Suns and Roses

by CyanideWhiskey

Rating: mature
Tags: Narcotics, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Princess Luna, RWBY, Horror, Profanity, Adventure, Shining Armor, Violence, Princess Celestia
Length: 2375

I just wanted to get home, why am I Ruby Rose? Celestia won't let me get a job, so I'm stuck here. Might as well help the guard since I've got nothing better to do.

I was just driving home after work and got caught in a storm. I should've been cooked by the lightning strike but apparently that's just not how life works. Now I've got the body of a prepubescent child, some idea on how to build and fight with scythes, random memories that definitely aren't mine, and my car. At least the guard will let me help where I can, even if they are all little pricks.

Heh, puns

Published 2023-06-11 01:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-06-26 17:10:27 UTC

Prologue

Author's Note

And so it begins! I'll try to post as soon as chapters get completed, but don't expect quick updates. That being said, please give me feedback and call out any spelling mistakes I make! I don't have an editor yet and this is the first time I've actually shared anything I've written.

Prologue

The rain came down hard as he looked out the slowly closing garage doors, walking forward to the regular door just off to the side. There were many things Elias Thorneshade liked about his job, and many more he didn’t, yet this was by far the greatest perk. Walking out the door he stepped to the side and breathed a deep sigh, the pattering on his hard hat drowning out the world as he took a moment to simply exist. The scorching heat of the foundry bled off him and dispersed into non-existence, while the rain hurriedly soaked into his long but thin sleeves. The chemical stench he’d long since grown accustomed to steadily became muted. The sting of minor burns dotting his arms flaring momentarily before being eased by the water’s gentle coolness.

Moments like this are what life is all about. Between all the hurry up and wait nonsense that the country seems to be addicted to, his unhealthy lack of meaningful relationships, and the hair-pulling frustration of his coworkers. Just taking a moment to exist in the rain is what makes it all worth it, soaking into all of life’s worries and simply washing them away in rivers like blood in a clear stream. He shook it off, deciding that he’d wasted enough time. Though it was Friday, Elias still had things to do tomorrow. There’s always something that needs doing, he thought morosely. Walking across to his car at the end of the parking lot, putting away his equipment, switching the hard hat for a ball cap, and finally beginning the short drive home.

Lightning cracked across the sky, shining in lethal beauty. Thunder rolling in moments after in a furious roar, screaming its defiance against an increasingly mechanical world. As the aging SUV rolled through the town, turning off to an old road, he envied the sight. Burning brighter than the sun, yet gone in an instant. It’s a beautiful sentiment, but I’d wager it wishes it could stay longer, He thought. The wind steadily picked up, faster, and faster, forcing him to slow down to stay on the road. There hasn’t been a tornado warning, but I get the feeling that one might be forming. I should find somewhere to hunker down, he thought as he pulled onto a gravel road. He drove to an old clearing his family used to gather and parked, knowing that this hill won’t get flooded and lightning won’t be likely to hit him with this many trees.

He parked and turned, climbing to the rear of the vehicle. He instinctively lowered his passenger seats to give him space to lay down. This old BMW may have been a bit pricey, but it’s worth it for this, he thought as he pulled out a thin blanket and pillow. Laying down, he readies himself for a damn good nap. Right as he’s drifting between consciousness and dreams, he feels something is very wrong. He shoots up, fully awake, the hairs all over his body standing on end with static electricity. A loud buzzing screams around him and he looks outside to see something insane.

Bolts of electricity seemingly reach out from his car, scorching the earth around him and igniting nearby trees and plants. He looks to the car’s dashboard, and the electronics are cycling as if it was short circuiting. “What the fuck!” he shouts as it continues, “Wait, did I just get struck with lightning? Why is it still going? It should’ve stopped by now! Did Top Gear lie to me?!” The car just keeps getting hotter and hotter, physics seemingly uncaring for his knowledge of popular media based science nonsense, until something finally breaks. Elias almost missed the first second his body started burning, the voltage surging through him in galvanic glee. He felt nothing… he felt everything… perplexed understanding and stupefying comprehension of what was happening bounced within his storm seared mind. Then quick as it had begun, there was silence.

Chapter 1

Sunlight filtered through the windows, and the twittering of birds could be heard outside. Voices could be heard filtering through the mental haze clouding the world in a thick cognitive fog. Elias felt around and his hands brushed something soft. Snatching it up and hugging it close to his chest, the only thing he could use to describe what he felt was wrong. He felt smaller, his clothes felt unfamiliar, even his chest felt odd against… whatever the hell he was clinging to for dear life. However, with his eyes still closed, it made it easier to cling to the chemical stench that permeated the car. Using its familiarity, he mentally seized it with all his metal willpower and forced himself into the present. I need to get a grip, he thought, the first tangible thought he’d had since awakening.

Slowly opening his eyes, he finally saw his surroundings. He was still laying in his car, miraculously untouched from last night’s (quite frankly insane) events. In his noticeably thin arms was his lunch box, more of a sack really. Looking down at himself, he finally noticed his clothes. A black corset with a red skirt, along with a red hood. Sitting up, he examined the rest of his outfit, noticing a rose emblem on his waist. “No,” was the first thing that came out of his mouth, with a voice both feminine and distinctly recognisable. “Absolutely fucking not. I know what I think I’m seeing, yet I do not fucking consent to this level of bullshit before breakfast,” he, or rather she proclaimed.

“Hey, there’s something inside it!” said a voice outside the car. Oh shit, she thought before looking for a weapon. I’m unarmed and I don’t keep a gun in here, looks like I’ll have to do a trench reenactment. She turned to the side compartment of the vehicle, grabbing a box and pulling out her new best friend. A simple entrenching tool, commonly used to dig the car out of deep snow, was now the only defense she had against whatever may be outside her doors. She didn’t even notice the brief flash of red light that surrounded the tool before she boldly opened the truck door. Wearing the most vicious glare she could currently create, one normally reserved for people wasting his time, Elias loudly announced her presence. “Listen up, I don’t know who you are but you better back the fuck away from my car or you’re parents are gonna have one less kid!”

Finally getting a view of the hooligans attempting to deface her rightfully earned property, Elias was left momentarily baffled. Small quadrupeds of a seemingly equine variety stared at her in befuddlement. They only came up to her waist, but they all wore bronze armor with the exception of a white, full sized horse in the back. The ponies then took defensive stances and the one nearest to her lunged forward with a bronze tipped spear. She sidestepped it, the weapon getting jabbed deep into her break light. With a glare she swung the glorified shovel upward and cut the shaft in two, following up with a forward lunge of her own. The loud clang of the flat shovel head meeting the armored head of the pony was almost comical, as was the fact she sent it flying a few feet away.

Before the other ponies could move forward to help their comrade, a serene voice quietly said “stop.” It wasn’t the volume or the tone that made her stop, but the underlying force woven within it. It simply felt as if the speaker was a veritable force of nature. As powerful and uncaring as a raging tornado, delivered in a package of soft breezes and quiet sunsets. Immediately Elias knew that the white unicorn pegasus thing, the one with what she now realized was a rainbow mane of raw energy, was some kind of monster or demon. If it wanted her dead, she would be powerless to stop it. “What is your business here in my garden, human?” it asked calmly.

Elias shoved down the fear attempting to suffocate her, replacing it with the raw fury of someone who can proclaim with absolute certainty they were the only competent person at their job. “My business is that mother fucker right there,” she pointed the shovel the downed guard, “Is gonna replace my mother fucking break lights or I’m gonna skin it and use it as a fucking door mat!” she yelled. “Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is getting replacement parts for a fucking BMW? Do you, Shitlord? Well, let me tell you, it ain’t fuckin’ easy I can tell you that much!” She began ranting at the demigod thing in front of her, voice cracking here and there only fueling the fires of her rage.

The Big One, for lack of an actual name, actually took this open defiance of her authority with a quiet peacefulness of a true politician. TBO (The Big One) simply allowed her to continue her rant for a few more minutes, all crassness and vulgarities washed off her like waves off a sandy beach. Insults about birth, family, and breeding seemingly weren’t even registered. The guards around her, however, were in various stages of shock and disgust, and the one that got whacked was now curled into the fetal position crying from the tirade… or maybe pain, Elias wasn’t sure. Eventually, her reserves of hate began to run dry, slowly dying down into a dull melancholic weariness. TBO stepped forward, reminding her of the old legends of Kiren and how they would walk with such grace they wouldn’t even disturb a single blade of grass. She stopped a few feet in front of Elias and examined her with a face full of pity.

The demigoddess lowered her head until they were eye to eye and asked “Are you ok?” Try as she might, Elias just couldn’t keep up her glare. It fell off revealing surprised and tired eyes. “I…” she trailed off, her gaze falling to her shovel, her mind starting to wander. Something soft pulled her close, and she found herself enveloped in the most divine hug she’d even experienced. The shock, fear, hate, and confusion of the situation just collapsed into a trainwreck of exhaustion and she leaned into TBO’s embrace. She fell into a dreamless sleep moments later.

Celestia held the little girl tightly as she relaxed and fell asleep. The sleep spell took far longer to take effect than it had any right too. The human should have fallen asleep the moment she started yelling at her little ponies, yet she stood firm as if she was unaffected by it. Horrifyingly, it was likely what saved her from getting stabbed by her guard. Celestia couldn’t blame the poor stallion, the chances of him knowing what she was were nonexistent at best. That strike, however, was something to behold. Even minotaurs had issues moving a trained earth pony stallion, yet this child swatted him away like he was a mere insect.

Then the girl started talking, or more accurately, screaming at them. What in the world could cause such an innocent looking girl to spout such things at anypony, and so much as well? I suppose that I’ll learn when she awakens, Celestia quietly thought as she gently moved the child to her back. “Princess, what are you doing? That thing is dangerous!” her guard captain said. She put on her princess smile and turned to him, “I thank you for your concern Captain Shining, however this creature is just a young girl. She is frightened, confused, and lashing out. Regardless, due to my spell she shall remain asleep for some time.” Celestia began walking past the assembled guards and past the captain, “Ensure nopony approaches or enters this cart, especially my student, and arrange for the Lieutenant to receive medical treatment. I shall bring our new “guest” to one of the empty guest rooms, would four of you accompany me to guard her door?”

Celestia reentered the castle proper and turned down the halls to the lunar wing, hearing four pairs of hoofsteps flanking her on either side. She wished that she didn’t need to ask for their presence, however you didn’t need her centuries of experience to see that this girl was shaken to the core. While she could hope the child had the sense to realize she wasn’t imprisoned, she knew the irrationality of the young well. Many of the castle’s denizens gave her very curious looks, though they were easily ignored. The human’s presence in tomorrow's newspapers however, was almost assured. She slipped into the little used lunar wing of the castle, and approached one of the many guest rooms. Celestia levitated the child into the lavish bed, tucking her in and examined her.

The dark red hair on the top of her head, the pale hairless skin, two arms and legs, along with a myriad of other features. There was no doubt in Celestia’s mind she truly was a human. How this was even possible is what she was worried about. By all accounts, if a human were to appear here they would have to go through the mirror portal. Though they would’ve appeared as a normal pony, as a safety precaution put in place by Star Swirl had they come in through that. The location doesn’t make sense either, as the mirror was locked away deep in the castle. She sensed no malicious magics around the carriage or on the girl herself either. The only thing she could sense was harmonic magic, though in a far larger concentration than normal. “How curious you are, little human,” Celestia muttered before turning away and leaving the girl. She didn’t even notice the pair of tired silver eyes watching her leave.

Chapter 2

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