Hell Hath No Fury on A Father Misplaced

by Cafffinator

Rating: mature
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Sex, Profanity, Gore, Violence, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Human, Narcotics, Main 6, Young Six, Romance, Princess Luna, Drama, Princess Cadance
Length: 15693

May God have mercy on those who stand in his way.

Lucy sweetie, daddy's not gonna be home for a while, ok? Something's come up and he can't see you and mommy until it's fixed.

But, I need you to do something for me while I'm away. I need you to be the brave girl I know you are. Mommy is going to be scared and I need you to be brave for her. I'm counting on you my little soldier.

Daddy will be home before you know it, so don't wait for me worry about it, alright?

Love you for eternity always,

-Dad

Prologue and the bottom note is used for the description.

Published 2023-07-12 17:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-24 16:34:29 UTC

Prologue

"Bump, bump, bump", that deceitful noise which taunts me, knowing that it will never be the sound in which it mimics."Tap, tap, tap", the first noise's predecessor, and holds the same goal of driving me further into insanity.

They say that, "It's the little things in life that you will come to cherish and miss when they are gone"... I never once thought that a simple auditory cue would be one of the many things I would give anything to hear again.

Instead I have these skilled impersonators. Bump comes from a low place, far lower than the noise locked away in my memories. Their skills at playing the wooden vessel are amateur at best, with the cadence being entire seconds off of the tempo. Tap is more refined in it's deception, being closer to a higher place, such as it's (supposed) doppelganger. They too, cannot play the angelic symphony of the victimized sound, however, they are well enough to fool a lesser man. The identity theft of the music goes even beyond HOW it is played and chooses to copy WHAT the notes are played WITH. You see, a veteran in this field may choose to adorn themselves in golds and silvers (both of which may contain the most priceless of jewels), as it is often used to add a more defined punctuation to there performance. Tap recognizes this and (crudely) will use iron in a vain attempt to follow suit.

... A knock...

A FUCKING KNOCK!!!!!!

I'm starting to monologue like a god-damn psychopath over the technicalities of what is and is-not a knock!?!?!?!?! How much longer until I completely lose it? How much longer until I forget everything of what I once was? How many more nights will I only have the most blissful sleep come from when I can't remember the night prior? How many more strolls through the woods looking for the sturdy tree? Years? Months? Weeks!? Days!?!?!

No... I made a promise to myself. I have the plan, I just need to follow it. If that plan fails... then I will allow myself peace everlasting.

I'm brought out of my existential crisis from the being outside the door "David? Are you home?". I know that voice and while I'm not exactly against interacting with her specifically, there are circumstances put in place so I don't have to. "I know you just put up the new mailbox and all, but I have a letter here that was paid to be delivered personally"... Well that answers that question, don't it? I still have a love-hate relationship with this place and convenient timings.

"Yea- *cough, cough, cough*..." It takes me a minute to get my coughing fit under control before I am able to respond. With hoarse (again with the puns!) voice through a burning throat, I reply "One minute, I'll be right there". I make to stand and immediately regret it for a multitude of reasons. The most prominent being the headache and spinning vision I get from standing up to fast. This, in turn, leads to my stomach deciding now is a good time to voice his opinion. I elect to listen to his statement in the bathroom. Scrambling to my feet, I make a mad dash for the bathroom door on the other side of the room. I practically face plant onto the toilet after shoulder checking the innocent door. Following the voiding of my internals, I remain to dry-heave until my gut figures that the point has been made. My throat and mouth burn with the feeling of stomach acid and booze. Speaking of burning, "Ah fuck" , my everything is on fire. I seize up and dare not to move, for fear of a cramp. I start to perform micro stretches to my limbs and their joints, but find it difficult to do so without aggravating the claw/bite marks.

"Um David, are you o.k.?". Of course she can here me. The walls are the same from the previous owner and I didn't think I would need to change that... until yesterday that is.

Note to self: experiment with SOUND insulation on top of heating/cooling insulation... actually scratch that, we'll just go for a 2 in 1. " I'm fine, I just... tripped. I'm such a klutz I swear." I know it might be underhanded, but being the biggest (by far) klutz I know (hell, maybe even this town knows), I figure she would be a prime candidate to sympathies for my delay to answer the door.

"Oh, tell me about it. I swear those poles come out of nowhere!" It sounds like she is talking more to herself than me, but hey, it worked. Not wanting to waste the distraction, I mechanically unwind myself from the commode and stand to my full height. I'm halfway to the door when my reflection in a mirror gives me pause.

I do not have time to deal with the questions this we'll bring. The smell of booze (even this early in the morning) would be something I could make an excuse for, but the same can't be said for the rest. Thinking fast, I strip off, what has essentially been reduced to rags, and begin putting on a sweat-set to cover everything but my face and hands... which are really pruned for some reason. Drama queen will want an explanation following her act of COMPLETLEY FLIPPING-SHIT if I ever want those "presentable" again. I take a whiff of myself and visibly wince. I reek of sweat, blood, vomit, and alcohol... with a slight undertone of pine. Damnit, a shower will take to long and it's not like I have Old Spi-. My eyes go wide as my head snaps to the glass bottle still sitting on the top shelf. God? I would like to restate my last message. Fuck you. I take a moment to appreciate how nice (and not smelling like death) my house smells... before immediately changing that. I take a lung-full of sweet oxygen and give myself a few conservative sprits in the most potent areas of my body. Don't think about what's inside of it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it... With the mantra in my head, I fast-walk (eager to get this over with) to the door. I step on my clothes pile as it makes a muted crunch from all the small brush still attached to it. Donning a casual face, my posture relaxes and I open the door. "Morning Dixie". I give my best attempt at a genuine smile to follow-up the greeting.

"Morning Mr. Daniel. I got another letter from Pi- what happened to your face!?" she askes with no hint of subtlety. I couldn't exactly come up with a reason as to why I would be wearing a ski mask to open the door, so I skipped covering the cuts on my face and decided to just wing it...

If it's not myself, then these puns are what's going to end me. "Oh this? Just some nicks I got from trimming a hedge that had thorns in it." I guess that's not a total lie. "That another one from Dianne?" I ask, changing the topic to the bright pink letter she was about to give me.

"Huh? Oh! Right, here you go." She gives me the letter with her standard cross-eyed smile.

This town has an optometrist. Why has she never had her eyes looked at? I guess delivering mail might not come with good benefits. That could be a nice birthday pres- IDIOT FOCUS!!! I'm talking like I'm planning on staying here! If I want out of this hell, then I need to pull my head out of my ass! It's at this point I realize that my postal carrier has been talking.

"-ie seemed to be in a real hurry when I saw her and paid me a lot to make a direct delivery. I tried to tell her that I would do it for free, but she was already gone."

"Well you know her, always up to something." The smile on my face takes more effort to hold, as I begin to piece things together in my head.

"* giggle* Yeah, that's true. Love the new mailbox by the way!" She says with complete ignorance to my internal conundrum. The mailbox in-turn, dimly reflects the sunlight off of its brownish-gray exterior.

I love you cast-iron. I really do. "Thanks, just thought I would do something a little different" Yeah, keeping my mailbox intact.

"Well it certainly... *sniff* *sniff* Sorry, are you wearing cologne?" She asks with the signs of a blush creeping to her face.

Fuck. "Yeah, I got it as a gift and wanted to know what it smelled like. More came out then I was expecting so here we are heh heh" My explanation does little to deter her case of "tomato face" and she begins to fidget.

"W-wow that sure smells nice. Um... well I'll see you around. These letters won't deliver themselves after all" She starts taking small steps away from my door and I take the hint.

"Ha! No they won't. Well, I'll let you get to it. Say hi to the little one for me." I re-enter my home at the same pace she is leaving it and hear a quick "will do" before closing the door. I wait until I hear the sound of rapid wing beats, before letting out my breath and slumping to the floor against the door. My mind starts to drift as to why she got embar-NO IT DOSEN'T! Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, soooooo much nope.

With my thoughts (totally not) on the subject, I take a breath and gag. Remembering that I smell like I should be banned by a Geneva Convention, I toss the clothes I'm wearing into the dirty clothes hamper and contemplate setting it on fire. Now standing stark naked (and not rushing), I get a good look at all of the bandages I applied last night. Well, at least I wasn't "completely shit-faced". Putting the card on the coffee table, I stride to the bathroom ready to have a loooooong shower. *sniff* Ahhhh barf. How I missed you so. Thankful for the fact that the atmosphere has changed, I gladly inhale the sent of what I ate yesterday.

The shower is the perfect thing I need to start my day. The sensation of the hot water cascading down my body does wonders for the aches. It stings the cuts, but they needed to be cleaned out regardless. My mouth stays open in order to wet my (very dry) whistle. The drain swirls with the red and brown remnants of last night's festivities. I begin to gently unwrap my last minute patch job (so the water has a better chance to get to the sap) when I notice something. Huh, so that's where those went. The bandages turn out to not be bandages at all and are rather the tattered strips that were missing from my garb. "I really don't give drunk-me enough credit" Even thought the rain would've done a good job of hiding my tracks, I definitely made enough noise to warrant investigation. No evidence. Good. While I'm pretty sure what I did (and almost did) last night wasn't illegal, it would be a cause for concern for my health. That's the last thing I need right now. I have work that needs to be done and I can't do that if they won't leave me alone.

I walk out of the shower smelling more floral than cancerous along with freshly opened wounds. Grabbing the red towel, I dry off the water and blood. I look up from my drying to something that truly haunted my very soul. Is that... me? The man in my bathroom mirror looked so foreign to me, that I thought I was saved for the briefest of moments. That moment ended when we came within a few inches of each other. If I was asked to describe him from a cursory glance, I'd say he was a cross between John Wick and the Terminator. He was toned and well built, but with a cutting board for a body. He wore a wedding band, but it was dulled and chipped. He had an award winning smile, but it was hidden behind a hardened frown. Then there was his eyes, the windows to the soul, set behind a cage silky black hair. They were dull (practically grey), but spoke of tales that would cause the very mountains to bow. A wall of sheer, unbridled rage guarded him, strong and proud. But behind that rage, behind that hate, festered a feeling that wafted the aroma of fatigue and contempt. It was defeat.

{Suggested background music}

Look at yourself. He spoke with venom, pity, and nonchalance all at the same time. It echoed around me. You've gone native. Almost like an... animal. Wouldn't you say? Heh heh.

"Shut up"

It makes sense really. You don't have to work anymore. You have all the free time you could hope for. You're healthier. What else? Oh yeah, YOU'RE IMMORTAL!!!

"Stop talking"

You're practically a god compared to them, with where there society is. You could conquer them. Become their king. Command them! It would be so easy.

"That's enough!"

Let's not forget they're polygamous. Why wait for one wife to be in the mood? When you can just "Fuck em' all, Pokémon!" HA!!!

"Get out of my head!!!"

Oh, and I'm sure your daughter will be fine. After all, you know what they says about girls who don't have a fath-

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHN" *shatter, crunch, rumble*

I threw the first punch. He was the first to fall. We both lost the fight.

My eyes go wide and my pupils turn to pin pricks in the wake of my actions. I just punched my reflection. Where there once was a full sized bathroom mirror now sat a fist sized hole in the wall. Said fist was still in the wall, before shakily slithering out.

The wall of rage has crumbled and only its charge lay exposed for all to see.

I fall to my knees and stare into my hands as they begin to shake like a mad m- Is that what I am? Was it not days and instead mere hours? At this point I'm hyperventilating with a firm grip on the my scalp, just above the temples.

"No, *inhale, pause, exhale* keep it together. *inhale, pause, exhale* Just think about who you're doing this for." I look down at my wedding banded hand and am flooded with memories. I shook your fathers hand with this hand. I asked you to dance with this hand. I proposed to you with this hand. I will always love you with this hand. I turn to the other hand as it continues to bleed from the glass shards.

Looking at the state it is in, causes me to do something I haven't done (sober) in a long time. I cut your umbilical cord with this hand.

I cried.

I tucked you into bed with this hand.

I sobbed.

I wiped your tears away with this hand.

I wailed.

I-am losing a lot of blood.

I acted on auto pilot, to emotionally drained to even think about my actions. I stood, entered the living room, and opened the coat closet by the front door. The contents of the First-Aid kit appeared WWII era at best, but it would have to do. I ended up using all the gauze and bandages in order to keep the bleeding at bay. Manual mode is returned to me on the couch, a pair of shorts on, an apple in one hand, and a glass of water in the other. Both the apple and water are gone in less than a minute.

I make to stand, but instead reach across the coffee table as I spot the pink letter. A thought occurs to me with it in my hand. I know what you're trying to do. All of you think that I need cheering up huh? You think a nice get together with some choice words will make everything right-as-rain, don't you? You all probably tolerate me because it was your ruler who stranded me here in the first place. She probably wants to tell me how sorry she is. That with our quote-unquote "friendship", I'm supposed to forgive her. Well I'm terribly sorry, but... I tossed the letter into the kindlin pile as the sound of a balloon deflating could be heard down the road. ...for as long as I stand here, you are dead to me. Besides...

The wall of rage began to rebuild itself, but it wasn't alone this time.

...I don't need you. I look down the hall to the slightly open office door as parchment spills out the bottom. "Alright buzz boy, lets see what you got." I stand and move to the door.

The wall is being built with mortar. Mortar made from a promise.

I open the door and chuckle. "Definitely not enough credit"

A promise to protect.

From floor to ceiling, there is nothing but parchment.

A promise to guide.

Parchment filled with crazy plans. BRILLIANTLY crazy plans.

A promise to love.

I look back down at my bandaged hand. I will pick you up when you have fallen down, with this hand.

Red strings grip the walls in a spiderweb. They connect history to myths. They connect places to artifacts. They connect legends to hope.

I will give you away on your wedding day with this hand!

A corner of the room is occupied by a mountain of books. Books with an inch of dust on them. Books with demonic symbols on the cover. Books that are bound in chains.

I will be there to love you always, with this hand!!!

"The bastard even moved the coffee machine in here." Spent filters littered the ground, while at least a dozen mugs were being used as paperweights. This explained the occasional round stain that the research adorned.

A smirk makes its way across my face

"Keep the bed warm for me sweetie"

I clear away the loose papers from the center of the desk. There, circled in red (probably my blood), reads REQUIREMENTS FOR DIMMENSIONAL TRAVEL.

"Cause daddy's coming home"

Author's Note

There is a lot to cover here, so I'll just bullet point some of the main things to get across, and try to answer as many questions as I can in the comments.

1.) Yes, this is set in a point in time after Chapter 1.

2.) Yes, there is a LOT of context that isn't shown. It shows that enough time has passed in the story that mentioning it would be redundant.

3.) Yes, there are some grammatical errors here. Some of those are by accident but a lot are probably a choice for style. Mentioning them in the comments is still appreciated as I am my only editor (hint, hint) and just wanted to get the story written down. I have never written any stories (outside of school) before, so constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

4.) I wrote this (mainly) for myself, as I don't think there are enough HIE stories where the MC doesn't just "accept" that their life has been ripped away from them, and that they now are the only human they will ever see again.

Edit) Im a moron who (apparently can't keep the MC'c name straight)

Chapter 1

Sometime in the past...

"Ugh, did someone get the license plate of that lawn? ..." Wait, lawn? I reach over to my nightstand and grab the grass that-Grass?!?!!?!

I'm on high alert in an instant and get to my feet. I scan the area around me for any danger. I keep a calm mind, as panicking never does anyone any good. I'm in a clearing of an unknown forest, what seems to be far away from the city (no noise or light pollution), and in the dead of night.

Concluding that I am in no immediate danger, I begin to examine myself. Wallet, weapons, and valuables are still on my person. I wasn't mugged... There are no puncture wounds on any of my arteries and I am cognitively stable. I wasn't drugged... The back of my head is swollen and my neck is scratched/stained from grass. I was knocked unconscious.

Come on, think, think, think! What happened? Why am I in a forest? Why was I unconscious? Why... is my left shoe gone? I had only now realized that I was slightly leaning to the left and decided to look down. "Out of everything I have..." Below my beige kakis, on my right foot, sits a brown leather shoe. The same can't be said for the left, as it is only adorned with a simple black sock. I spare a glance around the ground of the clearing for a few seconds, before deciding that there are more important things to do.

I take my phone out of my pocket and check its location history. It still thinks I'm in front of my house? Things only get weirder from there. It's only been a few minutes since I got back from work as well? I don't live anywhere close to woods this dense. The phone is still at 100%, but I have no reception. I attempt to call 911 anyways. It didn't ring, but if any of it did go through, then they would have a ping to the location of the call.

I take a calming breath and look to the night sky as both my jaw and phone drop. "Whoah" Complete and udder beauty is the only way I can describe the sight before me. Each and every star seems to shine with animation against a clear dark blue canvas. Rather than simple dots, these stars seem to take on a glow that resembles 5 points. It's practically choreographed, the way they take turns to shine in a wave pattern. However they all pale in comparison to the true star (no pun intended) of the show. The moon. It's majestic. It's huge. It's bright. It's-wrong.

I took enough astrology to know that the night sky can't possibly look the way it looks now. It wasn't even supposed to be full tonight! "What the hell is going on here?" Retrace your steps from last night.

"I grabbed my work bag. I got out of my car. I walked across my front lawn. Then there was that idiot with purple LED headlights that came out of nowhere behind me... somehow. Which caused my left leg to give out... I think. I tried to balance by leaning backwards. Then... nothing." Even I don't believe that story and I'm the one who experienced it.

Well if I'm going to be in a forest, then I'm doing it with 2 shoes on. I open my duffel bag and take out my running shoes. The full contents of the bag include; running shoes, workout clothes, deodorant, some over the counter pain reliever/anti-inflammatory, my laptop and its charger, some work documents, my phone charger, ink pens, my metal water bottle, and my lunch (we had a surprise meeting where lunch was provided). In my pockets I carry my phone, wallet, keys, and straight blade knife. Finally, on my waist I carry a 9mm Pit Viper handgun.

Ok, I have 2 options in this scenario. Option 1: make a camp, slowly explore the area, and find high enough ground to build a signal fire. Option 2: follow signs of civilization. "Hmm".

"What the fuck was that!?" Does it matter?!?!?! Option 2 and fast!!! I take off in a dead sprint heading for where the forest slopes downwards. Low elevation leads to water. Water leads to a stream. A stream leads to a river. A river leads to civilization. Civilization leads to me not dying!!!

1 hour later...

"Finally" The generic forest ambiance has been replaced by the sound of flowing water. I come out of the tree line to a sizeable river flowing down a small slope. Now, do I travel up or down stream?

"Somepony help!!!"

That came from upstream!!! "Hold on! I'm on my way!" As I run along the river side, I have a strange thought. These occurrences almost seem too convie-

"Oh thank Celestia. We're under the tree! Please hurry!!!" The sound of snarling and a tree being bashed with something heavy has become more prevalent, as I near the source of the voice. The voice in question sounds female, no older than a teenager.

That sounds like a lion. Unfortunately for me, I was only partially correct in that guess.

I cress the top of the hill to a truly terrifying sight. "That's a big cat" Understatement of the century. The beast before me is at least 7 feat tall. It appears to be a lion with a deep red mane, well pronounced muzzle, and very tall ears. The mega lion was hunched over, desperately trying to claw and bite its way through exposed tree roots on the bank of the river. At least it was, until my presence became known. Those tall ears are apparently not just for show as they have swiveled in my direction. It looks up from attacking (what I assume is) the child's barrier and the aggression begins to make sense.

Give a killing machine rabies, because what else can life throw at me today!? A thick, frothy foam pours out of its massive maw. Every muscle that line's its body, spasms uncontrollably beneath its skin. Its movements are akin to that of someone who'd be inebriated; uncoordinated and aggravated. It decides that I am an easier target and begins to close the 40 yard gap between himself and I. It moves in an absolutely feral way. It doesn't want to hunt for food. It wants to hunt just to kill.

I waste no time; aiming my pistol, flicking off the safety, and- *BANG* -firing. The Winchester 124-grain PDX-1 round hits home, right between the beast's eyes. That ammunition's soul purpose is for penetration, so if that doesn't work, nothing will. The lion makes it 30 yards before it's movements slow. It adopts a look of confusion, before stumbling and falling over. Dead. [20 shots left]

Little too close for comfort, but I'll take it. Now, lets see if those kids are ok. I jog up to the dugout in hopes of finding people who can get me out of this forest. "I-Is the manticore gone!?" This is a new voice, roughly the same age but male.

Manticore? The kid must have been so scared, he imagined the lion differently. However, as I look at it from behind, it appears that I'm the one imagining things. "I just HAD to ask "what else?" didn't I?" I mutter. What I had mistakenly assumed to be a normal lion's tail, was instead a gigantic red scorpion tail. The final segment of the tail (that's connected to the foot long stinger) is at least as big as my head. What I thought was just loose skin around its barrel, turned out to be a set of massive bat wings. They twitch and extend slightly as the body sends out its last signals. If I were to guess the span of them, I'd wager close to 20ft. I killed an ACTUAL manticore. [Brain.exe has failed to load and isn't responding. Running diagnostics...]

"Uh, yeah it's safe now" Existential crisis later. Get the fuck out of Dodge NOW!!! My concept of reality is on thin ice right now, so the sooner I can get these people out of the woods, the sooner I can get some answers. I crouch down and look between the tree roots (which don't look like they could have taken much more). "Is everyone al-" The thin ice that my reality was on? It melted, boiled, evaporated, rained back down, and froze my reality at the bottom of the lake it sat upon.

[Brain.exe has suffered a fatal error. Running program: Assess_Aid_and_Evac] There were six creatures in total, before me. Each of them having very sentient expressions, with disproportionately large eyes.

The first creature I noticed, appeared to be the mythological beast known as a griffon (the "theoretical" cross-breed between an eagle and a lion). It drew my eye due to its insistence on having as much space as possible. It was hyperventilating in the small confines of the tree roots and pushing its compatriots away. Sounds like the voice I just heard. So I guess he is male and claustrophobic. Standing on all fours, I would approximate that he would be 4' 1. His fur and feathers are a light sky blue, with his wings and large tail plume being a slightly darker shade. However, his under belly leading to his beak is a tanned-white color. The only other color on his body was yellow, which occupied his beak, claws, eyebrows, and tips of his head feathers. His eyes were an ocean blue.

The next creature was (conveniently enough) trying in vain to calm the griffon down. At first I thought it was some sort of lizard, until I noticed-Wings? Hmmm... wait... no... don't tell me that's a- Dragon. It fit the bill. Seeing as how it was crouched down like a normal biped would, I would wager their height to be 3' 8. The scales and outer wing skin was a faded orange. A light sweet corn yellow made up the underbelly (which ran from the snout down to the end of the tail), the pair of horns (which came out the sides of the head to curve upwards above the head spines), and the inner wing skin. The only spines they had, occupied the head and tip of the tail. Both of which were Fuchsia pink. The head spines interlocked in a way that it resembled hair and the tail spine looked akin to a leaf (with the actual tail making up the "stem" of the leaf). It seems (just like actual reptile's) it doesn't have eyebrows however, in their stead, it uses the scales above the eyes to express facial expressions (not unlike eyebrows). They only have two notable fangs that come out of the upper set of teeth and even those are tiny. The (reptilian) eyes were a java blue.

On the other side of the cavern, was (yet) another mythological specimen. A hippogriff (the "theoretical" cross-breed between an eagle and a horse). It had a bruise on its left hind leg and its left wing was splayed out, twitching. It whimpered as it attempted to stifle its crying. Sounds like the first voice. So she is female with a left hind leg and wing injury. Definitely the tallest of the bunch, she probably has a height of around 4' 4. Her fur and wings were a cherub pink. Her mane and tail had a two-toned "zebra" pattern, of seagull and link water blue. Lavender magenta made up her beak, claws, and hind hooves. She wore a necklace with stones of similar colors. Her eyes were a gradient purple.

Next to her was... was... ok, I give up. The shape of the being next to the hippogriff made me think of an equine, but every other aspect of it screamed insect. So... bug-horse? Let's go with that. The "bug-horse" looked absolutely exhausted, however it was still trying to comfort its injured comrade. In stark contrast to the last being, it held a likely height of 3' 6. Its exoskeleton was a powder blue, but strongly resembled an equine's hide. It had chitin that resembled the hair of a horse's mane and tail. This was a transparent sea pink. Additionally, it had an elytra (not unlike a lady bug's) that was Mandy with Mauvelous pink spots. In the center of the forehead sat a horn that had two tips, with one reaching farther than the other. The creature's ocellus (insect eyes) were Keppel blue.

Taking up the majority of the space in the safe haven, sat (somehow) the most normal looking creature. A yak with two pink bows parting its long hair from the face. It also wore a Chinook green shoulder blanket over its hump. Hmm, that's the only one to wear clothes and they seem feminine. So we'll go with female. From her hump, she would measure up to 4'3. Her long, shaggy, leather brown wool covered everything but her straw hide ankles and face. The hooves and horns were the same two tones of Sirocco blue and Nandor green. Her muzzle was a parchment tan, while her eyes were an olivine green.

Now I originally thought that there was only 5 creatures under this tree. That was, until I noticed the form struggling to breath in the yak's vice grip bear hug. As he came up for air, and there is no question that he is a HE from the way he is being held I took in his appearance. He was a pony but- why does he have three sea turtles printed on his ass? A brand maybe? If he wasn't smothered by yak fluff, he would probably be the middle ground of the group in terms of height at 4 ft. even. His coat was Australian Mint (not far from a mossy beach). The mane and (cropped) tail were two toned with turquoise and mountain meadow green. Huh, it looks like seaweed. His eyes were silver tree green.

"-right?..." With my introduction, brings the end to their motions. At first an overwhelming sense of relief and joy is shared among the prisoners of the tree. However, as they realize what saved them they adopt looks of hesitation and sink further into the roots. They're absolutely traumatized. "Hey" I put my hands up in a disarming manner. "It's going to be ok. Your safe now." No child, regardless of species, should have to go through what these kids went through.

The bug-horse fixes me with a scrutinizing gaze, almost like it's searching for something. After a solid ten seconds, it adopts a look of bewilderment. "Guys" Ok, bug horse is female. Noted. I don't leave her gaze as she speaks. "I think we can trust i-um him" Every head snaps to her with varying degrees of confusion. Did she almost call ME "it"?

Suddenly overcoming his claustrophobia, the griffon scrambles over to her and gets right in her ear. "Are you crazy!?" He steals an occasional glance my way. "All we know about this thing is that it somehow took care of a manticore, it came from the Everfree, and is taller than Celestia!!! Have you ever even heard any magic sound like THAT before?!" Ok so, the name of that forest is called the Everfree... never heard of it. Also, do they really not see many things taller than 6' 2?

Distant thunder started to boom in the distance. We don't have time for this. "Your friend seems hurt" I say glancing to the hippogriff. I crawl my way over to her at calming pace. "May I?" I gesture to her bruises. She has a look of confliction stretched across her beak. How that exactly works, I still don't know. She looks to the bug-horse, who gives her a smile and a nod, before looking back to me. With squeezed eyes, she nods.

"Can you tell me your name?" I need to keep her distracted while I do this. I begin to test the range of motions in her injured limbs.

"*sniff* Silverstream" She doesn't wince with every motion, but it still is enough to be worrisome. Both her (wing and ankle) joints are inflamed, but not enough to consider that a break occurred. She needs to keep that hoof elevated to help the swelling go down and that wing won't be flying for a while.

I open up my bag and take out the bottles of pain reliever, anti-inflammatory, and water. I put, in my hand, one and two of the pills respectfully. "Ok Silverstream, I'm going to need you to take these so you start feeling better" I hold the medication out to her, but she still shies away. She still doesn't trust me. "We'll do it together". I take out the same portion for myself and show myself consuming the drugs. I need WAY more than this right now. Seeing as how it was safe for me to ingest, she takes the pills and swallows them. She begins to gag and I let her drink from my bottle.

"That was awful" she sticks her tongue out in perhaps the most adorable way possible.

"Heh, yeah it don't taste good, but it'll get the job done" Just like that, the tension begins to leave the room. Now the important question. "So do any of you know a way out of this place?" They all share a slow nod. "Ok. Good." I turn back to Silverstream and get really close to her. "Now what I need you to do is put your arms around me" she glances around the room as her arms slowly creep towards me. "It's ok, I won't bite" I say with a small chuckle. For the first time, she gives a small smile (albeit an uneasy one) and loops her arms around my neck. "Got a good grip?" she nods "Alright, 1, 2, 3, up!" I pick her up bridal style, while staying crouched. She momentarily freaks out, before deciding to just relax in the position. "Feel better?" Must feel nice to have that pressure off her hoof. She doesn't meet my gaze, but still nods. Looking up from her, I spot five jaws on the ground.

"Whoa" Ok, dragon is also female. side stepping back through the roots, my bag bumps into one of them, causing it to collapse the rest of the way. This gives the children pause, as they begin to connect some unwanted dots in their heads. They share a look and continue on their way. The rain has started to come down now "Do any of you know someplace to wait this out?"

"The treehouse, but it's a bit of a walk" says the pony. Huh, even his voice sounds like a stereotypical "surfer dude".

"Well, let's get a move on then" Before they notice the corpse. If they haven't heard a gunshot before, then I'm not explaining it right now. They move at a jog in order to keep up with my stride, so I elect to let them lead on.

"We almost died" I look down to see that Silverstream has a thousand yard stare. I know that look. "If you didn't show up then-

"Look at me" I move my head right in front of her's and fix her with a serious expression "You're alive and well. That's all that matters. Ok?" Tears begin to flow freely off her feathered face and she hugs me tightly.

"T-thank you" Even through the rain, I feel her tears on my shoulder.

"Shhhhh sh sh, it's ok it's ok" I stroke the back of her mane. Thankfully, everyone else seemed to be too lost in their own conversations to notice. Hopefully this "treehouse" is close by.

30 min later...

I'm tired. I don't even look up from the ground, as wet and cold turns to dry and warm. I instead tunnel vision on the holy grail of couches. Must be that big to accommodate all of th- you know what? I'm too tired to even analyze. I set both my bag and Silver down on one end of the couch. I hear the inhale of five different lungs and raise my finger. "Before..." I turn around to (once again) five open mouths. "...I answer an any questions, trust me I have some as well, can I get an ice pack and something to wrap it with?" They simultaneously shut there mouths. The dragon is the one to scamper off and grab the items I requested. "Thank you" I set to work wrapping her ankle while the bug-horse speaks.

"May we know your name?" I hear in her voice that she is getting really exited, so I better make this blunt.

"David, David Sanderman" I look back over to the group. "Actually, I don't think I got the rest of your names" That could make things easier... I hope.

They all perk up with the same realization that I just had. "Oh! Of course. I'm Ocellus" She's named after what her eyes are called?

The next to speak is the dragon, "Smolder" Named after a verb?

The griffon, "Gallus" He's named after a genus of large birds? Would that mean that griffons are under that genus, instead of under the feline class? Of course, in Scottish origins it could also just mean something like "bold" or "daring"... that's probably it.

The pony, "Sandbar" ...Call it a hunch, but I think he likes the beach.

Then finally the yak, "Yona is Yona" Huh, nice name.

"Well Ocellus, Smolder, Gallus, Sandbar, Yona,..." I glance behind myself "...and Silverstream, thank you for letting me stay here to ride out the storm. However, if it's the same to you, can we table the questions for the morning?" I give a yawn to drive the point home. This causes all of them to do the same.

Smolder stretches her arms over her head and speaks, "I'm with the big guy on this one. Night everycreature." They share similar formalities, before heading upstairs. I grab my workout clothes from my bag and go around a corner.

As I start to remove my soaked clothing thank you waterproof phone case, I hear a conversation. "Silver? You need help coming upstairs?' I hear Ocellus ask.

"Oh! Um... I think I'll just stay down here. Don't want my hoof to get worse y'know? he he"

"Makes sense, I'll bring you both some bedding" I finish changing and find a bathroom with a shower. I hang the clothes over the shower curtain, so they can properly dry. Coming back in to the other room I see two bead-spreads have been placed on opposite sides of the couch.

"I could have taken you upstairs" I explain, while setting up the bedding. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that she has become very interested in my new apparel.

"Oh! Well I... uh... wanted to stay close by in case you needed something!" She must have been out there for too long, cause it looks like she's starting to heat up.

"Well, that is very thoughtful of you" I put the rest of my items in my bag and crawl onto my side of the couch. "Goodnight Silverstream"

"Goodnight David" I practically go straight to sleep as soon as the blanket is over myself... almost anyway.

"Um... David? Are you still awake?" My bliss has been interrupted by a voice and a talon tapping my arm.

"Hmm? What is it Lu-" I squint my eyes, "Silver?" I just want sleep right now. Is that to much to ask for?

"C-can I... is it alright if..." She won't look at me and has her index talons are pointing at each other. So that's what this is about. I don't say a word and simply raise my blanket to allow her access. She practically dives under the covers and curls up in front of my torso. Is she purring? That's not something equines OR avians do... didn't I say I was too tired to analyze? I simply shrug it off. Eh, definitely not the weirdest- [Program: Assess_Aid_and_Evac has been completed. Booting Brain.exe... 98%... 99%... 100%] Through blurry eyes I look down, I look up, I look all around. I'm spooning with a hippogriff, in her massive crystalized treehouse, after saving her (and her fellow fairy tale creatures) from a manticore...

"Oh, what in the actual flying fu- [Sleep mode: ON]

Author's Note

I feel like it's obvious, but the whole [Brain.exe] segments are just comedic ways to show how David is handling the situation.

Love the support so far, I have so many ideas for this story and I can't wait to see where it leads.

Chapter 2

My sleep is restless, but deep. I toss and turn in my moments before wake. A vain attempt to be reacquainted with the sandman. I didn't exactly have nightmares, however, I couldn't shake off an odd sense of dread that seemed to taunt my mind. My muscles feel like I just went backpacking in the mountains. To top it off? The sun decides that my face is the perfect place to shine. "Mph, close the blinds"

"Oh! Sorry about that, we still haven't decided on a color yet."

"*Yawn* That's fine, I'll... just..." The fatigue of my body is no longer the forefront of my mind. I blink once... twice... a few times... I still see the same thing. Bug... horse?

"Buuuuut, since you are awaaaake, we can share those questions you mentioned yesterday!" She jumps up in the air and hovers with her insect-like wings. She clops her front hooves hooves together and lets out a gleeful "EEEE". "This is so exiting! I can't wa-"

I hear nothing.

I feel nothing.

Last night's supposed dream flashes through my mind. From waking up in the middle of nowhere, to spooning a hippogriff. I look down. Sure enough, it-she is still curled up, lightly snoozing. A quick tug at my arm hair tells me everything I need to know. I'm not dreaming.

I felt that.

I hear "-incess Twighlight will be all like "Ocellus you truly are my most gifted student. Will you please be my personal protégé?" and I'll be all like "Oh most certainly your maj-" Hey, are you alright?" Her weirdly expressive face shows confusion, which gives way to concern.

I give no verbal response. Instead I choose to go for a slow nod while not taking my eyes off of the creature before me. With the stealth of a thief, I get off the couch (somehow not waking its other occupant) and begin to backpedal to a door I notice in my peripheral.

"Are you sure? Cause you taste like-" Taste!?!?!?!?!

"AAAAAHHHH!!!!*SLAM*" I made it to the room. Panic time! Panicking sounds really good right about now!!! "No no no no no that was a dream! They don't exist they don't exist they-"

"*Yawn* What's with all the noise? Also, where's Dahvid?", asks Silverstream.

"He locked himself in the bathroom. He seemed really scared for some reason."

"-exist they don't... bathroom? But that would mean..." There, hanging over the oddly low shower rod, sits my soaked clothing. Oh, I just completely lost my marbles... neat. "I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm n-" During my (totally not crazy) ramblings, more of the creatures entered the living room.

"What the hay could scare Dudevid?" I hear from Sandbar. Is that meant to be a nickname or something? "The only things here are the treehouse and us."

"Well it can't be the treehouse cause it hasn't changed from last night" Smolder pauses for a short while. "Yup, still looks delicious." wat? "Are you sure one of you guys didn't do something to freak Deevod out? ...What the hell makes it so hard to say my name?

"Yona not see Doevoe today. Oh, come on!

Gallus is the next to speak. "Look, I don't know if you guys noticed, but that manticore wasn't sleeping when we got out from those roots. Are you positive that it was fear that Deeveed was-"

"Oh for the the love of! DAYVID!!! DAY-VID!!! It's not that- Gah! What am I talking to you for anyways?!? You're just a figment of my imagination!!! Where was I? Oh yeah. "I'm not crazy, I'm not-" From the other side of the door, a tense silence dragged on.

Ocellus moved up to the door and was the first to break said silence. "Figment of your imagination? Wait....David"Bout' time. "Do you think we're not real?"

"Can't hear you over the sound of you not existing!"...Did I really just say that?... Ah, who am I kidding? I'm in denial and I know it. "Look just... gimmie a sec..." I close my eyes and focus on steadying my breathing. Lets skip the other stages and get straight to 'acceptance', why don't we?... Wait, what am I grieving exactly... my sanity? Eh, fuck it. I'm not debating semantics. An old habit of mine is to talk to myself whenever I'm stressed out. That side of me hasn't reared it's ugly head in years.

However, the method of my madness still works and I'm able to analyze the bathroom I reside in. There was nothing really noteworthy about it; apart from everything being smaller, the room looked fairly spartan... and crystal. From the walls, to the sink, to the toilet, everything was made out of the same blue/purple crystalized surface. Upon an even closer examination, I notice a lack of electrical sockets or modern ventilation. A single rounded, window appeared to be the only source of airflow that one could control. Speaking of control, there weren't any light switches, and/or light bulbs that connected to said light switches. Instead, there were small diamond shaped crystals that hung from (unfathomably) thin crystal rods. They emitted very faint hues of light that illuminated the space they occupied. The colors ranged from light blues, to greens, and even the standard yellow color you expect out of a light. I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

The shaky voice of Silverstream began to emit from the doo. "W-we're really sorry about mispronouncing your name David. We didn't mean to offend you. P-please don't be mad at us." God, I'm an ass. They're clearly just as clueless about this situation as I am. Now, they think I'm angry at them.

I open the door to see Silverstream shaking like a leaf and cowering away from me. I crouch down and try to sound reassuring again. "Look, I'm not mad at you, ok? I'm just frustrated at my situation, and I took it out on you guys. I'm sor-oof!" That was quick.

"Apology accepted!" She says from the hug-hold she has on me. She has the biggest smile on her beak and her tail is wagging. Yup, definitely real. I don't really know how to react in this scenario, as I'm not much of a 'touchy-feely' kind of person.

"Uh... thanks?" I say with an awkward smile. "So now that-"

"Now that we're best friends, there's SO much we need to do! I'll show you around town, and then we'll go to the school, and then-" Jeez, these guys love to ramble. I look over her shoulder to her friends for any sign of help. Gallus and Smolder glance at each other, before giving me a shrug with their claws. Sandbar and Yona are just trying not to laugh. Ocellus, on the other hand, looked the same as when I fist saw her this morning; full of excitement and anticipation. She had a bundle of really long paper (reminded me of scroll parchment) in one hoof Still have no idea how that works, and a large feather in the other. A quill? Where am I, Hogwarts? That would explain the mythical creatures... table that thought for later. It's at this point that I'm starting to get a headache. Right, she's still talking. "-then I'll introduce you to my parents! Can you breath underwammmph?" I wait until she stops talking, then I let go of her beak. I'm only mildly surprised to find out that it's just as tough as any other bird's. In the spur of the moment, I pat her head and give my best Shrek impression.

"That'll do Silvar, that'll do" She seems confused by my reference, but then decides to just relish in the feeling of my hand. Just like a big kitty. I go to move my hand away and she follows it with her head. When they separate, she looks genuinely saddened. Huh, she must really like physical affection. Maybe it's part of her culture?

I move past them and sit back down on the couch, next to my bag. They form a semi-circle around me and sit down on the floor. "Alright, I said it could wait till morning, so I guess you all should go first."

"What are you?" They asked in unison. That's my line. The fact that their first question is to ask me what I am, both relieves and uneases me. Relief from the fact that they clearly have no idea how I got here. Unease, because if they have never seen a human around here, then... Where is "here"?

"Human: species name being homo sapien" Ocellus writes down my response in two seconds. Then, she looks at me expectantly for my question. The others try to pronounce the word "human" and discuss how they have never heard of it before. "Where am I?" Just like with myself, they were suprised by the first question to be asked. They tilted their heads and gave each other side long glances.

"You don't know where you are?" Ocellus asks, hints of confusion and worry returning to her voice.

"I overheard Gallus, referring to some place called the "Everfree". Can I assume that's the name of the forrest we're in?" That only seemed to leave them in a greater state of bewilderment.

"If you don't even know what the Everfree is, how did you end up here?" asks Smolder. And there's the million dollar question.

"That's what I would like to know. I just woke up in that forrest after getting back home from my job. Where even is this place located?" I realized that knowing the name of the forest did nothing for my predicament.

Silver (now, not looking so down) answers. "We're a small hike east of Ponyville" she said in a matter that made it sound like that would answer all my questions.

"And that is... where?" I raise an eyebrow and roll my wrist in a "go on" gesture.

If I wasn't confusing them before, then now I have reached "you grew a second head". "It's the next stop heading south out of Canterlot..." Gallus tries to imitate my tone of voice with his statement. He's expecting that statement to ring a few bells. Instead of ringing bells, all I do is repeat my gesture.

I figured that the second head must now be speaking Spanish or something, based on the new looks I'm receiving. "It capital of Equestria." Yona states in her usual (borderline Neanderthal) tone of voice. Wherever I am must have a weird fascination with Equines. With fear crawling at the back of my mind, I repeat the gesture.

A third head has appeared and they are both Brazilian soccer commentators now. "The largest kingdom on Equis..." Smolder followed Gallus's lead with more confusion in her tone.

A heavy weight sits at the bottom of my stomach from her use of the word "on". "Is that... an island or something?" Please God, don't let it be what I think it is.

Much to my surprise, they all seem to think I just told a really bad dad joke... so a dad joke. However, at my unwavering expression, their confusion returns. Sandbar is the next to speak. "He IS joking, right?" The question was directed at Ocellus, who seemed to be at a loss for words. Is she just really good at reading faces?

"H-he's not!" A quintuplet of gasps, wide eyes, and open mouths made themselves known in the room.

Please no... "Can I get some context? Is this "Equis" place supposed to be well known?" Please...

"Well... I would hope so, considering it's the name of the planet." Ocellus seemed to still be struggling to form sentences.

Houston, we have a problem. It may have been cheesy, but I was fresh out of rational things to think today. So instead, I inhaled deeply and laid back on the couch. With my head facing the ceiling (similar in design to the bathroom), I exhaled. "Huh... stranded on an alien planet... neat" In hindsight, it seems pretty obvious (what with all the mis-matched stars and talking creatures) I was talking to myself, but the statement didn't go unnoticed.

"Wow, an actual alien! Awesome!" Smolder looks at me like I'm the coolest new toy on the market. Right... I'M the alien in this situation.

Not wanting to start another ramble, I speak my mind. "Look, can we please just do the one question thing? I'm trying my absolute best not to freak out at mythical beings that don't exist where I'm from." My face portrays a pleading look.

"Our species don't exist where you're from?" The ever knowledge hungry, Ocellus picks apart my plead for information.

"That's a complicated answer to give" I'd rather think about this Q and A, than the impossibilities of what's happening I look to the bovine and equine. "Assuming it's called the same thing here-" My own sentence gives me pause. "How we are even speaking the same language in the first place, in and of itself, is an anomaly, but regardless... I'm assuming that you're a pony and that you're a yak?" I say pointing to Sandbar and then Yona respectfully.

"Alien know yak and pony?" Asks said yak.

"Yes, however, ours are not sapient creatures like you or me. Basically, they're barn animals-now before you freak out!" I tac on, after seeing their looks of offense. "Let me reiterate, that they are completely different. They can't speak, they can't form rational thought, and they certainly don't look like you." I motion heavily to Sandbar. "The color palate of our pony's, only range from blacks, whites, browns, and faded yellows. Their muzzles are far more pronounced than your's. They can't rotate their limbs like I have seen you do. Unless that's some kind of tattoo, they don't have pictures on their flanks. The list goes on, really."

"They don't have cutie marks?" Sandbar seems to be struggling to picture this weird "long nose'd pony".

...because why wouldn't the ass tattoo be called a "cutie mark". Please tell me this isn't their version of a tramp stamp and he's some dangerously confused twink. One deep breath later. "Let's just get through this first question" I mumble while massaging my, caffein deprived, headache.

"What about the rest of us? You said that the answer was complicated." Silverstream relays her question while hopping up on the couch next to me.

"And that statement is especially true for you three." I nod my head towards the clawed individuals. Ocellus doesn't even acknowledge that I excluded her. She's too lost in the task of building her mountain of documentation. "Dragon, griffon, and hippogriff... correct?" They each give their own conformation to their respective species. "Simply put, you're all works of fiction from my world. The concept of your species exist in stories, but they're just that; stories."

"Well, at least we're not barn animals." Gallus tries to look on the bright side while smolder gives him a deadpan stare.

"Ohh! What about Ocellus?" Somehow, during my explanation, Silver's head ended up in my lap. My left hand was scratching behind her ear, without myself even realizing it. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't helping me relax, so I let her be.

At the mention of her name, Ocellus finally ceases her writing. "Which bring me to my next question." I lock eyes with her. "What ARE you, exactly?" With the attention directed towards her, she hides her face using the parchment. She'll question an alien all day with no worries. Have the conversation be about her and suddenly she's shy.

"I-I'm a changeling." That set off some red flags for me. In any connotation that I could remember, a changeling was used to steal the identity of another being. In other words A Shapeshifter.

"Hmmm. Since I'm five for five, can I assume you have the ability to mimic another creature's appearance?" She only nods in response. "Might I ask what you do with this ability?" My tone is neutral, but she sees the accusation it hides.

"Well it used to be our only method of feeding on love. B-but, now it's just a method for self defense!" She seems real adamant that I know they don't use it to eat. Wait, they FEED on love? File that one under "Totally Not Evil". Please, please, please tell me they're not Succubi.

"When you say FEED on love, what do you mean by that? Does that have anything to do with... hmmm" Right. Kids. "Uh quick side question: how old are all of you?" Giving "the talk" was not on my agenda today.

They state their ages as followed:

Sandbar and Yona at 15.

Gallus, Smolder, and Ocellus at 16.

Silver at 17.

Huh, older than I would of guessed. "I'll return the favor and say I'm 28. Now, back to my original question: does this "feeding" have anything to do with... mating with another species?" From what little I could see of her face, it was covered in a deep blush.

"S-some of my hive use'd to do that. But that's not how we survive. We simply feed off of the love one individual feels for another. Or... who they think is another I suppose." Now I'm lost.

"You get nutrients out of an emotion? So do you injest the chemical in their brain that stimulates it?" I must have been way off, due to her look of abject horror.

"N-NO! That sounds horrible!" She objects, somehow looking more green. "We use'd special glands that would allow us harvest love out of a... host's body via the magic that they naturally produce".

"...Another quick question: do you have anything with caffeine in it?"

"Uh, we got tea, why?" Asks smolder just as my right eye twitches.

"Could I trouble you for some?" My face stays expressionless.

"Suuuuuure?" She says with an uneasy look on her face and flies to a separate room. We sit in awkward silence for a few moments.

"Wh-" I cut Ocellus off with the raise of a finger. I stare at the wall with my jaw clenched. The sound of a flame thrower could be heard in the adjacent room, followed shortly by a high pitch whistle. Finally, the sound of china being arranged on a platter.

Silverstream raises from my lap and walks over to a different room. I note a distinct lack of a limp, which helps a fragment of my brain feel more at ease. She walks back around the corner caring a foldable table on her back. She sets the table down in front of me just as Smolder comes out with the tea set.

"Thank you very much", I politely tell her as she sets down the tray and Silver hops back on the couch. I pour myself a cup and take a tentative sip. I smile and let out a sigh as I continue to drink.

"I don't usually drink tea, but I must say that this is the best I have ever had". I smile down at the dragon while she blushes and averts her gaze.

"Uh, thanks or...whatever" She mumbles under her breath. Frankly, I din't care about what she said. I was simply enjoying the relieved pain in my skull. Placebo or otherwise, I was taking anything I could get at this point.

"You referred to this in the past tense. I assume there is a new method you use now?"

"Well, King Thorax recently discovered that if we willingly offer our own love to each other it creates a self sustaining cycle where we no longer need to feed on others". Magic exists, but the Law of Conservation of Mass/Energy doesn't? Her features darken and she stomps her hoof. "Before, it was a dark and terrible part of are past ruled by a tyrant who only wanted to rule Equestria. We made a vow to never again live like that" ...Well good for her, but still, the whole magic thing...

Don't think about it. Thinking hurts. Drink tea. "Your turn".

"Well... what is your diet? I noticed you have canines." At the mention of my non-herbivore teeth, the other beings on the floor, scooted further away from me.

"My species is omnivorous. We can eat just about anything except most grasses and flowers" I look towards Sandbar. "Can I assume that hay is an integral part of your diet?"

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"Horses and-"

"*Gasp!*"

"Oh what now?"

"You shouldn't say stuff like that!" Ocellus says with an angry expression on her face.

"...OK clearly the word "Horse" means something different here, so would you kindly explain to me what it is?"

Sandbar is the one to answer. "It refers to a mare who is... "open for business" with other stallions" Gallus tries to hold back his laughter while Smolder elbow him in the gut.

I nearly spit out my tea in realization. Not in embarrassment, but at the complete hilarity of the incident. I choke down my tea and slap my knee. "Oh, I needed that. HA!" Me and Gallus give out chuckles for different reasons.

"What is so funny?"

"Its just, he he, the word we use for that is called a "Whore". A "Horse" is just another animal from my world. As I was saying, equines were fead hay and other assorted grasses where I'm from. Which is not something us humans can consume".

"What kind of animal is... it?"

"Well, think about the ponies I described, but taller than me". Sandbar looks to the area above me in childlike wonder.

"Coooool"

"I'll also be upfront and say that cows, chickens, and pigs are some of the the most commonly consumed meats. Any of those sentient here?" I say in a joking matter.

"Just the cows"

"Wait, really? Just how many species speak around here?"

"I think somewhere around 20. Why? How many species are like that for your world?"

"It's just us. Nothing else reaches are intellect. Top of the food chain with no threat but ourselves" I say with pride.

"That sounds kinda lonely" Silver says with a saddened expression.

"Trust me, with a population of 8 billion, it's rather hard to be completely alone".

"8 BILLION?!!? You would have to be the most advanced and unified species to ever exist!" Ocellus's horn began to glow a faded blue while she was writing. Glowing a similar color, a separate quill and parchment began taking notes on their own. "It's levee-O-sah not levee-oh-saw". I know they already mentioned magic but... fuck me! The damn thing is writing on its own!

Ugh, hopefully this ends soon. "Advanced? Yes. Unified? Complicated."

"How advanced? How complicated?"

"We would be here all day if I tried to explain that. On a much more pressing matter, is there anyone I can talk to about getting back home? Not that you all are bad company, but I kinda have a family that's wondering wear I am." Also so I can find the one responsible for stranding me here in the first place. I had a lot of things to say and do to that individual that would not be pleasant for younger audiences.

"If there is anypony that can help, I'm sure its Princess Twighlight." Sandbar seems confident in his statement.

"Good idea. I know she would want to hear about this anyways." Ocellus states while writing on a fresh piece of paper.

"*sigh* Thank you. That's a huge relief knowing that there's someone who can help" There is only so much petting and tea can do.

"No problem. Smolder, would you?" She floats the sealed scroll over to her dragon friend. Said dragon douses the scroll in flames before it turns into sparkly smoke and flies out the window. You can't write this shit.

"So how long until-" *FLASH* A bright flash along with a sound I couldn't identify goes off near the door. I almost dive for my gun and cover before I see what made the noise.

Panting heavily with a frantic look, sits a new creature to add to the roster. Similar in bodily shape to Sandbar, I pin that this must be another type of pony. Unlike Sandbar however, this one stands at 4 ft even and has more feminine features to her face and hair. She sports a unicorn horn that parts her bangs and has a pair of wings on her back. Her coat is a "Light Wisteria" purple, with her horn and wings matching. Her main and tail (which are in complete disarray and filled with sticks and leaves) are "Astronaut" blue with a stripe of "Cerise" pink and "Seance" purple. Her "cutie mark" was of a pink six pointed star with 5 small white star surrounding it. Her eyes were a "Eminence" purple.

Riding on her back was another dragon holding the same note Smolder sent. Much more stout than Smolder, this one seemed to be only 3 ft tall. Based on the difference in eye shape, I labeled him as male. His scales matched the same shade of purple as the pony's. He had a "Tusk" green underbelly with "Sulu" green frills. Finally, his spines were pastel green. The eyes appeared to be a multi-hued arrangement of greens.

I look to her horn and notice that it is glowing in a similar fashion to Ocellus's. To the right of her head, suspended in the same aura, floats-

"My shoe!"

Author's Note

As always, there is a lot that can be discussed here, both about the story and the schedule. Any and all questions about either I would be happy to answer. Hope it was worth the wait... probably not, ain't gonna lie.

Chapter 3

"Uh, Twighlight? That doesn't look like any human I've seen" says the small dragon "discretely" into the mare's ear. They have my shoe and they at least know what a human is. They seem like my best chance at answers.

"Oh sweet Celestia. This shouldn't be possible, it isn't possible..." The princess has a both haunted and fascinated look as she sizes me up and down.

Ocellus adopts a smug expression while puffing out her chest. "Headmare Twighlight, this is David Sanderman and he's a-"

"Human..." Twighlight finishes her sentence without a beat, her expression unchanging. That seemed to take the wind out of the changeling's sails, her face resembling more "dumbfounded".

Years of training to control a short fuse led me to this moment. Reaching over and grabbing my pistol, I stand from the couch. Twighlight's eyes shrink to pinpricks as I rise to my full height. In my peripheral, I see the curious and innocent eyes of five teenagers. Better make this private, but how to keep the kids occupied... I look to my bag and come up with an idea that douses the flames of anger in an instant. I give a quick glance to her, to let her know that I am still (very much) aware of her presence, before reaching down and retrieving my laptop.

I remain crouched and beckon the young group closer to whisper. "Want to see one of my favorite... stories from my world?" Showing them all the things my laptop is capable of could (damn near) turn into my life. However, watching one of the greatest trilogies ever made will bide me time to get some answers. They agree to this without hesitation. Pulling up my downloaded file of the "Back to the Future" trilogy, I lay down the ground rules. "Alright, but only under a few conditions". They seem skeptical, but still nod their heads in agreement. "The first is that you hold all questions about what this is and what you are about to see until you at least finish the first part. The second is that you treat this very delicately. I can't fix this if it breaks. Can you promise me that?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye-ow!" All five of them repeated the phrase in unison. Similarly, they crossed their chests before pressing a hoof/claw against their eye. Oh, it's like an oath. However, in her excitement for more knowledge, Ocellus seemed to of rammed her hoof into her... well ocellus. That gave her a slight blush while her friends chuckled at her antics. Even I couldn't help but smile at that and decided to give her ears a little scratch. Just like with Silverstream, she absolutely loved the affection and leaned into my touch. Even though they're sentient, they still act a lot like animals. Interesting.

"Alright so, to pause you hit-" I go on to show them the various controls for the movie like volume, rewind, etc... "Now because the keys are so small, it would best if only the two of you with claws could handle this." As soon as I said this, Ocellus erupted in spiraling blue flames that matched her body color.

"Shit!" Thinking it was some kind of explosion, I immediately drop to the ground and cover my neck. I wait to feel the heat, the shrapnel, the sound, the screams,... but, it never came.

"Hehe, probably should of warned you about that" The nervous sounding Ocellus explains. It could have been the fear or the fact that I'm on the floor, but it sounded as though her voice was coming from a higher elevation. My hatred for my predicament returned with full force. Spontaneous combustion. Completely normal thing to happen to someone. FUCK THIS GODAMN PLANET!!! Angry as I was at the world, I also felt the anger a parent feels for their child if they do something dangerous. The anger for making them worry so much. I genuinely didn't know if my mind could take watching one of the kids explode. It definitely would have been the thing to tip me over the edge into actual insanity.

But then I remembered that a being that could change appearances in a world full of magic was speaking to me. I look up to a sight that I had no right being surprised about. "Ocellus?". Before me, stood yet another female dragon. Even excluding the horns, she easily stood at 5 ft. tall, making her the second tallest in the room. Her primary scales were a "Tacha" brown (very similar to coffee with cream), while her underbelly/underwings/snout were "Corn Field" yellow. Unlike Smolder, this dragon seemed to have actual hair and not just head spines. It was a "Raw Sienna" orange and long enough for her to curl around her claw while below her snout in a shy manner. Said snout was more angular than Smolder's, with her nose having a pronounced horn that pointed upwards. Her tail spine was longer and two-toned, a wave pattern separated the colors. "Luxor Gold" brown made up the top half while the bottom matched her surface scales. The horns were located towards the back of her head and slightly on top. They spiraled upwards before pointing right behind her in a sort of "boomerang" shape. Oddly enough, they were colored how you would expect a pair of horns to look like on an ordinary animal like a ram or bull ("Verdigris" brown). Additionally, she had a pair of ears that somewhat resembled an equines, however, they angled downwards and were exceptionally longer. The eyes, while still freakishly large, were more of a semicircle than the perfectly round eyes of the rest of the beings. This proved to give her a greater sense of femininity which was a stark contrast to her pointed jaw line. Much more akin to the predator she represents, her pupils were very small. They were colored in hue's of amber/orange's. Held against her chest, was my laptop. Must of dropped it when I thought I was about to die. "...Nice catch."

"I made sure to treat it very delicately like you said. Can we go watch the story now?" She was on the verge of exploding with anticipation, a trait shared by her friends who were still looking on in wonder at the device that rivaled anything that they thought was possible.

The only thing I could do was laugh, "Ha! Alright I won't keep you. Oh! Before I forget, when you start to see a bunch of dials, make sure the volume isn't too loud." I have no idea if they heard me or not. The only response I got was the sound of a door being slammed shut from the second floor.

I dusted myself off and pocketed my pistol properly. "Heh, kids" I smile while shaking my head. Childhood wonder is universal I guess.

The sound of hysteric muttering and frantic scritching, has become more apparent now that room is short five energetic teens. Looking towards the source shows something that only furthers my annoyance. The unidentified breed of pony hasn't exactly been doing nothing while I was busy.

In the span of the not even 10 minutes she had been here, this one apparently called Twighlight has made herself a literal fortress of journals that only continues to grow taller. Before, she was only levitating my shoe. Now, a variety of note taking equipment orbits her in her own little solar system. Where Ocellus was able to amaze me by writing a single letter, Twilight ups the anny by doing it tenfold... literally. Hold's a very high level of multitask/concentration abilities, noted.

However impressive her brain power might be, I immediately noticed a down side to it. It seemed that in order to achieve what she was doing, she needed to tune out the rest of the world. Her eyes would not so much as flinch from the movement I nor her dragon companion made. Likewise, the same outcome came in regards to sound and her ears.

I didn't exactly find it "welcoming" to not be acknowledged and instead treated as the center of an examination.

Perspective change: 3rd person

Twilight Sparkle could hardly contain herself. A limitless amount of knowledge and research potential was right at her hooves and she barley scratched the surface. Not only did a human somehow manage to enter their world, but they also managed to bring with them their glorious technology. The same technology that she only briefly had interactions with and did not get the chance to further study during her short ventures through the mirror portal. Additionally, this one looked nothing like the ones she had encountered. While certainly not what she was expecting from her tests, she wasn't going to pass up the chance to-

Spike, who at the this point was trying to survive the flood of papers, was the first to notice the drastic change in the rooms atmosphere from the chill that ran up his spine. Glancing to center of the room, caused the drake to nearly wet himself. "Twa-twa-twa-twi?" he stuttered through shaking body. Poking the mare next to him at as fast a rate that his shaky claw would allow.

-Future generations would always "ow" remember her name "ow" as the mare who led Equestria, "OW" no, Equis into a bright new age! "OW! FOR BUCK'S SAKE SPIKE WH-GAHHH!" Just like that, the whirlwind of magic that had been circling the pony, came to an abrupt stop. The items that had been floating were sent sailing in whatever direction their momentum carried them. Twilight, meanwhile was left clutching her head from the intense headache that rattled her skull. It was as if her magic was forced to stop. When the pain subsided enough for her to open her eyes, she was left staring at pair of legs. Which traveled up to a torso. From that torso an arm was holding on to the shoe she had brought. On the shoulder of that arm sat...

{Brief background music (play until 0:28)}

...Rage.

Perspective change: 1rst person

I bend over so that our eyes are level. My focus never wavers from her and her me. I hold the shoe right in her face and speak. "Where did you get this and how do you know about humans?" My tone implies that I want answers and I want them now. Despite this, she decides to play the introduction game.

With a shake of her head and the mask of a politician, "Greetings, my name is Twilight Sparkle, princess of-"

"I don't care who or what you are" That really took the wind out of her sails. "Answer the questions".

This seemed to get a rise out of the dragon more than anything. "Hey! No one talks to Twilight like that!" He took a defensive stance between me and the pony. His tiny wings were outstretched and his chest was puffed. Judging by his shorter stature and squeaky voice, I figured that he likely was more adolescent than even Smolder. I had to admit, the little guy had some stones to challenge me like that. I admired that. I really did. But at the same time, he also had mentioned humans.

I look down at him, "Watch your tongue boy". He shakes like a leaf, but doesn't back down.

"Spike? Why don't you go check on the students? Ocellus mentioned a lot happened last night."

Reluctantly, this one named Spike, takes off for the same room the others left for. Which, leaves me with the being of my interest... who somehow has another set of notes ready to be taken down. My anger was temporarily subdued from astonishment at the sheer gall of this bitch.

"Seriously? I'm right fucking here!" She jumps a little at my outburst and at least has the decency to seem embarrassed.

In this moment of subdued rage, something Ocellus had mentioned earlier comes to mind. PRINCESS Twilight... awe hell Having an entire kingdom after me was the last thing I needed. "*Sigh* I would greatly appreciate it if you could tell me what you know. I am very lost and very confused; I just want to go home". It was subtle, but I swore she flinched when I mentioned 'home'.

"Yes, I suppose that's only rational to want answers in your position." Silently, we make our way towards the couch. I retake my position while she grabs a throw pillow to sit on in front of me. "*Ahem* When my assistant mentioned humans earlier, he stated that you didn't really resemble any he had seen before and I'm inclined to agree with him."

"In what what way exactly? How, when, and where did you encounter humans?" I hunched over, putting my elbows on my knees. This put us more at eye level.

"Well there was this mirror and *ugh* it's a long story"

"Just give me the spark notes then"

"*sigh* Shortly after I ascended, my crown was stolen by... wait, I never said my last name" She's acting like I'm the one who is being interrogated now?

"How is that relevant?"

"Because! How could you have possibly known it then!?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask almost pleadingly while massaging my returning migraine.

"You said to give you the spark notes!"

I put two and two together, "Oh, Spark is related to your name, I see. No, spark notes is just a way of saying 'give me a brief summary' of something"

"Well,... it's Sparkle, but that was still an odd coincidence"

"Your story...?' Hand, meet head.

"Right, sorry. Shortly after I ascended to being a princess, my crown was stolen by one of my mentors former students. She had disappeared a few years prior and was never heard from since. I followed her through an old mirror in the castle and the next thing I know I'm turned into a human and I'm in an entirely different universe!"

"Wait, you mean to tell me that not only have you proven the Infinite Universe Theory, you actually CROSSED over to another one safely?!" Eat your heart out Neil Degrasse Tyson.

"Is that what your kind call it? We called it the Pondara Dimension Theory"

"So... if I'm following correctly, I'm not actually on a different planet, just in a different universe?"

"Essentially, yes"

"And the differences you mentioned?"

"Well the most relevant differences would be the dimensions of the head and eyes. The eyes actually were the same as a pony's when it came to their size, shape, and color. Yours are smaller and seem more... predatory in nature" she states with a slight grimace.

"I'll take that as a compliment for my species. That dragon that was with you, he went in as well?"

"Spike? Yes, although he turned into a dog on the other side"

"Ok, that answers how you two both know about humans. *sigh*" I slouch over more to look at the ground, "Sorry about being so rude to the both of you earlier. It's just that you were the only ones that knew about em so I kinda just assumed that you... I don't know, abducted me or something."

"..." Her silence unease's me and I glance upwards.

Ears splayed backwards, fidgeting hooves/wings, and eyes looking anywhere but towards myself.

"Oh my God"

"It was an accident!"

"HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAP SOMEONE!?!?!" I quickly glance at the room with the kids in it, before returning my glare.

"This shouldn't of happened! The magic in your body should've prevented the spell from grabbing anything attached to you!"

"...I...what?"

"The spell I used to gather samples was supposed to scan for life forms within a hundred hooves, using their naturally produced magical signature, before taking the samples. That was supposed to prevent this situation from happening"

"Magic" doesn't exist where I'm from"

"Pfft, right, that's what the last humans said. Ahhh so naïve. You do have magic it just remains dormant in your body's due to generations of not being used"

"Oh? Prove it." I cross my arms with an unamused face.

She rolls her eyes. "Fine, I'll just change your magical aura so that it can be seen" Her horn lights up briefly before fizzling out shortly after. She looks up curiously before concentrating harder, only to get the same result. This continues a few more times until she is left panting on the floor.

I look down at her, "I'm waiting."

She looks up at me like I'm her science experiment again. Well I guess I technically am to her aren't I? She then gets up and starts trying to drag me off the couch with her hooves. "I got to get you to my lab, we have to run tests, I need to document-"

"What you need to do is let go of me" I say grabbing her hooves firmly, "Then you need to send me back home"

"Back? You break all known laws of magic! I HAVE to study you!"

"*Long inhale* Look, I'm trying to be civil and patient since you're royalty of a nation and my only way back, but let me be perfectly clear" I bring her close to me "I'm not asking. I will be going home to, at the very least, let my family know that I'm safe. Especially considering the fact that I just vanished out of thin air!" Her horn starts to light and just like last time it fizzles out. Which only makes her freak out more. "Now I'm not opposed to answering SOME questions AFTER I talk with my wife. I can respect the hunger to figure out the unknown, I wouldn't be human if I didn't. Does that work?" Her head nods rapidly. "Great, send me back" I let go of her hooves and she immediately vanishes before reappearing ten feet away from me.

"Right... back. No problem, I'll just use the same frequency, reverse the polarity and..." Her horn lights up and the tension in my body starts to leave me at the thought of finally- "*Thunk*" A rock. There is now a small rock between the two of us.

"...Is something supposed to happen?"

"Um, hold on let me try... *Plap*" Now there is a small pile of purple mud on top of the rock.

"You do know how to send me back, right?"

"Well, I've never had to before."

"But you can right?"

"Of course! It can't be that hard. *Poof*" Floating in front of her is a dusty tomb covered in chains. There is a padlock on the cover that looks as though its bar was blown clean off. "I'm sure Starswirl thought uuuuuuuuhhhf..." she trails off upon flipping to a particular page. Her eyes dart all over this page several times, as if hoping that she misread something.

I'm about to question her when she gets saved by the bell.

"That. Was. AWESOME!" With the tension being as thick as it was, I (quite literally) jumped out of my seat at the voice of the energetic dragon. Similarly, Twilight also freaked out by magic-tossing the book in the air before trying to grab at it with her hooves.

Time sure does fly when your repressing existential dread. A glance at my watch does show that an hour an a half has passed.

"When that lightning hit the tower!"

"Or when George punched Biff in the face!" The older dragon and griffon were easily the most animated out of the group when it came to describing their take on the movie.

Well aside from the obvious...

"How much of that was real? Can you travel through time? What were those self propelled carriages? How did that device-"

"Do all of you expect me to answer these questions as fast as you ask them?" That silences the nerd bug. "Technically, we have the technology to speed objects up to the point where they experience time distortion and thus are brought to the future" I make sure to emphasize my air quotes heavily. "As far as traveling to the past goes, we haven't discredited the possibility. However, we can't feasibly design a method that wouldn't break our known laws of science. In short, most of that movie is simply science fiction."

...(silence)

"And I thought you were the only one who could do that." Spike says to Twilight with an eye roll. After that ice breaker, both bug and pony return to documenting, while the rest go back to discussing the movie.

This leaves me time to get my thoughts in order. Alright, let's go over what happened. I "accidentally" get kidnapped by a princess from a different dimension that is inhabited by mythical fairytale creatures who are sentient and have magic. Shortly after arriving in the middle of a forest; I find a river, save five teenagers (who are also not human), trudge through said forest until I reach their giant crystalized tree house, and promptly pass out. I wake up, freak out, realize I haven't gone insane, almost rip the head off of said princess, and finally get the synopsis straight from the horse's mouth. Speaking of...

"Hey *clap, clap* stay with me here purple. You were about to send me back?"

"Huh, wha-Oh! Right, back... I... don't have the ingredients! Right! The number of materials required to open inter-dimensional wormholes is quite extensive after all."

"Ok well you're like the daughter of the rulers of this place right? So it shouldn't take that long for you to get everything you need right?"

"Uh right I'll just go and get those while you... Hey! Why don't you six show David here around town?"

"Around town? Just how long-"

"*Gasp* That's a great idea! Hey David, want to grab lunch? Our treat!" asked Silver.

I'm about to retort, when the sound of a few all nighters subsisting on nothing but coffee and granola bars makes itself known... via the sound of my stomach imitating bears in heat. "...If its not too much trouble..." What is this? A sitcom?

They laughed good-naturedly, but while they did so, Twilight whispered something in Smolder's ear. She responds by nodding, before the princess grabs her assistant and flashes out of the room. I immediately walk up to her. "Well? How long did she say it will take?" It's hard to keep the desperation out of my voice.

"She didn't. Just said that she'll keep me posted on her progress" she says shrugging.

"*sigh* That's reassuring" I mumble.

"Aye, think of it this way" says the blue bird "worrying about it won't help anything, right? So you might as well just let your new friends treat you to a good time on the town" he emphasizes by leaning back on his hind legs and throwing an arm around my shoulder. For a bunch of teens who almost died, they sure have a positive outlook on life

"Heh, we're friends now huh?"

"I mean yeah, you seem like a chill dude"

"Yona like David"

"You're fascinating!"

"You're so nice"

"You're pretty cool"

"...Just like that? We met like yesterday. We're practically still strangers to each other."

"So? A stranger is just a friend you haven't made yet" says the pink bird with her friends nodding in agreement.

"Alright, so where are we going-WOAH!" How I didn't manage to notice a yak sneak up behind me (much less put its head between my legs) still alludes me to this day.

"Yona tired of waiting. Yona need food NOW!" Alright I'm riding a yak now... oh! Hello door fra- *Thunk*

"ow" Bent over backwards on a yaks hump while it trots through a forrest, 0/10 stars would not recommend. From my new vantage I'm greeted with the sight of a few wincing faces and quick intakes of air through clenched teeth. Silver's (upside down) concerned look is the first to keep pace with the bovine butt.

"Are you alright?"

*Inhale* *Exhale* "Juuuuuust peachy"