Cadance, That's Not Love

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Romance, Anon, Second Person, Princess Cadance, Comedy
Length: 3132

Everyone knows that Cadance is the "Princess of Love." You have a few issues with that.

After you suddenly appeared in the Crystal Empire one day, Princess Cadance personally saw to it that you were taken care of as you adjusted to your new life. She's been a great friend to you, and thankful though you may be for everything she has done for you, you have a few hangups about the way the "Princess of Love" does things.

But unlike her subjects, you aren't afraid to voice these concerns.

Published 2023-06-08 23:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-06-08 23:50:00 UTC

Cadance, That's Not Love

Author's Note

This story takes place in an AU where Cadance and Shining Armor never fell in love. Everything else is just like it is in the show.

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!

Cadance, That's Not Love

"Good morning, princess!"

"Good morning!"

"You're looking radiant today, princess!"

"Oh, thank you!"

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, better known as Princess Cadance, walks alongside the busy streets of the Crystal Empire on a beautiful Sunday morning. She is the ruler of this empire, and it's clear to see that she is adored by her crystal pony subjects. She is greeted by many of said subjects on her walk, and she happily greets them in kind. Meanwhile, a strange creature walks by her side. The creature is tall and bipedal, lacking any sort of fur. That said, it is well dressed and appears well behaved. That doesn't stop many of the crystal ponies from being terrified of it, though.

That creature goes by the name of Anon. That creature is known as a human, the only one of his kind in this world. That creature is you.

And that creature is often considered Cadance's "pet project." In fact, some just consider you her pet. It's extremely degrading, but the two of you know better. About a year ago, you woke up from a daze face down in the snow, very nearly frozen solid. It wasn't until a patrol of crystal guardponies happened upon your barely-conscious body that you were rescued. The ponies didn't really know what you were or what to do with you, so they brought you to the Crystal Castle, where you came face-to-face with the Crystal Empire's ruler, Cadance. Luckily for you, Cadance is extremely kind, and she personally saw to it that your wounds were treated and that you made a full recovery. Following that, you spent a great deal of time with her trying to figure out where you were and how you got there. With some help from a few of Cadance's friends from Equestria, you found that your sudden appearance was due to an extremely rare magical phenomenon that can't really be replicated. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And to make matters worse, there is no known way to send you back. So, you were stuck in this strange world filled with candy-colored ponies indefinitely. But hey, it's not all bad. Cadance invited you to live in the castle with her, and seeing as how she is your best friend in this new world, you gratefully accepted. After you became a bit more acquainted with this world and its customs, she decided to employ you as her "human advisor." You know darn well that she just made that title up, but it's nice to have a job regardless. It's basically just the role of an advisor, but with a bit more grandiosity. You're more or less her right hand man, though she rarely actually needs you. Turns out, with Equestria and the Crystal Empire being the way they are, there aren't actually all that many political conflicts that need to be resolved. Just a lot of paperwork. Like a lot of paperwork. Like a completely unreasonable amount of paperwork.

But hey, at least you're employed.

Plus, you enjoy the company, and you're pretty sure she does too. Although her subjects love her and greet her on her walks, very few of them are willing to actually have a conversation with her. It's like they're afraid of her status, or the fact that she's an alicorn or something. When you realized that, it suddenly made much more sense as to why she was so eager and willing to talk to you, and why she keeps you close by at almost all times. It's... nice. She's a great conversationalist, and the two of you never run out of things to talk about. Plus she has these big, pretty, purple eyes that you just get lost in.

...

You shake your head. You've been having thoughts like that a lot lately. You have a hunch as to why, and you're not sure you like it. In fact, for as much as you like being around her and appreciate everything she has done for you, there is one thing that really, really bugs you about Cadance.

"We can't just pack up everything and move to Manehattan! Are you crazy?!"

"Honey, you know I need this promotion. How else are we going to be able to keep supporting the kids?"

"How is uprooting their lives to go to one of the most dangerous places in Equestria 'supporting' them?!"

A young crystal pony couple is arguing at a nearby table, both seemingly ignoring their freshly made breakfasts sitting in front of them. Neither of them have noticed the princess and human walking by on the opposite side of the street. Cadance looks at the couple, then she looks to you and gives you a playful smile before whispering to you.

"Watch this."

Cadance's horn gently glows for just a moment before a few small, magical hearts appear out of thin air. After a moment, one snaps in two and gently floats over to the arguing couple who seem to not notice it. After each half drifts behind one of their heads, the two halves shoot towards each other, and the arguing immediately dies down. In fact, the couple look at each other like lovestruck fools, blushing and mumbling to themselves before-

Okay you're gonna look away from that.

"Hmhm. I always love doing that."

"Y-yeah, you... you sure did... do something."

You see, Cadance actually has one other title. She is known as the "Princess of Love," and that title doesn't come from nothing. She has the uncanny ability to spread love wherever she goes, and she knows a few secret spells that allow her to influence the love of others, like the one you just saw. To most, her work is borderline miraculous, and she is revered for it. To you, though... it just seems wrong, even if your annoyance with it just makes you that much more attracted to her.

...There's another one of those darn thoughts.

"Anon? Is something the matter?"

The two of you have been walking for some time, and you only just noticed that you've been so lost in thought that you haven't said anything since coming across that couple. She's looking at you with concern in those beautiful eyes of hers.

"Wh-who, me? Pssh, naw. We're all good."

She narrows her eyes at you.

"That was the least convincing lie you've ever told. And you're really bad at lying."

"Ehehe..."

"Come on. Out with it."

She stops walking to pull you into a nearby alley that's much more quiet and private than the street. Granted, because the Crystal Empire is... well, the Crystal Empire, it's still pretty bright back here.

"I just... I wonder about that spell you cast earlier."

"Hm? My love spell? What's wrong with it?"

"I can't help but think that it's... you know... immoral."

"...Huh?"

She tilts her head at you, looking completely lost.

"W-well, it just seems like you're... you know... depriving those ponies of their free will."

You practically mumbled that last part. You aren't exactly afraid of confronting Cadance about this, you're just not sure if it's possible to word it in a delicate manner. Sure enough, it looks like her confusion only grows, and she looks at you with a bit of disbelief.

"I... well, that is... can you explain what you mean?"

You sigh. There is no way this is going to come out right, but here goes nothing.

"It sounded like those ponies were having a really important discussion. Sure, your spell made them stop arguing, but like... to what end? Sure, they aren't arguing now, but they also didn't really come to a decision."

"It's not like I prevented them from making a decision. They will simply come to an agreement as lovers instead of enemies."

"That's the thing, Cadance. I don't think 'enemies' is an appropriate term to use."

"Oh? They sure looked like it to me."

"Well to me, they just looked like any other couple. They had differing opinions on something important, so that led to a heated discussion. That's just... something couples do. It's natural. It's healthy."

"How is fighting healthy?"

"That's how couples grow, Cadance. They say that they'll stick together through thick and thin, and then when they're faced with conflict, their relationship may get strained. Then, they face that conflict together and overcome it, emerging on the other side stronger for it. Disagreements are just a part of that process."

"Well, what if the disagreement causes them to split? To lose the love they had between them?"

"As cruel as it is for me to say this, I think that would imply that their relationship was doomed to fail regardless. Even if you intervened today, they might just argue again tomorrow and the same thing could happen."

"That sounds like a terrible mentality to have. Like, 'why enjoy today when tomorrow might suck?'" She uses a fake deeper voice to imitate you for that last part, and it's adorable.

"That's not really what I mean, though. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you need to interfere in a relationship, then I can't help but question the validity of the love in said relationship."

"..." She looks at you silently for a moment before closing her eyes. She's clearly deep in thought, and it occurs to you that she has probably never had a conversation like this before. Even if somepony else thought the same things you are thinking, they likely wouldn't dare actually voice those thoughts to Cadance herself. You start to feel a growing anxiety in your gut. Was bringing this up really the right call? "...I appreciate the input, Anon. Your opinion is invaluable to me, after all."

"...Sorry if I overstepped there."

"Nonono, I'm being completely earnest here!" She looks at you with genuine concern and gives you a little smile. Unease is clearly visible on her face. "You're my human advisor, after all. I value whatever advice you have to give."

"Then, what's your opinion?"

"To be honest... I'm not sure. You've certainly given me something to think about."

"You've really never considered that?"

"To be honest, no. Heh..." She rubs her front right leg with her left hoof and looks away, a slight blush barely visible on her pink face. "There's uh, a bit of dissonance between myself and the ponies I use my magic on."

"How so?"

She sighs, still avoiding your gaze as she does. You're extremely tempted to just bend over and hug the daylights out of her, but you know better.

"Even though everypony calls me the 'Princess of Love,' I've... never actually been in love myself."

"Wait, really?"

She's quiet for a moment and seemingly getting even more desperate to avoid eye contact with you.

"...Well, I've never had my love reciprocated, at least."

Oh. So that's what this is about.

"And let me guess. You use your magic to make sure other ponies don't go through the same pain that you did.

"Heh, only recently. But... yeah."

"Recently? What changed?"

"..."

"...Ooooooooooh, Cadance has a crush!"

She grows redder as you playfully nudge her in the side. You're acting playful and upbeat with her, but in truth, it cuts you deep to hear her say that. You know exactly why that is, and you have a sinking feeling that's about to become relevant.

"Don't tease me, Anon, it hurts enough as-is."

Ah, shoot. She sounds genuinely upset by that. You drop the playfulness and kneel down to face her at eye-level, though she still avoids looking directly at you.

"I'm sorry. To tell you the truth... I've been there."

"You... you have?"

"I did have a life before ending up in the Empire. And yeah. Heck, I've had unreciprocated feelings a couple of times now, actually."

"Really? You?"

"Yup. Believe it or not, I wasn't exactly popular among humans. Fairly average, actually."

She giggles, though the blush doesn't leave her face. Finally, she looks you in the eyes once more, a slight smile on her lips.

"I do find that hard to believe. I can't imagine anypony turning you down. You're quite lovely, Anon."

"I could say the same about you. You're an alicorn princess, you're super fun to be around, and you're beautiful to boot. I mean, who would turn down you?!"

You probably said way too much there, but it's too late to take it back now.

"...Can I confess something to you, Anon?"

"Always. My ears are always open and my lips are always sealed."

She once again breaks eye contact with you.

"I... I used my magic on him. You know, to get him to fall in love with me."

"O-oh?"

"...It didn't work."

"Wait, weren't you the one defending your magic's effectiveness?"

She nods her head.

"It's the only time my spell has ever failed. I still don't know why it did, but I figured that if even my love magic couldn't make him like me back, then... it just wasn't meant to be."

This time you're the one who sighs, closing your eyes as you do so before looking at her with a determined expression. She continues avoiding your gaze, though.

"How would you have felt if it did work?"

"I've been wondering that myself. Would I be happy that he actually loved me, or would it feel strange because I coerced him into it? I just... don't know."

"Cadance." You gently cup her head in both hands, turning her to finally look at you. She does, and the growing concern on her face is palpable. "That's not love. You know that."

Although she doesn't turn away, she does close her eyes. You see the faint glimmer of tears beginning to form in the corners of those beautiful eyes.

"...I know. You're right."

"You know what you need to do, right?"

"..."

She begins sobbing in your hands as her horn begins to glow once more. You feel a weight being lifted from your body as half of a magical heart floats out of your head and back into her horn. Meanwhile, the other half of that broken heart floats out of Cadance's own head and into her horn as well. Once the spell finally fades, she breaks down crying, and you catch her in your arms before she can collapse onto the pavement.

"I've got you."

You pull her in close as she nuzzles her head into your chest and cries. You wrap your arms around her, gently stroking her long mane as you give her time to calm down. Funnily enough, even though it feels as though a weight has been lifted from you, your feelings seem the same as before. As you look down at her crying form, you feel terrible for her. You want to comfort the beautiful mare, to tell her that everything is going to be alright, and that you'll always be there for her. You want to hold her and to do whatever you can to make her happy. You want to look into those beautiful eyes as they are free of tears and let her know how much she means to you.

And she didn't need a spell for you to want that.

After about ten minutes filled with a silence only broken by Cadance's sobs, she eventually composes herself enough to pull herself off of you, her mascara now running down her cheeks. She does her best to wipe it off as she gives you an awkward, apologetic look.

"So... you knew?"

"The whole time."

"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you get mad at me?"

"To be honest, I just couldn't bring myself to. Heh, for a while there, I thought that was because the spell did work."

"Is that why you didn't want me casting it on anypony else? Because of how cruel it was for you to not be able to do anything about it?"

"No, Cadance. Just the opposite."

"H-huh?"

"Cadance, I love you, too. Even now."

"H-HUH?!"

"I think I did even before you cast the spell. But, once you had cast the spell, I couldn't be sure of which thoughts were my own and which thoughts were a product of your magic. It... didn't feel very good. If I was going to be in love with you, I wanted it to be real."

"Anon..."

"After today, it's totally cool if you don't feel the same way anymore. But, if you still have feelings for me... I'll gladly reciprocate them. No magic necessary."

There's a moment of tense silence as Cadance looks at you with disbelief. Her pink, puffy eyes are finally locked onto your own, and she's as still as a statue. You simply look right back at her, an anxious grin on your face. You've said your piece. Now, one way or another, the relationship between the two of you is about to be forever changed.

...

Suddenly, Cadance throws herself forwards, wrapping her front legs around your neck and embracing you with her wings. Her head rests on your shoulder as you return the sudden gesture, wrapping your comparably much larger arms around her thin form.

"W-woah!"

"I love you, Anon. I love you so, so much. You're the only real companion I've ever had. The only pon... person, to ever see me as an equal. You're so open with me, you're not afraid to say what's on your mind, you're much funnier than you give yourself credit for, and I don't care what those other humans think, you are anything but average!"

She squeezes you a bit tighter, and you laugh as you do the same.

"I love you too, Cadance. No magic necessary."

As the two of you hold each other tight in that alley, you share an understanding that things are going to be a lot more complicated from now on. It's going to be quite a shock to the general public to hear who the princess is courting, and for your part, you'll have to start getting prepared for the responsibilities that come with being a princess's partner. Still, come what may, you know that the two of you are going to be just fine. Even if the mounting stresses lead to fights, or if you have disagreements on what the "Princess of Love" should be doing, or if the Crystal Empire is attacked by some heinous villain, you know that you'll be able to work through it. Together. After all...

That's what love is.