The snowflakes drifted down sticking to the ground, and made the already snow covered landscape that much more covered. Berry Punch let out a contented sigh. Roseluck’s gift was wrapped around her neck, keeping her nice and warm. It seemed silly, but she felt she had a piece of Roseluck with her where ever she went.

The first week without alcohol had been a nightmare. She knew withdraw was going to suck, but she might have underestimated the effects. At least that’s over with now. The only remaining annoyance was that every once in awhile she would get the urge for a drink. Usually when she felt anxious or stressed. More than once in the past month she found herself wanting to pour out a glass. Not that Roseluck left anything to pour. Nonetheless she had persevered, and maintained her sobriety.

She pulled out the small record player and an earbud. Once the track started playing she put the earbud in and let her thoughts drift.

Berry Punch liked the sound her hooves made as they crunched through the fresh snow. Last winter she had stayed inside and moped. Berry Punch frowned as the memories came back, but she pushed them away. They were unpleasant and unwanted. I can’t think of that.

Lately Berry Punch had been sleeping on her couch. Her room still felt unwelcome, despite it being clean. She knew she would have to tackle that issue soon, but for now she let it rest.

“Hellooooo!” A familiar voice called out.

Berry Punch smiled at the pleasant interruption from her thoughts. Minuette gingerly walked towards her, wearing a blue scarf of her own.

“How’s it going?”

In spite of the hiccup with Paint Spots, Berry Punch had enjoyed being around Minuette a lot. They had taken to working on projects together in her home. Berry Punch also suspected Minuette had ulterior motives, chief of which was how Berry Punch felt about Roseluck. She usually stuck to light teasing, and the occasional probing question. Like now.

“You seemed to be thinking about something.” She smirked. “I think I could guess who.”

Berry Punch blushed lightly. “Not really.” Which was the truth, but she didn’t want to divulge what she actually had been thinking about. Better left in the closet. “Where is she today, by the way?”

“She didn’t tell you?” Minuette thought for a moment. “You know about Lily, right?”

Berry Punch nodded. Minuette relaxed.

“Sorry, ever since Paint Spots I’ve been trying to reign myself in. I can be a bit too talkative.” Minuette shook her head. “Anyway, they’re remembering her today. She might’ve forgotten to tell you.”

“Oh.” Ever since she knew Lily had passed the topic hadn’t come up with Roseluck. “Is she okay?”

“It depends. I’m now sure how she’s feeling this year. Usually they have a ceremony in the morning then Roseluck spends the rest of the day at home.”

“Have you tried to visit her?”

“No, um, she usually doesn’t want me around today.”

“Why?” That doesn’t sound like her.

“That came out wrong. She doesn’t want to see anypony today usually. I give her space today, and we usually meet up the day after.”

“Maybe I should check on her.”

Minuette looked apprehensive.

“I don’t know. Are you sure?”

“I am. She’s done a lot for me. It’s the least I could do.”

Minuette smiled.

“I see. Well, good luck. Don’t push her too far. If she wants space, leave her be, okay?” Minuette took on an uncharacteristically stern face.

“I understand.”

Her expression settled into a smile again.

“Alright, I’ll see you later. Let me know if it goes well or not.”

The two exchanged goodbyes before Berry Punch went on her way.

As she approached Roseluck’s house, Berry Punch stopped and took her earbud out. She clicked the record player off, and put the earbud away alongside it. She took a moment to center herself. She didn’t know what mood Roseluck would be in. She didn’t know what to expect. All she knew was that she cared for her, and wanted to make sure she was okay.

Berry Punch touched her scarf.

Inhale.

Exhale.

With her nerves as calm as she could get them, she approached the door and knocked.

At first there was no response. Berry Punch held back on knocking again. She needed to be patient.

She heard the click of the lock, and then the door gently cracked open.

“Berry Punch?”

For her part, Berry Punch couldn’t really speak. She had never seen Roseluck disheveled before. She had bags under her eyes, and her mane was messy. The normal spark in her eye was dulled. Say something! Don’t just stand there!

“I heard from Minuette what today was. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Berry Punch hesitated. “Are you?”

“No.”

“Do you want somepony to talk to?”

Roseluck cracked the door open fully, and walked back into the house.

Accepting the nonverbal answer, Berry Punch followed the mare into her home. She shut the door behind her before she entered the living room.

Roseluck was sitting on the couch with a photo album front of her.

Berry Punch sat next to her, but maintained a space between her and Roseluck. She didn’t know what she was thinking.

Roseluck flipped to the next page. Pictures of her, Lily, and Daisy were spread across the page.

“How’s your day been?” The unexpected question threw Berry Punch for a loop.

“It’s been okay. I was on a walk when I ran into Minuette. That’s about it.” She hesitated. “What about you? Do you always remember her at this time of year?”

“It’s her birthday today.” Roseluck sagged. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been over this by now. Every year I think, maybe, this time. This time I can handle it better, but no. Even after all these years I can’t help but think it’s my fault.”

She reached forward and tapped one of the pictures of Lily.

“It’s foalish to think she could be out there, right? I know she’s gone, I… I found her after all. I guess pretending is easier than facing it.” Roseluck closed her eyes and leaned against Berry Punch. She whispered so faintly Berry Punch could barely pick it up. “So much blood.”

“Blood?”

Roseluck stiffened.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to hear that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Are you sure you want to listen?”

“I’m sure. Listening is the least I can do, after everything you’ve done for me.”

Roseluck was quiet for a long time. She stared out the window and avoided eye contact. The uncomfortable silence was broken after a couple minutes. Before she spoke she shifted position and laid on Berry Punch’s shoulder instead.

“I thought she was okay for a long time. I didn’t notice her lack of friends and seclusion. Whenever I asked she would answer the same thing, ‘I’m fine’. I just accepted it, blindly. I didn’t try. By the time I did notice it was far too late. She had already convinced herself she wasn’t worth anything.” Roseluck winced. “She pushed me and everypony else away. Either by ignoring us or saying something hurtful to make us go away. That last day I tried to reach out again—she used to live across from my bedroom—and I knocked on her door. But no answer. I got worried and broke open the door, but I was too late as usual.

“There she was on her bed, blood everywhere, her lifeless eyes staring at the ceiling. I still see them sometimes.” Roseluck had tears rolling from her eyes, but she sat up suddenly and wiped her tears away. “That’s why I knocked on your door, and why I stayed around. You answered the same thing. I could see the same look in your eyes.” Her eyes filled with a fiery passion. “I couldn’t let the same thing happen again. It was why I was worried when you disappeared in Manehatten. I thought...” She took a breath. “But, I wasn’t late that time, and I won’t be late the next time.” She put a hoof on Berry Punch’s cheek. “You mean a lot to me. I can’t lose you too.”

Berry Punch digested what she said. Something bugged her. It had been there since Paint Spot had forced the thought in her head. I’m not a replacement, right? She didn’t want to be rude. I have to know.

“Hey, Roseluck?”

“Yes?”

“Do you… do you think of me like Lily?”

The question hung in the air.

“At first, yes,” Roseluck admitted. “I thought I could make up for what I didn’t do last time. I tried to find similarities where ever they existed. As I got to know you, I shifted my thinking. You’re not Lily. You’re yourself. It was unfair of me to box you in like that. You’re somepony else, somepony I care about a lot.”

“I’m sorry I brought it up, I just…” have feelings for you “…don’t want to be a stand in.”

“I understand, no need for an apology.” Roseluck fidgeted and got up. “Do you want to see Lily’s room? I need help with something.”

Berry Punch nodded and followed the mare out of the living room and down the hallway. Two doors were at the end, opposite to each other. Roseluck opened the door on the left and the two entered the room.

A clean and tidy room greeted them. A bed sat in the left corner of the room with a small bedside table. A lamp sat on top with a pile of opened letters. A fluffy, large spiral rug sat in the middle of the room. Two bookcases sat nearby a closet door. To the right of the door was a large table filled with maps and pieces of paper. Daring Do posters and various maps with circled places on them were pinned to the wall.

“She really liked Daring Do, huh?”

Roseluck chuckled.

“Yeah. It was her way of adventuring when she couldn’t find a way to leave.” She took on a more somber tone. “Those maps over there were her plans for adventures. She wanted to find flora and plants nopony had seen before. She just didn’t want to do it alone.”

“No one would go with her?”

“No. They didn’t find the idea of trudging through untamed wilderness fun. She did though. She loved going into the Everfree. It was the closest she had to getting what she wanted. Zecora and her used to be friends before she passed. I still try to talk to Zecora when I can, make sure she’s doing alright. I guess she’s doing better than me. I can’t even clean out this room. Daisy told me I should when I was ready, but I used that as an excuse to not do anything at all. I keep the room clean, but nothing else.”

Roseluck looked over at her.

“Do you mind helping me put everything away?”

The question was weighted with reluctance and anticipation. If anything, Roseluck seemed to be forcing herself to deal with her feelings now. Berry Punch found the sentiment endearing. She was also touched Roseluck trusted her enough to share this with her. The answer was clear.

“Of course.”

The two started at the bookshelf. Roseluck pulled out some boxes and they pulled down the books. Roseluck had small anecdotes about some of them.

“She loved pointing out plants in the Daring Do books.” Roseluck flipped open to one of the various bookmarked pages. The page had notes written in scratchy writing next to one of the flowers on the graphic. “She made it a point to research ones she didn’t recognize.”

“Oh! That’s her botany applications book.” Roseluck pointed to the one Berry Punch was holding. “She knew a lot more than I did about applications of plant use for alchemy than I did. Most of it went over my head, but she knew her stuff.”

The two continued in the relative quiet until the shelves were nearly empty.

“What’s this last one?” Berry Punch held up a blank, worn book.

Roseluck gently took the book and looked over it.

“No author markings, huh.”

She flipped open to the first page. Berry Punch watched as her expression morphed while she read over the words.

“It’s her journal.” She closed the book. “I’m not ready to read that.”

Berry Punch took the book and carefully set it alongside the rest of them in the box.

They then tackled the table covered in maps and paper.

“This is where she planned out places to go in the Everfree.” Roseluck picked up one map in particular. The date read early March. “She never got to go here. She died a couple of days before she was going to.”

Roseluck shakily put the map down. Berry Punch put a comforting hoof on her withers. They sat there looking over the plans for adventures that would never be. Before long they got back to packing away the maps and paper, and the desk was cleared off.

The rest of the packing went quickly. There wasn’t much else in the room. The posters were taken off the wall along with any pinned maps.

She looked over the room. It seemed… emptier. Roseluck seemed to have the same thoughts.

“It feels final.” She bit her lip. “I don’t like it.”

Berry Punch put a hoof on her withers.

“It takes time, right?”

Roseluck nodded.

“That’s what Daisy used to say. ‘You’ll make it there someday.’ That’s what she told me.” Roseluck sighed. “One day at a time.”

Berry Punch had an idea. She didn’t know if it would work, but she had to try.

“You said each plant has a song unique to both the plant and its gardener.”

“Yes.”

“Is that why you keep the lily flower in your garden, because it has a piece of her?”

Roseluck was quiet for a moment.

“It’s like I can hear her again. I think the worst part about someone you love being gone is forgetting their voice. What they sounded like, and how they talked.”

“Would you mind if I listened?”

Roseluck looked up in surprise, but it morphed into a small smile.

“No, not at all.”

She lead her out of the room and out into the garden in the backyard.

They walked up the lone lily flower at the end of the plants.

“You remember how, right?”

“I do, but I wouldn’t mind if you helped.”

Roseluck put her hoof alongside hers. Berry Punch let Roseluck take the lead. She felt herself pulled along the musical thread in the ground until she was met with a lone solo.

“Can you hear her?”

“I can.”

She was starting to learn how to separate the various instruments, so to speak, in the music. She recognized Roseluck as a gentle, but firm, strum. Then there was the plant’s variable hum. Between the two was another thread she didn’t recognize. It felt equine in nature, how she could tell she didn’t quite know.

This one was quick then slow, almost a waltz at times. There were moments of thunderous chords and then quiet, thoughtful notes. Berry Punch had never met Lily. She only knew about her through Roseluck, but this glimpse into something she poured her heart into gave her a better understanding of who she was. Even if it was only a small amount.

She wrapped her tail around Roseluck’s and leaned against her shoulder. The two sat in the quiet garden, listening to Lily’s song.

“How much do you want?” Roseluck asked as she poured out her own cup of hot chocolate.

“Full cup.”

Roseluck giggled. I really like when she laughs. Soundslike splashes of sunshine on a cloudy day.

“I thought so.”

The two had gone over to Berry Punch’s house. Roseluck brought along the hot chocolate despite Berry Punch assuring her she had some. She insisted on not ‘wasting’ Berry Punch’s stock.

She sat back and sipped from her cup. The snow swirled around outside before hitting the ground. Roseluck seemed to be happier, and that made Berry Punch feel happy. She had hoped to make Roseluck’s day better and she seemed to have succeeded.

“You know, I haven’t asked before, but how is your painting?” Roseluck asked. “I don’t think you’ve showed me.”

Berry Punch felt some lingering hesitation, but she pushed it away.

“I don’t have much, but I would mind showing you.”

Berry Punch took the lead to her painting room. The room was not as dusty as last time, and there was a covered painting in the center of the room. A few other paintings hung from the walls, or leaned against them.

As Berry Punch showed her the more standard paintings, more practice than anything, she didn’t notice the ‘Myself’ painting sitting out in the open until Roseluck pointed it out.

“When did you make that one?”

“Oh. I wasn’t in a good head space. That was when I first got here, I think. It’s hard to remember.” Berry Punch looked over at Roseluck with a small smile. “It’s fine, I didn’t make it recently. I forgot to get rid of it, but I’ll do that soon. It’s not me anymore.”

Roseluck looked thoughtfully at the painting.

“You know, you could keep it long enough for something.”

“What for?” Berry Punch tilted her head.

“Well, a redo, y’know? Re-paint over it with how you feel in the present. You don’t have to, but I think it would be nice.”

Berry Punch looked over the painting with new eyes. Yet again she surprises me. I can work on that next. She nodded to herself, already thinking out the details. Brighter color palette with some contrasting colors should do nicely.

“I like that idea.”

Roseluck cantered in place.

“I can’t wait to see it! Let me know when it’s done, okay?”

“I will.”

“Now are you going to tell me what’s hiding under the sheet?” Roseluck pointed to the covered painting.

“Something I’ve been working on for a couple weeks.”

Berry Punch pulled the sheet off revealing the painting.

Roseluck’s green eyes stared back at them, a smile on her face. She was sitting on the edge of a rocky beach, with an arching rock above her. The sun was setting in the background, sending oranges and reds flowing across the canvas.

“It’s not finished yet, there’s some things I’m not happy with, but what do you think?” Berry Punch nervously tapped her hoof.

“I think I’m amazed at this. It looks great!” Berry Punch noticed she looked flustered. “I didn’t think you would choose me to paint, honestly.”

“Why not? You’ve done a lot to help me.” Berry Punch hesitated. “I think I should do things for you too, you know?”

“It means a lot, I promise you.”

Berry Punch’s eyes glanced to the clock.

“It’s getting late,” Berry Punch said. “Don’t you have to go home?”

“I don’t have to. Besides I think I’ll stay here tonight.”

The two left the painting room, and settled down on the couch. The snow continued to fall outside, blanketing the ground, and filling in hoof prints. As the moon rose in the sky Berry Punch couldn’t help but feel happy.

“Sweet dreams, Berry Punch.”

“You too,” Berry Punch mumbled already slipping into a deep slumber.

Author's Note

This one should've been out two days ago, but I had some difficulty putting it together. As always leave your thoughts and corrections in the comments (if you have a long list of corrections, feel free to DM me the list! )