"I'm sorry!" Berry Punch said nervously. Great, first time here, and I've already messed up. Pay attention! "I can help pick those up?" Berry Punch's shaky voice unintentionally turned the statement into a question. Damn nerves, calm down for a second. The peach mare flashed her a smile.

"Oh, you're fine. Besides," The mare's horn glowed a light yellow, and all the books floated up and were re-stacked in their original position, "Magic goes a long way. Now they should be fine, unless I'm bumped into again." She winked at Berry Punch who's only response was an embarrassed blush. "So, where were you off to?" Berry Punch pounced at the change in subject.

"I'm starting my next semester at Upper North," Berry Punch said.

"Really? That's interesting, I was just returning for my own spring semester there," the mare said. "Oh, my name's Paint Spots by the way. My friends just call me Spots." Paint Spots looked her up and down. “You’re a first year aren’t you?”

Berry Punch nodded. “I’m guessing you’re not?”

“Second year, but my program lasts for five years since my parents want me to have a shiny record when I graduate.” Paint Spots rolled her eyes. “I’m guessing you’re doing the traditional four years?”

“Yeah, it’s what my grant pays for.”

Paint Spots’ eyebrow raised in surprise.

“You have a four year grant?”

Berry Punch shuffled in place.

“Yeah, I won it senior year during an art competition. It’s nothing compared to what I’ve seen here though.”

“I bet. There’s a lot of talent here, that’s for sure.” Paint Spots peered at her mark. “Oh, your mark isn’t for painting.”

Berry Punch clammed up defensively.

“No. Is there a problem?”

Paint Spots shook her head.

“Not at all. It’s impressive, really. Hey, do you have any friends around here? Ponies aren’t mistreating you are they?”

Berry Punch shuffled in place.

“No… but they aren’t really talking to me either.”

Paint Spots frowned.

“That’s not right.” Paint Spots nodded to herself. “Look, I’ll be your friend. Everypony needs one. And, hey, I’ve been through your classes already. I can give you some heads up on some of the trickier course work.”

Berry Punch managed a smile.

“I’d like that.”

“It’s not a problem. Not at all.”

Berry Punch woke up in a panic. She frantically looked around the room, and expected to see her old apartment bedroom. Her Ponyville bedroom greeted her. She tried to get her breathing under control, but ever since Manehattan she had been more paranoid. Paint Spots had found her in the city, through Minuette she found her.

She had told Roseluck she was fine. She had lied. She was no where near fine. All her old memories had been stirred from the muck, and dredged to the forefront of her mind. She didn’t want to remember at all. She looked at the date today. Great.

Berry Punch pulled out a bottle from below her bed.

“Happy birthday to me, I guess.”

The cork popped off the bottle.

What’s one bottle?
She fell back into the comfort of her vice, and wrapped herself in it’s confines.

“What’s a little money between friends?” Paint Spots winked before paying for her books.

“Thank you! I didn’t know how I was going to afford them since they’re outside the terms of my grant.”

“Not a problem, I like helping newer students. It’s nothing, my parents have plenty to spare.”

“Rich parents, huh?”

“You could say that, but I try not to let it influence me.”

“That’s good.”

“Hey, you look a little down. Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing. I can handle it.”

“Come on, we’re friends, you can tell me anything. I promise I won’t tell another soul.”

“Well, I…” Berry Punch mumbled the rest, embarrassed.

“I didn’t hear you.”

“I’m having trouble affording my apartment. I shouldn’t worry you about it, but the thought of it stresses me out.”

“I can’t stand for that.”

“What?”

“Look, I have an extra space you can use. I used to have a roommate, but, eh.” She made a face. “Didn’t work out.”

“You don’t have to do this. I can figure—”

“Berry Punch, listen. You’re my friend. I don’t want you stressing out about if you’re going to have a place to live in a weeks time. I have an extra room, you need a place to crash. It works out. And hey, you can always move out later when you get your hooves under you.”

“…”

“Think about it at least. The offer’s always open.”

Hoofsteps echoed down the hallway.

“Wait! I could use a temporary place to stay at.”

Paint Spots turned around and smiled.

“It works out then. Just let me know if you need help moving in. I have friends who can help too.”

Berry Punch nodded.

“Thank you, Paint Spots. You’re a good friend.”

“No problem. I have a feeling this’ll work out for both of us.”

Berry Punch ripped up the old picture of her and Paint Spots. Why did I even keep this? As a reminder of how stupid I was? She stared at the shredded image on the ground and the empty bottle beside it. It’s not enough. What’s another bottle at this point?

She pulled another one up from beneath the bed. She laid back on said bed and took swigs every now and again. Things were starting to feel warm, and her vision started to swim. At what point do these memories just stop? At what point will I just forget it all?

Berry Punch frantically pushed more into her saddlebags. She didn’t know when Paint Spots was coming home. There was only so much time left. She gritted her teeth than winced. The bruise on her face still hurt. She sniffled.

“Why am I so stupid? She won’t change.” She eyed the door nervously. “No time to think. Just pack.” She forced herself to prioritize. Wherever she went she could get back on her hooves again. At least my talent is worth something.

She double checked the contents, and found one item missing. My dad’s gift. She searched around the apartment, ripped off couch cushions, and looked under anything it could have fallen under.

She was so focused on the search for her dad’s gift that a click from the door caught her by surprise.

“So this is what you were doing behind my back?”

No. Her heart sank into her hooves. No… I was so close. Berry Punch didn’t bother to look back at her. The hopelessness had already seeped into her, and sapped her of strength. Paint Spots wrapped her hooves around her. She shivered at the unwanted physical contact.

“What were you thinking?” Her voice dripped with condescension. “Abandoning me? After all I’ve done for you? So selfish.”

She could hear Paint Spots dig something out of her saddlebags.

“Looking for this?”

Placed down in front of her was the wooden carving she was looking for. She knew. The whole time she knew. Paint Spots snatched the item away once she was sure Berry Punch saw it.

“Why?” She managed to choke out.

“Because I know better for you. Don’t you know that?” She forcefully turned Berry Punch’s head to face her. “Why would you throw everything away for one little mistake?”

“You hurt me.”

“I did, but I didn’t mean it. Next time I promise I’ll be better.” Paint Spots frowned. “I’ll apologize if you apologize for trying to leave first.” Her tone brokered no argument. Berry Punch nervously thought over the prospect. Paint Spots still had her Dad’s gift. She wouldn’t leave without it. That, and some part of her felt Paint Spots might keep her promise this time. It felt like a fool’s hope, but some hope to grasp to was more enticing than none.

She apologized.

She lied in return.

Her mind was in a haze as she laid on the floor. The ceiling was spinning in circles above her. A distant clink of bottles. A burning feeling in her throat. It was hard to know what had happened. She didn’t know when she ended up in the living room.

A distant noise was annoying her. Sounded like hammering a nail into a wall. Sure as Tartarus wasn’t helping her headache.

Something was bugging her, like the never ending repetitive noise in the background. Did she forget something? Berry Punch almost hoped she did, but some part of her felt guilty. Why? What was she supposed to feel guilty about? Her sluggish mind couldn’t grasp an answer, so she settled back into a meaningless haze. That was until her front door burst open.

“Berry Punch?” Said pony tried to move to figure out who was talking to her, and ask why they barged into her house. Berry Punch only managed to push herself up before she hit the ground again. A bunch of bottles were knocked to the side as she fell, creating a loud clattering noise. “What happened!?”

Berry Punch felt somepony pick her up.

“Are you okay? Can you hear me?”

She could, but responding was difficult. It was hard to breath much less speak. How much did I drink? How much… her thoughts trailed off as her eyelids closed.

“Hey! Don’t close your eyes. Berry Punch!”

The voice got more and more distant as she fell deeper into the sea of her mind.

The cold bit at her as she walked at a brisk pace through the snow. The train station was close, all she had to do was reach it. She kept her head on the swivel as she walked. She couldn’t possibly know. She can’t know.

The warm glow of the train station lights greeted her. She wouldn’t feel relief until she got her ticket and the train was leaving.

A bored ticket pony greeted her with a yawn.

“Do you have a ticket to present?”

“No. I want to buy one.”

“Where to?”

“Just give me the cheapest. I don’t care where.”

The pony gave her a strange look, but acquiesced with her request.

“Thank you.”

Berry Punch didn’t even read the place on the ticket, only the train number. Seven.

She went down the line until she found the train number. She had her ticket punched as she boarded. There was nopony else in the cabin with her. She set her saddlebags to the side and laid her head on the table.

As the train pulled from the station the cabin remained empty.

Something in her broke. Everything she had been holding back burst like a water from a crumbled dam. She didn’t know how long she sat and cried and babbled to herself. At times her voice would raise and she would be shouting, and other times her voice lowered to a defeated whisper.

By the end of the train ride she felt worn out. Her cheeks were tear-streaked and her voice was raw. She still didn’t know where it had taken her. She looked out the window. A small country-side town greeted her.

‘Welcome to Ponyville!’ a sign read.

She grabbed her saddlebags and departed the train.

“Here goes.”

She entered town. As she aimlessly wandered the streets she thought of what to do next. Maybe find a job first. Should’ve planned this out better. Maybe leaving wasn’t the best idea? She remembered the bruise on her cheek. No. I’ll make it work. Somehow.

“Hey. You seem lost. Are you?” The gruff voice didn’t inspire confidence.

Berry Punch turned to see a brown coated stallion behind her.

“Why are you asking?”

He sighed.

“Look, I don’t know what brought you here. I’m not fishing for anything. I’m asking because it’s six in the morning and you’re out here in the cold. This town’s close knit, and I ain’t seen you before. You’re either visiting somepony or lost. This ain’t exactly a tourist destination.”

The stallion’s sharp observation didn’t help her suspicion, but he was also right. She was lost in a way. There was no where for her to go here. She mentally sighed and conceded.

“I don’t have anywhere to go.”

He frowned.

“Nowhere?” He bit his lip in thought. “You know, that ain’t right. My place doesn’t have an extra room and the couch isn’t the best.” He snorted. “Buck it, I have an extra room upstairs at my business. Supposed to be an office, but I never use it on account of I have one at home. There’s a mattress you can use on an old frame. Should be comfy enough. Come on.”

He walked past her, and she was too stunned to follow.

Eventually he noticed she didn’t move, and looked back at her.

“Well, you gonna stand and gawk? Let’s get a move on. Day’s not getting any warmer.”

She shook herself out of her stupor, and caught up to him.

“Why?”

“I already told you. It ain’t right. You got no where to go, and I ain’t gonna let you freeze out here on account of that.”

She almost couldn’t believe her luck. He was a little prickly, but at least he was nice.

The door to the bar creaked open.

“You work at a bar?”

“I own the bar.” He chuckled dryly. “I guess you could say I also work here. Not that there’s anypony else to do it.”

“Nopony else works for you?”

“Nope! Nopony ‘round here has any talent for it. Besides me and the Apple family, but they have their own side business with alcoholic cider so no takers to work here. Why are you asking? Need a job?”

“You could say that.”

“We’ll talk about it later. For now,” he gestured to the stairs, “the room is up there. No guests can come up there, so you won’t be bothered.”

Berry Punch eyed the stairs.

“Does the door lock?”

“That it does.” He fished a key out of his saddlebags. “This is the key, so you can lock it when you’re not there or if you don’t want me up there.”

“You’re… really nice.”

“I’m just helping a pony in need.” His eyes had a wistful look in them. “I needed that once, and somepony helped me. I’m just returning the good will in turn.” His expression turned more serious. “Now don’t go spreading that around. I have a grumpy reputation to uphold. Keeps the rowdy ones in check around the establishment.”

Berry Punch nodded.

“I promise not to.”

“I’ll leave you to it. This place won’t open properly for a couple hours. The noise shouldn’t be too bad until later at night. I can see you’re tired, so get some rest. We can talk about that job later tonight once I close.”

“Thank you.”

“Nothing to it.”

Berry Punch walked up the stairs and entered the room. She locked the door behind her. True to his word, it was an old office with a desk and a couple chairs all shoved to the side of the wall. A bed was alongside the left wall with a thick blanket laid on top of it. Berry Punch hung her saddlebags on the bed post before she laid down and wrapped herself in the blankets.

For the first time in a long time she slept soundly.

Berry Punch sluggishly opened her eyes. Her head hurt. Everything hurt. She could feel an IV in her front right leg. She tried to sit up, but nausea forced her back down. She couldn’t remember getting here.

“Hi, Berry Punch.” Roseluck sniffled. “Happy birthday.” Oh no. No, no, no. She didn’t find me like that. Please don’t say she did. She wasn’t supposed to see.

When Roseluck didn’t add anything further the room lapsed into an uneasy quiet. Berry Punch found it difficult to meet her eyes, and opted to stare at the wall.

“I had set up a little surprise party for you,” Roseluck started. “It wasn’t much, just two close friends of mine and my mother. I came here to get you once it was all ready, but you wouldn’t answer the door.” Shakily Roseluck continued, “So I opened it and found you on the floor. Bottles everywhere. The room stank of alcohol. You tried to get up, but you fell. Then you wouldn’t respond, and your eyes closed. I didn’t know what to do, so I brought you to Ponyville Hospital.”

Berry Punch only wilted further as Roseluck talked. The pounding headache didn’t help her thought process, and she couldn’t manage even a meek ‘sorry’. Roseluck didn’t seem to take the lack of a response well.

“Are you going to say anything?” Her voice wavered. “Anything at all?”

Berry Punch looked away from her. She couldn’t look her in the eye. She couldn’t give her an answer. What could I say?

“Please say something.” The desperation in her voice wrenched at Berry Punch’s heart. How do I explain this away? Nothing popped up in her mind. Everything was sluggish and blank.

“Please.”

She wanted to say so much, but her mouth wouldn’t move.

Roseluck got up and quietly left the room.

The emptiness she left behind cut into Berry Punch, and hurt more than psychical pain. She couldn’t blame Paint Spots for this. This mess was all hers. What had Roseluck done to deserve this? Nothing. I hurt her. She deflated at the realization.

She remembered when Roseluck first knocked at her door. When she helped her patch up her wound. When she invited her over for tea, and confided in her about her sister. When Minuette and her took her out to the Summer Sun Celebration. When she helped her reconnect with her parents. Comforted her after Paint Spots. All that and more, and she returned the favor like this.

The guilt she felt festered and swelled. She hoped Roseluck would come back. She should have said something. She felt tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to the empty room.

The hours passed in a blur.

Once the nurses knew she was awake, she was informed her stomach was pumped, and she should expect to feel nauseous and dehydrated for some time. They were keeping her overnight to monitor her, and if nothing seemed out of the ordinary she would be discharged in the morning.

She stayed mute throughout the explanation.

“Can you talk? Are you feeling well?”

“Is… is Roseluck coming back?”

“I’m sure your friend will be back soon,” the nurse assured. “For now, relax. If you need any help just call out.”

Berry Punch dully nodded and laid back in her bed.

She didn’t know if Roseluck would come back. She messed up so badly, her friendship might just be damaged beyond repair. I bucked up. She stared at a point on the ceiling.

Her ears perked up at the sound of hoofsteps down the hall. She wasn’t sure it was Roseluck, but a dim hope was better than none.

She could hear Minuette’s voice and a nurse talking. She sank back in her bed. No Roseluck.

A moment later Minuette entered the room

“Oh, hey, you’re awake.” She smiled shakily. “I’m glad you’re okay. Um, I heard you passed out at your house earlier today.” It’s not Roseluck, but she’s still my friend.

“I did something stupid. How did you find out I was here?” Did Roseluck tell you?

Minuette pulled up a chair.

“Sour told me. Roseluck told him, I think.” Minuette shuffled uncomfortably. “Speaking of Roseluck, I haven’t seen her all day. Did she visit you?”

“She brought me here. Like I said I did something stupid.”

Minuette listened while Berry Punch explained what she could remember.

“Berry Punch… I don’t know what to say.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. I…” Minuette looked her in the eye. “You didn’t say anything? Nothing?”

“No, I didn’t know what to say.”

“It doesn’t matter, you still say something. She can’t read your mind!” Minuette took a breath. “I’m sorry, it’s just she found her. She found Lily on that day. Then she finds you like that. I can’t imagine what she’s feeling.” Before Berry Punch could speak up Minuette put her hoof over her mouth. “I know you’re hurting too, but that doesn’t give you a blank check to hurt somepony else. Even if it wasn’t intentional.” She leaned back.

The two sat in silence.

“I’m going to check on her. See if she’s doing alright. I’ll let you think about what I said.”

“Hey, Minuette?”

The blue mare paused at the doorway.

“Thank you for being honest.”

Her ear twitched and then she left the room.

Berry Punch thought over the short conversation. Some part of her wanted to lash out at the words. Another part took the words and examined them, digested them. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but I did. Then I hurt her again when I didn’t say anything. What a mess Berry Punch. What a mess.

At least I have some time to put together an apology.

As the time passed she tried a number of ways to apologize, but none of them felt genuine. In the end she decided to take a page from Minuette’s book. Be honest. Even if what I’m going to say will hurt me.

With her method figured out, she waited and hoped Roseluck would come back. Each hour that passed left her feeling more doubtful that she would return. At some point she started to doze off when a knock at her door woke her up.

“Are you awake, Berry Punch? You have a visitor.”

“Yes, I’m up.”

“Alright, I’ll leave you two be then.”

Roseluck entered the room. Berry Punch was awash with relief, and a twinge of worry. She quietly sat down and waited.

“I’m sorry.”

Roseluck’s impassive expression split into sadness and relief.

“I honestly didn’t know what to think. Finding you on the floor like that.” Roseluck took a moment to compose herself. Berry Punch noticed the tear streaks down her cheeks. The guilt only swirled more. “I know Minuette told you already, but it reminded me of finding Lily. Except…” she choked back a sob. “Except she was already gone by the time I found her. I was so scared the same thing had happened.

“Then when you didn’t respond. I panicked. I tried to keep you awake, but nothing worked. It’s like you were slipping away in front of me. I just carried you to the hospital, and hoped I got there in time.

“Then when you finally wake up. I felt so relieved, but I wanted to know why. You said you were fine. Why would you do something like that? When you didn’t respond I felt lost. It was like you weren’t even there. I’m glad you apologized, but I don’t think its enough.” Roseluck sniffled. “I think we need to have a talk about your alcoholism.

“I’m not going to drag you to sobriety, but I’m also not going to watch you deteriorate away in front of me either. You can agree or not, but if you don’t… I’m going to leave this room and I’m not coming back.”

Roseluck sat back and waited for a reply, hope in her eyes.

Berry Punch had felt this coming for a long time. She knew her problem would be an obstacle in any future friendship or relationship. Now she had to make a choice. She would have to let Roseluck in her home to help. All of her home. She needed to trust Roseluck with her heart. Or she could go back to how things used to be. Predictable, but lonely; or uncertain, but loved. She closed her eyes.

“I’ll try. I promise.” The words were difficult to say, but she forced them out.

When she opened her eyes she found herself wrapped in an embrace.

“Thank you. I know that it’ll be hard, but I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

“I’m sorry, again. I won’t let it happen again. Next time I’ll reach out to you.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Roseluck sat back in her chair with a sniffle. “Remember I’m right next door, silly.”

Berry Punch smiled.

“I will.”

Roseluck wiped her eyes. “Now, I went looking for AA or NA groups, but they’re aren’t any in Ponyville. The closest are in Canterlot. They meet every month, so I was thinking we could try and make a trip up there next month.”

The suddenness of the commitment took Berry Punch for a spin, but she was determined to get better. Not just for Roseluck, but for herself too.

“Okay, as long as you’re there with me.”

Roseluck nodded.

“Of course.”

“Thank you, I know you don’t have to.”

“I said I’d be there for you. I meant it.” Roseluck bit her lip. “One more thing. I want to know why.”

Berry Punch mulled over the answer in her head. Be honest.

“I wasn’t fine after we came back from Manehattan. I let my thoughts spiral into some dark places and… I just wanted to forget it all. I should have reached out to you and Minuette, but I didn’t. I’m sorry I lied to you about how I was doing. I’ll try to be more honest next time.”

Roseluck seemed to accept the answer.

“At least next time, you’ll know better.” Roseluck smiled. “Even if I’m not home, my door’s open. You can wait in the living room for me if you want.”

Berry Punch didn’t know what to say, so the truth tumbled out instead.

“Why are you so nice?” Berry Punch asked. “You walked in on me drunk on the floor in my disgusting house, and you’re still here. I don’t say anything when you asked in the hospital, and you’re still here.”

“Berry Punch are you crying?”

Berry Punch put a hoof to her face, and sure enough she was.

“I messed up, badly, but you’re still here. Talking to me. Working things out with me. I just, I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe after Paint Spots I have a few screws loose. Is it dumb to expect the least amount of effort from ponies around you, and get surprised when they drown you with how much they care?”

Roseluck seemed taken aback at first, but her expression shifted into affirmation.

“No, it’s not.” She embraced her again. “I’ve always cared. You remember that when your thoughts get too loud, okay?” Berry Punch closed her eyes and enjoyed the hug. She could smell the lavender and lilac from Roseluck’s mane. She wanted to ask something, but she held her tongue. I don’t think now’s a good time.

“Okay,” Berry Punch managed to say.

“Okay.” Roseluck stood up. “I’ll let you sleep. I’ll be back in the morning when you’re discharged.”

The two exchanged goodbyes and Berry Punch was once again left alone in the room. She settled into the hospital bed as best she good before she slipped away into slumber.

Berry Punch absently listened to the nurse next to her. She was going to be discharged, as expected, but the nurse wanted to tell her a list of dos and don’ts. She nodded along at every statement as they walked down the hallway.

Truthfully she already had committed herself to not drink anymore despite her own trepidation. She didn’t want to lose Roseluck nor did she want to lose herself.

“Are you listening?” The nurse looked annoyed.

“Sorry, I have a lot on my mind, but I heard you. Drink a lot of water, and stay away from alcohol.”

The nurse sighed.

“I’m glad you heard me. Sorry for assuming.”

“Not a problem…” Berry Punch blanked on her name. “Hey, I don’t think I caught your name.”

“Redheart,” she supplied.

“Okay, thanks for the help, Redheart. I know I must’ve been a mess when I came in here.”

Redheart nodded.

“You certainly weren’t in good shape. Please try not to make visits like that in the future. I prefer checkups to life and death.”

Berry Punch bit her lip. Do I want to know how close I was? Her curiosity got the better of her. “Hey, how bad was I? I mean could I have died?”

Redheart looked her over with a critical eye.

“If you want honesty, you were lucky your friend found you when she did. You weren’t conscious when you arrived here. It was touch and go for an hour or two, but you managed to pull through.”

The thought unsettled her.

“Does Roseluck know?”

“Your friend? Yes, she stayed the whole way through until you woke up. She wanted to know every step of the way. One more thing, you may feel numbness or tingling in your legs, maybe even pain.”

“Why?”

“We discovered nerve damage via a magical scan, likely alcohol-related nephropathy. It’s why I told you to avoid drinking. You can make the damage worse if you do.”

“Nopony else knows I have this?”

“No, that’s private medical information. We can only share it with ponies you allow us to.”

Berry Punch nodded. I have to tell Roseluck.

The two reached the lobby where Roseluck was waiting.

Redheart rehashed the basic advice she told her in the hallway before wishing her well.

“Hi, Berry Punch. Minuette had a couple orders to fill today otherwise she would have been here too.”

The two exited the hospital and started towards Berry Punch’s house. She noticed some ponies giving her sympathetic looks. Guess being carried unconscious through town didn’t exactly make my condition private. Still, the looks made her uncomfortable and she got closer to Roseluck as a result.

“Feeling dizzy?” Roseluck asked.

“No, just, the stares.”

Roseluck looked around and noticed how many ponies were looking at them.

“Don’t pay them any mind.” Roseluck turned to look at her. “Is there anything else they told you before you left?”

“Yeah,” she lowered her voice, “I have nerve damage in my legs.”

Roseluck’s eyes widened.

“It’s not bad is it?”

“Redheart said I might feel numbness or tingling sometimes. Maybe pain. It won’t get worse, but it won’t get better either.”

“What would cause it to get worse?”

“Alcohol. That’s what caused it in the first place.”

Roseluck nodded in relief. “At least we can control that.”

Berry Punch had to agree, even as she felt the itch for a glass.

They arrived at her house without incident. At first Berry Punch expected Roseluck to head to her house, but she followed Berry Punch up to the door.

“Don’t you need to go work at the flower shop?”

“Not today, I took it off. This is the first step, I’m going to make sure there’s not one bottle left in here, and we’re going to do some general cleaning.” Roseluck smiled. “It’s good for your health.”

Berry Punch felt the old anxiety well up again. I did know I would have to do this. She opened the door and allowed Roseluck inside.

Roseluck placed her saddlebags on the couch and pulled out a roll of garbage bags.

“Do you have cleaning supplies?”

“Yes, but not much.”

“That’s fine, I brought some with me. I was just checking. Might as well use everything we have.”

Roseluck directed the cleaning effort and helped Berry Punch focus in on specific tasks. Pick up trash, scrub out stains, and organize random items laying around.

The living room took two hours all in told to properly clean. Paint cans were stored away in the nearby closet, organized by color. Spare canvases were neatly stacked on an unused shelf, and the easel was placed nearby the shelf. Her parent’s gift sat in the middle of the coffee table. Where it’ll stay. She affirmed to herself.

The kitchen was next. Berry Punch tackled the dishes, mostly because she was too embarrassed to let Roseluck do them. Roseluck went through all the cabinets and cupboards, and the fridge. Any alcohol she found was poured out, and the bottles were thrown away.

Berry Punch couldn’t stop herself from wincing at the amount that was being wasted, but she didn’t comment on it. She tried to focus on scrubbing the last of the dishes.

Together they worked on washing down the counter tops and the kitchen table. Berry Punch took up sweeping, and once she was done Roseluck mopped.

By the time the two had finished the kitchen looked great. The counter tops practically shined. The sink was clear, and the fridge was cleaned out.

Roseluck nodded to herself.

“Alright, ready for the bathroom?”

Berry Punch followed her lead again as the two tackled the small space. Bottles were organized, surfaces were cleaned to a shine, stains were wiped away, and the floor was swept and mopped to cleanliness.

“I saw another room off from the living room, what is that?” Roseluck asked.

“Oh, that’s my old painting room. I haven’t used it in two years, so there’s not much in there. I’ll still show you.”

True to Berry Punch’s word the room was mostly empty and hadn’t been used in a long time. Roseluck searched around the room before the two lightly cleaned it up. Overall it took the least amount of time.

“Now the upstairs, and that’s just your room, right?”

“Yeah.” Her mind started to scream at her to do something, anything, but a fog swirled around her brain obscuring her thoughts. It took Roseluck taking the first step up the stairs for her to react.

“Wait!” She held a hoof in front of Roseluck and blocked her from going further. “I, um, not up there… please?” Her eyes were pinpricks. She can’t see that. I should’ve gotten rid of it. Why did I keep it?Was the air getting heavier? When was she breathing so fast? Am I really this pathetic?

“Berry Punch...” Roseluck bit her lip in uncertainty. “I need to make sure you have no alcohol left. Together, remember? Whatever's up there we can face together.” Berry Punch could tell she wasn’t going to back down.

A beat passed.

Berry Punch lowered her hoof.

“There’s something up there, I—” Berry Punch took a moment to control her breathing. “I need you to help me. It’s… not something good. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but...” Berry Punch trailed off as she ran out of words to say. Roseluck nodded.

“Of course I’ll help, lead the way.”

Berry Punch hesitantly walked up the stairs with Roseluck in tow. She pushed the door to her room open and revealed the mess. Her blankets were thrown all around the bed. A pile of empty bottles sat off to the side of the bed. Broken glass was haphazardly swept against one of the walls. A torn-up picture with a cracked frame sat on the ground with tiny pieces of glass stuck in the frame. Various sweaters and scarves littered the ground. Leading to and from the window were several dark stains of old blood. Off to the left of the door was an opened closet with a length of rope inside. Berry Punch couldn’t speak, the stress of the situation was too much, instead she leaned against the door frame for support.

Roseluck, without a word, carefully made her way to the closet and untied the rope from the broken metal bar before she took it with her down stairs. Berry Punch followed after her.

She tossed the item in the trash.

Roseluck wrapped Berry Punch in hug.

“If you ever feel that way again, my door’s open always.” Tears dropped from Roseluck’s eyes. “Doesn’t matter what time it is. Doesn’t matter if I’m home or not. If you need somewhere to be, I can provide that. You got it?” Berry Punch returned the hug.

“I—yes” Roseluck squeezed Berry Punch a little tighter before letting her go. Roseluck wiped her eyes.

“Now, let’s get that room of yours clean. I still need to check it, remember?”

Berry Punch nodded.

Her room took the longest to clean, mostly due to various instances of broken glass that was hidden beneath other garbage or items. The relief she felt when they were done was incalculable. Looking around at her room, she couldn’t believe she lived like that for so long.

As the last of the garbage was wrapped up and thrown out, Berry Punch felt satisfied with the work they did. Sure, it was late and she was tired, but at least her house was clean. The two were sitting in the living room, and relaxing after the work of the day.

“Thank you for the help.”

Roseluck smiled.

“Anytime, just try not to make it an everyday occurrence.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all you can do. It’s late, so I’m going to head home. Get some sleep Berry Punch, okay?”

“I will.”

Berry Punch waved goodbye to Roseluck, and then she shut her front door. Here she was. Alone. She took a deep breath and headed up to her room. Once she reached the top, she paused. I don’t think I’m ready to go into my room today. The living room felt safer to her.

She turned and went back downstairs. Grabbing extra blankets from the closet, she set up a makeshift bed on the couch. This feels better.

Snuggling into the blankets, she tried her best to dream of a better tomorrow.

Berry Punch sat up, and wiped the sleepiness from her eyes. The sound of items being placed on the counter in her kitchen made her wonder who had broken in just to cook something.

“Hello?”

“Oh, Berry Punch, you’re awake.” Roseluck’s head popped in from the kitchen doorway. “Sorry, I let myself in. I thought you could use a late birthday breakfast. Does your head feel better?”

“Yeah, much better” Berry Punch said.

“Good.” Roseluck seemed to hesitate. “Do you remember what we talked about?” Oh, that’s right. The conversation came flooding back to her. Anxiety at getting rid of her habit grew, but she tried not to show it.

“Yes.” Berry Punch fidgeted on the couch and resisted the urge to pour herself a glass. Not that there’s anything to pour. Roseluck made sure of that yesterday. It’s what she had done for every morning for years. Now she’d have to break that habit.

“Do you feel good enough to make some breakfast with me? I thought it might be nice palette cleanser after the past two days.” Roseluck let out a little laugh at her on joke.

Berry Punch laughed too, though it was mostly in surprise at the unexpected tension break.

As the two walked into the kitchen Berry Punch a sparkle entered Roseluck’s green eyes, “Lets make a proper breakfast. Your fridge was a little light, so I grabbed a couple things from home while you were asleep.”

Roseluck pulled open the flap from her saddlebags that were sitting on the counter. As she laid out the ingredients, she could spot cinnamon and flour, and a couple other familiar items as well. She tried to think what they could make with this. Thankfully Roseluck spoke up and explained her plan.

“This one’s simple cinnamon pancakes.” Roseluck pointed to each ingredient in turn. “Flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, milk, butter, an egg, and of course cinnamon. You don’t have to know the specifics behind each one, just that they work together to create the batter.” She pulled out a bowl from a nearby cupboard.

Roseluck brought out some measuring cups and started to measure out each ingredient. Unsure of what to do Berry Punch stood and watched until Roseluck nodded to the unused ingredients.

“Measure those out like this.” Roseluck went down the line and told Berry Punch how much for each one as she measured them out.

Roseluck hummed to herself as she mixed the batter together. Just as the morning sun rose and light trickled in through the window complementing Roseluck’s features perfectly. Berry Punch found herself staring at her. Wow. How’d somepony like you find somepony like me? A more bitter part of her mind added, and why did she stick around at all for me? She decided to ignore the thought and focus on the present.

Roseluck set the bowl down as she finished mixing.

“You can pour out the first one, its your birthday breakfast after all.” Roseluck gave another encouraging smile. Berry Punch grabbed the bowl and messily poured the first pancake batter in. Flicks of batter got on Berry Punch’s hooves and face.

Berry Punch was about to apologize for the mess before she heard Roseluck laughing. Before long she was laughing too. She didn’t know what Roseluck found so funny about the situation, but the laughter helped a lot more than she thought. Her anxiety seemed to wash away at least for the moment. By the end of it she found herself face to face with Roseluck as the laughter died down.

Roseluck had a warm smile on her face, she reached up and wiped a bit of batter off Berry Punch’s face. Her hoof didn’t move after that, staying against Berry Punch’s right cheek. A feeling welled up inside her, it was difficult to properly articulate how strongly she felt it, but it was there. Either way the moment passed when the smell of burning reached both of them.

Roseluck pulled her hoof away and tossed the burned pancake into the trash. Berry Punch missed the feeling of her hoof on her cheek. She seemed to be thinking about Roseluck more and more lately. Questions swirled in Berry Punch’s mind about her own inadequacy. How flawed she was. At the same time a tiny voice inside her didn’t agree. As long as I try I should be okay. She took a breath and brought herself back to the present.

She found Roseluck had already poured out the next pancake and was watching it more closely this time. Berry Punch caught Roseluck glance over to her every once in a while, but Berry Punch couldn’t tell how she felt about the moment that had just happened.

Roseluck started to hum again as she flipped out the pancakes one after the other. The two mares made small talk, but both seemed content not to push forwards talking about what happened. At least not in the moment. For now, they both enjoyed the comfort of good food and each others presence. That was enough for them.

As they finished up breakfast, Roseluck spoke.

“I have something to ask you.”

Berry Punch fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat, but didn’t interrupt otherwise.

“I know between yesterday and today things have been a bit of a mess. I was wondering if you would be fine if I threw a late birthday party for you today?”

“It wouldn’t be large, right?”

“No, four ponies counting myself. My mom’ll be there too.”

Berry Punch nodded.

“It’s fine then. I don’t mind.”

“Great! I have to set some things up then. Are you going to be okay by yourself?”

“I’ll be okay. If not, you’re right next door.”

“Yep, exactly. I’ll see you around three in the afternoon.”

With goodbyes exchanged Berry Punch watched as Roseluck left to her home. After a moment she headed straight to the bathroom. I’m not meeting her family looking like this.

She made sure there was a towel before turning on the shower. The hot water felt great on her coat. She scrubbed out any grime and dirt with a strawberry body wash. Satisfied, she moved on to her mane and tail, carefully washing the thick, lumpy mass of hair. It took some time before she thoroughly got through her mane and tail. With that she hopped out of the shower and dried herself off.

She picked up the brush only to realize how covered in hair it was. After a couple minutes of pulling hair out she was able to make it usable.

She encountered many tangles despite her thorough job in the shower. Guess that’s what I get for neglecting it for so long. An hour of struggling with her mane and tail, and she was able to make them presentable. Not even a stray hair, nice job Berry. She found it strange to congratulate herself over something so small, but it felt nice.

As she left the bathroom a spark of inspiration hit her. The first in a long time. She eyed the clock. I have enough time.

The room was as she left it, if a bit dusty. Paintings from her favorites artists covered the walls, except for one wall which was a large glass window facing towards the hills and distant Everfree. An easel sat in the center of the room, facing the window at a slight angle. Beside it was as stool with a tray of dried up paint. On the easel was a painting. Berry Punch remembered the day she painted it. I felt awful. I needed something to mirror that.

Dark blues and dull purples crisscrossed the canvas, black circled the distorted pony shape, and light blue tears dropped from her face. The eyes were bloodshot with heavy bags, and the eyelids drooped in exhaustion. The title was scribbled onto a tag hanging off the painting, ‘Myself’.

Berry Punch carefully set the painting aside before putting a fresh canvas on the easel. Then she washed off the old paint from the tray, and added a new, brighter palette to it. Maybe, things can be different this time. She thought as she started to paint. Maybe they can be better.

She had left the painting to dry in the other room. She felt a nervous energy about the final result, and she wondered what Roseluck would think when she saw it. Not today, but sometime soon.

Berry Punch lounged around her living room while she waited. She looked up at the clock.

2:30

Not yet. She wondered who Roseluck had invited, and hoped it wasn’t too many ponies. Idly a part of her mind wanted a drink. Even if the thought of drinking lingered in the back of her mind, she tried her best to suppress it. She looked up at the clock again.

2:37

Nervousness and anticipation built up inside her. I hate waiting, if something bad’s going to happen just get it over with. Berry Punch shook her head. Nothing bad’s going to happen. Today’s going to be a good day! She tried voicing that last part in Roseluck’s voice, and it worked to shake her out of her spiral.

2:45

Berry Punch’s mind drifted to Roseluck. Had this really all started with a knock at the door? It seemed like such a long time ago. She almost cringed thinking about how bad her house looked then. What did I do before Roseluck came into my life?

Berry Punch found the answer unpleasant. Just mindless working until I got home. Then drink myself to sleep. Maybe stare at a wall in the morning while getting over my hangover. Nopony talked to her, nopony checked up on her or asked her how things were going, and she returned the favor. But Roseluck had approached her, knocked on her door, and asked if she wanted to go do something.

Berry Punch was starting to realize how much that moment meant to her, even if at the time she felt more annoyed than anything. She lost her sister, and she’s still functioning. She’s still doing things, still talking to ponies. Still has friends. For a moment her mind wanted to dredge up all her own flaws to compare with Roseluck, but she pushed it back down.

“If she can do it so can I.” Berry Punch blinked. She hadn’t meant to say that part aloud, but it felt right. It made the statement more ingrained in her mind. She looked up at the clock only to jump off the couch and rush out the door.

3:05

I can’t be late again! Not this time. Berry Punch hurried down the sidewalk and onto Roseluck’s porch. She nervously knocked. No response. She tried again. Nothing. Now she was starting to get worried. Did I mess this up again?

She pushed the door open. The room was dark, and it looked like the windows were covered.

“Hello—?”

She was cut off by a blinding flash of light and a “Surprise!”.

She blinked and looked over the small group of ponies in front of her. She recognized Minuette and Roseluck, but the other two escaped her for a moment. Vinyl! That’s right I saw her during the Summer Sun Celebration. She also remembered she wasn’t having the best time. That left the mare standing to Roseluck’s left.

Roseluck caught her confusion and introduced her.

“This is my mother, Iris Petal.”

Iris held out a hoof and Berry Punch shook it.

“Nice to meet you, Iris Petal.”

“Just Iris will do.”

“My Dad was supposed to be here today, but he’s really sick today.”

Iris Petal put a hoof on her daughter’s withers. “Don’t worry too much, dear. His nurse is watching over him. You know Tender Care treats your dad like his own. Might as well be family too.” Iris Petal let out a chuckle. Roseluck shook her head before putting on a smile.

“You’re right, he’s in good hooves.” Roseluck turned back to Berry Punch sheepishly. “Sorry about that, family is important to me, and I really wanted you to meet both of them.”

“She still can some other time,” Iris Petal put in. “I’m sure he would be glad to finally meet the mare Roseluck keeps talking about.”

Roseluck blushed as Berry Punch stared at the floor.

“You talk about me to other ponies?” She didn’t know how to feel about that. The thought that ponies she didn’t know knew things about her made her nervous. Roseluck didn’t catch the subtext of the question and seemed more embarrassed than anything.

“Oh, you know, just small things. It’s hard not to since we’ve spent so much time together.” Roseluck finally said.

Iris watched her daughter with a knowing look, before whispering something in her ear. Roseluck’s eyes widened and a red tint appeared on her cheeks.

“Um, a-anyway, your cake’s in there.” Roseluck made an effort to move the conversation along as she walked into the kitchen. “I have to go set up a couple things, I’ll be right back.” She called back.

Berry Punch had never seen Roseluck flustered before. It was as surprising as it was cute. Berry Punch had been noticing a lot of smaller things about Roseluck lately. The way she would canter when she was excited, how she would tap her hooves when annoyed, or the tunes she would hum to herself when she thought Berry Punch couldn’t hear her. It seemed more important to her to know and remember these things.

Iris watched her leave with an amused expression.

“You already know me,” Minuette said. “I’ll help her out with what she’s doing.”

With that Minuette left the room, leaving Berry Punch with Iris and Vinyl.

“Hi,” Berry Punch nervously started. “I’m Berry Punch.”

Vinyl scribbled something on a notepad and held it up.

We know, Roseluck told us. The mare went through the motions of a chuckle, the only sound being the air sucked in and out of her mouth.

“You can’t talk?”

Oh, I can talk plenty. Verbally speaking on the other hoof, nah. She smirked. My music speaks louder than I ever could. You should know, being an artist and all.

“An artist?” Iris Petal asked.

Berry Punch waited for the follow up, about how it wasn’t her mark, and she should instead focus on her natural talent.

“I remember Roseluck talking about that. Is it true you paint?” The question was unexpected, Berry Punch expected something closer to chastising.

“Yes, it’s something I’ve enjoyed for my whole life.”

“It’s always nice to have something like that,” Iris Petal said. “Do you have any of your pieces you can show?”

Berry Punch hadn’t ever been asked the question before in a non-educational setting.

“Maybe later. I don’t have anything with me.”

“I understand.” Iris nodded. “Some other time then.”

The room lapsed into quiet as Berry Punch didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know either of the two mares very well. Her anxious mind grasped for any topic to keep the drowning conversation afloat.

“Vinyl, I just realized, where’s that gray mare?”

Vinyl’s smile became strained.

You mean Tavi? She’s busy today. Normally she interprets for me, but not today. Vinyl’s ear flicked. How’d you feel about today? From what I know it’s been awhile since you had a party like this.

“Oh, um, it feels nice. Better than I thought, but I’m always worrying.” Berry Punch noted the topic change and decided not to steer back into it. “I didn’t know who to expect when Roseluck said she was throwing a party.”

Didn’t expect me, didja?

Berry Punch had to be honest, she didn’t expect Vinyl to be here.

“I didn’t know Roseluck knew you.”

Vinyl’s smile grew wider.

Everypony knows me, mostly because of Pinkie Pie. She needs music, I’m there. Vinyl eyed Berry Punch. I gotta say though, I don’t ever remember doing a party for you. Which is strange, usually I do everypony’s Welcome to Ponyville party.

Now Vinyl had hit a topic Berry Punch didn’t want to talk about, though she was more surprised Vinyl didn’t know.

“You… don’t know?”

Vinyl shook her head. Iris looked at her curiously as well. Great, they both don’t know.

“Let’s just say the party didn’t go well.” Because of me. Another thing to apologize for.

Iris took the answer with a nod, while Vinyl seemed keen on details. Before Berry Punch could try and navigate her way out of the topic Roseluck reentered the room, to her relief.

“Alright, it’s all ready.” Roseluck herded the group into the kitchen. On the table sat a remarkable cake. The cake was a reddish-magenta colored cake with white outlines, and white loops around the center. The white outlines had splashes of red, blues, and greens almost like drops of paint. On the top paintbrushes made of icing spelled out “Happy Birthday Berry Punch!” A lone spiral candle was lit in the center.

Berry Punch stared at the cake, she blinked once then twice, but the cake remained. This wasn’t some dream. She didn’t want to cry, but her body decided otherwise.

“Thank you.” She whispered, before raising her voice so everypony could hear her. “Thank you, so much.”

All the ponies in the room smiled back at her, before they sang her ‘Happy Birthday’. At the end of it Berry Punch blew out the candle and the other four cheered. The cake was cut and slices were given to everypony.

Once the cake was gone, Berry Punch noticed four presents sitting on the counter. Roseluck smiled at her surprised look.

“I think it’s time for gifts.” Roseluck passed Berry Punch a rectangle package first.

Berry Punch unwrapped the package, a wide smile broke on her features when she realized what it was. New paint brushes. Minuette was practically buzzing with anticipation as she watched Berry Punch open the gift, and a wide smile appeared when she saw Berry Punch liked it too.

“You like them?” Minuette asked. “I know you haven’t painted in a while, but whenever you do these should help.”

“I do. They’re a pleasant surprise.” Berry Punch started as she realized what she said. “Um, I didn’t mean that I knew you weren’t going to get anything, that would be rude. Um, I just meant I was...er, I mean...” Berry Punch trailed off as she realized Minuette was laughing.

“You’re fine, you didn’t do anything wrong. I know what you meant.” Minuette clapped her hooves together. “Besides, you have three more gifts to go through! I’m just happy you liked the one I got.”

Berry Punch sheepishly nodded as she took the next gift.

Inside was a plain brown box. Flipping the lid open revealed a small record player. A glass lid covered the playing area. There was a note tucked on the side of it. Berry Punch took it out.

Don’t read this out loud. A little something to keep your mind off things. I heard about your hospital visit. Good luck on recovery. I’ve been there before. Still kinda am, but that’s besides the point. Happy Birthday.

When Berry Punch looked up there was an understanding in Vinyl’s scarlet eyes that made Berry Punch uneasy. She decided to not broach the subject.

“Does this work?”

Yep! You need smaller crystal discs, and it’ll play them. Sound’s all normal too. No volume adjustment though, which kinda sucks. There’s a headphone jack on the left side if you prefer it.

Berry Punch looked over the gift with new eyes. This works? How? She couldn’t imagine the ingenuity that went into it.

“Thank you.” This’ll make walks more interesting.

Vinyl grinned and nodded.

Berry Punch carefully set the tiny record player aside and grabbed the next gift. Inside the wrapping was a beautifully carved wooden box, with natural curls and leaves decorating the surface. Berry Punch opened the box and found a singular seed in the center of a plush piece of fabric.

“What is this?” Berry Punch asked, looking at the seed.

“It’s a Jade flower,” Iris supplied. “It’s easy to care for, and I thought it might spruce up your house a bit. Given time and proper care it will flower beautiful white petals.”
Berry Punch had never taken care of a plant before, but the thought of having something to care for was appealing. Without Roseluck, Berry Punch found she had very little to do, and this could alleviate some of that. Berry Punch eyed her paint brushes. Might also be time to finally start painting more.

“Thank you Iris Petal.” Berry Punch smiled and carefully tucked the box next the her paint brushes. I’m going need a pot, some dirt, and a watering can, I think? Berry Punch’s stomach had butterflies. Or I could ask Roseluck for help. We could go out and she could teach me how to care for it. Just the thought was making her daydream a bit.

“Equss to Berry Punch? You there?” Minuette waved a hoof in front of her muzzle. Berry Punch shook herself out of it.

“Yes, sorry just got lost in thought.” Berry Punch said. Minuette gave a knowing grin, but didn’t say anything further. Roseluck held out one last gift, she seemed more nervous about it than the others.

“This is from me, um, here.” Roseluck hoofed off the gift to Berry Punch. Berry Punch could feel Roseluck watching her as she opened the gift.
Inside was a plain brown box with a small note at the top flap.

From me to you! - Roseluck

Berry Punch opened the box and found a scarf colored to match her mane. She pulled the scarf out and looked over the whole thing, at the ends were some tassels, and her cutie mark sewn into the fabric. Berry Punch looked to the gift, and then to Roseluck and back again. Roseluck laughed nervously as Berry Punch continued to not speak.

“I’m not great at sewing, but I tried my hoof at it to make that.” Roseluck rubbed a hoof anxiously behind her head. “So what do you—?”

Roseluck was interrupted by Berry Punch hugging her.

“I think she likes it,” Minuette supplied. “Told you so.”

Berry Punch tightened her hug. “Thank you. I don’t think anypony besides my parents have given me something like this.”

“Your welcome, I’m glad you like it.”

“I don’t like it, I love it.” Berry Punch corrected as she tried to keep her voice low enough so nopony else heard. Berry Punch blushed as she said the words, glad Roseluck couldn’t see her face at the moment. Eventually they broke away.

The rest of the afternoon through to the evening was spent playing games and talking. Finally once everypony was tired out they went their own ways leaving Berry Punch and Roseluck alone. Berry Punch stayed behind to help Roseluck clean up, and since the party was small it only took about an hour before everything was spic and span.

Roseluck and Berry Punch said their goodbyes. Berry Punch walked home, gifts in her saddlebags, and a happy feeling in her heart. She met one of Roseluck’s parents, and Vinyl. Today was a good day. She opened her door and entered her home again. Tired out, she placed her gifts on the living room table before she crashed on the couch. Dreams of Roseluck playing through her mind.

Author's Note

Tried something new at the start of the chapter. Let me know if it works for you or not. Also this is the longest chapter I've ever written, and I'm unsure at how well it came out. I feel good about it, but there's always a lingering uncertainty I feel about longer chapters. Like I missed something. Leave any thoughts or corrections in the comments! (If you have a long list of mistakes you found that's too long for a comment, feel free to DM me the list! )