Fluttershy Orders a Sandwich
“Um…okay I’ll have the daisy sandwich, with some lettuce…wait! Is it romaine lettuce or loose leaf lettuce?”
“...Romaine.”
“Okay I’ll have exactly two pieces of lettuce, equal in size.”
“With two pieces of lettuce?”
“Two equal pieces of lettuce.”
“Equal?”
“Yes, I want the sandwich to be as symmetrical as possible, and that cannot be done if one piece of lettuce is half the size of the other. They need to be of equal size.”
Twilight smiled as she finished her explanation to the cashier. She, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were all standing at the front of the line of the relatively small fast-food place that served healthier food, such as sandwiches and soup. It had become an extremely popular place to eat in Ponyville, often boasting a full-house around noon when all of the seats were taken by ponies on their lunch breaks.
Even now, as the time approached one-thirty, the place was still mostly full as only about two tables were available for anypony to sit if they decided to stay in the restaurant to eat. But Twilight and her two friends had already decided to take the food to go, planning to eat their lunch outside, under a nearby oak tree that they often used for small, spontaneous picnics.
Something that even the uptight, order-obsessed Twilight could enjoy.
While the restaurant was short on places to sit, the line behind the counter wasn’t too long. Only about five to six ponies stood behind the three friends in the line, each one either engaged in a relaxed conversation with a friend, or looking at the chalkboard menu that hung behind the counter with hungry eyes, their stomachs growling as they imagined sitting down to a nice plate of...whatever they thought looked best.
Twilight was busy giving the cashier hell with her ultra-specific requests for her sandwich. The cashier that was taking Twilight’s order, a blue unicorn colt in a white-collared shirt with a name-tag and a bizarre paper hat with the fast food company’s logo on it, used a pen, surrounded in his magic, to scribble down the specifics of her order. Needless to say, he was almost out of room on one sheet and knew that soon he'd have to use the next sheet in the pad to continue the order. Once finished writing down the latest add-on to Twilight's order, the cashier looked back down at the mare.
“Okay, what else did you say that you wanted on the sandwich?”
“Two slices of tomato.”
“Let me guess, symmetry?”
Twilight nodded and the cashier let out another sigh, "Figures."
He continued to scribble down with a great ferocity the unicorn’s complicated order. Rainbow Dash stood behind Twilight, waiting for her friend to finish her order, her own mind made up rather quickly as to what she wanted, while Fluttershy was still looking at the list of choices that were scribbled out on the black-board menu. With the fading chalked writing and the smudging that often came with time, the board looked as though it hadn't been erased in weeks.
“Oh my, there are so many choices.” Fluttershy muttered as her eyes scanned the menu, not sure what to get.
She thought about possibly getting a daisy sandwich, like the one Twilight was currently ordering, or a vegetable and rice soup.
“Okay, so we have a daisy sandwich with two pieces of lettuce.” the cashier muttered to Twilight.
“…that are the same size.” Twilight finished with her hoof raised.
The cashier rolled his eyes, “Sorry, two same-sized pieces of lettuce, two tomatoes on whole-wheat bread with only the bottom crust on it. Anything else you’d like to order?"
“Hm…” Twilight put her hoof to her chin as she thought, “What is there to drink?”
“Apple juice, orange juice, soda…”
“I’ll have apple juice.”
The colt scribbled down what she said, relieved that she picked a drink so much quicker than he expected, “Okay, anything else.”
“Let’s see…” Twilight put her hoof to her chin as she began to think about what else she could add to the order as the cashier pony mentally hung himself so he wouldn’t have to suffer through her overly complex order anymore.
As she waited for Twilight to finish her order, Rainbow Dash let out an obnoxious groan to verbalize to her ordering friend how annoyed she was. Her cyan hoof tapped the ground as the little patience she had started to wane with each passing second.
“Ugh, come on Twilight believe or not I do have a job I need to get back to. Even if I can do it in ten seconds flat, I can’t waste all day waiting for you to order your lunch.”
Without looking back at her friend, Twilight responded.
“Have patience Rainbow, this sandwich needs to be perfect.”
“No it doesn’t!”
Twilight turned to face Rainbow Dash, the cashier put his hoof to his face in annoyance at her order being further delayed. He just wanted to get the torture over with, and he couldn't do that if the lavender mare was arguing with her friend instead of completing her order.
“Actually, it does.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Okay, so you’re saying you’d be fine with being given an imperfect sandwich?”
“As long as it tasted okay, I wouldn't care how many pieces of lettuce or tomato were on it.”
‘Well then that’s you. I need to have as much control as possible in how my food is made.” Twilight said, giving Rainbow Dash glare before she turned her attention back at the cashier, whose hoof was back at his side like it was never up at his face.
“Thanks for your patience sir.” Twilight said, completely oblivious to how impatient the cashier truly was.
"I hate you." he thought with pure vitriol, but he said in a cheerful tone:
“No problem.”
The cashier gave Twilight a fake smile to mask the inner pain he felt from taking her order.
Twilight smiled, totally unaware to the mental anguish she was causing the poor cashier.
“Can I have a small serving of hay fries please?”
“Sure.”
“Also, make sure they’re light on the salt.”
“Got it.”
“…and also make sure they’re extra crispy.”
"Lady, you're killing me." the cashier thought as he gave Twilight a small nod, still trying his best not to show his annoyance when in reality he felt like shoving his hoof into the fryer, for he felt that third-degree burns would be less painful than taking any more of this pony’s order. Fortunately for him, Rainbow Dash had no problem openly displaying her irritation as she began to trot in place.
“Come on, come on, come on.” She quietly muttered over and over. Twilight turned around and shot her an angry look, to which Rainbow Dash just glared back with a glare of mutual irritation.
Twilight turned her attention back to the cashier. “And that’s it.”
The colt, both relieved for finishing the order and exhausted from writing down so many mundane details, finished scribbling down the last bit of the specifics for the hay-fries and nodded.
“Okay, thanks. That’ll be three bits.” Twilight gave the colt the money and he handed her the receipt. “Thank you.”
The colt looked up at the next pony in line. It was Rainbow Dash.
“Next?”
Rainbow Dash trotted past Twilight and shot her a look, “Took you long enough.”
“Okay miss impatient, let’s see you order in a shorter amount of time.”
“Fine.” Rainbow Dash said as she trotted up to the counter, her stomach letting out some small growls to let her know it was starving.
“What would you like to order?”
“Yes, I’d like a number three meal with a soda please.”
“Is that all?”
“Yeah.”
“That’ll be three bits as well.” the cashier said, but after the order Twilight put him through he couldn't help but think:
"I love you, oh cyan mare goddess of quick orders and rainbow manes."
Rainbow Dash tossed her three coins onto the counter and turned to Twilight, “Now that’s how a normal pony orders her food.”
Twilight rolled her eyes as Rainbow Dash grabbed her receipt from the now oddly love-struck cashier.
"Marry me." he thought dreamily as he continued to stare lovingly at the quick-ordering mare that saved his patience for the time being. Eventually he snapped himself out of his love-induced daze and put the bits into the register.
Rainbow Dash tucked the slip of paper under her wing, and trotted back in line so she was next to Twilight, turning to her and giving her the most arrogant, toothy grin imaginable, which only irritated Twilight.
Now it was the third member of the group, Fluttershy, that was "up to bat", so to speak. The plethora of choices offered, plus her trouble with socialization was turning out to be a cruel combination of nervousness as she thought about what she wanted. She just couldn’t make up her mind between the daisy sandwich and the vegetable soup, both of which looked way too good to pass up. At first she thought about getting both, satisfying both of her wants, but stopped when she remembered how she only brought enough money for either the sandwich or the soup, not both. She also could get a drink and fries, but the two main courses would cost her four bits and she only had three on her at the moment.
Either way, she had to make a decision, something that she wasn’t necessarily the best at, especially when she had the added pressure of both her friends waiting for her to order so they could leave and other ponies waiting for her to finish so they could place their orders and satisfy their own hunger pains.
She was so concerned with what to order that she failed to hear the cashier calling her name until Twilight tapped her on the shoulder. Fluttershy looked at Twilight, who then pointed at the counter where the cashier was motioning the mare over with his hoof.
“Hello, miss? You’re up next.”
Fluttershy let out a small eep and looked over towards the register to see the colt behind the counter waving her over, a very impatient look on his face. Slowly and nervously, Fluttershy made her way towards the counter; her head hung low as her eyes looked up, darting from the cashier’s face to the menu above his head.
“Can I take your order?”
Fluttershy bit her lip nervously.
“Um hi…can I have a...mumble.” she said, trailing off at the end due to her fear, hating the feeling of being put on the spot..
“I’m sorry what do you want?”
“I want some…er…can I have…a small soup?”
The pony wrote down her order, “Okay, what kind of soup? We have vegetable rice, tomato basil and our special today is split pea.”
“Um…oh my they all sound so tasty.”
Fluttershy looked at each soup individually, the tastiness of each one making her mouth water. She originally wanted the vegetable and rice, but as she thought about it, she realized that tomato basil sounded just as good as long as it came with some crackers that she could crumble into it. She loved crackers in tomato soup.
But then she then realized how much she had been craving split-pea soup recently, but didn’t notice it on the menu as it was a “special”. In the end her mind started to race; she could feel herself start to sweat all over as the three possible choices began to compete against within her mind other like three powerful nations engaging in a great battle that would not only decide the fate of who controlled the entire world, but that had to be decided in the next minute or else all three would lose. After all, she was deathly afraid of making ponies impatient, like Twilight did to Rainbow Dash.
She didn’t want to be like Twilight, especially with ponies behind her that she didn’t know. She could tolerate friends getting impatient with her, but strangers scared her. She could imagine them whispering about her behind her back, saying how annoying she was being for taking so long to place an order.
Fluttershy swallowed, moistening her dry throat, before she was able to speak up, “Um...I’ll have…um…”
She quickly turned to see Rainbow Dash staring off into space while Twilight motioned for her to “hurry up” with her hoof, but she smiled warmly as to not pressure the poor pony.
“I’ll have…um…”
“HEY COME ON LADY WE DON’T HAVE ALL DAY!!’
Fluttershy eyes bulged open in fright and shock at hearing the intimidating voice of the impatient colt standing behind her, waiting to place his order. She didn't look back at him, his voice alone was enough to frighten her so much that her mind began to run like Angel bunny would from a snake. She couldn’t take it anymore and in a panic made a hasty decision.
“I’ll have a daisy sandwich.”
The cashier raised an eyebrow, “A daisy sandwich?”
Fluttershy hesitated, realizing what she did. She just ordered something that wasn't a soup, it was a sandwich, something that she didn't want. She wanted to take it back, to tell the cashier that she wanted a soup and give her a couple more seconds to think about it.
But all she did was nod, too afraid to change her mind and seem more wishy-washy than she already did.
The cashier just kept looking at the mare, not believing that she wanted a sandwich over the soup.
“You sure you don’t want a soup? Because you seemed to really have your heart set on it.”
Fluttershy nodded, indicating that she really did want the sandwich instead of the soup. But that was a lie. She did want one of the three soups far more than the daisy sandwich, but the pressure was too great and she couldn’t stand to annoy anypony else with her delayed orders. A few moments later the colt finished scribbling down the order and putting it into the register.
The cashier shrugged, “Okay, anything else that you'd like? Like hay-fries or a drink?”
“Mumble” Fluttershy said at too low a volume for the cashier to make out.
“I’m sorry?”
"I'll have...mumble."
"Can you speak up a little please?"
Fluttershy sighed, “Yes, both…please…if that’s okay with you.”
“It is.” The cashier said, perplexed by her anxiety, “First, what drink would you like me to get for you?”
Fluttershy looked up at the drinks and saw the massive list available, including apple juice, orange juice, soda, grape juice, skim milk, 1% milk and more. And, just as with the soup, every option appealed to the pony almost as much as the last. After thinking for about two seconds, too nervous to contemplate anymore, Fluttershy thought she came to a decision.
“Um…apple juice.”
The cashier nodded and started to scribble the drink down when Fluttershy interrupted him.
“No wait! I’ll have milk.”
The cashier scribbled out “apple juice” and was about to put down “milk” when Fluttershy spoke up again.
“Actually…um…maybe...”
"Oh great, here we go." The cashier sighed and put down his pad and pen, deciding not to write down what she wanted until she finalized her decision. Otherwise he feared the entire sheet of paper would be covered in sloppy pen scribble-outs, like it had been with Twilight.
Fluttershy noticed the cashier's sigh and action of putting down the pad and pen. She immediately felt her nervousness return in full force; she was back to being paranoid about annoying somepony, in this case the cashier, with her delayed order and inability to make a definitive decision in a reasonable amount of time. She didn't want to annoy anypony, and immediately started hating herself. She could feel panic begin to set in and, like before, her panic led to her going against her best interest.
“Actually…I’ll pass on the drink.”
Immediately she grimaced, but not wanting to seem like a flip-flopper, she realized there was no going back once the words left her lips.
"What?" The colt looked up at Fluttershy, surprised by her response. “Really? None?”
Fluttershy quickly shook her head, feeling as though hundreds of ponies were staring at her, their eyes focused solely on her. She pictured them whispering about her behind her back, saying how “stupid” she sounded and looked, and how annoyingly long she was taking to place her order, which they thought should have been simple enough to do in less than a minute.
Thinking these things made her feel humiliated. An overwhelming desire to melt into the wooden floor at her hooves filled her as her heart began to beat even faster. She no longer cared about eating her food, she wasn't even that hungry anymore. She just wanted to get this horrible situation over with and go back over to her friends.
“What size for the fries would you like?”
The nerves returned, but this time the colt saw this and sighed, starting to feel bad for the nervous little mare that stood in front of him with the most self-conscious expression on her face. It was such a sad scene it made the cashier re-think the irritation he held against the mare currently suffering from the most adorable panic attack in history.
"Aw, I can't stay mad at you." the cashier thought as nearly all of his annoyance waned into nothingness.
He then let out a deep sigh to calm himself before speaking, “You can have a small serving of fries or a large serving of fries.”
Relieved that there were only two choices, both clear-cut, Fluttershy quickly responded.
“Then I'll take the small...please...mister cashier...sir”
The cashier nodded, “Okay, that's good. So for the sandwich and the hay-fries, that’ll be two bits.”
But in reality, the cashier wanted to go, "D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwww."
Fluttershy meekly handed the cashier pony the coins, shrinking in place and looking behind her, expecting to see everypony whispering about her. She saw a few of them looking at her, but they didn’t seem upset, they seemed like they were in their own little world. Even then, the only ones looking at her were her friends. Rainbow Dash’s face was buried in her hoof out of embarrassment for her friend, as she hated to see Fluttershy so scared that she made situations worse than they were.
Twilight just looked at Fluttershy with the upmost concern in her kind eyes.
Fluttershy realized she let one pony’s complaint dictate how she ordered her food. Now she was stuck with something she really didn’t feel like eating. Sure, the idea of a daisy sandwich sounded good before, but after getting herself prepped for a soup she couldn’t help but feel like it was a disappointment to be stuck with a sandwich.
Ashamed by her behavior, Fluttershy trotted away before the cashier could even give her the receipt. Her head was bowed down and her eyes were starting to water a bit as she stood by her friends and sat onto the cold, hard floor. The cashier let out a sigh and crumpled the receipt up before tossing it to the ground and calling "next", which happened to be the colt that got mad at Fluttershy. Of course he was wearing a suit and tie.
Yep, he was living up to the stereotype, one article of clothing at a time.
Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash were concerned about their friend. She looked so downtrodden and miserable from the ordeal she just went through, which was only made so terrible because of her own anxieties.
“Fluttershy, are you okay?”
Fluttershy let out a sigh and shook her head, “I shouldn’t have gotten nervous. I really wanted that soup.”
“You know, you could still probably change your order, if you want to.” Rainbow Dash suggested, much more sympathetic towards her predicament than she had been before.
Fluttershy shook her head again. Twilight raised her hoof, about to say something, when she stopped herself. The sad look in Fluttershy’s eyes was enough to tell her that she most likely wouldn’t want to talk about it. That’s when their order was called. All three ponies grabbed the bags that held their respective foods in their teeth, tossed them into their saddle-bags, they thanked the cashier pony, and made their way out, checking to make sure they had everything they needed.
Once they were outside, sunlight radiated over the three girls. Fluttershy could feel the sorrow she felt earlier start to go away in the brightness of the day. Besides, once she was outside, and she could smell the daisy sandwich from where it was in her saddlebag, the fact that she didn’t get a soup didn’t matter as much. But she was still sad and embarrassed that she couldn’t make up her mind and most likely irritated a good number of ponies. This didn’t go un-noticed by her two concerned friends.
“Fluttershy, do you want to talk?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Fluttershy gave her friend a small nod that was neither happy nor sad, “No, I’m fine now Rainbow Dash."
"Are you sure?" Twilight asked.
"I just wish I didn’t look like an idiot changing my order up as much as I did.”
“Fluttershy you didn’t look like an idiot."
"No you didn't."
"Yes I did, I kept changing my order, I irritated everypony with how long I took, and I..." Fluttershy looked down in shame, "I'm awful."
"No Fluttershy, please don't talk like that. Look, what's done is done. There's no point in beating yourself up over something you can't change.” Twilight said as she placed a reassuring hoof onto her friend’s shoulder. “And you didn't look or sound nearly as bad as you think."
Fluttershy looked up at Twilight with a hopeful smile, "Really?"
Twilight nodded and Fluttershy sighed, "Why was it so hard for me to make up my mind?"
"You just have to learn not to think so much and once you make a decision, don't beat yourself up over it.”
“But all of the soups looked good, I was afraid of getting the wrong one.”
“Well if all of the soups sounded good for you, it doesn’t sound like you could pick a wrong one. You can't pontificate over making the wrong decision; otherwise you could end up making the wrong decision, like ordering a sandwich over soup when you really wanted soup, because you couldn't decide between split pea and vegetable.”
'And tomato basil." Fluttershy said with a chuckle before giving Twilight a small nod in understanding. “I guess I see your point.”
Rainbow Dash trotted over with an encouraging smile on her face as she placed her hoof onto Fluttershy's other shoulder before she spoke up.
“Yeah Fluttershy, don't let yourself get too worked up over making simple decisions like choosing what soup to order. Just do what I do and go with the flow..."
"Maybe not to the extent that you do." Twilight added with a chuckle.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, "Whatever...and try not to overanalyze everything that could go wrong, both with making decisions and worrying about how you look in front of other ponies.”
“Okay, I’ll…I’ll try to work on that. Thanks girls, it means a lot that you're so willing to help me out.”
Rainbow Dash smiled and gave her friend a reassuring pat on the back. “Not a problem.”
"What are friends for?" Twilight added before she pointed to a single tree that was about fifteen feet away, "Come on, let's eat."
The girls all took a seat underneath the tree, the shade cooling them off from the sun’s heat. They then pulled out their individual lunches and prepared to eat. Rainbow Dash took a ravenous bite out of her sandwich. Fluttershy took her bag out and pulled the sandwich out of the bag before she began to eat. She smiled and, deciding not to think about the soup that "could have been" she daintily bit into the sandwich and began to chew.
Her eyes widened as the daisy sandwich hit her tongue, instantly making her forget how much she wanted the soup and was disappointed in getting the sandwich that was now sending her taste buds to a paradise filled with bunnies and gumdrops.
Once Rainbow Dash swallowed her mouthful of food, she turned back to Fluttershy and nudged her playfully.
“Fluttershy, just for the record, I didn't think you were any worse than Miss Obsessive-pants over there.” Rainbow Dash said as she pointed her hoof at Twilight.
Twilight just pulled her sandwich out of the bag when she turned to Rainbow Dash with an insulted expression on her face.
“Hey, I’m not obsessive about food.”
Rainbow Dash snickered, “Ha! Are you kidding? Did you listen to yourself order? It was like you were giving the cashier instructions on how to perform brain surgery instead of making a daisy sandwich.”
“Being particular does not equate with obsessiveness. I’ll admit; I might be obsessed with magic and education…”
“That's an understatement.” Rainbow Dash sneered.
Twilight gave her friend a death-glare, but Rainbow Dash didn’t mind. She just returned the gesture by sticking her tongue out before taking another enormous bite out of her sandwich.
Twilight then continued like she was never been interrupted. “But I am not obsessive when it comes to food.”
Twilight turned her attention back to her sandwich and lifted the top piece of bread. She started to examine the inside when suddenly her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. Her magic disappeared and the sandwich fell to the ground. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash noticed this and started to worry. Twilight’s face turned red her right eye began to twitch, and she started to bear her teeth like an angry dog. She even seemed to growl a little as well.
“Um…Twilight?” Fluttershy asked nervously. “Is...is everything okay? You seem upset.”
“Oh no, Fluttershy. Everything's fine, totally fine......It’s just that somepony put three pieces of lettuce on my sandwich instead of two!”
Twilight stood up so fast it looked like she went airborne for a moment. She lifted the sandwich from the ground with her magic and put it back into the paper bag, which she levitated next to her. “I’m going in.”
“Couldn’t you just take the lettuce off?”
“No! The sandwich has already been tainted with an odd number of lettuce leaves, taking one piece off won't change that! There needs to be order. If there isn't, there's chaos! And if there's chaos, then that means Discord can be freed, and we can't have that! This needs to be taken care of STAT otherwise we'll have cotton candy clouds raining chocolate and buffalo dancing in tutus, and we don't want that, do we!?! Of course not!" Twilight blathered crazily without turning back as she trotted towards the restaurant with the bag holding the sandwich floating next to her.
Her eyes were determined and dilated, and her face was in a scowl that was a perfect mix of anger and pure insanity. Both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were rather surprised and concerned about their friend's behavior. Sure Twilight had some OCD issues and meltdowns like this did happen, but never had she reacted like this over something as mundane as a sandwich. Sure a late friendship report...but a daisy sandwich?? It was like an exaggeration of her character flaws.
Rainbow Dash turned to Fluttershy and pointed at Twilight. “What did I tell you? Obsessed.”
Twilight continued to strut towards the restaurant. Once she reached the glass doors the pushed them in with her magic so hard they almost shattered. Everypony turned to see the enraged pony standing in the door frame, her breathing heavy and her eyes angry.
"Who the hay put three pieces of lettuce on my daisy sandwich!?!"
The cashier, who was still behind the counter, could feel his blood run cold. Everypony around town knew how crazy Twilight could get after the "want it need it" spell incident, coupled with how she recently threatened to turn a local technician that couldn't fix her computer into a mouse. An OCD Twilight was the scariest thing imaginable in Ponyville, something that would make the Boogey Man or Freddy Kruger or Chuck Norris or even Bane quiver in fear just by looking into her crazy, dilated eyes.
It was safe to assume that the cashier’s thought was the same as everypony else's, and that single, universal thought was:
"Oh sweet fancy Celestia we're bucked."
