“What the fuck you bitches looking at?”
Fluttershy’s stuffed animals merely stared back. Those snobs never answered her.
“Stupid cunts.” Smiling in satisfaction, she returned to cleaning her bedroom.
Unbeknownst to her friends, Fluttershy had recently developed a great affinity for swearing and was quite the pottymouth in private. The past few weeks, she’d found herself cussing more and more. She could probably rival a drunken sailor on shore leave screwing his sister’s bisexual marefriend, when she really got in the mood. It was becoming very addicting, but she tried not to worry much about it.
However, the timid pegasus was still much too (flutter)shy to do so in front of others; she worried what everypony would say of her. Oh, the things they’d think about her!
She often envied Rainbow Dash, that pony would say anything without the slightest hesitation. Or Applejack, who wasn’t above slipping in a swear to accentuate her sentences. Even Rarity, the high queen of etiquette herself, occasionally uttered a mild profanity!
But Fluttershy wasn’t just a social swearer, no, she was into the harder stuff. She got a sense of depraved pleasure from using the dirtiest words she could find. Cuss words just had such flavor to them, and there was so much variety!
Fuck. Her favorite and truly a beautiful word. It can mean so many things, fit in so many places, and still evoke so much emotion. It made her feel poetic and free.
Cunt. Another good one and also underappreciated. Incredibly sexual, just thinking this profanity got her feeling horny.
Shit. Nothing could quite express that feeling of disgust like this word, it’s just so nasty. So exhilarating, this too got her little flutter-libido going.
Ass. Well, Fluttershy didn’t really use that one. It made her feel like a mule.
Oh wow, her little monologue had taken up the entire cleaning session. “Fucking balls,” she muttered, happily prancing downstairs. Hmm, this railing is looking a little rough. Better sand the cock off that block, she noted to herself as she headed for the kitchen.
However, her journey was interrupted as Angel speedily hopped into the cottage, leaving the door wide open. He mimed something urgently, probably that Scootaloo was trapped in a well again. Good for her.
“Fucking shut the dildo door, Angel bunny. Don’t be a dickhead,” Fluttershy gently said, giggling all the while.
The little bunny glared at her and signed “WTF?”
She smiled back and waved. Angel facepalmed at this dork and left the way he came, door slamming shut. Satisfied, the kindhearted pegasus began her afternoon rounds checking on all the little animals.
She went out back to visit Comrade Gopher in his burrow. The poor critter had caught a case of the bourgeoisies and was hoarding food for the winter.
Knocking on his little door, she greeted, “Um, what is good, my zigga? Tee hee.”
Comrade Gopher blinked. Then he threw a nut at her and retreated to his hole, wondering why he still lived here.
“Okay. I’m so glad you’re feeling better.” Well she isn’t going to swear every sentence. That wouldn't be classy.
Next up was the squirrel family. Their metabolisms were so fast that Fluttershy had to feed them thrice a day. And, um, whenever they demanded food.
They scurried out in anticipation as she lugged the hefty bag of food toward their tree. Breathing raggedly, she poured the food and rested on her haunches, waiting for them to eat.
Tentatively, one of the squirrels came forward and nibbled on some of the food.
He spat it on Fluttershy’s face.
“Oh, does your food taste like bullshit, Squirreliam? We better fix the fuck out of that.. um, if that’s okay with you.”
Squirreliam pointed to the food bag. She followed his claw and examined the burlap sack. It was cat food.
“Oh buttfuck, that’s just my luck!” she cutely exclaimed. Then she went to drag it back in the house and get the right bag, annoyed at this regular occurrence.
The rest of Fluttershy’s day had gone well, and now she was having dinner with her friends at PonyPerkins as per their usual Wednesday routine. The timid pegasus was feeling particularly good as she’d had cause to use some of her favorite expletives today.
Indeed, Fluttershy was feeling so ecstatic that she boldly ordered a daisy sandwich with extra mayonnaise.
They pleasantly chattered on, talking about the past week, and their waiter soon arrived with their food, carefully distributing the plates. He gave Rarity her salad, Applejack her apple ‘n tomato sandwich, Dash her nachos, Pinkie a fry-log cabin, Twilight an einstein omelette, and lastly Fluttershy received an enormous bean burrito.
He plopped the five pound monstrosity in front of Fluttershy, and she stared at it. It looked back.
“Oh... thank you.” She gingerly took a bite.
The stallion politely addressed the group. “Will there be anything else this evening?”
“Nah, we’re good.”
“Oh, this looks so yummy!” Pinkie exclaimed.
Twilight was busy measuring the dimensions of the party pony’s meal.
However, Rarity was observant (and suffered mild paranoia). “Hold on, Fluttershy, I believe you actually ordered a sandwich?”
The gentlecolt turned to Shutterfly. “My apologies. Would you like me to take it back, miss?”
Relieved she hadn’t had to make a fuss, she said, “Oh, um, yes please. This shit tastes like fucking mule pussy.”
The waiter froze in shock, mouth gaping. Her friends gawked with similar expressions, though Pinkie was also chewing on a cupcake.
Fluttershy looked up in confusion. Then she went pale as her words came back to her, and the others burst out in hysterical laughter. The waiter quietly left.
“Oh my.. um... Aahh!,” she yelped, diving under the table as they convulsed and guffawed. Their howls drew some looks from other tables.
Struggling to regain her breath, Applejack put the matter to rest. “Hey, c’mon out from there, sugarcube. Ain’t nothing to be afraid of.”
“Yeah Fluttershy, everything’s alright! In fact, we were expecting it,” declared Twittle Spittle.
That got her out from the table. Cautiously peeking her head up, she asked, “You.. you were expecting me to swear?”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Fluttershy, darling, we’ve been watching you almost slip out a ‘fuck’ for two weeks now. It’s really been quite entertaining.”
“Yeah, it’s been super-duper funny watching you! We don’t care if you like naughty words, silly!”
“Though we didn’t think your language would be so, uh, colorful.”
“Mule pussy, that’s priceless!” Everyone glared at Rainbow Dash.
“Oh my.. You all knew..” Fluttershy cringed, shrinking behind her mane even further.
Her friends all shared concerned glances, worried she might feel betrayed. The tension was thick in the air as they waited for her reaction.
Dash took the initiative. “So.. uh, Fluttershy, is everything cool? You’re okay?”
Very steadily, Fluttershy rose back to her seat. Taking a breath, she looked straight at them.
“Yes... It’s just I feel like such a stupid motherfucker.”
They all shared a laugh at that, and Twilight would probably write about this in one of her stupid diaries. Seriously, who the fuck cites sources in their diary?
