It's your fault.
The words ring in my head over and over again. I can't get them out, and I can't talk any sense into myself. It can't be my fault, it just can't.
But I know it is. Fluttershy would never lie.
I'm so sorry, Rainbow Dash. But...
I blink, pleading for myself to stop before I hear it again. If only I had known what she was going to say. I wouldn't have asked her to tell me. I wouldn't have said that it wasn't going to break my heart. I would still love myself.
A tear drops as I hear my words on repeat.
Tell me! Come on, Fluttershy. It can't be that bad. It won't hurt. I'm tough.
Oh... but, are you sure? I don't thi-
"NO!" I yell, hooves over my ears and tears flowing steadily down my cheeks. I open my eyes to see a few pegasi staring at me, so I glare daggers back at them until I'm all alone again, no stares in my direction. I resort to a whisper, "No, no, no, don't demand from her! She's such a great friend, and she just wanted to keep your feelings safe..."
Unlike me.
It was my fault, it definitely was. I didn't even care about Fluttershy's precious time. I didn't care that she had just about as much work as I did, I just straight-up demanded that she do something. I'm a terrible friend, and she isn't. She hesitated to even say-
Your fault, your fault, your fault
I break down into pieces again, sobbing silently so that I don't attract unwanted attention. Fluttershy would understand. If only I didn't make her scared. I feel my head rise, although I'm sure that I don't want to raise my head. I don't want to be seen in such a terrible state, and I definitely don't want to get myself out of this terrible state. I deserve to be punished.
Except I'm not. My head is still lifting, and, and...
It's being lifted forcefully? I open my eyes, wipe the tears, and wait for my vision to straighten out. It's a pony.
I groan at her presence, and she sits there, unmoving, waiting for me to explain. Maybe she's just here for comfort. Which I would like, but I definitely don't deserve to have. "Go away."
She smiles. "I can't. You need me to be here. Go ahead, just talk about it."
I glare at her. There's several reasons as to why I didn't want her being here, and this is probably the main one. She won't leave until she can find a way to help somepony feel better. "But I don't want to feel better, Fluttershy. I don't deserve it."
"And why is that?" She waits so long for an answer that I think I can bare it even less than she can. I shed a tear and fly off, too fast for even her. I know she badly wants to go after me, but one thing we've learned, and especially her, is to leave somepony alone when they need it. And this is one of those times when that pony needs some alone time.
Some very serious, very sad, alone time. That's just what I need. So I sit on a cloud, out of Ponyville Borders, for about an hour. All alone. At least until somepony joins me. I turn with a scowl to my right saying, "I swear, I don't-"
I stop myself as I see Fluttershy, gracefully landing right next to me. She smiles, one of her nervous smiles. Am I the reason she looks so nervous? I'm such a terrible friend. I sigh and stare at her, smiling a nervous smile of my own. It's almost dark. We both stare at the sunset in silence. This time, surprisingly, the emptiness doesn't bother me. "Go on," she finally says. "Tell me."
I look at the sunset for one last time before I can bare to look at her again. "You're such a perfect friend, Fluttershy. I can't believe I was the opposite to you. When I demanded to know why you were so shy, you had an answer, and a perfectly reasonable one, at that. I forced you to tell me, and I did it so rudely and boastfully, and you were nothing but kind back. You were scared to hurt my feelings, scared to tell me that it was my fault. Just like any good friend would be. And I was scared to admit it, and, and, I'm sorry for yelling at you and making you leave.
"After you left, I had time, lots of time. And with that time, I looked through all our childhood photos. It filled me with memories. I loved it when we were young, but I can see how that time together pushed us apart. My ego pushed yours away, and you became shy. I stood up for you so often that you didn't stand up for yourself. I-"
"You were a great friend to me, Rainbow Dash," she tells me softly, smiling. "Sometimes the good things can be monsters in disguise. As a foal, I thought it was fine. But growing up, I realize you should've let me grow up, even if you were only trying to be loyal."
I sniffle. "I know, I know. I can see where sometimes I can go wrong."
Fluttershy rests her hoof on my shoulder, wrapping her wing around me. It reminds me of a time after I got kicked out of flight school. Her wing was wrapped around me like it is now, and I was crying. But she didn't seem to mind.
It's okay, Rainbow! Really, it is. I may be a timid rule follower, but I dropped out of flight school far before you did. Maybe you did a good thing, being rebellious.
I sigh. "You know, even if I make mistakes, I'm glad I have an amazing friend like you to forgive me."
Author's Note
I'm sorry this is so short! I had a limit for a contest :P
