“Aw YEAH! I’m totally awesome!”
Indeed she was, because the electric-blue rainbow-maned pegasus zipping through the clouds was none other than Rainbow cloud-kicking Dash! And she didn’t just kick clouds- she made them too! As evidenced by the prismatic poot back-blasting out of her blue velvety asshole. The pegasus was flying through the clouds aided along not only by her perfectly primed wings- but the considered helping of deviled eggs she had for breakfast. Her overactive butt was belting out a non-stop discharge of rainbows, straight out of her asshole! The rainbow-streak was only interrupted by the occasional clap of her ass cheeks, which of course provided miniature sonic booms that radiated out from her ass crack.
“Aw yeah! I’m rocket-powered! BOOYAH! Or should I say booty-yah?”
The pegasus fist-pumped into the air, tilting her sunglasses upwards and giving a wink to an imaginary camera. Awesome was practically her middle name- actually it was as of last Tuesday when she had it legally changed. She wasn’t doing anything of much importance besides stroking her own obscenely massive ego. Simply free-flying with no routine or purpose except to soak it all in. Feeling the wind running through her mane, and another sort of wind running through her tail, she was totally high on life.
“Totally made the right mistake of blowing off that stupid Wonderbolts funeral! Haha! I mean literally BLOWING IT OFF! Gyahah! I cracked myself up! Butt-cracked that is!”
Actually it may be more accurate to say she was high off her own farts- and in more ways than one! As you can probably tell, the mare had an ego the size of her asscheeks- which was of course massive. Every inch of toned, sweaty muscle, every single vein running through her body was pumped full of the most potent, virile, impossibly potent CONFIDENCE! That anyone had ever seen… well except maybe Vinyl Scratch, but still!
“First you see me ripping out a Sonic Boom- I’ve got my guitar shreddin’ up the latest tune!”
Although she had to shout to speak over the deafening roar of a horse breaking the sound barrier (and the sonic roar of her non-stop rainbow ass-rip) the mare had begun to sing her own theme song. A masturbatory self-serving poem that she wrote herself. The likes of which would make the most self-entitled, egotistical Onlyfans users in the world green with envy. She begun flying skywards. Dash was aiming herself vertically to gain as much altitude as she could muster with the help of her flapping wings and… jet-propulsion… eugh… more like jet revulsion…
“There is nothing you can do to beat me… I’m so good that you can’t defeat me!”
It was a pleasant day in Equestria, although Rainbow was flying much too fast to take note of it. Why stop to smell the flowers when you just blasted every flower into ash with your rainbow fartgas? Everywhere ponies were bustling and busy with their day, everyone had somewhere to be and something to do! All except Rainbow Dash of course! One last soul in a little toilet bowl!
Er… fish bowl! Rainbow’s sunglasses flew off her face, not surprising but always a shame! She swore she spent more money on buying new shades than for paying rent. Who could blame her though? Sunglasses made her look cool! And nothing was more important than looking cool! She had already tried taping them, and gluing them… maybe staples would work next time?
“Yeah I’m awesome! Take caution! Watch out for me cuz I’m awesome as I wanna be!”
The pegasus could be seen all throughout Equestria, a lil blue speck with a long trail of rainbow aerosol behind her. Although that was a special kinda “chemtrail”. One belted out by her own butthole- who needs a rainbow factory when you’ve got all the rainbows you need right there? She was speeding one way, and then the next, grazing the clouds and racing the wind! Speaking of wind, Rainbow’s gut was still gurgling away with clouds of fartgas. More fuel in the tank, and propulsion for the ride…
“You’re just standin’ in my way! So uh… make yourself useful and feed me some hay!”
The airheaded (maybe fart-headed?) Pegasus couldn’t even remember the lyrics to her own song. Of course this didn’t stop her from bobbing her head to the imaginary beat, and providing her own chorus from under her breath. She was nearing the pinnacle of her climb, even the great Rainbow Dash ™ couldn’t handle the scarcity of oxygen in the higher levels of the atmosphere.
“Yeah! Something-something! Something cuz I’m awesome as I wanna be!”
Although of course, she had plenty of her own “air” to bring with her, such lung-filling gas would prove downright lethal if you tried to rely on it as your only source of breath. She learned that the hard way when she provided a new Wonderbolts recruit with a back-mounted oxygen tank to breathe from… full of 100% rainbow fart. It wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t handle the sheer awesomeness of her fumes! She made a mental note to twerk on his grave after that boring funeral was over.
After she was several hundred feet into the air- she dove directly downwards! On a crash-course with the grassy fields below, she was streaking downwards as far as she could. Her lips blew back to reveal her pearly whites, and her eyelids peeled back to reveal streaks of tears jetting out of her eyes.
“I got sick beats you could never hope to play! When it comes to making music…. I’m the ruler!”
A shit-eating smirk crossed her face, and she bit into her lip. Her eyes practically rolled into the back of her head… her favorite lyric was coming up. No matter what she said, nothing made Dash feel better about herself than… her catchphrase. It was her icon, her identity, without it… she was nothing. Her heart was beating in her chest, her stomach gurgled. This was going to be a big one… she took a deep gulp of air…
“You wish you couLD BE 20% COOLER!!!”
Seconds before hitting the ground, she screwed her eyes shut and pushed her hardest to fart. Her wings flew open and she pulled up, flying horizontally, the sudden sharp change of direction would’ve easily snapped a lesser pony’s neck- but she was Rainbow Dash! And all that momentum centered right on her center of mass- HER GIGANTIC BUTT! Her ass clapped, and dear Celestia it CLAPPED! It was a super-sonic ass clap that melded with the colossal fart she was ripping at the moment.
Everything in a 10 mile radius was instantly annihilated in the atomic rainbow-colored mushroom cloud of Rainbow’s signature move… The Sonic Rainfartboom. …Named by Rainbow Dash herself if it wasn’t obvious. The explosion was devastating, a scorching nuclear hellfire rushed out from ground zero, vaporizing every building in the way, uprooting trees that have been growing for hundreds of years, and utterly cremating any pony unfortunate enough to be in the direct blast.
The explosion could be seen from space. Thankfully she was doing it in an area she didn’t deem important, just some backwater called Ponyville, in the dead center of town. Generations of history and culture vaporized in an instant, hundreds of lives were lost in Rainbow’s tummy-fueled terrorist attack. All the citizens' warning was a sudden deafening roar of what sounded like… a fart? And then a wall of rainbow fartgas vaporizing everything they ever loved.
All the members of the mane 6 (except the only one that mattered) were instantly killed in the initial blast. Twilight’s tree-library uprooted and thrown to the wind, the last thing the purple unicorn saw was every single book being burnt to ash. All the wallpaper of Rarity’s boutique suddenly peeled off, and all of her dresses had melted into piles of goop. They were coated in a rainbow-sheen like the sun on a parking-lot oil spill.
Sugarcube Corner, if it survived, would’ve had to change its name to something more appropriate. As every cake, bread, and confectionery in the building quickly spoiled and rot into something more resembling baked-bads. They were green and sour, rotten by Rainbow’s fart, and as Pinkie oversaw her bakery turning into a brap-ery… her mane deflated, and she saw the wall of rainbow fartgas coming towards her.
“Wow… rainbows really do taste spicy…” Her last words before she and her building were atomized.
In reality, the booty-nuke had vaporized all of Ponyville and its surroundings in an instant… but those living on the boundaries got just a moment longer to comprehend their fates. Sweet Apple Acres was about to become Sour Apple Acres. Applejack was out doing her usual work, bucking apples, trimming the trees, checking for any signs of disease or wood-rot in her trees.
“Hm… well sure 'nuff seems ta be growin 'bout as well as an appul tree c'n!”
Applejack was smiling, full of hope and optimism, overseeing her orchard from a vantage point. She pulled an apple straight from the tree, admiring her reflection in the apple’s shine. Suddenly her expression turned for the worst! It was all wrinkled, brown and muddy!
“Gyah!” She threw the apple to the ground, where it splattered into a pile of brown mush “What in the-” Applejack looked around, every apple in the orchard was rotting, turning into inedible mush and splattering onto the soil below. It was something out of a nightmare
“No! No this can’t be!”
Soon enough she saw all the trees wilting and dying, not only were the apples dying, but the trees themselves. The leaves turning brown and the trunks leaning over. She fell to the floor, tears streaking down her face. Only for a moment did she wonder what caused this, then she got her answer.
Finally, after the entire town of Ponyville was wiped out, there was one pony left. A yellow buttery little pegasus mare named Fluttershy. She was on the very edge of town- on the edge of the Everfree forest in fact! Although after this they might rename it to the Everfart forest. Regardless, the sonicfartboom came for her as well, it didn’t discriminate, and Fluttershy’s cottage was just on the edge of the blast zone. However Fluttershy herself, was just slightly outside of it!
“Lalalala… oh these ones look good!”
The pegasus resisted the urge to twerk as she kneeled down to pluck some mushrooms from the soil. She was in the Everfree forest itself, plucking some fungal treats from the forest floor. She had quite a few friends to feed after all- she dropped it in her basket and trotted back home.
What had greeted her wasn’t the many animal friends she had cared for and loved dearly over the years- but instead sat various heaps of ash and skeletons.. Both of which were wafting with rainbow stinklines. There were even a few puffs of feathers and fur, suggesting that she was just a nanosecond too late to comfort her friends one last time. She dropped the basket on the floor, her mouth agape, she barely had time to register what she was seeing before she too was consumed by the rainbow ass-blast.
Magic is a strange thing, and a technicolor pegasus doing a sonic rainboom while ripping major ass is a much stranger thing. Something happened to Fluttershy unlike the rest of her friends. She wasn’t vaporized and killed swiftly, no, she had survived, but she wished she hadn’t.
Her eyes were screwed tightly shut, only to re-open after the rainbow fartgas washed over her. She opened them to see… in front of her was a yellow toilet bowl? What? Had the blast knocked her backwards, or knocked a toilet into her? She tried to move, only for the toilet seat to wobble up and down in front of her.
Panic set in, as her eyes darted wildly around her, what happened!? She couldn’t move! She tried desperately to wiggle and move- but nothing! Nothing until she instinctively tried to swallow, and suddenly she heard the sound of flushing. She went cross-eyed as a mouth-full of dirty toilet water flushed down her throat.
Fluttershy realized what had happened, hot streaks of tears raced down her cold porcelain body. She had become a toilet. A sapient toilet that could feel, taste, smell, and see everything around her. She was still just outside her cottage, being given front-row seats for staring at the ash-piles and skeletons that were once her pets, they were her only company until she heard- yes! Wings flapping! Someone to help her! Reverse whatever horrible magic happened to her!
Unfortunately for the pegasus-turned-toilet, the flapping wings belonged to none other than Rainbow Dash ™ herself. Whether she knew what her sonicfartboom had done to Fluttertoilet or not, it didn’t matter. She didn’t care about anyone else, she was Rainbow Dash of course! And as that wing-flapping grew nearer and nearer, it suddenly stopped, and two massive cheeks of rainb-ass slammed down onto the toilet seat!
Rainbow breathed out a sigh of relief, leaning back against the water-tank so Fluttershy could only see the sweaty crack of Rainbow’s ass… which was still wafting out rainbow fumes… and what appeared to be scorch marks? Fluttershy could only whimper as she heard Rainbow’s gurgling gut…
“Aah yeah… Ponyville just got 20% stinkier in 10 seconds flat..."
Rainbow Dash pulled out a pair of black sunglasses from nowhere, and looked directly at the viewer with a smug grin. She winks.
"It looks like Fluttershy's day is about to get..."
She puts the sunglasses on her face.
"20% shittier!"
The camera pans out on the scene of Rainbow Dash violently shitting into Fluttertoilet. The yellow toilet's bloodcurdling screams of agony are drowned out by a cacophony of bowl-rattling flatulence.
