The psychotic gentlegriff

“This Is where I live Anubis and this is where you’ll be living for the next month.”

“How much does Celestia pay you for being the Captain of the guard?!”

“Hahahahah!! Don’t be mistaken Anubis, this is my family home. My mother and father live here and my two sisters drop by every now and then.” Okay that makes sense, there’s no way he could pay for all this. It looks like a small castle and I’m going to live here for a month, then what? Where am I going to live afterwards? Probably the castle, but I need to think of a way to make money?

Graceful trotted towards the front gate and opened them up, I followed him and wondered why we didn’t just fly over them. We then made are way to the front door and Graceful unlocked it with a gothic style key that he pulled out of fin air.

“So are you parents nice?”

“Yes they’re nice, just a little too nice but you shouldn’t see them too often.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because despite their age, they are out of the house most days of the week, even though they are retired their still very lively.”

“Oh well good for them.”

“Yeah….” He didn’t seem too happy with it for some reason.

“Why’d you say it like that.”

“Because they should be taking it easy, they’re not as young as they used to be and I don’t want anything to happen to them.” I see his point but from what I’ve heard they’re living life to the fullest, in this situation there isn’t any right answer to give. On one claw he doesn’t want to lose the but on the other they want to make the most out of the time they have left.

“Oh I see, you don’t want to lose them.”

“Exactly! But I can’t just tell them to stop having fun their my parents.”

I want to tell him that he could ask them to take it easy for a bit but I really have no idea of this family dynamic or if he’s just being an overly concerned son. I’ll just have to roll with it and make a suggestion later, which I’ve been doing for my entire time I’ve been in Equestria.

“Sorry Graceful but I don’t know how to help.”

“That’s fine Anubis, I didn’t expect you to know what to do. No offence.”

“Non taken.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Any way let’s get inside before it rains, the weather ponies have planned a thunderstorm for the night.”

“They can do that?”

“Yes, did you not know…. Sorry I forgot about your past.”

“It’s fine, there’s a reason why it call the past because it can’t be changed but can be left behind.”

“I’ve said this before but you’re oddly mature for a seventeen year old.” I just gave a dismissive wave of my claw and followed him into the house. I was in awe at the sight of the interior, it was grand. Gold framed paintings and portraits lined the walls, the wallpaper was an art piece in its own right. It was a soft blue and pink.

I was then nudge by Graceful and stumbled slightly, we then made our way towards the stairs and I then thought about the lack of maids or butlers. “Hey Graceful, where are all the cleaners? This place is immaculately clean.”

“We don’t have any.”

“What?! So who cleans this place then?”

“Me…. And now you.” The smug smirk he had, told me that I was in for a long agonising month.

I muttered under my breath. “Fuck.”

We made our way upstairs and took a right, then we went all the way down to the end of the corridor and Graceful then opened the door to where I presumed I would stay. But when I walked in, it looked like it was currently occupied by another. “Um Graceful, I think this is somepony’s room?”

“Yes it’s my room, I’ll get a spare bed for you in a second just let me make dinner.”

“Why am I not staying in a guest room or something?”

“Nope, the princess ordered me to keep an eye on you at all times but I can’t do that when I’m sleeping so this is the next best thing.”

“I’m not going to do any thing dangerous in my sleep!”

“That’s too bad, I hope you don’t mind snoring.”

“You kidding me right, like you can’t be serious?”

“Oh I’m serious and we don’t have any meat in the fridge. So you’re just going to have to eat some hay fries and cheese pizza for tonight. I’ll sort something out for you tomorrow and make yourself at home, I’ll be downstairs in the kitchen and the bathroom is the door just across the hall if you need it. Bye.”

“Wait…. And he’s gone.” Well I guess I’ll look through his stuff, I mean he’s got to have something I can use as dirt against him.

I’ve been looking for about 5 minutes and I’ve found nothing. “Aargh I give up, there’s nothing here.”

I guess I could go freshen up before dinner, so I went across the hall and knocked on the door opposite. I gave it a few seconds before going in, I emerged from the bathroom a couple of minutes later and made my way downstairs. I sat myself down at the foot of the stairs or would it be hoof of the stairs now? Anyway I chose to sit here because it would save Graceful a few seconds, instead of having to go all the way upstairs to get me.

“Anubis, hello? Anypony home, i mean griff.”

“Oh hey Graceful, is dinner ready?”

“Um yes but you were just looking off into the distance, you all good bud?”

“Of course I’m good, why would you even ask?”

“It’s just I’ve seen…. Never mind Anubis, the dining room is just through those doors over there.” He pointed with his hoof to doors that were next to a glass cabinet that had a broken sword inside of it. I didn’t understand the markings or care all that much, I walked through them and noticed that there was only two plates on the table. They looked identical so I just took a seat and waited for Graceful.

He trotted in and took a seat across from me and started eating immediately, I was a little confused but I chose to ignore it and dig in.

“I’m surprised that you waited for me Anubis, I expected you to be done with your food before I got here.”

“I didn’t want to seem rude.”

“Really because you’re quite rude like 60 percent of the time.”

“I’m not that rude, just very blunt. So what did you go off and do, that took you 3 whole minutes?”

“I was sorting you bedding out, you’re welcome by the way.”

“Thanks I guess, so what are hay fries made from?”

“Clues in the name Anubis. You should give them a try, they’re really good.”

They’re made from hay but why? Can’t they just make normal fries, i mean they have chips and crisps. So why no french fries? Now that I think about it, I have seen anything that remotely comes close to a full English breakfast. Please tell me hash browns exist here?

“Ok I’ll try them but do you know what a hash brown is Graceful?” I had my claws crossed in hope.

“What? A hash brown, never heard of such a thing.”

And with that my hopes were dashed through the window but maybe if I describe it to him, there might be something similar. “It’s and bunch of chunks of potato that’s been shaped into an oval disc or a triangle and put in oil to fry until crispy. Ring any bells?”

“Nope but sounds good, you should suggest the idea to the castle chefs.”

Like hell I’m going to suggest it to them, they’ll probably try putting hay in it. “Yeah I might, by the way these hay fries aren’t bad but they’re not amazing.”

“Okay whatever you say Anubis, I know you like them.”

“So what’s the plan for tomorrow, anything fun?”

“Well we’re going to get up and eat breakfast, get ready and make our way to the castle where we are going to run some basic drills. I’ll also have you clean the barracks as a punishment, if you do a good enough job I might teach you how to defend yourself properly.”

“(Sigh) I should have known that this was the real reason I’m under your care.” It was going to be exhausting but learning how to fight in this body would be good because up in till now I’ve been getting extremely lucky.

“Hey a bit of training with do you some good, you’ve gotten taller but you’re still thin.”

“Thanks, and here I thought I looked healthy.”

“You do. A lot better than when we found you but I’m just saying that if you want to impress any hens, you’re gonna not want to look like you’re starving.”

“I see your point but what I don’t see is the hens I’m going to be impressing, I only see ponies in this city.”

“Hahahahah you’re joking right? The griffon princess, she’s not that much older than you and from what the griffon guards are saying she’s quite the looker.” He proceeded to wiggle his eyebrows in a suggestive fashion.

“I spoke with her today but I’m not all that interested in her and she doesn’t seem to be interested in me either.”

“Dude you can’t give up that easily, I mean you look nothing like the other griffs, so that means you’re exotic.”

“She thinks I have mental health issues.” I deadpanned

“Mental health issues? I don’t know what that means.”

Is mental health not a common thing here, no Tender said that the castle has therapists so they know of it but just how much is known? “She thinks that I’m crazy.”

“Oh um ouch, why?”

“Doesn’t matter, I don’t find her all that interesting.”

“Because you don’t know her.”

“Because I don’t want to know her, how did we even get on this subject?”

“Because I’m going to get some muscle on your bones, so you get yourself a special somepony…. I meant griffon.”

“I won’t lie, I’d like to be a bit bigger but if looking buff works so well, where’s your special somepony old timer?”

“As the captain of the royal guard I have a public image to uphold.”

“Yeah, that’s a cool excuse bro. Unless…. No don’t tell me, you’re in to stallions?”

“No, what even gave you that idea?”

“Just a guess.” Judging by his reaction he’s not.

“Nope, I’ve got my sights on the most beautiful mare in all of Equestria, she has the sweetest smile and the cutest giggle. Her mane is as blue as the ocean and….”

“Ok I get it, you’re in love. So have you gotten anywhere with her.”

“Heheh um well, I think she’s into me but I’m a little too nervous to ask her out.”

I placed my elbows on the table and leaned against my claws. “Nervous?”

“Ok I’m terrified of her saying no, I mean we’re friends but I’ve given hints that I like her.”

“You’ve given hints, why don’t you just tell her?”

“You try and tell the pony you like that you love them. I just get this feeling of dread whenever I go to confess my feelings.”

“Well I’ve always been blunt but I’ve never felt like I’ve fallen in love before.”

“Well believe me it simultaneously the most exciting and terrifying feeling ever. It so powerful and yet fragile at the same time.”

“It sounds confusing.”

“It is.”

“So when do you normally see her?”

“Before work, she works at this coffee shop on the way to the castle and my days off.”

“Ok well I guess you’ll just have to deal with me being in the background of your little dates, remember princess’s orders.” I knew the smile on my beak was more than obvious.

“What!? No you’ll be staying here.”

“What here? Where I could get myself hurt or even worse, oh what would Celestia say if she found out I got injured because you were thinking with your second head.”

“Wh…. No that’s…. Agh, I’m going to make you pay for that Anubis and I know just how to do it.”

“Aren’t I already being punished?”

“Shut up and eat your food.”

“Yes sir.” At this point I was pretty proud of myself but now that I think about it I’m being more childish than I normally am. It might be a side effect of becoming a seventeen year old griffon, my brain is still developing so I might gain new personality traits. I used to be more cynical and heartless before my death, now I’m more spontaneous and social. Very interesting.

We finished our food and went to bed, I didn’t have a toothbrush so I just done my business and when to bed. Graceful said he’ll get me a toothbrush tomorrow.

“Good night Anubis.”

“(Yawn) yeah good night Graceful.”