The psychotic gentlegriff

Anubis’s POV

After I cleaned up the mess we made, I made my way to the balcony and looked towards the glass dome in the distance. My curiosity told me to go and check it out but I couldn’t just fly over, especially with how likely it is that somecreature would see me…. But I could climb along the wall to the dome whilst blending in with the castle walls.

“Argh no I shouldn’t, I’ll wait until after dinner…. But it can’t hurt to just take a quick look…. Ffffuck it I’ll leave a note.”

I wrote a note so she wouldn’t panic when she sees I’m gone and an extended my bone blades and began to dig my claws into the white stone walls. I shimmied my way across and then climbed up to the roof, now blending my coat to match the roof I crawled across to the mountain and snuck over to the dome. I tried looking in but all I could see was vibrant plants, nothing that could have coursed a brilliant flash of fire.

“So what was it then? I need to know.” I started looking for an entrance and found a completely unguarded door that led into the structure that I had deduced to be a green house of sorts.

As for the lack of security, I believe it to be due to it being so far out of the way. Of course Celestia wouldn’t need guards to protect it because nopony has ever thought about going here.

“Mhmmmm there’s a lock.” I pushed it and the door opened. “….That’s unlocked, sigh* that’s just pointless.”

Upon entering the green house I noticed that it reminded me of a jungle, the trees that block out sunlight, the vines and an abundance of exotic flowers, fruits. As I wondered deeper I became aware of a presence watching me, my head darted around but I found nothing.

The feeling of unease was getting worse as I searched frantically for who or what exactly was staring at me. Then a loud screech caught me off guard and I saw a flash of fire shoot passed me, i jumped away and took cover in some bushes.

I had no idea what had tried to attack me but I wasn’t trying to get scorched again, I may be able to heal myself but I can still feel the pain and burning is far from pleasant.

It’s went awfully quiet and I decided to make my escape from this pyromaniac that Celestia has kept in a green house full of flammable plants. Jumping out of the bush and sprinting to where I thought was the door, the fire throwing fuck face attack me again and again. Forcing me to dodge constantly, when I made it to the glass wall I realised that this wasn’t the way out and with nowhere to hide. I got hit in the side of my stomach, throwing me into the dirt.

Getting back to my claws, I ran clock wise. Dodging fiery projectiles and shrubbery as I frantically looked for the exit. As I jumped over a precariously placed rock, I saw it. My way out.

As I approach the door I slammed myself into it and it didn’t budge, so I quickly got up and pulled but it wasn’t opening. Before I could think of something else, I was hit over the top of the head with something solid enough to daze me. That was followed up by a barrage of pounding on my skull.

“Philomena!! Get off him, that’s extremely rude young lady.”

The one called Philomena stop hitting me and I proceeded to get up. “Heheh um so…. Fancy seeing you here…. Lovely garden you have up here but very hostile company.”

“Sigh* firstly, thanks for trying to clean up your mess but you missed a few spots. Secondly this is Philomena and she is a phoenix, ps she likes to play pranks and lastly. How did you get up here?”

“Umm about that…. I climbed here and when you say phoenix, do you mean rising from the ashes phoenix?”

“You did what!?!? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is, especially when you can’t fly!”

“I used my spikes to help, so I had a really good grip…. so about the phoenix.” Celestia cut him off.

“No! I don’t care how safe you say it was, I told you to stay away from any edges until your feathers grow back completely.”

“Oooooh yeah…. I remember now, look I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, it’s just that you were sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you up…. Hey but I left you a note, that’s got to count for something?”

“Look I don’t really care that you climbed the castle…. It’s the fact that I awoke to find you gone, Anubis Grimgost!”

“Oh fuck….” Anubis began to sweat, as to why? He didn’t know if it was because the temperature was rising or if it was that Celestia was really mad at him.

“Yes as you so kindly put it, oh fuck indeed…. In fact, find your own way down since you’re so good at climbing!” Celestia let out an angry snort and flew off, leaving the ignorant griff to feel like shit for making her upset.

“Fffuck, I knew I should have stayed…. I didn’t mean too…. don’t look at me like that.” The phoenix shook her head at him.

“Fuck you, you attacked me for no reason…. likes to play pranks my ass, how’s trying to peck my brains out a joke?”

The phoenix just stared at him before flying off into the tree canopy, leaving the frustrated griff to drag himself out. “Sigh* but I even told her where I was?”

———————————————————————

A very angry Alicorn’s POV

I slammed onto the balcony and stormed my way into my bedroom, I was so unbelievably mad at him.

“Aargh!!!!!!!!!! Why’s he so frustratingly smart but moronic at the same time!!!!!!”

SMACK!* Crash!*

I slammed my hooves into my table and it exploded into splinters, I was breathing heavily from the rage.

“Calm down Celestia, you’re better than this. He probably doesn't even know what he did wrong…. But he should, i mean who just goes and disappears after mounting you. Just leaving behind a note that says gone to see the dome!”

Knock* Knock*

“Sigh* please, come in.” Captain Sky trotted in.

“Your highness, is everything alr….” She looked at the destroyed remains of the table and gulped. “Are you alright princess?”

“I’m fine…. Just had a little accident with the coffee table….” Sky gave Celestia a knowing look and the princess’s calm, composed mask fell. “Sigh* alright, I’m upset….”

“M-may I ask what about?”

“Huff* Anubis! He’s made me so angry and I don’t know why? Well I know why but I don’t understand why I’m so mad, I’m normally better than this at controlling my emotions.”

“Ohhh so that’s why the temperature has increased…. that griff’s gonna pay.” She whispered that last part.

“Has it?! Oh no….” She lit up her horn. “There, all better but as I was saying he…. Just left me whilst I was sleeping.”

“….that’s it?”

“….no but…. Sigh* we had sex and afterwards I took a little nap and yes he tried to clean up his mess but then he just up and disappeared! He left a note that said (gone to see the dome.) nothing else!”

“What!!!! No he didn’t, he just left you alone after mounting you? That griff is in so much trouble.”

“He didn’t just mount me, I…. Um may have sucked his…. You know.”

“You did that for him and he went off to see a dome? A dome!! Anubis…. You idiot.”

“I…. I think the most annoying part is that he probably doesn’t know how much that hurt me.”

“But that no excuse, he can’t just do that.”

“Sigh* I’ll tell him at dinner, I just want to relax and calm down for now.”

“I’d love to join you but I have papers to read through, if you need a little girl talk then summon me…. And as for why he’s able to get under your skin with ease, is because you love him…. Well that’s what my auntie used to say to my mom, good bye princess.” And with that Captain Sky was gone.

“Sigh* love is so new to me…. I can lead, I can give advice and help. Even protect and take control of any situation when necessary but this is so difficult…. Anubis Grimgost…. Sigh* you loveable idiot.”

———————————————————————

Meanwhile Anubis had climbed down and went straight to the training grounds, he had been taking his annoyance out on a single training dummy for some time now.

Nopony or griffon dared to approach him, he had broken five steel training swords and the castle smiths were growing considerably worried about the extra work he was making for them. One of the black smiths decided that the best way to handle the situation was to go and find one of the captains. Luckily somecreature had already gone and informed Captain Sky.

She furiously stormed her way down to the training grounds to give him a peace of her mind but when she got there, she found Anubis just destroying sword after sword and Sky began to wonder if there was more to this then she had originally thought.

Then a loud metallic shatter rang out as the seventh sword broke, Anubis tossed it to the side and without thinking. Extended his bone blades and continued hacking, slashing and stabbing the poor defenceless magical oak dummy. Ponies and griffons all backed up upon seeing the monstrous display.

“A…. Anubis!!!! Stand down immediately!!” She had to take control of the situation, especially now that the other ponies now knew about his mantis like appendages.

The terrifying spectacle came to an abrupt halt as the large griff stopped his onslaught of attacks, a part of Sky panicked and thought that she would have to subdue him but then he turned around.

“Oh hey Captain, what brings you down here?” She froze, to think that he was an uncontrollable force of destruction just a second ago and now he’s trying to make idle chitchat with her.

It was unsettling but she thanked Lady Luck for this outcome. “Your blades are out Anubis, the other guards have never seen them before. It’s scaring them.”

“Oh shit, sorry…. I kinda forgot where I was for a second, I was thinking.” He retracted them and began picking up the broken swords that littered the ground.

“So um do you want to talk about it?”

“Sigh* yeah…. But it’s about Celestia.”

“Well how about we take a trip to Graceful’s office?”

“Yeah sure but don’t you have your own.”

“Nah mine’s in Cloudsdale.” Sky began leading Anubis off the training grounds, she knew what was most likely annoying him but she couldn’t let him know that she knew Celestia’s side of the story.

“Oh um excuse me, sorry for the damages. Here are the swords, i um broke….” Anubis quickly caught up with Sky and they made there way to the Captain’s office.

Once inside Sky kicked Graceful out and took a seat, Anubis made himself comfortable on the floor.

“So Anubis, what happened?”

“Sigh* I made her mad but I literally don’t know how I did it, I think it was because I climbed up the castle when she told me not to go near the edge…. But she said that she didn’t care about that! It’s just so frustrating not knowing, Sky.”

“Mhmmmm maybe it’s something else? Tell me anything that you think could have upset her.”

“Argh well um let me think…. Maybe when I…. Oh fuck, i um made her throw up.”

“Throw up?”

“Throw up…. She also sneezed and well you can imagine the rest.”

“What?!? Is your dick okay?”

“Wha?! No, I meant after she sucked my cock…. You are not allowed to tell another soul about that, do I make myself clear.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t but that might have done it but was she mad after it happened.”

“Well no but she was mad at me when she awoke, I had decided to go and check out something on the side of the mountain. I even left a note.”

“Why you left her after you two got it on?”

“….Yes, but I don’t see how that has anything to do with why she’s mad at me.”

“Anubis! You idiot, of course she’s mad at you. She woke up alone after having sex with you, she probably was hoping to wake up in your claws!”

“Oops….”

“Yeah big fucking oops. So what are you waiting for, go and apologise to her.”

Anubis got up and ran out of the office, knocking Graceful on the way past.

“Ouch! Watch where you’re going! You over size bird!!”

“Sorry Graceful! I will!”

“That griffon is going to seriously hurt somepony
One of these days.”

“Awww let him off the hook, he’s going to fix a very big mistake he made.”

“Wha? What does that mean?”

“Nothing you need to be concerned with.”

Anubis was zooming up the halls, dodging guards, maids, butlers and the occasional noble on his way to Celestia’s room. Upon arriving at her room, he found two scared guards standing to the side of her doors.

“Excuse me guards, is her highness inside?” One of the guards nodded.

Anubis slowly approached the doors and gently pushed them open, upon entering he found a sleeping Alicorn wrapped up in the bed sheets. He decided to curl up around her and hope that she isn’t still mad.

Now that he thought about it, he wondered where the coffee table went? He put it in the back of his mind and began to doze off but then he was suddenly hit by a feathery appendage.

“Ouch!!”

When he looked to see who hit him, he found a smirking Alicorn.

“Ah hi Swan Neck, you’re looking beautiful…. So um…. I’m sorry for leaving you in your sleep, I didn’t know that it was such a big deal.”

“Well I can’t stay mad at you forever, so I gracefully accept your apology.” She started in a smug tone.

“Gracefully? Mhmmm I don’t know about that, you seem to be one table shorter now.”

“It was in the way so I moved it elsewhere.”

“What, to the shadow realm.”

“Well maybe I might have broken it but that’s because I was angry, I very rarely get angry.”

“I’ve seen you angry…. Like maybe 3 times, so it can’t be that rare.”

“….now that you mention it…. You have a point, maybe it’s because of you…. That’s what Captain Sky thinks.”

“You’ve already spoken to her?”

“Yes…. why?”

“Wow…. I got played but I guess she helped me in the end.” Celestia just gave him a knowing smile and kissed him. “So I’m completely forgiven?”

“No…. And that taste is you, what do you think?” she rolled over and got out of bed, she then made her way to the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

Anubis licked his beak before he realised what she had just done, shock and horror took over his face. “That’s disgusting Celestia! And what do you mean no?”