Author's Note
This fic was a second-place entry in the Quills & Sofas Speedwriting, specifically, the Big Heist Contest.
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Magic Mountain Mayhem
“Okay, walk me through this one more time-”
“Oh yeah. Walking.” A haughty laugh erupts from the pony next to Thunderlane and I. “I’ll get right on that with all that space I don’t have.”
Were vertigo not already not rearing its ugly head, I would have rolled my eyes. As it was, my eyes only crossed over feeling Misty Fly’s breath over my face - a wonderful way to find out she was lying about brushing twice today. At the glitter of valuable bits surrounding us was a nice disraction.
Oh yeah, Name and place. Sorry about doing that; enough of us are already stuck halfway between a satisfying endpoint and a hard place as it is.
My name’s Fleetfoot, and yes I’m aware of how ironic that name is now, with how numb my limbs currently are in this bed-sized outcropping of fake rocks we’re in. Time and place is 2:30 PM in Las Pegasus, the most colorful cloud-cushioned carnival in Equestria. Specifically, we’re in Mirror Moutain, one of the most security-thick and solidly built rides in this stupid place.
So naturally, that’s where we’re stuck.
Because our venue contract got voided, and rather than hash it out with the Captain and Lieutenant Soarin, Misty wanted to ‘share the money around’. So rather than laughing as we barreled through the log flumes in this place like a normal pony…
“Last time I agree to a heist with you, Misty…” I muttered, shifting so my wings weren’t busy being pulled out of joint by the bed of bits I was under. “To an anything, actually. Surprise, mind writing that down?”
It was a half-joke, really; that poor upstart was in an even more uncomfortable position than me. But the… well, shockingly exuberant “uhuhuh!” coming from Surprise set me on edge. So did the scritching coming from her position. Was the surprise behind her namesake born from her cool-headedness in the face of danger?
Eh, food for thought.
“Oh come off it, Beatfeet.” And there’s Misty’s ego chugging into the station, making her voice utterly unbearable, even if I wasn’t upside down. “You were the first one on board!”
“Don’t remind me, Fly!” My eyes desperately stared at the ray of fading light at the top of our semi-prison, sure that I could reach it. You know, if we weren’t stuck at the bottom of it. And the walls weren’t too slick to climb. “If I had a lick more sense, I’d have kicked it in the kiosk and waited for the Captain!”
This is a really naked lie, and both Thunderlane and Misty’s eyes on me only make me feel more rotten. Even now, I can feel the itch of inaction flaring along my fur, making my wings twitch. I’m mainly lucky that Misty asked me, because what I would have done now if I’d begged her then is probably not safe for work hours.
Through it all, I can still hear the clacking of Surpise’s hooves, behind our labored breathing. Were it not for the crack of light above, I’d be scared that she’d suffocated.
“...anyways, you wanna aim that lethal weapon somewhere proper, try Thunder ‘No, I’ve got the lights hit, honest” Lane, for one!”
“W-what?” Thunderlane’s heavy baritone almost feels like an earthquake this close-up. Add that to the list of things that got me onto this ‘mission of mercy’ without too much fuss. “I just said I didn’t want to see you two hurt yourselves trying to do it!”
“Which part, Lane? Because your eyes weren’t on my hooves when you were offering that role!”
“i-well-II don’t have to answer this!” Yet, the betraying tremble in Lanes’ voice answers so much. I knew there was a reason he wanted to climb behind us!“I want out of here, curse the bits! And if not for you landing on my wings…!”
There’s Lane and Fly having at it with each other. At least I have time to possibly move. With some tugs and shuffles, I finally get myself right-sided up, though I still feel the incessant twitch of Thunderlane’s tail under my legs. He’s hurt more than he says, that’s something I’ve known from our time.
What? Me still seeing the crack of light above us all was a spoiler that I have good eyes.
…and there’s that guilt making my heart quiver again. Roadapples. “Look, you two..” I begin, trying to save some face in this situation. We’re not getting through this except together. “I was the one supposed to be keeping an eye out for guards. I was on that instead of… you know…”
“I said it then and will now - you raging on me for having a big flank’s a compliment.” Speaking of shame, wow could I have phrased that one better. “And ‘sides, you’re not even the first one to rag on me for running you hard and putting you away wet. Wait till I tell you about this snippy brat called Rolling Thunder.”
“Wait, Rolling…” And a broken grunt told me Thunderlane has some more to add to this convo. “Shoot. Was this when I was out?! I knew something was wrong about that mare - she literally tried to have a swing at me during the tryouts!”
“She tried to-?! Shoot, she’s dumb and debased!” Misty hollered. “I should’ve… should’ve…” And then her own voice got a bit stained too. It took only a couple of seconds to hear why. “Should’ve guessed it wasn’t me that made you react so strongly to being such a stuck-up.”
“Eh, don’t worry.” Thunderlane looked up, first to me for a guilt-ridden second, before flicking down to the bits below him. “Figured if I saw this through, I could prove that my becoming a Wonderbolt wasn’t some fluke.”
My hoof impacted hard in the bed of bits, making Thunderlane and Misty jump a bit. “Don’t you ever say that, Lane,” I hissed, indignation overcoming my inertia. “You two wouldn’t get anywhere with me, and I have a far more stupid reason for cottoning on to this heist.”
Misty giggled good-naturedly. “Yeah, the restlessness, we kno-”
“Not just.”
Just two words and yet three pairs of eyes stayed on me like I’d struck a match. Guess even I can surprise Surprise.
“I… wasn’t always pacing the walls in that kiosk today,” I admitted. “I saw Gladmane and Soarin arguing before, and the way he so disrespectfully looked at me and Spitfire… like we were stupid to think he wouldn’t filch a Wonderbolt…” Ignoring the mutterings of ‘No way…’ from both Misty and Thunderlane, I continue. “Think I saved Spitfire a chance of losing it, but she couldn’t let it look that way in front of the owner of the establishment.”
The silence continues on for a beat longer than I like. But I can’t help it; my mouth is dry, hooves are shaking. I don’t want to fault now.
“So, for the third time this month, Fleetfoot got left on the bench.” The sigh I let out feels like it’s been building in my breast for a decade. “Least Spitfire was just putting on airs this time.”
The silence at this point made me realize just how humid it was in this hollow, this prison-like cubby. “So that was why…” Misty started.
“Yeah.” The single word felt like a ton dropping from my tongue. “So when you said we could just make them accept their own bits instead of losing so much of our own…” My hoof moved in a circle. “By Luna, even when I was climbing, all I could think of sinking the pitons into was Gladmane’s smirking mug. Shouldn’t have been surprised when one of the guards saw us.”
“Look, Fleet.” Thunderlane’s hoof settled on my shoulder. “You’re a workhorse in all the right ways; don’t let that jerk get to you over that. Soarin’ didn’t.” Now his eyes notice what I’ve seen, that one heated arc of light above us all. “And we’re going to get out of this, one way or another. Even if we don’t have any currents to help us reach that door, even if I’m hurt, we will.”
I silently nod, remembering even more of what makes me leap just a little bit faster to Thunderlane’s orders than even the Captain’s. It’s really all in how you do it during the time when another lieutenant - another sister or brother in your Wonderbolt family - is at their lowest, isn’t it? And while the Captain and Soarin can and do show that determination, the fire (or ice, in Soarin’s case) is usually projected at the offending pony. Thunderlane’s flash in the eye, his fatherly air - it’s always inward, to the laboring Wonderbolt.
And I want to get lost in it forever.
You know, when he’s not busy checking out my ass.
“Okay then,” I begin, my eyes sweeping up to the crevice above us. “We can do something, but I’m not sure if it’ll work. We’ll need a lot of ribbons, so we might have to lose one of the outfits…” I morosely stare at the form-hugging leather sweeping over our forms. “But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”
Then a flicker of light echoes at our eye level, and stays there. Stays, to be more specific, with the flame-covered bit in Surprise’s hoof. “Got it!” she finally chirrups, her mane even flickering in the reflected light like a cloud of golden dust.
“What… is that?” I carefully utter.
“My way to get all of us out, silly! I remember, the second I saw the bits, that they have a bit of an explosive quality with the right sort of sparks! So I just used my goggles-” And the white-coated mare shows the object, the side of its golden surface scored with her past efforts. “-and voila Instant flare!”
I nod almost aimlessly, my mind still sluggish to realize the implications of this. “No way, Surprise! No wonder you brought her along too, Misty; she’s resourceful as all Tartarus!”
The shock in Misty’s eyes, however, brings a pang of horror to my heart. “Uh… I didn’t. I thought Thunderlane did.” she meeped.
“I didn’t! I thought you did!”
And while they’re arguing I see another wrinkle in Surpise’s plan to get help in here. Namely, the thousands of other bits that the sparks from her lit one are dancing dangerously close to.
The ones we’re sitting on still.
“Uh, you two?” I ask, my voice shaking in abject terror. “Think we should probably start flying now?”
“Why?” Then Misty sees the sparks. “Oh….”
And before our vision becomes a crazy kaleidoscope of fire and propulsion and plaster, I finally realize just what makes this crazy pegasus partner called Surprise.
For my fur - and my sanity's - sake, I just wish I knew it sooner.
