30 Minute Delay

Chapters

Foreword
An Old Port in a Storm
Subsidised Friendship
Platonic Comfort
Where is the Heart?
Homemade Thabotage
Gambling on Pride
Join Our Ponyville 'Flock'
Season's 'Greetings' Grandma
Imagination Reformation
Carrot Tom & AnJerry
You're Not Respected? Then They're Rejected!
The Beat And The Pulse
Sweet Lava Acres
Haaave You Met Mac?
Timber Treaters
Royalty-th

Foreword

Foreword

I want to give a little intro to the fic here.

It’s a slice-of-life snippets fic. Mostly they’ll be standalones but I’ll try to follow some sort of continuity so there may be callbacks.

I wanted to write this fic after reading Familial Moments, which is a great little d’aww fic from a few years back centred around what happened post-FFVII. Should be easy to find on teh intarwubz.

Anywho, about 30 Minute Delay, I won’t be interfering with show canon if I can help it (if I have then let me know in a review) but for parts of the story that haven’t been established, well…..

Liberties will be taken. You have been warned.

Ominous, no? Don’t worry. I won’t go nuts. I’ll be trying to keep to the characters as much as I can.

Anywho, enjoy.

An Old Port in a Storm

An Old Port In A Storm

The toy hit the wall with a soft squeak.

“Rainbow Dash! You must stop doing that!”

“What?”

“Playing so rough. The twins are still foals after all.”

“Oh lighten up Rarity, look at Pumpkin Cake, she’s fine.” The prim unicorn glanced at the corner, where the ginger-haired filly sat giggling up a storm. Deflated, she tried to rally against the cyan Pegasus.

“Be that as it may, you have been known to lose control every now and then and if something happened to the babies you’d have to explain to the Cakes,” Rainbow rolled her eyes at this,

“…and to Pinkie Pie.”

That had an impact. Rainbow stopped smirking. Pinkie’s overprotectiveness of the twins was legendary in Ponyville. It was a running joke that when the twins were school-aged they’d never get bullied because everypony would be too afraid of what Pinkie would do once she learned of it.

“………you play dirty Rarity.” This earned a sniff of polite indignation.

“Nothing I do is ‘dirty’, Rainbow Dash. I just know how to look after a foal, being an older sister. You, on the other hoof, are an only child, so your experience with little ones is lacking.” Hearing this, the multicolour-maned pony narrowed her eyes.

“Is that a fact? You think you know it all because of Sweetie Belle? You think I can’t do the job?” Sensing she’d crossed a line, Rarity tried to placate her friend.

“Well no, not in so many words. What I meant was-“

“Save it! I know what you meant. You don’t think I’m suitable to look after these two while Pinkie’s away. FINE! Do it yourself, expert!”

Taking wing, the Pegasus shot off out of the window. Pound Cake, who’d been walking on the ceiling, tried to follow her but a glowing blue aura closed the shutters before he could get out.

“Ah ah ah Pound Cake, you mustn’t go outside. Stay right here with Auntie Rarity, there’s a good boy.” The Pegasus colt crossed his hooves and huffed in the air. His sister, who’d watched the older Unicorn work her magic, tried to imitate her. Natural talent notwithstanding, Pumpkin Cake was still a baby and her control needed work, as pretty soon every shutter in the house was banging open and closed loudly, which had the little lady laughing up a storm. The sound startled Pound Cake, however, who dropped like a stone, landing hard on the floor with a THUD!

“Oh dear.” Remarked Rarity, knowing what was coming. She magically latched all the shutters and then moved to give the now-bawling colt a hug. No sooner had she reached him though, that she heard Pumpkin Cake, whose fun had been taken away when Rarity closed the windows, join her brother in expressing displeasure. Arms full of crying child, Rarity tried to maintain her composure.

Sweetie Belle was never this hard. Hurry back Pinkie.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

The babies eventually calmed down long enough for Rarity to feed them and put them down for a nap. During that time the sun had set and a strong wind had picked up. Taking a quick glance outside, Rarity noticed a storm brewing in the distance, a big one by the look of it. She double-checked all the windows and doors were securely shut before bedding down in the room with the sleeping foals.

The first BOOM of thunder hit a few hours later. It wasn’t loud enough to rouse the babies but it did have them whimpering in their sleep. Rarity stayed close and held them until their breathing became steady again. Another came, closer this time, which had tears running down their cheeks. Rarity knew it’d only get worse, so she risked a peek outside. Unlatching the shutters, she opened them just as the lightning flashed, blinding her. This was too much for the twins. As Rarity staggered away from the window they began to howl in fright. Trying to clear the spots from her eyes, Rarity staggered around the room.

“Pound Cake dear? Pumpkin darling? Where are you?” The thunder finally followed the lightning and drowned out her voice. She tried again but Pumpkin’s magic was going out of control and toys and games and clothes were flying around the room, tripping her, hitting her in the face, squeaking against the walls.

“Babies?! Oh children where are you?” There was too much noise from the storm and magic even to hear the babies crying.

A dark blur cannoned into Rarity, knocking her to the floor. Dimly she felt feathers in her hooves.

“Oh Pound Cake, you found me! You clever boy! You stay with Auntie Rarity now okay?”

“Rarity, it’s me!”

“Rainbow?! What are you doing here?”

“I saw the storm and wanted to make sure everyone was fine. Are the kids okay?”

“I don’t know! There was lightning and now I just see spots!” Grimacing, the cyan Pegasus helped her friend to the corner of the room and sat her down, and then she turned to face the swirling maelstrom of magic.

“Stay here Rarity, I’ll get them.”

“Rainbow, do be careful.”

“I won’t hurt ‘em!”

“Not just for them, Rainbow Dash, for you too!” If Rarity could see properly, she’d have been glad to see the easy going smirk her friend wore so often.

“No problem. I’ll be back.” With that she leapt into the fray, dodging stuffed animals and wooden blocks, high chairs and extra diapers until she reached the reached the eye of the hurricane. Looking down she could see Pumpkin Cake, eyes shut and screaming, horn ablaze with energy. Besides her, holding on for dear life, was little Pound Cake. Rainbow saw his grip loosen and he shrieked as he was sucked up into his sister’s spell. Alarmed, Rainbow dove back into the vortex after him, her strong wings beating to bring her to him even as his flapped uselessly while he tumbled over and over. Just as she was about to grab him he bounced off the stuffed turtle and shot towards the wall.

“NOOOOO!!!!!!”

Just before he went splat, Pound Cake was enveloped in an azure haze and floated down into Rarity’s waiting arms.

“I have him. Get Pumpkin Cake!”

“Right!”

Turning back to Pumpkin Cake, Rainbow braved the magical twister again, shrugging off toys and games and grabbing hold of the bars of Pumpkin’s crib.

“Pumpkin? Kiddo? I’m here. I got ya,” the little filly, sensing the familiar presence, launched herself at Rainbow as her magic wore down. As the contents of the room rained down around them, Rainbow Dash held Pumpkin Cake tight while the little one bawled her eyes out, accompanied by more loud crashes and flashes from the storm outside, which just added to the twins’ misery.

“Now what do we do?” Rarity whined complained, “They’ll be like this all night if the weather keeps up.”

“I know what to do, give me Pound Cake a sec.” Taking the babies into her arms, Rainbow put on a bright smile.

“Come on little guys, let’s do the Storm Dance!”

“Storm Dance?” Rarity was puzzled, she’d never heard of any dance like that.

“You’ll see.” Rainbow Dash heard a thunder crash and tossed the twins up in the air, catching them at the same time.

“RAINBOW!”

“Relax, I know what I’m doing.” Another crash sounded and she repeated the action. Then a lightning flash came and Rainbow spun around with the babies at arm’s length. This had their cries falling to confused gurgles. At each crash Rainbow would toss the twins and spin them with every flash. Soon enough they were laughing up a storm despite, or perhaps because of, the continuing commotion outside.

Rarity, seeing that Rainbow had everything in order, set about getting the room back into order.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Morning came and the storm had passed, but the twins were still laughing and wanting to play. Rarity was levitating Pumpkin Cake upside down, horn to horn, and slowly turning her round and round while Rainbow Dash was rolling Pound Cake across her wings like a basketball. As far as Pinkie could tell when she walked in, the twins were having the time of their lives.

Rarity and Rainbow said their goodbyes to Pinkie and the happy babies and began walking home. Rarity turned to Dash hesitantly.

“Listen Rainbow, I just want to apologise for what I said in there. I shouldn’t have assumed that you wouldn’t be able to handle the children.” The speedy flyer brushed her off.

“Ah it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“But that was amazing. Where did you come up with that ‘Storm Dance’ of yours?” Rainbow brushed the back of her head.

“Weeeell,” she began, “growing up in Cloudsdale we saw a lot of storms. My parents were away a lot and I didn’t have anypony to keep safe or……” she looked away, embarrassed,

“Or to make me feel safe. So……….so I made up the Storm Dance as a way to get through the bad weather. Heh, silly huh?”

“Not at all.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned a valuable lesson about how I see my friends. I thought that what you had in your past was most important for helping you to become who you are now. I learned today that what, or who, you didn’t have with you can be just as important to how you grow.

Sincerely, Your Faithful Subject

Rarity

Subsidised Friendship

Subsidised Friendship

“Again?!”

“Ah’m awful sorry Twilight, things are just real busy right now.”

“Rarity’s busy but she still makes the time.” Twilight Sparkle missed the split-second of annoyance that flashed across the face of her orange Earth mare friend.

“Well that’s mighty neighbourly of her but ah really cain’t make it this time. Maybe next week, yeah?”

“That’s what you said last month!” Eyes dropping and mouth curling downwards, Applejack turned to leave.

“……Sorry Twilight. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Hearing the tone, Twilight’s expression softened.

“Applejack, wait, I just-“ But the farm girl just kept walking without looking back.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

“I didn’t mean to get after her like that, it’s just that she never comes for lunch with me, I was starting to wonder whether she really liked being around me when we aren’t all together.” Sitting at the restaurant table with her, menus in hoof, Rarity and Fluttershy exchanged glances. Twilight, her head buried in the menu, failed to see this.

“Well….uh….it’s not that Applejack doesn’t like being around you Twilight, not at all. It’s just….well….” Fluttershy was trying to be diplomatic but struggled to find her words. She glanced hopefully at Rarity, who continued.

“Applejack has a lot of responsibilities. She has to prioritise.”

This was, evidently, the wrong thing to say.

Slamming the menu down, Twilight stood up sharply.

“So you’re saying I’m a low priority, that she’s got better things to do. Is that right?”

“No, darling. You’re taking this the wrong way.” Rarity tried to calm the other Unicorn down but it didn’t seem to be working.

“What way should I take it, Rarity? Hmm, Fluttershy? Should I be glad to even get a spot on Applejack’s to-do list?” Turning her nose up, Twilight teleported away, leaving the two ponies sitting in uncomfortable silence. Eventually Fluttershy broke it.

“I don’t think that went very well at all.”

“Unfortunately, Fluttershy, you’re right.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?”

“I don’t know but we should try. Twilight shouldn’t be mad at Applejack like this, she just doesn’t understand.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Twilight’s teleport took her to the market square. She looked around to get her bearings and spotted a familiar physique. The big stallion was towing a cartful of apples like it weighed nothing. He passed by her without saying anything. Deciding not to waste the opportunity, Twilight fell in beside him.

“Good afternoon Big Macintosh.”

“Miss Twilight.” The response was short, almost gruff, and missing Big Macintosh’s usual calm cheer. Twilight hesitantly continued,

“Uhh……..how are you today?”

“Busy. Always busy,” there was an edge in his voice, “and you?” He gave her a pointed stare.

“I’m……fine. Sundays are slow days at the library, not much to do except dust the books.” Still facing ahead, Big Macintosh took a few seconds before responding:

“Must be nice,”

“Hmm?”

“To have slow days. It must be nice.”

“……You don’t?” Big Macintosh sighed and stopped for a moment, collecting his thoughts.

“No, Miss Twilight, I don’t. Neither does my sister. We have to tend the farm, just like you tend to your library, only it takes more than a Sunday to keep things in order.”

“I……I didn’t realise.” This got another sigh.

“I know you didn’t, Miss Twilight, because you’re in a different situation from us. Your library only rents books right? It doesn’t sell them. So how do you make your living?”

“Well, the government pays me a salary to run the library for them.”

“Eeyup, the government pays you a salary. That’s fine for you so you can visit with friends on Sundays and eat at them fancy restaurants every week, but as for us…”

“As for you, the government doesn’t pay you anything, you have to make your own money.” Twilight finished for him, feeling like a complete fool.

“Eeyup.” Big Macintosh’s voice had softened slightly but his next words still stung.

“You’re a real important friend to my sister, Miss Twilight, and she tries her best to spend as much time with her friends as she can, but cain’t none of us afford to eat at places like you go to regular like. I hope you can understand that.”

Twilight nodded weakly, her mind full of images of all the times she’d spent with Applejack. There were a lot of them. She’d snapped at Applejack for never spending any time with her but in reality, the lunches were about the only thing Applejack didn’t attend with her. Twilight had gotten up on her soapbox about spending time with friends and had completely ignored the efforts Applejack made to do so. It was humbling to see how wrong she had been about the whole thing.

“Big Mac, I’m really sorry about how I acted. I have to go find Applejack and apologise to her too!” She teleported away without waiting for an answer. Big Mac allowed himself a small smile before continuing on his way.

“Eeyup.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Rarity picked the startled-stiff Fluttershy off the ground before facing Twilight.

“Hello again, darling, is everything alright?”

“Not really. I was looking for Applejack.” The now-recovered Fluttershy watched her cautiously.

“Um, Twilight? You’re not going to yell at Applejack again are you?”

“No. I want to apologise. I was acting-……….You two don’t think I act showy with my bits do you? Going to fancy restaurants and the like?”

“Well, you don’t eat at home much,” Twilight’s face fell at this. Fluttershy picked up where Rarity had trailed off,

“But you don’t ever rub it in anypony’s face either. So no, you don’t act showy. Liking some comforts is not a crime.”

“Do I do it too often? I know you guys have your own businesses to run, like Applejack.”

“Twilight, darling, if we couldn’t afford it we wouldn’t attend. I happen to look forward to our little get-togethers.”

“Me too Twilight, it’s nice.”

“And besides, our situations are different from both yours and Applejack’s and even from each other’s.”

“They are?” Twilight was getting thoroughly lost in all the lifestyles being thrown around.

“Yes. Since I live next to the Everfree Forest I’m basically self-sufficient, and all my animals are foragers. My clients pay the bills for the animals I raise, so it’s more like a paying hobby for me.”

“My works are custom orders which I get from all over thanks to my connections and the industry I’m in. Fabric lasts a lot longer than apples do, so I don’t need to constantly work like Applejack does to move product. The only reason Applejack works so hard is because there’s a time limit to her produce. If she had the means to move her apples longer distances while keeping them fresh she’d be richer than all of us.”

“Really?”

“Really. She still more than covers her costs as is, she just makes sure her other responsibilities come first.”

“Other responsibilities?”

“Oh yes, Applejack always thinks of her family first. She puts some money away for Granny Smith’s health and Applebloom’s education. That’s where her money goes. She’s responsible like that. If she wasn’t, she’d be better off than all three of us combined.”

“Wow……I…uh….I feel really bad now for complaining to Applejack.”

Twilight?”

“Yes, Fluttershy?”

“Why don’t you go and talk to Applejack? I’m sure you’ll feel better afterwards.”

“I think you’re right. I better get going. Bye girls.”

“Good luck, darling.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Applejack was walking Applebloom and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders home from school when she heard a pop beside her and turned to find herself nose-to-nose with a violet unicorn. She tilted her head back enough for a proper view.

“Uh…howdy Twilight.”

“Hi AJ, could I talk to you for a moment? No yelling I swear.” Applejack contemplated a number of responses to this.

“Alrighty,” she turned to Applebloom and her friends, “You three run along and play now, I need to talk to Miss Twilight for a sec.” As they scampered away, she gave Twilight an expectant look.

“Okay, here goes. I want to apologise for what I said before. It was wrong of me. I didn’t know the situation and spoke without thinking.” Applejack looked at her friend’s sincere, worried face………and almost burst out laughing. She’d really worked herself into a tizzy about this hadn’t she?

“Twilight, it’s fine. It ain’t a big deal. I just didn’t want you thinkin’ I was being a bad friend-“

“Oh no Applejack, I was the bad friend. I was pressuring you over a silly lunch, I should have known you had more important things to think about.” Applejack felt that she’d missed some vital part of that statement, but decided to keep the good feeling going.

“Well uh…..okay then. Say, soon as I get these fillies home I have some free time. Want to do sumthin’?” Twilight’s face lit up at the suggestion.

“SURE! In fact,” something Rarity said came back to her, “how’s about we get everyone together and I’ll make us some dinner at my house?”

The smile froze on Applejack’s face.

“You’re gonna cook?”

“Uh huh, I don’t think I do enough of it. I’ve got a great book to try out. C’mon, let’s get going!” Twilight led the way, bouncing happily at the thought of using her book to make her friends a great meal, while Applejack woodenly followed, wondering if she could get any more mileage out of the ‘too busy’ excuse.

Platonic Comfort

Platonic Comfort

He shifted drowsily against the tree.

Big Macintosh loved these moments. After a day full of lucky breaks and extra effort he’d finished all his work by late afternoon, leaving his evening free. After putting away his tools and shrugging off his harness, he’d strolled out to his favourite place on the farm, one of the oldest trees that provided plenty of shade and soft bark to lean up against. Big Macintosh would come out here as often as he could and watch the sunset, well snooze through it more times than not.

This time had been no different, he’d cracked an eye open and spotted the sun a good site lower than when he last saw it. It never bothered him much, there was still a nice warmth to the air and he closed his eyes again. He still had a few hours until dark.

<><><><><>

He woke again, not long after, when he felt something shift against his side. Glancing down sleepily, he spotted a plum coat and light pink mane. Satisfied, he leaned his head back against the tree.

“Hey ‘lee.”

“Hey Mac. Good day?”

“Good enough, you?”

“Fine.”

The pony had become almost as familiar a fixture on days like this as the sunset and the tree. Ever since the Hearts ‘n’ Hooves day fiasco, the farm stallion and teacher mare had struck up an easy friendship. Whenever they had the time, one would seek out the other for a few hours of amicable companionship.

Big Mac grunted and shifted his posture to accommodate the lass leaning against him. With any other filly he’d be tense and nervous but found that was never a problem with Cheerilee. After nearly ending up as husband and wife thanks to the well-intentioned meddling of little Applebloom and her friends, the disaster-waiting-to-happen known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders, there really wasn’t much more that he and ‘lee had to hide. They knew exactly what they were to each other and it wasn’t ‘special someponys’, just easy friends. He felt it was a nice change of pace from Caramel’s constant nagging about finding a marefriend. Big Macintosh appreciated the concern from his closest stallion acquaintance but sometimes the guy could lay it on a little thick, at which point the farm pony would resort to his usual “Eeyup” or “Nnope”. It wasn’t the nicest way to handle it but it usually resulted in shifting the conversation to another topic.

Cheerilee poked him gently in the ribs.

“Make sure to tell Applebloom that ‘finding our Cutie Marks’ is not an acceptable reason for not doing her homework, I don’t want to have to talk to Applejack about this.” This roused Mac a little.

“She been skippin’ her homework often?” His baby sister was……energetic in her pursuit of a Cutie Mark but he didn’t want it causing problems. Cheerilee yawned before responding.

“Not often, not yet at least. I had her stay late a few weeks ago to redo some work she hadn’t put much effort into because she’d been with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, not saying it was their fault, they were there too.” Cheerilee’s eyes were closed and she seemed to be fading but pushed on regardless,

“Rarity wasn’t happy when she came to collect her sister.” Mac could believe that, from the interaction he’d had with the fashion pony she didn’t strike him as one who appreciated her sister slacking off OR having to take time off to deal with it.

“Hmm, I’ll make sure she gets it done. Don’t want her troublin’ you none, ‘lee.”

“’preciate it, Mac.” These last few words were murmured as the mare drifted off. Soon her breathing was low and even. Mulling over what’d been said; Mac couldn’t help but be glad to have a friend like her who looked out for her students so much. He liked being kept abreast of how Applebloom was doing; sometimes he was working too much to see her besides passing in the corridors. Cheerilee’s friendship helped ease the big-brotherly sadness of having others know more about his sibling than he did. At least this way it got back to him in good time. He was happy to repay the favour if she ever needed it.

With a smile on his face, Mac settled down to enjoy the last of the day’s sun.

<><><><><><><>

A clanging sound roused the two from their slumber. Cheerilee, the more startled of the two, had fallen over in shock. Helping her up, Mac cocked his head in the direction of the house.

“Sounds like Applejack’s got the food out. Wanna stay for dinner?” Smiling, she shook her head and indicated the sky, now dark and with forming clouds.

“Can’t, I have to get home and get everything ready for tomorrow’s classes.” Knowing how important her work was to her, Mac didn’t press the issue.

“Alright, want me to walk you home ‘lee?”

“No thanks, I know the way just fine. Go get fed,” She altered her voice to a rough impression of Applejack’s,

“Soup’s on everypony!”

Chuckling, the two said their goodbyes and parted ways. Cheerilee headed back into town as Big Macintosh steadily ambled back towards the homestead.

<><><><>

Author’s note: Sorry shippers, they’re just friends.

Where is the Heart?

Where Is The heart?

On two different edges of Ponyville, two very important letters were being simultaneously opened.

<><><><><><><>

“WHAT?!” A loud cry came from a floating cloud villa, high above the town.

<><><><><><><>

“Oh….my…” Emerged a quiet whimper from a cottage on the border of the forest.

<><><><><><><>

Within Ponyville proper, a studious Unicorn received two visitors at the same time, from two different directions, using two different entry points. Fluttershy, the timid tamer, knocked hesitantly on the front door while Rainbow Dash, the proud performer, took the more direct route and slammed down onto the balcony from on high.

“Rainbow Dash, good to see you. However, as Fluttershy so serendipitously demonstrated, I do have a door.” Twilight Sparkle gently chided her friend, who barely noticed the remark.

“No time for that now Twilight, I’ve got bigger problems!” Dash was in constant agitated motion.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong?” Door etiquette forgotten, Twilight waited anxiously for her friend to continue, Rainbow finally stopped dashing about long enough to toss her a letter.

“They’re gonna kick me out of Cloudsdale! Or Ponyville!! OR BOTH!!!”

“What? Let me see that.” Twilight quickly scanned the letter and then looked up in concern.

“I’ve never heard of this before. I never had any trouble like this when I moved her from Canterlot. Has anypony else gotten a letter like this?”

“Umm…….Twilight, Rainbow Dash……” The two turned to see Fluttershy, forgotten in the confusion, digging a similar letter from her bag. Instantly, Rainbow whizzed down to her friend.

“Fluttershy! You too?” The wallflower nodded weakly.

“It says that since I relocated here right after flight school, I was too young to hold a valid citizenship outside of Cloudsdale where my family is. Since it’s been a year past the point where I should have registered, I have to obtain one or I’ll be sent back to Cloudsdale!” Fluttershy’s eyes were watering at the thought so Rainbow put a hoof around her shoulders before speaking to Twilight.

“Mine’s a little different but mostly the same. The difference is that since my house is technically not Ponyville airspace it’s classed as a Cloudsdale residence, but since I have a Ponyville-centric job as Weatherpony and keep my bits in a Ponyville bank the government thinks I should be living in Ponyville, even though I get my work from Cloudsdale and have other duties there. It’s dumb.” The cyan Pegasus tried crossing her arms but forgot that one was currently around Fluttershy, resulting in an awkward and mutually uncomfortable embrace.

“Whoops! Sorry Fluttershy.”

“Oh, that’s okay Rainbow Dash, you didn’t mean it. But what are we gonna do about our letters?” Twilight, though no lawyer, still prided herself on being well-read, and was convinced that the answer would be found in her extensive library.

“Why don’t you two go ask at Town Hall and see what they have to say about this? I’ll take a look through my books and see if I can find any solutions.” Twilight tried to be reassuring but her two friends didn’t look any more at ease.

“What if you can’t?”

“I will Rainbow, trust me. You guys just try to keep calm and see what the Mayor’s staff has to say.”

“Are you sure, Twilight?”

“I am. Don’t worry Fluttershy, this will all be resolved soon.”

Still wearing unhappy expressions, the two pegasus' departed.

<><><><><><><><>

Exiting Town Hall, Rainbow waited until Fluttershy came out before bucking the door closed, hard.

“Well that was a bust! Did you see the size of that ‘To-Do’ pile that smug clerk put us at the bottom of? We’ll never get this fixed before the deadline!”

“Now now Rainbow, I’m sure they’re doing their best…” Fluttershy quickly shrank back as the acrobatic pony rounded on her.

“Well their best isn’t good enough!” Noticing her friend’s demeanour, Dash relented,

“Sorry Fluttershy, I didn’t mean to be so harsh.”

“It’s alright, this isn’t an easy situation.” Both ponies sighed and plopped down onto the grass. Neither spoke as they sorted their thoughts. After a few minutes, one of them spoke up:

“What……what are we going to do?” Shaking her head, the other couldn’t give an answer.

“I……don’t know.”

“I wish I could talk to my parents about this.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe……maybe Twilight will find an answer? I….I don’t….”

“I know. Me neither……”

Thoroughly unhappy, the two fillies sat in silence.

<><><><><><><>

“There’s nothing?!” Twilight sadly shook her head at her friend’s outburst. She’d been up all night looking for anything that could help them, finally exhausting her search, loophole-less. She felt a terrible crushing shame for having gotten her friend’s hopes up like this.

“No. I’m sorry Rainbow, it’s pretty cut-and-dry. It’s as they say: If you want to keep both Ponyville and Cloudsdale open to you then you need to spend at least 2 weeks of every month living in each one, which means having two registered addresses. Same goes for you Fluttershy.”

“But Twilight, neither Rainbow or I can afford a second home!”

“I’m so sorry girls, I wish there was a way out of this but I just can’t see it.”

“I don’t believe this this!” Whined Rainbow. Twilight didn’t know what to say. Fluttershy spoke up instead.

“Thank you for trying anyway Twilight. If, if it’s okay with you, we’ll be going now.” Teary-eyed, Twilight just nodded and watched the two go.

<><><><><><>

“It’s really starting to look like we’ll have to move.”

“Yes, it does.” There was an awkward silence as each waited in vain, hoping the other would ask the question they’d been afraid to think about since this whole mess began. When the silence began dragging on, they spoke up simultaneously:

“Ponyville or Cloudsdale?”

<><><><><><>

On two different edges of Ponyville, two letters lay discarded on the floor.

Fluttershy sat in the middle of her house, Angel Bunny eating from the bowl she’d just laid down with her left hoof while she held a picture of the butterfly migration in her right hoof. She gazed from one to the other dejectedly, tears running down her eyes.

<><><><><><>

Far away, Rainbow Dash still somehow mirrored her. In her right hoof she held the trophy she’d won in the Best Young Flier competition. In her right hoof, the same picture as her friend. Miserably looking at each one in turn, she eventually let them both drop from her hooves with a frustrated groan. Lying back on her bed with a hoof over her eyes, she did nothing and stared at nothing.

<><><><><><>

What should I do? I have to stay here to look after the animals but…

<><><><><><>

If I was in Cloudsdale I could race every day and I’d have a much better chance of meeting the Wonderbolts but…

<><><><><><>

On two different edges of Ponyville, two minds thought the same thought simultaneously.

I don’t want to leave her.

<><><><><><>

The next day, Rainbow Dash drifted lazily on a cloud above the rooftops of Ponyville, watching, but not really taking in, the town below. Her lifeless reverie was interrupted as the sound of a Pegasus and Earth pony arguing reached her ears. Shifting slightly, she brought them into view.

Derpy Hooves and Carrot Top at it again. It was a comforting, familiar sight. Everyone in Ponyville knew how it’d go. The two went through the same dance every time. Derpy would do something silly, usually at Carrot Top’s expense, which would cause the Earth mare to berate her, albeit half-heartedly, then one’d storm off and the two of them would be miserable for the rest of the day. Sure enough, after Derpy’s latest counterpoint had showered Carrot Top in sticky muffin crumbs, she’d stalked off, leaving the wall-eyed Pegasus to sit unhappily on her own. An hour later, Carrot Top would be running her stall sans enthusiasm and Derpy wouldn’t even cheer up when around her daughter, Dinky. The next day they’d be all smiles again after obviously making up overnight.

It’s just not the same without the ponies in your life that make everything better.

<><><><><><>

The filly was all scowls as the Cutie Mark Crusaders walked away, her attempts at lowering their spirits having backfired. Fluttershy had been walking through the market, coincidentally keeping pace with the whole thing, as Diamond Tiara’s town-wide ego was dented. The pink filly huffed down, utterly uninterested in the world, a few tables away from Fluttershy, showing absolutely no concern or care for other ponies, slinging insults and barbed remarks at all who approached her. Well, except one. Silver Spoon’s arrival had surprised Diamond Tiara, who’d been busy making the waiter (no doubt an employee of her father) cry by questioning the quality of the garden salad served. When she saw her bespectacled friend, Diamond Tiara had flashed the only true smile Fluttershy had seen from her in a day full of smirks and lopsided grins. The modus operandi didn’t change an ounce with the addition of a second operator, except to perhaps become more vicious in their words and actions, but when they ran out of ponies to talk down to they were just two filly friends, chatting and laughing with each other, not a care in the world.

Even if you don’t change who you are, you’re still happier when you’re with those you care about.

<><><><><><>

Fluttershy opened her cottage door and was surprised to find Rainbow Dash standing there.

“Oh! Um…hi, Rainbow Dash.”

“Hey Fluttershy. Can we talk?”

“Yes, I’d like that. I was just coming to find you, in fact.” She stepped aside to let her friend enter.

“Hey Angel.” Rainbow greeted the rambunctious bunny, who sniffed her hoof briefly in response before bounding away.

“Oh, sorry Rainbow,” Fluttershy apologised for her pet,

“He’s just a little on edge about this whole thing.”

“Heh, haven’t we all?” Rainbow tried to laugh it off but thinking of the letter still brought her mood low. Fluttershy tried to keep the conversation going.

“You, um, said you wanted to talk?”

“Well yeah, I did, but honestly I don’t know what I’d say. I still don’t know what I should do but I was hoping that talking with you would help me find it. Didn’t work though, I’m as lost as ever.”

“Me too, Rainbow Dash. If I stayed in Ponyville and you didn’t I’d feel like I was missing something really important in my life, but if I went to Cloudsdale I’d feel the same way.”

“Yeaaahhh, meeting the Wonderbolts or spending my time flying didn’t seem to have the same appeal when I was leaving my friends behind, but I still can’t turn my back on Cloudsdale. It’s tough when you have only one house but two homes huh?”

“That’s it exactly.”

“So what do we do?”

“Um, perhaps…”

“WAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!” Both Pegasus’ jumped at the sudden (and loud) interruption, 4 ponies having just popped, screaming, into the room.

“YAY! We found ‘em!” A bubbly magenta Earth pony bounced over and gave the two a big hug.

“Girls? What are you doing here?” Stuck in the Pinki-embrace, Fluttershy was a little confused, Rainbow Dash too.

“Oh thank goodness we’re not too late.” The prim white Unicorn offered a more gracious, but equally expressive smile than her pink friend.

“Too late for what?” Asked Dash, finally shaking free of Pinkie’s grip.

“Well, once Twilight told us about your problem, which, by the by, we shoulda heard from you direct,” Applejack fixed the two with an admonishing glare as they looked back, abashed, “me and Rarity got ta thinkin’ and, weeell….”

Twilight gave Rainbow and Fluttershy a knowing smile.

“How do you feel about sleepovers?”

<><><><><><>

Two weeks later, the six walked out of Town Hall, Twilight triumphantly levitating her quill before her as she walked.

“So the paperwork is all in order. You shouldn’t have any problems so long as you stick to the guidelines for the dual citizenship.”

“Have you two decided who’ll be where and when? Huh? Huh? Huh?” Pinkie was all ears to find out what the two Pegasus’ had decided upon. Fluttershy shared a smile with Rainbow Dash before answering.

“Well, we’re working on a 4-week rotation, though we haven’t got the order down yet. We’ll spend one week together at the cottage,” she nodded to Rainbow to continue,

“We’ll solo a week with me at the villa and Fluttershy at the cottage, a week where we’re both at the villa,”

“And a week where we solo me at the villa and Rainbow at the cottage,” Finished Fluttershy,

“We thought this would be the best way to stick to the guidelines but still allow us to keep to our regular schedules as much as possible.”

“Will y’all still be able to handle all those animals and the weather with a setup like that?”

“We hope so. That’s why we’re thinking of doing the solo-switch week last, so we can get each other up to speed with each other’s duties, enough to manage them for one week at least.”

“Well, you two are certainly organised. Here I thought I was gonna be making your new schedules.” Twilight was smiling on the outside but thinking Drat! on the inside. Soon the six reached the cottage and the two Pegasus’ found their way blocked by the Unicorns and Earth ponies. Rarity stepped forward,

“In honour of this new change, I took the liberty to whip these up. I hope they’re to your liking.” Her horn glowed blue as she floated two small, gift-wrapped trinkets over to the two flyers, one for each. Unwrapping their presents, Rainbow and Fluttershy gasped happily before giving the group a pair of bright smiles, which were soon joined by four more.

Bedecked in Rarity’s trademark elegance, and sporting both of their Cutie Marks, the two signs read, in fine flowing writing:

Home of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.

<><><><><><>

Author’s note: I’ve portrayed this as a Dash ‘n’ Flutters-centric story but obviously they’d miss their other friends just as much if they had to move away. They were just the viewpoint characters and had been friends for the longest of the mane 6.

Homemade Thabotage

Homemade Thabotage

The bell rang for recess. All the fillies and colts began packing away their things as Cheerilee called out a reminder about their homework after lunch. One ginger-haired filly was gathering up her crayons when she heard a regrettably familiar voice.

“Hey, Twitht.”

Oh here we go. She thought bitterly, before turning to the class’ only other bespectacled member.

“What do you want, Thilver Thpoon?” The rich girl’s usual haughtiness was in full effect as she approached.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Yeth, I can thee that. What ith it?” The grey-on-grey pony didn’t immediately respond, she seemed to be watching the last of their classmates leaving. Once the door clicked shut, she continued:

“Your special talent is candy making, right? I’d like some.” Twist just stared. Silver Spoon stared back. Did she not get what was wrong with what she’d said?

“You want me, to make you, thome thweets?”

Yes, that’s what I said.” Silver Spoon drawled, examining her hoof, no doubt recently treated, as she spoke.

“Why thould I? I only make thweets for ponieth I like.” Silver Spoon sighed at this, as if it was obvious.

“I’m not asking you to do it for nothing, candy cane. It’s a job. I’ll be paying you.”

“Oh.” That threw Twist a little. Surely there were better cooks in Ponyville to ask?

“Why do you want my candy?”

“You don’t need to know.” Silver Spoon snapped,

“You just need to say yes or no.”

“……..What kind of thweets do you want and how much do you want to thpend?” Silver Spoon smiled at this, sensing that she was getting what she wanted. Twist would have to watch out, she’d seen the filly in action before, and she was a savvy business pony.

“Well I want top-quality, something special. My m- I mean, I, am all about custom merchandise. I want these to be one of a kind. Use your best ingredients, equipment, don’t rush, the works. These have to be perfect. I’ll need 100…”

“A hundred?!”

“…by two weeks on Sunday, yes. Can you do it?” Inwardly, Twist breathed a sigh of relief. 100! She’d need at least 2 weeks if she was gonna give it her best work.

“Yeth, I can do it by then. Do you have any thpethial requethtth? Allergieth or dithliketh?”

“Oh! Yeah, thanks for reminding me. No peppermint, sh-I’LL bust out in blotches. Absolutely no peppermint involved at any point.”

Twist filed that information, and how strongly Silver Spoon had stressed it, under important.

“Okay, tho: No peppermint, top clathth ingredientth, totally unique, 100 by nextht Thunday? Ith that right?” Silver Spoon was nodding emphatically as each item was checked off the list.

“Correct. You do this right and you can name your price. I’ll cover the costs of all ingredients and accessories. Oh, that reminds me. I want them well presented. Again, costs will be covered.”

She really wants this, Twist was intrigued now, it’ll be almost worth it to find out why.

“Well, I’ve been working on a new blend, very exthpenthive flavourth, thomething I’ve never done before. Rathelberry Thpice, I call it, addth a real kick to the fruit.”

“Sounds fine.” Silver Spoon was feigning nonchalance about the whole thing but it was still obvious how glad she was that it was all going well.

“Fine. Give me to the end of the day and I’ll give you a litht of what I need and a prithe for my time, deal?” She held out a hoof. Seemingly satisfied, Silver Spoon took it with a cocky smile on her face. Twist was still trying to figure out what that meant when Diamond Tiara walked in.

“Silver Spoon! There you are. What are you doing in here with thith thecond-thringer?” All emotion besides contempt had vanished from Silver Spoon’s expression.

“Just showing her that you’re supposed to wear glasses over your eyes, not milk bottles.”

“Hah! Totally!” The two prissy fillies left, giggling, while Twist sat there, fuming.

Oh yes, you’ll get something one-of-a-kind alright, Silver Spoon, you can count on that!

<><><><><><>

Two weeks passed. Silver Spoon had checked with her every few days to see how she was progressing. Finally the Sunday had arrived and the order was finished, wrapped and ready to go. Two servants had arrived to collect the candy. Twist, still wondering what it all was for, had followed to deliver the sweets in person. Her aunt Bonbon had taught her that it helped if you wanted to secure future business.

Surprisingly, upon reaching Silver Spoon’s home, Twist saw her aunt, along with many of Ponyville’s other chefs.

“Twist! What a surprise! What are you doing here?” Her aunt hugged her tightly.

“I was…” she struggled to remember the word Bonbon always used. Oh yes, that was it, “I was commithioned to create thome cuthtom thweetth for Thilver Thpoon.”

“Wow! That’s a big honour,” Twist smiled, happy but embarrassed,

“But I thought this was all for her mother?” Twist’s smile froze.

“Her……her mother?” Bonbon nodded, indicating a mare standing near the centre. Twist could see the resemblance immediately. She was an older Silver Spoon in nearly every way, though she didn’t seem to share her daughter’s need for spectacles. She was currently sampling the different delicacies.

“Her mother’s an important diplomat. She’ll be away from Ponyville for months and her family’s throwing her a going-away party. Her husband commissioned a lot of Ponyville’s finest chefs to make her a ton of Ponyville food for her trip. I guess to keep her from being lonely.”

“Did……did you make her thomething too?” Her aunt nodded, smiling.

“Oh yes. I collaborated with Pinkie Pie on a cake,” she chuckled, “had to be careful with the peppermint o’ course, she’s couldn’t have an important diplomat getting a bad skin blemish.”

Oh no.

“TWIST?!” Bonbon cried out as the filly suddenly took off towards the guest of honour and her family.

“THTOP! THTOP! THTOP!” She pushed through the crowd to reach the table before anything happened but Silver Spoon blocked her path before she could get there.

“What are you doing?” Hissed the filly.

“The thweetth!” Nothing seems to happen for a few moments, then a dainty cough sounded from behind the two. Turning, they saw Silver Spoon’s mother having trouble and, between fits of coughing, talking quietly and swiftly with her father. It was impossible to hear what was said until:

“PEPPERMINT!” The father roared. Silver Spoon went white, turning back to Twist with wide eyes.

“You didn’t?” Ashamed, Twist could only nod.

<><><><><><>

Even after Silver Spoon had been dragged off Twist and a doctor had been called, the scene remained tense.

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY MOTHER?”

“I-I thought they were for you.”

“You wanted to do this to me?!”

“Twist!” Bonbon walked up,

“What is going on?” Silver Spoon answered instead.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on! Your little niece took my money and then tried to poison my mother!” Unimpressed, Bonbon cocked an eye towards Twist, the unspoken question was obvious.

“I THOUGHT IT WATH FOR HER! I jutht wanted to get thome payback becauthe the’th alwayth picking on me!”

Bonbon was not sympathetic.

“Was her mother always picking on you?”

“……..No.”

“Yet she’s the one you’ve put in danger.”

“But, but….Thilver Thpoon…”

“…paid you for your work. That means she wasn’t the filly who bullied you at that point. She was a customer. A customer you took money from and didn’t give her what she asked for. That’s stealing, Twist.” Bonbon turned to Silver Spoon’s father, who had been listening and was in the process of haranguing his daughter about her part in all this.

“Sir, I sincerely apologise for my niece’s behaviour. Rest assured you will receive a full refund for your patronage and harsh disciplinary action will be taken. This is not acceptable behaviour.”

Then she turned back to Twist.

“You, young lady, stole money from a customer, ignored their instructions, put an innocent in danger and, judging by your actions when we first met, intended to keep quiet about it until it became clear that the situation was not as you thought it was."

"Twist, you CANNOT treat customers this way, regardless of how they act. If you didn’t want to do it you had the right to refuse."

"But you didn’t. You took Silver Spoon’s money and thus entered into a contract with her to provide what she asked for."

"But you didn’t. You purposefully endangered another pony when you should’ve just said no…”

Twist was in tears at this point, knowing everything that was being said was true,

“…But you didn’t.”

<><><><><><>

The next day, at the beginning of their month-long shared detention, Twist and Silver Spoon sat silently in the classroom. The other filly, who had not escaped punishment for her bullying having caused distress and humiliation for her mother, refused to acknowledge Twist’s existence.

<><><><><><>

Dear Printhethth Thelethtia, my friendth Applebloom, Thcootaloo and Thweetie Belle thaid I thould write you thith letter, telling you what I learned about friendthip today.

Today I learned that acting out of anger ith never the right acthion ath it can have unfortheen conthequenthes for you and otherth. Altho, if thomepony athkth you to uthe your thpecial talent and you agree, then that ith thomething you have to take theriously and you can’t dithregard that obligation bathed on your feelingth.

Your loyal thubject,

Twitht

<><><><><><>

Author’s note: Bonbon being Twist’s aunt isn’t my idea. I read it in another fic who’s name escapes me (could have been Past Sins), but I liked the idea so I decided to use it.

Gambling on Pride

Gambling on Pride

“La la la la la laaa.” Pinkie sang to herself as she stood in the park, juggling 4 red balls she’d plucked from a nearby tree. She’d been at it for over 20 minutes and was getting close to breaking her previous record of 29 minutes 69 seconds. She was quite insistent on that being the time she’d juggled until, no matter what Twilight said about the number of seconds in a minute.

At the 29 minute mark she started getting excited, she was already in her groove, effortlessly catching and launching the balls.

29m55s – Send all four up again for another volley.

29m58s – Switch hoofs and spin between catches.

29m62s – Bounce 3rd ball off head into white cloud.

29m6WHITE CLOUD?! Pinkie was still blinded by the cloud when something hit her in the back of the head and sent her sprawling. As she landed she heard the 4 thuds of the balls landing. She scrambled upright and glared at the body of mist.

“Hey! What’s the big idea cloud? You ruined my juggling record! Now I have to start all over!” Looking around, she only saw 2 of her balls on the ground.

I was sure I heard 4 thuds…

A yawn emerged from the cloud as the remaining two balls rose up on Pegasus wings, followed by a dark grey pony with a silver mane.

“So these things that hit me on the head, they’re yours?”

“Thunderlane? You knocked me over?” The response was another yawn.

“I did what now? I was just taking a nap, the next thing I know you’re braining me with a couple of balls.”

“I was JUGGLING! You drifted into me and ruined my record!” Still yawning, Thunderlane tossed the balls back and made a dismissive gesture.

“Big deal. If I wasn’t so lazy, I could do better in a heartbeat.” Pinkie, annoyed, opened her mouth to snap back at him but was interrupted by a booming voice.

“IS THAT SO? WHY DON’T YOU PROVE IT?” Both ponies looked towards the source of the voice, a burly stallion with thick facial hair and tennis shorts.

“Ace? What are you saying?” The big stallion didn’t immediately answer Pinkie’s question, instead flashing a ferocious smile and trotting closer to whisper in her ear.

“I have been observing. Thunderlane is right. He is lazy. This is because he hasn’t awoken his true stallionly spirit. I will aid you in awakening it.”

“Aid…me?” Pinkie was utterly confused but Ace had already turned from her and was loudly proclaiming to Thunderlane.

“WHY I DON’T THINK YOU COULD DO BETTER, THUNDERLANE! IN FACT, PINKIE COULD WIPE THE FLOOR WITH YOU, I BET!” At the word ‘bet’ a passing filly’s ears perked up and she changed course, zeroing in on the conversation. Meanwhile, the still-yawning Thunderlane was feeling a little slighted, however before he could respond a new voice entered the conversation.

“We accept that bet!” Thunderlane was utterly surprised, turning to Roseluck.

“We do?” She nodded vigorously before addressing Ace.

“Thunderlane will win. What is the competition and what do you wager?” Ace felt slightly affronted by this new mare’s forthrightness but his stallion spirit rose to the occasion.

“A true stallion never turns down a challenge. I declare the challenge to be a head-to-head juggling battle! Pinkie and Thunderlane will juggle 6 balls between them, three red and three blue, red is Pinkie and blue is Thunderlane. The first ball to hit the ground means that pony loses. A best of three!” Ace’s blood was boiling with the thrill of competition but Roseluck bore an equally impressive grin.

“That’s fine. If Thunderlane wins, he and I get free cupcakes for a year from Pinkie.”

“Hold on a se-“ Pinkie protested but was cut off.

“Agreed! However, if Pinkie wins, Thunderlane will apprentice under me for a year to learn the ways of true stallionhood!”

“Hey I don’t agree to th-“ Thunderlane tried to argue.

“Hmph. Well if that’s the best you can offer it’ll have to do.”

“HAVE TO DO?!” Ace was incensed.

“I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER?” Rose’s grin was decidedly toothy.

“It just wouldn’t be fun if we didn’t up the stakes. How about, if Thunderlane wins, you give up your racquet?”

“OOOOOOHHHH!!!” Came the cry from the gathered crowd.

“MY RACQUET?!”

“Well, if it’s too much for you…”

TOO MUCH??? NEVER!!! I agree, IF you give up your garden when Pinkie wins!”

A collective gasp sounded. Rose’s grin never faded. She stuck a hoof out.

“DEAL!”

The crowd cheered as the two shook hands and dragged their unwilling representatives away.

<><><><><><>

“Uh……Ace?” He looked up from restringing his racquet.

“Yes, Pinkie?”

“Why are you doing this? Why risk your important possession?”

“It’s for Thunderlane.”

“For Thunderlane?” Ace looped a foreleg around her shoulders.

“Yes. Thunderlane has no stallion spirit. We must help such a tragic pony. His heart is weeping. It is up to us to guide him to happiness.” Pinkie was more worried about the pony next to her than Thunderlane. She opened her mouth to say something but saw that Ace’s eyes were faraway and shining, and stallionly tears were being shed. He didn’t even move when she eased away from him, simply still standing there with his foreleg wrapped around nothing.

Sighing, Pinkie went back to practicing.

<><><><><><>

“Do you even play?” She looked up from tending her garden.

“What’s that?”

“Tennis. Do you even play it? I mean you wanted Ace to bet his racquet…”

“Oh. No, I don’t play.” Halting his practice, Thunderlane just stared at her.

“Then why? Why did you bet your garden for something that’s worthless to you? This bet isn’t even.”

“Perhaps not to you.” Rose just kept smiling as she said that, if Thunderlane wasn’t already convinced that the girl was insane, he’d be sure of it now.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rose sighed deeply and looked up at the evening sky.

“Some of the happiest times of my life where when I was broke. Betting big, winning and losing, it’s what makes life worth living.”

“Do you even care if you win?” This brought the smile back.

“Sure I do, but it isn’t the highest priority. Playing the game, stealing a kiss from Lady Luck, rolling the dice, dealing the cards, putting your fate in the hands of things outside your control………it never gets old.” She turned and stared directly Thunderlane for a few seconds before speaking.

“It can be incredibly liberating to not plan what’s going to happen next, to give up responsibility and let chance lead you. You’ll reach heights and places you never thought you’d go.”

Thunderlane just shook his head and tossed the next ball into the air.

<><><><><><>

The next day the crowd reconvened for what was already the most talked about event in town. A flat, smooth area of the park had been cordoned off as the official ‘arena’ for the match and spectators and vendors were setting up shot on the surrounding hills for a better view.

Pinkie arrived first, seemingly enjoying herself for the first time since Thunderlane bumped her the day before, held aloft of a procession that included her five friends and a sea of who Ace referred to as ‘Stallions among Stallions’, sports ponies similar to himself.

Thunderlane arrived shortly afterwards, also seeming to get into the spirit. With Roseluck, Lily and Daisy forming a triangle around him on the ground, an honour guard of Pegasus’ (with his little brother Rumble as the flagbearer) kept pace in the skies.

The pomp and circumstance of the event didn’t go unnoticed by the crowd, who whooped and cheered for one or both competitors or just in general. It was definitely the place to be for the day and the vendors and bookies were doing solid business (sadly Roseluck was forbidden from placing any bets, she was not happy about the fact).

<><><><><><>

When the two competitors finally came face to face, Ace explained the rules again. Each pony had three balls of their colour, totalling 6, which would be juggled between the two until a drop occurred. The dropped ball would cause the pony who had that colour to lose that round (Mayor Mare had been elected as an impartial umpire to make sure there were no intentional drops, if she ruled that one had taken place, the dropper would lose the round instead). It was to be a best of three competition with the prizes already established, cupcakes vs apprenticing, garden vs racquet! It’s all happening here folks!

<><><><><><>

“Alright, Pinkie, you know what to do. We must awaken Thunderlane’s stallion spirit!”

“I DON’T know what to do! Every time I asked you’d get all starry eyed and start cryingand you’re doing it again. Great.” Pinkie rolled her eyes and headed to her starting spot.

<><><><><><>

“Do your best big guy, we’ll see if Lady Luck brings the thunder!”

“That doesn’t mean anythi-oh forget it!”

Thunderlane trotted to his base and let out an exhausted sigh.

“Hey Pinkie, is your……whatever as crazy as mine is?”

“You tell me.” She pointed a hoof at the still-shedding-stallionly-tears Ace.

“I could bathe in the amount of water he’s gushed out. Not that I would though, that’d be icky.” Thunderlane had to agree, it wasn’t the nicest mental image.

<><><><><><>

That image stayed with him after the bell and ended up costing him the first round. He couldn’t concentrate and Pinkie kept changing her angles. After only 15 minutes his blue ball hit the dirt to a cheer from the sporty side. The Pegasus fans responded by shouting encouragement, nopony louder than little Rumble, so Thunderlane shook out the cobwebs and focused.

After a close, 25 minute second round, Pinkie couldn’t keep up with Thunderlane’s speed when he started using his wings to add some zip to his bounces, soon enough a red ball fell.

The match was tied up at 1-1 with only the decider to play. The crowd had fallen silent as the servers came forward to begin the third and final round.

<><><><><><>

There was no slow start here, both ponies went for it from the get go, wings and speed taking on experience and Pinkie-sense, it was a match for the ages with neither pony giving an inch.

When the announcer sounded off, showing that the time was 29 minutes and 70 seconds on the round, both ponies were flagging.

“So, Thundy,” huffed Pinkie, “what are you gonna do if you win?”

“I don’t,” wheezed ‘Thundy’, “I don’t care. Roseluck kept me up all night practicing, I just want to go back to my cloud and sleep.”

“Yeah me too, well except I have a house, not a cloud. Ace and all his ‘stallionliest’ friends showed up before dawn and started singing songs. I nearly collapsed trying to get them all to be quiet before they woke the twins. I’ve already passed my record and I don’t really care about who wins anymore. Should we just call a draw? I’ll bake you those cupcakes if you still want them.”

“Heck yes, I’m starving!”

“Okie dokie lokie!” She turned to Mayor Mare,

“Hey judgie judge! We’re calling a tie!”

As she said it, she reached up and grabbed two blue balls and caught the last one on her head. Thunderlane snagged the three red balls with his mouth and wings.

“Pinkie!/Thunderlane!” Cried Ace/Roseluck respectively, before finishing together,

“What are you doing?!”

“We don’t wanna play anymore. It’s a tie.”

“A TIE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?” The crowd’s simultaneous outburst was deafening.

“Yeah,” Pinkie giggled,

“C’mon Thundy.”

“Sure thing,” Thunderlane searched round until he found his brother,

“Rumble, let’s go, Pinkie’s gonna make us some cupcakes!”

“Yay!” The three trotted off, Rumble trying to balance a ball on his wings like his big brother.

<><><><><><>

Back at the park, the crowd was growing restless.

“Um, well…” Began Mayor Mare,

“I, uh, declare the games a tie!”

“But what about our wager?!” Roseluck yelled from the middle of the churning crowd.

“Since there’s no clear winner, I cannot enforce any prior wagers. ALL BETS ARE OFF!”

The bookies were suddenly mobbed by ponies demanding refunds on their bets.

“THUNDERLANE! YOU COME BACK HERE! YOU STILL NEED TO FIND YOUR STALLION SPIRIT!” Ace was red in the face but the Pegasus was by now too far away to hear him.

<><><><><><>

By now the rest of the crowd was thinning out and calming down to enjoy the fabulous day in the sunny park. The sporty ponies and Pegasus’ had organised a giant game of King of the Hill and were going at it, which quickly became the new source of entertainment for anypony who cared to watch. Lily and Daisy had joined Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack for a picnic. All in all a sense of normality had fallen over Ponyville after the wild few hours, though plenty of ponies were trying their hooves at juggling competitions.

Sitting away from the others, Ace and Roseluck were at a loss as to what to do next. Finally Ace drew himself up.

“I guess that’s that then. Your garden is safe and sound and I’ll have to wait until next time to mould Thunderlane into a proper stallion.”

“Yeah, since I don’t play I probably would’ve given you your racquet back anyway.”

“What do you mean you’d have given it back? Pinkie would’ve won if they continued.”

“You’re nuts! Thunderlane had her!”

“The heck you say, that spirit-less Pegasus has no stamina!”

“Pinkie couldn’t keep up!”

“PINKIE WON!”

“THUNDERLANE!”

“RED BALL!”

“BLUE BALL!”

They glared silently at each other for a moment before Rose cocked her head to the side and gave a sly smile.

“Dinner?”

Ace went red.

“W-what?!” He spluttered. Rose’s smile turned smirky as she continued:

“You don’t want to? I’d have thought a true stallion wouldn’t let a lady go un-escorted.” Ace’s embarrassment was temporarily overridden by his spirit here.

“Absolutely I will. As a stallion of stallions I insist on paying!”

“………wanna bet?”

<><><><><><>

Join Our Ponyville 'Flock'

Join Our Ponyville ‘Flock’

Three little fillies sat waiting on a bench in Town Hall.

“Whaddaya think the Mayor wants?” The cream-coloured, red-haired Earth pony asked, adjusting her bow so that it was straight.

“Dunno. We haven’t done anything crazy recently so I don’t think we’re in trouble.” The orange Pegasus was fidgeting, unhappy with being made to sit quietly for so long.

“Umm……what about when we snuck onto the train because we wanted to be Cutie Mark Crusader Choo-Choo Conductors?” The white-furred Unicorn with the two-tone purple mane winced as she remembered how that attempt had gone, but the other two just shook their heads.

“Nah, that was weeks ago. Besides, we got back before it was dark.”

“Scoots is right. I don’t think that’s it. ‘sides, if we were in trouble it’d be Applejack, Rarity or Cheerilee talkin’ to us.” Sweetie Belle breathed a visible sigh of relief about this. The other two relaxed as well, they just didn’t want to admit they were worried in front of the others.

Soon they fell silent again as the seconds ticked by. Of course, they never were very good at waiting……

<><><><><><>

The Mayor’s aide poked his head around the door and was greeted by a very strange sight.

“Ow ow ow ow!” Sweetie Belle was lying on the ground holding her horn.

“Sorry Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo apologised, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment,

“I didn’t think your horn’d be so sensitive.”

“Me neither, ah guess you won’t be getting your Cutie Mark in horn-dancing.”

“Guess not. I suppose I’ll just use my horn for magic like every other Unicorn.” Eyes still watering, she sat up slowly to avoid a headache. The aide cleared his throat:

“Umm, girls? The Mayor will see you now.”

“KAY!” The three chorused cheerfully, glad to be doing something again and eager to find out why they were here.

<><><><><><>

Seated at her desk, Mayor Mare looked over at the three fillies standing before her. She gave them a reassuring smile.

“Thank you for coming, girls. I’m sure you’re wondering what I asked you here for today.”

“Yes, ma’am, miss Mayor, ma’am.” Applebloom tried her best to be polite like her sister taught her. The Mayor just chuckled.

“Well girls, I’m sure you remember a few months ago when Ponyville was chosen to provide water for Cloudsdale, don’t you?” Excited by the reference, Scootaloo spoke up next:

“DO I! All those Pegasus’ zooming about, sucking the water up like a big straw. Naturally Rainbow Dash was in charge, she’s the best. Did you know her Wing Power was over 16?! They say that to have 10 Wing Power means you’re a strong flyer and she’s got 6 more on top of-“

“Yes, thank you, Scootaloo, I think we understand how much you think of Rainbow Dash.” Everyone in town knew that if given the chance the little orange Pegasus would talk for hours about her hero.

“Madam Mayor, what does the Cloudsdale water run have to do with us? Scootaloo didn’t take part and Applebloom and I aren’t even Pegasus’.”

“Good question, Sweetie Belle. You’re right, only one of you is a Pegasus, yet you all spend a lot of time together. That’s actually the reason why I brought you here today.” She paused briefly to make sure she had the attention of all three.

“You see, while our Cloudsdale water run was successful, we only just managed to get the necessary Wing Power, with even that requiring some last minute heroics from Fluttershy. As you know, the official overseer for the event was Spitfire of the Wonderbolts, who is well respected in the Pegasus community.” She set her papers aside and, putting her hooves together on the desk in front of her, looked strongly at each Crusader in turn.

“I’m afraid that Spitfire’s report has not left Ponyville with a good reputation among Pegasus’. They see our struggles to perform the water run as a sign that Ponyville is not………Pegasus-friendly.” At this announcement Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle all began talking at once.

“WHAT?!”

“Oh no!”

“But that’s not true!”

“Yeah! We love Scootaloo and Fluttershy…”

“AND RAINBOW DASH!”

“……Right! And Rainbow Dash and EVERYONE!”

Not at all surprised at the strength of the outburst, Mayor Mare motioned for them to calm down.

“Girls, girls, please! I know that Ponyville loves our Pegasus friends, the problem is that some ponies outside of the town don’t see it like that. However, I think you three can help us to change their minds.”

“Us?”

“What can we do?”

Mayor Mare smiled fondly at this.

“Why you three are the perfect example of different ponies working together and getting along. Everypony in town knows that Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle do everything together. Whatever you…” she stopped to remember the right words,

“Whatever you Cutie Mark Crusaders do, you always make sure that you all can do it, nopony is left out because they’re a Pegasus or a Unicorn or an Earth pony. When you three work together you do some amazing feats.” The three reddened under the praise. Driving the point home, the Mayor pointed a hoof dramatically.

“So, Cutie Mark Crusaders, are you ready to help Ponyville and the Pegasus’?” Their eyes went wide, the girls were suckers for theatrics. Grinning madly, they saluted.

“Can do, miss Mayor, ma’am!”

“We’ll do our very best!”

“You can count on us!”

As one, they bunched together and cried out:

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PONYVILLE PEGASUS…….uh……Pegasus…..”

“……Persuaders?” Suggested Mayor Mare, struggling not to chuckle at their zeal.

“That’s perfect! Cutie Mark Crusader Ponyville Pegasus Persuaders! YAY!”

As the fillies stormed out of her office, the town leader sat back in her chair.

Somehow, I think they’ll manage.

<><><><><><>

Retreating to their clubhouse, the CMC got down to their task.

“So, Scootaloo, you’re a Pegasus, what do you think about all this fuss?”

“Hmmmmmaybe, it’s a little tricky though.”

“I know, we mustn’t accidentally enable a stereotype, even a positive one.” Sweetie Belle soon found the other two giving her quizzical looks.

“What?”

“What the hay does that mean?”

“It’s something my sister says when she’s talking about the models for her dresses. She says that even though they all look tall and thin she can’t make the dresses just for tall, thin ponies,” she switched her voice to a haughtier tone, trying to imitate her sister’s cultured speaking style,

“If you only allow for one variation then that will become all you receive.” They all fell silent for a moment to think about Rarity-by-way-of-Sweetie Belle’s words. Then Applebloom spoke up:

“So………what the hay does that mean?” Rolling her eyes, Sweetie Belle pushed her over with a grin.

“It means that you can’t always expect one thing from anypony, no matter how many other ponies do it.” Scootaloo was nodding in agreement.

“Yeah, I mean look at Pinkie Pie. She’s an Earth pony but half the stuff she does is crazier than Unicorn magic!”

“Well………that might be something to think about, but how can we use it for Pegasus’?”

“What about Rainbow Dash? She’s awesome at her job.” Scootaloo never missed an opportunity to plug some Rainbow-worship, but Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were pensive.

“Yeah…….sorta. I mean, we know Rainbow Dash is pretty good but she’s a weatherpony. That’s kinda what IS expected from Pegasus’. We need somethin’ you wouldn’t think of straight away.” Applebloom gave an apologetic look to Scootaloo, who pouted for a second before speaking up.

“How about Fluttershy? She takes care of animals and lives in a cottage, not on a cloud.”

“Yeah, that’s a good one. She doesn’t rely on her wings to do everything.” Scootaloo and Applebloom hoofbumped but Sweetie Belle still didn’t look convinced.

“I’m not sure that’s the right way to do it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well that could give the wrong idea too. Instead of having a Pegasus always doing Pegasus activities, you send the message that you come to Ponyville to NOT do Pegasus stuff.”

“Huh, I didn’t think of that.”

“This issue’s a might more complex than we figured, huh?”

“I still think we’re on the right track but we can’t just do ‘Pegasus’ and ‘not Pegasus’, we need something in between.”

Each filly was silent for a few minutes as they racked their brains to figure out what to do next. Finally Applebloom spoke up:

“Hey, what’s the name o’ that li’l filly in the other class, purple Unicorn with the blonde mane?”

“Diddy?”

“Donkey?”

“Dinky! Dinky Hooves! That’s it.”

“Yeah, her. Her mom’s a mailmare right? We can use her!”

“But that’s a Pegasus job, isn’t it?” Scootaloo was wondering where her friend was going with this but Sweetie Belle agreed with Applebloom.

“No, it’s fine. Dinky’s mom, I think her name’s Derpy, she’s not the only mailpony in town, there’s a bunch of them. They’ve got Earth, Unicorn and Pegasus too! We can say that Pegasus’ can do the same jobs as any other ponies and work with them too!”

“Ohhh, I get it. I’m liking this idea!”

“So we’ve got Rainbow Dash on the Pegasus end, Fluttershy on the other side and Derpy in the middle. That should be useful to the Mayor, right?” Sweetie Belle took this opportunity to get her own hoofbump, however this time it was Scootaloo shaking her head.

“Guys, we’ve only been talking about what it’s like for a Pegasus to work in Ponyville. We haven’t thought about what it’s like to live in an Earth pony town like this.”

“Oh, right.” Chorused the Earth & Unicorn fillies.

“Well,” Applebloom began, stroking her chin,

“For that we gotta show little Pound Cake. His sister’s a Unicorn and his folks are Earth ponies but they love each other t’ bits.”

“Well yeah, but who else?” The two crossed their forelegs and tried to think of other Pegasus’ to talk about.

“Ooh ooh ooh!” Sweetie Belle was almost vibrating with excitement.

“What’s wrong Sweetie Belle?”

“What about ‘The Pulse’?” She wore a savvy grin here but the others just looked confused.

“The whut?”

“Who?”

“The Pulse. That’s what everypony calls Nurse Redheart and Silverspeed. They share a house near the hospital where they work and spend their time off in the pub. Apparently, according to Pinkie Pie, they’re unbeatable when they work together, doesn’t matter which game. They always win!”

“Ah think ah’ve heard that too, when Big Macintosh goes off with Caramel they sometimes talk about them when they get back.”

“Really? I’ve never heard anything like that.” Scootaloo looked from one to the other. They seemed certain.

“So Pound Cake’s got a loving family and Silverspeed can’t be beat when she works with Nurse Redheart? Do we have anything else?”

“I cain’t think of anythin’. Think we got enough?”

“We probably need at least one more, but who?”

“Why don’t we, just this once and for the right reasons this time, bring back Gabby Gums for some snooping?”

“Are you sure? Everypony was awful sore at us the last time.”

“Yeah but this time we won’t be reporting anything, we’ll just be gathering facts. It’ll be fine!”

“Well, if you’re sure…”

“Yeah, we’ll show what we’ve got to the Mayor after we get some more info.”

<><><><><><>

Mayor Mare put down the report after reading and re-reading it.

“Well girls, this is certainly thorough. I’m very impressed.”

“Happy to help, miss Mayor, ma’am.”

“It was really fun when we started asking around.”

“Yeah! Everypony in town had a Pegasus story to tell.”

“And I’m sure you found them all, given how much is here. I’ll have my writing staff make a final draft then we’ll be ready to go. You did wonderfully.” The three fillies wore ‘aw shucks’ expressions.

“Now all that’s left is to choose a pony to do the presentation. Do the Cutie Mark Crusader Ponyville Pegasus Persuaders have any ideas?”

“Well….” Applebloom began, looking at Sweetie Belle,

“Actually….” Sweetie Belle continued, looking back at Applebloom,

As one they nodded and, raising a hoof each, pointed at Scootaloo, who noticed.

“Wait……WHAT?!”

“Oh don’t act like you didn’t see this coming, only-Pegasus-in-town-we-didn’t-get-a-story-from.” Sweetie Belle grinned widely at her.

“C’mon Scoots, it has to be you, you know that.” Applebloom mirrored the Unicorn’s expression.

“But I….” Outnumbered, Scootaloo looked to Mayor Mare for support….

<><><><><><>

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were in the front row as the presentation began, along with Mayor Mare, Spitfire, several more Wonderbolts and assorted other Cloudsdale officials.

“Ponyville may have been founded by Earth ponies, but….”

<><><><><><>

Author's note: I would be very loathe to say that these last 2 chapters have been my best work. I'll try to learn for the future.

Season's 'Greetings' Grandma

Season’s ‘Greetings’ Grandma

“Mail for you!” Chirped the blonde and grey Pegasus cheerfully. The recipient, a pink and blonde Earth pony with a flower Cutie Mark, smiled back as she accepted them.

“Thanks a bunch Derpy, on time as always. Got any room in that bag of yours for a muffin?”

“Always have so far, thanks.” She immediately devoured the sweet treat, making the issue moot,

“Gotta go finish my round, see you later, Lily.”

“Take care. Say hi to little Dinky for me.” Both smiled as the mailmare continued on her rounds.

<><><><><><>

Back in the house, Lily was boiling some tea while she opened her mail.

“Lessee here……bill, bill, ‘Sell us your house, there’s homeless ponies in Ponyville’, more of a lateral move than an improvement really, bill aaaaand……..ugh, here we go again.”

The final letter on the table was embossed with top quality paper and gold finish, sealed with wax in a familiar shape. Shaking her head, Lily went to see if her tea was done. She wanted to at least be comfortable for this farce.

<><><><><><>

Settling herself in with a steaming mug of aromatic brew, she finally broke the seal and unfolded the envelope.

Greetings, granddaughter. After hearing about this publicity drive to bring more of those winged savages to your already infested town, I wanted to reiterate my desire to see you happy and safe with a husband of good standing and suitable genetics. As your last reply did not seem satisfied with the potential spouses I had arranged I have provided you with a new group to look over. Hopefully these will be more to your liking. You know I have only your best interests at heart and I worry about all those feathered beasts and horned demons that invade all but the most stalwart of TRUE pony settlements. These Pegasus’ and Unicorns may claim to be ponies but I trust you see the truth. They are freaks and abominations, deserving only our contempt.

I again urge you to come live with me here, in Aripona, where those vermin are not tolerated and real ponies have moral fortitude. It would do my heart good to know you are safe. Please don’t wait too long to reply. It makes me worry.

I am praying for your safety,

Bouquet Blanche

Lily sighed and set the letter back on her table. It was more of the same really. It was the same as it ever was. Her ‘loving’ grandmother would contact her periodically, usually in response to some news story, and stress the importance of marriage to a wealthy Earth pony. Only an Earth pony. Lily had never understood why her grandmother hated Pegasus’ and Unicorns so much. It had been hell during foalhood, where her grandmother, all the way from Aripona, had lobbied endlessly for separate schools in Ponyville for Earth and non-Earth. She’d even gone so far as to offer to pay for the Earth-only school herself. All it had accomplished was to turn Lily into a pariah in the eyes of her classmates. She just wanted to be friends but they’d shunned her. If not for Rose and Daisy she might have given in and gone to live with her grandmother.

Luckily she hadn’t and, through tireless work to show that she was NOT her grandmother, she had gradually won back the friendship of her Pegasus and Unicorn schoolmates. However, Bouquet Blanche was not known for giving up. She’d been persistent, all the way to marehood. Lily had tried every which way she knew to get the point across. She. Was. Not. Interested. However each letter brought a new set of suitors, all, in Lily’s eyes at least, completely interchangeable. They all seemed to be dressed in the same cut of suit, professionally groomed and tycoons in some field or other. Lily had been polite at first, even agreeing to meet a few of them. Suffice it to say, there had never been any second meetings.

Glancing back at the letter, Lily found herself growing angry. It was much the same as her grandmother’s other attempts, except for that bit at the end. It would do my heart good to know you are safe. Please don’t wait too long to reply. It makes me worry. The guilt trip was a new tactic. It left a bad taste in Lily’s mouth. How dare her grandmother try to turn it around on her like this? Making out that she was the unreasonable one? The more she thought of it, the angrier she got.

Too far, grandmother, too far this time. I think I’m gonna have to be more forceful with my replies.

<><><><><><>

“First, thank you all for coming. I don’t mean to inconvenience you if I can help it.” Lily looked at the gathered ponies and felt a twinge of unease.

I shouldn’t be asking this of them, even for a cause like this.

“Is everything okay, Lily? Your note didn’t explain much.” Derpy had returned and, at Lily’s request, had brought her daughter with her.

“Mommy, what’s going on?”

“Wait and see, Muffin.” Dinky was about to respond when another of the room’s occupants spoke up.

“Your summons spoke of free flowers for a year, such a handsome prize portends trouble, I fear.” The speaker was Zecora, the soft-spoken rhyming Zebra who made her home in the Everfree Forest. A regular customer of Lily’s, she was always willing to have a friendly chat.

“YEEEAAAAHHH! Tell us what’s going on!” Roid Rage, the manically strong Pegasus with surprisingly undersized wings, rounded out the group. He had no real connection to Lily or the others but was never one to turn down a free meal or an interesting afternoon.

“Weeelll….” Lily began, picking her words carefully,

“I…my grandmother keeps pressuring me to get married. Thing is, she’s an old-fashioned Earth pony. Only wants me to marry another Earth pony. She actually kinda……hates Pegasus’ and Unicorns.”

“Is that so?” Roid Rage’s eyes had narrowed while Derpy had a hoof held protectively around Dinky.

“Yeah. She’s wrong and she keeps sending me these horrible letters, calling Pegasus’ and Unicorns all these awful names while at the same time trying to fix me up with whatever trust fund punk she’s found this time. She just won’t stop! Her tactics keep getting dirtier and dirtier and…….and……..and I just wanna fight back!”

“So you gathered two Pegasus’, a Unicorn and a Zebra, who I’m guessing your grandma isn’t too fond of either?”

“It’d be pretty long odds.”

“These letters you despise, may we see them with our own eyes?”

“Uh….sure.”

<><><><><><>

The three (after reading 3 lines into the first letter, Derpy had forbidden Dinky from reading them, so instead the little Unicorn helped Lily prepare some snacks in the kitchen) read carefully through the correspondence, grimacing pretty much constantly at the language being thrown about by Lily’s grandmother. When they were finished, as Lily brought the food out from the kitchen, trailed by Dinky, the three turned in unison to her.

“What do you need?”

“YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!”

“Your grandmother has so much hate, it must be hard to tolerate.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe, Zecora. It’s why I haven’t visited her in years. Anyway, as you can see from her letters, she wants to see me with a happy family. So I figured I’d give her what she wants……ish.” The three started to realise the plan and had knowing smiles on their faces. Dinky, who hadn’t read the letters, was a little further behind.

“What are you all talking about?” Smiling at the inquisitive filly, Lily knelt down to look her square in the eye.

“Dinky, do you like being a Unicorn?”

“Uh huh.” She smiled, nodding enthusiastically.

“Of course you do. And do you like your mommy being a Pegasus?”

“YEAH! Flying with mommy’s really fun!”

“Good answer. Now then, my grandmother is being a silly pony and thinks that Unicorns and Pegasus’ are bad. Could you help me change her mind?” Dinky was giggling and bouncing up and down now.

“She’s a very silly pony. I’ll help.”

“Thank you, sweetie. It means a lot to me.”

“I wanna help. You’re mommy’s friend.”

“Am I your friend too?”

“Uh huh! Uh huh!” Her mother was almost vibrating with pride at this point but she gathered herself and addressed her daughter.

“Good girl, Muffin. You make sure to do what Lily tells you then.”

“Yes, mommy.” Thanking them both, Lily stood up and addressed the group.

“Okay, we’re going to take some pictures of our ‘family’. Sort of like playing House,” she added for Dinky’s benefit,

“Derpy will take the pictures.”

“Yay mommy!”

“So myself and Roid Rage will play the parents and Dinky will play the child, Zecora is a family friend.” Dinky was having the time of her life with all the pretending.

“Heeheehee, auntie Zecora!” This shocked Zebra mare but she quickly recovered.

“In my homeland I have no brother, to become an auntie, even for a moment, is a sense unlike any other.”

“Alright then, let’s start. Places everyone………no no, Derpy, the camera’s facing the wrong way, it’s looking at you right now. Turn it around……now it’s upside down, rotate it. Keep rotating, keep rotatiTOO FAR! Back a smidge……there you go.”

<><><><><><>

A few hours later, after the photos had been developed, Lily and Derpy were looking over them in the kitchen while Zecora and Roid Rage played with Dinky in the living room.

“So why us?” Lily looked up at Derpy’s question. There was no accusation, just curiosity.

“Well I wanted to find a Pegasus and Unicorn that would bug my grandmother’s ridiculously close-minded expectations. You saw all the stallions she was sending me. Fancy types, can run a business but absolutely useless outside of their office. Does that sound like Roid Rage to you?” They chortled.

“Heck, no! He’s as far from it as you can get. He’s 100% in everything he does,” they both glanced into the other room where Roid Rage was flexing and Dinky, sitting on his head, was copying him. Zecora was splitting her sides at the sight as Lily continued:

“He’s also a much more honest pony, none of the acidic social upbringing that those stiffs got.”

“True, so why my little Muffin?”

“She’s about the bubbliest little thing I’ve ever seen. She smiles easily too. Even if you had taught it to her, I doubt the idea that ‘foals should be seen and not heard’ would fly with her.” Derpy was beaming at the praise for her little girl, who was currently being taught a native dance by Zecora. Roid Rage was trying too but he was……less than graceful.

“Plus the fact that they both have hair colour similar to mine sells the idea that she’s our child, but that was just a lucky coincidence.”

“The best kind.”

“Yup yup,” Lily paused for a moment and became pensive,

“Listen, I want you to know that I DON’T just see you guys as Unicorn, Pegasus and Zebra. I am sorry that it looks like I’m using you in that way.”

“Yyyeeaahh,” drawled Roid Rage as he drifted into the kitchen,

“Don’t worry, we know you don’t. Your grandmother does, though, and sometimes to get your point across you have to present it in a way that THEY will understand.” Derpy nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, don’t worry, we knew you wouldn’t do that to us, plus we got some new friends out of the deal, so it worked out pretty good.”

“Mommy! Lily! Roidy!” Dinky’s voice chirped from the other room,

“Come see me and Zecora’s dance!” Derpy immediately headed in while Roid Rage turned to Lily.

“Coming?”

“Just gotta get these sealed in the envelope.” Nodding, he made his way through the opening with a “YEEEAAAAHHHH!”

Lily looked over the photos they’d taken of their ‘family’. Her and Roid holding Dinky while Zecora pressed in from the side, a pony pyramid with Dinky balancing on Lily-and-Zecora balancing on Roid Rage, Roid Rage doing pushups with Dinky underneath pretending to hold him up, Dinky simultaneously beating all three of them at hoof wrestling, a shot of them all ‘asleep’ on the couch, and many more just like them.

Grandmother, I was happier with this ‘family’ than I ever would have been with any of the ones YOU envisioned for me. I hope you can see that one day.

“LILY! COME WATCH!” Smiling, she tucked the pictures into the envelope and licked it shut.

“Coming!”

<><><><><><>

Imagination Reformation

Imagination Reformation

“Oh no! Ninjas!”

“Ninjas? Aw-haw-haw-some!”

“Yeah! I wanna be a ninja!”

“Are you kidding? Ninjas are the bad guys. Now Vikings and pirates, they’re the awesome ones!”

“HEY! Would you boys shut up?!” Startled, the four colts looked up from their comic book at Diamond Tiara, who was glaring at them from across the room.

“Besides, princesses are better than all of them!”

All together; Snips, Snails, Pipsqueak and Featherweight all gasped and glared back. Diamond Tiara ignored them and headed back to her friends.

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” Muttered Featherweight.

“Princesses are better than pirates? She’s crazy.” Added Pip.

“Totally! Though ninjas are still better.” Snips couldn’t resist.

“I still want to be a ninja.” Snails, off in his head, managed to add.

“Too bad we can’t find out for real. That’d be really fun.”

“Maybe we can,” mused Snips,

“I’m sure I heard about a spell that lets you see books in your head like a movie. We could do it for the comic!”

“But where are we gonna find a unicorn to cast it for us?”

Snips growled at this. Snails, still seeing himself as ninja-Snails in his head, didn’t notice.

“There’s two of us right here Pip!”

“Well, yeah I guess,” began the Trottingham pony,

“But doesn’t it require a lot of magical power?”

“Ah, I’m sure me and Snails could do it between us, right Snails? Snails? SNAILS!” Snips hollered at his friend, finally penetrating the haze.

“Huh? Oh yeah, sure, what Snips said.”

“You see? We could totally do it! What do you say?” Pip and Featherweight looked at each other for a moment before grinning and nodding back.

“I’m in!”

“Me too!”

“Sweet! Me and Snails will go look up the spell later on and we’ll cast it tomorrow after school, okay?”

“Kay!”

<><><><><><>

As the little ones left school for the day, the four colts were among those who were spending time in the school playground. At Snips’ signal, they set the comic down and stepped back.

“Snips, are you sure you can do this?” Pipsqueak had had all night to let his doubts build.

“One hundred percent!” He looked to his partner in crime, who was thinking about ninjas again.

“Snails, we’re up. Follow my lead.”

“Yeah, sure, you got it Snips.”

It took quite a bit of time to build the power needed to cast the spell, so that when they finally began there were only a half-dozen kids left in the vicinity. Magical trails from the horns of the two unicorn colts slowly wove their way down to the comic book, causing it to glow and shift. Soon it began to spin as the light got brighter and brighter, forcing the four to shield their eyes with their hooves so they could only look through slits.

This viewpoint caused Snails to again think about being ninja-Snails, just as the light exploded outwards.

<><><><><><>

“Urgh, by Celestia’s beard…” Muttered the Pegasus as he sat up. Shaking his head to clear it, he took stock. Finding himself in unfamiliar surroundings, the woodlands before him offered few answers. Groggily standing up, he went through the Viking emergency checklist.

Body? Aye. Mane? Attached. Axe? Nay. Where is mine axe?! Becoming increasingly angry (the only appropriate attitude, Vikings do not get worried), he cast about for his axe, finally spotting it wedged between two roots. Tugging it free, he slung it over his shoulder and began walking, trying to remember why he was here.

<><><><><><>

“I say, slow down!”

“Yar.”

“Do we have to travel this way?”

“Yar.”

“Is there anywhere I could freshen up?”

“YAAARRRR!!!! Why did I find the only princess in the entire world who has nothing of value?” Said princess drew herself up haughtily.

“Now see here, you vagabond! I don’t appreciate you talking about me in such a manner?”

“Why, yer majesty? Is the language of a pirate too salty for you?” This brought more dignified outrage.

“You, sir, are no gentlecolt.”

“Well thank goodness for that or this’d probably never work. Now, kindly shut up while I find my way out of here.”

“How dare you?! I am Dia Monti Ara, princess of this land!” The pink-clad princess stomped her hoof in anger. The pirate wheeled about, facing her with a cocky grin on his face.

“Well I’m Pipward Squeakgate, otherwise known as Whitefur, somehow, I think it more likely you’ve heard of me than I have of you.” For the first time the princess seemed to see him properly.

“YOU are Whitefur?”

“I know, you thought I’d be taller. I get that a lot.”

“You are the dread pirate who everypony fears?” His grin got wider.

“Good, isn’t it? Helps a great deal with my endeavours. Why ponies just throw food, drink and wenches such as yourself at me so that I don’t sack their town. I don’t go hungry, I’ll tell you that.”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING A WENCH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?” She tried to slap him across the face for the insult but he simply dodged it. She tried again with the same result. This went on for a minute or two before the two became aware of a rustling among the bushes. Not smiling now, Whitefur drew his sword, just in time to bring it up to meet the axe of the roaring Pegasus who’d jumped from the greenery. Princess Ara shrieked and scrambled away behind some trees, poking her head out as the two battled.

“Well, my good chap,” Pipward breathed as he blocked and swung,

“What seems to be the problem?”

“I DEMAND BATTLE! THEN ANSWERS!” Roared the Pegasus as his axe crashed against the sword again.

“I’m having a thought here, friend. How’s about I scurry back a few steps, you do the same, and we skip straight to the answers? You’re scaring the lady.” The Viking simply smirked back.

“Dost thou mean the lady that was spirited away whilst we did battle?”

“WHAT?!” Eyes wide, Whitefur spun around to search for her, then back to his opponent,

“You didn’t think to mention this earlier?”

“Battles are for blades, not words.” Throwing his hooves up in frustration, Pip quickly lowered them again as his opponent took this as a sign of aggression and raised his axe in response.

“Did you at least see which way they went?” The Viking nodded and pointed with his axe.

“Aye. Two wraiths stole yon wench away in that direction.” The pirate sighed.

“Well, come on. We’d best head that way and try to get some answers, eh?”

“Verily.” They began walking, keeping a wary distance between each other.

“I am Feathor Weightsson, who is thine father?”

“Good question. I’ll tell you when I find out. The name’s Whitefur in the meantime.”

<><><><><><>

“I apologise for your rough ride, my dear. Sunipu and Sunairusu are extremely efficient but they are not much concerned with luxuries,” Princess Ara’s eyes cracked open as the strange pony continued talking,

“That being said, I welcome you to my lair. Hopefully your stay will be a brief and pleasant one.” She craned her neck around but couldn’t see her captor.

“Who are you? Where have you taken me?”

“Ah, forgive my manners. Unfortunately I can’t disclose our location, however, I can at least introduce myself.” Suddenly, lightning crackled all around them and a rotund pony in a lab coat stood on a Dias amongst the tanks and wires.

“I am Professor Truffle Shuffle, the greatest genius of our time!” Dia hadn’t heard of him but played along anyway until she could discern a suitable way to escape.

“What do you want with me…….Professor?” The corpulent scientist gave her a not-unkind smile.

“Very little, your majesty. Simply put, you are a means to an end. Your father the king is, according to rumours, filthy rich. I am in need of capital to continue my research. I am hopeful that the king will be accommodating if I guarantee the safe return of his daughter.”

“So I am a hostage?”

“Such an ugly word, my dear. Too many negative connotations. I prefer to think of you as a way to strengthen my negotiating position."

“To gain money you haven’t earned.” This was, perhaps, the wrong thing to say.

“HAVEN’T EARNED?! Nopony is more deserving than I! I alone scoured the world to discover the clues left behind, the trail of breadcrumbs leading to the ultimate prize! No, Princess, I have earned my fee a hundred times over and a hundred times again!” He visibly collected himself,

“However, I am no extortionist. I do not ask for vast sums, only enough to cover my costs. I am no banker. To me, excess capital is more a nuisance than a help.”

“What will you do if my father doesn’t pay?”

“Well first I would be disappointed in him for being so callous with his daughter’s wellbeing. After that I would, regrettably, have to force the issue, preferably non-lethally.”

“Your reluctance to harm speaks well of you Professor. Why not let me go to my father myself so that I can argue your case?”

“You are too kind, Princess, but alas I cannot permit it. Freeing you would be much too dangerous, given your current situation. Look down.” She did, noticing for the first time her bindings and that she was suspended above a churning quicksand sea.

“You understand now, yes? You are safest where you are.”

“Yes,” she hissed, thoughts of the terrible vengeance she would wreak upon this colt the moment she was free filling her mind,

“I understand perfectly.”

<><><><><><>

“Art doors of iron common to the forests of his land?”

“Are they common to the forests of ANY land? Come on, let’s get it open.” A cursory search yielded no visible means of entry and neither of them had the tools on hand to force them open.

“They appear most impenetrable.”

“Well I’m not leaving without finding out what’s in there. There must be some way in.”

That was when the trapdoor opened under their hooves.

<><><><><><>

“So what is your vaunted research, Professor? You act as if it will change the world.”

“Oh but it shall my dear. Indeed it shall. For you see I am close, tantalizingly close, to rediscovering the lost powers of the alchemists!”

“Alchemists? Those charlatans who boasted of being able to turn water into wine and the like?”

“The very same. Though I do not intend to simply sweeten my water. My goal is the Silver-Spoon method.”

“Silver-Spoon?”

“Yes. Though it is not necessary to use spoons, they merely were the tools of choice at the time due to their abundance. The practice is more concerned with the purification of metals. Your common cutlery has a silver content of perhaps 1 in one thousand. The process would instead refine it into pure silver. I’m told any metal can be obtained with this. Hopefully even those we theorise can no longer exist in nature. To find a near-inexhaustible supply of these precious metals and their unique properties would open so many avenues for both myself and the world.”

“It sounds fascinating, except you are guaranteed to disrupt the balance through your actions.”

“The balance would readjust itself beneath me. I could provide anything to those willing to work with me. Rest assured, unless forced to act otherwise, benevolent uplifting would be my path.” A cloaked figure appeared at his side and spoke quietly in his ear.

“Ah, do excuse me my dear, I’m afraid I must deal with this.” He turned and pushed a button on the Dias. Far above, a distant clunk was heard, then cries of surprise, coming closer, until a hidden panel opened in the wall and two stallions shot out and landed in a heap on the floor. Dia Monti couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Whitefur!”

“Yes,” continued Truffle Shuffle,

“And Weightsson as well. You are so very prompt with your visits.”

“Professor?” Asked Whitefur, thoroughly confused.

“TRUFFLE SHUFFLE!” Roared Feathor, brandishing his axe.

“It is good to see you both again, however I caution you against rash actions. We wouldn’t want the Princess to come to harm now would we? I have promised her safety and I do not wish to break that promise.”

“The wench is no concern of mine, villain. Have at thee!” Weightsson charged forward.

“Oh dear. This will be trouble. Sunipu, Sunairusu?”

Feathor Weightsson had to halt his charge as several shuriken flew towards him from the side, which he deflected with his axe. Turning to face his new foe, he was very nearly decapitated from behind by a second cloaked figure brandishing razor shears that would have taken his head off, had he not ducked. Rolling away, the Viking faced both his shadowy assailants, axe raised, as they came at him again.

Off to the side, Whitefur was still facing the Professor.

“What’s this all about?”

“Oh, must I explain it again. I just finished telling the tale to her majesty.” Whitefur seemed to notice her for the first time.

“What’s Princess Ara doing here? Princess Ara, what are you doing here?” She rolled her eyes.

“Discussing the details of my wedding day,” she deadpanned,

“Does it matter? Get me out of here this instant!”

“What’s in it for me, Princess Pauper?”

“My dad’s loaded.” She retorted matter-of-factly. Shrugging, Whitefur unsheathed his cutlass.

“Works for me.” He moved towards her but, displaying impressive agility for a pony his size, Truffle Shuffle bounded in between them. The Professor produced a serrated blade and a trident from beneath his lab coat.

“I can’t let you do that, Whitefur. I need her father’s money.”

“Back of the line, Professor.”

The two met in a fierce clash of blade-on-blade.

<><><><><><>

“Thanks for coming Twilight. I think you’re my best chance of fixing this.”

Cheerilee and the violet unicorn surveyed the scene. The 5 colts and 1 filly were completely oblivious to anything around them, totally swept up into the comic storyline. Featherweight was defending himself against Snips and Snails, his ‘axe’ was a plastic spade fending off the weapons of the two unicorns, ‘razor shears’ (safety scissors) and shuriken (snails). On the other side, Pipsqueak’s ‘cutlass’ (squeaky foam sword) clashed with Truffle Shuffle’s ‘serrated blade and trident’ (knife and fork). The ‘Princess’ was shouting encouragement to ‘Whitefur’ from her suspension over a ‘churning sand sea’ (strung up from the monkey bars over the sandbox).

“Sooo…..the spell backfired then?” Cheerilee blinked in surprise.

“Spell? What spell?”

“Snips and Snails came by the library yesterday evening. They wanted to try a spell that would make them see the comic book play out in their imagination……and the imagination of 4 other ponies it seems. But it wasn’t supposed to make them like this.” The teacher mare just sighed.

“Snips and Snails are……overeager about their magic. What little they have only works maybe half of the time. This looks like the other half.”

“Mhm. Don’t worry, I was curious after the boys left and looked up the spell. I know how to turn it off. Better stand back though, I don’t want any stray magic messing you up.” Cheerilee nodded and stepped back a few paces. Twilight centred her balance and began the undo spell. She focused it through the original casters, Snips and Snails, piggybacking their magical connections to the others to spread the effect. There was another flash like the one that started it all but when it faded the 5 colts were standing there looking confused. Sunipu and Sunairusu might have been able to levitate their ‘weapons’ with ease but now that the two little colts’ minds had taken over, their floating objects crashed to the ground. Truffle, Pip and Featherweight were shaking their heads as if trying to clear water out of their ears. After a few moments, all five spoke at once.

“What the hay was that?”

Twilight and Cheerilee, satisfied that they were back to normal, just smiled and told the kids to start cleaning up their mess.

“Hey! Somepony get me down from here right now! This is not funny!”

<><><><><><>

Author’s note: This is a complete rewrite from the original idea for this chapter. I got maybe 600 words in and realised I didn’t like the premise at all. So I scrapped the entire thing for a rewrite which also had the effect of adding Truffle Shuffle. It’s a good thing.

Carrot Tom & AnJerry

Carrot Tom & AnJerry

Carrot Top sat relaxing on her porch, overlooking her expansive carrot patch. The warm summer sun had her dozing, barely awake, when out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw a strange sight: A carrot rising up a few inches and moving away. Puzzled, she raised her head in that direction but couldn’t see anything. Shrugging, she laid her head down to sleep.

<><><><><><>

The next day, while she was tending to her patch, strange carrot movement off to the side caught her eye but again, when she looked, there was nothing amiss. She looked around suspiciously, looking for signs of a prank from her friend, Derpy Hooves. Nopony was there. Wary, she slowly went back to her gardening, periodically glancing around to catch any funny business.

<><><><><><>

On the third day, a carrot again rose up and began moving away. However, before it had gotten too far, it bumped into something solid. Backing up, the carrot moved to the side slightly and carried on, but the solid object moved to block it. This happened when it went the other way too. Confused, Angel looked around the carrot to see what was in his way. It was then that he realised that the object blocking his path was Carrot Top’s leg. Gulping, he looked up towards her face. Carrot Top was all smiles. Specifically, the type of smile you see in the water with a fin and moving towards you at high speed. Giving a guilty little chuckle, Angel turned and bolted in the other direction, with the pony giving chase.

Dashing around the tool shed, Angel headed for freedom. A few steps behind, Carrot Top rounded the shed and accelerated…

…straight into the rake that swung up into her face.

<><><><><><>

On the 4th day, Angel had gotten his carrot but there was no sign of Carrot Top, so he settled down on top of the scarecrow to enjoy his ill-gotten gains. Nibbling away at the tip, he didn’t notice the hoof that grabbed the leaves until he was hanging by his teeth in mid-air. Pushing her straw hat up a little further, scarecrow-Carrot Top smirked at Angel, who hung there sweating. He began biting into the carrot; tip, body, top, leaves, hoof. Carrot Top yelped and swung her hoof upwards, launching Angel into the air. On the way down he grabbed the straw hat and dragged it down over her eyes. He dashed away while she was tugging it off.

<><><><><><>

The 5th day was trickier for the bunny. Carrot Top was patrolling up and down the carrot patch, a wickedly-sharp-looking pitchfork slung over her shoulder. He could see no way to get close like this. He’d have to get creative.

Carrot Top refused to let that insufferable rabbit outdo her again. She was not going to be beaten by a PET! Nodding to herself, she continued pacing. A noise drew her attention to the corner of the house. She spotted the silhouette of a pair of triangles, bunny ears! She dashed towards them and took a flying leap, pitchfork at the ready, looking forward to raining down some payback on those bunny ears which, on closer inspection, were starting to look a lot more like open hedge clippers……uh oh. Abort! Abort! Abort! Mid-leap she tried to turn and run away but only succeeded in getting herself turning around, so she was now travelling flank-first.

With background accompaniment of the Earth mare’s anguished howls, Angel took his time to fetch his snack, sauntering away leisurely.

<><><><><><>

The 6th day was no better for the pony. She’d called in her blonde Pegasus friend to help her catch the rodent once and for all. Derpy was scanning the garden from above while Carrot Top stood closer with her pitchfork. Angel had snagged a carrot and was making a break for it when Derpy called out a location to Carrot Top, who sighted the intruder, took aim and let fly with the pitchfork. It pinned Angel to the side of the tool shed, the prongs on either side of his neck. Try as he might he could not get loose. The two ponies surrounded him. Holding out a hoof, Carrot Top demanded her vegetable back. Angel gave it up without protest. After tugging the pitchfork free, Carrot Top’s hoof pointed Angel straight off her property.

Knowing when he was beaten, Angel shrugged and held out a paw for Derpy to shake. Happy that the bunny had learned his lesson, she took it with a smile. While he was shaking the Pegasus’ hoof, he held out his other paw for Carrot Top. Following her friend’s example, she smiled as they shook digits. All smiles, the three shook paws and hooves for a few seconds, then Angel let go and crossed his paws, offering the other to each pony. They shook again, still smiling. Then, instead of letting go, Angel pulled his paws closer until they crossed again. While the ponies were still smiling, and shaking the hoof of the other thanks to some slight-of-paw, Angel took the forgotten carrot and scarpered. He was halfway down the road when the Earth pony’s furious bellow reached his ears.

<><><><><><>

The 7th day involved no trickery, Carrot Top just ran down the bunny and grabbed him by the ears. She shook him in her grasp, growling at him as she tried to figure out what to do to him. Angel just reached for the carrot but the pony pulled it out of reach. His spirits diminishing, he turned his big, sorrowful eyes on the pony. She was unimpressed. On cue, his stomach rumbled, loudly and incessantly. With each second it went on, Carrot Top found her anger and determination wavering. Finally she could take no more. Setting down the bunny, she softly patted him on the head and held out a carrot. Eyes shining with gratitude, Angel took it and, giving a thankful and respectful bow, scampered away.

<><><><><><>

Back at Fluttershy’s cottage, Angel had tried to take a bite of his meal and wound up with aching chompers and still hungry. Confused, he’d tried a few more times but the thing was solid. It even made a knocking sound when he tapped it against the ground. He held it out to Fluttershy for help. After a brief examination, Fluttershy had managed to pop the lid and found the piece of paper inside.

<><><><><><>

As Angel was getting the The Stare of a lifetime from the bill for a week’s worth of carrots, Carrot Top and Derpy Hooves were hoofbumping and snickering.

<><><><><><>

You're Not Respected? Then They're Rejected!

You’re Not Respected? Then They’re Rejected!

Mayor Mare looked up as her assistant, Day Planner, knocked and stuck his head around the office door.

“Madam Mayor? The candidates for the opening are here. Shall I send in the first one?”

“Please do, Day Planner, thank you.” He nodded and his head vanished from around the door. Steeling herself for the trials ahead, the Mayor of Ponyville arranged her face into a picture of welcoming pleasantry.

It’s gonna be a long day.

<><><><><><>

“Sooo, what do you think is needed for good public relations between the Mayor’s office and the Ponyville citizens?” This was the standard opening question and there were a variety of right answers. The responses she got were………less so.

“You have to keep the people in good spirits.” A stone-grey Earth pony deadpanned.

“Show that their issues are important to you.” A Pegasus yawned, slouching in his seat.

“It’s, like, important to, y’know, commu-…commini-…consummate…talk good and junk, or whatever.” A Unicorn managed between blowing gum bubbles with her horn.

“Free candy is always good!”

“Pinkie Pie, get out of here!”

<><><><><><>

The final applicant sat waiting patiently, fingers laced together, when the door to the Mayor’s office slammed open and a barely-adult colt flew out, upside down, and slammed into the opposite wall. He dragged himself painfully to his feet and, straightening his backwards cap and gold chains, sent an annoyed look towards the pissed-off mare stalking towards him.

“’Ey girl, what’s yo’ deal? I give you the offer of a lifetime, rollin’ wit da main stallion here, and you throw me through a do-uhk!!” His last word was cut short as he found himself pinned to the wall a foot of the ground. Mayor Mare, her face red from embarrassment and anger, spoke quietly and softly.

“If you ever make those obscene gestures in my presence again, no, if you ARE in my presence again, I will personally feed you those chains and the hat for dessert, and THEN I’ll go to work on you. Do you understand me?” Eyes wide with terror, the overmatched colt managed a nod. Mayor Mare let him down then turned her gaze towards Day Planner, who had the good sense not to be looking at her, and the final applicant, who was staring open-mouthed.

“Ah, you must be a new Security guard, kindly escort the applicant here out of the building, we will not be hiring him.” It didn’t even occur to him not to obey, he grabbed the colt by the scruff of the neck and dragged him away, returning a few minutes later, where Day Planner offered him a cool drink.

“Please be patient, she’ll be with you in a moment.”

<><><><><><>

Significantly calmer, and back to her usual brown colour, Mayor Mare was surprised when the final applicant walked in.

“Is something the matter? Did Casanova cause any more trouble?” She sighed,

“Am I gonna have to get a restraining order?” Again. Smiling, he raised his arms.

“No ma’am, nothing like that. Iron Will is just here to apply as your Public Relations Officer.”

“Oh,” Mayor Mare replied, taken aback. Quickly she began to fidget,

“Uh……all that commotion in the hallway…” Iron Will quickly gave her a thumbs-up.

“Iron Will was moved by your vigour, ma’am, Iron Will would be honoured to work with a pony who knows how to throw other ponies’ weight around!”

“But you’re a well-known motivational speaker, why do you want to work here?”

“Well, ma’am, Iron Will’s tour has ended and won’t begin again for months. While Iron Will could easily live off the royalties until that time, Iron Will has found himself feeling bored and needing to pass the time. This seemed like an ideal experience for Iron Will to continue Iron Will’s work in another theatre. Iron Will won’t lie to you, ma’am, Iron Will loves his making ponies tougher and better but Iron Will also recognises that Iron Will could be more political. Iron Will sees this as a good starting point, a chance to learn from an exceptional teacher as it were.” Mayor Mare found herself flattered. She quickly took stock of the situation.

He certainly has an impressive resume.

He refers to himself as Iron Will a lot.

His name alone brings a crowd.

He knows about what happened in the corridor.

He’s very charismatic.

He doesn’t have much political prowess.

“Iron Will can see that you’re conflicted about Iron Will’s application. Iron Will will make you the same guarantee he makes for all his seminars: If you aren’t 100% satisfied, Iron Will’s service is totally free!”

Sold!

<><><><><><>

The next day, Iron Will accompanied the Mayor to a meeting with the senior staff at the hospital. No sooner had they entered the meeting room when Iron Will was mobbed by staff members.

“Iron Will, Iron Will, can I get an autograph?” Used to the attention, he smiled and held his hands in front of him, indicating the Mayor standing off to the side.

“Iron Will is very touched by your praise, however Iron Will is here on official business as a member of the Mayor’s staff today, it wouldn’t be right to involve personal business on the Mayor’s time.”

“Aww, please? Just one autograph?” The doctor immediately found himself lifted off the floor and at eye level with Iron Will, who did not look happy.

“Did Iron Will not make himself clear? Iron Will is not involved today. The Mayor is the important one at this meeting. YOU IGNORE THE BOSS, IT’LL BE YOUR LOSS!!!” He roared, the doctors immediately rushing to the table to begin the meeting, all eyes on Mayor Mare.

Well, that didn’t take long, she thought,

this may work out after all.

<><><><><><>

As they were leaving the hospital, Iron Will leaned in close to the Mayor.

“Iron Will just wanted to say how impressive you were in there, ma’am. Iron Will especially liked how you stayed firm when that one doctor began pushing about the budget.” Grimacing, the Mayor nodded.

“Yes, he was persistent wasn’t he? Unfortunately we just don’t have the spare capital to fund such a project as he was talking about right now. We’ll likely need a few years before we’re in a position to do so. I tried to make that clear to him.”

“And you succeeded, ma’am. Iron Will believes you are most definitely the right mare for this job. Your choices are what are best for Ponyville. Why else would the citizens have elected you?” While she was trying to stay humble, Mayor Mare couldn’t help but smile, enjoying the praise.

“I……suppose that’s true. I hadn’t really looked at it like that before. I just tried to do my best.”

“Iron Will’s gonna give you his best too, ma’am, for Ponyville. Iron Will trusts your choices wholeheartedly!”

<><><><><><>

When they returned to the town hall, Mayor Mare asked for her messages. Iron Will went to make some coffee while she looked over the points from the hospital meeting and waited.

After 10 minutes had passed, Mayor Mare was getting annoyed. Getting up from her desk, she went out to the reception area to find out what the delay was. A familiar scene awaited her. The front-desk twins, Inbox and Outtray, were arguing again. Something about the minutiae of some obscure corner of the filing system.

“Inbox, Outtray, could I-“ Before she could finish, the colt, Outtray, cut her off.

“Just a moment, madam Mayor,” he turned back to his sister,

“How can you say that the Whoazambique Accord should be filed under Neutral, the whole point…” he continued to bicker with his sister. Normally, Mayor Mare wouldn’t mind as they still worked extremely fast and there was always time in the day to finish, however she wasn’t in the mood to wait today and she CERTAINLY wasn’t going to be brushed off like that by a subordinate. Trying to channel Iron Will’s direct method, she stomped forward and repeatedly slammed her hoof down onto the bell. The twins fell silent, looking at her in shock.

“I asked for my messages 10 minutes ago. Deliver them to my office promptly in the future, or else I’d think you were distracting each other and I’d have to reassign one of you.” The twins went white. They spent all their time together. They literally didn’t know how to function without each other. It’d been that way since they were born. There was no more severe threat to them.

As Mayor Mare walked back to her office, she began to have regrets.

Perhaps I was a little hard on them. I’ll apologise at the end of the day. However, as she sat down at her desk, she saw that, even though she’d taken the most direct route back to her office, her messages were already there waiting for her.

As Iron Will walked in with the coffees, he was greeted with a triumphant smile on his boss’ face.

<><><><><><>

“Iron Will has arranged it so that today’s meetings will take place in a public forum, so that the citizens can better understand how your work is best for Ponyville.” The minotaur was wearing his headset and seemed to be receiving three reports every second but still kept pace with her and maintained conversation.

“I think that’s a great idea. Get some publicity on the administration of the town, we appear confident and more approachable at the same time.”

“Aptly put, ma’am. Iron Will is truly in the presence of a master.”

“Let’s go make the town better, shall we?”

“Iron Will is right behind you, ma’am.”

<><><><><><>

It was a busy day. Issues were being raised from all sides.

“We still need help at the hospital. We’re short-hooved!” Nurse Redheart attempted to make her case. The Mayor had heard it all before but felt it should be addressed publicly.

“We are aware of the problem but the town’s budget is stretched thin as it is. We already employ any trained medical ponies at our facilities, we’d have to pay through the nose to draw in doctors and nurses from the surrounding districts, which is simply too pricey. If you feel that we need to ease the strain on our staff then I see no problem in allowing volunteers to assist with minor duties so our trained staff can handle the more intensive injuries and illnesses. It’s common knowledge that Pinkie Pie and others would love to gush over the new-borns in the maternity wards.”

“You bet I would!” Came a cry from near the back. Mayor Mare moved onto the next issue.

“The market is too crowded when it’s busy!” Several ponies voiced their agreement with this.

“We’ll move the market to the open space around Carousel Boutique. That will alleviate the crush and increase hoof traffic in our other stores.”

“New customers! Delightful!” A refined voice piped up.

“The town’s dropping the ball environmentally!” A scientist pony yelled out.

“Then the town will institute a mandatory recycling policy. All non-foods should be recycled if possible.” Mayor Mare answered a few more questions then called an end to the address. Iron Will had her meet with the reporters to discuss the new, hard-line government in effect in Ponyville.

“Mayor Mare, everypony! SHOW HER NO DOUBT, SHE’LL HELP YOU OUT!”

<><><><><><>

The other ponies left the gathering in good spirits and happy with their decisive Mayor. Thanks to her decisions, the town enjoyed a brief period of high efficiency.

<><><><><><>

It lasted all of three days. Walking into her office on the fourth day, she was greeted with a flurry of activity.

“What’s going on?” She demanded. Day Planner stopped writing long enough to speak, he didn’t look up though.

“We’ve got problems all over town! Ponies are turning on each other left and right!” Concerned, she headed to her office, she was briefly stopped by Inbox, who shoved a bunch of messages into her hooves tersely then re-joined her brother in trying to keep track of everything. She read the messages on the way.

The volunteers are causing more problems than the patients! We’re losing a small fortune in broken equipment and there’s too many ponies getting in the way and wasting our time with questions! - Redheart

The extra ponies around are kicking up dust and ruining my fabrics, not to mention those who stake out the best spots are gouging prices! – Rarity

I’m losing 2 out of every 3 books I lend out to ‘recycling’ and other ponies are reporting similar problems – Twilight Sparkle

Iron Will walked in just as she settled herself at her desk.

“Iron Will is here to help, ma’am, which ponies do you want me to talk to first, to let them know you are on it?”

“Not now, Iron Will, I need to get on top of this paperwork.”

“Paperwork?” He was incredulous,

“Paperwork can be saved for later, you need to be SEEN right now, keeping the ship right.”

“A ship with a captain at the wheel will still sink if it’s full of holes, Iron Will.”

“The Ponyville citizens will be lost without you around!”

“That’s enough!” She glanced up at him in anger,

“You don’t give them enough credit. They don’t need me to hold their hand through everything, you know. A Mayor is not a mother, I don’t decide everything for them. I govern them, put them in a situation where they can thrive themselves.”

I’d forgotten that in all the hype and flash of his words. Putting her hooves together, she looked at him over the top of her glasses.

“Iron Will?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I’m NOT 100% satisfied.”

“What do you mean you’re not satisfied? You were loving it, Iron Will could see it in your face!” She nodded at his words but did not smile.

“You’re right. I did love it. I thought I was being, as you so brashly put it, ‘the boss’, making the decisions and improving everything. I wasn’t though, I was just being pushy in my own way and ponies were too intimidated or charmed to disagree with me.”

“So it’s a bad thing to have everypony on board?”

“No, not necessarily. However, they still need to be on board a stable vessel. This was not a stable vessel, it just had pretty sails.”

“Madam Mayor, Iron Will would like you to reconsider…”

“I know you would, Iron Will, but your style is best suited for, how did you put it, ‘another theatre’?” The minotaur stared gruffly at her for a few moments, looking like he intended to continue the argument, until finally he deflated.

“Very well, Madam Mayor, Iron Will won’t make any more decisions. Iron Will is, however, still under contract with you. Tell Iron Will what you need and Iron Will will get to it.” She gave him a grateful smile.

“Thank you, Iron Will. Go talk to Day Planner, see what he needs help with. I must deal with this paperwork.”

Bowing, the minotaur left her office.

<><><><><><>

Several hours later, an end was in sight. The Mayor called Day Planner into her office.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“See that Iron Will is paid for his time. It’s not his fault things went this way. On that topic, we’ll need some damage control on the publicity front, so please send a message to Pinkie Pie, telling her that I’d like to see her at once…”

She thought for a moment,

“…and put out a bowl of candy.”

<><><><><><>

Author’s note: Poor Iron Will, he just wants to help.

The Beat And The Pulse

The Beat and The Pulse

“OH YEAH!” The cue shot forward, launching the white into the final spot, which careened off two stripes and glided dead-centre into the corner pocket. The smile on the Earth Mare’s face was triumphant. She hoof-bumped her Pegasus partner before turning towards their opponents.

“We win.” Ace’s face was a picture of annoyance and disappointment but Roseluck just shrugged and kept on smiling.

“So you did. This time. A bet’s a bet. Next round’s on us. We just couldn’t outpace The Pulse.” She put her hoof around Ace’s arm.

“Come on, Stallion of Stallions, let’s go buy the winners a drink.” Ace, however, lingered a moment.

“Next time…” he grumbled, before he calmed himself,

“Well played ladies, you showed much spirit.” Then he joined Rose at the bar. The victors, Redheart and Silverspeed, just rolled their eyes at Ace’s rhetoric. Silverspeed nodded towards a booth in the corner.

“Come on, Red, let’s take a break. Give somepony else a chance to win.” Redheart, who’d been scanning the crowd for their next challengers, groaned and reluctantly nodded.

“Yeah, okay. Lead the way, Silver.”

<><><><><><>

At a table on the mezzanine, two Unicorns and an Earth pony had been watching the entire game. One, a mint-green Unicorn scowled and piped up:

“The Pulse. Please. Those two get luckier than Fluttershy with a scorpion. They only ever play the games they want to play. If they wanted to try to beat me in music they’d lose hands-down.”

“Whats-down? Ugh, never mind,” the grey Earth Mare continued,

“You know they always play as a team, if one’s in the other’s in too. You’d need a partner. Fortunately I agree with your assessment. It would be nice to round out the night by putting them in their place.” The third pony in their trio, who’d been silently lying on her back while her smile grew wider and wider at her friends’ words, sat up suddenly. Ignoring, or perhaps enjoying, the head rush, she nudged them both:

“So go challenge them, Tavi. You too, Ra-Ra.” Both of her friends huffed and spoke at the same time.

“Do you have to call me that, Vinyl?” Vinyl Scratch, resident record-spinner kept her manic grin.

“Yes, now come on, you two. Let’s show them that The Pulse doesn’t rule here, the club only moves to the beat!”

<><><><><><>

Redheart and Silverspeed were enjoying the new drinks (free, their favourite flavour!) when the three musician ponies approached. Redheart greeted them warmly.

“Hey girls. Need a place to sit? We can scooch up.” Siverspeed grinned in agreement and began moving along the cushion but Octavia waved her off.

“That’s very kind, my dears, however it’s not Redheart and Silverspeed we have business with, it’s The Pulse.” At the cellist’s words, an edge crept into the eyes of the two friends.

“Is that so?” Drawled Silverspeed,

“You have our attention.” Her partner was leaning forward, drinks momentarily forgotten. Lyra pushed past Octavia and Vinyl and pointed a hoof at the two.

“We challenge The Pulse to a contest!”

“What kind of contest?” Vinyl Scratch fielded this one.

“What else? A dance-off! Naturally we’ll provide the music. Think you got what it takes to step into OUR world?” The three musicians bore confident smirks but it didn’t seem to shake the nerve of the Earth Mare and Pegasus. They simply looked at each other, grinned excitedly, and nodded.

“We’re in.”

<><><><><><>

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! ALL YOU PONY PEEPS OUT THERE BETTER LISTEN UP!” Daisy, acting as announcer for the event, shouted into her mic to get the entire bar’s attention,

“We’ve got a fresh challenge to The Pulse! Can the unbeaten pair keep their record going when they face off against Ponyville’s finest on their home turf? Taking on the defending duo tonight is a threesome of music maestros; Lyra, Octavia AND our old friend, DJ PON-3!!!” The crowd stamped and whooped as the challengers raised a hoof casually. Daisy waited for the noise to die down before continuing.

“That’s what we want to hear folks! Lots of noise, lots of excitement, let’s make this one for the ages! Let me clue you in on how this is going to go down. The Pulse is gonna step into the world of sound, a dance-off with the challengers providing the soundtrack themselves! The odds are stacked against our current champs but you know they do what they do when they do what they do! They won’t throw in the towel, they’ll push through to the very end!” There was no question the crowd was into it. They cheered long and loud.

“Go music mares!” Ace bellowed, still smarting from the earlier loss.

“Woo, Daisy!” Cheered a slightly-tipsy Rose.

“You got this, Silverspeed!” Cloudkicker stuck up for her fellow Pegasus.

“Send ‘em to the Emergency Room, Nurse!” One of the hospital orderlies shouted encouragement to his colleague.

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!” Daisy repeated, silencing the crowd,

“Let’s get started then shall we? It’s gonna be a best of three contest. The first two rounds are one-on-one with the final round being a pair battle! We wanted to keep the best for last, you know as well as I do that The Pulse work best together but first they gotta make it through the single rounds!” She addressed the crowd again,

“What do you think, Ponyville? Have they got what it takes?” She held the mic out to the crowd, who went wild.

<><><><><><>

“Our first round features Silverspeed taking on Octavia, DJ PON-3 will be providing the music. Swiftness and sophistication! Speed and style! Who will win?” The dance floor was empty bar the two combatants. The three musicians had set up their gear on one edge, with Scratch now preparing.

“You ready, Silverspeed?”

“Naturally, Octavia. I’m just waiting on the bell.” Satisfied, the two looked to Daisy, who nodded towards DJ PON-3. Her horn glowing, the Unicorn laid a record down on the turntables.

After a second or two, a thumping beat blared from the speakers.

“GO!!!!!!” Roared Daisy, who was then drowned out by the crowd.

Not wasting any time, Silverspeed danced forward, timing her jerks with the beat, furling and unfurling her wings to the music before pointing them at Octavia in a challenging manner. Not to be outdone, Octavia countered with a flowing step that used the beat as a single repeated rhythm rather than a series of jumps. She finished with a graceful spin that had her pointing back at Silver. The Pegasus countered as the beat picked up, using her wings as extra appendages to flip her whole body over and over. She finished in a standing position, wings outstretched, looking smoulderingly over her shoulder at Octavia, who began to incorporate more classical mannerisms into her movements which only sort of fit the beat, however it was obvious she was reaching. She finished on a high note with a beautiful flourish when the song ended.

“Wow! That was impressive. I wouldn’t dare decide this by myself, so I’m going to hand it over to you guys! Make some noise if you think Octavia was better!” A sizeable portion of the crowd opened up for this. Daisy checked the decibel level briefly before continuing,

“Now show your support if you think Silverspeed won!” It hadn’t seemed so uneven at first, but the bars jumped twice as high this time as the majority made their decision.

“Well I think that settles it. The first round goes to Silverspeed and The Pulse!” Daisy held up Silverspeed’s hoof as Octavia slinked back to her two teammates.

“Sorry you two, I thought I had her for a second there.” They waved her off.

“Don’t worry Octavia. I’m up next, I’ll take Redheart no problem.”

“Yeah, Tavi, Ra-Ra’s got your back.”

<><><><><><>

“Well that was a wild first round, folks, and it isn’t going to slow down any time soon! Up next we’ve got a real Heart-to-Heart. Will the nurse see red or will the Unicorn have her strings cut? It’s the second round folks, with our first rounder, Octavia, providing the score!”

This round was won from the start. Octavia started up a flowing operatic tune and Redheart couldn’t find her rhythm. Lyra, on the other hand, was making graceful leaps and twirls, easily keeping with the piece. This time the crowd was unanimously in favour of the musicians, with both teams taking a moment to prepare for the pair stage.

“Gah!” Redheart stomped her hoof in annoyance,

“Can’t believe I lost so badly.” Silverspeed didn’t immediately respond, instead she grabbed Redheart’s face in both hooves and gently shook the nurse’s head.

“It’s fine, it just wasn’t your song. You know we’ll take ‘em in the doubles contest. Have we ever lost when we work together?”

“Heh, yeah, I guess you’re right.” She managed a smile. Silverspeed always made her feel better. Across the dance floor, their opponents were also debating the final round.

“Who’s doing the music this time?”

“Me me me! I haven’t had a chance yet.”

“…….Okay. Lyra does the music, guess it’s you and me, Vinyl.”

“I won’t let you down, Tavi. Be sure to give us something we can really move to, Ra-Ra.”

“I’d rather have something that’ll let us win.” The two Unicorns stared at her.

“What?”

“Do you have to take it so seriously? I know you lost but come on, admit this is fun.”

“……….’s fun.” Grinning at each other, Scratch and Lyra leaned in closer.

“What? Didn’t catch that, Tavi.” The Earth mare glared daggers at the two before relenting and surrendering a smile.

“Fine, I’m having fun. Even if I lost.”

“Hah! I knew it. Come on, I’m not dancing with a misery-guts. Will you smile if I let you lead?”

<><><><><><>

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT FOLKS!” Daisy was literally bouncing.

“Before the last round, let’s give it up for all five of our brave contestants for giving us such a great show! GIVE ‘EM SOME LOVE!”

Several minutes later, when the cheering had died down, Daisy finally managed to get a word in again.

“Okay! We’re in the last round. Its 1 point apiece right now, so this is for all the marbles! Will The Pulse stay steady or will our three challengers put a shock in the system? Let’s find out! Can our pairs step onto the floor please?”

The crowd parted to let them through. Redheart and Silverspeed entered first, standing shoulder-to-shoulder. Smiling broadly, Vinyl Scratch led Octavia back onto the floor, the two standing across from their opponents. Scratch nudged Octavia, who nodded and extended a hoof. All four ponies were grinning wildly as they shook hooves and got into their starting positions. Each team nodded their readiness at Daisy, who motioned for Lyra to start playing. In that second before her hoof touched a string, there was no sound. The crowd didn’t dare interrupt and every breath was held.

Most everypony there was expecting a soft, sweet sound to play. That’s why they were very surprised when Lyra began belting out a quick, power-chord-filled ballad on her lyre, somehow making the soft bells into fuller, meatier sounds. The pace was quick but elegant and each team took a few seconds to adjust. Soon enough the pairs began moving.

Octavia and Vinyl faced each other, staying close and mirroring their actions. They kept pace well with the music and soon had their fans smiling.

On the other side Redheart had been lost at the start, but Silverspeed had taken the lead, wrapping her arms around her from behind and, working together, they began swaying to the music.

As the tempo increased, Vinyl used her magic to give form to the music, green-and-gold wisps swirled around them all. That scored her team some major points……

……until Redheart capitalised on it by taking the lead and sending Silverspeed spinning with the music, wings twirled around her like a dress. That drew some “Ooh!”s from the crowd.

Scratch, taking the lead from Octavia, soon had the two body-popping to the music, their moving limbs flicking the wisps around, causing a fantastic light show.

Octavia and Silverspeed, following their partners, did their best, keeping their moves graceful and flowing. At one point they ended up back-to-back and it almost looked like they were dancing with each other. The gathered pony throng loved it.

Redheart brought things to a close though, sensing that they were falling behind to the natural rhythms of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, she snatched the mic from Daisy’s hand as she passed, dipping it into the miasma as she danced, she twirled it over and over, forming a bouquet of shifting light which, as Lyra struck the final note, she presented to Silverspeed on one knee. The stunned crowd was silent. Silverspeed, smiling back, blew gently onto the gift, sending the ‘petals’ gliding up into the sky.

The crowd went insane.

<><><><><><>

“Well well well. I don’t think we’ll see anything like that for a while now, will we Ponyville?” Daisy had retrieved her mic.

“Much as we’d like everypony involved to get their due. We must have a winner. So we need your voices, ponies! Give it up for The Pulse!”

Everypony, every single one of them, cheered. Daisy blinked in surprise, then rallied.

“Rrrrright then. How about our challengers, the musician trio?”

Everypony, every single one of them, cheered. Daisy sighed, not at all surprised this time.

“Well then, it’s gonna have to be a show of hooves. Put ‘em up there if you think The Pulse should win.”

This time the crowd got serious. Roughly half of the crowd raised ‘em. The other half raised ‘em for the musicians. Daisy was intensely pleased after the count.

“It’s a dead heat folks! Unbelievable!”

“Not quite there, Daisy.” Everypony looked at the speaker, who continued.

“Much as we’d like a draw, The Pulse came into our house and gave us everything we could handle. That’s worth something to us. So Ra-Ra, Tavi and me’re throwing our votes behind Red and Silver there. They earned it.”

“AND because there're three of us they can’t win even if they give us their votes.” Octavia chipped in,

“So there! Nyeh!” Finished Lyra, sticking out her tongue playfully.

<><><><><><>

Author’s note: I have no aptitude or knowledge of music so I have no idea whether this is good or mind-gratingly rage-worthy for musicians. Sorry XP.

Sweet Lava Acres

Sweet Lava Acres

Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash strolled up the ramp to the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse, where the sound of giggling could be heard. When they pushed the door open, a strange sight greeted them.

“Good heavens!”

“Cool!”

“Whut are y’all three doin’?” From the ceiling, the three upside-down fillies grinned up, er…down at them.

“Pinkie Pie let us use her suction cups!” Chortled Scootaloo.

“It’s really fun.” Chimed Sweetie Belle.

“Ev’rythin’ looks so weird upside down!” Applebloom remarked, walking backwards with a loud Pop! accompanying each step.

“Well,” Rarity began haughtily,

“However ‘fun’ that is, Sweetie Belle, I’m afraid it’s time to go home now. Come along.”

“You too, Applebloom, ya got chores fer Granny Smith.”

“Awwww.” Two voices from the ceiling chorused. Soon each filly was right-side-up again and trying to shake off their dizziness. Rainbow Dash put her wing around Scootaloo.

“C’mon pipsqueak, I’ll walk you home.” The orange Pegasus’ eyes lit up.

“You mean it?”

“Sure, IF you can keep up.” She trotted in place. Quick as a flash, Scootaloo’s helmet was on and her scooter was out.

“I won’t slow you down, honest!”

Grinning from ear to ear, the two Pegasus’ went on their way, shortly followed by the Unicorn sisters as the Apples went back to the house.

<><><><><><>

“Ah thought it’d be a good few years before ah’d be looking up at mah baby sister, that’s fer sure.” The three older ponies were sat around Rarity’s lounge at Carousel Boutique.

“I dunno, I thought it was kinda cool, even us Pegasus’ can’t stay upside down like that for long.” Rainbow craned her neck to look upside down while speaking but was shaking the light-headedness away before long.

“I had a devil of a time getting Sweetie Belle’s fur clean again after all that ‘fun’. The Cutie Mark Crusaders obviously don’t clean their clubhouse often enough.”

“Ah’m just glad none of them came unstuck. That’d be a might more painful than playing The Floor Is Lava, although them suckers would make it too easy to win.” Applejack noticed her friends looking at her strangely.

“What?”

“Applejack, you played in lava as a foal? Are you mad?” Rarity was surreptitiously checking her friend for burn scars.

“Yeah, AJ, that seems a little dangerous even for a rough pony like you.”

“Ah never played in l-“ A thought struck Applejack,

“Wait. You two never played The Floor Is Lava?”

“Nope.”

“Heavens no.”

“Well ah can kinda see that with you Rainbow, bein’ a Pegasus an’ all, but ah cain’t believe you never played, Rarity.”

“Are you saying it’s a game? You weren’t actually playing with lava?”

“Of course not. It’s just a game. It’s pretend. You act as though the floor is made of lava and you’ll ‘die’ if you touch it. You move around without touching the floor. Last one who keeps off the floor wins the game.”

“That sounds great! Why wouldn’t I like it?” Challenged Rainbow. Applejack looked pointedly at her wings.

“You’ve got a li’l but of an advantage there, RD.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, I guess that would make it little easy, huh? I still kinda wanna play though, see what I was missing.”

“Well, why not? Ah can rope off a section of the orchard and set up some junk inside to use as stepping stones. It’ll be fun.” Applejack was always up for a competition and she hadn’t played in years, it’d be a good way to spend an afternoon.

“Um, Rainbow dear, what about your wings?” Rarity was both sceptical and intrigued at the same time.

“Well, I suppose Applejack could tie them up again like with the Running of the Leaves.”

“Well that’ll be a backup plan, why don’t we go see Twilight later and see if she’s got any magic that could help us?”

“We should ask her to play too! Do you really think Twilight Sparkle, apprentice to the Princess, egghead extraordinaire, has played either?” Rarity and Applejack looked at each other and answered as one.

“Not a chance.”

<><><><><><>

The next day, Rarity and Rainbow Dash arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack and Twilight met them at the cordoned-off arena.

“Hi girls, looking forward to today?”

“Aw yeah I am, Twilight. I don’t even care if I can’t use my wings, I’m winning this thing.” Rainbow was doing backflips in her excitement.

“Rainbow Dash, please control yourself!” Rarity admonishment was half-hearted at best,

“At least until the game starts.” Rainbow stopped spinning long enough to look around.

“Well, I don’t see any rope. Does that mean I get to use my wings after all?” Applejack and Twilight shared a knowing look.

“Sure, RD, hop over the fence and give the arena an eagle-eye once-over.” Rainbow mock saluted.

“Can do, boss.” Twilight and Applejack snickered at this.

“Oh, I’m not so sure about that.” Twilight remarked ‘innocently’. Rarity looked at her quizzically but Rainbow Dash was already on her way. Hopping over the boundary, she spread her wings, crouched down for a second to find her balance, then shot straight up…

…one foot in the air.

“Huh?” Rainbow looked around and flailed briefly before crashing back to the ground, splashing mud around. Spitting out some sludge, Rainbow tried again but to no effect. Alarmed, she looked over at her friends, who were trying hard not to laugh.

“What’s going on here? Why can’t I fly?” Twilight quickly got a hold of herself and turned to Rarity.

“Could you help her clean up please, Rarity?”

“Of course, Twilight.” Rarity trotted over and daintily stepped over the boundary, taking care to keep as little mud on her hooves as possible. The cloth she’d been levitating with her magic suddenly dropped over her eyes.

“Oh dear. Well that’s not right.” Her horn glowed blue momentarily before sputtering out. The cloth hadn’t moved. She tried one more time but not even a glow appeared this time. Dragging the cloth off her face, she glared at Applejack and Twilight, who were rolling on the floor.

“Twilight! Applejack! Explain yourselves this instant!”

“Yeah! This isn’t funny!” Wiping a tear from her eye, Applejack waved down their complaints.

“Ah dunno about that one, Rainbow. ‘s pretty funny from over here. Ah’ll let Twilight explain it. It’s her spell after all.” The two affected ponies turned their ire to the purple Unicorn.

“It’s a null-zone spell. Pegasus and Unicorn abilities are nullified while they’re standing inside. It was thought up by a Unicorn who was born from an Earth pony family, so that he could fit in at home. When Applejack told me what you said yesterday, I set it up. This way everypony can compete fairly WITHOUT ropes.” Rainbow didn’t look satisfied.

“This isn’t permanent is it?”

“No no, it’s just while you’re standing in the arena. The moment you step back over the outer rim you’ll be as a fast a flier as usual.”

“Well….I guess that’s fine then. So long as I’m not permanently grounded.”

“That is relieving. So then, Twilight, will you be joining our game?” She shook her head at Rarity’s question.

“Not this time, I’ll be maintaining the zone. Besides, Applejack tells me we’re full up as it is.” Rainbow and Rarity looked at Applejack, who shrugged.

“Word got around, plenty of ponies wanted in. They should be here soon. We’ve got at least a couple dozen.”

“A couple dozen? Great, more victims for me to beat then.”

“Oh is that so, Rainbow Dash? You’ll have to beat me first.”

“You’re on, Rarity!”

<><><><><><>

True to her word, many more ponies filtered in over the next hour. Twilight and Applejack assigned them to starting points around the edge of the arena, so nopony started in the same place as another. However before they sent them off, all the participants were gathered together. Applejack got up on a fence to address them.

“Well thank y’all for comin’ to this here event. Ah’ll jus’ go over the rules real quick. Everypony starts in their own spot and from that point until the end, they cain’t touch the ground or they’re disqualified. Now o’ course we couldn’t get real lava for the floor,” this drew a few chuckles,

“but we did get some kind weather ponies to soak the field last night, so the ground’s plenty muddy, makes for a soft landing if’n you fall or get knocked down. Speakin’ o’ which, most anythin’ goes here in terms of knockin’ your competition out, jes’ don’t be goin’ for the eyes or teeth or anything that cain’t be fixed if it breaks. You’re all sensible ponies, don’t go lookin’ to hurt each other. Be careful though, ‘cause it ain’t just your fella combatants who you gotta be worryin’ about. If’n you take a gander over at Cheerilee, you’ll see that we got us a whole mess of ‘lava sharks’ to watch out for,” the ponies saw the teacher pony leading the school fillies and colts, all sporting a red fin strapped to their back and maniacal grins, into the arena.

“These sharks are armed with beanbags and they’ll be doing their darnedest to knock each and every one o’ you into the ‘lava’, just for a bit of added fun.” The sound of giggling came from where the sharks had gone. Filtered through the trees, it sounded almost demonic.

“ALRIGHT!” Applejack raised her hoof,

“All players get to your startin’ points. Go when you hear the horn.” The gathered ponies scattered, rushing to their assigned spots.

<><><><><><>

The sound of the horn fading behind her, Rainbow Dash was up and moving through the trees, swinging on vines and hopping from obstacle to obstacle.

Applejack was right, this is pretty awesome.

Suddenly she heard some twigs cracking. Alarmed and in the open, she hurriedly backtracked into the trees, hiding as a trio of lava sharks skipped past repeating “duhnuhduhnuhduhnuh”.

“Phew,” she whispered,

“Close one.”

“Closer than you think.” Came a voice in her ear.

“GYAAHH!” She shot forward, forgetting she couldn’t fly and only just managing to get a hoof around a branch to stop from plummeting to the ground. Scrambling back onto more secure footing, she searched for the sneak. She didn’t need to look far. On the same branch as she was, leaning against the tree trunk, was Thunderlane.

“You’re playing too, Thunderlane?”

“Yep. I’ve been tailing you for a little while, not easy with the pace you set, and I decided that I might as well thin the herd a little.” Casually lifting himself off the trunk, he struck a fighting stance.

“Hoowaaaah!” Grinning, both at the challenge and at how ridiculously he looked and sounded, she put up her dukes too.

“Keeyaaaah!”

A stray leaf detached from a higher branch, drifting down.

It landed feather-light on their branch.

They charged.

<><><><><><>

Not such a natural in the trees, Rarity was struggling. She’d already been nearly knocked into the ‘lava’ more times than she could count, managing at the last second to keep her balance, or slip away, or (one time) grab a nearby vine and swing clear, which she didn’t have any intention of repeating if she could help it. Not that winning the game was all that important to her, just……..all that mud. Eurgh! She’d be cleaning her coat for weeks to regain her dazzling white. She simply couldn’t let that happen, it was not the done thing. Of course, being related to one of the ‘sharks’ did make things more challenging.

“Thweetie Belle thaid the thought the heard Rarity go thith way. Come on!” Sweetie Belle’s classmates Twist, Featherweight and Truffle Shuffle motored past in search of their prey.

Ooh when I get down from here you are gonna be in soo much trouble, Sweetie Belle. Turning the pack on your sister like this, how could you?

She heard the three hunters coming back so she quickly changed direction, gingerly crossing to another tree over the entwined branches.

<><><><><><>

“What do we do, man? They’re all over the show! It’s too trippy.” Superfly glanced at his temporary ally, Clownshoes, for help. The brightly decorated pony merely honked a horn sadly.

They both froze as the laughter started. Carried on the wind, it seemed to come from everywhere. They looked around, terrified.

Duhnuh.

“Did you hear that?” Another honk.

Duhnuh.

“They’re coming! They musta sniffed us out, they know we’re here!”

Duhnuhduhnuh. Clownshoes thought he spotted something moving in the trees, shadows with white teeth and glowing eyes.

Duhnuhduhnuhduhnuh. Superfly heard a rustling. He looked down at the bushes just in time to see a red fin break the foliage for a moment before sinking back down again. Sighing, he whipped out a comb and ran it through his hair.

“If I gotta go, I’m going out with style.” Two honks brought his attention back to his partner, who was holding out a cream pie. Taking it, he nodded and gave a grim smile.

“I got your back, Jack.”

DUHNUHDUHNUHDUHNUHDUHNUH!!!

They brought their arms back to throw as the shadows moved in.

<><><><><><>

As the ponies filtered out in ones and twos, escorted by shoals of lava sharks (who quickly dumped their captives and headed back in for more prey), Twilight checked their names off her list.

“It’s down to the last three, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack! Rarity and Rainbow Dash are doing very well for beginners.” Spike, who’d been handing out wash cloths, got a dreamy look on his face.

“I sure hope Rarity wins. She’s so pretty.”

Twilight rolled her eyes at this and double-checked the null field.

<><><><><><>

They stood in a triangle, trying to keep the other two in their sight. The final three ponies had simultaneously arrived on the roof of the Crusader clubhouse, a fitting location, having been where it all started.

“So,” Rarity intoned,

“It has come to this.”

“Looks that way.” Agreed Rainbow Dash.

“Our destiny, we cannot change it.” Applejack finished. There were no more words.

Each pony readied the beanbags they’d snagged from the pursuing sharks, who even now circled the clubhouse, hungry for their meal. There was no escape. It would be settled here, and now. The final three sharks arrived and the swarm prepared to attack. The three ponies would have one attack before being overwhelmed. The only question being, who would they strike?

Rarity’s eyes moved from Applejack’s to Rainbow’s, who’s moved from Rarity to Applejack, who found the gems at the end of the rainbow. As one they nodded. It was time.

Rainbow was a hair faster than the other two, shooting her bag out at Rarity, unbalancing her and leaving her teetering on the edge, satisfied, she charged forward, intent on sending the Unicorn over the edge.

Applejack’s three beanbags, shot from her hat like a slingshot, caught her in the temple, knee and ankle, making her miss her footing on the wet roof. Disbelief was plastered on Rainbow’s face as she tumbled over the side.

“OH PONYFEATHERSSSSSS!!!!”

A mud geyser erupted from where she fell, higher than the clubhouse.

Rarity didn’t move to wipe the drops from her face, trapped as she was on the edge, Applejacks’ grip on her horn being the only reason she was still on the roof. Eventually Rarity found her voice.

“So……what now?”

“You’ll see. Should be any time now.”

TAKE AIM! Came the cry from below. Applejack nodded.

“It’s time.” The hoof on the horn moved, coming to rest on Rarity’s own hoof. Applejack smiled at her and, with a violent wrench, dragged Rarity back onto the roof and took her place on the edge. Rarity lay sprawled on the roof, looking up at the Earth pony.

As the sharks let fly, Rarity’s unspoken question was obvious. Applejack just kept smiling.

“Ah didn’t want your first time out to end like that.”

The barrage hit. Applejack fell.

Hoof outstretched, Rarity could only watch.

<><><><><><>

Later, Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity and Twilight sat in the clubhouse with guilty expressions as Pinkie reamed them out.

“I can’t believe you guys set all this up and didn’t invite ME! Or Fluttershy! I thought we were friends. You know how much I love to play games! And another thing….

<><><><><><>

Author’s note: Superfly and Clownshoes are from the ‘Perfect Stallion’ song. I’m sure you can guess which ponies they are. As far as I know, they have no other fan names (if they do could somebody tell me what they are please?)

Haaave You Met Mac?

Haaave You Met Mac?

The Cross-Equestria Express pulled into the Ponyville station with a screech of its brakes. Ponies began filing out as the door opened. One Pegasus in particular strolled off the train and looked around, searching for the familiar face, or Cutie Mark, of the one who said he’d meet her there. Finally she spotted him, waving from near the stairs. She waved back and headed his way. The crowd thinned out as she reached his smiling face.

“Forget it.” He rolled his eyes good-naturedly at this.

“And hello to you too, cousin.” The smile never left his face.

“Hi, Caramel, good to see you. As I was saying: No.”

“No?” Caramel inquired a little too innocently,

“No what, Lucky Dreams?”

“Just no. Whatever you’re planning, no. I only have a week in Ponyville and I actually want to enjoy my cousin’s company, not get wrapped up in yet another of your crazy schemes.” Caramel held his hooves up in defence.

“Nothing like that, no crazy schemes this time, little cousin, just you and me spending time together, though Sassaflash wants to meet you too.”

“Ah, the ‘lucky’ mare,” Dreams joked,

“She’s a saint for putting up with you for so long.”

“Yep,” the two began walking towards the exit,

“I still say she’s a criminal and this is some form of community service.”

“What other reason could there possibly be?”

“Not a clue, little cousin, not a clue.”

<><><><><><>

“Ah, I needed that.” Lucky Dreams licked her lips after exiting the café.

“Yeah, that’s my favourite place to eat.”

“I can’t believe how cheap it was either, that sort of meal in Trottingham would triple the price.”

“What can I say? Ponyville takes care of its ponies.” Caramel let a little bit of town pride creep into his voice. Dreams, revived by the meal after the long trip, turned to her cousin.

“So, Caramel, what next? Got anything special planned for this evening?”

“Not really, I figured you’d be drained from the trip so I thought we’d just go to the pub and relax tonight.”

“I’m not gonna argue with that. First drink’s on you though.” Sighing, Caramel jingled his bit-pouch.

“Yeah, yeah, what else is new?”

<><><><><><>

They’d been in the pub for an hour, chatting and shooting the breeze, sipping on their ciders, when the two headed up to the bar for the next round. Caramel wore the same smile he wore on the train platform but his cousin, plied with cider, didn’t think much of it. Dreams got this round in and Caramel quickly grabbed his drink and pointed towards the door where a Pegasus mare had just walked in.

“There’s Sassaflash! I’ll go bring her over. In the meantime,” He grabbed the shoulder of the big red stallion sitting at the bar,

“Haaave you met Mac?” He was gone by the time Big Macintosh turned around.

“Huh? What? Was that Caramel?” Dreams was seething.

“Oh yes, that was my stupid cousin alright, who I will be visiting tremendous pain upon soon enough.” She took a deep breath and faced the farm stallion.

“Listen…Mac was it? I dunno what Caramel’s told you but-“ She was cut off.

“Aw hayseed, is he at this again? Sorry li’l lady but as Ah’ve told him a thousand times, Ah’m just not looking for a marefriend right now. Ah’m sorry that you’ve been roped into this.” Dreams took this in calmly before smiling a wicked smile.

“So he does this a lot, huh?”

“Eeyup. He’s been pushing me for months about it. Pers’nally Ah reckon it’s Miss Sassaflash wantin’ to double-date. Either way he just won’t let it go. Now he’s drawn you, sorry but Ah didn’t catch your name, into it as well.” She extended a hoof in response.

“My name’s Lucky Dreams. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna play along with him either,” she leaned in conspiratorially,

“Though that doesn’t mean we can’t play our own game.” Mac had a heck of a poker face, he betrayed nothing, just calmly sipped his drink.

“Ya got mah attention.” Encouraged, she took the available seat.

“Well, if Caramel wants this, I think we should give it to him. And give it to him. And give it to him. Every second that I’m here. We’ll cram it down his throat until he never dares to bring it up again.”

“And how do we do that?” She shrugged, not having thought that far ahead, but improvised.

“Well, not to brag, but I am his favourite ‘little cousin’ and I doubt he’d take kindly to me spending all my time with a boy, especially a big guy like yourself, even at night.” Quickly Mac put his drink down on the bar and sat back.

“Now listen, Ah ain’t that kinda stallion.” She waved her wings at him dismissively.

“I don’t mean for real. Just enough to convince him that something’s going on. It’ll drive him crazy. Shouldn’t be too hard either. I’ve always stayed awake longer than he has, I get up earlier too. All I’ve gotta do is stay out longer than he’s up and take a stroll in the morning so he gets up and I’m ‘still not home’. He’ll be twitching and sweating before the third day.” Mac tapped his chin, considering the idea, before nodding.

“Sounds good. One thing though, we ARE gonna tell him what’s really goin’ on at some point right? Ah mean he is my best buddy, even with all this.”

“Of course. He’s MY favourite cousin too. I just want to teach him a lesson not to try to pull this on me.” He nodded, satisfied.

“Aright. Ah’m in. Oh, make sure you get Miss Sassaflash in on it too. She’s a good girl and she’ll worry otherwise. Caramel spends more time with her than with anypony else, so if she sells it he’ll buy it hook, line an’ sinker.”

“Will do, I’m supposed to be having dinner with her tomorrow anyway. I’ll let her know then.” They exchanged grins and clinked their mugs together.

Meanwhile, in the corner booth, Caramel and Sassaflash were keeping a surreptitious eye on things.

“I knew it’d work! I just needed to find the right girl for Mac. The big lug’s too shy for his own good.” His marefriend sipped her drink and smiled serenely.

“I hope you’re right, dear. Sometimes playing cupid doesn’t work out like you think.”

<><><><><><>

“But you will tell him that you are joking before you leave won’t you?” Sassaflash asked with a stern expression. The two Pegasus fillies were out for dinner the following night.

“You know, Big Macintosh asked the same thing. Nice to know that there’re people who care about my cousin so much. Yes, of course we will tell him. It’s just that Mac is annoyed that Caramel keeps pushing him about getting a marefriend and I don’t appreciate being used like this. We want Caramel to learn that it’s not okay to act like this.” The demure Pegasus still looked unsure, but nodded and attempted a smile.

“Okay, I’ll help. As payment for you telling me about the milk-and-honey story.”

“Atta girl. Everypony was right about you. You are really nice.” Sassaflash coloured nicely at this.

<><><><><><>

Caramel looked up from his work at the table as Sassaflash walked in. When his cousin didn’t follow her, he frowned.

“Just you? Where’s Dreams?” Sassaflash smiled the happy smile he loved so much as she responded.

“She’s meeting Big Macintosh. He’s taking her dancing.” Caramel’s jaw dropped.

“Big Mac? Dancing?” He checked the clock.

“This late?”

“Yes. You were so right about those two. They’re really taken with each other.”

“Really?” His voice came out slightly high so he coughed and tried again,

“Really?”

“Uh huh. I passed Applejack on the way home. She said her brother has been walking around with a big smile on his face all day!”

“Uh……great! I’m glad it worked.” Sassaflash nudged him playfully in the shoulder.

“You seem to have an eye for this stuff, you should do it more often.” Caramel didn’t immediately respond, he was looking at the clock again.

“Hmm? Oh, well maybe not. Some ponies might not appreciate it.”

“I wouldn’t worry. Everypony likes to find love.”

“L-love?” Sassaflash purposefully ignored this and headed upstairs.

“Coming to bed?”

<><><><><><>

The next morning, Caramel was setting the table for breakfast when Lucky Dreams skipped in. Her cousin did a double-take.

“You’re only getting in NOW?!” Inwardly smiling, Dreams faked a yawn.

“Huaahhh. Yeah, sorry, I was with Mac all night. He took me…” She paused long enough for him to think the sentence was complete, a look of horror dawning on his face,

“…dancing.” The relief on his face was obvious but he still didn’t look happy.

“You could have left a note that you’d be out all night.” She shrugged.

“Didn’t really plan it in advance. It just sorta happened. I was having too much fun. Mac’s can really swing.” In the other room, Sassaflash was biting her hoof to keep from chuckling. Caramel was NOT happy, but he buried it and tried to push forward.

“Well tonight me and Sassaflash are going to enjoy the amateur theatre in the park. Are you coming?” Dreams put on a lopsided grin.

“Yes and no. Mac’s taking me, so we’ll see you there.”

“You’re going with Mac? Don’t you think you’re spending too much time with him?”

“Not much choice really. I’m only in town a week. We’ve got to make the most of our time.” She put a deliberate edge into her voice and watched Caramel’s frown deepen.

“Hmph. Fine. We’ll see you there. Just……let me know if you’re gonna be out all night, alright?” She saluted playfully.

“Yes, sir!”

<><><><><><>

Sitting on the grass, Caramel couldn’t concentrate on the performance.

“At least Applejack and her sister are with them.” He muttered under his breath. Leaning against him, Sassaflash stirred.

“What’s that?” He shook his head.

“Nothing….Um, listen…”

“Yes?”

“Don’t you think Dreams is sitting kinda close to Mac?” She reached up and caressed his cheek.

“You know, you’re very dashing when you get all protective of your cousin like that.” He brushed her hoof away.

“I’m serious. Look at them! He may as well be wearing her.”

“Aw leave ‘em alone, they’re not gonna do anything in a public place like this, in front of his family, now are they?” Caramel considered this.

“Yeah, I guess you’re r-HEY, THEY’RE LEAVING!” Several nearby ponies looked over at his outburst as Sassaflash tried to calm him down.

“That’s enough. They’re both adults, they can do what they want.”

“But Dreams is my baby cousin!” She bopped him on the nose.

“Then you’ll have to trust your cousin, won’t you?”

He crossed his arms, defeated and grumbling.

<><><><><><>

The next morning, Sassaflash answered the knocking at the door and found an unexpected visitor on the other side.

“Why hello, Applebloom! How are you today?”

“Howdy, miss Sassaflash. Ah’m fine. How are you?”

“Very well, thank you for asking. What can we do for you today?”

“Well, ah wanted to ask if y’all had seen mah big brother? He missed brunch.”

“WHAT?!” Caramel’s preceded him as he thundered down the stairs. For as long as he’d known Big Macintosh, the farmhoof had never once missed an Apple family brunch. Who in their right mind would? He shouldered his marefriend aside and focused on the filly at the door, who shied back, unnerved.

“Where did he go? Was Dreams with him?”

“Ah-ah don’t know. All’s ah know is he ain’t at the house. Honest.” Applebloom’s lip was quivering. Sassaflash firmly pulled the colt back and gave her a gentle hug, leading her to the table and putting a glass of juice in front of her.

“There there, Caramel didn’t mean anything by it. He’s just worried about his cousin, like you are for your brother.”

“Miss Dreams didn’t come home either?” Applebloom sniffed. Sassaflash had to look away, she didn’t think she’d be able to keep the charade up with the girl.

“No,” chipped in Caramel, trying not to frighten the filly further,

“She didn’t.”

Surprisingly, Applebloom brightened instantly.

“Well that’s fine then.”

“Huh?”

“If he’s with miss Dreams then it’s okay. She’s really nice.” Sassaflash smiled happily at her, it was easy to be 100% truthful here.

“Yes, she is. You’re right Applebloom. Caramel’s just being silly, Dreams and Mac are both really nice and they’ll look after each other.” This got a giggle from the little Earth filly.

“Well now,” Dreams piped up from the doorway,

“That’s mighty nice of you to say, Applebloom.”

“Dreams!”

“Miss Dreams!” the pink-and-blue-maned Pegasus handed a bag of muffins to Applebloom as she sat down. Caramel jumped straight into the interrogation.

“Where have you been? Where’s Mac?”

“I’ve been……out. Mac’s in town.” She turned to Applebloom,

“He’s at Sugarcube Corner with Cheerilee. If you hurry you can catch him.”

“Thanks a bunch, miss Dreams. Oh, thank you for the muffins too.” The girl’s smile was infectious.

“My pleasure, Applebloom. I’ll see you later.” Applebloom went skipping down the path. The three watched her go, then Dreams, wearing a big grin, turned to her cousin.

“Aren’t you glad that Mac’s got a marefriend? Sassaflash was telling me you worried about him.”

“I…that’s….you…” He sputtered. Finally he just gave up and stormed out of the room. The two Pegasus’ shared a concerned look.

“Too much?” Dreams asked.

“Perhaps.”

<><><><><><>

“Mac, we may have to cut this short. Caramel’s taking it worse than I thought.” The ‘couple’ were walking through town, shopping for Applejack.

“Eeyup. Ah don’t want him hurtin’ ‘cause o’ this. Ah just wanted him to back off a little.”

“Maybe that’s what we should do, back off a little? Keep the ruse going, just don’t lay it on as thick. I’ll spend some more time with him and stop pretending to I’ve been out all night. I’m pretty sure he’s convinced you’ve taken advantage of me, which isn’t fair to you either. Word could get around.”

“Meh, don’t be worryin’ about that. Caramel’s pretty much the only fella in town who doesn’t know we’re foolin’.”

“Really?”

“Eeyup.

“Poor guy. He’s never gonna see it coming.”

“Nnope.”

<><><><><><>

So, for the second half of Lucky Dreams’ week in Ponyville, she and her ‘coltfriend’ Big Macintosh kept themselves to a more safe ‘relationship’. Lunch and dinner ‘dates’ only, with plenty of time spent with other ponies at the same time. Dreams always made sure to stay in her own bed all night, and made sure to spend plenty of time with her cousin.

Caramel mellowed considerably with this arrangement. He’d never have admitted it in a million summers but he missed having some time with just him and his little cousin, regardless of whether she had a beau or not. He was downright jovial when he got his wish where Dreams and Mac joined him and Sassaflash for a double date.

At last, the day came for Lucky Dreams to head back home. At the station, she was seen off by Caramel, Sassaflash and Big Macintosh. She kissed the later on the cheek, making Caramel bristle, before giving a quick hug to her new Pegasus friend and finally throwing her arms around Caramel in a tight, emotional hug.

“It was great seeing you, big cousin.”

“You too. Take care, little cousin. I’ll miss you.”

“Miss you too. Come visit me next time.”

“Deal.”

The whistle blew for final boarding so Lucky Dreams turned to enter the train. Halting on the step, she turned to Big Macintosh.

“Mac, you and Sass look after my cousin, and make sure you tell him, you hear?” The two smiled at each other as Caramel looked on, puzzled.

“Will do, Dreams. Have a safe trip back.”

The whistle blew and the train moved off. The three watched until it was out of sight, at which point Big Macintosh turned to his friend.

“C’mon Caramel, Ah’ll buy you a drink. Ah’ve got sumthin’ ta tell you.”

“Mac, I swear to Celestia, if my cousin is pregnant…”

“Nnope, not quite. Ah’ll tell you with a drink in your hoof.”

<><><><><><>

A short while later, the entire town burst out laughing when Caramel’s “YOU WHAT?!” was heard.

<><><><><><>

Timber Treaters

Timber Treaters

16 legs, twelve small and stubby, four long and striped, ended up in a tangle. Two eyes scanned the area with a frown.

“You made me lose my prize! It has vanished from before my eyes!” She felt a shifting beneath her as the three fillies struggled to get free.

“Ow! Zecora, please get off!”

“You’re heavy!”

“Ah’m stuck!”

Easing herself to her feet, the zebra herbalist allowed the Cutie Mark Crusaders to get up.

“The Everfree at dusk is not for you. You should head home, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.” The three immediately began protesting.

“Oh come on.”

“You spend loads of time here!”

“It ain’t bedtime yet.”

A rustle drew Zecora’s attention away from the complaining children. Looking around, she shushed the girls before making her way ever-so-carefully towards the trees. As the Cutie Mark Crusaders watched, she nosed around the roots for a moment before standing up and wiping a leaf against the bark. When she looked at what she’d lifted from the trunk, Zecora grimaced.

“What’cha got there, Zecora?” Applebloom tried to peek around her. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle crowded in too, soon all three were shoving and pushing for a better view. Zecora turned on them sharply.

“You three must be quiet, I have seen more peace at a riot!” Chastised by the zebra’s unusual sternness, they stopped immediately.

“We’re sorry, Zecora.”

“Yeah, we just wanted to see.”

“Didn’t mean to disturb you none. Jus’ wanted to know what you’re holdin’.”

Sighing, she turned to the three.

“I am sorry that I had to snap, I just became worried on finding this sap.” Apprehensive looks emerged on the girls’ faces.

“Did you say sap?” Sweetie Belle began to step backwards.

“Uh….we’ll just stay out of your way then.” Scootaloo joined her.

“We’ve……had some bad experiences with tree sap.” Applebloom didn’t seem inclined to come closer either. The three shared a look and spoke as one:

“Well it’s getting late, we should head back.” As they turned to leave, Zecora, who’d been examining the gooey leaf, raised her head suddenly.

“I cannot let you go alone! There are worse things than sap that call this forest home.” The Crusaders froze, looking back fearfully,

“It is too dangerous with this dark sky, you will stay with me until I see my target with my eye.” Applebloom and her friends gulped loudly.

“Stay here…”

“…in the forest…

“…in the dark?” Zecora nodded apologetically.

“If you stay with me there is danger still, but go alone and you won’t reach Ponyville.” No sooner had she finished than the three girls were pressing against her.

“We’ve uh….we’ve decided to stay with you until you find what you’re looking for.” Scootaloo grinned uncertainly.

Zecora nodded and indicated for them to move on.

<><><><><><>

“Zecora,” Sweetie Belle hissed,

“Look!” The zebra followed the Unicorn’s gaze and saw their target, luckily still moving.

“It is good fortune that we are not too late, but now we cannot afford to wait. She is weak but still will resist. Applebloom and Scootaloo, I require an assist.”

<><><><><><>

Back at Zecora’s cottage, the four gathered round to evaluate their quarry.

“She’s so little!” Sweetie Belle was crouching low so as not to tower over her.

“It’s kinda cute.” Remarked Scootaloo, trying to avoid blocking the light.

“Is she okay, Zecora? You seemed mighty concerned with findin’ her.” Applebloom was helping the zebra to put her things away.

“She has become separated from her kin, I knew she would need help so I took her in.”

The centre of the attention, lying close-but-not-too-close to the fire, was a tiny little Timber Wolf puppy. The sap Zecora had found was akin to blood from her wounds. After they brought her home, Zecora had applied a natural poultice and now she was sleeping, her breathing even. They had barricaded a section of Zecora’s cottage as a habitat, to keep both her and themselves safe.

As the puppy slept, Zecora turned to the Crusaders.

“She is out of harm’s way, I’ll take you three home in what little remains of today.”

“Aww!”

“Cain’t we stay awhile and help look after ‘er?”

“She’s so little!”

Zecora, however, was adamant:

“Your families would worry. Return here tomorrow, there is no hurry.”

Still protesting, the three fillies were led back to Ponyville.

<><><><><><>

The next day, the Cutie Mark Crusaders burst through the door in their excitement, startling both Zecora and the puppy, which she’d been in the process of feeding.

“Howdy Zecora! We’re back!”

“Is the puppy okay?”

“Have you named her yet?”

Zecora lowered the bundle she’d been holding and glanced back at the puppy, which had shrank back against the wall, back arched.

“Perhaps your two friends are exempt but from you I thought better, Applebloom. You should be aware that strangers will scare a beast if they enter the room.”

“Sorry!” The three chorused, already across the room at the puppy’s pen. Zecora sighed and joined them. Scootaloo looked at the bundle she was slipping over her hoof.

“What’s that, Zecora?” Sweetie Belle and Applebloom soon took notice.

“Looks kinda…twiggy.”

“Ooh ooh, ah know. It’s a feedin’ glove, ain’t it, Zecora?” When the zebra nodded, Applebloom explained to her confused friends.

“See, critters like this one who don’t have a momma to feed offa should be fed with something made up to look like their momma, y’know? This one’s all twiggy to fool the little ‘un into thinkin’ it’s a Timber Wolf momma so it’ll suckle.”

“Ohhh, I get it.”

“That’s so sweet.” All smiles, the three turned back to Zecora, who’d been trying to coax the pup back to the feeder.

“What are you feeding her, Zecora?” Drawing her hoof back, Zecora hesitated before answering.

“It is milk and herbs to……..make her grow. However, even disguised as her mother, she seems to know.”

“Well, maybe it’s because you’re so big, Zecora. Maybe we should try?”

“……I suppose that is worth a try. Wait a moment while I fetch my supply.” She moved to the counter as the three girls exchanged confused looks.

“Supply of what?” Zecora returned with a smile on her face.

“We must mask your scent, Sweetie Belle, with a cover know you quite well.” She indicated her ear, from which a viscous substance dripped occasionally. The Crusaders instantly recognised it. When Zecora held up a hoof covered in sap, they groaned in unison.

<><><><><><>

“Look look, she’s doing it! She’s feeding!” Scootaloo was all smiles at finally having managed to get the puppy to drink from the glove.

“Aww.” Sweetie Belle and Applebloom gushed at the sight. Zecora smiled as well, then she handed Sweetie Belle a ball.

“While hurt she should avoid strain, however some play time should cause her no pain.”

Delighted, Sweetie Belle held up the ball, shaking it occasionally, until the puppy focused on it. Once she had it in her sights the little Wolf refused to blink, following the ball wherever Sweetie Belle directed it. Letting it gently roll off her hoof, the ball had barely hit the floor before the pup was on it, gnawing away. Her attempts sent it skittering back and forth. Whenever it got close enough, one of the girls would scoop the ball up and send it back in. The puppy soon caught on, sprinting the ball back herself so it could be thrown again, yapping happily whenever a Crusader did so.

<><><><><><>

The next day, against Zecora’s warning and while her back was turned, Applebloom had held her hoof inside the pen, trying to pet the Wolf. She’d been ready to whip her arm back when the puppy ran over, but it just too a few sniffs and, satisfied, rubbed up against it. With gasps of delight, all three Crusaders were soon getting sniffed and rubbed.

Zecora watched with a smile, but inside it was tearing her apart. They’d find out soon enough…

<><><><><><>

“C’mon, Sappy, get the ball.” The pup, lovingly named Sappy by committee decision from Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, went jogging after the ball, thrown by the latter. Upon retrieving the ball, Sappy headed straight for the nearest pony, Scootaloo, who picked her up and nuzzled her, drawing a barrage of licks from the Timber Wolf’s mossy tongue.

“Heeheehee, that tickles, Sappy!” Applebloom approached with the feeder glove.

“Toss the ball this way, Scoots, Ah gotta get her fed.”

Once the puppy had latched onto the false teat, Applebloom turned to Zecora.

“How big is she gonna get, Zecora? If we keep feeding her this good stuff and take real good care o’ her?”

The zebra felt a harsh twinge, deep inside, but kept it from her face and shrugged.

“Unfortunately, little ponies, only time will tell. The best we can do is treat her well.”

“Well that ain’t gonna be a problem, will it, Sappy?” Applebloom and her friends crowded round the Timber Wolf, piling on the affection.

<><><><><><>

“Sappy, feeding time! Here, girl.” Sappy got up from her prone position and walked over to Sweetie Belle, who settled down with the pup on the soft rug to feed her.

“Ah think she’s a li’l tired today.”

“Yeah, she’s hardly played with her ball.”

Zecora was looking away, unwilling to face the girls.

“Little ones,” she managed at last,

“tomorrow I can’t host you. I fear I have far too much to do.”

“Aww!”

“We can’t come play with Sappy?”

“Well can she stay with one of us?” Zecora shook her head.

“She is still young and weak, moving her won’t help her reach her peak.”

A while later, still grumbling, the three fillies left for the day, leaving Zecora with the puppy, who rested its head on her stomach. A single tear slipped from the zebra’s eye.

<><><><><><>

The next morning, the cottage door banged open to reveal three beaming little ponies.

“Good morning, Zecora!” They chirped. Wide-eyed, she rushed to the door.

“No no no! Girls you cannot be here, you must go!” They didn’t obey here, instead trying to squirm past her.

“We know, we won’t be a sec. Just wanna wish Sappy a good morning then we’ll be out of your hair.” They succeeded in working their way past her and dashed further into the cottage as she followed in horror.

“Sappy! Good morning, sweetheart!”

“Jus’ wanted to wish you a good morning, girl.”

“………Sappy?”

“She’s not looking at us.” Scootaloo looked to Applebloom for help, who in turn looked at Zecora.

“Did you feed her today, Zecora?” Sweetie Belle, who was closest and leaning over the prone pup, suddenly gasped and shot backwards. Zecora could only watch helplessly.

“What’s wrong, Sweetie Belle?”

“S-S-Sappy! She’s…” Worried now, Applebloom and Scootaloo rushed over to the Timber Wolf, poking and pleading. Tears in their eyes, all three turned to the zebra.

“Zecora, do something!”

“She’s so little!”

“The-the formula! Give her some, you said it’d make her better, that she’d grow big and strong!” Hanging her head, the zebra came clean.

“The mix was not to help her grow, it was to help her……..’go’.”

“W-what?”

“When we found her in the forest, the end was plain, the milk and herbs were to ease her strain.”

“So she’s….she’s….”

At the zebra’s nod, they cried, loudly and openly. For an incalculable time the forest rang with the sound of their sorrow.

Eventually, they ran out of tears to shed, though no one, pony or zebra, said a word for the longest time.

“Why?” Only Zecora raised her head at Scootaloo’s question, the other fillies remained still as their friend continued,

“Why did you let us stay? Why, Zecora? If you knew from the start then why did you let us love her?” Now the other two looked up, their grief morphing into anger.

“I……should not have asked it of you, but truth be told I knew not what else to do.” Sweetie Belle jumped up and faced her.

“You and your stupid rhymes! You always know what to say, don’t you? Go ahead, recite your poem about what kind of a monster you are!”

“I did not want to burden you with Sappy. Yes, it was cruel of me…”

The three exploded at this. They shouted horrible, hurtful, justified insults at her, though somehow her voice got through,

“…but she was happy.”

Shocked, the fell silent, their anger evaporating as a fresh, crushing wave of grief engulfed them. Crying now too, Zecora pushed through.

“You gave her warmth and brought her joy. You hugged her, fed her, played with her and her toy.”

She reached out to them but they shied away from her touch, for such little ponies it was simply too much,

“I agree I’m a monster that even I despise, but Sappy thanks you, girls, and I apologise,”

Zecora’s arms engulfed Sweetie Belle and Scoots, both grieving right down to their roots,

“It hurts you to be here after all the love that you’ve shown, but because of you three, dear girls, she didn’t die scared, or alone.”

The hug reached Applebloom, eyes shut so tight, who didn’t resist as she cried with all her might.

The four stayed this way until there were no more tears to shed, Sappy lying loved, missed, so little in her bed.

<><><><><><>

Dear Celestia, Princess of this land,

You receive letters from subjects, I’m given to understand. I’ve done a terrible thing for a supposed ‘good cause’, but my heartless actions would give a devil pause. I lied to and used three most innocent souls, I trapped them in the most awful of roles. I seek forgiveness, theirs, from others and from you,

Tell me, kind Princess, what should I do?

‘Your faithful subject’ is not a title I’ve earned, and I would not argue if this letter were spurned, yet I wish to make amends and change my dark aura, please help me, Celestia,

(vile, wicked) Zecora.

<><><><><><>

Royalty-th

Royalty-th

The letter drifted to the floor as the shocked Unicorn gasped.

“Boss? You okay?” Cloudchaser poked her head in through the door.

“…I’m fine,” Colgate replied after taking a steadying breath,

“We’ll be closing the Practice for the rest of the week.”

“The whole week?!” Flitter replied on entering, arms full of files to be organised.

“Yes, for the week. You see we’ve just received a special commission…”

The two Pegasus’ leaned in close, intrigued.

“….It seems Princess Celestia has toothache.”

Despite it being a bright, sunny day outside, all three swore there was a lightning bolt outside the window.

<><><><><><>

“I can’t believe the Princess has too-“

“SHHHHHH!!!!” Flitter and Colgate stuffed their hooves into Cloudchaser’s maw, silencing her. They quickly glanced around the rest of the carriage, where everypony was staring at them. All three flashed reassuring (and dazzling) smiles then hunkered down and spoke in low voices.

“Cloudchaser, this is NOT the sort of thing that goes public. You read Princess Luna’s letter, ’We shall visit a terrible vengeance upon thee and thyne loved ones should this go further than thyself’, do YOU want to take the chance she wasn’t kidding?” Colgate hissed.

“…no.” Cloudchaser replied, frightened.

“So…” Flitter attempted to change the subject,

“Did Luna give us any other information about……the problem? Or let us know what to expect when we reach Canterlot?” The boss shrugged.

“Just that we were to come to Canterlot discreetly and join her at the castle. I guess she’ll tell us how this is gonna go down.”

“Um…do you think we’ll be examining Luna too?” Colgate thought about it for a moment.

“It would mean we don’t get a similar letter from Celestia in the future, plus it’d do wonders for business to be seen as the official dental hygienists to the Rulers of Equestria. She didn’t say in the letter but it might be worth it to broach the topic with Luna after we take care of her Sister.” Colgate and Flitter fell quiet, both imagining how this would help their careers.

Cloudchaser, however, was imagining what state those millennia-old chompers were in.

<><><><><><>

“WE THANK THEE FOR COMING, PROUD HEALTH SPECIALISTS! IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET THAT WE MUST EMPLOY YOUR SERVICES BUT OUR SISTER’S HEALTH IS OUR PRIMARY CONCERN!” Cloudchaser and Flitter, being unfamiliar with Luna’s acoustics, were blown into the air while Colgate, who’d met the Princess of the Night on Nightmare Night, had magically anchored herself and avoided the worst of it.

She’d only been forced 5 metres back.

“We’re honoured to help, Princess, however may I humbly ask that you refrain from using the Royal Canterlot Voice? You stressed discretion in your letter.”

“OH, OF COURSE, HOW FOO- I mean, uh, how foolish of us. We ask your forgiveness.” The two Pegasus’ chose this moment to return.

That was awesome! Do it again!”

“Cloudchaser! Show some respect!”

“Right, right. Please do it again, Princess?” Flitter and Colgate facehoofed, but Luna simply chuckled.

“Nay, do not chastise her. It is gratifying to meet a pony who does not draw back from us,” Luna lowered her eyes a little,

“We had such fun in Ponyville on Nightmare Night, yet others still….” She remembered herself and raised her head again, the proud royal once more. Off to the side, Flitter had spear-tackled Cloudchaser, who had moved in to give Luna a hug. The guards, who were used to their Princess’ tendencies, still had a line not to cross and Flitter had saved Cloudchaser from doing just that.

Shaking her head at her assistants, Colgate tried to salvage the situation.

“Princess, do you have a room prepared? I assume this will be a private consultation?” The dentist did not like the look that passed between the Princess and the guards.

“Uh…thou see-est, dentist Colgate, we summoned thee here without our sister’s approval or knowledge. She hast stubbornly refused to acknowledge the issue.” Even Flitter couldn’t hold it in this time.

“You’re kidding.” She replied flatly. Luna smiled weakly.

“We are afraid not. It is actually because of this that we contacted thy establishment. In one of her reports to our sister, Twilight Sparkle spoke of your…...methods for dealing with uncooperative patients.” Colgate tried to be diplomatic.

“Well yes, Princess, we do have a unique approach to that situation but most of our ‘uncooperative patients’ are foals. We make it a game for them to ease their distress.”

“Foals?” Luna’s smile had frozen.

“Which Celestia is the furthest thing from.” Flitter got her digs in. Cloudchaser poked her in the ribs.

“Princess Celestia!” She hissed. Flitter clapped her hooves over her mouth at her faux pas. Colgate, meanwhile, pushed forward.

“However,” she began brightly,

“We recognise the importance of your request and, as loyal citizens of Equestria, will do our best to aid our Princess’ in any way possible.”

“Girls.” she said, turning to her assistants,

“Gather the equipment. This looks like an improv job.” Flitter paled, Cloudchaser brightened. Colgate addressed the Princess again.

“If we could request your aid, and that of the guards, I believe that we can accommodate your request with a minimum of trouble.” Luna, cheered by their acceptance, nodded enthusiastically.

“Let us move the conversation to a more suitable location,” Luna turned to her guards,

“Please take the ladies’ bags and follow us to the War Room.”

<><><><><><>

“And that’s my plan. Any questions?” Colgate, flanked by Cloudchaser and Flitter, looked around for uncertainty. Luna was not uncertain. She clapped her hooves together happily.

“WONDERFUL! THOU ART TRULY A MASTER TACTICIAN!” Not as excited, one of the guards at the far end of the room raised his hoof.

“Yes? A question?”

“Um, begging the lady’s pardon but we won’t be……hurting Princess Celestia will we?” Luna barked a derisive laugh.

“You? Hurt our sister? Your loyalty and concern are to be commended, guardscolt, but thou are in far more danger than Celestia. She is thousands of years old, royalty and possessed of powers thou cannot begin to fathom. The guards and thee will only be able to briefly restrain her, which, fortunately for thee, is the goal of thy part of this operation. Remove all fears of injury, at least to Celestia, from thy minds.” The guard, whose compatriots had steadily been edging away from him, stood completely rooted to his spot. Finally he found his voice.

“V-very good, Princess, as you say.” Luna nodded and turned to Colgate.

“Our sister will be heading from the gardens to the library to receive her weekly letter from her protégé, Twilight Sparkle at precisely Seven o’ clock tonight, as she always does. The passageways between the two points will be our best chance, does that suit thy scheme?”

“Perfectly, your Highness.”

“Splendid, then we shall make the necessary preparations.”

<><><><><><>

Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria and all its territories, magically levitated a napkin to wipe her mouth, wincing as her tooth announced its displeasure, and floated the empty plate and dessert fork to a servant.

“Thank you, it was delicious.”

“I am glad, Princess.” The maid bowed and withdrew. Celestia took one last look over the gardens and the sunset before rising and heading into the castle.

Twilight Sparkle, I wonder what lesson you will relay to me today?

Hmm? What’s this? Halfway along the corridor, a group of guards were shouting and swooping, evidently involved in a game of some sort. There did seem to be an awful lot of them, surely they couldn’t all be off duty? She decided to find out.

“Guards! I desire a moment of your time!” As her booming voice reached them, the guards ceased their game and waited for their Princess to come closer.

“Thank you. Now then, Captain, is all in order?” The squad leader she’d addressed saluted.

“Yes, Princess, there are no reported issues.”

“Very good, though I am intrigued as to why so many guards are playing at this hour?”

“Not playing, your Highness, we are acting on orders from Princess Luna.”

“Luna? What did she say?” Before he could answer, her sister’s voice sounded from behind her.

“NOW!” Startled, Celestia whipped her head around to face her sister, missing the guards gathering behind her.

“Luna? What’s going on heagh!” The guard ponies had dropped their pretense and, unwinding the net they’d disguised as their ball, threw it over Celestia and piled on.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!” Even Luna was affected by Celestia’s rarely used, though potent, Royal Canterlot Voice. The guards who had been pinning her down were scattered like leaves. Shucking off the net, Celestia glared at her sister and the encroaching guards.

“Sorry, dear sister, this will all be over soon.” Luna’s horn glowed bright as she launched tendrils of binding magic at her sister, who took flight down the corridor.

“AFTER HER!”

The guards and the younger Princess flapped their wings and shot after her while a servant who’d witnessed the entire event quickly spoke into the brass speaking tube.

<><><><><><>

“Understood, thank you.” Colgate closed the tube and turned to the gathered guards.

“Luna and the first team are driving her this way. Is the barrier ready?” The platoon of Unicorn guards and scholars nodded.

“It’s as strong as we can make it, as soon as they pass the 2nd window we’ll drop the other barrier behind them, sealing everypony in.” Colgate nodded and turned to the second team of Pegasus guards.

“Remember your job is to work with the other guards to drive her down so Luna and the sealing squad can lock her down. When Princess Celestia is contained, we’ll move in, perform our analysis and any necessary treatment-“

“And then we all run like hell.” Chorused Flitter and Cloudchaser, the former deadpan and the latter jolly.

<><><><><><>

What’s gotten into Luna? Is it Nightmare Moon resurfacing? I need to get to the library, contact Twilight and her friends!

That was the plan anyway, though after slamming full-on into the waiting barrier she was having trouble remembering it. She shot a barrage of magic at the barrier but there was no apparent effect. Looking back at her pursuers, she noticed a similar barrier forming behind them. No choice then.

“ENOUGH!” She put as much into the bellow as she could, noting that the guards all were forced back even if her sister pushed through without trouble.

“I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’VE DONE THIS, LITTLE SISTER, BUT I WILL DEFEND MYSELF IF I HAVE TO!” Luna slowed as she neared her, though maintained her grim smile.

“We wish thee no harm, sister, however there is something we must do.” The guards who’d been blown back by her shout had formed up behind Luna, who raised her hoof. Celestia barely had time to register the movement before the veritable swarm of Pegasus guards dropped from the rafters onto her, forcing her down.

Celestia kicked and bucked but the guards did not retaliate, instead they seemed fixated on trapping her wings. Panic took her. If she hit the ground she was finished! Redoubling her efforts, she tossed half-a-dozen of the traitorous swine but it was all for naught, her hooves touched carpet and the remaining weight folded her up.

A quartet of Unicorns appeared as if out of thin air and jabbed her legs with their horns. Magical chains emerged from the floor and wrapped around her legs, pinning them in place. With the Pegasus guards sitting on her wings and the Unicorns binding her legs, the only means of defense she had left was her horn. Readying a monumental blast, she was moments from unleashing it when her sister’s horn clashed against hers. Magic flowed from Luna to Celestia and suddenly her blast receded.

Celestia was well and truly helpless.

“Let us begin.” Celestia craned her neck as much as she was able and saw three ponies in surgical masks and scrubs approaching.

Butcherers! They’re gonna take me apart to see what makes me tick!

She began sweating as one of the ponies, a Pegasus with spiky hair even under her medical cap, approached and began rummaging in her pack. She moved down to Celestia’s side so the trapped pony didn’t see what she withdrew, but it must be some horrid incision tool. Oh Equestria, Celestia could feel it against her side, any moment she’d experience the stabbing pain of….of….heh, that kinda tickles…hehehe….it really tickles….wait a second…

“HahahastopstophahahahahahahahaIcan’ttakeithahahahahaha….”

As Cloudchaser swished the up and down Celestia’s ribs, the Princess was laughing out loud, mouth open and curved upwards. Her eyes were closed so she didn’t see Colgate examining her mouth, illuminated by the light Flitter was shining in.

“Hmm….yes….I see….well that could be it….” As she performed her analysis, Colgate murmured to herself as she mentally went through her checklist. Finally she spotted the offending chomper.

“I see it. Okay now, Flitter, hold her head still. Cloudchaser, knock it off already and make with the disinfecting.”

“Aye aye, boss.”

“’kay!” As flitter firmly (but gently) held Celestia’s head still and mouth open, Cloudchaser brought out her tools and went to work. For all her carefree spirit, she was an artist past the lips. It was why Colgate employed her. Her patients, Celestia included, barely felt a thing as she gave the initial sterilisation and cleaning that led Colgate work to her maximum efficiency. When she was done, Celestia was left with a light, minty feeling in her mouth, which she quickly tried to shut as Colgate approached with her scraper. The feeling of the metal rasping around her molars was not pleasant, though Colgate was an expert and reduced the discomfort as much as possible. She kept up a running diatribe (Colgate was a big proponent of teaching as preparation) as she worked.

“Our patient, who has been a very good girl about this whole thing, was suffering from a build-up of acid and excess tartar in a back tooth due to inadequate cleaning. Understandable as her sister tells us that she routinely eats fruity, sticky cakes which can be deceptively hard to completely clean from the teeth. It’s a simple matter to remove the offending build-up and…”

She kept this up until she finished, wherein Flitter gave Celestia’s mouth a thorough rinse (she wasn’t the natural that Cloudchaser was but she was clinically competent and an absolute DEMON with the filing). As they were packing away, Cloudchaser turned to Luna.

“She really doesn’t look happy. What happens when we let her go?” Celestia didn’t answer, merely glared, while Luna stepped forward.

“Don’t worry, we are prepared.” Her horn glowed as she touched it to the nape of Celestia’s neck, the elder Princess instantly falling unconscious.

“That will keep her out for 15 minutes. We advise all ponies present to NOT be here when she wakes up.” She turned to Colgate and her assistants,

“We shall contact you shortly to arrange payment and the other details.” Colgate nodded.

“Very good, Princess.” She took a scroll out of her bag and gave it to Luna,

“That is a list of dietary recommendations for the next month, to give the tooth time to grow strong again.”

“We shall see to it that the palace chefs are informed.” Colgate nodded again before bending down and setting a lollipop next to the slumbering Celestia. At Luna’s questioning glance, she shrugged.

“Sugar-free. Every patient gets one. Now then, Princess. I think we’ll be off.”

The guards and scholars were already long gone.

<><><><><><>

Colgate, Cloudchaser and Flitter were already on the train when every window in the castle blew out.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO CAKE FOR A MONTH?!”

<><><><><><>

Author’s note: I really am surprised this reached 2600 words. I was struggling before I hit 1000.