30 Minute Delay

You’re Not Respected? Then They’re Rejected!

Mayor Mare looked up as her assistant, Day Planner, knocked and stuck his head around the office door.

“Madam Mayor? The candidates for the opening are here. Shall I send in the first one?”

“Please do, Day Planner, thank you.” He nodded and his head vanished from around the door. Steeling herself for the trials ahead, the Mayor of Ponyville arranged her face into a picture of welcoming pleasantry.

It’s gonna be a long day.

<><><><><><>

“Sooo, what do you think is needed for good public relations between the Mayor’s office and the Ponyville citizens?” This was the standard opening question and there were a variety of right answers. The responses she got were………less so.

“You have to keep the people in good spirits.” A stone-grey Earth pony deadpanned.

“Show that their issues are important to you.” A Pegasus yawned, slouching in his seat.

“It’s, like, important to, y’know, commu-…commini-…consummate…talk good and junk, or whatever.” A Unicorn managed between blowing gum bubbles with her horn.

“Free candy is always good!”

“Pinkie Pie, get out of here!”

<><><><><><>

The final applicant sat waiting patiently, fingers laced together, when the door to the Mayor’s office slammed open and a barely-adult colt flew out, upside down, and slammed into the opposite wall. He dragged himself painfully to his feet and, straightening his backwards cap and gold chains, sent an annoyed look towards the pissed-off mare stalking towards him.

“’Ey girl, what’s yo’ deal? I give you the offer of a lifetime, rollin’ wit da main stallion here, and you throw me through a do-uhk!!” His last word was cut short as he found himself pinned to the wall a foot of the ground. Mayor Mare, her face red from embarrassment and anger, spoke quietly and softly.

“If you ever make those obscene gestures in my presence again, no, if you ARE in my presence again, I will personally feed you those chains and the hat for dessert, and THEN I’ll go to work on you. Do you understand me?” Eyes wide with terror, the overmatched colt managed a nod. Mayor Mare let him down then turned her gaze towards Day Planner, who had the good sense not to be looking at her, and the final applicant, who was staring open-mouthed.

“Ah, you must be a new Security guard, kindly escort the applicant here out of the building, we will not be hiring him.” It didn’t even occur to him not to obey, he grabbed the colt by the scruff of the neck and dragged him away, returning a few minutes later, where Day Planner offered him a cool drink.

“Please be patient, she’ll be with you in a moment.”

<><><><><><>

Significantly calmer, and back to her usual brown colour, Mayor Mare was surprised when the final applicant walked in.

“Is something the matter? Did Casanova cause any more trouble?” She sighed,

“Am I gonna have to get a restraining order?” Again. Smiling, he raised his arms.

“No ma’am, nothing like that. Iron Will is just here to apply as your Public Relations Officer.”

“Oh,” Mayor Mare replied, taken aback. Quickly she began to fidget,

“Uh……all that commotion in the hallway…” Iron Will quickly gave her a thumbs-up.

“Iron Will was moved by your vigour, ma’am, Iron Will would be honoured to work with a pony who knows how to throw other ponies’ weight around!”

“But you’re a well-known motivational speaker, why do you want to work here?”

“Well, ma’am, Iron Will’s tour has ended and won’t begin again for months. While Iron Will could easily live off the royalties until that time, Iron Will has found himself feeling bored and needing to pass the time. This seemed like an ideal experience for Iron Will to continue Iron Will’s work in another theatre. Iron Will won’t lie to you, ma’am, Iron Will loves his making ponies tougher and better but Iron Will also recognises that Iron Will could be more political. Iron Will sees this as a good starting point, a chance to learn from an exceptional teacher as it were.” Mayor Mare found herself flattered. She quickly took stock of the situation.

He certainly has an impressive resume.

He refers to himself as Iron Will a lot.

His name alone brings a crowd.

He knows about what happened in the corridor.

He’s very charismatic.

He doesn’t have much political prowess.

“Iron Will can see that you’re conflicted about Iron Will’s application. Iron Will will make you the same guarantee he makes for all his seminars: If you aren’t 100% satisfied, Iron Will’s service is totally free!”

Sold!

<><><><><><>

The next day, Iron Will accompanied the Mayor to a meeting with the senior staff at the hospital. No sooner had they entered the meeting room when Iron Will was mobbed by staff members.

“Iron Will, Iron Will, can I get an autograph?” Used to the attention, he smiled and held his hands in front of him, indicating the Mayor standing off to the side.

“Iron Will is very touched by your praise, however Iron Will is here on official business as a member of the Mayor’s staff today, it wouldn’t be right to involve personal business on the Mayor’s time.”

“Aww, please? Just one autograph?” The doctor immediately found himself lifted off the floor and at eye level with Iron Will, who did not look happy.

“Did Iron Will not make himself clear? Iron Will is not involved today. The Mayor is the important one at this meeting. YOU IGNORE THE BOSS, IT’LL BE YOUR LOSS!!!” He roared, the doctors immediately rushing to the table to begin the meeting, all eyes on Mayor Mare.

Well, that didn’t take long, she thought,

this may work out after all.

<><><><><><>

As they were leaving the hospital, Iron Will leaned in close to the Mayor.

“Iron Will just wanted to say how impressive you were in there, ma’am. Iron Will especially liked how you stayed firm when that one doctor began pushing about the budget.” Grimacing, the Mayor nodded.

“Yes, he was persistent wasn’t he? Unfortunately we just don’t have the spare capital to fund such a project as he was talking about right now. We’ll likely need a few years before we’re in a position to do so. I tried to make that clear to him.”

“And you succeeded, ma’am. Iron Will believes you are most definitely the right mare for this job. Your choices are what are best for Ponyville. Why else would the citizens have elected you?” While she was trying to stay humble, Mayor Mare couldn’t help but smile, enjoying the praise.

“I……suppose that’s true. I hadn’t really looked at it like that before. I just tried to do my best.”

“Iron Will’s gonna give you his best too, ma’am, for Ponyville. Iron Will trusts your choices wholeheartedly!”

<><><><><><>

When they returned to the town hall, Mayor Mare asked for her messages. Iron Will went to make some coffee while she looked over the points from the hospital meeting and waited.

After 10 minutes had passed, Mayor Mare was getting annoyed. Getting up from her desk, she went out to the reception area to find out what the delay was. A familiar scene awaited her. The front-desk twins, Inbox and Outtray, were arguing again. Something about the minutiae of some obscure corner of the filing system.

“Inbox, Outtray, could I-“ Before she could finish, the colt, Outtray, cut her off.

“Just a moment, madam Mayor,” he turned back to his sister,

“How can you say that the Whoazambique Accord should be filed under Neutral, the whole point…” he continued to bicker with his sister. Normally, Mayor Mare wouldn’t mind as they still worked extremely fast and there was always time in the day to finish, however she wasn’t in the mood to wait today and she CERTAINLY wasn’t going to be brushed off like that by a subordinate. Trying to channel Iron Will’s direct method, she stomped forward and repeatedly slammed her hoof down onto the bell. The twins fell silent, looking at her in shock.

“I asked for my messages 10 minutes ago. Deliver them to my office promptly in the future, or else I’d think you were distracting each other and I’d have to reassign one of you.” The twins went white. They spent all their time together. They literally didn’t know how to function without each other. It’d been that way since they were born. There was no more severe threat to them.

As Mayor Mare walked back to her office, she began to have regrets.

Perhaps I was a little hard on them. I’ll apologise at the end of the day. However, as she sat down at her desk, she saw that, even though she’d taken the most direct route back to her office, her messages were already there waiting for her.

As Iron Will walked in with the coffees, he was greeted with a triumphant smile on his boss’ face.

<><><><><><>

“Iron Will has arranged it so that today’s meetings will take place in a public forum, so that the citizens can better understand how your work is best for Ponyville.” The minotaur was wearing his headset and seemed to be receiving three reports every second but still kept pace with her and maintained conversation.

“I think that’s a great idea. Get some publicity on the administration of the town, we appear confident and more approachable at the same time.”

“Aptly put, ma’am. Iron Will is truly in the presence of a master.”

“Let’s go make the town better, shall we?”

“Iron Will is right behind you, ma’am.”

<><><><><><>

It was a busy day. Issues were being raised from all sides.

“We still need help at the hospital. We’re short-hooved!” Nurse Redheart attempted to make her case. The Mayor had heard it all before but felt it should be addressed publicly.

“We are aware of the problem but the town’s budget is stretched thin as it is. We already employ any trained medical ponies at our facilities, we’d have to pay through the nose to draw in doctors and nurses from the surrounding districts, which is simply too pricey. If you feel that we need to ease the strain on our staff then I see no problem in allowing volunteers to assist with minor duties so our trained staff can handle the more intensive injuries and illnesses. It’s common knowledge that Pinkie Pie and others would love to gush over the new-borns in the maternity wards.”

“You bet I would!” Came a cry from near the back. Mayor Mare moved onto the next issue.

“The market is too crowded when it’s busy!” Several ponies voiced their agreement with this.

“We’ll move the market to the open space around Carousel Boutique. That will alleviate the crush and increase hoof traffic in our other stores.”

“New customers! Delightful!” A refined voice piped up.

“The town’s dropping the ball environmentally!” A scientist pony yelled out.

“Then the town will institute a mandatory recycling policy. All non-foods should be recycled if possible.” Mayor Mare answered a few more questions then called an end to the address. Iron Will had her meet with the reporters to discuss the new, hard-line government in effect in Ponyville.

“Mayor Mare, everypony! SHOW HER NO DOUBT, SHE’LL HELP YOU OUT!”

<><><><><><>

The other ponies left the gathering in good spirits and happy with their decisive Mayor. Thanks to her decisions, the town enjoyed a brief period of high efficiency.

<><><><><><>

It lasted all of three days. Walking into her office on the fourth day, she was greeted with a flurry of activity.

“What’s going on?” She demanded. Day Planner stopped writing long enough to speak, he didn’t look up though.

“We’ve got problems all over town! Ponies are turning on each other left and right!” Concerned, she headed to her office, she was briefly stopped by Inbox, who shoved a bunch of messages into her hooves tersely then re-joined her brother in trying to keep track of everything. She read the messages on the way.

The volunteers are causing more problems than the patients! We’re losing a small fortune in broken equipment and there’s too many ponies getting in the way and wasting our time with questions! - Redheart

The extra ponies around are kicking up dust and ruining my fabrics, not to mention those who stake out the best spots are gouging prices! – Rarity

I’m losing 2 out of every 3 books I lend out to ‘recycling’ and other ponies are reporting similar problems – Twilight Sparkle

Iron Will walked in just as she settled herself at her desk.

“Iron Will is here to help, ma’am, which ponies do you want me to talk to first, to let them know you are on it?”

“Not now, Iron Will, I need to get on top of this paperwork.”

“Paperwork?” He was incredulous,

“Paperwork can be saved for later, you need to be SEEN right now, keeping the ship right.”

“A ship with a captain at the wheel will still sink if it’s full of holes, Iron Will.”

“The Ponyville citizens will be lost without you around!”

“That’s enough!” She glanced up at him in anger,

“You don’t give them enough credit. They don’t need me to hold their hand through everything, you know. A Mayor is not a mother, I don’t decide everything for them. I govern them, put them in a situation where they can thrive themselves.”

I’d forgotten that in all the hype and flash of his words. Putting her hooves together, she looked at him over the top of her glasses.

“Iron Will?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I’m NOT 100% satisfied.”

“What do you mean you’re not satisfied? You were loving it, Iron Will could see it in your face!” She nodded at his words but did not smile.

“You’re right. I did love it. I thought I was being, as you so brashly put it, ‘the boss’, making the decisions and improving everything. I wasn’t though, I was just being pushy in my own way and ponies were too intimidated or charmed to disagree with me.”

“So it’s a bad thing to have everypony on board?”

“No, not necessarily. However, they still need to be on board a stable vessel. This was not a stable vessel, it just had pretty sails.”

“Madam Mayor, Iron Will would like you to reconsider…”

“I know you would, Iron Will, but your style is best suited for, how did you put it, ‘another theatre’?” The minotaur stared gruffly at her for a few moments, looking like he intended to continue the argument, until finally he deflated.

“Very well, Madam Mayor, Iron Will won’t make any more decisions. Iron Will is, however, still under contract with you. Tell Iron Will what you need and Iron Will will get to it.” She gave him a grateful smile.

“Thank you, Iron Will. Go talk to Day Planner, see what he needs help with. I must deal with this paperwork.”

Bowing, the minotaur left her office.

<><><><><><>

Several hours later, an end was in sight. The Mayor called Day Planner into her office.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“See that Iron Will is paid for his time. It’s not his fault things went this way. On that topic, we’ll need some damage control on the publicity front, so please send a message to Pinkie Pie, telling her that I’d like to see her at once…”

She thought for a moment,

“…and put out a bowl of candy.”

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Author’s note: Poor Iron Will, he just wants to help.