30 Minute Delay

Royalty-th

The letter drifted to the floor as the shocked Unicorn gasped.

“Boss? You okay?” Cloudchaser poked her head in through the door.

“…I’m fine,” Colgate replied after taking a steadying breath,

“We’ll be closing the Practice for the rest of the week.”

“The whole week?!” Flitter replied on entering, arms full of files to be organised.

“Yes, for the week. You see we’ve just received a special commission…”

The two Pegasus’ leaned in close, intrigued.

“….It seems Princess Celestia has toothache.”

Despite it being a bright, sunny day outside, all three swore there was a lightning bolt outside the window.

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“I can’t believe the Princess has too-“

“SHHHHHH!!!!” Flitter and Colgate stuffed their hooves into Cloudchaser’s maw, silencing her. They quickly glanced around the rest of the carriage, where everypony was staring at them. All three flashed reassuring (and dazzling) smiles then hunkered down and spoke in low voices.

“Cloudchaser, this is NOT the sort of thing that goes public. You read Princess Luna’s letter, ’We shall visit a terrible vengeance upon thee and thyne loved ones should this go further than thyself’, do YOU want to take the chance she wasn’t kidding?” Colgate hissed.

“…no.” Cloudchaser replied, frightened.

“So…” Flitter attempted to change the subject,

“Did Luna give us any other information about……the problem? Or let us know what to expect when we reach Canterlot?” The boss shrugged.

“Just that we were to come to Canterlot discreetly and join her at the castle. I guess she’ll tell us how this is gonna go down.”

“Um…do you think we’ll be examining Luna too?” Colgate thought about it for a moment.

“It would mean we don’t get a similar letter from Celestia in the future, plus it’d do wonders for business to be seen as the official dental hygienists to the Rulers of Equestria. She didn’t say in the letter but it might be worth it to broach the topic with Luna after we take care of her Sister.” Colgate and Flitter fell quiet, both imagining how this would help their careers.

Cloudchaser, however, was imagining what state those millennia-old chompers were in.

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“WE THANK THEE FOR COMING, PROUD HEALTH SPECIALISTS! IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET THAT WE MUST EMPLOY YOUR SERVICES BUT OUR SISTER’S HEALTH IS OUR PRIMARY CONCERN!” Cloudchaser and Flitter, being unfamiliar with Luna’s acoustics, were blown into the air while Colgate, who’d met the Princess of the Night on Nightmare Night, had magically anchored herself and avoided the worst of it.

She’d only been forced 5 metres back.

“We’re honoured to help, Princess, however may I humbly ask that you refrain from using the Royal Canterlot Voice? You stressed discretion in your letter.”

“OH, OF COURSE, HOW FOO- I mean, uh, how foolish of us. We ask your forgiveness.” The two Pegasus’ chose this moment to return.

That was awesome! Do it again!”

“Cloudchaser! Show some respect!”

“Right, right. Please do it again, Princess?” Flitter and Colgate facehoofed, but Luna simply chuckled.

“Nay, do not chastise her. It is gratifying to meet a pony who does not draw back from us,” Luna lowered her eyes a little,

“We had such fun in Ponyville on Nightmare Night, yet others still….” She remembered herself and raised her head again, the proud royal once more. Off to the side, Flitter had spear-tackled Cloudchaser, who had moved in to give Luna a hug. The guards, who were used to their Princess’ tendencies, still had a line not to cross and Flitter had saved Cloudchaser from doing just that.

Shaking her head at her assistants, Colgate tried to salvage the situation.

“Princess, do you have a room prepared? I assume this will be a private consultation?” The dentist did not like the look that passed between the Princess and the guards.

“Uh…thou see-est, dentist Colgate, we summoned thee here without our sister’s approval or knowledge. She hast stubbornly refused to acknowledge the issue.” Even Flitter couldn’t hold it in this time.

“You’re kidding.” She replied flatly. Luna smiled weakly.

“We are afraid not. It is actually because of this that we contacted thy establishment. In one of her reports to our sister, Twilight Sparkle spoke of your…...methods for dealing with uncooperative patients.” Colgate tried to be diplomatic.

“Well yes, Princess, we do have a unique approach to that situation but most of our ‘uncooperative patients’ are foals. We make it a game for them to ease their distress.”

“Foals?” Luna’s smile had frozen.

“Which Celestia is the furthest thing from.” Flitter got her digs in. Cloudchaser poked her in the ribs.

“Princess Celestia!” She hissed. Flitter clapped her hooves over her mouth at her faux pas. Colgate, meanwhile, pushed forward.

“However,” she began brightly,

“We recognise the importance of your request and, as loyal citizens of Equestria, will do our best to aid our Princess’ in any way possible.”

“Girls.” she said, turning to her assistants,

“Gather the equipment. This looks like an improv job.” Flitter paled, Cloudchaser brightened. Colgate addressed the Princess again.

“If we could request your aid, and that of the guards, I believe that we can accommodate your request with a minimum of trouble.” Luna, cheered by their acceptance, nodded enthusiastically.

“Let us move the conversation to a more suitable location,” Luna turned to her guards,

“Please take the ladies’ bags and follow us to the War Room.”

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“And that’s my plan. Any questions?” Colgate, flanked by Cloudchaser and Flitter, looked around for uncertainty. Luna was not uncertain. She clapped her hooves together happily.

“WONDERFUL! THOU ART TRULY A MASTER TACTICIAN!” Not as excited, one of the guards at the far end of the room raised his hoof.

“Yes? A question?”

“Um, begging the lady’s pardon but we won’t be……hurting Princess Celestia will we?” Luna barked a derisive laugh.

“You? Hurt our sister? Your loyalty and concern are to be commended, guardscolt, but thou are in far more danger than Celestia. She is thousands of years old, royalty and possessed of powers thou cannot begin to fathom. The guards and thee will only be able to briefly restrain her, which, fortunately for thee, is the goal of thy part of this operation. Remove all fears of injury, at least to Celestia, from thy minds.” The guard, whose compatriots had steadily been edging away from him, stood completely rooted to his spot. Finally he found his voice.

“V-very good, Princess, as you say.” Luna nodded and turned to Colgate.

“Our sister will be heading from the gardens to the library to receive her weekly letter from her protégé, Twilight Sparkle at precisely Seven o’ clock tonight, as she always does. The passageways between the two points will be our best chance, does that suit thy scheme?”

“Perfectly, your Highness.”

“Splendid, then we shall make the necessary preparations.”

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Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria and all its territories, magically levitated a napkin to wipe her mouth, wincing as her tooth announced its displeasure, and floated the empty plate and dessert fork to a servant.

“Thank you, it was delicious.”

“I am glad, Princess.” The maid bowed and withdrew. Celestia took one last look over the gardens and the sunset before rising and heading into the castle.

Twilight Sparkle, I wonder what lesson you will relay to me today?

Hmm? What’s this? Halfway along the corridor, a group of guards were shouting and swooping, evidently involved in a game of some sort. There did seem to be an awful lot of them, surely they couldn’t all be off duty? She decided to find out.

“Guards! I desire a moment of your time!” As her booming voice reached them, the guards ceased their game and waited for their Princess to come closer.

“Thank you. Now then, Captain, is all in order?” The squad leader she’d addressed saluted.

“Yes, Princess, there are no reported issues.”

“Very good, though I am intrigued as to why so many guards are playing at this hour?”

“Not playing, your Highness, we are acting on orders from Princess Luna.”

“Luna? What did she say?” Before he could answer, her sister’s voice sounded from behind her.

“NOW!” Startled, Celestia whipped her head around to face her sister, missing the guards gathering behind her.

“Luna? What’s going on heagh!” The guard ponies had dropped their pretense and, unwinding the net they’d disguised as their ball, threw it over Celestia and piled on.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!” Even Luna was affected by Celestia’s rarely used, though potent, Royal Canterlot Voice. The guards who had been pinning her down were scattered like leaves. Shucking off the net, Celestia glared at her sister and the encroaching guards.

“Sorry, dear sister, this will all be over soon.” Luna’s horn glowed bright as she launched tendrils of binding magic at her sister, who took flight down the corridor.

“AFTER HER!”

The guards and the younger Princess flapped their wings and shot after her while a servant who’d witnessed the entire event quickly spoke into the brass speaking tube.

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“Understood, thank you.” Colgate closed the tube and turned to the gathered guards.

“Luna and the first team are driving her this way. Is the barrier ready?” The platoon of Unicorn guards and scholars nodded.

“It’s as strong as we can make it, as soon as they pass the 2nd window we’ll drop the other barrier behind them, sealing everypony in.” Colgate nodded and turned to the second team of Pegasus guards.

“Remember your job is to work with the other guards to drive her down so Luna and the sealing squad can lock her down. When Princess Celestia is contained, we’ll move in, perform our analysis and any necessary treatment-“

“And then we all run like hell.” Chorused Flitter and Cloudchaser, the former deadpan and the latter jolly.

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What’s gotten into Luna? Is it Nightmare Moon resurfacing? I need to get to the library, contact Twilight and her friends!

That was the plan anyway, though after slamming full-on into the waiting barrier she was having trouble remembering it. She shot a barrage of magic at the barrier but there was no apparent effect. Looking back at her pursuers, she noticed a similar barrier forming behind them. No choice then.

“ENOUGH!” She put as much into the bellow as she could, noting that the guards all were forced back even if her sister pushed through without trouble.

“I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’VE DONE THIS, LITTLE SISTER, BUT I WILL DEFEND MYSELF IF I HAVE TO!” Luna slowed as she neared her, though maintained her grim smile.

“We wish thee no harm, sister, however there is something we must do.” The guards who’d been blown back by her shout had formed up behind Luna, who raised her hoof. Celestia barely had time to register the movement before the veritable swarm of Pegasus guards dropped from the rafters onto her, forcing her down.

Celestia kicked and bucked but the guards did not retaliate, instead they seemed fixated on trapping her wings. Panic took her. If she hit the ground she was finished! Redoubling her efforts, she tossed half-a-dozen of the traitorous swine but it was all for naught, her hooves touched carpet and the remaining weight folded her up.

A quartet of Unicorns appeared as if out of thin air and jabbed her legs with their horns. Magical chains emerged from the floor and wrapped around her legs, pinning them in place. With the Pegasus guards sitting on her wings and the Unicorns binding her legs, the only means of defense she had left was her horn. Readying a monumental blast, she was moments from unleashing it when her sister’s horn clashed against hers. Magic flowed from Luna to Celestia and suddenly her blast receded.

Celestia was well and truly helpless.

“Let us begin.” Celestia craned her neck as much as she was able and saw three ponies in surgical masks and scrubs approaching.

Butcherers! They’re gonna take me apart to see what makes me tick!

She began sweating as one of the ponies, a Pegasus with spiky hair even under her medical cap, approached and began rummaging in her pack. She moved down to Celestia’s side so the trapped pony didn’t see what she withdrew, but it must be some horrid incision tool. Oh Equestria, Celestia could feel it against her side, any moment she’d experience the stabbing pain of….of….heh, that kinda tickles…hehehe….it really tickles….wait a second…

“HahahastopstophahahahahahahahaIcan’ttakeithahahahahaha….”

As Cloudchaser swished the up and down Celestia’s ribs, the Princess was laughing out loud, mouth open and curved upwards. Her eyes were closed so she didn’t see Colgate examining her mouth, illuminated by the light Flitter was shining in.

“Hmm….yes….I see….well that could be it….” As she performed her analysis, Colgate murmured to herself as she mentally went through her checklist. Finally she spotted the offending chomper.

“I see it. Okay now, Flitter, hold her head still. Cloudchaser, knock it off already and make with the disinfecting.”

“Aye aye, boss.”

“’kay!” As flitter firmly (but gently) held Celestia’s head still and mouth open, Cloudchaser brought out her tools and went to work. For all her carefree spirit, she was an artist past the lips. It was why Colgate employed her. Her patients, Celestia included, barely felt a thing as she gave the initial sterilisation and cleaning that led Colgate work to her maximum efficiency. When she was done, Celestia was left with a light, minty feeling in her mouth, which she quickly tried to shut as Colgate approached with her scraper. The feeling of the metal rasping around her molars was not pleasant, though Colgate was an expert and reduced the discomfort as much as possible. She kept up a running diatribe (Colgate was a big proponent of teaching as preparation) as she worked.

“Our patient, who has been a very good girl about this whole thing, was suffering from a build-up of acid and excess tartar in a back tooth due to inadequate cleaning. Understandable as her sister tells us that she routinely eats fruity, sticky cakes which can be deceptively hard to completely clean from the teeth. It’s a simple matter to remove the offending build-up and…”

She kept this up until she finished, wherein Flitter gave Celestia’s mouth a thorough rinse (she wasn’t the natural that Cloudchaser was but she was clinically competent and an absolute DEMON with the filing). As they were packing away, Cloudchaser turned to Luna.

“She really doesn’t look happy. What happens when we let her go?” Celestia didn’t answer, merely glared, while Luna stepped forward.

“Don’t worry, we are prepared.” Her horn glowed as she touched it to the nape of Celestia’s neck, the elder Princess instantly falling unconscious.

“That will keep her out for 15 minutes. We advise all ponies present to NOT be here when she wakes up.” She turned to Colgate and her assistants,

“We shall contact you shortly to arrange payment and the other details.” Colgate nodded.

“Very good, Princess.” She took a scroll out of her bag and gave it to Luna,

“That is a list of dietary recommendations for the next month, to give the tooth time to grow strong again.”

“We shall see to it that the palace chefs are informed.” Colgate nodded again before bending down and setting a lollipop next to the slumbering Celestia. At Luna’s questioning glance, she shrugged.

“Sugar-free. Every patient gets one. Now then, Princess. I think we’ll be off.”

The guards and scholars were already long gone.

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Colgate, Cloudchaser and Flitter were already on the train when every window in the castle blew out.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO CAKE FOR A MONTH?!”

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Author’s note: I really am surprised this reached 2600 words. I was struggling before I hit 1000.