Form O-134

by marmalado

Rating: everyone
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Random, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1183

A portal mishap causes Starlight to wander into a world where she is mistaken for a human that got turned into a pony. This, of course, presents some complications...and a lot of ire on her end.

If there's a fire, Starlight Glimmer calls the fire department.

If there's a robbery, she calls the police.

If she goes to a world outside of Equestria -- and we mean "test a portal that goes to a world outside of Equestria" --

Well, that's what these two humans who claim they're from some organization called "Odd Squad" deal with. Whether she likes it or not. And frankly...she doesn't.

This is a standalone piece and is not connected to any of my pre-existing MLP and Odd Squad crossover stories.

Written for the A Thousand Words Contest II, under the Experimental section.

Published 2023-06-19 22:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-06-19 22:30:00 UTC

Form O-134

Name: Starlight Glimmer.

Age: Rarity once said "a lady never reveals her true age".

What seems to be the problem?
Well, I'm testing this new portal spell I learned that supposedly connects to other dimensions...and it just so happens that I stumbled my way into one that's populated by humans, though I don't think it's Sunset Shimmer's world. Anyway, apparently two of your agents think I'm some human turned into a pony, which, I can assure you, I'm not. And apparently, this "Odd Squad" doesn't know a thing about Equestria. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'll have to ask Twilight about that later.

When did this happen?
I'd like to say...mid-afternoon? I'm not too sure, I wasn't really keeping track of the time.

What were you doing when this happened?
...I just told you. Two questions ago, I told you. See above.

Do you know what caused this to happen?
Well, let me guess. Either it's because I'm a pony in a world populated by humans -- er, mostly populated by humans, anyway -- or it's because I'm a unicorn. Or maybe it's because I classify as something "odd" that the "Odd Squad" has to get rid of.

...Yeah, that last one's probably it.

Describe how you are feeling:
A little upset. I mean, I've been to a world of humans before, but they never accused me of being a pony inside of a human's body. So why is the "Odd Squad" accusing me of being a human inside of a pony's body? Sure, you guys don't know me. I'm not some big household name in your world or anything like that. But surely unicorns are common here, are they not? I've seen them walking here before, although they're nothing like the unicorns of Equestria. They're...pretty ugly-looking. No offense.

That all being said, perhaps proper introductions are just what we need to resolve this issue. I know this is just a silly questionnaire, but maybe you guys could keep me updated? A letter in response? A visit to Equestria?

Have you ever contacted Odd Squad before?
No, because I've never heard of ~~the~~ "Odd Squad" before today. I got this form from one of your agents and it doesn't even have any contact information on it. So how, exactly, would I contact you?

Do we have permission to use gadgets?
Er...no. If they're anything like what we have in Equestria, sure, but I have a feeling we both have different ideas on what a gadget is. Can we compromise and say that you can use gadgets on things that aren't living?

Do we have permission to bring you to Headquarters?
Yes! Please do. I'm actually quite interested in learning more about this world, and going to "Odd Squad" Headquarters seems like a good place to start. My curiosity certainly is piqued.

Emergency contact:
You're free to contact my friends. No, no, wait, maybe just Twilight would be better. Her contact information will be listed below...

Author's Note

Princess Twilight Sparkle
Castle of Friendship
Ponyville, Equestria 57110

Response Letter

Dear Ms. Glimmer,
Thank you for submitting Form O-134 in regards to your recent visit to Toronto, Ontario, Canada, North America, Earth. (Hey, you said you wanted to know all about our world. I figured I would spell the exact location out for you.) We are very sorry you had an unpleasant experience with Odd Squad. In this letter, I'd like to put a couple of things at ease for you that I hope is to your satisfaction.

First of all, attached is a brochure I've made that should tell you all about Earth, as well as a brochure that should tell you more about Odd Squad and what we do. Although you aren't a client of ours, you're more than welcome to stop by Precinct 13579 and see what we do here. If you wish to learn more about Earth, we're your go-to organization. Odd Squad is, after all, a keystone of my planet, and we're absolutely no stranger to otherworldly ambassadors.

Second of all, my apologies go to you on behalf of two of my agents, Agent Olive and Agent Otto. How they treated you was way out of line and I have punished them accordingly. They said they were more than willing to meet you and apologize in-person (in-pony?), so if you do stop by, please feel free to ask for them. They are some of my best agents, but even my best agents have flaws.

Third of all, depending on if you are open to having other inhabitants of your world visit ours or not, I plan on holding a wide-scale meeting with my precinct soon, in order to discuss Equestria. In addition, depending on what course of action my boss takes, perhaps he may like to establish an alliance with your leader. Or leaders, if there's more than one of them. I, for one, am very interested in what Equestria has to offer and what it's all about, and I'm glad the feeling is mutual.

Finally -- and I feel I have to say this out of obligation to you as a unicorn and a potential visitor to our organization -- Odd Squad is rather known for eating unicorns. Please don't ask me why; they've been a delicacy here for longer than even I've been employed. But rest assured, you will be perfectly safe here. Not many agents eat unicorns, anyhow, and if any of them try to eat you, they'll have to deal with me. (And believe me, I'm stronger than this letter may make it out to be. Just wait until you meet me. I think you'll be pretty surprised at just what I'm capable of.)

Please make sure to get back to me as soon as pony-possible possible in regards to this letter, whether via response-response letter or via visit. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours in equality and normalcy,
Ms. O, Director of Odd Squad Precinct 13579

P.S.: Sorry for the pony pun. I couldn't help myself. Had to be done.

Author's Note

So a funny story ~~happened on the way to FIMFiction~~ about this one...

Reading through the Experimental sections of both iterations of this contest, I came to the conclusion that I'm not all that skilled at making something "experimental" that didn't also fit into, and qualify for, one of the other categories (my aim was to submit five stories with one in each category). So this is what I came up with. It's not the best -- the plot's a dead horse for me (pun unintended) and I've already submitted my obligatory Odd Squad crossover story for this contest -- but y'know, I tried, and it's better than not trying at all.

I'll probably revisit the whole "Starlight Glimmer visits the world of Odd Squad" concept sometime in the future...maybe as a sequel story to this one. But hopefully you enjoyed this to some extent or another.