Dafaddah's Box of Chocolatesby DafaddahChaptersIncognitoFamily TiesSongs from the Conversion BureauSon of Songs from the Conversion BureauThe Fission MagicianHearth's Warming Eve CarolsOn learning of Twilight's AscensionApril Foals' DayNOTKSFRFAVSPLSOde to a grecian wellFamous last words (dedicated to Robin Wiliams)The HerdMolasses CookiesCrossing OverSong of the randy roan mustangHappy BirthdayIncognitoSubmitted as part of the July Group Challenge of The Wirters' Group Prompt: Derpy is not who you think she is... Incognito by Dafaddah *** Derpy Hooves got home just in time to help prepare dinner. Her husband was already in the kitchen. He had gathered all the ingredients for one of his signature salads. This time he also had walnuts, maple syrup, lime juice, olive oil and freshly grated cinnamon. The aroma was already enticing, and he still had to toss everything together. So cute! she thought, as he banged about the kitchen in his apron, humming tunelessly all the while. She sidled up next to him, pressing close and feeling the warmth of his muscular body against hers. "You're in a good mood, my sweet." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. She frequently told him she found this irritating, but it usually left her smiling that special smile that she only had when she was really happy. This time was no different, he observed while together they set the table. "It was a good day. Not much mail, and I got a really great cupcake from Pinkie Pie," she said in her low voice. She poked him in the flank with a large wooden spoon and chuckled when he started. Then she licked him once behind the ear as a consolation. "And how was your day, Dr. Hooves?" she asked. The brown stallion finished laying out some bread and butter. "Oh same old, same old, I suppose. Saved the entire galaxy once, and Equestria at least twice, possibly thrice." Satisfied with the table setting he looked up and called out to their daughter: "Dinky, sweetie, Mommy's home and it's dinner time!" They took their places at the table as the sound of tiny hooves running rang through their cozy little house. The foal appeared a moment later, and threw herself into her mother, who picked her up and cradled her with a foreleg to her neck. "Mommy!" she said with foalish enthusiasm. Derpy revelled in the moment of closeness, which didn't last as Dinky started squirming. "Wow, something smells wonderful!" She plopped out of her mother's embrace and took her own place at the table. "Eat up honey. Daddy made a special salad today," said Derpy, serving her husband and their daughter before serving herself. The youngster immediately plunged her muzzle into her bowl, making happy eating sounds while her parents ate from their own bowls a bit more sedately. "So, how was school today, darling?" asked Derpy when her daughter had started to slow down a bit. "Mommy, you'll never believe what Cheerilee showed us. Did you know that the earth was round?..." The filly enthusiastically began describing her lessons as her parents listened attentively. Dinner was the family's favorite time, and today was no exception. *** Derpy and the Doctor had put Dinky to bed with a sweet little bedtime story about delivering mail to a Dalek planet. They went to their own bedroom, closing the door tight behind them. "This really was an excellent day, my dear, I wish they could all be so." There was a blue flash. "Yes, my love, it was. Our effort to give Dinky a normal foalhood is one of the best decisions we ever made, even if it can lead to some hectic moments." There was a violet flash. Celestia nuzzled Discord. "I love you!" she whispered, as they made ready for bed. Family TiesSubmitted as part of the September Group Challenge of The Wirters' Group Prompt:) I didn't tell you I'm related to... Family Ties by Dafaddah *** Twilight Sparkle and her favorite six friends were having a picnic. She was pretty proud of herself because this time she had included Spike in her friend tally, which she often didn’t, leading to some angst and a few rather costly anger management sessions for the little dragon. “Hey Spike, take out the cake, please.” Spike reached into the large basket he had laboriously dragged all the way from the treehouse. From it emerged a beautiful Sugarcube Corners Cream Cake, pre-cut into six perfect pieces. Spike looked down and started to cry. SIX PIECES! Darn, she’d done it again! “Eh, Spike, I thought we’d share a piece.” Spike looked at her, one eye twitching. “Oh, yeah. Sure, Twi.” The other ponies each eagerly grabbed their pieces and began eating noisily. “What’s the occasion Twilight? asked Pinkie Pie. “For some reason my great-aunt Tarantella decided to send me a gift certificate for a cake. I think it had something to do with the dancing lessons she gave me before my birthday party.” “She taught you that dance you did all night long, sugarcube?” asked AJ. “Naw! Her dancing was kinda weird. She just grabbed me tight and swung me around for a few hours. I didn’t learn a thing, but it made her real happy.” Everypony looked away. “Hey, maybe I should buy myself a cake!” said Pinkie, eyes wide. “Munfh. Why munfh a cake munfh self?” said Raibow Dash, crumbs falling all over Spike as she munched. “Because silly, I’m my own great aunt,” replied Pinkie Pie. “I know I will regret asking, but how is that possible Pinkie?” asked Rarity. “Well, You know that my sister Pumpkin is a lot younger than her husband, right?” All the ponies nodded. It had been quite the scandal. “But did you know that my sister is her own grand-ma?” said Pinkie. “Now, how in tarnation is that possible?” said AJ. “That’s because our ma married my sister’s step-son,” said Pinkie. “Now I’m confused,” said Twilight.” “Actually it was the justice of the peace at their weddings who was confused,” said Pinkie. “Come again, sugarcube.” “It’s simple really. My sister and my ma got married to a stallion and his son,” replied Pinkie. “A four way marriage? I heard that happens in the boonies,” commented Rarity. “No, silly, they didn’t all get married together. They all got a bit drunk the night before the wedding and the brides switched veils by mistake. He he, that was one of my BEST parties EVER!” “I still don’t get it,” said Twilight, feeling a headache coming-on. “They got the two couples confused. My ma married the colt, and my sister married the stallion. So I’m the stallion’s, sister-in-law. Therefore his son is my nephew. But my nephew is married to my mother, so he is my step-dad. And I’m my step-dad’s aunt, so ipso fatso, I am my own great aunt-in-law!” There was stunned silence, except for Rainbow Dash. “So, next week Pinkie’s buying the cake?” she enquired. “Yeah. Great idea,” said Rarity. “Twilight, I have a question.” said Fluttershy quietly. “Oh, yeah? What is it?” asked Twilight Sparkle. “What would have happened if it was a mother and son and a father and daughter that got confused on their wedding day?” Songs from the Conversion BureauI imagine some newfoals will have a harder time adjusting to life in Equestria than others. They might express it by modifying some songs from their human cultural heritage. I'm sure you know this one... The Foal on the Hill Day after day, Alone on a hill, The colt with the foalish grin is keeping perfectly still But nopony wants to know him, They can see that he's a newfoal, And he never gives an answer, The newfoal unicorn, Sees the sun going down, And the eyes in his head, See the world spinning 'round. Well on the way, Hooves on a cloud, Pegasus of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud But nopony ever hears her, or the sound she appears to make, and she never seems to notice, The newfoal pegasus, Sees the sun going down, And the eyes in her head, See the world spinning 'round. Nopony seems to like him, they can’t tell what he wants to do, and he never shows his feelings, The newfoal earth pony Sees the sun going down, And the eyes in his head, See the world spinning 'round. Ooh, ooh, Round and round and round. And he never listens to them, He knows that they're the foals They don't like him, The newfoals on the hill See the sun going down, And the eyes in their heads, See the world spinning 'round. Ooh, Round and round and round. What if the PER decided to try advertising as a tactic instead of potion lobbing... “Hey, didja hear? There’s a block party tonight!” “Oh, yeah? What’s the occasion?” “Somethin’ called the PER World Tour.” “Never heard of them.” “Me neither. But, hey, it’s free!” “They gonna have food?” “Yeah, but I hear they don’t eat meat, like veganitarians or somethin’!” “Man! Just my idea of a party: a bunch a HareKrishnas dancing in the streets.” “More like Hairy Krishnas, dude. These dogs are like ponies!” “Hey man, like everybody brags. Ha ha ha.” “Ha ha, shit, s’true!” “Listen up, the music’s startin’” Everybody is doin' a brand new dance, now Come on baby, do the Loco-potion I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance now Come on baby, do the Loco-potion You'll have no regrets if you do it with me You might even get wings or a horn you see So come on, come on, do the Loco-potion with me You gotta swing your flanks, now Come on, filly Jump up, jump back On all four hooves, I think you've got the knack Now that you can do it, let's make a chain, now Come on baby, do the Loco-potion A chug-a chug-a motion like a railroad train, now Come on baby, do the Loco-potion Do it nice and easy, now, don't lose control A little bit of rhythm and a lot of soul So come on, come on, do the Loco-potion with me Thrash around the floor in a Loco-motion Come on baby, do the Loco-potion Gonna lose them hands if you get the notion Come on baby, do the Loco-potion There's never been a dance that's so easy to do It even makes you green or pink or red or blue So come on, come on, do the Loco-potion with me I made this little ditty for Chat to cheer her up. Since the Antis were blaming her for everything (just like Canada in the South Park movie) I sent her this so she could turn those lemons into lemonade. If you've never heard the song please view to this first on YouTube, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxPRHXgYVlk&feature=youtube_gdata_player and then imagine it sung with the following lyrics: Time's have changed Folks desire to change species They won't preserve their human-ness They just want to be ponies Should we blame the government? Or blame society? Or should we blame the Conversion Bureaus? NO, blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance With her anti-human cries And pretty stories spreadin' lies Blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance We need to form a full assault It's Chatoyance's fault! Don't blame me For my son Herb He read "Teacup down on the farm" And now he's off to join the herd! And my boy Eric once Had my picture on his shelf But now when I see him he tells me to buck myself! Well, blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance It seems that everythings gone wrong Since Chatoyance came along Blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance Her stuff's only season one anyway My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer it's true Instead he converted and now won't touch barbecue Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire? Or the doctors who allowed him to drink potion? Heck no! Blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance With all her pony-hugger hubbabbalooo And that bitch Caprice too Blame Chatoyance Shame on Chatoyance The misanthropy must stop The Erlenmeyers we must smash Niceness and fun must all be undone We must blame her and cause a fuss Before someone thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusss Speaking of misanthropy... (Sung to the Burt Parks version of Miss America) THERE SHE IS, MISS ANTHROPY THE VERY PICTURE OF HUMAN GRACE AND WIT FOR EVERY TIME I SEE HER WALKING MY HEART IT GOES A THUMPING AND EVERY QUESTION ANSWERED SHE QUOTES JESUS AND GEORGE BUSH AND WISHES FOR WORLD PEACE FOR ALL MURICANS YES, THERE SHE IS MISS ANTROPY STUNNING IN HER BATHING SUIT AND HIGH HEEL SHOES OH SHE'S TOTALLY PRECIOUS A FOUNT OF WHOLESOME GOODNESS AND IF SHE WAS A PONY I'D CONVERT! And once in a while, we argue politely (cough, cough...) about the meaning of it all: There once was a Brony from Anti who got a big knot in his panty he huffed and puffed but his talk was all bluff till he blew a synapse HLF-ly! Some newfoals will also dearly miss some of their favourite things from our dear planet earth... Oh Kit-Kat, Savourer's delight! Slow in consumption, May thy sugar'd measures be. Foals all who toil, With lesser ephemeral confections. Their pleasures will be swift, and hollow, devoid of satisfaction. But they who partake of Kit-Kat know pleasure long and deep. And safe within thy fourfold limbs, find bliss alike a lover's kiss. ------------------////////- And now for a late entry from Aedina: I wrote this one for Taste of Grass (it didn't make the final edit, ah well) Upon Four Hooves by Aedina/Eldenath S. de Vilya Upon four hooves, I sweet grass tread Where once was devestation And flower'd meadows, verdant, spread Across my newfound Nation The bubble gate, which open’d doors Of hope, long cast aside Dismiss’d away all human mores And vanquished human pride A new beginning, second chance Was gifted to my ken Compassion for our circumstance: The plight of mortal men And those who had the sight to view Beyond all compass’d fear Traverse’d the dangers to pursue The better life found here Equestria, the Fairest Realm; Where dwells no earthly pain ~ Our Princesses are at its Helm May They, forever, reign Son of Songs from the Conversion BureauBronies have contributed ponified versions of their favourite songs and also original poems and songs. Many were in answer to these prompts. 1) What songs would the converted want to carry with them? 2) What would they celebrate? 3) What would they miss? 4) What about those forcibly ponified (for whatever reason) - would they have lyrical laments for their lost humanity (talk about an awesome album title!)? 5) What songs would former HLFers (that ended up ponified) likely sing? 6) How about former PER members? 7) And lets not forget: what human songs would likely be hits with native born equestrians, when suitably 'ponified'? Anypony interested in contributing can do so at the following thread: [url=[Songs]](https://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=26&thread=5113)[http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=26&thread=5113]Songs](https://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=26&thread=5113]Songs) of the TCB. By Dafaddah Here's a contribution just to show my age - seek out "Hello down there" on Youtube for a ' really different take on Richard Dreyfuss.' Also, in honour of Krass and his love of sea-ponies. Hey little sea-pony, Where ya' going to? Hey little sea-pony, Lemme swim along with you-hoo, Pretty sea-pony, We could have a whale of a time, mmmm Put your fin in mine! Oooo-oo-oo-ooooo-ooo The tide is in and it's getting dark out, there might be a shark out! mmm-mmmm But don't worry I'll hold you tight, The starfish will shine so bright, And everything will be alright! Hey little sea-pony, Where ya' going to? Hey little sea-pony, Lemme swim along with you-hoo, Pretty sea-pony, We could have a whale of a time, mmmm Put your fin in mine! Oooo-oo-oo-ooooo-ooo By Dafaddah How about some memorable pony commercial jingles? I wish I were a Sweet Apple Acres Apple That is what I'd truly love to be For if I were a Sweet Apple Acres Apple Everypony would be in love with me! With a name like Zapp Apple, it's got to be good! Oh they'll wonder where the yellow went, When you brush your coat with Brill-i-ant! By Jdgpanzer And for those wishing secondary conversion to seaponies. As a Seapony. (Check out In the Navy by the Village People - Ed.) Where can you find pleasure, search the world for treasure, No motorcars or technology, Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true On the beach or in the sea? Where can you learn to fly in water play or freedive, study oceanography? Sign up for the conversion or sit on the sidelines when the princesses see our vision. As a Seapony, yes, you can swim the seven seas. As a Seapony, yes, you can put your mind at ease. As a Seapony, come now ponies, make a stand. As a Seapony, can't you see we have no hands As a Seapony, come on, don't think we are phonies. As a Seapony, come on and join your fellow, ponies. As a Seapony, come on, ponies, and make a stand. As a Seapony , As a Seapony We want you! We want you! We want you as a new recruit! If you like adventure don't you wait to enter the conversion bureau fast. Don't you hesitate, there is no need to wait; they're signing up new equines fast. Maybe you are too young to join up today but don't you worry 'bout the thing for I'm sure there will be always the Sea Ponies protecting the beaches and reefs. As a Seapony, yes, you can swim the seven seas. As a Seapony, yes, you can put your mind at ease. As a Seapony, come now ponies, make a stand. As a Seapony, can't you see we have no hands As a Seapony, come on, don't think we are phonies. As a Seapony, come on and join your fellow, ponies. As a Seapony, come on, ponies, and make a stand. As a Seapony , As a Seapony We want you! We want you! We want you to convert ..But..but..but I'm afraid of water! ..hey..hey..look, ponies... I get seasick even seeing a painting of a ship! But I don't want to live in a shipwreck! By Alerhys I've obviously read too many of the Mankind Triumphant stories too close together, because I can see some worker with a taste for nostalgia spreading this one around the newly established farms: As I was patrolling the edge of the crop zone I spied me a Red worker strolling along His hood was throwed back and his keys were a-jingling And as he approached he was singing this song Yippie-ti-yi-yo Get along little newfoals It’s your misfortune and none of my own Yippie-ti-yi-yo Get along little newfoals You know that the work farm will be your new home Now early each week we round up all the perpboys We juice them and strip them and cut off their balls Wake them and cube them and clip on their halters And lead all them ponies out into their stalls Yippie-ti-yi-yo Get along little newfoals It’s your misfortune and none of my own Yippie-ti-yi-yo Get along little newfoals You know that the work farm will be your new home By Dafaddah This the first song that I wrote for Brony consumption. It's in chapter ten ofThe Vacation Crew. And is my own personal... Ode to the Princess of the Night She walks like beauty in the night, through stardust paths, in mystery. Clad in a veil of pale blue light, love's sidereal sanctuary. Her sparkling gems in endless flight, trace constellations wandering slowly. Each one a hero there to fight, seek truth, or love or justice holy. In her embrace there is no fright, safe from all toil and from worry. Our guardian on high to smite, Fear's illusions and darkest folly. For all who gaze upon the sight, do wonder at this ancient story. Feel in their hearts that all is right, To see the Moon in all her glory. The Moon's heart danced upon the sight, and shared the joy of every pony. Truly beloved was her night, So full of beauty and harmony. By Lord Chit Chat (The god-father of soul speaks! - Ed) Well, I made this a long time ago. Living in America - James Brown Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this! Super ways, place to place, easy to get anywhere On the transequestrian overload, just slide in the carriage How does it feel When there's no destination - that's too far And somewhere on the way, you might find out who you are Living in Equestria - eye to eye, city to city Living in Equestria - hoof to hoof, across the nation Living in Equestria - got to have a celebration Rock my soul Smokestack, hay bale, many miles of railroad track All night parties, keep on runnin' through your partying soul All night diners keep you awake, hey, on black coffee and a hard roll You might have to walk the fine line, you might take the hard line But everybody's bucking overtime Living in Equestria - eye to eye, city to city Living in Equestria - hoof to hoof, across the nation Living in Equestria - got to have a celebration I live in Equestria, help me out, but I live in Equestria, wait a minute You might not be looking for the promised land, but you might find it anyway Under one of those old familiar names Like Cloudsdale (Cloudsdale), Canterlot (Canterlot), Manehattan (Manehattan) Baltimare (Baltimare), Ponyville (Ponyville) Appleloosa (Appleloosa), Fillydelphia (Fillydelphia), Hoofington and L.P. Living in Equestria - hit me Living in Equestria - yeah, I walk in and out Living in Equestria I live in Equestria - nation lines, gonna make the prime, that I live in Equestria - hey, I know what it means, I Living in Equestria - hit me, I said now, eye to eye, city to city Living in Equestria - so nice, with your bare self Living in Equestria - I feel good! The Fission MagicianThe Fission Magician This is my entry to the End-of-October 255 event of the Conversion Bureau Group. (A 255 is a complete story told in 255 words minimum to 500 words maximum. Prompt: Your OC has changed tribe! Unicorn to Pegasus, Pegasus to Earth Pony, Earth Pony to Unicorn. How? Why? Did somepony do this on purpose or is it a fluke of magic? An Accident?) It all started with the potion going bad. Or with the birth of the earth pony Tim Bucktoo. Or with the big bang. None of those starting points are particularly wrong, but as the pony appointed to document these events I have chosen the first as requiring the least ink and effort on my part. Brevity is my thing. My record? Two words: "He sucks". That was a report on the world record aspirator Sakdip Hoover. I won an award for that one! Tim was a potion technician at the Tuscon Conversion Bureau. Last Thursday he went to administer potion to a prospective newfoal, tripped, landed under the table, and ended up pouring the potion all over himself. The human was sleeping off his 'hands-off' party of the night before. When Tim woke up things seemed normal enough, just bigger. Until he saw himself, or himselves to be precise. He now was not one but two tiny unicorn foals. Did I mention the potion was bad? It had a bug: internal communication between the nanites was limited. Not a problem if one drinks it down as per protocol, but when the potion fell it landed in two separate splotches. Each one tried to convert ol' Tim into a unicorn. They competed for the 'available materials' and ended up making two entire unicorns, each one foal sized. When Tim woke up, he was beside himself. Literally! (Ha ha! I love it when I sneak humor into these reports!) Okay, so the twin Tims (they each considered themselves the original) had another problem. Other than being foals again, they were also unicorns, and somehow their brains were magically linked so they thought exactly the same thoughts. As a consequence, they spoke in unison, which is very distracting as I can attest. I was the first on the scene and led the foals into the staff room, where everypony gathered to decide what to do. First things first: they needed names. We thought of calling them Tim One and Tim Two, but neither of them wanted to be Tim Two. Same for Buck One and Buck Two. Bookends was deemed insulting to twins. Someone else suggested calling them collectively 'the Borg'. We laughed till we cried! Then someone proposed to call them Stereo Left and Stereo Right. No go, even if it was still pretty funny! Finally we decided on 'The Timmies', who at this point had begun experimenting with their new-found magical capabilities, to the embarrassment of many of the mares present and the annoyance of all. Then somepony brought out muffins from the kitchen and we all ate and had a good time, including the Timmies. Two weeks later I asked how they felt about all of this. They commented (in stereo): "We're of two minds about it, but we think it has possibilities." The foals smiled and started to leave the room. "Where are you going?" I asked. "To the Casino" they replied. I guess that explains the twin red Corvettes in the parking lot. Hearth's Warming Eve CarolsHello all, As again we approach that special time of year, the ancient songs of Hearth's Warming Eve begin to ring in our heads and our hearts. Let us not forget these hallowed hymns to harmony, and celebrate them together here! To Ensure that these gems are not forgotten, I will create a special chapter in my Box of Chocolates for them - attributed to their transcribers, of course! (Please indicate in your own submission if you do not want me to do so, and I won't!) Happy Holidays, Dafaddah P.S. This isn't meant to offend anyone, only to provide songs for Hearth's Warming Eve based on well known (and loved) templates. I've sung these songs at Christmas time every year that I have in memory and they are very dear to me, so anything presented here will follow the "spirit of the holidays" as well as the Hearth's Warming Eve canon of MLP:FIM. P.P.S. as a first goody, here is the original Hearth's Warming Eve song: "A Circle of Friends" by Daniel Ingram The fire of friendship lives in our hearts As long as it burns we cannot drift apart Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few Laughter and singing will see us through (will see us through) We are a circle of pony friends A circle of friends we'll be to the very end... "We Three Foals of Equestria Are" by Dafaddah We three foals of Equestria are Bearing gifts we traverse afar Field and fountain, moor and mountain Following yonder star O Sun of wonder, Moon of night Star with royal beauty bright Homeward leading, still proceeding Guide us to thy Perfect Light A three-house built on Canterlot's plain A magical hearth's warming flame A roof and walls made of wind A place to grow and live in O Sun of wonder, Moon of night Star with royal beauty bright Homeward leading, still proceeding Guide us to thy Perfect Light Only song to offer have I In friendship voices are lifted high Prayer and praising, ponies raising Worship of harmony nigh O Sun of wonder, Moon of night Star with royal beauty bright Homeward leading, still proceeding Guide us to thy Perfect Light Glorious now behold the sunrise A new dawn opens for the three tribes Pegasus, unicorn and earth pony Equestria to heav'n replies O Sun of wonder, Moon of night Star with royal beauty bright Homeward leading, still proceeding Guide us to thy Perfect Light "The First Hearth's Warming Eve" by Dafaddah The First Hearth's Warming Eve, the mages did say Was to certain poor ponies in a cave as they lay In caves where they lay sharing their heat On a cold winter's night that was so deep. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony The winter had been cold, bitter and long Without food or comfort, they had only song So they sang in fellowship, sharing only one light And so it continued both day and night. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony Sharing only one light, they welcomed the morn Three Tribes did unite and our country was born To seek for Harmony was their intent To follow it together wherever it went. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony Together they planned and in Harmony sought A place for all ponies in Canterlot And there did Harmony both Pause and stay On the side of the mountain a city they laid. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony Then entered in those tribes three Pegasus, unicorn and earth pony And Equestria they declared Will forever be Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony Then let us all with one accord Banish all chaos and discord And together sing praise of Harmony With friendship, and kindness and charity. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony "Jingle Bells" by Dafaddah Dashing through the snow In a pony open sleigh O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way Bells on Starswirl ring Making spirits bright What fun it is to laugh and sing A sleighing song tonight Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride In a pony open sleigh, hay! Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Hold on tight, we ride tonight And sleigh our cares away! A day or two ago I thought I'd take a ride And soon Miss Daisy Bright Was seated by my side The sleigh-pony was new And blinded by the snow We got into a drifted bank And then he lost a shoe Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells... A pegasus came by He hitched up to the sleigh And soon Miss Daisy Bright Did let out such a neigh For the sleigh took to the air so far above the snow The sleigh-pony chased after us but he was much too slow! Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells... To ward away the cold, From a blanket did we peek, And soon Miss Daisy Bright Did kiss me on the cheek! We laughed and sang our songs As through the air we weaved We'd never had such fun before On a Hearth's Warming Eve! Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride In a pony open sleigh Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Hold on tight, we ride tonight And sleigh our cares away! Carol of Sweetie Belle's. by. MyHobby Seeing as this has references to modern-day characters... Perhaps it's a modern re-imagining? Hark! The tone knells Sing Sweetie Belle's Voice gently breaks "Everypony wakes! Hearthwarming's here Let me be clear All will share love E'er we can sup" Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong That is her song With happy ring All ponies sing One can now hear Notes of good cheer From every town From sky to ground Pumpkin and Pound Making the sound O'er hill and dale Joyfully wail Happily they sing While Sweetie rings Sounds of good cheer Hearthwarming's here Happy, Happy, Happy Hearthwarming's Happy, Happy, Happy Hearthwarmings On, on she calls All held enthralled Her wondrous song Sings everyone Hark! The tone knells Sing Sweetie Belle's Voice gently breaks "Everypony wakes!" Dong, Dong, Ding, Dong That is her song With happy ring All ponies sing One can now hear Notes of good cheer From every town From sky to ground Pumpkin and Pound Making the sound O'er hill and dale Joyfully wail Happily they sing While Sweetie rings Sounds of good cheer Hearthwarming's here Happy, Happy, Happy Hearthwarming's Happy, Happy, Happy Hearthwarmings Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong On learning of Twilight's AscensionA poem to Twilight Sparkle on learning of her Ascension: O winged Element Thou estate once common now elevated! An atmosphere rare wreaths thy head And set apace a new cadence. Wilt thy fellowship wane when that sixth so far above in far Canterlot will reign? Or will friendship's magic bind thy heart to Ponyville and the mares of its nights? Weep that not only dogfish guide thy flights but still thy tale follow bronies mortal, in multitudes undiminished. Tune in next season, and find out, mayhaps! April Foals' DayApril Foals' Day Oh day of Foals Of steadfast goals Where all opposites do swap When Google does it own bamboozle and snares a billion fops And best of all The trolls shut up And sulk in mute disgrace By amateurs Both young and old They're on this day displaced! NOTKSFRFAVSPLSThere once was a brony that went, "Thanks for favs gets me seriously bent!" So on his user page, I behaved like a sage, And a limerick that brony I sent! Ode to a grecian wellOf late I have been astounded and entertained, and have just learned a truck-full about writing by reading Through The Well of Pirene by Ether Echoes. Here's how I feel about this story: From leaf and stone, A path is forged To mend a heart Too often scorned. An' mercy speed The hearts to meet To right the wrong In love so sweet. Famous last words (dedicated to Robin Wiliams)Famous Last Words by Dafaddah Twilight stood in the rain, waiting for her turn to speak at the funeral. Her expression was grim. As head of state of the tiny Friendship Rainbow Kingdom, she was pretty much expected to speak at every funeral. She didn’t personally know the pony being buried today, a famous pegasus comedian and actor named Laughter Patch. Twilight had been a fan since she was a filly, unaware that he lived in Ponyville. Her only memories of him involved his comedy, hence her dilemma: everything she could possibly say about the stallion involved a joke, and funerals were no place for humor! To make matters worse he had not died a natural death. When she found out she felt guilty that a pony in kingdom had been so depressed and unhappy. Now she was minutes away from delivering a eulogy! She scanned the faces of the mourners. Many of Equestria’s most famous comedians and actors were present. A number of the mourners had square cards in one hoof and held a pen discretely in the other. Twilight took the lectern and swallowed. On it there lay another of those cards. She ignored it for the moment as she gazed out onto the crowd. “Like many ponies here I’ve known about Laughter Patch since I was very young. His passing –” several of the ponies with the cards made a scratch on them “– was as great a shock to me, as it was to ponies all over Equestria. He made so many of us laugh so often, it’s just kind of hard to think he won’t be here anymore.” More scribbling. Twilight glanced uneasily at the mourners with the cards. “The departure –” scratch “– of a leading light diminishes us all, only more so with such an untimely demise –” more scribbles... “NOW CUT THAT OUT!” Twilight shouted. “What’s the matter with you? This is a funeral! Somepony has come to the end of his life, –” scribbles “– a life of incredible achievements which should be celebrated, not mocked every time I use a euphemism for death!” Two more ponies scratched on their cards. Ashamed of her outburst, Twilight’s ears dropped. She took a breath as a roan coated pony approached, picked up the card on the lectern and held in front of her. She stared down at it. Dear Princess Twilight, Please read this out loud, because I certainly can’t. – LP PS - Don’t forget to use the past tense when you refer to me! Twilight blinked. “Apparently,” she said, “Mr. Patch wants... wanted me to read this to you.” My dear little ponies, Funerals tend to be boring things, with everypony clip-clopping around the issue at hoof: somepony died, in this case, me. To make the event more fun for all, I’ve sent many of you my official Bought-the-underground-condo Euphemism Bingo Cards. Fill in each slot as the eulogies roll by. The first with a full card shouts out Bingo and get a big ha-ha from me. Don’t worry about running out of euphemisms, I’m sure Princess Twilight, our own winged angel, has made a list that she can recite until somepony calls Bingo. (Go get’ em, Twi!) One more thing. Don’t be sad about me cashing-in my chips early. A certain degenerative disease would soon have made it impossible for me to make ponies laugh, and that just won’t do. Not for me, anyway. Laughing is how I hope you’ll always remember me. – Love from beyond, Laughter Patch Twilight put down the paper, tears in her eyes. Of course I’ve made a list, she thought.She could see it clearly in her head. The roan pony stood up. “Go-on then, call out the list!” “To die,” said Twilight hesitantly. “To expire. To pass on. To perish. To peg out. To push up daisies. To become extinct, deceased, demised, departed and defunct. Dead as a doornail. Breathed his last. The big sleep. Took the final curtain call...” her voice faltered. The roan stallion called out: “To check out.” Twilight added: “To shuffle off this mortal coil.” A deep voice said: “To head for the happy grazing ground.” Twilight spoke. ”To kick the bucket.” Somepony else in the crowd provided: “To buy the farm.” “Bingo,” said a mare at the front. Everything went still. Twilight stared at the mare, eyes wide. Then her expression softened. With a teary smile she said: “Ha-ha.” I took a while for Twilight to find her voice again. She didn't think any of the mourners minded the unusually long pause in her eulogy. So many of them were laughing and crying at the same time, anyway! Twilight wiped her eyes and gave them the time they needed to share their feelings. Finally, the ponies quieted down. “I guess as far as famous last words go, those were pretty good.” She left the lectern. Ponies smiled as she walked away. end - In loving memory of Robin. Author's Note I wrote this for the "Famous Last Words" writing contest, and then found when trying to submit that I was four hours too late (one should pay attention to time zone differences in such circumstances). Le Derp! So I decided to wait a few weeks to let the contest run its course and then share this with my readers. Anyway, this does sum up a lot of the feelings I have about Robin Williams' very untimely death. I keep imagining that maybe he wouldn't have been so depressed if only I would have had a chance to give him back even a fraction of the utter joy and laughter he's brought me over the last 40 years. If you feel the same, or even if you don't, please share your feelings in the comments. By the way, this story edited by TotallyNotaBrony and Sharp Logic. Thanks again, gents. The HerdThe following was in response – and gratitude to – Chatoyance in her final blog post to FIMfiction. Hello Chat, Here's a gift in return. I hope it will bring you a smile whenever you need one. Your friend Dafaddah. The Herd I remember the sweet song we sang, The hope in the heart become music and voice and dance, And though the rains came, Dark and roiling to hide the sun and the moon, Even then, The sun and the moon were always there, For they can never be taken away. So let's smile and sing even as the heavens rage, And dance in the puddles, For we are and we choose to be the children of the sun and the moon. The thunderheads can rage in vain and cast their shadows thinking they are real, They do not understand that which we know to be Truth: kindness, loyalty, generosity, honesty, laughter and magic, and the sweet taste of harmony that can only exist in the we, The I and the others, the gentle foals, the chorus, the symphony, the Herd. Molasses CookiesI still make my mother's molasses cookies every once in a while - usually around holidays. After she passed on I would make a batch before every family get together. My dad in particular loved them until he passed on as well. The smell of those molasses cookies are pretty much the closest I'll ever to that feeling of being in my childhood home. It's good to still have something that can do such magic for me, and to have a way for me to share the experience of who my parents were with others, even though they're gone. Crossing OverSubmission to the Flashfic July 2017 contest (150 word stories) =================== We two small souls await the twilight. When it comes we know not. In these inconstant days our vigil is made worse for having no measure. Every moment is an eternity and hope struggles, heaves for breath beneath the crushing unknown. We two small souls, weary of life made grey, shiftless, selfish, craven, mean of spirit, empty of laughter. Without cause life holds no purpose. A present without past has no compass, no direction, no future. Enough! We two small souls will tilt against the amorphous vast. We two, offered up, ephemeral certainty, an unforeseen foundation from which to cast down chaos and once again shed Harmony upon the land. One chance only we will have, when day ends and all shadows move, when two small shadows may hope to cross the chasm unseen. We two small souls await. And there is no avoiding this crossing, for this is war. Song of the randy roan mustangSong of the randy roan Mustang: a cautionary tail! By Dafaddah There once was a randy roan mustang, Whom fillies just simply adored, For indeed he had skill, Of the voice and the quill, And each day did that roan mustang score! His voice was like honey, his words where so funny, His verse cried 'O lost love of yore', He danced like a dream, His eyes how they gleamed, And each day did that roan mustang score! He roamed throughout Equestria, but was never alone, In every town shore to shore, Till he met a pink filly, Whose mane was all frizzy the roan mustang, he now wanted more! So he courted and pined, every night did he whine, At that corner confectionery store, But the pink mare was done, She wanted some fun, And she thought the poor mustang a bore! There once was a randy roan mustang, Whom the fillies had all adored, He left Ponyville fast, His first love was his last, Now he runs a used carriage store! Each and every night, when the moon is bright, He dreams of his lost paramour, Then he goes out on the town, where the fillies are found, And each day does that roan mustang score! Happy BirthdayTo MidnightShadow, whose stories I greatly admire and enjoy reading omn his brithday: You've gotten one year older, Your prose is getting bolder, Your toes are getting colder, Happy Birthday to you! Why waste angst on revolutions? Milestones are not evolution! Daily there's anticipation Happy Birthday to you! Now, you should feel quite important, On EQD the Hub leaves portants, Post your b-day, coincident, MLP year three will start, SO.... Happy Birthday, to you! (Yes - I did compose this just for your birthday. Inspiration happened!)
IncognitoSubmitted as part of the July Group Challenge of The Wirters' Group Prompt: Derpy is not who you think she is... Incognito by Dafaddah *** Derpy Hooves got home just in time to help prepare dinner. Her husband was already in the kitchen. He had gathered all the ingredients for one of his signature salads. This time he also had walnuts, maple syrup, lime juice, olive oil and freshly grated cinnamon. The aroma was already enticing, and he still had to toss everything together. So cute! she thought, as he banged about the kitchen in his apron, humming tunelessly all the while. She sidled up next to him, pressing close and feeling the warmth of his muscular body against hers. "You're in a good mood, my sweet." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. She frequently told him she found this irritating, but it usually left her smiling that special smile that she only had when she was really happy. This time was no different, he observed while together they set the table. "It was a good day. Not much mail, and I got a really great cupcake from Pinkie Pie," she said in her low voice. She poked him in the flank with a large wooden spoon and chuckled when he started. Then she licked him once behind the ear as a consolation. "And how was your day, Dr. Hooves?" she asked. The brown stallion finished laying out some bread and butter. "Oh same old, same old, I suppose. Saved the entire galaxy once, and Equestria at least twice, possibly thrice." Satisfied with the table setting he looked up and called out to their daughter: "Dinky, sweetie, Mommy's home and it's dinner time!" They took their places at the table as the sound of tiny hooves running rang through their cozy little house. The foal appeared a moment later, and threw herself into her mother, who picked her up and cradled her with a foreleg to her neck. "Mommy!" she said with foalish enthusiasm. Derpy revelled in the moment of closeness, which didn't last as Dinky started squirming. "Wow, something smells wonderful!" She plopped out of her mother's embrace and took her own place at the table. "Eat up honey. Daddy made a special salad today," said Derpy, serving her husband and their daughter before serving herself. The youngster immediately plunged her muzzle into her bowl, making happy eating sounds while her parents ate from their own bowls a bit more sedately. "So, how was school today, darling?" asked Derpy when her daughter had started to slow down a bit. "Mommy, you'll never believe what Cheerilee showed us. Did you know that the earth was round?..." The filly enthusiastically began describing her lessons as her parents listened attentively. Dinner was the family's favorite time, and today was no exception. *** Derpy and the Doctor had put Dinky to bed with a sweet little bedtime story about delivering mail to a Dalek planet. They went to their own bedroom, closing the door tight behind them. "This really was an excellent day, my dear, I wish they could all be so." There was a blue flash. "Yes, my love, it was. Our effort to give Dinky a normal foalhood is one of the best decisions we ever made, even if it can lead to some hectic moments." There was a violet flash. Celestia nuzzled Discord. "I love you!" she whispered, as they made ready for bed.
Family TiesSubmitted as part of the September Group Challenge of The Wirters' Group Prompt:) I didn't tell you I'm related to... Family Ties by Dafaddah *** Twilight Sparkle and her favorite six friends were having a picnic. She was pretty proud of herself because this time she had included Spike in her friend tally, which she often didn’t, leading to some angst and a few rather costly anger management sessions for the little dragon. “Hey Spike, take out the cake, please.” Spike reached into the large basket he had laboriously dragged all the way from the treehouse. From it emerged a beautiful Sugarcube Corners Cream Cake, pre-cut into six perfect pieces. Spike looked down and started to cry. SIX PIECES! Darn, she’d done it again! “Eh, Spike, I thought we’d share a piece.” Spike looked at her, one eye twitching. “Oh, yeah. Sure, Twi.” The other ponies each eagerly grabbed their pieces and began eating noisily. “What’s the occasion Twilight? asked Pinkie Pie. “For some reason my great-aunt Tarantella decided to send me a gift certificate for a cake. I think it had something to do with the dancing lessons she gave me before my birthday party.” “She taught you that dance you did all night long, sugarcube?” asked AJ. “Naw! Her dancing was kinda weird. She just grabbed me tight and swung me around for a few hours. I didn’t learn a thing, but it made her real happy.” Everypony looked away. “Hey, maybe I should buy myself a cake!” said Pinkie, eyes wide. “Munfh. Why munfh a cake munfh self?” said Raibow Dash, crumbs falling all over Spike as she munched. “Because silly, I’m my own great aunt,” replied Pinkie Pie. “I know I will regret asking, but how is that possible Pinkie?” asked Rarity. “Well, You know that my sister Pumpkin is a lot younger than her husband, right?” All the ponies nodded. It had been quite the scandal. “But did you know that my sister is her own grand-ma?” said Pinkie. “Now, how in tarnation is that possible?” said AJ. “That’s because our ma married my sister’s step-son,” said Pinkie. “Now I’m confused,” said Twilight.” “Actually it was the justice of the peace at their weddings who was confused,” said Pinkie. “Come again, sugarcube.” “It’s simple really. My sister and my ma got married to a stallion and his son,” replied Pinkie. “A four way marriage? I heard that happens in the boonies,” commented Rarity. “No, silly, they didn’t all get married together. They all got a bit drunk the night before the wedding and the brides switched veils by mistake. He he, that was one of my BEST parties EVER!” “I still don’t get it,” said Twilight, feeling a headache coming-on. “They got the two couples confused. My ma married the colt, and my sister married the stallion. So I’m the stallion’s, sister-in-law. Therefore his son is my nephew. But my nephew is married to my mother, so he is my step-dad. And I’m my step-dad’s aunt, so ipso fatso, I am my own great aunt-in-law!” There was stunned silence, except for Rainbow Dash. “So, next week Pinkie’s buying the cake?” she enquired. “Yeah. Great idea,” said Rarity. “Twilight, I have a question.” said Fluttershy quietly. “Oh, yeah? What is it?” asked Twilight Sparkle. “What would have happened if it was a mother and son and a father and daughter that got confused on their wedding day?”
Songs from the Conversion BureauI imagine some newfoals will have a harder time adjusting to life in Equestria than others. They might express it by modifying some songs from their human cultural heritage. I'm sure you know this one... The Foal on the Hill Day after day, Alone on a hill, The colt with the foalish grin is keeping perfectly still But nopony wants to know him, They can see that he's a newfoal, And he never gives an answer, The newfoal unicorn, Sees the sun going down, And the eyes in his head, See the world spinning 'round. Well on the way, Hooves on a cloud, Pegasus of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud But nopony ever hears her, or the sound she appears to make, and she never seems to notice, The newfoal pegasus, Sees the sun going down, And the eyes in her head, See the world spinning 'round. Nopony seems to like him, they can’t tell what he wants to do, and he never shows his feelings, The newfoal earth pony Sees the sun going down, And the eyes in his head, See the world spinning 'round. Ooh, ooh, Round and round and round. And he never listens to them, He knows that they're the foals They don't like him, The newfoals on the hill See the sun going down, And the eyes in their heads, See the world spinning 'round. Ooh, Round and round and round. What if the PER decided to try advertising as a tactic instead of potion lobbing... “Hey, didja hear? There’s a block party tonight!” “Oh, yeah? What’s the occasion?” “Somethin’ called the PER World Tour.” “Never heard of them.” “Me neither. But, hey, it’s free!” “They gonna have food?” “Yeah, but I hear they don’t eat meat, like veganitarians or somethin’!” “Man! Just my idea of a party: a bunch a HareKrishnas dancing in the streets.” “More like Hairy Krishnas, dude. These dogs are like ponies!” “Hey man, like everybody brags. Ha ha ha.” “Ha ha, shit, s’true!” “Listen up, the music’s startin’” Everybody is doin' a brand new dance, now Come on baby, do the Loco-potion I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance now Come on baby, do the Loco-potion You'll have no regrets if you do it with me You might even get wings or a horn you see So come on, come on, do the Loco-potion with me You gotta swing your flanks, now Come on, filly Jump up, jump back On all four hooves, I think you've got the knack Now that you can do it, let's make a chain, now Come on baby, do the Loco-potion A chug-a chug-a motion like a railroad train, now Come on baby, do the Loco-potion Do it nice and easy, now, don't lose control A little bit of rhythm and a lot of soul So come on, come on, do the Loco-potion with me Thrash around the floor in a Loco-motion Come on baby, do the Loco-potion Gonna lose them hands if you get the notion Come on baby, do the Loco-potion There's never been a dance that's so easy to do It even makes you green or pink or red or blue So come on, come on, do the Loco-potion with me I made this little ditty for Chat to cheer her up. Since the Antis were blaming her for everything (just like Canada in the South Park movie) I sent her this so she could turn those lemons into lemonade. If you've never heard the song please view to this first on YouTube, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxPRHXgYVlk&feature=youtube_gdata_player and then imagine it sung with the following lyrics: Time's have changed Folks desire to change species They won't preserve their human-ness They just want to be ponies Should we blame the government? Or blame society? Or should we blame the Conversion Bureaus? NO, blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance With her anti-human cries And pretty stories spreadin' lies Blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance We need to form a full assault It's Chatoyance's fault! Don't blame me For my son Herb He read "Teacup down on the farm" And now he's off to join the herd! And my boy Eric once Had my picture on his shelf But now when I see him he tells me to buck myself! Well, blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance It seems that everythings gone wrong Since Chatoyance came along Blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance Her stuff's only season one anyway My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer it's true Instead he converted and now won't touch barbecue Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire? Or the doctors who allowed him to drink potion? Heck no! Blame Chatoyance Blame Chatoyance With all her pony-hugger hubbabbalooo And that bitch Caprice too Blame Chatoyance Shame on Chatoyance The misanthropy must stop The Erlenmeyers we must smash Niceness and fun must all be undone We must blame her and cause a fuss Before someone thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusss Speaking of misanthropy... (Sung to the Burt Parks version of Miss America) THERE SHE IS, MISS ANTHROPY THE VERY PICTURE OF HUMAN GRACE AND WIT FOR EVERY TIME I SEE HER WALKING MY HEART IT GOES A THUMPING AND EVERY QUESTION ANSWERED SHE QUOTES JESUS AND GEORGE BUSH AND WISHES FOR WORLD PEACE FOR ALL MURICANS YES, THERE SHE IS MISS ANTROPY STUNNING IN HER BATHING SUIT AND HIGH HEEL SHOES OH SHE'S TOTALLY PRECIOUS A FOUNT OF WHOLESOME GOODNESS AND IF SHE WAS A PONY I'D CONVERT! And once in a while, we argue politely (cough, cough...) about the meaning of it all: There once was a Brony from Anti who got a big knot in his panty he huffed and puffed but his talk was all bluff till he blew a synapse HLF-ly! Some newfoals will also dearly miss some of their favourite things from our dear planet earth... Oh Kit-Kat, Savourer's delight! Slow in consumption, May thy sugar'd measures be. Foals all who toil, With lesser ephemeral confections. Their pleasures will be swift, and hollow, devoid of satisfaction. But they who partake of Kit-Kat know pleasure long and deep. And safe within thy fourfold limbs, find bliss alike a lover's kiss. ------------------////////- And now for a late entry from Aedina: I wrote this one for Taste of Grass (it didn't make the final edit, ah well) Upon Four Hooves by Aedina/Eldenath S. de Vilya Upon four hooves, I sweet grass tread Where once was devestation And flower'd meadows, verdant, spread Across my newfound Nation The bubble gate, which open’d doors Of hope, long cast aside Dismiss’d away all human mores And vanquished human pride A new beginning, second chance Was gifted to my ken Compassion for our circumstance: The plight of mortal men And those who had the sight to view Beyond all compass’d fear Traverse’d the dangers to pursue The better life found here Equestria, the Fairest Realm; Where dwells no earthly pain ~ Our Princesses are at its Helm May They, forever, reign
Son of Songs from the Conversion BureauBronies have contributed ponified versions of their favourite songs and also original poems and songs. Many were in answer to these prompts. 1) What songs would the converted want to carry with them? 2) What would they celebrate? 3) What would they miss? 4) What about those forcibly ponified (for whatever reason) - would they have lyrical laments for their lost humanity (talk about an awesome album title!)? 5) What songs would former HLFers (that ended up ponified) likely sing? 6) How about former PER members? 7) And lets not forget: what human songs would likely be hits with native born equestrians, when suitably 'ponified'? Anypony interested in contributing can do so at the following thread: [url=[Songs]](https://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=26&thread=5113)[http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=26&thread=5113]Songs](https://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=26&thread=5113]Songs) of the TCB. By Dafaddah Here's a contribution just to show my age - seek out "Hello down there" on Youtube for a ' really different take on Richard Dreyfuss.' Also, in honour of Krass and his love of sea-ponies. Hey little sea-pony, Where ya' going to? Hey little sea-pony, Lemme swim along with you-hoo, Pretty sea-pony, We could have a whale of a time, mmmm Put your fin in mine! Oooo-oo-oo-ooooo-ooo The tide is in and it's getting dark out, there might be a shark out! mmm-mmmm But don't worry I'll hold you tight, The starfish will shine so bright, And everything will be alright! Hey little sea-pony, Where ya' going to? Hey little sea-pony, Lemme swim along with you-hoo, Pretty sea-pony, We could have a whale of a time, mmmm Put your fin in mine! Oooo-oo-oo-ooooo-ooo By Dafaddah How about some memorable pony commercial jingles? I wish I were a Sweet Apple Acres Apple That is what I'd truly love to be For if I were a Sweet Apple Acres Apple Everypony would be in love with me! With a name like Zapp Apple, it's got to be good! Oh they'll wonder where the yellow went, When you brush your coat with Brill-i-ant! By Jdgpanzer And for those wishing secondary conversion to seaponies. As a Seapony. (Check out In the Navy by the Village People - Ed.) Where can you find pleasure, search the world for treasure, No motorcars or technology, Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true On the beach or in the sea? Where can you learn to fly in water play or freedive, study oceanography? Sign up for the conversion or sit on the sidelines when the princesses see our vision. As a Seapony, yes, you can swim the seven seas. As a Seapony, yes, you can put your mind at ease. As a Seapony, come now ponies, make a stand. As a Seapony, can't you see we have no hands As a Seapony, come on, don't think we are phonies. As a Seapony, come on and join your fellow, ponies. As a Seapony, come on, ponies, and make a stand. As a Seapony , As a Seapony We want you! We want you! We want you as a new recruit! If you like adventure don't you wait to enter the conversion bureau fast. Don't you hesitate, there is no need to wait; they're signing up new equines fast. Maybe you are too young to join up today but don't you worry 'bout the thing for I'm sure there will be always the Sea Ponies protecting the beaches and reefs. As a Seapony, yes, you can swim the seven seas. As a Seapony, yes, you can put your mind at ease. As a Seapony, come now ponies, make a stand. As a Seapony, can't you see we have no hands As a Seapony, come on, don't think we are phonies. As a Seapony, come on and join your fellow, ponies. As a Seapony, come on, ponies, and make a stand. As a Seapony , As a Seapony We want you! We want you! We want you to convert ..But..but..but I'm afraid of water! ..hey..hey..look, ponies... I get seasick even seeing a painting of a ship! But I don't want to live in a shipwreck! By Alerhys I've obviously read too many of the Mankind Triumphant stories too close together, because I can see some worker with a taste for nostalgia spreading this one around the newly established farms: As I was patrolling the edge of the crop zone I spied me a Red worker strolling along His hood was throwed back and his keys were a-jingling And as he approached he was singing this song Yippie-ti-yi-yo Get along little newfoals It’s your misfortune and none of my own Yippie-ti-yi-yo Get along little newfoals You know that the work farm will be your new home Now early each week we round up all the perpboys We juice them and strip them and cut off their balls Wake them and cube them and clip on their halters And lead all them ponies out into their stalls Yippie-ti-yi-yo Get along little newfoals It’s your misfortune and none of my own Yippie-ti-yi-yo Get along little newfoals You know that the work farm will be your new home By Dafaddah This the first song that I wrote for Brony consumption. It's in chapter ten ofThe Vacation Crew. And is my own personal... Ode to the Princess of the Night She walks like beauty in the night, through stardust paths, in mystery. Clad in a veil of pale blue light, love's sidereal sanctuary. Her sparkling gems in endless flight, trace constellations wandering slowly. Each one a hero there to fight, seek truth, or love or justice holy. In her embrace there is no fright, safe from all toil and from worry. Our guardian on high to smite, Fear's illusions and darkest folly. For all who gaze upon the sight, do wonder at this ancient story. Feel in their hearts that all is right, To see the Moon in all her glory. The Moon's heart danced upon the sight, and shared the joy of every pony. Truly beloved was her night, So full of beauty and harmony. By Lord Chit Chat (The god-father of soul speaks! - Ed) Well, I made this a long time ago. Living in America - James Brown Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this! Super ways, place to place, easy to get anywhere On the transequestrian overload, just slide in the carriage How does it feel When there's no destination - that's too far And somewhere on the way, you might find out who you are Living in Equestria - eye to eye, city to city Living in Equestria - hoof to hoof, across the nation Living in Equestria - got to have a celebration Rock my soul Smokestack, hay bale, many miles of railroad track All night parties, keep on runnin' through your partying soul All night diners keep you awake, hey, on black coffee and a hard roll You might have to walk the fine line, you might take the hard line But everybody's bucking overtime Living in Equestria - eye to eye, city to city Living in Equestria - hoof to hoof, across the nation Living in Equestria - got to have a celebration I live in Equestria, help me out, but I live in Equestria, wait a minute You might not be looking for the promised land, but you might find it anyway Under one of those old familiar names Like Cloudsdale (Cloudsdale), Canterlot (Canterlot), Manehattan (Manehattan) Baltimare (Baltimare), Ponyville (Ponyville) Appleloosa (Appleloosa), Fillydelphia (Fillydelphia), Hoofington and L.P. Living in Equestria - hit me Living in Equestria - yeah, I walk in and out Living in Equestria I live in Equestria - nation lines, gonna make the prime, that I live in Equestria - hey, I know what it means, I Living in Equestria - hit me, I said now, eye to eye, city to city Living in Equestria - so nice, with your bare self Living in Equestria - I feel good!
The Fission MagicianThe Fission Magician This is my entry to the End-of-October 255 event of the Conversion Bureau Group. (A 255 is a complete story told in 255 words minimum to 500 words maximum. Prompt: Your OC has changed tribe! Unicorn to Pegasus, Pegasus to Earth Pony, Earth Pony to Unicorn. How? Why? Did somepony do this on purpose or is it a fluke of magic? An Accident?) It all started with the potion going bad. Or with the birth of the earth pony Tim Bucktoo. Or with the big bang. None of those starting points are particularly wrong, but as the pony appointed to document these events I have chosen the first as requiring the least ink and effort on my part. Brevity is my thing. My record? Two words: "He sucks". That was a report on the world record aspirator Sakdip Hoover. I won an award for that one! Tim was a potion technician at the Tuscon Conversion Bureau. Last Thursday he went to administer potion to a prospective newfoal, tripped, landed under the table, and ended up pouring the potion all over himself. The human was sleeping off his 'hands-off' party of the night before. When Tim woke up things seemed normal enough, just bigger. Until he saw himself, or himselves to be precise. He now was not one but two tiny unicorn foals. Did I mention the potion was bad? It had a bug: internal communication between the nanites was limited. Not a problem if one drinks it down as per protocol, but when the potion fell it landed in two separate splotches. Each one tried to convert ol' Tim into a unicorn. They competed for the 'available materials' and ended up making two entire unicorns, each one foal sized. When Tim woke up, he was beside himself. Literally! (Ha ha! I love it when I sneak humor into these reports!) Okay, so the twin Tims (they each considered themselves the original) had another problem. Other than being foals again, they were also unicorns, and somehow their brains were magically linked so they thought exactly the same thoughts. As a consequence, they spoke in unison, which is very distracting as I can attest. I was the first on the scene and led the foals into the staff room, where everypony gathered to decide what to do. First things first: they needed names. We thought of calling them Tim One and Tim Two, but neither of them wanted to be Tim Two. Same for Buck One and Buck Two. Bookends was deemed insulting to twins. Someone else suggested calling them collectively 'the Borg'. We laughed till we cried! Then someone proposed to call them Stereo Left and Stereo Right. No go, even if it was still pretty funny! Finally we decided on 'The Timmies', who at this point had begun experimenting with their new-found magical capabilities, to the embarrassment of many of the mares present and the annoyance of all. Then somepony brought out muffins from the kitchen and we all ate and had a good time, including the Timmies. Two weeks later I asked how they felt about all of this. They commented (in stereo): "We're of two minds about it, but we think it has possibilities." The foals smiled and started to leave the room. "Where are you going?" I asked. "To the Casino" they replied. I guess that explains the twin red Corvettes in the parking lot.
Hearth's Warming Eve CarolsHello all, As again we approach that special time of year, the ancient songs of Hearth's Warming Eve begin to ring in our heads and our hearts. Let us not forget these hallowed hymns to harmony, and celebrate them together here! To Ensure that these gems are not forgotten, I will create a special chapter in my Box of Chocolates for them - attributed to their transcribers, of course! (Please indicate in your own submission if you do not want me to do so, and I won't!) Happy Holidays, Dafaddah P.S. This isn't meant to offend anyone, only to provide songs for Hearth's Warming Eve based on well known (and loved) templates. I've sung these songs at Christmas time every year that I have in memory and they are very dear to me, so anything presented here will follow the "spirit of the holidays" as well as the Hearth's Warming Eve canon of MLP:FIM. P.P.S. as a first goody, here is the original Hearth's Warming Eve song: "A Circle of Friends" by Daniel Ingram The fire of friendship lives in our hearts As long as it burns we cannot drift apart Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few Laughter and singing will see us through (will see us through) We are a circle of pony friends A circle of friends we'll be to the very end... "We Three Foals of Equestria Are" by Dafaddah We three foals of Equestria are Bearing gifts we traverse afar Field and fountain, moor and mountain Following yonder star O Sun of wonder, Moon of night Star with royal beauty bright Homeward leading, still proceeding Guide us to thy Perfect Light A three-house built on Canterlot's plain A magical hearth's warming flame A roof and walls made of wind A place to grow and live in O Sun of wonder, Moon of night Star with royal beauty bright Homeward leading, still proceeding Guide us to thy Perfect Light Only song to offer have I In friendship voices are lifted high Prayer and praising, ponies raising Worship of harmony nigh O Sun of wonder, Moon of night Star with royal beauty bright Homeward leading, still proceeding Guide us to thy Perfect Light Glorious now behold the sunrise A new dawn opens for the three tribes Pegasus, unicorn and earth pony Equestria to heav'n replies O Sun of wonder, Moon of night Star with royal beauty bright Homeward leading, still proceeding Guide us to thy Perfect Light "The First Hearth's Warming Eve" by Dafaddah The First Hearth's Warming Eve, the mages did say Was to certain poor ponies in a cave as they lay In caves where they lay sharing their heat On a cold winter's night that was so deep. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony The winter had been cold, bitter and long Without food or comfort, they had only song So they sang in fellowship, sharing only one light And so it continued both day and night. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony Sharing only one light, they welcomed the morn Three Tribes did unite and our country was born To seek for Harmony was their intent To follow it together wherever it went. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony Together they planned and in Harmony sought A place for all ponies in Canterlot And there did Harmony both Pause and stay On the side of the mountain a city they laid. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony Then entered in those tribes three Pegasus, unicorn and earth pony And Equestria they declared Will forever be Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony Then let us all with one accord Banish all chaos and discord And together sing praise of Harmony With friendship, and kindness and charity. Hearth's Warming Eve Hearth's Warming Eve Born is the land of Harmony "Jingle Bells" by Dafaddah Dashing through the snow In a pony open sleigh O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way Bells on Starswirl ring Making spirits bright What fun it is to laugh and sing A sleighing song tonight Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride In a pony open sleigh, hay! Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Hold on tight, we ride tonight And sleigh our cares away! A day or two ago I thought I'd take a ride And soon Miss Daisy Bright Was seated by my side The sleigh-pony was new And blinded by the snow We got into a drifted bank And then he lost a shoe Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells... A pegasus came by He hitched up to the sleigh And soon Miss Daisy Bright Did let out such a neigh For the sleigh took to the air so far above the snow The sleigh-pony chased after us but he was much too slow! Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells... To ward away the cold, From a blanket did we peek, And soon Miss Daisy Bright Did kiss me on the cheek! We laughed and sang our songs As through the air we weaved We'd never had such fun before On a Hearth's Warming Eve! Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride In a pony open sleigh Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Hold on tight, we ride tonight And sleigh our cares away! Carol of Sweetie Belle's. by. MyHobby Seeing as this has references to modern-day characters... Perhaps it's a modern re-imagining? Hark! The tone knells Sing Sweetie Belle's Voice gently breaks "Everypony wakes! Hearthwarming's here Let me be clear All will share love E'er we can sup" Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong That is her song With happy ring All ponies sing One can now hear Notes of good cheer From every town From sky to ground Pumpkin and Pound Making the sound O'er hill and dale Joyfully wail Happily they sing While Sweetie rings Sounds of good cheer Hearthwarming's here Happy, Happy, Happy Hearthwarming's Happy, Happy, Happy Hearthwarmings On, on she calls All held enthralled Her wondrous song Sings everyone Hark! The tone knells Sing Sweetie Belle's Voice gently breaks "Everypony wakes!" Dong, Dong, Ding, Dong That is her song With happy ring All ponies sing One can now hear Notes of good cheer From every town From sky to ground Pumpkin and Pound Making the sound O'er hill and dale Joyfully wail Happily they sing While Sweetie rings Sounds of good cheer Hearthwarming's here Happy, Happy, Happy Hearthwarming's Happy, Happy, Happy Hearthwarmings Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong
On learning of Twilight's AscensionA poem to Twilight Sparkle on learning of her Ascension: O winged Element Thou estate once common now elevated! An atmosphere rare wreaths thy head And set apace a new cadence. Wilt thy fellowship wane when that sixth so far above in far Canterlot will reign? Or will friendship's magic bind thy heart to Ponyville and the mares of its nights? Weep that not only dogfish guide thy flights but still thy tale follow bronies mortal, in multitudes undiminished. Tune in next season, and find out, mayhaps!
April Foals' DayApril Foals' Day Oh day of Foals Of steadfast goals Where all opposites do swap When Google does it own bamboozle and snares a billion fops And best of all The trolls shut up And sulk in mute disgrace By amateurs Both young and old They're on this day displaced!
NOTKSFRFAVSPLSThere once was a brony that went, "Thanks for favs gets me seriously bent!" So on his user page, I behaved like a sage, And a limerick that brony I sent!
Ode to a grecian wellOf late I have been astounded and entertained, and have just learned a truck-full about writing by reading Through The Well of Pirene by Ether Echoes. Here's how I feel about this story: From leaf and stone, A path is forged To mend a heart Too often scorned. An' mercy speed The hearts to meet To right the wrong In love so sweet.
Famous last words (dedicated to Robin Wiliams)Famous Last Words by Dafaddah Twilight stood in the rain, waiting for her turn to speak at the funeral. Her expression was grim. As head of state of the tiny Friendship Rainbow Kingdom, she was pretty much expected to speak at every funeral. She didn’t personally know the pony being buried today, a famous pegasus comedian and actor named Laughter Patch. Twilight had been a fan since she was a filly, unaware that he lived in Ponyville. Her only memories of him involved his comedy, hence her dilemma: everything she could possibly say about the stallion involved a joke, and funerals were no place for humor! To make matters worse he had not died a natural death. When she found out she felt guilty that a pony in kingdom had been so depressed and unhappy. Now she was minutes away from delivering a eulogy! She scanned the faces of the mourners. Many of Equestria’s most famous comedians and actors were present. A number of the mourners had square cards in one hoof and held a pen discretely in the other. Twilight took the lectern and swallowed. On it there lay another of those cards. She ignored it for the moment as she gazed out onto the crowd. “Like many ponies here I’ve known about Laughter Patch since I was very young. His passing –” several of the ponies with the cards made a scratch on them “– was as great a shock to me, as it was to ponies all over Equestria. He made so many of us laugh so often, it’s just kind of hard to think he won’t be here anymore.” More scribbling. Twilight glanced uneasily at the mourners with the cards. “The departure –” scratch “– of a leading light diminishes us all, only more so with such an untimely demise –” more scribbles... “NOW CUT THAT OUT!” Twilight shouted. “What’s the matter with you? This is a funeral! Somepony has come to the end of his life, –” scribbles “– a life of incredible achievements which should be celebrated, not mocked every time I use a euphemism for death!” Two more ponies scratched on their cards. Ashamed of her outburst, Twilight’s ears dropped. She took a breath as a roan coated pony approached, picked up the card on the lectern and held in front of her. She stared down at it. Dear Princess Twilight, Please read this out loud, because I certainly can’t. – LP PS - Don’t forget to use the past tense when you refer to me! Twilight blinked. “Apparently,” she said, “Mr. Patch wants... wanted me to read this to you.” My dear little ponies, Funerals tend to be boring things, with everypony clip-clopping around the issue at hoof: somepony died, in this case, me. To make the event more fun for all, I’ve sent many of you my official Bought-the-underground-condo Euphemism Bingo Cards. Fill in each slot as the eulogies roll by. The first with a full card shouts out Bingo and get a big ha-ha from me. Don’t worry about running out of euphemisms, I’m sure Princess Twilight, our own winged angel, has made a list that she can recite until somepony calls Bingo. (Go get’ em, Twi!) One more thing. Don’t be sad about me cashing-in my chips early. A certain degenerative disease would soon have made it impossible for me to make ponies laugh, and that just won’t do. Not for me, anyway. Laughing is how I hope you’ll always remember me. – Love from beyond, Laughter Patch Twilight put down the paper, tears in her eyes. Of course I’ve made a list, she thought.She could see it clearly in her head. The roan pony stood up. “Go-on then, call out the list!” “To die,” said Twilight hesitantly. “To expire. To pass on. To perish. To peg out. To push up daisies. To become extinct, deceased, demised, departed and defunct. Dead as a doornail. Breathed his last. The big sleep. Took the final curtain call...” her voice faltered. The roan stallion called out: “To check out.” Twilight added: “To shuffle off this mortal coil.” A deep voice said: “To head for the happy grazing ground.” Twilight spoke. ”To kick the bucket.” Somepony else in the crowd provided: “To buy the farm.” “Bingo,” said a mare at the front. Everything went still. Twilight stared at the mare, eyes wide. Then her expression softened. With a teary smile she said: “Ha-ha.” I took a while for Twilight to find her voice again. She didn't think any of the mourners minded the unusually long pause in her eulogy. So many of them were laughing and crying at the same time, anyway! Twilight wiped her eyes and gave them the time they needed to share their feelings. Finally, the ponies quieted down. “I guess as far as famous last words go, those were pretty good.” She left the lectern. Ponies smiled as she walked away. end - In loving memory of Robin. Author's Note I wrote this for the "Famous Last Words" writing contest, and then found when trying to submit that I was four hours too late (one should pay attention to time zone differences in such circumstances). Le Derp! So I decided to wait a few weeks to let the contest run its course and then share this with my readers. Anyway, this does sum up a lot of the feelings I have about Robin Williams' very untimely death. I keep imagining that maybe he wouldn't have been so depressed if only I would have had a chance to give him back even a fraction of the utter joy and laughter he's brought me over the last 40 years. If you feel the same, or even if you don't, please share your feelings in the comments. By the way, this story edited by TotallyNotaBrony and Sharp Logic. Thanks again, gents.
The HerdThe following was in response – and gratitude to – Chatoyance in her final blog post to FIMfiction. Hello Chat, Here's a gift in return. I hope it will bring you a smile whenever you need one. Your friend Dafaddah. The Herd I remember the sweet song we sang, The hope in the heart become music and voice and dance, And though the rains came, Dark and roiling to hide the sun and the moon, Even then, The sun and the moon were always there, For they can never be taken away. So let's smile and sing even as the heavens rage, And dance in the puddles, For we are and we choose to be the children of the sun and the moon. The thunderheads can rage in vain and cast their shadows thinking they are real, They do not understand that which we know to be Truth: kindness, loyalty, generosity, honesty, laughter and magic, and the sweet taste of harmony that can only exist in the we, The I and the others, the gentle foals, the chorus, the symphony, the Herd.
Molasses CookiesI still make my mother's molasses cookies every once in a while - usually around holidays. After she passed on I would make a batch before every family get together. My dad in particular loved them until he passed on as well. The smell of those molasses cookies are pretty much the closest I'll ever to that feeling of being in my childhood home. It's good to still have something that can do such magic for me, and to have a way for me to share the experience of who my parents were with others, even though they're gone.
Crossing OverSubmission to the Flashfic July 2017 contest (150 word stories) =================== We two small souls await the twilight. When it comes we know not. In these inconstant days our vigil is made worse for having no measure. Every moment is an eternity and hope struggles, heaves for breath beneath the crushing unknown. We two small souls, weary of life made grey, shiftless, selfish, craven, mean of spirit, empty of laughter. Without cause life holds no purpose. A present without past has no compass, no direction, no future. Enough! We two small souls will tilt against the amorphous vast. We two, offered up, ephemeral certainty, an unforeseen foundation from which to cast down chaos and once again shed Harmony upon the land. One chance only we will have, when day ends and all shadows move, when two small shadows may hope to cross the chasm unseen. We two small souls await. And there is no avoiding this crossing, for this is war.
Song of the randy roan mustangSong of the randy roan Mustang: a cautionary tail! By Dafaddah There once was a randy roan mustang, Whom fillies just simply adored, For indeed he had skill, Of the voice and the quill, And each day did that roan mustang score! His voice was like honey, his words where so funny, His verse cried 'O lost love of yore', He danced like a dream, His eyes how they gleamed, And each day did that roan mustang score! He roamed throughout Equestria, but was never alone, In every town shore to shore, Till he met a pink filly, Whose mane was all frizzy the roan mustang, he now wanted more! So he courted and pined, every night did he whine, At that corner confectionery store, But the pink mare was done, She wanted some fun, And she thought the poor mustang a bore! There once was a randy roan mustang, Whom the fillies had all adored, He left Ponyville fast, His first love was his last, Now he runs a used carriage store! Each and every night, when the moon is bright, He dreams of his lost paramour, Then he goes out on the town, where the fillies are found, And each day does that roan mustang score!
Happy BirthdayTo MidnightShadow, whose stories I greatly admire and enjoy reading omn his brithday: You've gotten one year older, Your prose is getting bolder, Your toes are getting colder, Happy Birthday to you! Why waste angst on revolutions? Milestones are not evolution! Daily there's anticipation Happy Birthday to you! Now, you should feel quite important, On EQD the Hub leaves portants, Post your b-day, coincident, MLP year three will start, SO.... Happy Birthday, to you! (Yes - I did compose this just for your birthday. Inspiration happened!)
