Bed Bug

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Slice of Life, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person
Length: 3094

You have a little bit of a bug problem. At least, that's what your friends tell you. Personally, you think she's quite charming.

For a human that ended up in an alien world full of talking ponies, you've been living a surprisingly boring life. Sure, you have friends and go on adventures and stuff, but you don't really have a "purpose" per se. At least, you didn't until about a month ago, when a "heinous villain" that had been turned to stone went missing from Canterlot. Now, there's a washed-up queen crashing in your basement and stealing your love.

If only you could get her to admit that she doesn't actually steal it from you.

Published 2023-06-22 23:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-06-22 23:00:01 UTC

Bed Bug

"Hey, what do you want for dinner? We've got ramen and bagel bites."

"I hate you."

"Ramen it is."

Chrysalis glares at you from the living room sofa. It has certainly been an interesting month, that's for sure.

It was all over the papers. "The Heinous Queen Chrysalis Escapes from Stone Imprisonment!" As far as Canterlot was concerned, there was panic in the streets. One of the most reviled figures in Equestrian history, who had been turned to stone and put on display in the Canterlot Castle garden alongside two of her former conspirators for her crimes, suddenly went missing. Being the changeling that she is, she's capable of shapeshifting into an identical copy of anycreature she finds, and she was sure to use this power to bring Canterlot to its knees!

...Of course, that didn't end up happening. Without any backup, attempting to do so would be a one-way trip back to stone city for her. Instead, she fled from Canterlot entirely, disappearing to who knows where. Meanwhile, you were continuing to live your shockingly normal life in Ponyville.

You've been in Equestria for a good few years now. A freak accident ended up landing you face-first in a fountain in Ponyville. There were some misunderstandings and some panic and... well, long story short, it was an ordeal. Luckily, there was a group of mares in Ponyville that were willing to take you in and accept you as one of their own. Together, you went on a lot of adventures learning about the magic of friendship.

But nowadays, there isn't much "adventuring" left for you to do. Equestria is in a state of peace. Your closest friend, Twilight Sparkle, is now the ruler of Equestria. You run a small store down the street from your house, and you occasionally work as a substitute at the School of Friendship. All in all, despite the fact that you're an alien in this world, you've fallen into a somewhat predictable routine. Oh, well. This peace is what all true warriors strive for, or whatever.

Then one day, you came home to find your front door unlocked. That was... weird. When you walked inside, you could have sworn you heard something shuffling about in the darkness before going quiet. Now convinced there was an intruder, you called out into the house trying to let whoever was inside know that you meant no harm. Back in your old world, an intruder would be a big deal and a reason to be alarmed. In Ponyville, an intruder means that either Pinkie Pie is doing Pinkie Pie stuff, or someone is legitimately in desperate need. Who are you to turn a blind eye to that?

A quick search around the house led to you entering your basement. Upon doing so, you were quickly pounced on from a blind spot and brought to the ground with a thud. Standing above you was Queen Chrysalis, the ex-ruler of the Changeling Kingdom. Her eyes darted back and forth as though she was panicking, and she promptly opened her jaw wide. You winced and closed your eyes, knowing exactly what she planned to do but not knowing what it would feel like to experience it. After a few seconds, you forced one eye open. You didn't feel anything at all. What you saw was an equally surprised Chrysalis, her mouth still open, and a strange pink essence floating off of you and into her mouth. Being the dark changeling that she is, Chrysalis feeds on love, and she is known for forcibly taking it from others. Yet, as far as you knew, the process was supposed to more or less slowly kill you, and that didn't seem to be happening. That didn't stop her from holding you to the ground and continuing her feeding, however.

About a minute later, she closed her mouth and looked down at you quizzically. For your part, you struggled a bit in her grasp. You broke free easier than you thought you would, though that was likely because she wasn't putting her all into holding you down anymore. You flexed your arms and took a deep breath. ...Yeah, you felt fine. If anything, you felt kind of nice, like you just got a massage or something. But, that meant that the two of you were left sitting there in your basement just kind of... awkwardly staring at each other.

"Sooooo... why are you in my basement?"

Rather than respond, she tried to make a break for it. That said, you were in-between her and the door, and with a quick movement you slammed it shut.

"I'd ask if you're finally ready to accept friendship into your life, but I have a feeling that-"

"Silence! I will destroy you!"

A green, magical energy collected in her horn. She wound herself up for a moment before letting out a blast in your direction. You simply stood there with an unimpressed look on your face as the green magic overtook your body. She relented after a few seconds, revealing your completely unharmed visage still standing in front of the door in the process. She wasn't aware that you're naturally resistant to most forms of magic. Go figure.

"Look, I like to think I'm a pretty reasonable guy. We can still talk this out."

"I have nothing to say to a freak like you!"

"No offense, but aren't you the one who was exiled by her own people? Do you really have much room to be talking trash about me?"

"Sh-shut up! Don't you DARE try to compare yourself to me!"

"...Well, that sucks."

"What? That your death is imminent?"

"No. I was just hoping we could solve this amicably. I always had hope for you, you know. I didn't really get a chance to say it last time since I was busy trying to not get mauled by Tirek, but my point still stands."

"Do not speak that wretch's name around me! And of course you were hoping for an amicable solution. The alternative is your annihilation!"

"Can you please stop shouting? It's just the two of us. In my basement. It's not that big a deal. And besides, I meant that I was really hoping you would see the light. You know, become a good guy. Learn about friendship. This is, what, your fourth, maybe fifth time failing to conquer Equestria? What do you even have left?"

"Y-you know nothing! I am more than capable of bringing Equestria to its knees all on my own!"

You sighed, doing your best to hide the cocky grin that was fighting for dominance on your face.

"I guess I'll just have to go get Twilight, then."

"H-huh?!"

"She's pretty much my closest friend, you know. I was really hoping we could just talk this out, but if you insist on continuing down this path, I'll do what I must to protect those I care about."

If looks could kill, you would have dropped dead then and there. The cold rage visible in her eyes made it clear how she felt about your little ultimatum. You had her in the palm of your hand. And more than that, you had a plan. Was it a good plan? Probably not. But it was a plan all the same.

"...Fine. Let's talk."

And so, here you are about a month later. You were, of course, only somewhat true to your word. You still told Twilight about Chrysalis, but not as a means of getting Chrysalis back into custody. Quite the opposite, actually. Instead, you informed Twilight that you and Chrysalis had struck a deal. She could live in your house with all of her expenses paid and feed on enough of your love to sustain herself. In return, she would stop... well, you know. Being a villain or whatever.

This plan led to a couple of strange complications. First, a surprising discovery was made concerning your alien body. On top of resisting most forms of magic, you can apparently produce a near-infinite amount of love without growing tired. That explains why Chrysalis's little "draining sesh" didn't have much of an effect on you. Second, Chrysalis is really, really stubborn. If it isn't obvious, your plan hinges on the idea that Chrysalis will warm up to you and your friends over time, eventually learning that friendship really is magic in the process. What actually happened was the ex-queen essentially becoming a couch potato. She has yet to leave your house. Once.

But hey, she does like you. She just doesn't like to show it.

While you wait for your dinner to finish, you wander over to the living room once more and lean against a wall. Chrysalis is currently curled up on the corner of your sofa, looking extremely bored as she skims through one of your books, "The Infinite and the Divine." You chuckle to yourself as you attempt to make conversation with the big bug.

"How did you end up in my basement, of all places?"

She responds with an uninterested tone, not looking up from her book as she does so.

"Too many ponies out and about. Couldn't find a place to shapeshift without being seen. Your door was unlocked. Basements are cold and damp. Seemed perfect to me."

"Hah! And now you've got me making dinner for you."

"My 'dinner' will be when I feed on your love later tonight. I do not need the same type of sustenance that you stupid humans and ponies do. Why do you keep making food for me?"

"They say sharing a meal with someone is one of the best ways to improve your bond with them."

"Oh, and you want me to bond with you? Hm?"

"Yup."

Rather than continue your sarcastic back-and-forth like you normally do, you give her a completely straight answer. The notion catches her off guard, forcing her to finally look up from the book at you. You grin at her.

"..."

"I have to have love for you to be able to actually give it to you, right? Is having dinner with me so painful that you'd rather try and steal love from someone who doesn't want to share it?"

"W-well, that's..." She closes her eyes and groans, the slightest of blushes making its way to her face. "Do not act like you're some saint. You give me love to prevent me from doing terrible things to those ponies you care so much about. This is a deal, nothing more."

"I don't know, seems like a win-win to me. I quite like being in love with you, I think."

Her blush deepens much more, and she tries to cover it with her book.

"Y-you are not 'in love' with me, you are SHARING your love with me. Those are two very different things!"

"I think you'll find that I'm doing both at the same time."

She chucks the book at your head with telekinesis. You may be resistant to magic, but having a book flung at you still hurts.

"Just go finish your stupid ramen."

"Whatever you say, your majesty." You add a cocky, sarcastic flair to that last part as you give a playful bow. She groans again and rolls her eyes before magically picking her book back up while you return to the kitchen. Luckily for you, the ramen is indeed done.

Dinner begins about the same as always. You've already established that she has to eat at the dinner table with you (as your mother used to say, "like a darn family for once!"), much to her chagrin. Plus, the two of you have already made this your new routine, and she no longer complains. You both eat your ramen in relative silence until, shockingly, she speaks up, never looking up from her food when she does.

"So... how was your day?"

You look at her with bewilderment. There's... no way she actually asked that, right? Even if you know what her true feelings are, she never outright expresses those feelings, especially to you. From her, a question like that is unheard of.

"Are... are you feeling okay?"

She finally looks up from her ramen with a confused expression.

"...What?"

"I-I just wasn't expecting you to ask me that."

She begins to blush slightly and starts getting defensive (to the surprise of no one).

"S-silence! It is only natural for a queen to stay informed about the well-being of her subjects. Despite what you and those ponies may say about me, I am not a complete monster."

"I don't think you're a monster."

"..."

"Heh, and I guess I've been promoted to a 'subject' now?"

With a huff, she lifts a fork full of ramen to her mouth again before mumbling beneath her breath.

"Well excuse me for trying."

You look at her for a moment. You can't stop a warm smile from reaching your face.

"My day was nice. A few schoolkids came into the store today. I think they were bored or something, but it was fun to see them getting into their antics. It's a nice change of pace. ...Thank you for asking. How was your day?"

Chrysalis blinks as she attempts to act aloof, apparently straining herself to keep her attention on the ramen.

"Same as every other day. Made my new hive a bit more comfortable. Took a nap on the couch. Scared a few mares by staring at them menacingly through the window. The usual."

"Speaking of, when are you going to let me see this 'hive?' Isn't it MY basement?"

"Not so long as we have our deal."

"...Okay then."

You're going to choose to respect her privacy. It's easier to build respect that way. You suppose that it's technically possible she's hiding victims down there or something, but you like to think that you trust her enough to not entertain such ideas.

"Will you be going to bed soon?"

"I... wasn't really planning on it. Why?"

She finally looks you in the eyes, the blush in her cheeks barely visible.

"I was hoping to discuss that book with you. Er, that is... you WILL debate the contents of that book with me!"

"...I think I'd like that."

A few hours later, you enter your bedroom, get comfortable, switch the light off, and climb into bed. As your head rests on your comfortable pillow and you feel your eyelids grow heavy, you know that your rest won't last for long. As if on cue, you hear your bedroom door gently creak open, followed by the quiet buzzing that could only be caused by Chrysalis's wings. She's extremely quiet - nearly silent - as she masterfully lands atop your bed and begins to feed on your love. Although you have your head turned away, you can't help but smile.

This technically wasn't a part of the deal so much as a request from her. She insists that in order to properly "savor" her meals, she requires a decent amount of time to feed "properly," and because she is too embarrassed to do so with her "victim" actually willing to look her in the eye and give it to her, she ~~requested~~ demanded that she feed while you're asleep. You really didn't see the harm in doing so and thus agreed, but unbeknownst to her, the process never fails to wake you up.

In a familiar sensation, you feel your body begin to relax as some of your love is consumed by the changeling. This process typically takes her close to ten minutes, and in that time she has a tendency to begin relaxing herself. She will usually get gradually more comfortable, eventually laying herself down right alongside you. You'll finally fall asleep, and she'll be back in the basement by the time you wake up in the morning. Of course, she only does all of this assuming you're asleep in the first place and unaware that she is doing it. Today is no exception, and after some time, you feel her bring her feeding session to an end. She lets out a contented sigh as she lies down against your back. Her head rests on the other pillow, and you can feel her breath on the back of your neck. It's a pleasant feeling, despite how bony and strange her changeling body is. You've never dared to disturb her out of fear of her not doing it again.

...Eh, screw it.

In one motion, you roll over, grab the sheet she's lying on top of, pull it out from under her, and throw it over her form.

"Wh-wha?!"

Before the sheet can settle over her body, you wrap your arms around her and pull her into a tight hug. In the process of doing this, you never once open your eyes or change your rate of breathing. If you play your cards right...

"What are you doing?!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

When she speaks again, her voice is barely a whisper.

"There is no way you did that in your sleep!"

"..."

"...Ugh."

To your surprise, you feel her front legs wrap around your torso. Her back legs tuck in-between your own legs, and her tail wraps around your right calf. Finally, you feel her nuzzle her face into your neck, her horn sliding beneath your head in the process. You can tell that her face is flushed by the heat coming off of it, and her breath on the top of your chest makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You risk tightening your grip on her ever so slightly, and she lets out the tiniest of moans as you do so. This poor girl has been starved for affection for far too long, hasn't she? Er, no pun intended.

A few moments later, you hear a gentle snore start to come out of your bed bug, causing you to smile to yourself. You've never once tried to hide the fact that you love her, but the same cannot be said for her. However, it's at times like these that you're reminded of the fact that the feeling is very much mutual, even if she struggles to show it. It's going to be some time before you get her to completely open up to you, but for now?

For now, you're okay with this.

Author's Note

Yup, I finally gave everyone's favorite lovebug some attention. It won't be the last time, either. :raritywink:

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!