Author's Note
What happens if I...
The First
Last night. I had a dream.
I dreamt I had stepped away from the dirty hole in the ground, the hole in which I use to sleep in and that outside stood a pony, staring directly into my eyes. Cautiously I approached. He blinked reaching his hoof towards me. Together, me and the pony with the dark blue mane and dark blue eyes, walked. I didn't know to where and I didn't know with who, but we did.
Then I awoke from my dream and came into the same little world I have come to know.
I've never had friends or family or really anyone by my side. I've always been drifting through the wind, just there and existing. I don't know where I come from or why I'm here, but all my life I've lived in a hole. The hole is what I've come to know. It's not like I've experienced anything greater. I sleep in the hole. I breathe in the hole. I learn important things about myself in this hole.
Across the way, perhaps a couple minutes of walking distance from my hole is a town filled to the brim with ponies of all kinds. There have been a few times where ponies have found this hole, peeked through, but I always make sure to remain hidden inside. I've always wondered what goes on in that town and I think today will finally be that day I put those wonders to rest.
Like I said before, I have learned things about myself, a skill that will be most useful. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who can do it, but that doesn't matter. An intense breath in the form I know all too well I take. In the hole I am myself. I step out and morph into the form of a pony that had visited my hole once before. I remember his name to be Braeburn. I steal his identity, making my way forward to the town that has eluded me for so long.
My eyes shift in all directions admiring the accommodating scenery of the town. So many different colors of pink and brown and green and yellow. So many houses varying from large or small or ginormous or tiny. So many different ponies with personalities, with dreams, with hopes, with ambitions, with friends, with families.
I don't know how to feel, but then something catches my eye. A yellow mare with a silky pink mane, partially being covered by a big bandage. Her expression seems fake and plastered on lazily. Another pony that had visited my hole once before. I let curiosity consume me and follow her until she finds her way home. After a while I see her slip into her house and slowly I set myself right next to the door. I knock and I wait until she answers the door.
"Braeburn? What are you doing here?"
"Well, Howdy do, Miss Fluttershy! I was just strolling about the town and happen to see you around. Say, what's up with the big bandage on your forehead?" I speak in the shape shifted form I chose.
"Oh, um. Let's just say me and Discord are going through a rough patch."
"He didn't hurt you did he?"
"...Why don't you come in for tea?"
Slowly I step into the home of the pegasus. The scenery seems to be nothing like the glorious and clean outside of the cottage, instead it's replaced by a unwavering stench complimenting the run down, grimy insides of the house. I take a seat, as well as her. A small bunny hops onto her lap.
"Soo... what's been going on with you Fluttershy?"
"I met someone new recently. She's super kind, like me. And super energetic... not like me."
"Sounds great! Though, I have to say, you don't seem to be doing so well Fluttershy."
"I'm fine, don't worry about me!"
"Now I know a filled up well when I see one. I know you got something on your mind-"
My sentence is interrupted by another pony that walks through the door.
"Oh my goodness, Fluttershy you didn't tell me you were going to have a friend over! That's amazing!" The mare from the door speaks.
She pulls out a different chair for herself to sit on.
"I didn't really expect him to show up today, but that's besides the point. Twisty, this is Braeburn. Braeburn this is Twisty."
The mare I now know to be Twisty takes a thorough look at me... through me. She pulls Fluttershy in close and begins to speak quietly with her. All I'm able to make out between the garbled up speech of the two is "Discord" and "shapeshifting." The yellow mare approaches me.
"Braeburn, I'm sorry we have to cut this visit short, but we have some thing to talk about in private. Maybe we can meet again some other time?"
I give out a smile of confusion and as swiftly as I entered, I'm back outside ready to face the public once again. I would say it was a good learning experience for me. I never knew ponies were so secretive and in need of so much help.
My eyes open to the trashy scenery that is a back alley. I'm still in the form of Braeburn ready to transform into what seems fit. My brain goes every which way wondering what to turn into, same as my eyes effectively wandering around the area. Then, something happens. My eye catches onto a tiny little bug. The bug drags my eyes, forcing me to stare upon it.
It just sits there, like it's thinking. Thinking of what to do next. It won't stop, it won't. It can't. What does it want? Why is it here? The slimy tendrils of its body reaches out for me, as its mouth starts to open wide. Like anyone would do in this situation, I pick a body and run away. Now outside of the alley, it's back to me against the public in the body of a dragon. A light blue kind of dragon, by the name of Ember. I remember a pegasus describing the creature in front of my hole.
I think nothing of it, until a whole plethora of ponies swam over me, barraging me all sorts of questions.
"Ember, as the dragon lord, what makes you visit the town of Ponyville when there is such a massive problem going around in the Dragon Lands?" One pony says.
"Do you think the problem will spread all around Equestria?"Another one questions.
"Have you spoken to Twilight about it? Should Celestia and Luna be worried about it?" The final pony asks hopeful.
I haven't the foggiest idea of what they are talking about. Is this what ponies do? Worry about random problems? Still, I feel the need to at least comfort whoever these ponies are, as the dragon lord they know.
"Everyone, stop talking! I don't know what you ponies are on about, but don't worry! Everything is under control!" I shout.
The crowd won't budge, but I'm a dragon... I believe I can make them budge. I take in a substantial breath, letting my jaw drop down. Then, will all the fire in me I burst out a mighty flame up into the air making the crowd around me disperse and leave me in peace... except for one, who stares at me with shining eyes and expanded pupils. A tiny orange filly filled with large amount of energy to spare.
"Hi! I'm Scootaloo. I heard you were pretty cool and impressive from Rainbow Dash. She's been teaching me how to fly, but right now she's doing something off with the Wonderbolts. I need someone cool like her to give me my daily training and it's not like Apple Bloom, Sweetiebelle or even Babs Seed can do that. Can you teach me how to fly? You got wings."
Apple Bloom? Sweetiebelle? Babs Seed? A feeling nags at me telling me not to interact any further, to just leave. However, this intrigues me. I, myself don't know how to fly, but perhaps I could give pointers from the ground and learn somethings myself about the world these creatures live in.
"Sure. Show me what you got little one."
The filly flaps her wings at a rapid pace and it was at this moment I had realized how small her wings truly were. Slowly she begins to lift herself up from the ground barely making it upward anywhere.
"Woah, woah, woah. Stop, just stop."
"But, I haven't shown you my ultra flying trick yet..."
"Your wings are way to tiny and moving way to fast. Here, walk with me."
The two of us walk through the streets of the town. It starts off silent, but with any good conversation it starts with a question.
"What makes you want to fly? You seem kind of bad at it."
"I'm just a beginner that's all."
"You didn't answer the question."
"Well I- I just do!"
"Hmmm. Fair enough, I guess." I think for a second wondering what kind of advice I could give.
"Have you ever considered using emotion to help you fly?"
"What do you mean?"
"Using feelings of happiness, hope, sadness, or maybe even anger."
"Anger?"
"You know, that spiteful rage in your core. I have lots of rage inside of me and I use it to accomplish stuff all the time."
"Are you saying I should be angry to fly?"
"Well, I mean, it just depends alright? I would say use the reason why you want to fly to your advantage, but..."
"Yeah..."
We continue walking. She looks to be in thought.
"There is actually a reason as to why I want to fly."
"Great! Use that flame."
"It's because of my parents."
Her parents? What's a parent?
"They were so great and awesome and amazing... I guess I..."
I sense a feeling of sadness in the filly, due to the subject of her parents. Surely there is a way I can comfort her.
"Listen. Forget your parents. You don't need it. If it's causing you bad emotions, you should just forget it entirely."
"Really?"
"Of course!"
"...Thank you. I can't wait to tell Dash what I learned today when she comes back! I'm going to go Ember. Bye!"
I watch the filly scamper along, now noticing the vibrant orange of her coat. Ponies certainly have a whole multitude of emotions hidden behind their fleshy exterior. I feel happy that I helped. A new type of happy I don't think I've felt. I hope I said the right thing.
Once again I am swarmed by the same crowd asking the same relentless questions. Amidst the chaos I manage to escape morphing myself into one of the ponies Scootaloo had mentioned earlier. Babs seed. I back away not letting my sight wavier from the confused mob wondering where the dragon went. When I'm far away enough I take my eyes away bringing them back to the same sights of the town I'm beginning to come accustom to.
Something off in the distance changes this, however. A building larger than all the other ones inside the town. A red one, surrounded by what looked to be miles of apple trees. A feeling tugs at me, telling me I have to make my way there. Before I start my journey another little filly walks up to me and starts up a conversation.
"Hey Babs seed! Nice to see you! What brings you over to Ponyville?"
"...Uhh," I let out, not really knowing what to say to whoever this is.
"Something wrong? Ah, you must be tired from your long journey all the way from Manehatten! And, um even though I just said you're probably tired, care to help an Apple Bloom out with her chores on the farm? These chores are tiring!"
"Uhh... yeah."
So, this must be one of the other fillies the orange one mentioned. We make our way to the entrance of the "farm" and eventually off into the unending fields of the apple trees. She instructs me to take any of the apples I find lying on the ground and place them into a bucket. Seems to be simple work, but strangely I feel as if it fulfills me.
"So, what's been going on with you?" The bowed filly asks.
"Nothing much, really."
"Aw, come on! There's gotta be something interesting that happened to you while you were gone!"
"What can I say? Nothing happened. What about you, Apple Bloom?"
"Well, Applejack's been going through a lot, but I think she's gettin' better. Granny and Big Mac are about the same- oh! I started talkin' with our neighbors."
"Your neighbors?"
"Yeah, Carrot Top and her family just a little ways away from our farm. They have their own Carrot Farm. Carrot Top's been so nice to me and she even gave me free candy! Can you believe that!"
"Free candy?!"
"Yeah! Unfortunately we can't really go visit them right now, because they're figuring out what they want to do for this years harvest."
What they want to do? That question sticks inside of my head like a sore hoof. Why? What do they want to do? What do ponies want to do? What's a harvest? What does this little filly want to do? ...What do I want to do? I've... never really thought about it. I've been stuck in my hole for so long that I never really wanted to do anything.
"Babs!"
I come back to reality.
"You spaced out on me back there. You sure you okay?"
"Totally!"
"Well, I think I can finish up my chores. Thanks for the help! You can go let Granny Smith and Big Mac know you're here. You can come inside and have dinner with us! I really hope we're not having anything icky like last nights brussel sprouts. Hooo wee! It was horrible Babs! Anyway, see you inside!"
I leave Apple Bloom behind glad I didn't have to talk too much. I walk inside greeted to a sight of beauty. Comfy red and yellow colors of the walls and floors, along with comfy colorful furniture, and the photos of one colorful family all bombard me. It all feels so happy and warm. Is this what a home is like, one that's not a hole? It's wondrous. I come into the kitchen where the sweetest aroma hits me like nothing has before. A green wrinkly old mare greets me with a smile, who I assume to be Granny. I take a seat at the dinner table across from a big red stallion, who I assume to be Big Mac.
Apple Bloom soon comes back inside, sitting happily next to me. Then suddenly the sounds of hoofsteps trigger in my right ear as I see a different mare wearing a hat enter the room. She must be Applejack. Mere moments later we all have our meals in front of us and there's nothing left to do, but talk and eat. The green one speaks up.
"It's been quite a while, hasn't it Babs? Feels like it's been years, since you've stepped on our farm. Usually we've would've receive some sort of letter from your parents warning us of your arrival. Have you been eatin' well over there in Manehatten? You better have!"
There's that word again. Parents. I may not know about that, but I do know about eating.
"I eat loads of good stuff. Like worms and dirt and plants. They're quite yummy."
The room goes silent as if I said something wrong.
"Well, uh. That's nice," The green mare responds with.
"Eeeyeahh..." The red one agrees.
"Hey, Babs! Did you get anyone to join up with the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders?
"Umm. Noooo. Them ponies out in Manehatten are tough nuts to crack."
"Darn!"
"Applejack, do you have anything to say?" The green old mare questions with a sense of authority.
Applejack says nothing. I guess some just can't speak. The rest of the dinner carries on with conversation and food. Food to the likes I've never experienced before. I cannot describe the sense of flavor it possessed. It was magical. Once dinner ends, us as the "small fillies" are sent to bed. I apparently got the guest bedroom a room away from Applebloom upstairs. I could hear the green and red one talking amongst themselves downstairs.
The bed was so... so... something. Just another amazing feeling I couldn't describe. Unfortunately it's not like I could stay here, living as a child underneath the household of them. As much as I love it here so far I must return back to my hole. Carefully I sneak out and it really puts into perspective how terribly you've been living when you go from a comfy bed to the hard cold ground of my hole. Then the question that still lingers in my mind peeks its head once again. What do I want to do?
Well for starters I want to return back to that beautiful town tomorrow.
It must've been sometime after the noon struck when I made my way back. I had decided not to go back in the form of the filly "Babs Seed" and settle for a pegasus I had laid my eyes upon for the first time in an adventure book. A book somewhere along the lines of "Daring Do." So, when I walked back inside the town I tipped my adventurous hat off to the residents passing by.
It was still just as bustling as it was yesterday, but as strange as it is there was an underlying peaceful tranquility to it. Up ahead I find another pegasus, just like the pony I'm impersonating. She's a bright cyan color, with a flowing rainbow mane. I feel an unwavering comfort from her colorful appearance. Maybe I'm getting used to these interactions with the town's ponies. She looks like she's searching for someone, then her search brings her vision onto me and in a instant she zooms over to my location.
"Daring Do! I can't believe it! What's the most adventurous and awesome pony doing in Ponyville right now? Need help with some of your spine-tingling tales? I would love to help."
"That would be great..."
"Absolutely! Are we going on an adventure now? Is the world of Equestria at stake? Is there an ancient artifact that needs protecting?"
"Aren't you supposed to be doing something?" I asked, but in reality I had no idea if she even did.
"Oh, yeah right. No you're right. Sorry, I got distracted. Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and me Rainbow Dash are all looking for a missing filly. I think her name is Baaa... no. Bads meed?"
"Babs seed?"
"Yes! That's the one! I'm sure she's probably fine, but she disappeared last night and the Apple Family have been worried. They think it has something to do with Babs' family. I'm not convinced."
"Well... what are we waiting for?" I exclaim without energy, hoping I sounded like a real adventurer.
"Woohoo! Another daring adventure just between the two of us, eh? So, what do you say? Let's take to the skies so we can find this filly already!"
Immediately she dashed upwards, signaling me to do the same, however I still can't fly.
"Rainbow! I can't fly!"
She places herself back onto the ground.
"What do you mean?"
"I... hurt my wings on my last tussle with one of my enemies. I can't use them."
"You hurt your wings? Didn't think that was possible... well I guess we could search around the boring way on hoof... and talk... I guess."
I nod my head and gulp, as we both take a step forward.
"So, whatcha think about the state Equestria is in at the moment?"
"I don't really pay attention to that when I'm off in far away lands."
"Well... it's pretty strange I would say. I guess it's not that bad, but considering what's going on in the Dragon Lands I don't blame ponies for being worried. I think it might have affected Applejack to. She's been off lately. I heard from Twilight that Ember made a visit. Once again though, I don't buy it. Why would she be here when she was so determined to fix her land?"
"Mhm."
"What really shocked me is when Scootaloo came home with me last night, talking about how Ember was teaching her how to fly? When does she ever do that? She's not really the helping type I would say."
"Helping..." I whisper under my breath.
"Then she talks all about this idea of forgetting your parents and using her emotions of anger towards her parents to help her fly? That's not healthy! It will probably take me weeks to get that idea out of her head! I'm no psychiatrist, but how are you supposed to move on, if you just forget them entirely?"
"Yeah..."
"You know Daring... I feel like you're less talkative than usual. Not that you were that talkative... anyway, if you tell me, I feel like something is going on here in Ponyville, causing more problems than just the disappearance of one filly. You got any advice for me, Daring Do?"
"I'm no psychiatrist here either, Dash, but if you ask me... maybe you'll be able to just fix it?"
"That's easy for you to say! You're always fixing problems and helping ponies in the most awesome way! It's one of the reasons I look up to you so much. No matter what happens you're always helping instead of hurting."
Helping... That word won't leave my head now. I had helped Fluttershy, Scootaloo, and Applebloom, right? I certainly believe I did... and it felt good, it felt amazing! Maybe this is what I want to do...
"Dash, I think you should just forget about all these problems."
"What? You think I should just forget about it? Forget about the possibly damaging mindset, Scootaloo may have?"
"I'm sure that will help."
"And forget about the overwhelming situation in the Dragon Lands? I- Huh... you know it's weird... that sounds kind of like the advice Ember gave to Scoots... Ember... The Dragon Lands..."
She gets lost in thought.
"Did you know about what's happening in the Dragon Lands... with the Changelings?"
"Changelings?"
"The hideous creatures that can shape shift into any pony or object imaginable?"
Are there others like me?
"Tell me Daring Do... who's your number one nemesis?"
"Um... I- ...don't remember?"
"YOU'RE A CHANGELING!"
The scream pierces my ears right before she tackles me onto the ground rendering me unable to move. She begins to holler for other ponies to come aid her in what I'm assuming to be capture. I can't let this happen. While she is distracted and looking away I reform my shape into the little filly she had been searching for, allowing me escape. The little legs of a child won't take me far, so I re-transform into Braeburn, hoping he'll be faster than the speeding pegasus right behind me.
I take a sharp left turn around the corner, praying she can't turn on a dime. Unfortunate for me she can. She flies high above me beating me down with her eagle eye. I slip into an abnormally large crowd, thinking I'll be able to lose her. I push and shove through the sea of residents trying to think of a good pony to transform into. By the time I make it out, I look high above still having the appearance of Braeburn and the Rainbow one still looking down onto me.
Attempting to sprint faster I bump into a purple alicorn absorbed in a book.
"TWILIGHT! GET HIM! HE'S A CHANGELING!"
Suddenly, now I have two speeding mares coming my direction. I take another sharp turn, this time a right. I'm welcomed to an empty open spaced area of the town, having no one there except for three mares. A pink one, a yellow one, and a white one. Their colors seem threatening.
"PINKIE PIE! FLUTTERSHY! RARITY! STOP HIM!" The rainbow one calls.
Soon enough they come charging straight for me, causing me to halt and run another direction only to be stopped by the two previously flying mares, now standing right in front of me. They circle around me all giving glaring looks of disgust. Unloving disgust. The rainbow one speaks up. Her tone is loud and commanding.
"You think you can cause problems here in our town? I don't know who you think you are, but no one dares try to hurt my town! You're sick, do you know that? I don't know what you were planning, but you are sick! Disgusting, no good, rotten filth! How could you cause so much hurt and destruction and be fine with it? You don't help, you only hurt. How can you be so cruel?!"
The words sting like nothing has before.
"SHOW US, WHO YOU TRULY ARE!"
I open my mouth. "You want to see who I truly am? Alright then."
I change back into my original form letting nothing hold me back... and yet upon doing so all I can see from the five faces staring at me is confusion. The rainbow one walks up to me and dips her hoof into me.
"A blue puddle? Of... blood?!"
Why are they confused? I am a changeling, right? Nevertheless I take the opportunity to sink my dark blue liquid body into the hard ground, effectively making myself invisible, able to return back to my hole. Before I leave I hear the pegasus say one more thing.
"Twilight... I don't think that was a changeling..."
And so I arrive back to where I began. No name, no shape shifting for at least a couple of months, no probable way back, and no body.
Bathing in my grief a little bug comes to greet me... the same bug I saw in the alleyway. I can tell it wants me to follow.
The stagnant blue of the bug leads me away from the town I thought I could love. From the ponies I thought I could love. From a life I thought I could love. The wonderful colors all wash away leaving a gray stricken emotion in my heart. I follow the dull blue, the only color I have left, just like the tears pouring from my original form... a puddle of dark blue blood. I don’t know where the creature will take me, but I should be anywhere, but here.
Maybe with him I can find guidance... a home... maybe even a parent.
