The Equestria I Was Promised

by TheCrazyAsian

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Adventure, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 3426

What has happened to Equestria?

What has happened to the promised land, what has happened to Equestria? I don't know but I'm going to find out.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-10 11:03:44 UTC

Prologue

The Equestria I Was Promised

Chapter One: Prologue

By: TheCrazyAsian A.K.A. Feasttalon

Yeah, Equestria. A perfect place where anything can be solved within 44 minutes. Why wouldn't I want to live there? It might seem crazy but I think I've found a way to get there. Based on the multiverse theory I should be able to open up a portal and find Equestria. Simple plan right? Well it wasn't, I had to team up with my buddy to do it. So here's my story. The story of what I've had to do, what I've found and what I've done when I got to Equestria.

Opening the Portal!

The Equestria I Was Promised

Chapter Two: Opening the Portal

By: TheCrazyAsian A.K.A. Feasttalon

Black, that's all I can see, never ending black; then again it would help if my eyes were actually open, though not by much. I open my eyes and my pervious assumption is confirmed, nothing. "Hey Matt! When're you gonna be done with that damn circuit breaker?" I shout in no specific direction.

"I'm almost done! Just give me a sec you impatient asswipe!" I hear him shout back from somewhere behind me. Every time! Every damn time I try to turn on that piece of crap it pops a breaker and shuts down all the lights! If he actually did his damn job right this wouldn't be happening would it.

I turn to the direction I heard his voice coming from and yell back at him, "Hey, don't call me an "asswipe"! You're the damn electrical engineer, it's your fault this thing doesn't work!" After a few seconds of no response I hear a faint click, then the lights flicker and turn back on. About damn time. I take a look around to check to see if anything's broken; everything seems alright but there's a really out of place cable that's just sitting in the middle of the room.

There's the sound of footsteps and Matt rounds the corner back into the the room. "There, you happy?" he says rather bitterly.

"I'll be happy when you get this damn circuitry right you retard," I reply. Yeah we might be friends but we're not always all so friendly.

"If you're so smart why don't you give it a try?" he tells me.

That arrogant piece of crap. "What you think that your fancy smancy "electrical engineering" degree makes you any better than me? In case you haven't noticed I'm the one going to med school!" I tell him.

"You aren't going to med school, you're not even in college yet!" he says.

"You know what? Fuck you! Give me that damn soldering gun! It can't be that hard if you can do it," I tell him, a smirk no creasing my face. He glances around and finds the soldering gun, holding it out to me as if it was some sort of priceless object.

"Here you go your majesty," he says. I can detect the slightest hint of anger in his voice. He's doing his best to hide it but he isn't doing a very good job at it; much like the job he did on the soldering. I swipe it from his hand and walk over to the white portal in the middle of the room. I flip open the panel on the side of it and; I don't know. I got nothing. It looks like a fucking jungle of wiring in there.

I want to just randomly soldering just to seem like I know what I'm doing but a part of me is too scared of what might happen. I don't even know how the fuck to use this damn thing. It seems as if I'm holding some sort of alien tool; made by some extraterrestrial race with technology eons ahead of what I, or the rest of humanity, can even dream of.

"Fuck you," I whisper.

"I'm sorry I couldn't hear you."

"I said fuck you," I shout at him. I wind my arm back and throw the soldering gun at him. He has to dive forward to keep it from hitting the concrete floor and shattering into innumerable pieces.

"You need to work on your upper body strength man. You're never going to get a girl with those twigs you call your arms," he taunts me. It's how it goes between us. I call him stupid he calls me weak. I call him moronic he calls me a nerd. So on and so forth, ad nauseam.

He walks towards me and says the one fucking line that annoys me the most, "I told you so." I just walk back towards the small chair on the side of the room and sit there while I watch my friend tinker around with the wires. Man it's so hard to stay awake, maybe I should just do this tomorrroooo-.

"Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! Hey wake up!" My eyes shoot open and I instinctively flail my arms out at random. What the fuck is going on. I look down and see Matt crouched on the floor with his hand on his cheek. Fuck, I did it again. "Nice one fucktard!" he yells at me.

"Hey, this isn't the first time this has happened. You should know you shouldn't wake me up by shaking me, go jump down a well," I tell him.

"Well, with that attitude I might just take all the electrical work out of here and you can go rebuild it by yourself," he taunts.

"Yeah, yeah. You think you've got this right this time?" I ask.

"Yup. I'm sure of it," he says.

"That's what you said the past 15 plus times," I say under my breath.

"Okay, I would suggest you get behind the safety glass," he tells me, "Also, put these on." He hands me what seems like a pair of lab goggles only with the transparent plastic colored in with a sharpie. It looks like a five year old made these.

"Wait a minute. Why is this the first fucking time you've given me these?" I ask him.

"To be honest, I redid some of the equations I did before and the reason I think this hasn't been working is because I forgot to carry the 1's on a few of the equations. One of the equations was how luminous the portal was going to get and it turns out that if it had worked before you might have been blinded for about a week," he tells me.

"You incompetent buffoon." You'd expect me to be angrier at him for almost making me blind for a week but truth be told much worse has happened to me when working with him. For example the soda bottle carbolic acid incident of '61.

"Yeah, yeah. Just get behind the damn safety glass." With that statement he walks off into his control room/bunker. I don't get why I have to stay out here right fucking next to the damn portal. If this thing blows I'm probably gonna get turned into a pin cushion.

I half run half walk to the other side of the room where several large panels of what my friend calls "Heat tempered shrapnel resistant safety glass" have been turned into a rather small looking cube extending to the ceiling. I put the goggles on and immediately the smell of sharpie markers overtakes me senses. If an explosion doesn't kill me the fumes from this pair of goggles will. The lights shut off. Very dramatic atmosphere.

There's the sound of static as the intercom he installed turns on. Yeah, he bothered to install a fucking intercom system. "Okay, I'm turning it on in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Let's jam!", after that I can't hear him. The only thing I can hear is a loud whirring sound, the same sound I've heard before. I'm starting to wonder why I'm not wearing earplugs. But this time there's something new along with the old noise, I can't describe it but it's different. It's a more subtle deeper sound than before that's mixed in with the mechanical whirring I've heard before. Maybe he did get it right this time.

I can see slivers if light coming through the goggles, only this time instead of a pure white light it's more of deep blue. My favorite color, thought I'm not sure if this is a coincidence or if my friend somehow programmed the color. Then again if he did than he would have made the portal green instead of blue.

"Hey, Hey! I think we did it! I think it worked!" he shouts over the intercom. Oh my god, it worked it worked! After three years I've finally managed to do it! I've opened up the portal; I've done it! Now the only thing to do is to jump though. Throw all caution to the wind and go to the promised land! Go to Equestria!

End Chapter Two

Jumping to Another World

The Equestria I Was Promised

Chapter Three: Jumping to Another World

By: TheCrazyAsian A.K.A. Feasttalon

I don't know how to describe how I feel. It's more than happy or ecstatic. No, it's something much more. It feels like I just won the lottery. I did win the lottery. I might not have won money but I won something more. I won my dreams, a place where I can live in happiness, a place where I could would be more than happy to spend the rest of my life no matter what would happen there.

As I'm about to rip off my goggles and knock down the safety glass barrier as I sprint to the portal so that I could jump through and go to Equestria there's the familiar static of the intercom. "Don't go through the portal yet. I don't know how stable it'll be and all the other stuff. Please don't go through; if you do you might be trapped between dimensions as the portal collapses or god knows what might happen," Matt warns me. He sounds like he does normally, same calm monotoned voice with a slight bitterness and sarcastic tone to it. I didn't expect him to be jumping up and down like the guy's at NASA did when Apollo 11 got to the moon but I expected at least some excitement, some happiness to it.

Then again this had always been my dream, I just dragged him along for the ride. I'm sure he at least has a smile on his face. After all he just built an inter-dimensional portal to what I hope is Equestria. Though knowing his track record this portal might be leading to the universe of Half-Life or Gurren Lagann. Might as well get some sleep as I'm waiting for him to do his equations. I'd rather just jump through and deal with what I find when I get there but then again his portals his rules I guess.

"Holy shit!" I shout as I'm jolted awake by my friend's equally loud shouting over the intercom, "What the hell was that! You couldn't be bothered to get out of your control room and wake me up somewhat more calmly?"

"Well I would but you know"

"Yeah, I know. You're a lazy bastard."

"Yeah, yeah. I have something here you're gonna want to hear. It turns out the portal does lead to Equestria. It is safe for you to go through. But there is a catch; the portal's only going to open for about a week, give or take a few hours.

"I don't see what the problems with that is. I wasn't planning on coming back anyway," I tell him.

"Well here's the problem with that. This portal is designed with a failsafe. And by fail safe I mean that if the portal starts collapsing you'll be instantly transported back here. So in all reality you'll have about 12 hours less than a week, give or take a few hours," he says. Failsafe. Who's idea was that? It's not like I'd ever come back to this wretched world.

"Why the hell did you put a failsafe you moronic old world primate!?" I yell at him.

"Well how the hell was I supposed to know you didn't want to come back?"

"Would you come back to this piece of shit world?"

"You know what? Let's just stop arguing about this. If you want me to get rid of the failsafe I'm gonna need to power it down, order new parts, write new programming and rewire everything. It took me this long to get the original one working and I don't know how long it'll take to get a new one working. So I assume you'd rather first go to ponyland, have some fun, come back then let me get rid of the damn failsafe." He does make a decent argument. Might as well have a week's worth of fun before waiting possibly another year waiting for the new portal to get built.

"Okay, I guess I'll go through," I tell him. As I stand up to open up the front of the safety glass cube I hear the sound of air whooshing that overcomes the sound of the whirling blue portal infront of me. I never understood why Matt has his own concrete safe complete with a positive pressur airlock while I sit in this dinky little box.

"Hey. Before you go through I want to give you this," he says. After rummaging through his pockets he pulls out some sort of electronic earpiece. It looks somewhat familiar to something I've seen before.

"An earpiece? Is that going to work because I'm kinda going through a portal to an different dimension?"

"Don't worry. As long as the portal is open audio signals will be able to get through. But I had to use Amplitude Modulated radio waves so while it'll be able to go anywhere you'll go in Equestria there might be static. I don't know how much. Depends on cosmic background radiation and other shit."

"Other shit? Sounds kinda serious if I won't be able to communicate with you."

"I don't feel like giving you a high school physics lesson. Take the damn earpiece and put it in your damn ear."

"Alright, alright," I tell him. I take the earpiece, it seems rather large, then I realize why. It also has a microphone, or at least what I assume is a microphone sticking off of it.

"Yo, isn't this the earpiece Suzaku Kururugi wears?" I ask.

"Yeah. Your point would be?"

"Nothing. So how does this work?"

"I broadcast the signals and since this entire room is 2 foot thick concrete the only place where it'll go is through the portal, which will probably mangle the signal a little bit. Then once it goes through it'll be in that ponyland you keep talking about and as long as no one else is on 134.5 kilohertz you'll be the only one who'll be able to hear what I'm saying," he tells me.

"Okay. So I can go now or do you have some other cool stuff for me?"

"Actually there is one last thing," he rummages through one of his pockets and pulls out a model P27 pistol,"Here take it," he says. He holds it out to be with his hand gripping the barrel of the gun, covering the laser sight on it.

I take the gun from his hand and with a slight clink set it down on the floor, purposely having the barrel of the weapon facing neither me or Matt. "I don't need a gun where I'm going. Plus I couldn't shoot one if my life depended on it," I reply to him. Having to use a gun in Equestria. One of the silliest thoughts that have ever gone through my head. Even if I was, for some reason, battling let's say Nightmare Moon or Discord using a gun would be out of the question. First of all I could just run away and wait for Twilight or maybe Princess Celestia to take care of it. And even if I did have to battle head on I could probably just throw rocks because the villains in Equestria aren't that violent; they're more just stupidly evil.

"Whatever man, don't come crying to me when some random thing attacks you and you don't have a gun to shoot it," he tells me rather condescendingly.

"Yeah, yeah. So can I go through now or are you going to keep yapping on about random crap," I ask/complain to him.

"Nope, you're good," he tells me, "Just let me get back into the control room before going through." With that he walks off back to his nerd cave to do god knows what. As the sound of his footsteps fade into the background I am now aware of the fact that the portal is not making any noise, or at least not as much noise as before. It's kinda of weird but I don't really give a crap about the amount of sound coming out of the portal as long as it works.

Right now I'm not sure how I should go about going through the indigo colored portal. I can think of two different ways to approach this. I can just start running as fast as I can, like a soldier from the first World War and try to jump into the portal midair like from Black Ops. Or I can just do it rationally, or at least as rationally as you can jump through an inter-dimensional portal, by calmly walking to the portal and just slowly lowering myself through it, as if I was trying to get into a pool.

Well if I'm going to do something as crazy as going to another dimension so that I can live a life of happiness in a world of technicolor ponies, some of which who can fly and use magic, I might as well do it in a rather crazy and eccentric way. I hear the familiar crackle of the intercom as my friend gives me the clear to go through the portal. I can't believe this actually worked out. I can't believe that I'm gonna be going to Equestria. Years of dreams and work are going to be validated. While this might not be as impressive as proving the existence of the Higgs Boson it feels just as impressive, if not more so, to me.

I turn my head and take a few steps back, though it might have only taken a few seconds it feels like an hour. I can feel the blood flushing into my face, my heart's pounding in my chest. It's do or die now. I give my friend a nod and he nods back through the glass of his nerd cave. I'm about 20 to 25 feet away from the portal from where I stand. A shout reverberates through the air as I run as fast as I can towards the portal.

I'm about 5 feet away when I decide to jump as hard as I can. About 2 feet away I think that I'm going to crash into the side of the portal and give myself a concussion. I instinctively pull my arms infront of my face to try and shield myself from the possible collision and shut my eyes as tight as I can. I feel something but not the hard bump of my head against the metal of the portal, no this feels more like someone draping a heavy blanket over me.

I feel like I got punched into the gut as all the air comes rushing out of my lungs. This isn't the feeling on falling onto the hard concrete of basement floor where the portal was. No, this is the feeling of falling onto what feels like wet grass and leaves, a feeling that I barely feel anymore after moving into the city. I'm not in my basement anymore. No, I'm in the place where I wanted for the past 3 years.

Light begins to filter into my eyes as they open. Instead of the grey of my basement floor and wals or the blue of the portal I see green, brown and all the colors of the rainbow. Without a doubt I'm in Equestria. But the thing is, where am I? This isn't Ponyville, nor is it Canterlot or any other place I'm familiar with in the world of MLP. So, where the hell am I?