Polyamory is a Surprisingly Effective Solution to the Housing Shortage
They had asked the question as a joke. But it got them thinking.
“Why don’t we buy a house together?”
It wasn’t easy for new graduates to afford a house so early, but together, they managed to secure a fixed-rate joint mortgage at four-point-six percent. Sunset and her six friends were excited to move in together six months ago, immediately after their graduation.
81860 Canterlot Oaks Avenue was a cozy fourteen-hundred-square-foot single-floor family home. With only two-bed and two-bath, they had to be creative with their space. Since she needed space for her live streams and video editing, Sunset took the garage and renovated it into a bedroom and office, with a heavy curtain to separate her stuff from Rarity’s sewing supplies. Applejack and Rarity, being a couple, took one bedroom for themselves, leaving Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash to share the other. Pinkie Pie traveled a lot for her job and opted to park her RV in the driveway and sleep there instead. And with the seven of them, the TV rules were as simple as assigning it by day.
After a month, however, they started having incidents. Someone left their vibrator charging in the living room. Rainbow Dash forgot to lock the bathroom door during some “personal time.” Thanks to Applejack and Rarity, they all found out just how little the walls could block out. And although no one pointed fingers, they all knew it was Fluttershy who had ordered eight volumes of “Wolfboy x Bunnygirl” manga from Amazon.
Eventually, they needed a house meeting.
As far as problems to have with a new house, it could be worse,” Sunset said when she called them to the dining room. “Still, I think we need to work something out.”
“I try not to think about it too much. It’ll be like getting used to hearing traffic outside the dorms,” Twilight said. “If I can ignore angry truckers at 2AM, I can sleep through Rarity getting her back blown out by Applejack every night.”
“I beg your pardon?” Rarity’s face reddened. “That is hardly the problem when Dashie can’t even lock a door.”
“It was one time!” Rainbow pouted and folded her arms. “Maybe putting all seven of us into one house wasn’t the best idea.”
Twilight shook her head. “The math is clear. With rents the way they are, this mortgage is still the best deal in the long run. We just gotta work through this phase.”
“We should count our blessings,” Rarity added. “We’re lucky enough to have even found a property with this housing shortage.”
“So, are we just going to ignore everything we’ve seen?” Fluttershy asked.
Pinkie Pie, who had been uncharacteristically silent up until that point, stood up to address everybody. “Ladies, please, you’re all missing the obvious solution here.”
“And what d’you reckon that is?” Applejack asked.
“Well, everyone’s feeling awkward about these incidents, but you two aren’t uncomfortable with each other, right?”
“Not in the slightest,” Applejack said, smiling. “What are you getting at?”
“Don’t you see? We could solve all our problems if we followed your example and all just hooked up! Nothing to be embarrassed about if we’ve seen it all, right? It would have to a unanimous, of course, but—”
“But nothing,” Twilight interrupted. “Pinkie, this is a serious conversation, we can’t solve our problems with… carnal release!”
“I dunno about that,” Rainbow Dash mumbled. “It could work.”
“I second it,” Fluttershy murmured. She simply shrugged as everyone else eyeballed her as if wondering if they had heard correctly.
“Funny,” Applejack chortled. “We’ve been struggling to try new things with just us two. We’re willing to experiment if y’all are, right?” Rarity nodded eagerly.
Sunset chuckled. “A little unexpected, but you gotta admit, it’s not a bad idea.”
Twilight looked around the table. “You’re all okay with the idea?”
“I think the question is, are you?” Sunset asked. “If it’s not unanimous, all it does is leave someone out, and that isn't going to fix the problem.”
Twilight chewed on the end of her pen, slowly shaking her head. “I can’t say that certain thoughts never crossed my mind, but all of us? Are you girls sure?”
They all answered with an affirmative “sure” or “yeah,” or “absolutely!”
“Fine. But we’re going to need to set some house rules first.”
They discussed it back and forth numerous times, sharing interests that they all had kept secret for the years they had known each other. Once they had their list of rules, they all saved it to their phones.
Curfew: No sex in the house after 11pm
Or on Tuesdays/Thursdays from 5 to 8pm. Sunset is streaming.
No sharing toys. Put your name on it, it is yours.
If you’re using one of Twilight’s experimental designs, put a condom on it.
P.S. If it overclocks, unplug it.
No fucking on the dining table.
No cursing or swearing with Fluttershy
Excessive cursing or swearing with Rainbow Dash
Clean up after yourself. The bathroom tiles are especially slippery with lube.
P.S. Avoid glycerin and oil-based lubricants. They stick and have a higher risk of bacterial/yeast infections.
Get tested for STIs regularly, even if you think you don’t need it. Check with Twilight for the schedule.
If you're using anything with latex, let Rarity know ahead of time. She’s only allergic to direct contact.
The safe word is “Strawberry.”
Twilight and Sunset held hands in contemplation after a day of “team bonding” with everyone and changing their internet plan to fiber optic. Not at the same time, of course.
“I knew this house was a good idea,” Sunset said, caressing her hand along the inside of Twilight’s leg. “It’s close to everyone’s jobs, plus there’s a Trader Joe’s within walking distance. We’re lucky.”
“To be fair,” Twilight said, softly kissing Sunset back, “I prefer this compared to getting fucked over by rental prices.”
Sunset laughed. “You’re right. I guess we’d be screwed either way. Who knew polyamory could solve the housing crisis?”
