There is no Vinyl Scratch
Vinyl shut the door to her ‘apartment’ behind her, heaving a heavy sigh. Her neighbor had been trying really hard lately to figure out something, anything about her past, and it was really starting to get on her nerves. She removed her sunglasses, and the enchantments effects wore of in a matter of seconds, revealing a pair of white feathered wings. The lighter blue sections of her mane and tail turned into their normal alternating pink and light green colors. Her Cutie-mark changed back to its normal form as well: a smaller version of her mother’s signature sun shaped cutie-mark appearing behind her pair of eighth notes. The Sunglasses weren’t her only method of maintaining the illusion, nor was it the best method, but it was the easiest. She glanced around her ‘apartment’. It was one of the biggest rooms in canterlot castle, although she never had to walk through the palace to get to it. She was paying the landlord of a building in the lower section of canterlot to rent a room, and had set up a portal between the front door there and the door to one of her spare closets. Very few ponies outside of the castle staff and the nobility knew her true identity, and almost none of them knew about her alternate one.
Her horn lit up with Violate magic, as she telekinetically pushed the button to turn the CD player on the other side of the room on. The soothing sound of rain began to play, as the pony let the stress of her double life be washed away by relaxation. Most ponies thought that when she got home, she blared the same type of loud music she played for a ‘living’ (as if she actually needed the money) at maximum volume, but why in Equestria would she want to listen to the same music she’d just spent hours on end playing when she got home? She loved the music she played, but not any more than she loved any other type of music. The only music she considered her to be her favorite was considered by all others to not be a type of music at all: Rain. Rain was nature’s music, and it was the most beautiful sound in Equestria. The relaxing sound, combined with her tiredness, quickly put her on the verge of falling asleep…
…And then there was a knock at the door.
Vinyl quickly turned the CD player off, before heading over towards her bed. “Who is it?”
“It’s me. Can I come in?”
“Yeah.” Vinyl said as she flopped down on the mattress. The door opened, and Princess Celestia walked in, a look of concern her face.
“How are you feeling?”
“Dead tired, and more than a little lonely, but that’s to be expected after a night of being Vinyl Scratch…”
Celestia walked over and sat down next to her on the bed, nuzzling the tired pony affectionately. “I’m sorry to hear that, sweetie.”
“Does life always suck this bad?”
“It gets easier, the older you get. It helps to have somepony to talk to; I like talking to your aunt Luna, your cousins, and occasionally to my protégé, Twilight.” the alicorn mother informed her daughter.
“Yeah, but unlike you I don’t have a protégé, and I can’t risk making friends again.” the child complained to her parent. “Just like how I can’t do any real flying anymore. All those private lessons from the wonderbolts wasted, because some jerk couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”
They sat in silence for a time, remembering the event’s that had ended the existence of her previous alias. Finally Celestia spoke up. “I think…it’s about time you tried again…”
‘Vinyl’ looked at the bringer of the day and blinked. “What?”
“When I was you’re age, I was lucky to have a sister and to have made six great friends who didn’t care about my titles and power. I don’t think I would have ever made it through that phase of my life without them.”
“But what if-?”
“A wise pony once said ‘Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.’ I’m certain you can make some real friends if you try again, and use a little more caution in choosing them.”
Vinyl looked nervous, as she thought it over in her head. Making friends would risk exposing her to the public, which would cause trouble, but she really didn’t want to keep being so lonely all the time, and the only way she could be around anypony without intimidating them with her social status was if she went as ‘Vinyl’.
“I…I don’t know. I’m not exactly the most sociable pony around; how would I even go about making a friend in the first place?”
Celestia smiled at her daughter. “Don’t worry my little one…I have an idea.”
*
“Twilight! Twilight get up! You’ve got a letter from the Princess, and it looks really important!”
Twilight sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She glanced at her alarm clock, which proudly told her it was six in the morning, exactly. She’d only been asleep for two hours.
“It better be Spike…I was having a really nice dream…”
She got to her hooves and managed to make her way down to where Spike was preparing breakfast. Normally when she stayed up till four, Spike would make breakfast and manage the library by himself until around noon. The Lavender unicorn spotted the open scroll on the table and picked it up with her magic, reading over the contents of the letter quietly. When she was done she put it down on the table again.
“Spike, I’m going to be taking a quick trip to canterlot. It should take most of the day so you’ll need to watch the library by yourself until closing time. If any of the girls ask, tell them I’m getting new books for the library.”
“Speaking of which, you’ve been putting off getting some new books for the musical history section lately. You might want to actually think about getting some new books while you’re in canterlot.”
“I’ll see what I can do, but I probably won’t have time.”
*
The sun streamed through the glass doors to the balcony. Princess Celestia sat quietly, watching her daughter get some much needed sleep. She had done everything she could to make the life of her child easier. She’d managed to keep her away from the political games of the nobility, and by keeping her existence a secret from the public populace, she’d also managed to avoid having her get dragged into most of the stressful duties of being a princess. She’d allowed her daughter to create alternate identities so she wouldn’t feel completely isolated from the world outside the palace. After her first identity had nearly ruined everything, the young alicorn had become afraid off the thought of having the truth exposed to the world, and as a result the identity known as “Vinyl Scratch” had a tendency to keep to herself and generally avoid social interaction. It was sad, really; the aliases were supposed to be helping her be less lonely, but instead were causing her to feel more secluded than ever.
A quiet knock on the door stirred Celestia from her thoughts. Silently she got to her hooves and went over, opening the door carefully, so as to not make too much noise. Luna was on the other side.
“Your faithful student is here to see you. Also, I hope you’re planning on taking over the royal court soon, because I can’t stay up all day to do it for you. I have a night to run, and several events I must be well rested for.” The younger princess whispered to her elder, so as to not disturb the sleeping pony in the room.
“I’ll be down as soon as I’m finished with Twilight. Could you please have a guard send her up on your way back to the throne room?” Luna nodded, and Celestia thanked her greatly as she shut the door again. She turned back to look at her daughter and walked over to the bed. Gently, she shook her daughter into waking up.
“Wake up dear; Twilight will be here soon.”
“Huh? Twilight? I’ve got to go back to work already?” The younger alicorn mumbled in confusion.
“No, I meant Twilight Sparkle…you remember her don’t you?”
“Oh. Yeah, sure I remember Twilight; she only lived at the palace for most of my life.” The Princess’ daughter muttered, before getting out of her bed and shuffling her way over to the bathroom. “Are you sure this will work? I mean, the entire plan depends on her not treating me like royalty, and you know-” she paused so she could yawn before continuing “-what she always says: there’s nothing casual about a visit from royalty.” Celestia heard the sink turn on, and the sound of teeth being brushed.
“She only says that when she’s nervous about my visits. She was quite relaxed the last time Luna went to visit, and she’s been getting a lot better about being casual around me too.”
Her daughter rinsed and spit, clearing her mouth of toothpaste. The sink turned off. “Maybe, but it’s been forever since she’s been around me…er…it’s been forever since she was around me and knew it was me, I mean.” She used her magic to begin brushing her mane. “Besides, I’m your daughter. What if she panics and thinks you banish her to the wherever for making one wrong move around me?”
“I’m certain Twilight knows better than that. She started a riot in ponyville and I didn’t banish her for that. Three little fillies let loose the spirit of chaos and disharmony, and I let that slide too. Both Mayor Mare and I let Spike’s rampage of greed go unpunished, and I gave a full pardon to a traveling show mare who almost got the town destroyed by an Ursa Minor in exchange for a public apology and nothing more. Yes, I think it’s safe to say Twilight knows I’m not that strict when it comes to accidents and mishaps, no matter what or who is involved.”
The child of the sun princess walked out of the bathroom, no longer suffering from a case of bed-mane. “I hope your right; I’m not sure I can think up another identity to-” she was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Your Majesty, Twilight Sparkle is here to see you.” The voice of a royal guard said from behind the door.
“Send her in.”
The doors opened and Twilight entered the room immediately going over to her mentor, and hugging her. “Princess Celestia, it’s so good to see you again.”
“And it is good to see you again as well, my faithful student.” Celestia said as she returned the hug. When the short embrace ended, Twilights attention was directed to the other alicorn in the room, who appeared to be nervous.
“Twilight, you remember my daughter, Princess Calliope, don’t you?”
The studious unicorn nodded, walking over to her. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How have you been?” she asked with a friendly smile.
“Lonely, tired, and stressed out…but that’s why you’re here.”
“Um…it is?” Twilight asked, unsure of what she had to do with her mentor’s daughter being stressed out.
“Yes. You see, my daughter has been trying to maintain a social life outside of the palace by using a false identity. Unfortunately, after some rather unfortunate events occurred with the first one, she’s been afraid to try and make friends again out of fear that they’ll discover her secret.”
“So you asked me here to try and teach her how to make friends?”
“Yes and we were also hoping I could stay with you for a while.”
“Stay with me…as in live at my house?” there was a hint of panic in Twilight’s voice. The daughter of Princess Celestia, controller of the sun and ruler of Equestria, was asking if she could stay at her house.
“We figured it’d be best if I learned in an environment that was a little friendlier than canterlot, and since you’re going to be teaching me anyways…”
“The decision is entirely up to you though, Twilight. You don’t have to if you don’t want to…”
Moving in and meeting Pinkie Pie
It was midnight when Twilight arrived home with her guest. They had been busy for most of the day. Princess Calliope, disguised as Vinyl Scratch, had ‘moved out’ of her apartment and quit her job (much to her employer’s disappointment). The two had spent the rest of the day packing, deciding that having a door that went straight from a public library in ponyville to a room in canterlot castle was a little too risky. The two walked into the library to find an unexpected surprise.
“Oh, Twilight darling, you’re home.”
“Rarity? What are you doing in my house?”
“Well, little Spike was practically exhausted from working the library by himself almost all day, and Sweetie Belle was having a sleep over at Applebloom’s, so I volunteered to help him out until you got home. The poor thing was so tired he fell asleep in the middle of dinner. I thought since I was already here so late and you weren’t going to get home until late at night, I’d-” it was at this point that Rarity finally noticed that Twilight wasn’t alone. “…oh…I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there. My name is-”
“Rarity, yeah I know. We’ve met before. You hired me to play the music at a fashion show.”
“Oh, so that’s why you look so familiar. I’m afraid I don’t remember your name though…”
“I’m Vinyl Scratch.” The DJ ‘Unicorn’ turned to Twilight. “Can you point me to my room? I’d kind of like to get unpacked.”
“The bedroom’s right up those stairs.”
‘Vinyl’ immediately levitated her two suitcases in through the door and carried them up the indicated stairs. Twilight turned her attention back to Rarity, who was mildly confused as to what the canterlot native DJ from one of her fashion shows was doing unpacking two rather large suitcases in Twilight’s upstairs bedroom.
“Uh…I guess I probably should have mentioned she was my cousin the last time she was in town…”
The cover story had been created with careful contemplation by all who were involved in the plan, and they had ended up with cousin because of the way ‘Vinyl’ had a similar coloration to Twilight’s brother, Shining Armor. The Purple pony felt bad about lying to her friend, but knew it was the best choice since the truth had a higher potential for causing problems.
“Well she certainly seems nice…I was going to ask if I could stay the night, but seeing as I’m not sure you’re cousin would like to share the guest bed on her fist night here, I’m just going to head home. Goodnight dear.” The dressmaker said as she headed out the door.
“Goodnight Rarity, and have a safe walk home.” the librarian said to her friend, before shutting the door behind her, and locking it so she could turn in for the night. At that exact moment, Princess Calliope came down the stairs in her natural form.
“Why is there no second bedroom? You know; one with a door for privacy?”
“Sorry, I probably should have told you I didn’t have a spare guest room. But don’t worry; I’m sure I can convert one of the studies into one by the end of the week.”
“So I’m going to have to live in a public library, in a room without a door, for a whole week? I knew this was a bad idea…”
“Relax. Most of the ponies in town are really good about respecting the privacy of others. I’m certain we’ll make it through the week just fine.”
*
At six in the morning the next day, Twilight went downstairs to start cooking a ‘thank you’ breakfast for Spike. Half an hour later, the little dragon came running down the stairs. “Twilight!”
“In here Spike!”
Her number one assistant rushed into the kitchen with a mild look of panic on his face. “Why is Princess Celestia’s daughter sleeping in the guest bed?”
“Oh, right, you weren’t awake when we got home last night, so I decided to wait to tell you.” The little dragon’s caretaker explained the situation to her assistant, stressing the importance of keeping their guest’s true identity a secret as much as possible. “Promise me you won’t tell anypony Spike.”
“Not even Rarity?” Her assistant asked.
“Especially not Rarity. She has connections with the nobility. You can’t even tell her if she promises to kiss you for it.”
“Not even for a kiss from Rarity?” Spike repeated.
“Spike, I need you to Pinkie Promise me on this. You’ve already been sworn to secrecy about her once, but I need to make sure.”
“Okay, I promise…not even for a kiss from Rarity. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” He swore rather dejectedly. There went one chance for him to get a kiss from the pony of his dreams.
“Did somepony just Pinkie Promise?” exclaimed a particular pink party pony as she popped partway out of the pantry, scaring the princess’ personal protégé and her pintsized purple assistant.
“Pinkie Pie, how long have you been in there?!”
“Only about five seconds…why, were you two talking about some super special secret something I shouldn’t know about?
Oh, you should tell me about it! You can totally tell me about it; I’m the best secret keeper in ponyville! They don’t call it a ‘Pinkie Promise’ for nothing you know.”
“Pinkie, I-”
“Hang on a second!” Pinkie sniffed the air for a second and then jumped out of the pantry. “I smell new pony!”
Twilight panicked. She’d told Calliope the lack of a door wasn’t going to be a problem. Unfortunately, she’d forgotten about Pinkie Pie and her…well…Pinkieness. The Party pony would most definitely figure out Calliope’s secret, one way or the other, but Twilight made a promise to keep the secret as best she could which meant she had to try and stop her anyways. The party pony sniffing the floor and following the scent of stranger, like Winona tracking down a lost animal. Twilight had to act quickly to delay the pink pony’s discovery of the alicorn’s identity. Thinking fast, she teleported in between Pinkie and the kitchen door.
“Pinkie, wait; I need to ask you a real quick favor! Can you throw a surprise party for my cousin?”
“Your cousin?” the Earth-pony stopped her advance, looking up at Twilight.
“Yeah. She just came to town yesterday to live with me for a few months.”
“Oh, so that’s why I smell new pony in your library.” The Party pony said as she stood up straight.
“Yeah, but the thing is, she’s really tired since we didn’t get in until late last night, and I’d like it if you waited until the party to meet her, so she can get as much rest as possible.”
“Okie dokie lokie, Twilight; just bring her to Sugarcube corner at around three o’clock, and leave everything else to your good friend Pinkie Pie.” and with that Pinkie jumped back into the pantry, closing it behind her. There was a moment of awkward silence, before Twilight used her magic to open the pantry again, revealing it to be empty of the crazy party pony.
“Typical Pinkie…”she said out loud.
She sighed in relief, having delayed the inevitable, and then she went back to cooking breakfast. When she finished, she went to head upstairs and wake up her guest. She was half way to the staircase when the door to her library burst open, as Rainbow Dash shot past, crashing into the bookshelf on the other side of the room.
“Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?!”
The Pegasus picked herself up from her crash and dusted herself off. “Well I didn’t see you around yesterday, so I thought I’d stop by, see if you were alright, borrow a Daring Do book or two…” She suddenly moved forward until her face was two inches in front of Twilight’s, her expression being one of anger. “…and maybe figure out why the hay you left me alone with Fluttershy to watch the stupid butterfly migration yesterday!”
Twiligth gasped in horror. “Oh no! That was yesterday?! I thought it wasn’t until next week! I can’t believe I missed it!”
“What the hay were you doing anyways?! Applejack didn’t see you around either and all I got from Pinkie when I asked was something about you being in canterlot. If you were going to go that far out of your way to skip out on Fluttershy, you should have at least taken me with you!” the Pegasus ranted in a fury.
“I was getting new books for the library, and helping deal with a minor family problem…and I didn’t want to skip the migration; I actually forgot about it.” the lavender unicorn defended.
“A family problem? Oh, hey, why didn’t you just say so in the first place? I wouldn’t come charging in here all fired up and stuff if I’d known that.” Rainbow Dash didn’t sound mad anymore…she actually sounded a bit sad and maybe a little embarrassed. “Family first and all…I totally get why you didn’t go. I mean, of course it had to be a family problem; the only other thing that could make you miss such an egghead-ish event as the butterfly migration would be the princess herself. So…I should probably get going then, see ya!” and with that Dash turned around and bolted out the door as fast as she could. Twilight simply stood there, staring out the door, unsure of what to make of what had just happened. Deciding not to dwell on it, she shut the front door, and resumed her task of fetching Calliope for breakfast.
*
“So what are we going to do today?” Celestia’s daughter asked the unicorn after swallowing a mouth full of hash browns.
“Well I’ve got to go apologize to my friend Fluttershy for missing the butterfly migration yesterday. I’ve got to ask a few ponies around town to give back some overdo books. I need to go to Sugarcube Corner at three to pick up an order…and of course, I need to introduce you to my friends.”
“You mean introduce ‘Cousin Vinyl Scratch’ to your friends, right?”
“About that…I was thinking that it might be helpful if we-”
“No. I refuse to tell anypony else about who I really am. Nopony can know, or all the hard work of keeping me a secret will be wasted.” The princess adamantly refused. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie fell from the ceiling, landing on the alicorn’s back. Her sudden presence startled both of the other ponies.
“But why would you want to be kept a secret?” She asked as she hopped off of the alicorn, whose body had yet to feel the force of her ever landing there in the first place.
“PINKIE PIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Twilight screamed in horror, as Calliope froze in terror at the sight of the party pony. She wasn’t wearing her glasses; her true form was completely exposed.
“Reconnaissance mission. I can’t throw a party if I don’t know what you’re cousin likes…but wowie, I never would have guessed you were related to Celestia’s daughter!” the Party pony gasped. “Wait! If she’s your cousin, and Princess Celestia is her mom, does that mean Luna’s your real mother, Twilight?”
“What…but…how did you…?” Calliope tried to form a coherent string of words to express her thoughts, but found herself incapable of doing so due to the sheer overwhelming amounts of shock and confusion in her current situation.
“First rule of dealing with Pinkie Pie: don’t try to figure out how she does what she does. It only causes problems.” Twilight declared, having managed to bounce back from the initial shock of her friend’s sudden arrival. “And don’t panic; I made a contingency plan just in case this happened.”
“You have a plan for this?!”
“Yep.”
“As in, you were expecting this to happen?!”
Twilight shrugged. “It’s Pinkie Pie; of course she was going to figure the secret out.”
“Yep, and now I’m going to be sworn to secrecy.” The pink pony in question said as she did a cartwheel past the two of them. When she came to a stop, she recited her signature rhyming promise. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“The plan works; crisis averted.” Twilight stated triumphantly.
Calliope gave the lavender unicorn a disbelieving look. “That’s your plan? She does a cartwheel and says a rhyme, and suddenly everything’s okay?”
“Not just any rhyme; my pinkie promise. And I never break a Pinkie promise, because nopony ever breaks a Pinkie promise, ever.”
“Oh, come on, somepony has to have broken their promise at least-”
“Ever.” Pinkie repeated, in a more forceful tone.
“So some silly little rhyme is supposed to automatically make it impossible for the promise to be broken?” The Princess inquired.
“It’s not the rhyme that makes promise be kept…” Twilight muttered.
“Besides, she didn’t even say what specifically she was promising…”
“I Pinkie promised to help keep your secret a secret as best I could, and I never break a Pinkie promise because nopony breaks a Pinkie promise, ever.”
“But-”
“Ever!”
The princess hung her head in defeat, already far too tired to continue arguing with the eccentric pink pony. “Fine…it’s not like I have any choice but to trust you, since the damage has already been done.”
“And for the record, she’s not really my cousin, Pinkie, that’s just part of the cover story.” Twilight added, as she resumed eating.
“Really? Well then hi there Twilight’s not-cousin; I’m Pinkie Pie!” The part pony said as she suddenly popped up between Calliope and the table.
“So I heard…” She scooted away from the pony, yet another expression of panic appearing on her face. She continued to back up until she felt herself bump into somepony. Startled, she whirled around to see who it was, but let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was just Pinkie Pie…
“Wait! How the hay did you…but you were just…” Her eyes darted back to see that Pinkie was no longer where she had seen her when she had bumped into her where she was now. The Alicorn’s head started aching from processing the information from the previous sentence.
“It makes more sense the less you think about it.” Twilight stated helpfully, sipping her morning tea as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
