“Thank you!” Autumn chirped, waving to the man behind the counter as she trotted back over to Maud. She was staring at a red arrow sign made of haphazardly put together metal that pointed up the road.
“Alright, so,” Autumn said, looking uphill. “This is Woodland Stable. He said we take that road there, hang a right, and follow it up until it splits, then head right again.”
“To Goron City,” Maud said, pointing at the sign.
Autumn blinked, then chuckled. “So it is.”
“I’m glad you got a better reaction out of him than I did,” Maud said, casting a side eye towards the stable as they turned up the path.
“Yeah, you’d think he’d never seen a pony before.” Autumn snorted. “He thought I was some sort of forest spirit or something.”
”We must remember, we are strangers in a strange world,” Maud said sagely.
“Yeah, if it weren’t for Princess Twilight’s Mirror of Twilight we wouldn’t even be here,” Autumn said. “It’s exciting though. A whole new world to explore.”
”And rocks to eat,” Maud agreed.
Autumn grinned. “Don’t worry. We’ll get to this bistro place and get you one of those roasted rocks in no time. Although…” She stopped to shield her eyes with a forehoof as she surveyed ahead. “Looks like quite an uphill climb.”
“Eldin is at the base of a volcano, and, from what I gathered, it only stopped erupting in recent years,” Maud said, staring at the looming mountain wreathed with clouds. “Countless years of lava have cooled and hardened to create this steep terrain.”
As they continued, they passed another sign, this one wooden and with arrows pointing two different directions down two separate paths. Autumn squinted at the writing as they went.
“’Lost Woods?’ Sounds like a fun place,” she remarked.
“Woods do not have rock roasts, generally speaking,” Maud said.
“You really are fixated on those roasts, huh?” Autumn asked.
“As someone who has grown up eating only rocks that have been candied or stewed in a soup, I am quite eager to expand my flavor horizons,” Maud explained. She looked to Autumn. “Are you not excited for any exotic foods?”
Autumn shrugged. “I just hope they have charcoal.”
As they began to exit the trees of the forest and made towards the barren soil of Eldin, there was a rustling to their right and an explosion of dirt. Maud and Autumn jumped back as one of the slender trees plucked out of the ground and marched towards them by its roots.
“Monster trees,” Autumn remarked. “That’s new.”
The tree reared back slightly before crashing down. Autumn pushed Maud away at the last second before skirting around the tree. Igniting a single hoof with nirikfire, she touched it to the trunk.
Instantly, the tree caught alight, flailing around in its plight before going stock still. It deteriorated down into a log, crashing to the ground and scattering apples and small nuts in its wake.
“Seems we have an early snack,” Maud noted.
“I don’t know if I trust monster tree apples,” Autumn said. “Who’s to say it hasn’t stopped trying to kill us?”
“Good point.”
Autumn skirted around the fallen log, leaving the fallen tree’s bounties for the animals as they continued to hike uphill. A rattling, clanking noise caught the kirin’s attention, and she noticed Maud’s stuffed pack and saddlebags.
“Hey, I could carry some of that stuff for you if you want,” she offered.
“No thank you,” Maud said. “I only packed the barest essentials for this trip. It is easy to manage.”
“I thought you were just in it for the roasted rock?” Autumn raised an eyebrow.
“The Rock Roast is just the beginning. Eldin is a geological gold mine, pardon the pun, with untold discoveries to be made. Even if we scoured the Dragonlands back home, we’d never see anything like it.”
“I see.” Autumn nodded. “You think there’s any lava still around now that the mountain’s stopped?”
“It might have pooled into underground caverns,” Maud replied.
“I’ve never tested if I could touch lava,” Autumn said with a giddy grin. “This could finally be my big chance to dip in a hoof—”
“No. I like that hoof,” Maud interrupted.
“But I didn’t even say which—”
Autumn found herself spun around, facing Maud. She was so close their muzzles were touching, while her eyes bored into the kirin’s.
“I like that hoof. I do not want it melted,” Maud stated again.
Autumn’s cheeks flushed and she nodded. After a moment more of staring, Maud turned and continued, and Autumn stumbled over herself to catch up.
The two glanced up at a sign, erected with a haphazard tripod of stakes to keep it upright.
“’Hudson Construction,’” Maud read.
“He must be popular. There’s a ton of these pallets with construction material around. Think they need to rebuild or something?” Autumn asked.
The next thing they passed was a broken down covered wagon, choked with vines. It had a broken wheel lying next to it, the yolk was facing towards the edge of a cliff and was horribly bent, and only the faintest tatters of cloth remained on the frame.
“I think so,” Maud said and continued on without a further glance at the wreckage. Autumn gulped and followed.
As they rounded their first corner, a sign with a pickaxe outline caught their attention. Autumn perked up and grinned at Maud as they stopped to read it. “Hey, that sounds like a mining company. Maybe they could use your expertise?”
“I’m probably overqualified for them,” Maud said.
Autumn giggled, then gasped. A butterfly with ashen grey wings and flame-like markings flittered down and landed on her muzzle. “Well, hello there little friend,” she said softly, crossing her eyes, looking down at it on her muzzle.
Maud reached into one of her saddlebags and produced a small guidebook. Though not too much was known of this world, Princess Twilight had managed to find another princess with a love of books, and had been handed copies of field guides for future explorers. Like the guide to native creatures that Maud had.
She flipped through the pages to the insects. “It’s a Smotherwing Butterfly,” she said. “Native to the Eldin Region. Says it’s incredibly heat-resistant.”
“You must like heat as much as I do, huh little guy?” Autumn asked. The butterfly’s only response was to flap away from its perch and down the hill.
Maud stowed her book away and watched it go before the two resumed their journey. The path ahead grew much steeper, though still manageable. The two stopped under a cliff at a leftward bend for Autumn to catch her breath.
“Phew,” she huffed. “There’s got to be an easier way to get around here. How do travelers in this world manage?”
“I’m starting to think we should have taken the monster tree’s apples,” Maud remarked, scanning downhill. A glint of light caught her attention.
Nearby, in a patch of what looked like gravel up against the cliff, was a large black rock that glinted in the sun. Maud approached it, giving it a sniff, before lightly tapping it with her hoof.
“What is it?” Autumn called.
Maud’s eyes lit up, though her expression remained neutral. “There are gems in here.”
And that was all Autumn got before Maud reared back with a forehoof and slammed it into the dark node, shattering it into rubble.
Several dark grey, jagged pieces fell to her hooves, along with a more rounded chunk of pinkish stone. There in the center of the pile was a crystal embedded in a rock, pearl-like in color and transparent.
Maud looked at each of the different rocks, identifying them on sight: “Flint, rock salt, and an opal.”
Autumn whistled. “Yep. Definitely overqualified.”
Carefully stuffing them away into her saddlebags, she turned back to Autumn. “Feel like continuing?” she asked.
“Yeah. I’m not really used to climbing mountains like this,” Autumn said with a sheepish smile.
“We should hang out more then.” Maud flashed a small smile at the kirin as she walked past, causing Autumn’s cheeks to flush again.
“Definitely,” she said in a tinier voice before following after her.
They passed a flat spot to the left of the hilly trail, flanked on the other side by a roundabout trail. Each had metal fencing, blue crates with a pickaxe logo that were full of rocks, and some equipment.
“They just leave this stuff out, huh?” Autumn remarked.
“Must be for ease of use,” Maud replied. “Perhaps no one else can use the equipment like they can.”
They passed several more sections of metal fencing, some with hard hats hanging on the posts, as the path curved back to the right. Nearly at the top of the hill, they spotted a piece of bone, easily as big as a cooking pot.
“Hate to see the thing that left that behind,” Autumn said.
“Looks like part of a spine,” Maud noted. “It would’ve been a large creature, yes.”
As they crested the hill, they took notice of a group of figures around a campfire near the hill’s opposite edge—and those figures quickly took notice of them.
A tall, skinny Moblin snarled, alerting the four Bokoblins around it. It stomped over to the pony and the kirin, sniffing curiously.
“Hi there,” Autumn said. “I sure hope you’re friendly.”
With a grunt, the Moblin scooped her off the ground for a closer look, unsure of what to make of the strange creature.
“You should put her down,” Maud said, slipping off her pack and saddlebags.
In a whoosh, the Moblin was holding a flaming nirik, who bared her fangs in a grin. “Personal space, buddy,” Autumn growled.
The Moblin cried out in pain, dropping Autumn as it frantically struggled to put itself out. Realizing they were in for a fight, the Bokoblins went for their weapons. Giving a war cry, they charged the two.
Maud simply turned about face as one Bokoblin ran up with its shield raised. Lifting her hind legs, she bucked the shield with rock-shattering force, launching the screaming Bokoblin over the edge of the hill.
Autumn inhaled and let out a jet of nirik fire, setting the other Bokoblins’ weapons alight. As they struggled to put them out, she lifted a nearby rock with her magic and launched it at one of the Bokoblins, sending him tumbling down the slope.
A third Bokoblin dropped its weapon in favor of scratching up a throwable rock, chucking it at Maud. She simply spun around and smacked it with her hoof as if she were playing baseball. It clocked the Bokoblin square in the nose. He tumbled away, disappearing over the edge as well.
The fourth one raised it’s still flaming weapons and charged Maud—only for Autumn to punch it aside the face with one flaming hoof. Set alight by the flaming strike, the Bokoblin frantically tried to put itself out. Maud took the opportunity to buck it over the cliff while it was distracted.
In the time it took for the two Equestrians to dispatch the four Bokoblins, the Moblin had finally put itself out. With an enraged snarl, it stomped over to them. It lifted one foot to stomp Maud, who merely sidestepped it. With a sharp crack, she punched the Moblin’s shin with the same force as the node she had broken.
Hobbling around in pain, Autumn took the opportunity to huck another rock at it with her magic. The monster caught the rock, to their surprise, and stumbled back from the force. With one final cry, it too, fell over the side.
“Lot of monsters around here,” Autumn remarked, her flames snuffing out with a huff. Maud simply nodded, going to retrieve her pack and saddlebags.
“Are you hurt?” Maud asked, shouldering them again and returning to Autumn, her eyes looking her over.
“Nah,” Autumn said with a chuckle, before being silenced by a peck to her muzzle.
“Good.” Maud flashed another small smile. “We shouldn’t be too far away now. Let’s continue.”
“Yeah. Let’s.” Autumn said quietly.
As they now continued down the hill as the way descended, they noticed bars of metal embedded in the ground across the path like grip points.
“These Gorons sure like their metal,” Autumn said, stopping briefly to tap one with her hoof and smiling at the clanging sound it made.
“It would stand to reason, in such an environment full of suitable heat sources and abundant minerals, that they would be adapt at smelting,” Maud said, glancing up at an all-metal lamppost they passed. The lamp itself consisted of a glowing stone in a metal bucket.
They passed more spine bones and flat spots where hard hats were hung on fence posts.
At the bottom of the path, they finally reached a cross-like metal shape in the ground with what looked like a bullseye in the middle. The path diverged two ways, with red metal arrows pointing both ways to guide travelers.
“Goron City to the left… and Bedrock Bistro to the right!” Autumn cheered. “We’re almost there!”
“Come, Rock Roasts await,” Maud said, moving a little quicker as she led them down the right path and under an arch with two more pickaxe symbols on it.
Ahead were a few pools of bubbling water, on each side of the path. An open air, stone building lay at the end of the path, with a molten, vaguely roast shaped object on top of it to denote what it was. A sign, wedged into some rocks to the right, had the outline of a roast in it.
Maud all but ran up to the counter, with Autumn quickly on her heels. A Goron in an apron and a chef’s hat stood behind the counter, looking curiously at the two approaching customers.
“Is this where the Rock Roasts are?” Maud asked.
The Goron blinked in surprise, then gave a hearty chuckle. “Why yes it is,” he said. “Name’s Cooke. Lucky for you, I have a few Rock Roasts left. They’re usually gone by now.”
“One please,” Maud said, staring intently at Cookie.
“That’ll be 20 Rupees and I can get one on the grill for ya.” Cooke gestured to the large flattop to his left, glowing red from the heat underneath.
“Rupees?” Maud asked.
“Dang it! I knew we should have looked into currency exchanges,” Autumn grumbled. “Would you take a gemstone?”
“A gem? Sure, depending on what it is,” Cooke said with a shrug.
Maud reached into her saddlebag and produced the opal, setting it on the counter.
Cooke gave a whistle. “Sure is a beaut. You got yourself a deal,” he said, taking the gem and picking up what could only be described as what looked like a cylindrical hunk of meat, with bones sticking out either end, but entirely made of rocks.
He plopped it on the flattop, and the cracks of the stony roast began to glow and smoke. Maud licked her lips as she watched it intently, while Autumn looked on, her head tilted out of curiosity.
After a few moments of cooking, Cooke took it off the flattop by its convenient handles. “Here ya go. Careful, it’s hot,” he said.
“I got it,” Autumn said, lifting it up in her magic. “Thank you!”
She gave a bemused smirk as, when she carried the roast to a handful of tables to the right of the bistro, Maud followed along behind it utterly transfixed.
When Autumn set it down, Maud sat down on a stony cushion that served as a seat. She sniffed the Rock Roast, salivating. “Rich, smoky scent.” Carefully, she leaned forward and bit into some of the stone, crunching it in her teeth slowly. “Dense mineral composition, coarse texture.” When Maud swallowed, a heavenly sigh escaped her, followed by several more ravenous chomps.
“I take it you like it?” Autumn asked with a chuckle. She laughed as the only response she got from Maud was a brief nod in-between chomps. Leaving her marefriend to her food, Autumn trotted back up to the counter.
“Can I get you a roast, too?” Cooke asked. “That opal’d cover two of ‘em.”
“No thanks. I like my food crunchy, but not that crunchy. Got any charcoal?” Autumn asked.
“Char… coal?” Cooke asked, scratching the back of his head. “Never heard of it. Only regular coal.”
Autumn’s gasp reverberated around the area. Cooke winced at the reaction.
“It’s the most delectable baked good the kirin know!” Autumn proclaimed. She reached into her saddlebag and produced a dusty, blackened lump of charcoal, offering it to Cooke. “Here, try it. I brought it from home. Made with real mesquite.”
Cooke took the small nugget and looked at it quizzically before popping it into his mouth. After a little bit of chewing, his eyes went wide as he swallowed.
“That… that was delicious! Such rich, smoky flavors! Crunchy like a rock, but such a different texture pattern! You must tell me how I can make more!” Cooke exclaimed.
Autumn beamed. “Well, you take some pieces of hardwood and put them in a small ventilated container, like a pot. Then you cook that pot in a hot fire for a few hours and then take it out and let it cool—that step is important. If you open it too early, the wood will combust,” she explained.
“Incredible,” Cooke said. “I’ll have to get some materials for the pot and fire… wonder if I could ask some Hylians for the wood…”
Maud walked over as Cooke trailed off, thinking to himself. She wiped a few pebble crumbs from her lips. “That was delicious,” she said to Cooke. “May I inquire about the recipe?”
“Huh? Recipe?” Cooke was snapped from his thoughts. “Oh, we don’t make Rock Roasts, only cook ‘em. You can find them in caves around here. In fact, if you follow those tracks over there, there’s a cave full of ‘em.”
Cooke pointed to the left of the restaurant, at a pair of dark metal trails that ran around a bend to the left. Autumn’s eyes widened.
“What are those tracks for?” she asked, her tail already swishing.
“Mine carts of course, for easier haulin’,” Cooke said. “Tell ya what. It’s not often I get such a rock enjoyer around here, one that’s not a Goron anyway, and as thanks for tellin’ me about this ‘charcoal,’ if you find any Rock Roasts, bring ‘em here and I’ll cook ‘em up for ya.”
Autumn squealed with delight, turning excitedly to Maud. “Can we ride the mine cart?”
Maud blinked once, then smiled. “I suppose the mining can wait for a mine cart ride.”
Autumn cheered, racing off to find the mine cart on the track, with Maud trotting along behind her. It seemed their outing to Eldin was just beginning.
Author's Note
Date of Creation (D.o.C.): 05/25/23
Would've been an entry into the May Pairings Contest, but crossovers aren't allowed.
I was mostly inspired to write this after clearing the Eldin region in Tears of the Kingdom and realizing that there's a pony who might like Goron cooking - and a good floof that could stand the heat.
The song I listened to while writing this was "Mount Magmeow" from the game Bowser's Fury
-yours truly,
The Legendary Bill Cipher, Equestria Enthusiast
