In Which Flash Sentry Commits Murder in Exchange for Carnal Pleasure
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In Which Flash Sentry Commits Murder in Exchange for Carnal Pleasure
Flash Sentry closed the door behind him, slid the deadbolt into place, and leaned back against it with a sigh. It had been a particularly rough night at work, and now he wanted nothing more than to strip down, crawl into bed, and pass out. His girlfriend would be gone for the day, out with Rarity to inspect another possible location for her debut boutique, and though he would miss her, he knew he would miss her a bit less when snoozing off the last fourteen hours...
"Hey babe. Can you come up here for a second?"
Speaking of his girlfriend...
Flash hung up his keys, gave a little wave to Gordon the Gecko (who still didn't wave back. Because gecko), kicked off his shoes, and headed up the stairs to the sleeping loft he shared with the fiery inter-dimensional traveler he'd fallen desperately in love with. He found her laying back on the pillows, idly scrolling on her phone... and still in her pajamas. "Hey you. I thought you'd be dressed by now."
"Yeah... well... I'm not. Dressed yet, I mean." Sunset laid her phone on her chest and smiled at him. "How was work?"
"Ugh, exhausting." Flash kneeled and settled on his knees at bedside before burying his face in the comforter. "These graveyards are killing me."
"Yeah. That sucks. Bummer." Sunset looked away and bit her lip. "Hey, weird question; do you want a blowjob?"
Flash froze, and then looked up at his girlfriend with a raised eyebrow. "Come again?"
"What?" Sunset's eyes darted around the room. "Can't I offer my boyfriend an after-work blowjob?"
Flash stared at her evenly. "What's wrong?"
"What do you mean what's wrong? Why does something have to be wrong?" Sunset picked up her phone and again started scrolling, pointedly ignoring Flash's even gaze. "I just think you'd enjoy a blowjob. That's all." Her eyes flicked at him. "Am I wrong?"
"...No. No, you're not wrong. I would actually very much enjoy a blowjob after the night I had."
"So, what's with the suspicious looks?" She patted the bed beside her without looking away from her phone. "Get up here and..."
"It's everything else that's making this strange." Flash pushed away from the bed and cupped his chin in thought. "You're awake, but not getting dressed when I know you're going out with Rarity today." He gave her a once over, noting her unkempt hair. "You haven't even showered yet."
"So? I can shower afterI give you a blowjob."
"And that's another thing; you never offer me blowjobs like this. You either just start taking off my pants, or make some cute innuendo, or start talking dirty..."
"I am talking dirty." Sunset pouted. "Talking about how bad I wanna give you a blowjob."
"That. That right there. You never just call it a blowjob." Flash eyed his girlfriend evenly, the wheels turning in his head. Her posture, her eyes, her pajamas, her hair... He snapped his fingers in sudden realization, then gave Sunset his most pitying look. "There's a spider in the shower, isn't there?"
"Okay, but you don't understand. It's a big one. HUGE. The fucking KING of the spiders." Sunset babbled as she sat up on her knees, tossing her phone to the side. "I tried to kill it. I swear I did, but the thing fucking looked at me, Flash. Right into my eyes." She shivered. "It's like it knows me."
Flash sighed, placing his face in his hands. "Sunset, you can't be serious."
"I swear to Celestia, Flash. It was just like that book Twilight gave me. The one about the shopkeeper giving people their deepest desires? And there's the one chick with the necklace and she thinks its herbs taking her pain away but it's really a huge fucking spider feeding on her pain? That. That spider is in our fucking shower and I will give you the best head of your life if you go kill it for me." She steepled her hands into a praying gesture. "I will suck your soul out through your dick."
"Sunset, I don't get it." Flash looked at her, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. "You have faced down literal interdimensional demons. Hell, for a minute there, you were a literal interdimensional demon. And you're afraid of spiders?"
"A really...big...fucking...spider." Sunset looked at him hard, punctuating each word to show how serious she was.
The couple held each other's gaze for a minute... until Flash laughed and shook his head. "Alright. You win. I'll kill the spider for a blowjob. Just don't tell Fluttershy. She still hasn't forgiven me for using those mousetraps."
"I promise. No telling. Also, blowjob. Now go kill." She waved him back the way he'd come. "Go now."
Flash gave a little bow, then stood and headed back down the stairs. He entered the small bathroom and pulled back the shower curtain.
The spider king stared up at him. All 0.377 millimeters of it.
Flash shook his head as he reached for a wad of toilet paper. "My apologies, your Majesty, but the lady fair can do things with her tongue you wouldn't believe." He stooped down and reached out towards the immobile arachnid. "The things I do for love." He whispered dramatically as he made contact with the tiny intruder and, with a little squeeze, committed arachnicide. He stood, checked the paper to confirm the kill, and tossed the whole thing into the toilet. Satisfied the deed was done, Flash flushed the toilet and turned...
...to find his girlfriend standing in the door, smiling.
He smiled back, reaching for his belt buckle. "Do I get my reward now?"
She smiled and nodded, her fingers joining in at the work below. "Thank you. For putting up with me. I love you."
"I love you, too."
"I know. Now... do you mind if we do this in the shower? I'm kind of running late and Rarity's already blowing my phone up."
He shrugged as his pants hit the floor. "Hey, whatever's best for you honey. I'm easy." She leaned in to kiss him, and his arms wrapped around her to pull her closer.
Her pajamas were already gone.
Author's Note
SUNSET SHIMMER and FLASH SENTRY will return in 'GET THIS RIGHT'
(This was a bit of nonsense that spilled out of my pen in forty five minutes while brainstorming the actual next chapter in my SunFlash saga. And yes, it is actually based on a true story.)
