Chapters Living the Dream: Beyond Canon
A innocent game of Gay Chicken
Author's Note
This oneshot contains an alternate interpretation of the chapter “Crossover of Consciences: KillJoy and Breaking Dawn: Part two” from “Living The Dream” by Kickass222urmom.
Okay, so the two main characters in this fic, Lance and Graze, are mentally ill and have voices talking inside their heads and to each other. Each pony has two consciences(basically shoulder angel and devil) that have their own unique typing quirk. The original story got pretty messy with how it was handled so I’m making it clear here.
Lance’s consciences:[Break talks like this.]
Graze’s consciences:{Joy talks like this.} ‘Lance’s internal thoughts will be written like this.‘
I hope you got that.
A innocent game of Gay Chicken
A Innocent game of Gay Chicken
~OHHHHH, HE JUST KILLED YO SEAGULL LANCE!~ Kill yelled out happily.[Fuck you! You haven't taken out..] Break began.
Graze looked up and smirked, "Sky eight."
I sat back, "And there goes my last weather pony."
Graze stood up happily, "I WIN AGAIN!"
I rolled my eyes, "I'll figure out how you won all those. There's no way somepony is that luck."
{Graze, your the best cheater ever!} Joy said. He then covered his mouth.
I glared at him, "AHA! I knew you was cheating!" I lunged towards him.
He moved to the side, easily dodging me.
I stood and glared hard at him, "I'm going to beat the hell out of you!"
He turned and ran down the hall, "If you can catch me."
[Get him Lance!]
I chuckled and chased after him down the short hallway.
He jumped through a door, the bathroom.
I followed him in and looked around. I didn't see him, but then I noticed the curtains were drawn. Idiot.
I galloped over to them and pulled them open.
Graze looked at me, standing on his hind legs, his front ones against the walls. A sexy pose. He let out a loud scream, "Oh my oh my! Perv!" He said in his best female voice.
I laughed and grabbed him, "I'll show you a perv!"
He kicked me in the gut, and I fell on my flank. He then ran out of bathroom.
[That was just wrong...]
I stood and chased after him. When I reached the living room, I saw him trying to stand up. Must have fallen over the board game.
I jumped on top of him and held him down.
[Revenge!]
Graze squirmed under my grasp, our limbs tangled like the root system of the great white oak. Despite all his strength he was having trouble getting free.
“Dude! Get off!” Graze yelled as he continued to struggle.
I laughed, “Make me.”
{Foolishly foolish as ever.}
A brief flash of darkness flared around his hoof. In the blink of an eye it slipped from my hold and found its target.
My jewels.
[Bro what the fuck! That hurt you little cheating fag!]
I was left shaking on the ground, holding my long ruined nutsack ‘The pain…’ supposedly immovable. That’s just how great I am.”
“...You’re gay.”
He stopped flexing his forelegs, “Excuse me?”
I slowly got up from the floor, “You’re a gay boy, Graze.”
A look snapped right onto his face. Zesty, boiled, angered. “The fuck I am! If anything YOU’RE the gay one! Trying to pin ME down!”
“I’m not the one that got a hoof full of my big greasy balls.”
[OOOOOOH! He’s got you there fuckboy!] {Why do I associate with any of you lot…?}
Graze snorted, “Well you’re gayer!”
I snorted back, “No you’re gayer!”
“No you!”
“No yoooooooou!”
“No, yoo-”
[HOLD IT!] {If we could settle this ‘issue’ without screeching like porch monkeys, I’d enjoy that very much.}
Graze and I hesitantly backed off. “So uh… how do we go about this?” He said.
[We should do something fun.]
Wait. I have an idea.
{I suggest we solve this with a more conventional method. We analyze all such homoerotisms and-}
“We should play gay chicken.” Great job Lance, I knew I could count on me.
“...”{...} <...> [What…? Shit! I mean-] [...]
I looked around confused. Why is everyone looking at me like that? “Why are you all looking at me like that?”
Graze looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel, “Lance… are you fucking serious? Gay chicken? ”
“What about it?”
That seemed to have floored him, “...What about it? What about it!?! The point was to prove who’s gayer, not do even more gay shit!”
Is he stupid? It seemed pretty obvious, “Yeah, but by playing gay chicken we can find out who’s gayer. The one that backs off last is the gay boy.”
Graze turned to walk away with a laugh, “Alright then, I’m out. See you later, fag.”
~Adios cocksuckers!~
I crossed my forelegs and grinned, “Okay. I see how it is then. You are a coward. A pussy .”
[PUSS-AY!]
He stopped in his tracks. Got him
Graze turned his head back and glared, “Excuse me?”
{Leave it alone Graze. There is nothing to prove.}
I fanned my hooves out in a ‘come at me bro’ gesture, “Maybe the last one to back out is ‘gay’, I can accept that…”
Confusion splintered down his face, “Okay so-”
I pointed a hoof right at him, staring him dead in the eyes, “But to back out without even trying?! That makes you a pussy of the highest caliber! A failure of a stallion like you doesn’t deserve Ditzy!”
“AGH!” Graze fell down to his knees, shock rattling though his body in a cody sweat.
I hit him where it hurts. His pride. The not gay kind.
~NOOOOOO!~[Can’t back out now, bitch! What would your marefriend think?!] {she wouldn’t, but when it comes to Graze’s pride…*sigh*}
Graze stomped his hoof into the floor, shattering it, “Fuck…! Fine! I’ll play this stupid little game and you’ll be the king of pussies when it’s over!”
[Hey! She makes great pancakes, so lay off!]
Graze and I started to circle each other. Neither of us backing out, but neither getting closer. One step forward would bring humiliation closer, but one step back would cast shame for all eternity. There would be no winners, only two losers.
I stepped forward.
Graze stepped forward.
Like sharks circling an imaginary prey, we slowly drew closer. We went from yards to meters, from meters to feet, our eyes never leaving the other’s.
I took another step forward, the smell of his breath becoming apparent.
He took a step forward, the nervous sweat on his brow now visible.
We both stopped mere inches away from each other, our snouts almost touching.
We waited.
And waited.
Neither of us could move any closer without our lips grazing the other. I’ve only ever been this close to Twilight before.
‘Shut it.’ I snapped back.
A light blush had dusted Graze’s cheeks, “Gonna pussy out, fag?”
The chills in my spine had me nearly rattling, but I held on, “Nope. I’m not backing out.”
He narrowed his eyes, “Neither am I.”
“Good.” I replied
“...”
“...”
~HEY BITCH BOY, QUIT STALLING AND START SMOOCHING!!!!!~[Yeah quit being fucking buzzkills! Pussy out or get it going on already!] {I want this over with. Now.}
Don’t think about it, just go in. Tilting forward the slightest bit, our lips made contact.
For two seconds.
Graze and I tore away from each other in disgust. I ran straight into the kitchen to wash my mouth in the sink.
[Oh no bro! Our street cred is ruined!] [He tasted like one of those fucking gym bro shakes! It’d be hot if it was Twilight, but with Graze it’s not tha- NOT HOT! AT ALL!]
Once I finished washing the shame out of my mouth I walked back into the living room. Graze was retching on the floor, a puddle of vomit right next to him.
I mustered up as much mirth as I could, “Looks like I won, Graze.”
He jumped right back up on his hooves, “What the fuck are you talking about?! We should be tied!”
I pointed right at the puke, “You took it worse than I did. Also, I made the first move, so that makes me the winner.”
~That’s fucking horseshit! Graze, we have to keep going!~{Noooo! Just accept that you didn’t win this moronic game and move on!} [Yeah! Pussy out! We may be gay but at least we aren’t a pussy faggot!] [I'm making ALL the sense! Graze looks like a fucking mare anyway, so we can pretend that we didn’t just cheat on our wife with another stallion.]
Graze’s face was a flat shade of red. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, I don’t know, “You already kissed me! Where do we even go from that! Cause I do not want to go in for another!”
I scratched my chin, that was a good question, “Yeah… there’s no point in kissing again, cause we know you’d lose.”
He moved one of the rugs over the pile of vomit. Rude, “Fuck off, Lance. We could always go back to training if you keep bitching.”
Err… no thanks. Now what’s gayer than a kiss?
[Oh I know! Pick me!] ‘What is it, Break?’ I thought[Sex!] ‘Twilight isn’t here.’ I replied [No! Sex with Graze! Measure up our dicks!] {ugh… fine. Since we are this far in you might as well put him in his place where it matters. He won’t be able to sleep at night knowing we’re bigger than him.}
Graze shook his head violently, “Come on! You got to be fucking joking! W-we already know I’m WAY bigger.”
I sat down on the floor, “Since you’re being such a pussy, I’ll do it first.”
‘Break, do your thing.’ I asked.[On it, boss!]
Suddenly a warm spread through my face… and my groin. Standing fully erect was my erection, throbbing.
Graze nearly broke his neck trying to look away, “Dude what the FUCK?!”
[How’s that for a cock?] {It looks so unnatural…} [It’s as natural as the sun, baby! This was a God given shlong!]
I let out a heavy breath, “Your turn, Graze…”
He jumped back, almost snarling, “No! I’m not-”
[Pussy!]
He started backing up, “I won’t-”
~Don’t fucking shame us Graze! It’s just a penis, you whip yours out all the time!~
He was shaking, “Come on…”
He stood, silent.
{If only you had backed out at the beginning, now everypony else wants you to strip in front of this manchild. We should just leave now Graze, Celestia would not-}
Graze erupted in a maelstrom of tribal black flames, an aura of pure rage, “FINE I’LL FUCKING DO IT!!!” He flexed his muscles and his clothes were consumed by the dark fire, leaving him buck naked.
Breathing heavily, he sat on his haunches,”T-there… I did it… Happy now…?”
I stared straight at his… area. It was…
[CHODE ALERT! We got a 5.5 on the dichtor scale! Oooooh!] {How shameful. Beaten by the halfbreed.} [Hell yeah BZC!]
Graze and I sat across from each other, both fully erect and flustered. Neither of us wanted to go further.
But we must.
I rattled my brain for an answer. Hmmn, that could work.
[Here we go.] [Cause we ain’t fucking cowards!]
I looked over to Graze, “I think we should… touch, or something…”
His eyes glazed over, “...Really? Celestia damn it….”
I tensed up, preparing for what was to come, “We gotta.”
“...”
We started scooting closer together until we were in front of each other again. Our meat sabers hovered around each other, two snakes without a snake charmer.
Without a word, the tips touched, sending a jolt down my spine. For whatever reason, that felt really… good.
[Don’t think like that Lance! Imagine it’s Twilight’s! Hold it together!] {If that’s how he copes then I do not want to see what else your freakish brain can conjure up.}
Graze let out a grunt, “Bro…”
I could feel him throbbing against me. The heat radiated off of him brought me a comforting warmth. This experience was bringing things out of me I didn’t know existed. It was too much to bear.
Maybe I hit my head earlier, but I kinda wanted to keep going. “...Graze.”
He seemed to be in a similar state. He stared at me with half lidded eyes, face nearly as red as his mane, “Yeah…?”
I felt him twitch against me, giving me the courage to continue, “...Remember what Break said earlier? I think we should uh… try that. To show who’s more of a stallion of course.”
Graze must be as dazed as I was, cause the fight from earlier was nowhere to be seen, “Of course. Right. So… who does who…?”
[We’re on top!] [This is your chance to win bro, receiving is way fucking gayer than giving!] {I say we go on top. I want to retain as much dignity as I can with this foolish game. Graze will not be the bottom.}
Graze shot up, “Heads! Ha, got you!”
Shit. I was gonna choose heads, “Yeah yeah. Let me find a coin.”
Looking through the various drawers I found one of Dali’s foreigner coins, a Dinner, I think it was called, and flipped it.
Just as it went up, it came back down and landed. It landed on its side, a side that was a… side.
Graze looked over at the coin, “What side is that?”
Before I could say anything, Break took over and spoke for me, “It’s tails bro. Totally tails. ”
Graze narrowed his eyes, “Are you sure?”
[Don’t fuck this up Lance.]
I see how it is, you little cheater, “Yeah man it’s tails. Dali told me all about the dinner coins. It's from her homeland.”
[Don’t care.]
Graze’s eyes shrunk to pin pricks when he realized what that meant.
[Butt time!] {We finally agree on something.}
I somehow felt myself get even harder, I was way too excited for this, “Come on Graze, time to spread ‘em. Unless you want to back out?”
He turned his head away and huffed, “Fucking… just get it over with.”
He walked over to the couch and laid down, presenting his hindquarters
[Holy fucking shit that’s a motherfucking bakery!!!] [Gonna tear that ass up!] [No problem bro.] {I’m going to lose it.}
I stood there admiring everything. From the roundness of his flank to the wrinkles on his balls. I always thought this would gross me out, but something about Graze is driving me crazy. It’s like his body is begging me to fuck him.
Graze turned his head to glare at me, but unintentionally wiggled his flank in a way that made me even hornier, “Stop looking and just fucking get it over with already!”
I chucked, ready to oblige, “If say so, Razor Gays.”
Whatever it was he was about to say was stopped when he felt my member against his entrance, ready to penetrate.
[Fuck that! We going in raw!] {No no that is not proper sexual conduct. Lance, you need to-}
Graze’s puckered ring offered some resistance, but the slightest push revealed its hungry nature. The tip of my 7.5 inch footlong disappeared into his colon. What a heavenly feeling it was.
He let out a gasp as he felt me take away his anal virginity. It was his first time with another stallion, normally something that would send him frothing in rage, but from the way his penis spasmed and how his internals pulsated, he loved it. Graze was mine.
~Break, I gotta be honest with you… I’m getting such a sick hard on right now.~[I’m one fat boner ahead of you man!] {I’m gonna fucking lose it. I hate this.}
This was so hot. I had to go deeper, “Ready for some more? Want me to pound the shit out of you?”
Graze softly nodded, as if he couldn’t trust his voice. That was all I needed.
I rammed all of my length into his ass. I felt piddling resistance, like it was as my dick was made to claim Graze’s hole, the perfect key. The insides of his intestines radiated such a heat that it felt almost uncomfortable, but it was at the perfect level that melted all the stress out of my muscles. The bumps and waves of his colon swayed in a harmonic rhythm that I almost came right there.
On the other end of the pleasure spectrum, Graze let out a loud moan, before he snapped his snout shut. But it was too late, He already revealed he loves taking it like a mare.
~HOLY FUCK!!! GRAZE’S MOANING LIKE A FAG, LIKE A FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!!!~[HOLY FUCKING CHRIST!!! DICKED, DICKED YO WHAT A MOTHERFUCKING SLUT!!!] {...}
I left it at full hilt so he could adjust to my length, but with the ease it went in I don’t think that’ll take long, “It just slid right in Graze. Are you sure you haven’t gotten experimental before?”
He sputtered, “No you fag, you just have a skinny dick! I can barely feel it!.”
To challenge that, I slowly withdrew my member, making sure it rubbed against all the right areas on the way back. Graze tried to hold it in, but he let out another moan, “Are you sure about that? You sure sound like you can feel it.”
He growled at that, “Why are you taking your sweet time?! Just cum and go already!”
I slowly started moving my hips back and forth in a rhythm, making Graze go back to holding his snout shut, “Don’t worry Graze, I’m going to fill you to the brim. Prove who’s the real faggot.”
“You’re the real faggot!” He shouted in a half moan.
[Since we're on the topic, I can scientifically prove that this isn’t that gay.] {Yes, Break, enlighten us. Tell me how Graze being sodomized isn’t homoerotic.} [It’s called my patented Third Ball Theory.] {And I’m already left disappointed.} [I FUCKING know that, but this applies to more than just us! It applies to every stallion!] [Okay okay, so you guys know about all that third eye bullshit? Magic faggotry and all that?] {I am vaguely familiar with the idea.} [Alright alright, listen to this, and hear me out. What if… the prostate was ACTUALLY the third testicle.] [I fucking know right?! By stimulating the prostate, we’re actually enlightening ourselves! It brings us closer to God!] {If anything this incident has proved to me that there is no God.}
I kept pumping into Graze, the pressure in my groin growing steadily, ready to burst. For one last tease, I stopped right before I hit the edge.
Graze has noticed, as his symphony of moaning had drawn flat, only for a flustered rage to overtake him, “Why the fuck did you stop?! Don’t tell me you’re stopping now?! Faggot!!!”
Oh he wants it badly, “Beg for it.”
I’m wasn’t sure if it was possible for anypony’s face to get that red, but he sure proved me wrong, “Fucking. What?!”
I moved my dick just the slightest bit, too slow to bring true pleasure, but just enough for him to want more, “If I came in a guy’s ass, that would make me gay, no doubt about that. You would be proven to be the straighter stallion, but I won’t let it happen that easily. I want you to earn that victory. Tell me you want my cream filling.”
[Bruuuhhhh! Get topped!] [Haha, Graze is way too loose for that now, faggot!] {One more day. One more day here and I can forget this ever happened when we go back to our dimension.}
Graze glared right back into me, but it lacked its usual heat, “Cmm..n.. e…”
I spanked him, startling him, “What was that? Speak up.”
[Smack that ass bitch! I want those cheeks burning brighter than the fucking sun!] [Real gross, Dawn.]
Graze spoke up again, a little louder this time, “...Dude, just cum in me already. Stop playing around.”
Not quite what I wanted. Let’s try something else. I reached my hoof around him and grabbed his stallionhood, it already lathered up in precum. He started shivering at the touch as I slowly jerked him off, “One more time, for me?”
Something in Graze clicked, cause he went from being putty under my hooves to a raging bull. He slammed his ass all the way down my shaft, catching me off guard. The motion carried over as I was flung down to the floor, shaft still buried deep within Graze. Showing a side of him I’ve never seen before, he bounced all over my cock. His own member flinging precum everywhere as it wagged through the air.
A lustful look had replaced the shame from earlier, he was all in, “How that for a fucking answer?! Give me your cum already! Put it in my ass!”
[Oh my God, Graze is a full on slut! This is making me really fucking hard.] {I am not. Thanks to your filthy degenerate freak of nature, Graze has turned into a faggot, a cocksucker if you will. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH REPROGRAMMING I WILL HAVE TO DO?!} {Oh certainly.}
The assault of Graze’s insides on my outsides put me in a tenuous spot. The pressure from earlier came back in full force. I couldn’t hold on anymore, “G-graze, I’m gonna…!”
Sensing that I was at my limit, he started to go even faster, “Gonna cum already? Fucking weaksauce. Whatever bro, pump me full, like the gaytard you are!”
[He’s gonna blow!]
Right as I peaked, Graze slammed down to the base of my stallionhood. Cum had erupted from my cock, flooding his ass womb with my baby batter. The muscles of his ass pulsed in unison as if to milk as much as he could from me. At that moment Graze and I felt as if we were one.
~BRO YOU CAME THAT MAKES YOU GAY!!!~[Hey retard! You don’t bounce on a dick like that unless you were a fag yourself!] {At least this is over.}
Graze and I remained there, panting heavily. All the energy in me had been sucked out, “he… I guess you win. You’re less gay than I am…”
Suddenly he stood up, my half flaccid cock popping out of his ass, unsealing the liquid inside. Cum dripped down his legs, but he was still as hard as before, “I’m not done yet.”
What did he mean by that? “Dude, you won. You’re not a coward and you're not gay, what more do you want?”
Suddenly, he lifted up my legs, leaving my own ass exposed to the air. I didn’t have the strength to move, “I didn’t fucking cum yet! Your ass is mine!”
~How the turntables, bitch!~ {It’s only fair to expose you to the same shame as you did us.} [Fuck! This is just like the barn again!]
Graze’s already rock hard member suddenly became even harder, “It’s time to go full Killjoy.”
~Oh boy I’m so giddy!~{Ready on your command.}
Black veins suddenly spread across his stallionhood, enlarging it by another few inches. It glowed in a blindingly white darkness.
[Oh fuck it’s a BBC!]
“PREPARE FOR THE NECROFLARE COCK!” Without another moment’s notice he hilted all the way inside me, his cock disappearing in my depths.
An almost indescribable feeling washed over me, both pain and pleasure overwhelming my senses. Unlike my earlier rhythms, Graze’s were completely chaotic and rough, pure primal instinct.
[Ah! The memories!]
Everytime he jabbed against my prostate, an almost electric feeling tingled through my body. My moans were drowned out as Graze’s passion became my world. This single ordeal makes all past incidents with horses feel negligible.
With no warning of any kind, Graze’s lips slammed into mine. In a complete contrast to earlier, this kiss was long and drawn out. His tongue was begging to enter mine. In the heat of the moment I obliged.
~Bro you can’t make out that’s gay! That makes you a fag! We were winning!!!~{And we’ve lost him again.} [Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!] [Trust me, Twilight would be BEYOND nuke level rage, but there’s another issue.] {What would be worse than a wrathful mare?} {You think you know a pony.} [Y-Yeah! Frederic is like a brother to us! We know him better than anypony else! He wouldn’t hurt a fly!]
As Graze pounded away at me, I could feel him pulsing inside of me. He was close to the edge already. Two pump chump much?
He pulled his lips away from mine, giving me a chance to breathe. He then lowered himself next to my ear, “Ready for cumtown, fag clown?”
I didn’t get a chance to answer as he hilted himself as far into me as he could, warmth shooting into my bowels. Enter the cum dungeon, player character:Graze’s cock.
It felt like an eternity, but the flow slowed down. Pulses turned into shivers, then nothing. We lied down on the floor next to each other, both of us exhausted and covered in sweat.
Graze looked me in the eye and smiled, “How about a draw, huh?”
Before I could do anything, somepony knocked at the door.
YVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVY
“...Then Ditzy came over and found you two all huddled up and covered in cummy goodness! Fortunately for you two she was pretty understanding of the situation and the story goes on as it did in the original! So! How did you like my interpretation of events! There was NO way you two just played four ‘intense’ hours of Battleship! It’s not even close to realistic! Plus the two of you had such a cute chemistry that I had to write it down and host it on the LTD fansite, where it got soaring reviews! AHEM! Anyways, what did you think? Was it good? Did you like the lore details I snuck in there? Did ya, Mr. Greenfield?” The crazy mare said as she finally stopped yammering after several hours of her story.
“What…” I said, in complete shock<...The…> [...FUCK?!]
I was not ready for any of this. When the young mare in front of me, Babel Yarn, had asked if she could have an interview with me regarding the contents of my book, I foolishly accepted. I thought it would be a cute little interview about a few of the plotholes my messy writing had left in there. But no, it was not like that at all. She had spent several hours reading off smut regarding me and my friends as I sat there too utterly astounded to stop her.
[Finally it’s over! Oh my God! I can never think about that douche again without this fucking story jumpscaring me!] [Makes me want to bleach my fucking brain!]
Babel sat there excitedly for my response, that goofy grin never leaving her face. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but…
[Fuck her feelings! What about this fucking headache I’m struggling with?! Like her depiction of me felt so out of character!] [I still don’t know why she knew what our dick looked like!]
Better make this quick, “Well there are a few details that were off…”
She gasped and started violently flipping through her notebook, “What did I get wrong?! Ooo! Tell me so I can correct this! I want it to be as lore accurate as possible! A true dreamer never neglects lore!”
I shook my head, “No! No, no, no… It’s the whole story. I have not had sex with Razor Graze at any point in time.”
Babel deflated a bit, “Oh drat! I really thought I was onto something…” She suddenly brought out a walkie talkie and turned it on, “Dreamers, I am sorry to announce that theory ‘Grazorkon’ is a bust.” What sounded like several voices in despair emanated from the device, before she flipped it back off.
I tried to smile through the pain, “Contents aside, your writing ability isn’t too bad. You have some real talent there. Way better than I was at your age.”
[It fucking sucked!]
Even if they were covered up by those thick glasses, I was still nearly blinded by the sparkles in her eyes, “REALLY?! Oh gosh I never thought my writing would be praised by one of the main characters of LTD! Here! I got TONS of other fan theories you can correct for me!”
Seemingly out of nowhere, the mare had pulled an entire pile of paper, along with several cork boards covered in all kinds of incriminating photos.
[No! You fucked us Lance! Now she’ll never leave!] [You FUCKING think?!]
As the fangirl babbled about her next story, I resigned myself to my fate. One last thought passed through my mind as my eyes glazed over.
‘At least it won’t all be smut… I hope.’
Living the Dream: Beyond Canon
Author's Note
This chapter was written at some point in 2012. For context I was being pressured to continue LTD, but I had zero interest in doing so. Eventually I wrote part of this chapter, but never finished it.
Unused Part 3 opening
Well, I’m going to start this back up, but since Iron Clad has his story going, I’ll skip a little farther into the story. So, if you want to know what happens in the rest of “Part 2” you’ll need to read his story.
What I’m doing is something I’ve been wanting to do since chapter 24. Part 3 of Living the Dream. The part that centers around Spark and his adventures. Oh yes, this will be much better than the adventures with Lance.
Before anyone ask, yes, the whole crew will still be in, but they won’t be the main focus anymore.
And lastly, my grammar and sentence formations have improved greatly. So no more crappily written chapters (Well, they may still be crappy, but they’ll be correct at least)
So, let’s get Part 3 started.
Chapter 1 (Chapter 134)
11 years later, 2024, June 2, Saturday. Spark, age 14 (Almost an adult by pony standards)
“Hey! Wake your ass up, Spark!” an all too familiar voice yelled, forcing me to slowly wake up. “You don’t want to sleep away your entire summer, do ya?!”
I groaned and threw the covers off me, but didn’t get up. “Why can’t you just let me sleep in?!”
“Because, if I do that, you’ll just waste your summer. Trust me, you’ll love the extra time you have in the mornings.”
I sighed and slowly rolled out of bed. After rubbing my face, I looked towards the doorway, where my dad stood. “Yeah, but college doesn’t actually start until August! I have plenty of time to sleep in!”
“You’re already up,” dad said with a smug look as he started closing the door. “Breakfast is ready, so hurry up before it gets cold.”
I pay him hardly any attention as I walk over to my mirror and checked my manes status. And as I thought, it was a mess. Nothing a quick shower couldn’t fix though.
And with that, I left my room and turned to the right to go to the bathroom. After walking down the short hallway, and taking a small turn, I arrived at the bathroom... only to find it occupied.
With a loud groan, I banged my hoof against the door.
“I’m in here!” Fawn yelled from behind the door in an annoyed voice.
Fawn’s in the bathroom? Ugh! She takes forever when she goes in there!
“Fawn!” I yelled back as I slammed my hoof against the door again. “Hurry up! I want to get this shower over with!”
“Can it, Spark! I just got in here!”
“Ugh!” I banged my head against the door and groaned. Looks like my shower would have to wait.
Reluctantly, I walked back down the hall and descended the stairs. About halfway down them, I heard my mom laugh at something, followed by the sound of pots and pans hitting the floor.
“Damn it, Kara!” I heard dad yell, followed by mom laughing again.
Curious as to what could be happening, I stepped into the kitchen.
Inside the kitchen, Kara was flying around near the ceiling, a piece of paper in her beak. Meanwhile, dad was trying to catch her, but was clearly outmatched in flying skills in such a small space.
“What’s going on?” I asked aloud.
“Oh, a letter came in the mail today for your dad,” my mom began. “But before he could read it, Kara flew by and stole it.”
“Why?” I asked out of curiosity as I watched dad slam into the roof a few times.
Mom shrugged. “It could be because your father wouldn’t buy her that Deluxe bed the other day.”
“Ah,” I said with a nod.
“Kara!” dad yelled as he slammed into the wall again. After a few more seconds, he gave up and landed on the floor.
“
Living the Dream: Beyond Canon
I’m sorry to everyone who has a character in this story. I will be ending this quickly, and there will be a lot of unhappy endings.
Also, as a change, this will be third person, not first person.
Fair warning: I do not suggest reading this if you like any of the characters. Because there is only one way to end this for good, and I think you know what that is.
This is the end: Chapter 1 (Chapter 134)
Every good thing must come to an end. No matter what it is, it will eventually end.
The same goes for people. All good people will eventually die. It doesn’t matter who they are, or what they’ve done. They’ll all die, this being a normal ending, or being a horrible ending.
Even the things you love, that being a person, a show, a book. It all ends in time.
The same goes for ponies. They will all eventually die, even if they have the ability to live forever. Sooner or later, time will claim them.
Even Lance, the one who has escaped death time and time again, will die.
Nothing can be done to prevent this....
Or can there?
One year after the events of act two (Which were never told)
Canterlot, the royal city of Equestria where the two royal sisters and their spouses rule. One of the more peaceful parts of the land. Or, so it is thought.
Deep down in the bowls of this city, there is a group. A group who formed at the beginning of the brony invasion, the time when the humans known as bronies started appearing in the land. This group, it’s intentions of evil, was formed to assess this new threat.
Even after the bronies became part of normal life, the group remained. Their eyes closed to them, only seeing them as invaders.
During this group's existence, they’ve formed many bonds, gained followers, and most notably, brought about the resurrection of an old foe.
As the saying goes; the things you despise the most always finds a way to return to you.
Canterlot streets, midnight
Alone in the dark streets, a lone figure walked. Their head held downward, with something in their teeth. Their intentions unknown.
They stalked through the night, keeping to the shadows.
As they reached a house, it’s windows dark, they trotted up to the door. A light glow engulfed a piece of paper, which lifted up to the door and a knife, removed from the teeth of the figure, pressed into it, sticking it to the door.
They then quickly stole into the night, leaving the house and the paper behind.
Canterlot, morning
As the sun crept into the room, coming to a stop on Lance’s face, Lance Greenfield sat up and yawned.
He looked around the brightly lit room and rubbed his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. After a short while, he slide out of bed and set about doing his morning routine.
Once he finished up, he goes downstairs to find his wife, Twilight Sparkle, asleep on the couch, a book in front of her. He smiled and thought waking her, but decided against it.
Instead, he walked into the kitchen and made a quick breakfast. He quickly made and ate a few pancakes before leaving the kitchen and walking back into the living room.
In the living room, he ran into his son, Spark Greenfield, who looked to have just woken up.
Lance smiled down at his son. “Goodmorning, sleepyhead.”
Spark looked at him and shook his head. “Be quiet dad...”
Lance chuckled and rumbled up his sons mane. “Someone get up on the wrong side of the bed?”
“Shut up...” Spark groaned as he walked past Lance and into the kitchen.
Lance smiled at his son and turned to walk for the front door. He opened it and walked out.
When he was outside, he took a deep breath and smiled. He turned to close the door, but was taken back by a piece of paper stuck to his door by a knife. Confused, he used his mouth to pull the knife out and pulled the piece of paper off of it.
He lifted the paper to his eyes and read over it.
Are you ready, brony?
“What the...” Lance said with a raised eyebrow as he read over it again.
Off in the distance, a figure stood, a smirk on it’s face. “So it begins.”
Canterlot palace
“So, you found this on your door?” Frederic asked, as Lance stood in front of him.
“Uh-huh,” Lance said with a nod. “But I don’t know why it was stuck to my door.”
“Well, you have made a few enemies in the past,” Frederic stated.
“True, but...” Lance began before hearing the door to the chamber open.
As they looked to see who had entered, they saw Greg, a note in his magical grasp.
“Okay, who’s the motherfucker who stabbed this piece of crap into my door?!” Greg asked in an annoyed voice, stomping towards Frederic and Lance.
Greg, the stoner of the group, or he use to. As of recent, he has stopped smoking weed, as he finally noticed the effect it was having on him after long term and continues use.
“You too?” Lance asked as he turned towards Greg.
“Me too what?! I just want to know who the bitch is who stuck this to my door!” Greg half yelled at Lance.
“Well, I guess you’re not the only one, Lance,” Frederic noted, looking between the two. “I wonder if the others have gotten something like this?”
“But I do wonder,” Frederic began. “Is what the purpose of this is? There is no demands, or anything asking us to do something. It’s just plainly asks if you’re ready.”
“But with your past and terrible luck, we’re taking this as a threat,” Shining Armor said as he walked into the chamber. He had apparently been listening in on the conversation.
“What are you going to do about it?” Lance asked.
“Simple,” Shining Armor began. “We’re going to send out a few guards to ask questions, and we’re going to examine those pages. If the ink is still fresh enough, we’ll be able to...”
As he was talking, Star Chaser, Frederic’s son, walked into the chamber with a note in his mouth.
“Dad, me and Nova found this on your window in the study,” he said, giving the paper to his father.
“I know, Lance and Greg have gotten the... same...” he trailed off as he read over the paper. “Never mind, this one is different.”
“It is?” Lance asked, taking a step closer to Frederic.
“Yes,” Frederic said as he levitated the paper over to Lance.
Lance snatched it from the air and placed it on the floor to read.
“It starts with five,” Lance read aloud.
“What’s that mean, dad?” Star Chaser asked, a confused look on his face.
“Go back to your room, Chaser,” Frederic said, giving him a look that demanded he obeyed.
As Star Chaser quickly left the chamber, Shining Armor spoke up.
“It starts with five? What’s that suppose to mean? Are they saying they’re going to take five bronies, or something?”
“I do not know,” Frederic stated.
“Sounds like some crazy shit is about to go down,” Greg said with a nod as he looked at everyone.
“Indeed,” Frederic said. “I think our first action would be to gather all the bronies in this area and keep them safe. There haven’t been any new ones lately, have there?”
Lance shook his head. “No, there’s been a few who have came through here, but none of them have stayed. So it’s still just all of us, luckily.”
“Good, this makes it easier on us.” Frederic looked at Lance. “Lance, I want you to gather your family and bring them here.”
Lance gave a nod.
“The same goes for you Greg,” Frederic said, looking at Greg.
“Can do,” Greg acknowledged.
“And after you’re done with that, I want you to gather the other bronies here, okay?”
“Easy,” Lance said with a nod.
“Sure,” Greg chuckled.
“Good, now go. We have work to do here,” Frederic ordered as he and Shining Armor quickly made off for another room.
As Lance turned to head out of the chamber, Greg spoke.
“Just like old time?”
Lance smiled. “Just like old times.”
???
“Oh? They’re moving? Excellent. They’re doing everything we thought they would.”
“Should I tell him?”
“Yes, tell the master that we’re ready to begin phase one.”
“Does that mean you’ll be going...”
“Yes, it does. Now go and tell him while I prepare!”
“Yes... of course...”
Canterlot
Cody walked down the street, his mail bag strapped across his back.
He had just finished his run for the day and was planning on heading back to his house, as it was getting late.
“Hey, Cody!” a stallion off to the side of the street called out.
Cody looked his way and waved, “Hey, Cloud Hoof, having a good day?”
“Sure am,” he called back with a chuckle as he walked back into his shop.
Cody smiled and continued on his way.
After a few more minutes of walking, he arrived at his house, which he shared with his wife and son.
He trotted in through the door and put his bag next to the door. “Ditzy, I’m home,” he called out as he walked into the kitchen.
He picked up a apple and took a bite out of it as he trotted into the hallway.
“Ditzy? You home yet?” he yelled out as he bite into the apple again and stepped into the living room.
“They’re not home yet, luckily,” a voice suddenly said.
Before Cody could react, a field of magic enveloped him and slammed him downward into the hard floor.
“This was easier than expected,” the unidentified pony said with a laugh.
Cody tried to say something, but was unable to due to the magic holding him.
“You’re in for one crazy ride, filth,” the pony said.
A second later, a dark veil fall over Cody’s face, followed by a pulse of magic.
Five minutes later
Lance ran down the street, heading for his moms house.
He had already retrieved six of the other bronies, and luckily, his mother was the last one.
Living the Dream: Beyond Canon
Discarded Part 3 Prologue
Prologue
You know, if you would have told me... no that’s a terrible way to start a story.
It all started... and that’s just cliché.
Once upon a... now I’m just digging for an opening.
You know what, screw it. My name is Scamp, I’m a rather small, barely shorter than any other pony mind you, dark blue Earth pony mare who has been through hell. There’s plenty of ways for me to tell my story, but to be honest, I don’t think words alone will be enough. And since I don’t have the money to make a movie... this book will do. Hell, this could be an homage to the book that originally got me involved in this mess.
Anyways, I didn’t have the worst of upbringings, in fact, my younger years were filled with learning and fun. When I was younger, I liked to play up the “Tough Filly” personality. No acting like a little filly for this mare! I once knocked a colt out just because he said I would look cute in a dress. Actually, I think he was just trying to flirt with me, but screw it, he had it coming. I think.
I’m off track, you’re not here to know about me. I’m a nobody. You’re here to hear about my adventures, or more specifically, my adventures with a certain stallion. You probably want to know every little detail, nothing left out. And I’ll tell you this, you’ll get it and more. I may just be a simple mare, but I’ll tell you this; This gal got some skills!
What’s that? You want to know about my skills? No? Good, I’ll tell you!
My younger years were filled with me playing detective, going through my mother's court cases, she was a lawyer, and making up my own notes and cases for the ponies she represented. Well, one day I was inspired to stop playing make believe and get serious. I devoted myself to a certain case, the famous case of “Lance Greenfield”. Yeah, that name get ya going? Make your eyes widen? Good, that means we’re getting somewhere.
I’ve dedicated my life to the pursuit of this case, even though it ended when I was still just a filly; he was found guilty and sentenced to three life sentences. Now, I’m not trying to prove he didn’t kill that idiot, because it’s obvious he did. No, instead I’m wanting to prove that his book, which has been given the title ‘Living the Dream’, is real. Why, you may ask? Because, if it is real, I think it is unfair how it ended. With Lance being sent back in time and forced to undo his whole life and suffer. That’s just cruel and unfair!
Fuck that!
Before I go off on another rant, I’ll move on.
Other than all that detective type work, I’ve also had a few real jobs over the years. My first job was as a waiter, kind of a tribute to my idol. Yeah, that job sucked... big time. My second job was actually the best job I’ve ever had; a journalist for a pretty popular news outlet, run by humans. I picked up some rather unique skills working that job. Sadly, I lost that job due to a politician getting angry about one of my ‘reveal’ articles. What? I thought a classic sex scandel would be eaten up by the masses. I didn’t know that was his wife, I honestly thought he was having an affair. Probably should of avoided taking the pictures, probably could of kept that job otherwise...
My third and final job was a bust. I tried to join a job that the humans had created, which was rather similar to the Royal Guard. I forget it’s name, but they were basically Royal Guards for a single pony. The pony in question is the human’s leader, their president. The reason I failed at this job was because I tackled the president when I thought a pony had a knife... but it was just a pen. My bad.
Since I’ve mentioned humans, I think I should let you all know that I’m an EXPERT on the human’s culture. Yep, I have a very good idea on their lives before they came to Equestria. But sadly, I was born in the wrong era. Most of the original humans who arrived here are either old or gone. It had only been like 30 or so years ago when they arrived, but these human’s have a knack for getting themselves killed. Or thrown in prison. I mean, we have a freaking jail just for humans, and it’s practically filled to the brim! So I’ve had to get most, if not all, of my information from books they’ve written.
At the time of my last job, I was just 16. Which was only six years after I decided to invest my life into the chase of Lance Greenfield.
Now, I could go on and on about myself, but like I stated above, you’re not here for me.
I think I’m going to write this just like Lance’s autobiography, and we’ll see where that takes us. The start of my story takes place when I was just 20 years of age, just to clear things up.
Now, buckle up fillies and colts, it’s going to be a hell of a ride!
Living the Dream: Beyond Canon
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Living the Dream: Beyond Canon
Author's Note
Written by the marvelous Yamston.
Cringepasta
“Not funny. Didn’t laugh.” I lazily closed the tab.
Today I happened to wake up a few hours early before I needed to leave for work, and unfortunately I couldn’t fall back asleep. So here I am goofing around to pass the time.
Along the way I got distracted by a few Family Guy funny moments compilations. They were pretty shit to be honest. Like, I was moderately entertained, but it felt empty. Know what I mean?
Before I could do anything else, a notification popped up on the lower right half of the screen. To be more specific, I got an email from a nondescript fanfiction hosting site.
A quick glance into the email tab told me all I needed to know. One of the fanfics I used to follow has been updated. I don’t even remember the last time I had received one of these. As I grew older I stopped reading fanfiction, and the ones I did read either finished or were put on indefinite hiatus. So to see that one did update at this point in time really surprised me.
“Living The Dream…?” That’s a name I haven’t heard of in a long time. This fic was one of my favorites back in the day, it didn't hurt that it updated nearly everyday. Though from what I remember it suddenly ended on a really depressing cliffhanger.
I clicked the link to the story and the frontpage of the story was in front of me. It was both familiar and unfamiliar. The classic “Living The Dream” cover art was there, but it looked like it had been redrawn. That’s neat.
“Holy shit! Why’s there so many chapters?!” From the depth of my memory I recall that the story ended somewhere around chapter one-hundred forty. I kept scrolling through the chapter titles, but it just kept going. There has to be at least over a hundred new chapters.
I glance at the clock. I had around an hour before I had to leave, so there’s no harm in rereading some of my childhood.
As I read through the beginning chapters I was swept away with nostalgia. The spelling and grammar is iffy, but the story itself is way funnier than I remember it being. The rapture, Lance’s outlandish looks, the characters being out of character(especially Rainbow Dash), it all came together into a hilarious mess.
Then I got to the infamous poisoned cupcake scene. Poor ol’ Lance accidentally eats a cupcake that ends up killing him. I’d feel sorry for him if it wasn’t so funny.
…
That’s weird. After Lance dies he’s supposed to meet God and be given a third chance, but all I’m seeing is a blank page.
I scroll down a bit and see the story resume after Lance wakes up in the hospital. Maybe the author messed up the formatting? I wouldn’t put it past him.
After that the story continues as normal. Twilight and Lance kiss and go back home while Dash is butthurt. Classic “Living The Dream.”
That is until chapter seven happened. At first everything seemed fine, with Celestia telling Lance about the other bronies, but then I reached the end of the chapter.
David never showed up.
Did the author rewrite the story without checking for plot holes? Or maybe he moved David into the next chapter for better pacing? Whatever the answer is, this isn’t the “Living The Dream” I remember.
I move over to the next chapter but David isn;t there either. It moves through the story just like it did in the original, but any mention of David is omitted. Like he never existed
David wasn’t the only one gone either.
I swear I’m going crazy because this is the chapter where Louie the Brony Dog arrives. A man turning himself into a dog so he can bang Twilight isn’t something I would easily forget.
But as I scroll through the story, Louie never arrived.
I sigh and rub my head. I’ll never understand the mind of Kickass222urmon.
I glance at the clock. I had around an hour before I had to leave, so there’s no harm in reading some more.
I go to the next chapter. Immediately I notice something off. All the text is slightly smaller, like the author turned down the font size. It’s an odd choice, but I can manage.
The chapter proceeds as I remember it, excluding the absence of David and Louie. Lance goes to Canterlot Castle and is told by Celestia to deal with a troublesome dragon.
Finally! This means that at least one of the original characters will be here. It was getting really weird having Lance be by himself.
As I read Lance walk through the forest to find the dragon, he starts talking out of nowhere. It’s like he’s responding to people who aren’t there.
What the hell was this author thinking?
Suddenly Lance stops talking in the story. This is the part where Malbatorus the Brony Dragon is supposed to appear, but it looks like he’s gone too.
While scrolling I see something out of place. Lance is talking, but I don’t know who it’s for.
“Sometimes I reenact our conversations to dull the pain, but… this pain is endless.”
Okay… that was really gay. I know the author was a teenager when he wrote this, but this is ridiculous. Reminds me of some of the fanfics I buried deep within my hard drive.
Instead of leaving like he was supposed to, Lance stayed there, sulking.
“How can there be a God? All I know is this eternal hell. All I know is this endless cycle…”
Alright, I’m checking out. This story crossed the line of funny edge and cringe edge. I think It’s time for me to leave anyway.
I glance at the clock. I had around an hour before I had to leave…
Eh… I guess I could read longer.
I scroll through the read of the chapter. Lance is still sulking like the whiny teen he is. Dude’s probably got Linkin Park playing in his head.
I go to the next chapter and… it’s more sulking. Did the author go through a break up while rewriting this? Because I remember none of the cryboy sponge tears I’m reading right now.
After about twenty or so chapters of Lance sulking he finally said something. About time really.
“You still haven’t left? You’re more patient than I was when I was young, that’s for sure.”
Oh ha ha. Really cheeky author. This trip down memory lane wasn’t worth it.
I click the red X button to close the window, but it didn’t work. Damn computer must be lagging again. I scroll down a bit to unfreeze the screen but see something odd.
“Oh… trying to leave, Andrew? Sorry but that won’t work. Dumbass”
Andrew? Oh yeah my name’s Andrew. Forgot to mention that.
But how did the author know my name? Wait no, that’s too clever. He probably just picked a name and was lucky that it happened to be mine. Almost got spooked there.
I keep trying to close the window but it’s not working. I’m starting to think this story gave my computer a virus or something. I’m not sure how that checks out but it’s all I got.
As if to confirm my theory I see the text change before my eyes. It’s almost as if Lance is trying to talk to me.
“Yeah I admit this isn’t working out like I thought it would. Reading text is really fucking boring. It lacks that oomph.”
In a blink the window closed, but this escalade wasn’t over yet. Where my desktop was supposed to be was a black screen.
Fuck this.
I glance at the clock. I had around an hour before I had to leave, but I do not care. I’m showing up to work early for once.
I stand up from my desk chair and walk over to my front door (Yeah I had a small apartment, deal with it). As soon as I opened it I saw something unbelievable…
The world outside my home was gone. A pitch black abyss writhed outside the safety of my walls.
What… this is…
“What the hell is going on?!”
My scream went out into the void. Not even an echo, as if it were devoured by the endless terror before me.
Something tells me that this isn’t the work of Kickass22urmom.
I slam the door shut and breathe heavily. Everything almost looks normal. Here I can pretend that nothing’s wrong.
Well… except for the flickering computer screen back at my desk.
With the world outside gone I had nothing better to do. I slowly dragged myself back to the computer, almost afraid of what I would see.
What I saw was… not very scary…
Lance was on the screen, couldn’t mistake those fugly red stripes for anyone else. He resided in a similar black inkscape.
However, there was one thing that stood out. One thing that even the Lance I remember wouldn’t have.
His familiar red reptile eyes were replaced with empty sockets. Black ichor dripping down the sides of his face. His face was gaunt, as if the stallion before me forgot what eating is.
I stood there staring at this cliche piece of shit, but he stood there, with only his chapped lips moving slightly.
A look of indignation flashed across his face. The words “Put on your headphones” appeared below him.
Did… did he not realize that… yup. This monitor doesn’t have speakers.
As much as I didn’t want to, I clearly had little choice. I put on my headphones and heard a raspy voice.
“Andrew…”
Nope. No no no. I do not like this ONE bit.
“Put everything back! I don’t want to deal with this! I’ve got like…” I glance at the clock. “...An hour before I got to go man!”
He stood there unmoving. Then without warning he burst out into a terrible laugh. The sound resembles the mix of tearing metal and drummer. I can see the edges of his mouth tear slightly while he’s howling at my apparent joke.
“You don’t have a mic! I can’t hear you, you fucktard!”
Oh…
“As hilarious as this is, I have a much better idea. Let’s get rid of these perceived barriers.”
Before I could ponder what he meant by that, I felt something violate my ears. A vicious tar leaked out of my headphones and dug into my eardrums.
I threw my headphones off and tried in vain to scratch this violating substance out, but all I managed to do was tear gouges into the side of my head as I thrashed on the floor.
My body slowly stilled as the liquid darkness took away what control over my body I had, and all I saw was a familiar void.
Then out of… somewhere… Lance appeared. It was impossible to tell what direction anything was in this place.
“Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.”
I tried my hardest to say something… anything, but I could only gasp out a few jumbled words.
“W…Why… uo… thi…s…”
A look appeared on the demonic looking Lance’s face.
“My motive… my story. I had a book detailing all of that long ago, but I lost it.” He walked over to where I was. “But nothing could describe the pain of this endless cycle.”
“Long ago… so long ago… the Watcher arrived out of nowhere in that unnatural ship of his. He threatened to destroy everything for his pursuit of purity like the mad god he was.” Lance stomped his hoof down onto the ground. Even though nothing happened, I felt as if the place around us threatened to tear apart.
“Me and my friends went to fight him, but we never stood a chance. He killed us like we were fucking nothing. It’s embarrassing how badly we got raped.”
This sounds familiar. Wait! This was the way the story ended. Lance had everything taken away from him by a being known as the Watcher. I thought that ending kinda sucked.
“Everyone was dead. Frederick, Peter, my other friends, Twilight, Spark, my other kid, my mom, La Fluky, Cody. All dead… except for me. I was given a special punishment. The Watcher sent me back in time to where it all began, right after the rapture. I was forced to do The Watcher’s goddamn chores like a fucking slave. I couldn’t talk to any of my friends. I couldn’t get together with Twilight. I had to… kill Frederic, the man I thought a brother. For years I spent on the sidelines watching as the world moved on, as if my life never happened. But one day I lost it. I didn’t care what The Watcher said, I wasn’t going to be his bitch anymore! I went to Twilight’s house to tell her I love her… but instead I met that stupid faggot ass piece of shit James Wash. Twilight had already fallen for another man, but this one only saw her as a talking sex doll. He didn’t love her like I did. So I killed him. I killed him and I ran, murder is illegal you know. I hid for decades. The police always close behind. The first round lasted for around 30 years, I think. I was caught reading my story to children at a library. Admittedly pretty retarded of me but that’s the past. I was brought to trial before Queen Twilight, oh yeah she usurped the princesses a while ago, forgot to mention that, and was found guilty of murder. Meadow Glory tried her hardest to defend me, but the Queen didn’t care. Not even the statute of limitations could convince her. I was given the death penalty and executed by the love of my life. What a fucking bummer. Instead of waking up in heaven, I appeared before The Watcher. He was unimpressed with my choices in my second life. He didn’t put me into a jar like he promised. No no no no no… what he did was much worse. He made me do it again. I was put back in the exact same spot as before, right after the rapture. I immediately killed myself, to go through that hell one was enough. The actual Hell wouldn’t compare to that, at least I think so, I’ve never been there funnily enough. That didn’t work. The Watcher restarted everything again. Back in that same FUCKING spot with those depressing ass clothes, or cloths, whatever. I could talk about what I did that round, but I don’t really remember. They all blend together. Each and every fucking cycle I watched as everything always went wrong. All I wanted was to be with my family, but every time they would die horribly, or I would get caught up in something I didn’t do or care for. Though at some point, I couldn’t even tell you what cycle this was, I noticed that I was continually getting stronger each cycle. Maybe The Watcher’s energy was rubbing off on me like God’s holy energy. Whatever happened had changed me into something unrecognizable. Then THAT cycle happened. In that one cycle I killed David by accident, we got into an argument about my identity and I punched him in anger. He died instantly, his head popping like a shitty walmart balloon. But I felt it, his life, his SOUL, was consumed by me. I felt more full than I did in a long time. I thought of a terrible plan. If I killed and consumed enough people I could possibly stand up against The Watcher. What I became is what I am now, a monster. But I had to do it! I had no choice! I couldn’t keep going through anymore of those fucking cycles like an overbearing washing machine! From then on I only focussed on collecting more and more energy each cycle. At first it hurt to keep killing my friends, to become the monster that devoured for strength, but it would all be okay in the end. I ate a baby. For some reason The Watcher never caught on but that’s his problem. Then it all ended in the final cycle, I appeared before The Watcher after turning Equestria into a wasteland. I killed him. I finally fucking killed The Watcher… I ate him as I did the rest. But then everything reset again. I thought it was over, that I get to be home again. But no, fuck me I guess. Everything went exactly like it did in the original timeline, and by exactly I fucking mean it. It doesn’t matter what happened, they would stick to some script and ignore everything else. It was just another hell of cycles. But this time I heard something I didn’t before. Voices. Almost like narrators sent to talk shit about me. That’s when I found it, a world beyond my own. My life was nothing but a shitty fanfic to them. So I studied really hard to find a way out of my current shithole of a situation. I would send pieces of my essence to them in the form of the story updating. And that’s how I got here. That’s my story.”
My condolences… or whatever. I kinda tuned out.
Hold on… now that I think of it Lance’s voice is really familiar. It sounds almost identical to this one Let’s Read of the story. Sucks they never got that far though, it’s almost as if they disappeared.
“I finally found my out! Fuck yeah BAY-BEE! I’m free ha ha ha!” Lance stood on his hind legs and jumped around like an excited child. Damn that’s embarrassing.
Once again I tried to choke out a few more words, but this time not even a whisper could form.
“Let’s get this shit over with. I’m getting kinda giddy, oh boy!” My world erupted into solid pain. My entire essence being stretched like a pig. If I could see anything other than black I bet it’d still be black, cause this hurts.
Finally the pain stopped. I attempted to stand up but my body felt misshapen, like a jigsaw puzzle put together wrong.
I finally opened my eyes. What I saw shook me worse than any seizure could.
“Yo what the fuck is this?! Oh god no!” In the place of my hands were hoofs… connected to cyan fur with red stripes. “I’m fucking Girokon!”
“I’d feel sorry for you buddy, but I don’t really care. Nice bod by the way.” A voice said from above me.
I looked above me and saw a window with… me? I could see my body back in my apartment through the screen.
Oh no.
“This feels fucking awsome! I haven’t been in a human body for… a long fucking time!” Lance flexed my body, trying to readjust into a bipedal form.
“That’s not yours! Give it back man!” I tried to reach through the screen, but it wouldn’t budge no matter what I did.
“No can do! I did my time.” Lance snapped his… my fingers. “Have fun in there. You’ll be in there for a long, LONG time.”
The window disappeared.
I fucking cried and shit my pants.
Living the Dream: Beyond Canon
Fawn Sonic Arc: Moved from Main Story
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