“Trixie?”
There was no reply from beyond the door to their bedroom, but Starlight went in anyway, the hinges creaking as she did so. There, on the bed, was a blue blanket with a pattern of stars sewn across it, draped across the shape of a person-sized lump. For all Starlight knew, Trixie had been under there the entire time that Starlight had been out of the house, not moving an inch.
“Trixie, are you okay?” Starlight winced as she said that, as the answer seemed pretty obvious. She walked gingerly up to the bed to sit down on its edge, the mattress shifting underneath her weight. But the lump didn’t move. She laid a hand gently on the blanket, feeling the softness and warmth underneath.
“I know it’s hard, Trix. And you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I just want to be here with you.”
A set of blue fingers peeked beyond the edge of the blanket and pulled it down, revealing a matted wisp of bluish-white hair, then a set of purple eyes with puffy, red bags under them. Trixie spoke in a whisper, the blanket stll covering her nose and mouth.
“I’m sorry, Starlight. I just don’t like hearing my voice any louder than this. I don’t sound like myself when I do.”
Starlight gave her a heartbroken smile, and gently laced her fingers with Trixie's, lilac and blue alternating.
“It’s okay, Trix. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
She noticed that Trixie was looking at their entwined fingers with a frown, and she quickly realized why. Trixie's were just so much larger than Starlight's. She let go of them so they could disappear back underneath the blanket. Starlight kept her eyes on Trixie’s, and she saw Trixie struggling to maintain her gaze.
Trixie’s lip quivered.
"I don't like this. I don't like any of it. Everything just feels wrong."
Starlight reached out to gently stroke the wisp of hair that came down off of Trixie's head. It felt similar to how her mane had felt but... thinner. Still, she hoped it was comforting.
"I know, Trix. I'm so sorry." She blinked away tears. "I know this is what you were afraid of, and I'm so sorry that I had to bring us here."
"You were saving our lives, Starlight. Though if it hadn't been life-or-death..."
Would she have stayed behind, instead of escaping an Equestria that would never be the same again? Would she have taken her chances if Starlight had told her that she might have been okay, since it was Starlight that was the threat to the Rampant alicorn, and not her? Was she awful for not being able to stand that thought?
Starlight cupped Trixie's face, stroking her cheek softly with a thumb, staring into her eyes. With her other hand, she gently tugged at the edge of the blanket covering Trixie's face.
"May I?"
After a moment of hesitation, Trixie quietly nodded, and Starlight slowly peeled down the edge of the blanket to reveal Trixie's nose, her lips, her chin. She bent down to plant a soft kiss on her lips and hold it there, pressing her face into hers. She said nothing about the prickles of blue-white stubble scraping against her own skin, and just desperately hoped that Trixie couldn't feel it on her end.
She held her face there, nose-to-nose with her marefriend, their breaths mixing with the air that she breathed. Trixie silently weeping, the wetness on her cheeks becoming a wetness on Starlight's own.
"It'll be okay, Trix., I'm here." Starlight whispered into Trixie's mouth, the movement of her lips rubbing against Trixie's. "I will always be here."
Trixie said nothing besides her sobbing breathing, and Starlight pulled back to stare into her eyes in silence for a bit. The eyes were the same, before the portal and after.
Trixie whispered.
“What does it even mean, that the portal did this to me? Is this… Is this what I was supposed to be?”
Starlight caressed Trixie's face.
“You know that when Spike came through, he got turned into a dog, right? Just because there are no dragons in this world, or something. It doesn't really make sense. The portal does what it does. It doesn't mean anything about us. What we are or what we're supposed to be.”
She sighed, wishing she had more to say than the same words they'd both been going over and over together.
"There may not be a spell in this world for this, but we’ll figure something out. I just know it. And I won't rest until we figure it out.”
Snaking a hand underneath a blanket, she found Trixie's own and gave it a squeeze, as comfortingly as she could.
"And you know me, Trix. You know how I get when I set my mind to things. Nothing in this world can stop me."
Trixie did smile at that, dull yellow teeth splitting those lips of blue. The first time that Starlight had seen her smile today and it looked oh so different from what it had been before the portal but truly, no less beautiful. Starlight would do anything to see it again and more often.
Trixie still spoke in a whisper, but just a little bit more like her old self than she had before.
"Just don't destroy this world for it, okay? They've been very nice to us here."
"I promise." Starlight laughed. "I'll only destroy this world if it really comes to it."
And if that's what it took, that is what she would do, wouldn't she? And was it wrong of her, to weigh Trixie so heavily on the scale against those countless unknown millions? Some part of her thought so, but the rest of her knew that if she were honest with herself, if it really came down to it, she would.
And so, for this world and it's people's sake, she really hoped that it would not. Because nothing could stop her.
