Sex is Bad and You Should Feel Bad

by anonpencil

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Other, Romance, Fluttershy, Porn, Sex, Fetish, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person
Length: 2116

Erotic interactions are apparently never quantifiably a good thing. Ever. It's just impossible for sexy times to be anything but... -gasp- degenerate! This comes as devastating news to Anon...

You and Fluttershy have a very loving relationship. It's very high quality. It makes you feel good about being a Human in Equestria. Like your being there is a good thing, and other folks seem to like it too. But when it comes time for you two to finally get intimate, Fluttershy has some pretty rough news for you. It seems that ponies and humans having sex would result in the degradation of your moral character, and she just can't do that to you! For your own good! This is news to you, both that she feels this way about sex and that she thinks you have moral character to begin with...

WARNING: Contains eroticism. You know. That thing that is always morally bad in stories and makes us worse people for reading/creating.

Published 2023-07-01 19:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2023-07-01 19:20:02 UTC

Low Quality Writing For Degenerates Only

This has been a long time coming. You've been looking forward to tonight, and for a while you weren't sure it was going to happen. But now, tonight, you can feel it in the air. There's a certain Disney magic, minus the antisemitism. There are tinglies in your jinglies. And the way Fluttershy looks tonight? The way she smiles at you over the dinner table, the way she blushes when you compliment her? The way she gives you this romantic look that says she values you not only for who you are but would do anything to nurture your soul into the person you want to be? Yes. You're certain of it.

Tonight, you're going to bone town.

That isn't to say your relationship with Flutterhy is all about sex. No. That would be wrong, and mean your relationship was low quality by nature. The purpose of you being together isn't just to stimulate. There's a true, genuine connection between you. When you're together, you feel like you're a better person. You feel like she's more confident. Since the day she said yes to your first date at that little cafe, things have felt near perfect. Well, except for the food poisoning you got from undercooked daisies. Who knew you could undercook a fucking daisy?!

All that said, you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel like something was missing. There's a certain intimacy and closeness that comes with finally sealing the deal. Not only a physical connection but an emotional one. It's like those overly-Christian 'what's happening to my body' books always said: Sex with someone you love is heavenly. Or whatever. You only skimmed those. You mostly learned about sex from porn which is why you were deeply distressed that there were no midgets or clowns that came dancing in with bananas the night you lost your virginity. ...look, you were into some weird shit when you were younger, ok?

ANYway, you want that with Flutterhy. You want to feel like you two are alone in your own world, and that it doesn't matter if you live or die right then, because you actually feel alive and whole. Like broken calling to broken. You can completely forget that you're both terminally-
Oh, shit, wrong story, sorry.

You lean across the table and take Fluttershy's hoof tenderly. She worked so hard on making dinner for you, even serving you a glazed pork chop with applesauce. You're not going to ask where she got that pork chop, and you don't care, as long as you get to pork her. (Heh, goteem.)

"This has been wonderful," you say to her, meaning every word but also feeling a rush of blood to your donger in anticipation of something even more wonderful.

"O-oh," she says, her blush deepening all the way up to her sexy little ears, "Th-thank you."

Even with all her confidence, she still stutters sometimes when you catch her off guard and you can't help but find that cute. You hope she never stops. Even as she grows and changes, you know you'll love her just the way she is. Damn, you're such a good Human in Equestria, aren't you?

"I can't believe you put in so much effort."

"Anything for you, Anon."

"Well," you say, giving her a suggestive glance, "There's one more thing I think we both want to do. That could make this night doubly amazing."

Fluttershy's eyes widen.

"Ooooh," she says in an awed sort of tone, "I think I know exactly what you mean."

"Shall we go to the bedroom then?" you practically purr.

She swallows hard, visible even across the table from you, then nods. Man, you hope she can swallow that hard for you later on tonight.

Slowly, the beautiful yellow pegasus gets up from the table and walks towards her bedroom. You watch her rear sway gently back and forth, like a pendulum from a snake charmer, and stumble after her. You trip over Angel and he squeals in protest, but you don't even notice. Fuckin' rabbit isn't gonna be a cock-block for you tonight. If he's lucky, you might even make him watch. Little bastard. It's what he should get for the time he left those little dog-kibble shits in your shoe that one time.

You're already unbuttoning your shirt as you enter the bedroom. Without even thinking, you push the door shut behind you and begin unbuckling your pants as well. Fluttershy turns in place and looked at you with half-lidded eyes and a warm, welcoming smile.

"Let me slip into something more comfortable," she says softly.

Awwww sheeit, she gonna get naked.

"Please do," you say.

You wait. She stands there, unmoving. Minutes pass.

Oh, crap, that's right, ponies are naked all the time. Shit. Uh...

"I love the way that looks on you," you say.

"What, this old thing?" Flutterhy says with a giggle, gesturing to her completely nude furry body.

"You bet," you say, then drop your shirt.

You move closer to her, embracing her in a deep, loving kiss which she returns eagerly. Your tongues lavish over one another, your hands slide up and down the curves of her hips. You feel her moan against your lips and you drink it in like sweet nectar.

Yes, this is what you wanted. This is what this has all been leading to. You want her more than you've ever wanted anything in your life, even more than Elder Scrolls 6, jesus christ it's never coming out is it. At least, with this specific thing, you won't be left with soul-crushing disappointment.

You reach down and scoop Fluttershy up into your arms. She squeals enticingly as you bring her over to the bed and lay her out on it upon her back. She presses her legs together and looks like she's about to say something again. Before she can speak, you seal her mouth with another wet, warm kiss. Gradually, you begin to lay your weight down on her, running your hands across her cheeks, her mane, her sides, anything you can touch. You just want to touch her forever.

Then, all at once, she pulls her head away and giggles once more.

"Thank you," she says, her voice dreamy, "This really was a wonderful way to end the night. Could we set up another date for tomorrow? I know it's late and you should go home, but I really want to see you again."

You gawk down at her. Is she... is she sending you away? Without... without the fuckies?? A fog of unwillingness to understand clouds your ability to speak.

"But... b-but sex!" you blurt out.

Her loving face suddenly falls and she looks away from you.

"Oh, Anon... I didn't..." She says, as if she too cannot find the right words.

You have to sort this out. You'll find a way to express what you're thinking. Fluttershy, you will say, I'm perfectly fine waiting for you to be ready. Intimacy is something I enjoy and I'd very much like to do sexual things with you, at whatever pace you are comfortable with. I believed that tonight we were heading for that, and I'm sorry for any confusion. Could we talk about what we want in this relationship as individuals and together, and perhaps figure out when we can become sexually active in a way that's healthy for both of us?

"S-sex?" you say again.

"But Anon!" Fluttershy suddenly wails, pushing you off with all the force of a prom-night beauty queen you just found out that 'anal' means putting it in the butt. "Everyone knows that sex is bad!"

You blink, still reeling from what you've just heard as well as the thud on the back of your head where your ragdoll body hit the wall. You can hear Angel laughing from the other room. Fucking rabbit.

"It is?" you practically squeak out.

"Yes!" Fluttershy says, morally-righteous indignation filling her voice, "We may both have desires. Heck, most humans and ponies do! (but not all, shoutout to my ace friends) But the fact of the matter is that, when a penis goes in a vagina or vaginas kiss or when the penis goes inside another man's foreskin, that makes things worse!"

"Worse?"

"You know, cheaper!" she goes on, "It lessens the quality of the relationship. And, God forbid anyone should have sex without love being involved. I mean, all human on pony sex is bad, but can you imagine if they were just... you know... having sex... for fun? That would definitely be bad!"

"S-sure," you say. Now you have a stutter too. It is far less cute.

"And also, I love you. Having sex degrades those who participate in it. It can never be anything but bad, and it makes you a worse person. Never mind your other qualities or attributes, or why you're having sex. If I were to have sex with you why... I'd... I'd be turning you into a degenerate!"

...okay, maybe Fluttershy doesn't know you as well as you thought she did.

"I'd be ruining your moral character!"

...okay she DEFINITELY doesn't know you as well as she thought you did.

"And I can't do that to you," she says at last with a loud sigh, "You mean too much to me. I want our relationship to be a good one. I want it to be the kind others would look at and think 'gosh, that Fluttershy and Human are so romantic and not at all sullied by sexual interaction.' There's just no such thing as quality relationships if they outright involve sex."

"I... I see," you say, beginning to feel a chasmous hole opening up somewhere inside you. One that, it sounds like, may never be properly and dickably filled.

"Look, I do want your input," she says after a moment of taut, but not sexually taut, silence, "My decision is final and I'll ignore everything you say, but you can say something if it makes you feel less impotent."

Ouch. Sounds like Fluttershy doesn't really care about how you feel. Still, you feel a need to try.

"Okay, look," you say slowly, moving to sit next to her on the bed. "I think I understand where you're coming from."

She looks immediately relieved.

"Oh I am so happy to hear that."

"You want us to have a good relationship. One that is well put together, thoughtful, has a long-lasting impact, brings joy to others, and is grammatically suitable. One that's 'good,' Right?"

"Yes."

"And... sex bad."

"Yes."

"But... given that bad is mostly subjective, it therefore is not wrong to me. So... sex good?"

She stares at you.

"Huh, I never thought of that before!" she says.

"Oh, good." You say.

With that, you pounce on her and you two proceed to have the sex. And not just any sex, the raunchy stuff. You diddle her danglies, she pokes your pinhole, and you lick her liggies. You pound her pussy so hard that you could probably bake it and sell it in a bakery as bread. She sucks your dick so hard it opens into a tiny blackhole that consumes Angel and he has spaghetti adventures in rimworld, but that's a story for another time. You fuck over and over and over again, and it's sticky and slimy and gross and delicious. You end up panting and spent, but you feel a connection there. A strong, real one. It's almost like, no matter how dirty the sex you two have, it doesn't mean your relationship is weaker. In fact, you feel like it might be stronger. Also, it means you get to nut a bunch, and that's pretty lit, yo, frfr.

Once you're done filling every hole of hers with pearlescent human paste, you lay back together in her bed, and look out together with her into the night sky. Above you, the celestial bodies twinkle down at you as if smiling at what you've done. By the look on Flutterhy's face, it seems obvious that she enjoyed herself too. You let out a long, satisfied sigh, knowing that your love has been fulfilled with a physical act done from the dawn of time, by humans and horses great and small. Even cavemen. In the back of your mind, as you drift off to sleep, you wonder if after lovemaking those cavemen looked up to the sky too, and felt the way you do now.

Maybe, in a way, we all end up as stargazers.

-END-

Author's Note

Erotica is bad and you should feel bad for reading this.
Thanks for reading this.

-pencil :heart: