Episode One: Unicorn Failures
Who are the Mythbuckers? Join Rainbow Dash-
“Am I missing some feathers?”
And Applejack-
“Oh Luna not the grain silo-”
Together, they have over thirty seconds of special effects experience! They are...
THE MYTHBUCKERS!
“Good evenin’, fillies and gentlecolts, and welcome to the first episode of Mythbuckers!”
“Who are you talking to, Applejack?”
“Oh, come on, R.D. Y’all just gotta get in the spirit of things. That’n there magical box thing Twilight’s rigged up for us records everything we’re doin’ and sends it to more magical boxes. I hear a lot of people in Canterlot own them boxes.”
“Wait, you’re saying ponies all over Equestria are watching the one and only Rainbow Dash?”
“Well, I suppose-”
“Hey, everyone! Take a look at this!”
Before Applejack could comment, Rainbow Dash took off into the blue Equestrian skies, leaving Applejack far below in the foothills beyond Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack stared up, slack-jawed as a piercing white light shone from above. Rainbow Dash landed next to her with a soft thump.
“The famous Buccaneer Blaze! How about them apples, Canterlotians?”
“Uh, Rainbow Dash?” Applejack smirked, trying not to laugh as she tapped the pegasus on her shoulder.
“Yeah?”
“You gotta stay within the line a’site of the... whatchamacallit. You know, that box.”
“It’s called a camera, girls,” spoke Twilight, poking her head out from behind the device. “And she’s right, Rainbow Dash. You have to warn me ahead of time so I can follow you. I’m really sorry, but I missed that.”
“Aw, horsefeathers. I can’t even do two of them in a day! Totally lame.” Rainbow Dash kicked a hoof into the ground, throwing up a tuft of posies.
For a moment, the ponies on the hilltop stood in silence, taking in the scenery. Behind them stood the boundaries of Sweet Apple Acres, the miles of apple trees almost glowing with the colours of fall. In the distance of the camera’s view, the foothills of Equestria stretched, seemingly indefinitely. The light of the autumn evening revealed vast stretches of land, and the edges of Cloudsdale could be seen on the horizon. Applejack was the first to start talking again.
“... Gettin’ back on topic, seeing as we only have an hour for this apparently, today, we test the common myth: Unicorn spells fail easily and spectacularly. Care ta’ explain, R.D?”
“Sure thing, A.J! So you guys have probably all heard the stories. Some unicorn will be doing something simple like a teleport spell or a growth spell or something awesome, when suddenly, BAM! Something scares them, or they miss a word, or forgot to wave a wand or whatever, and suddenly there’s giant hairless talking monkeys running around.”
“Exactly! So to put this to the test, we devised a couple simple experiments. First, we’re going ta’ see if unicorns do fail spells really easily and all that. If’n that don’t work, we’re going to see what it does take to get a unicorn to fail a spell, and thirdly, we’re going to see if a failed spell really does interrupt the space-time continumajig.”
“Continuum,” Twilight corrected.
“Yeah, that word.”
“Now A.J,” asked Rainbow, following the script, “Just who are we gonna find who’s willing to let us endanger and possibly destroy them in a tragic yet epically amazing display?” Dash struggled not to laugh at the absurdity of her line. “Who came up with this stuff, anyways?”
“Well Dash,” Applejack continued, ignoring the pegasus’ comment, “I’ma real glad you asked that. Joinin’ us today is our good friend and fashion expert, Rarity. Welcome, Rarity.”
Rarity perked up as the earth mare queued her, and walked forward from behind the camera. An uneasy look overcame her face, and she questioned the crew nervously. “Wait, endanger? You never said anything about danger. I offered my help under the assumption it was all for fun and games.”
Rainbow Dash flew over to the unicorn and ushered her forward with a wing. “Think about the fabrics you could buy with the royalties, Rarity! It’s gonna be so cool! Anyways, don’t worry. I won’t let anything bad happen to you!”
“Yeah,” Twilight spoke up. “And if not for your friends, would you do it for science?”
Rarity was silent for a moment.
“... Oh, girls. You know I’ll do anything for you all unless my beau-tiful mane is directly threatened.”
The four mares shared a laugh, giggling in the warm autumn air. A gust of wind blew over the hill, briefly chilling the ponies.
“Oh,” Rarity voiced, wiping a tear from her eye. “I must ask, however, why you chose such an odd meeting spot. Wouldn’t the farm offer a much more serene image, and provide better composition for the shots?”
“Applejack was all concerned about the farm getting destroyed by me, accidentally.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, whistling.
“And on purpose,” Applejack accused, shaking her head.
“You asked me to destroy that barn!”
“It’s the corn field I was talking about.”
“I Pinkie-promised I wouldn’t do that again.”
“Girls,” Rarity interrupted, trying not to think of the response, “Back on topic please. What is it you need me to do?”
“Okay. Right. Test number one! Tell’em, A.J!”
“You got it, Dash. How this is gonna work is like so, Rarity. You start doin’ some fancy spell or whatever that takes a lot of concentration, and Rainbow Dash is gonna make all sorts of a commotion, and see if your magic kerplodes.” Applejack waved her hooves around as she spoke, excitement starting to overcome her.
“Well, that sounds easy enough. Hmm... Oh, ideeea!” Rarity perked up and cantered behind the camera to her saddlebags. She returned levitating a half-knit scarf and two knitting needles in front of her. She sat down, dead center of the camera’s view, and started focusing intently on the scarf in front of her. Her eyes narrowed as she maneuvered the needles, and the world around her faded away.
“You gotta be kidding me,” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Knitting? Really?”
“Be quiet, please,” Rarity snapped, rolling her eyes. “Knitting is complex and difficult, and requires the utmost of concentration.” She turned back to her scarf, frowning as she immersed herself in the act of creating it.
Rainbow Dash shrugged and quietly took off. Moments later, she returned with a large black cloud, positioning it above and behind Rarity. The blue pegasus struggled not to laugh as the rest of the crew hid behind trees and bushes; anything that could provide cover in case the result was catastrophic. Twilight created a magical barrier between the camera and Rarity, and projected large numbers into the air so as not to warn the white unicorn. As the numbers counted down to zero, Rainbow Dash bucked the cloud. A massive bolt of lightning with an even larger burst of thunder was unleashed from the cloud, striking just behind Rarity.
She dropped her knitting needles, and with a scream cantered around the barrier to where Twilight was standing.
Applejack tilted her head in concentration. “Hmm. Looks that this myth is Plausible. Y’all alright there, Rarity?”
“Eep! The! With the! And!” was all Rarity could muster, her nonsense spouting in between bouts of deep breaths. “If you ruffians ever even think of trying that again, I’ll-”
“Well, Applejack,” Rainbow Dash interrupted Rarity, shushing her with a wing, “It looks like this myth is Plausible.”
“I already said that.”
“Oh, right.” Rainbow Dash laughed nervously and continued. “Anyways... but we’re not done yet! That wasn’t so much of a failure, rather a distraction. If anything, it wasn’t spectacular. Now we’re wondering, what does it take to get them to fail, and fail awesomely at that? For this next test, we’re going to need Twilight Sparkle as our subject pony.”
Twilight blanched. “... Why me? I thought you had Rarity for this?”
“You not only survived having an anvil and piano dropped on you, you got up and walked away. You’ve also burst into flames, which was totally awesome. You’re a unicorn that can take a beating, so we know you’ll be safe.” Rainbow Dash smiled brightly.
“...Ugh, fine. Rarity can operate the camera, I guess, seeing as she seems to know about proper composition and all that. If you want, Rarity, I can lend you my “Photo Finish’s Autobiography and Beginner’s Guide to Filming”.”
“That’s, uh, quite alright, my dear. You go off and be fantastic, okay?”
Applejack nodded approvingly. “That’s th’ spirit, Rarity! Now, Twilight. I just need you ta’ teleport over to that other hill over there, so we’re niiiice and safe, and start doing some complicated magical mumbo-jumbo stuff. Alright?”
“Right. How will I know when we’re testing?”
“Oh,” Rainbow Dash giggled, landing next to her. “You’ll know.”
Twilight shook her head, defeated, and popped out of sight. The rest of the crew looked over to the distant mound and watched as she reappeared. Applejack turned back to the camera.
“Right, now seein’ as we need one super distracting, massive, heck of a racket, we’ve called our local talent on surprisin’ ponies, Pinkie Pie! Welcome, Pinkie. Say hi to the folks in Canterlot.”
“Ooh, you’ve got one of those camera things that I keep saying is following and watching us but none of you ever seem to believe me but now you do and it’s all so exciting! Hi ponies in Canterlot! And hi to all you people reading this!” Pinkie Pie jumped and clapped her hoofs as she ranted.
“Eh, beg your pardon, Pinkie? You feelin’ alright?”
“Never better, A.J! Okay, how can I help you?”
“Er.” Applejack shook her head and let the issue slide. “We need a super big surprise for Twilight. Something really really big, y’understand?”
“Ooh! You don’t just need a surprise, you need an explosion!”
“Well... I suppose? We don’t wanna hurt Twilight, though.”
“Oh silly,” Pinkie giggled, “She’ll be fine. You girls are in luck! I’m actually really skilled in mixing explosive materials! I found that out after I got my cutie mark!”
“... I’m really curious,” Rainbow Dash muttered uncertainly, hovering in front of the pink earth pony. “How, exactly, did you find out you were skilled with explosives?”
“Well, after I got my cutie mark, I wanted to make as many balloons as I could, and let them all free to make random ponies around Equestria happy. But, living on the rock farm, helium was expensive. So I tried out hydrogen! The Rainboom may have curled my hair, but whoo-boy, it was when I accidentally made a spark in the silo I was storing them all in... Well, that made the curling permanent! I realised just how fun and hilarious explosions were! It was because of that that my parents sent me to work for the Cakes, actually!” Pinkie Pie finally stopped, her grin beaming at every-pony present.
“... Right.”
“Ooh! I have just the right thing, too!” Pinkie ducked into her saddlebags, pulling out a small container of liquid. In what was possibly the slowest her friends have ever seen her move, she set the bottle onto the grass and backed away. “Now, Rainbow Dash, you need to fly this over and set it down behind Twilight. Don’t put it right next to her, otherwise she’ll be Twilight Dust-le.” Pinkie took a moment to laugh at her joke, but then immediately returned to being serious. “This is three hundred millilitres of nitroglycerin. I’d say a good ten leaps away will keep her safe, and scare the ever-loving dokie-lokies out of her.”
“Goh ih,” Rainbow Dash spoke around the jar, having already grabbed and leapt into the air with it. She took off recklessly despite Pinkie’s cautionary manner. Rarity turned the camera expertly, following Dash’s quick jaunt through the clear sky to the other hill. The crew watched in anticipation as Dash carefully set the jar down a couple cart-lengths back from Twilight and flew back to fetch her thundercloud.
“Hey, R.D. What’s Twilight doin’?” Applejack asked curiously, making sure to step in front of the camera.
“She’s mumbling all these weird spooky sounding things. There’s this solid bubble of magic surrounding her. Could be a shield or something, I dunno.”
“Smart pony,” Pinkie muttered, her eyes unblinking, staring at the location of the explosive liquid.
Rainbow Dash gazed at Pinkie, narrowing her eyes in thought. With a serious nod, she grabbed her cloud and rushed off. Rarity focused the camera as Dash positioned the thunderhead over the bottle. She reached into the cloud with her front hooves and then burst away, flying so fast a light rainbow stretched from her tail.
“What in tarnation has you all in a hurry? And it didn’t even work. The cloud’s just sittin’ there, looking all angrily-like.” Applejack scrunched her face up in incomprehension.
“First of all,” Dash replied, “if Pinkie Pie is scared of it, I realised I should be scared of it. Second of all, I set the cloud on a timer. Just watch.”
They stared back, observing Twilight eagerly. The dark cloud rumbled and shook, brief flashes of light intensifying as the cloud built up another strike. Twilight sat oblivious to it all, concentrating intensely on keeping her shield up. Finally, a bolt of lightning slammed into the nitroglycerin.
The shockwave overcame the thunder as it reached the crew, shaking the camera and knocking the ponies back. In the distance all that could be seen was a blinding blaze of light as a massive ball of flame shot demonically from the ground, consuming the flowers and weeds that occupied the hill. As the ponies by the camera recovered, they gaped at the opposite hill. A thick, black haze of smoke obscured any image of the purple unicorn.
“You kept that in your saddlebags?!” Rarity accused Pinkie, flabbergasted.
“Well of course. It’s always better to have something in case you need it! And we needed it today! Sugarcube Corner is full of those jars, and all sorts of other goodies that go boom and bang and that’s why the Cakes don’t let me use the gas ovens.”
“Shush, you two. Can anyone see what happened ta’ Twilight?” Applejack questioned, her voice thick with concern.
“The camera has a zoom feature, one moment dears.” Rarity took a moment to fiddle with the device, before looking into the viewfinder. “Oh, oh my!”
The ponies gasped. “What? What happened? Is she alright?”
“Oh, gracious me, this just simply won’t do! It won’t do at all!”
The rest of the crew started panicking, and Applejack sprung into action, spouting orders at her friends. “We have ta’ help her! Rainbow Dash, go on over there and bring ‘er back! Pinkie, go fetch Fluttershy!”
“Oh, girls, calm down,” Rarity spoke with disregard. “There’s an awful smudge on this viewfinder.” She lifted her scarf and used it to clean the glass, and then peered through it again. “Much less atrocious now, if I do say so myself. Twilight’s fine, if a little spooked.” She paused and looked at the others. “What were we supposed to look for?”
“Twilight called it...” Applejack paused, searching her memory. “She called it... a ‘Space-Time Continuum disruption. Yeah, that’s it.”
Rarity was taken aback. “What does a Space-Time Continuum disruption even look like? What am I looking for?”
Rainbow Dash flew high, scouting the rolling plains. “I don’t see anything that looks like a portal or a giant monkey.”
Suddenly Twilight appeared back in front of the camera. Her mane was disheveled and smoking, and one of her eyes had an incessant twitch that wouldn’t stop. The purple unicorn glared at everypony present.
“Crazy. Every one of you. Utterly mad! Why I even try to put up with it I have no idea! I’m going home. Hopefully no one will try to set me on fire or drop a piano on top of me!”
“Wait, wait!” Pinkie hopped in front of Twilight, blocking her way. “How was it from where you were sitting? It looked so amazing from where I was! That was really exciting! Right, Rainbow Dash?”
“That was absolutely amazing!” Dash cheered, doing a backflip in excitement. “And Pinkie’s right. We need to know what happened on your end. You didn’t get transferred to any alternate universe or anything, did you?”
Twilight glanced into the eager, excited eyes of her friends, and relaxed with a large laugh. “Oh, girls, I can’t stay mad at you. I guess.” She mumbled something about reviewing friendship letters when she got home, before raising her voice again. “No, all that happened was that the explosion hit my bubble and shattered my concentration. The magic just kind of... fizzled.”
“So nothin’ world-changing at all then hon?” Applejack looked thoroughly disappointed.
“Not so much as a wormhole.”
“Well, folks in Canterlot, and readers at home,” Pinkie jumped in front of the camera, “Looks like this myth has been Bucked!”
Rainbow Dash flew into Pinkie, knocking her down onto her side. “That’s Applejack’s line!”
Applejack leaped into Rainbow Dash, knocking the pegasus down and standing tall in the shot. “That’s right, an’ y’all know it. Well, folks in Canterlot, and... whatever readers Pinkie’s been rambling about I guess, looks like this myth has been Bucked.”
“Right!” Dash exclaimed, shouldering her way into the shot. “Unicorns are pretty good at not destroying the universe when they’re distracted.”
Twilight grabbed the camera and turned it towards herself, smiling into the lens. “Hi, mom and dad. Rainbow Dash is trying to say that Unicorn magic is very difficult to properly disrupt without simply distracting the caster. Even when the spell does fail--meaning it is actively destroyed by a commotion--the magic will simply dissipate. Unicorn spells are safe and quite stable.” She nodded proudly, maintaining an air of intelligence on screen.
“Join us next week,” Applejack grabbed the camera back to herself, “when we check out more myths! If y’all got a suggestion, send us a letter to the address in the credits.” Applejack paused, stretched her head out to Twilight’s ears, and whispered. “What in the hay is that supposed ta mean, and why did yah have me say it?”
“The editors will put in our names after the show, plus extra information. In the credits, there’ll be an address that viewers can use to send us ideas.”
“Makes as much sense as I’ll get outta yah, I reckon. Anyways, all y’all know to watch us at the same time!”
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash cut in. “Make sure to watch, and we’ll blow even more stuff up!”
“Oh, goodie, that’s almost as much fun as a party!”
“Quiet, Pinkie Pie. Goodnight, y’all!”
“Annnnnd.... Cut!” Rarity spoke sharply, turning the camera off. “Well, I dare say that that was pretty fun! What are you two planning on doing next week?”
“Oh heck Rarity, I’ve got no idea. How ‘bout you, Rainbow Dash?”
“I think I have a thought or two. We’ve got a week anyways, and plenty of people will send us ideas. That was just wicked cool, I can’t wait to shoot the next one. Huh?”
Rainbow Dash peered down the side of the hill, watching three little fillies struggle to race their way up from the farm. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all met the mares, panting for breath. Apple Bloom was the first to recover and speak.
“We heard... a big ‘splosion!”
“And we saw the cloud, too!” Scootaloo fluttered her wings with enthusiasm.
“And we wanted to come help,” Sweetie Belle giggled.
“Now girls,” Rarity spoke sternly, “I don’t want any of you getting involved in this. It’s dangerous and-”
“And absolutely sweet if you wanna help out!”
“Rainbow Dash!”
“Don’t be such a spoil-sport, Rarity. Let the fillies have their fun. We’ll watch them all, won’t we Applejack?”
The orange earth pony nodded succinctly. “Of course, Dash. I won’t let anythin’ harm you or your friends, okay Apple Bloom? But y’all will have to listen to us whenever we say anythin’ at all, alright?”
“Oh, of course, of course big sister! What’ll we get to do?”
“Well what we’re doing,” Dash laughed, flying around the three fillies, “is testing things ponies say are true, and finding out if they actually are or not. We’re probably gonna blow a lot of things up in the process.”
“How does blowin’ stuff up help you find out if it’s true or not?” Apple Bloom asked curiously, elation in her voice.
“It doesn’t always,” Dash conceded, “but it’s glorious fun.”
“I can’t argue with that,” Scootaloo smiled. “When do we get to help you?”
“We’ll be doing it again next week.”
The fillies looked at each other, and bro-hoofed. Scootaloo looked up at Rainbow Dash, her gleeful face practically shining at the mare.
“So whadda call yourselves? Proving True Stuff Crusaders?”
“No, Scoots. We’re Mythbuckers.”
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MYTHBUCKERS YAY!”
Everypony started laughing as they watched the fillies run down the hill back to the farm, sharing in their excitement. Pinkie was still chuckling as she grabbed the camera and turned it towards herself.
“Uh, Pinkie,” Rarity reached a hoof tentatively towards the earth pony, “you can give that back. It’s off.”
“Nuh-uh! Just give me a second!” Pinkie glanced into the camera, smiling. “Have fun, readers! We’ll see you later! Don’t forget to send in those myth suggestions! Seeya! Adios! Bon voy-”
“That’s quite enough, Pinkie.” Twilight hugged her, taking the device away from her and setting it on the ground. The rest of the ponies burst into laughter once again as they all came together into one group hug around the obviously annoyed Pinkie. She shrugged, and embraced them all in return.
Mythbuckers, Episode 1: “Unicorn Spells”
Concept by AuroraDawn and Autumn Wind
Support and Research by #EquestrianStudy
Produced by AuroraDawn
Edited by
FoolontheHillz
MaverickVox
Taggerung
Lysis
Suggestions for another episode? Send your Equestria-related myth ideas to AuroraDawn.mlp at gmail.com! We’re looking for fun ideas, such as parodies of fanon cliches (Unicorns fail spells, pegasus wings are incredibly fragile, ect) and show references (Chocolate milk is highly explosive).
Thanks!
If you like my stories, please consider donating.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan made fiction, based on the animated show “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.”, and the Discovery Channel show “Mythbusters”. I do not own, nor lay any claim to My Little Pony or any related intellectual property, nor to Mythbusters and any of it’s related intellectual property.
This work was made entirely for entertainment value and as a tribute to the amazing work of the Friendship is Magic and Mythbusters production teams. It is not, and will never be, distributed for profit.
Episode Two: Pegasus Wings
Who are the Mythbuckers? Rainbow Dash-
"Am I missing some feathers?"
And Applejack-
“Oh Luna not the grain silo-”
Together, they have over thirty seconds of special effects experience!
Joining them is Sweetie Belle-
“Dumb blasting clay.”
Scootaloo-
“This seems dangerous. I like it!”
And Apple Bloom-
“Let’s build something to break!”
They don’t just tell the myths... They put them to the test! They are...
THE MYTHBUCKERS!
“Welcome, fillies and gentlecolts, to the second episode of Mythbuckers! I’m your host, Applejack. Joinin’ me is my good friend and stunt-pony, Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow Dash posed proudly, flaring her wings in front of the camera while Applejack rolled her eyes. “Thanks, AJ! Now that we’ve figured out how this whole thing works, it should be a little more smooth flying for us and our totally amazing camera crew.”
Behind the camera, the two unicorns smiled and waved. The three hyperactive fillies beneath them shrieked and laughed as they played, causing Twilight to steady the recorder and glare downwards.
“Girls! Calm down, we’re on air. If you keep running around, you’ll cause awful camera shake and it will make everything look bad.”
“Twilight! When do we get to go on screen?” Apple Bloom sat down on her haunches and gave the unicorn a pitiful look.
“Hush. It’s Applejack’s and Rainbow’s show first, girls. Let them talk.”
“Thanks, Twi.” The orange earth pony pulled her feathered friend close to share the camera. “Dash, Ah believe it’s your turn for the intro.”
Rainbow Dash smiled and gently elbowed her friend out of the picture. They were standing inside one of Sweet Apple Acres’ many old barns, so chosen for its spaciousness and expendability. Applejack and Rainbow Dash had taken time between episodes to renovate the rickety building into a suitable warehouse for all the tools and knickknacks they may need to use. The wall behind the two was lined with containers, labelled with descriptions ranging from “Horseshoe Nails” all the way to “Rainbow Juice (UNSTABLE)”. Between the camera and the showponies was a sturdy workbench. Various objects were scattered across the table, displacing piles of dust into the air. Somewhere around Rarity and Twilight, a filly sneezed.
“You’re darn right it’s my turn,” Dash chuckled before squaring up to the camera. “Right. So. Last episode we bucked the myth that when a unicorn spell fails, it causes something really cool and disastrous. Turns out they just kind of fizzle out. We got a lot of viewer responses about that episode, and it was a huge success! But more importantly, we got a lot of viewer questions too. MegaColt from Appleloosa wrote to us...”
Dash fumbled with a sheet of parchment, desperately trying to unfold it with her hooves. After a moment, Twilight sighed and levitated it in front of the pegasus.
“Oh, thanks! MegaColt writes: ‘Dear Mythbuckers: Is is true that pegasus wings are really fragile?’. That’s an awesome question, viewer! However, I can tell you from personal experience that our wings are n-”
“Well wait just a moment, Rainbow,” Twilight cut in, magicking Dash’s mouth shut. “That’s called a personal anecdote, and is not a scientific way of going about proving or disproving a myth. Just because you have nigh indestructible wings doesn’t mean that any random pegasus can go about crash landing every five minutes. Besides, didn’t you break your wing once before?”
“Well yeah, but I was on the edge of the sound barrier, doing a triple barrel roll loop-de-loop grandioso extreme, and my wing clipped a rock. That’s not exactly a situation an average pegasus finds themselves in. This myth covers our whole race.”
“Right. So we should still test it because you’re an exception, okay?” Applejack patted Dash on the back, nodding smartly. “First off, we’ll need to build some sorta fake wing. Then, using my bucking expertise, we test exactly how much force is required to damage it. If’n the wing stands up to my extended abuse, the myth will be bucked.”
“That doesn’t sound that exciting.”
“And, if we buck that myth, we see just what exactly it takes to damage that wing.”
“Now you’re talking!” Dash pawed at the ground, preparing to take off to her assignment, but the earth pony stomped a hoof on her tail.
“But hold on a few more minutes, Rainbow Dash, we’re not done here yet. Thanks to a larger budget, we’re going t’ test not one, but two myths today! C’mon up, you three.”
The four mares in the room struggled not to laugh as they watched the three fillies clamour their way onto the tall workbench, playfully fighting each other for the first spot on air. Sweetie Belle was the first to center herself, and the other two moaned as they flopped onto their haunches next to the unicorn.
“Hello wonderful folks in Canterlot and Ponyville and Cloudsdale and Fill-”
“Get on with it, Sweetie Belle!”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Scootaloo!”
“Both of you stop fighting!”
“You first, Apple Bloom!”
“Nuh-uh!”
“Girls.” The unicorns frowned at the foals, tapping their hooves. The purple pony shook her head and spoke in a condescending tone. “Be professional, remember?”
“Yes, dears,” Rarity added formally. “Leave the fighting until we need higher ratings.”
“Rarity!”
“Oh hush Twilight, it’s all for fun. Now, girls, shall we proceed?”
“Yes, Rarity,” they chorused, lowering their heads. Sweetie Belle looked back to the camera with a slight sniffle and spoke again.
“So, we’re the build team! Rainbow Dash and Applejack hired us to help them test the myths. They thought they’d start us with something simple, so they gave us this one to try out.”
Apple Bloom reluctantly handed the unicorn a piece of parchment. The paper was torn and crumpled, as if it had been fought over earlier. Sweetie Belle attempted to levitate it in front of her, accidentally crumpling it instead. Whining quietly, she flattened the note on the table and read it.
“Ahem. This comes from Vulpin of Fillydelphia. ‘Dear Mythbuckers: Is chocolate milk actually highly explosive?’. What a great question, Vulpin! What do you think, Apple Bloom?
The earth filly jumped up, eclipsing Sweetie from the camera before talking. “Now, we’re just kids an’ all, and Applejack says Ah’m not allowed to touch the matches... But this sounds like a fun myth to test! We’ll just need a lil’ help is all. Scootaloo? Any ideas?”
The orange and purple pegasus was shaking in anticipation. “Yeah! I got a great idea! First we check and see how flam.. flem... flerm... how easily chocolate milk burns! With just a little bit, first, to be safe. Then we try and light a whole glass on fire.”
Sweetie Belle tilted her head in confusion. “What if we find out it doesn’t burn?”
“Then I guess we drink the chocolate milk.”
“Yaaaay, everypony wins!” The trio cheered as they burst off the table and out of the barn in a fit of ecstasy. Rarity turned, concerned.
“But, girls, wait! Be careful!”
“It’s alright.” Rainbow Dash flew over the counter and consoled her friend. “We all drank chocolate milk as foals. We let them drink chocolate milk. When have any of us ever had a problem? They’re going to buck that myth really fast, get a big treat in the process, and feel like they helped us out. What could possibly go wrong?”
Rarity started laughing. “Oh, goodness, look at me go again. My my, Rarity dear, you really do let your emotions get out of hand, don’t you? Thanks, Rainbow Dash. You’re absolutely right.”
“As always,” she winked. “So, are we ready to get this show on the road?”
“Not quite,” Applejack sighed. “I wanted to wait until the kids were out of the room first.”
“What seems to be the problem?” Twilight asked, her face scrunching up in curiosity.
“Well, we got a lot of viewer questions regardin’ two subjects I’m not entirely comfortable with. Here, Twi, you can read them,” Applejack muttered, sliding two pages across the bench. Twilight leaned in close and read them aloud to the camera.
“Dear Mythbuckers: Does a pegasus really ‘popfeather’ when sexually aroused?”
The entire group broke into a fit of giggles. Dash was the first one to regain her breath and spoke between gasps, clutching at her chest.
“Well of course we do! That’s not even a myth! Ahahah... Oh, colt, why would so many ponies even ask that?”
“Well, consider this, Dash,” Twilight countered with a smile. “Not everypony who watches this show is from pegasus-rich populations. Appleloosa is mostly earth ponies, and Canterlot is almost entirely unicorns. How can they know for sure?”
“Good point, Twilight... just... wow, haha. Read the next one, I’m sure it’s probably great for a laugh too.”
Rarity gently kneed Twilight to the side before she could look at the paper. “My turn, dearie.” She cleared her throat before continuing. “Dear Mythbuckers: Is Rainbow Dash really a lesbian?”
“What’s a lesbian?” the pegasus asked, suspicion overtaking her muzzle.
“You know,” Applejack replied. “A filly-fooler.”
“Oh, you mean a mare-mun-”
“Dash! This is a family show!”
“Sorry, Twilight. So wait, they’re asking if I’m...”
There was a pause as the smile fell off the athletic mare’s face. The rest of the crew shuffled their hooves, coughing awkwardly. Slowly, everypony turned to Dash.
With a shake of her rainbow mane, Dash snorted derisively. “That’s... incredibly offensive. Oh Luna. Wow. Not cool. Not cool one bit. But I suppose we’ve a show to put on, don’t we AJ?”
Applejack nodded with care, unsure of what was to come.
“No. This myth is officially Bucked. And no, possibly sweet viewers of ours, we are not doing any ‘thorough testing’ on the matter. I am guaranteed one-hundred percent not a lesbian.” She turned to her friends and muttered. “Frankly, I never understood why anypony would limit themselves to a single gender.”
The rest of the crew nodded in agreement, before shaking their heads at the letter in front of them.
“Not one bit of sense, that.” Rarity grinned weakly and hugged Dash. “But, it would be terribly awful for one little letter to ruin our show.”
“Thirty-seven.”
“Pardon, Applejack?”
“Thirty-seven letters. That’s how many ponies asked that. About forty asked the popfeather question.”
“... Oh wow. Let’s uh... Why don’t we just move on to the show?”
“Good idea.”
“Uh, Applejack?”
Rainbow Dash stood in the centre of the warehouse, nervously glancing at the cleared space around her. All the old, heavy equipment had been shifted to the sides of the barn, and a large square was roped off by caution tape. The blue pegasus was in the middle of the space, one wing spread as wide as it could go.
“Uh, yeah Dash?”
“You’re starting to scare me.”
Applejack looked back at Dash, giving her a questioning look. She stretched a leg, subconsciously taking aim at the outstretched wing. “Well why so, Dash? It’s not like you haven’t been through worse.”
Rainbow Dash gulped as her earthen friend shook her rump, preparing to buck with all her might.
“Well- it- you know, this hardly seems scientific.”
Applejack squinted at the pegasus.
“Well then how d’ you suggest we determine your bone density?”
“Preferably not by kicking me.”
“Uh, Applejack?” Twilight tentatively poked the orange mare. “I can be of assistance here.”
Rainbow Dash wiped the sweat off her brow as Applejack sighed, walking over to Twilight. “What can ya do for us, hon?”
“Well, first off, you need to build a replica. Like you said in the introduction.”
“That was a script I just read.”
“Oh. Well, either way, you can’t just go around blowing up Rainbow Dash’s wings.”
Rainbow Dash nodded, trying to hold back a grin.
“Well what in tarnation are we s’posed to do then? We can’t hardly pull a pegasus skeleton out of thin air. You can’t, right Twi?” Applejack added, her voice hesitant.
“No, of course not. I can’t just make things. But with my intelligence and your handiness, it should be very easy to build the necessary devices to analyze and confirm or deny this apologue.” Twilight beamed at the other ponies, her pride in her knowledge almost blinding them.
“English, Twilight.”
Her pride deflated faster than Pinkie’s hair after losing a friend.
“We can throw together something to buck this myth.”
“Awesome!” Dash perked up, flying out of the square and away from Applejack with extreme prejudice. “So, what do we do?”
“Well,” Twilight trailed, pacing in thought. “What we really need to do is see how well the muscles in a wing protect the bones. So we can toss in some hardwood for a bone-analogue, and see if Pinkie has some sort of replacement for flesh in her basement.”
“Now hold on, Twi,” Applejack replied. “Ah appreciate the help’n all, but this here’s our show.”
“Sorry, AJ. I’ll be by the camera if you need anything.”
“Thanks dear. Now, where was I? Right. Now what we’re gonna do is, we’re gonna see how well the muscle in a pegasus’ wing protects their bones. We’ll just use some lumber for the bones, and check and see if our good friend and pyrotechnics expert Pinkie Pie has some sort of replacement for flesh.”
Dash landed, speaking hesitantly. “Wh... Why would Pinkie have flesh in her basement?”
Twilight poked her head around the camera, looking eager to speak. The earth pony sighed and nodded.
“As a pyrotechnics buff, she probably has something used to test the effectiveness or force of explosions.”
“Alright then,” Dash exclaimed, somersaulting higher into the air. “Let’s go visit Pinkie!”
Sweetie Belle placed a glass of chocolate milk on the ground, her movements slow and cautious. She backed away with controlled motion, never taking her eyes off the potentially harmful substance until she was in a safe--she hoped--distance away.
“BOOM!”
“AIIEEEEEE!”
Sweetie Belle launched high into the air in sheer terror as Scootaloo and Apple Bloom fell to the ground laughing, clutching at her sides as the unicorn turned and glared at them with a type of hate only a child could muster.
“Aww, you guys! Don’t do that! I almost had an accident!”
“Ahah! What’s your problem, Sweetie Belle? It’s chocolate milk! We all had some at lunch three days ago.” Scootaloo wiped a tear from her eye and flopped onto her rump. “Besides, how’re we gonna test this myth? Applejack took the matches away.”
“Don’ look at me! Ah tried t’ hide them... But my big sis’ always knows when I’m up t’ no good.” Apple Bloom frowned, biting her lower lip as she reminisced about her encounters.
“It’s alright, girls,” Sweetie beamed, immediately dropping her anger. “I was watching Twilight when she was doing some magic, and I know it’s not much, but I can make some sparks appear now.”
“Wait, wait,” Apple Bloom held up a hoof, silencing her friends. “Didn’t Rainbow Dash say something to us about it being scientific?”
“What’s ‘scientific’? Sounds like extra homework from Miss Cheerilee,” the pegasus filly laughed.
“It would be,” the unicorn sighed. “Scientific means we gotta do it in a way it can be repr... repra.... done again a lot, to check our results.”
“So...?” Scootaloo asked, rolling onto her back and stretching, bored.
“So,” Apple Bloom spoke, as if she knew what to do all along, “We can’t just blow it up. The first thing we do is see if it is flammable. And if it is, then we’ll get Sweetie Belle to light that gallon jug we got. See if it’ll just burn or something cooler.”
Sweetie Belle nodded and turned to the small glass in front of the fillies. She leaned forward and closed her eyes, her horn glowing as electrical sparks appeared in the air around them.
“Just... gotta... aim... a little... closer...”
“You want ballistics gel.”
“Ba-whatstics gel?”
“Ballistics gel,” Pinkie repeated, keeping her eyes focused on her work instead of her friends.
They were all standing in the basement of Sugarcube Corner, watching the pink pony mix chemicals and pack tubes with odd-smelling powders and liquids. Applejack inspected the various machines and utensils that littered the counters of this seldom-seen room of the bakery. Twilight and Rarity were both frozen in the middle of the room, taking care not to disturb so much as an air particle lest they cause some catastrophic event. Rainbow Dash, however, was chaotically flying around the room, handling any object that seemed to catch her attention.
“C’mon, Pinkie,” the pegasus urged, almost slamming a bottle of nitroglycerin back onto the shelf--much to the unicorns’ dismay--and hovering around the increasingly frustrated earth pony. “Stop playing with these toys and tell us what it is and where we can find it.”
Pinkie sighed and gently placed the beaker she was holding back on the table. “Dash, I really wish you’d be a bit more careful around all my work here. One wrong move and we could all be blown past the fourth wall.”
“Ah, Pinkie Pie. You and your nonsensical statements. So, are you willing to help us or not?”
“I dunno, I’ll have to check my schedule...”
“We’ll let you hold your After-Party Party after-party.”
“Deal! Basically, ballistics gel is a mixture of gelatin powder and water that correctly matches the texture and density of muscle mass.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Doesn’t gelatin come fro-”
“Shush, Twilight,” Pinkie whispered to the magical pony. “Let’s not scare the younger viewers now.”
“Right. Sorry. But where did you get that?”
“You can have it imported from the Gryphon Empire. Can we change topics?”
“Sorry but... wow. Weird. Okay.”
“Just try not to think about it. Whenever the thought crosses my mind, I like to think about rock farming. Keeps the mind at ease, you know?”
“...Right. Yes. Rock... farming.” Twilight shook her head as Pinkie Pie bounced away in her typical oblivious joy. “These ponies are crazy,” she muttered, following after her friend and watching her grab a large saddlebag and jump up the stairs.
“Well what are you waiting for, guys? To the bomb range!”
“Typical Pinkie,” chorused the four mares below.
Scootaloo coughed.
“That was... interesting,” Apple Bloom said, choosing her words delicately.
Sweetie Belle could only stare.
“I say,” Scootaloo urged, “We go get that jug. Sweetie Belle? You all right?”
The unicorn made a gurgling noise.
“That’s the spirit. Let’s go get that jug, Apple Bloom.”
Sweetie Belle blinked a few more times before giving her head a shake and chasing after her friends. “Girls! Wait for me! Careful!”
Rainbow Dash fluttered her wings, flicking specks of plaster towards the annoyed earth pony beside her.
“Dash. Y’all mind? We’re trying to set this up properly.” Applejack kicked a hoof into the dusty ground of the badlands, casting a wary eye towards the Diamond Dog fields. Despite the fact that Rarity was around, the farmer was always cautious in these areas. Applejack suspected that after today, Pinkie Pie would probably scare the grubby gem-grabbers away more than the generous unicorn.
“Don’t blame me, you girls forgot to bring the water to wash me off after you made the cast.” The weatherpony continued to twitch her wings, her annoyance exaggerating her movements. “This stuff is totally not cool.”
“Relax, Dash.” Rarity turned to look at her friend, leaving Twilight to shape the gelatin in the mold. “It’s all for a good cause. If it’ll make you feel better, we’ll let you set the explosives off again.”
The pegasus straightened up, her wings flaring. Applejack coughed as the last of the plaster shot off the excited pony.
“Ah’ll take that as a yes, R.D.”
“You know it!”
“And done!” Twilight stepped backed, admiring the contraption that lay before the ponies.
The gel had formed a perfect replica of Dash’s wing, down to the very texture of her feathers. It was set around several chunks of lumber that had been sculpted to match the team’s best approximation of Rainbow’s bone structure. Rarity nodded curtly, levitating the wing and moving it to Pinkie’s designated area. The pink pony bounced in place with an exuberance only ponies on military grade drugs could hope to match.
“Ooh, goody! That looks absol-positively fantasmic, girls! I’ve set the support up over there, in that dark patch.”
“Why...” Rarity trailed, inspecting the ground with an apprehensive hoof, “Why is there charcoal everywhere? And ash? Pinkie Pie?”
“This is where I like to do all my experiments. It reminds me of home. And the grain silo. Did I tell you why the Cakes’ won’t let me use the g-”
“Yes,” everypony.
“Phooey. You four are no fun.” With that, the earth pony hopped away, oblivious to the others staring.
“...Moving on,” Twilight slurred, breaking the silence. “Applejack, whenever you’re ready. The camera is rolling and I have it focused on the wing!”
“Mighty kind a’yah, Twilight.” The orange pony trotted proudly towards the awkward setup, stopping and turning on a dime. She lowered her front, priming her rear knees for the most powerful buck she had ever given. With a wiggle of her rump and a wink to her friends, she shot her hindhooves out, pressing her forehooves forward as hard as possible to propel her body with more force than she had ever attempted in the past.
With a resounding thud she connected perfectly, bending the wing-analogue’s support with the sheer pressure of the kick. Applejack collapsed, having lost her balance from the extra push. “What’sit look like, girls? Anythin’?”
Rainbow Dash landed next to the fallen pony and pulled her up to her hooves before examining their creation.
“Aww, lame!”
It wasn’t even marked. Twilight cantered up, her reading glasses resting on her muzzle as she approached the stand. She peered intently into the yellow gelatin, pushing the thought of its origin out of her mind.
“Rock farms,” she whispered. Surprisingly, the apprehension she held towards the mold disappeared immediately with the image of Pinkie blowing up a grain silo. She smiled and whispered again. “What do you know, Pinkie, it works. Rock farms.”
“Say again, Twi’?”
The unicorn jumped, startled to notice Applejack inches away from her face.
“Oh, I just, rock fa- er, no. No damage. The ‘bones’ are perfectly fine.”
The blue pegasus’ face lit up like Trixie’s fireworks, and the apple farmer’s face balked.
“All right! Go pegasus! Go pegasus! It’s our birthday!”
Pinkie poked her head out from behind the boulder she was hiding behind. “Did somepony say birthday?”
“Uh, no, sorry.”
“That’s okay! I’ll make up something festive anyways!” With that comment, the pink pony dived back behind her boulder.
“Just whatever is the matter, dearest Applejack?”
“Well, shucks. I’m just a little plum disappointed. This here myth is Bucked, right at the get-go again. Why didn’t it work?”
Twilight walked in front of the camera, patting her friend on the back. “My best guess is that the muscle structure in a pegasus wing is evolutionarily designed to protect their skeletons. That, plus the pure raw strength needed to lift an adult pony off the ground and keep them suspended would be astronomical- It’s a wonder they ever manage to hurt themselves anywhere. Not that such a physique wouldn’t come with its own unique problems, but still...”
Applejack sighed. “So pegasus wings just ain’t fragile- not enough t’ be easily damaged, that is. Shucks! I kinda hoped we’d actually prove something for once.”
Pinkie Pie leaped over the giant stone, her eyes wild. “I know what’ll cheer you up, Applejack!”
“Whassat, Pinkie?”
“You forgot we get to find out what it actually takes to break one!”
“Okay, Sweetie Belle. The gallon of chocolate milk is all set up and ready to be mythed!”
“Tested, Apple Bloom. The ‘myth’ is what we’re testing.”
“Aww, shush and start zappin’ it, will yah? Ah’m getting tired.”
Scootaloo balanced on top of the bottle, her wings fluttering wildly in an attempt to keep her little body up on one leg. “Shouldn’t we back up a little? I’m all for seeing awesome stuff happen up close, but there’s no sense being set on fire for it.”
Apple Bloom considered Scootaloo’s point. “Ah suppose. But last time wasn’t dangerous! It just kinda bubbled and smoked and blinked at us. It coulda’ been Sweetie’s magic for all we know.”
“Hey! I tried my best...”
Scootaloo fluttered off of the chocolate milk, landing on the grass. She squinted hard, just barely able to make out the adults’ figures off in the distance. She turned around, surveying the land that spread from the farm to the barren badlands beyond, looking for the best hiding spot possible.
“I still have some leftover lightning-in-a-jar from one of Rainbow Dash’s last pranks! We could set it beside the chocolate milk, Sweetie Belle could hit the jar with her magic, and then we’ll know for sure it wasn’t just a mistake or misfire.”
“Wait, how’d you get that from Dash anyways? She never gives out her pranking supplies!”
“Sometimes she leaves her saddlebags out in the open while she trains!”
“...And you just dig through them?” Sweetie Belle tilted her head, her mouth scrunching up nervously. “That’s... really creepy, isn’t it?”
“Relax. Rainbow Dash sometimes asks me to get stuff out for her while she’s flying. I’m more than happy to help her in any way I can!”
Apple Bloom called out to her friends. She was several feet away now, her small head just visible over the lip of a ditch. “C’mon you two! We got stuff to explode!”
The fillies laughed and rushed around as they prepped the ominous, potentially harmful jug of chocolatey deliciousness. Scootaloo fished the jar out of her bag and set it down on top of the gallon container, the lid pointing down into the milk. She cantered over to the ditch and leaped high into the air, soaring over her friends before crashing face-first into a pile of dirt. She shook herself off and flopped over between the other fillies. With a nod from Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle once again began frowning in concentration, sparks flying from her small horn at a steady beat, her eyes narrowing as she focused her aim on the glass of electricity.
“So,” Apple Bloom whispered, nudging Scootaloo. “Anything else interesting in Dash’s stuff?”
“Well...”
Applejack shifted nervously on her hooves, carefully watching Pinkie Pie’s movements.
“So.. this, uh, ‘ammonium nitrate fuel oil’... Explain this again to me.”
Pinkie tilted a large barrel of brown, semi-solid gunk into a makeshift trough beneath the wing set-up with a giggle. “ANFO is an explosive, silly!”
“Yeah, I get that. But... wait. First off, where did you get all that fertilizer from? It looks awful familar, I’d reckon.”
“You weren’t using it! Besides, it’s not like you can’t get more for free. You make your own every-”
“Pinkie,” Twilight deadpanned, shoving a hoof into the pink party pony’s muzzle, “Stop. Now. Television, remember?”
“Frry Twhlht.”
Twilight pulled her leg free and walked back to the camera, shaking her head slowly. “You girls mind getting on with it? I’m getting tired.”
“Right. Okay. So, ignoring where I may or may have not stolen supplies from, ANFO is an explosive mixture. I’m only starting you girls off with a little bit at first, like a bucket or so.”
“Everypony here is missing the point,” Dash shouted, hovering with her forehooves crossed. “How do I get to set this off, and when the hay do I get to do it?”
Pinkie Pie giddily trotted to her supplies and pulled a small device out with her mouth. With a spin, she tossed the object up to the pegasus, who instinctively caught it before she even knew what was happening.
“Oh, cool, what’s this?”
“The switch for the detonator.”
“Oh. So where’s the detonator?”
“I dunno. Somewhere in that bucket.”
Dash carefully lowered the switch out of her mouth and held it in a hoof, making sure to not slobber over the active button any more.
Pinkie chuckled as she walked over to the bomb shelter Twilight was projecting. She nudged Applejack and pulled her close, whispering in the earth pony’s ear.
“That’ll keep her still for once.”
Applejack cracked a smile before checking all around her. Assured that everypony was properly protected, she angled her head towards Rainbow Dash.
“On three! Fire in the hole! Fire in the hole! Fire in the hole!”
The bucket of ANFO disintegrated in a blast of pure light, instantaneously blinding the Mythbuckers. The wing device was devoured by a wave of fire and shrapnel, the hellish ball of heat eating up the landscape faster than a parasprite on steroids. The shockwave crashed into the unicorn’s barrier, causing it to flicker momentarily. Rarity and Applejack cringed as Twilight doubled over, straining with all her might to protect her friends from any harm.
Rainbow Dash stood and drooled.
As the dust settled, Twilight sighed heavily and relinquished her shield. “Next time, we’re moving farther away.”
“Woohoo!”
Applejack was standing next to the remnants of their hard work. On a bent, charred, and partially melted metal stand hung a clearly broken wing. The fracture was right in the center of the ‘bone’: a clean break.
“Well, waddayah know about that. All it takes is several thousand pounds of force and a pegasus wing will start to break.”
Pinkie sighed. “Aww. And here I have this entire barrel of explosives and nothing to do with it.”
Rainbow Dash’s muzzle opened into the widest grin she had given in ages. Before Pinkie Pie could stop her, Dash had grabbed the container of ANFO and set it down in the crater they had just created. In a flash, she grabbed the damaged wing and dropped it into the barrel.
“Detonator?”
Pinkie already had one in her mouth, and dropped it in the drum with a flair. “Dash, you’re the bestest friend a pyro-pony could ever have!”
Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack were already several hundred feet away, constructing a more solid shelter out of chunks of granite.
“Party poopers.”
After a few minutes of cleaning up the debris of the previous blast, Pinkie and Dash had both retreated to the new shelter. They peered at the barrel in the distance, checking one last time that everything was as controlled as possible. Off by the Diamond Dogs’ fields, three creatures were hurriedly closing off every access to their underground domain. Applejack laughed under her breath before poking the pink earth pony beside her.
“We all set up?”
“We are go for Operation WHEEEEE!”
“...Right. Okay Dash! Fire in the hole! Fire in the hole! Fire in th-”
The ground shook beneath them as a massive roar deafened them all. The ponies ducked, covering their heads with their legs as they shook in terror.
“Celestia be damned, Rainbow Dash! Too early! Too early! We weren’t ready at all!” Applejack risked a glance to look at the pegasus, but was surprised to find that she was cowering on the ground as well. “...Rainbow Dash?”
“I haven’t touched the switch yet! I didn’t do anything! It came from behind us!”
The farmer twisted to look behind herself, but snapped back to cover as a pile of dust and rocks started pelting them. “What’n the wild wild world of Wonderbolts is going on?!”
As the fallout subsided, the Mythbuckers slowly stood back on their hooves, swaying on limp legs as they noticed a large plume rising behind Sweet Apple Acres.
“Darlings, up in the sky. What is that?” Rarity questioned, frowning in confusion.
A smoking object was hurtling towards them, tumbling in the air as it grew from a speck to a large ball of black, purple and orange.
“Look out beloooooow!”
The Mythbuckers cleared to the side as Scootaloo crashed into the ground in front of them, rolling forward with great speed until she collided with the granite shelter. She lay there dazed and upside down, her legs limp, her fur singed, her eyes rolling.
“Oh sweet Luna, are you okay?!” Twilight dived towards the filly, picking her up and setting her straight, and started immediately looking the pegasus over for any serious damage.
“Ch-ch-chocolate milk is explosive,” Scootaloo stuttered matter-of-factly, fluttering her wings and sighing as she felt no pain. “And I got some flying practise!”
“What the sour sugar happened, kid?”
Scootaloo leaned against Rainbow Dash, taking a quick breather before explaining.
“Scootaloo! Y’all alright?”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle skidded to a halt next to her friend. “That was pretty neat, Scoots,” the earth filly contiued. “It’d be a shame if we couldn’t do that again.”
“Y’all ain’t doing anything like that again! Just, hold on for a second. Scootaloo, what happened?”
Scootaloo reached her arms around Dash, cuddling into the cyan mare’s lap--much to her dismay-- before speaking. “Well, I was telling Apple Bloom what I found in Da- er, about some stuff I had stumbled onto during recess, when Sweetie said she was having troubles. She was striking the glass of lightning with magic but it wasn’t breaking or anything. So, I flew up close and I looked at the jar. The lightning was still in there, but the seal was really tight. So I hit it with a rock a few times to hopefully loosen it, but the whole glass just shattered. The lightning struck the chocolate milk, and then I got an impromptu flying lesson.”
“How was your first time gliding, sport?”
Scootaloo looked up into Dash’s eyes with wonder. “It was... beautiful.”
“Well, as long as you’re alright,” Twilight exhaled, her tense body relaxing. “So, who gets to discuss their myth?”
“Well, seein’ as Sweetie Belle went this mornin’, and Scootaloo is currently nestled into Dash, Ah think it’s mah turn.” Apple Bloom waited for any objections, and, upon hearing none, hopped onto a nearby stone and spoke towards the camera. “At first we suspected chocolate milk wasn’t explosive at all. When we tried lighting the glass with magic, it kinda bubbled and sparked and the glass turned into paper, so we think Sweetie may have just needed a little more practise. When we tried the gallon of chocolate milk, it actually caught fire. The plastic must’a contained the pressure, because it took a second before it levelled the countryside. In conclusion, we have Confirmed that chocolate milk is explosive.”
Scootaloo finally reliquished her grasp of Rainbow Dash. “Wooh, go confirma- woops!” As she stood up, her weakened legs buckled, toppling her over onto her side. “Ouch! I just landed on something, and it dug into my-”
For the second time, the earth under their hooves quaked. There was no roar this time, only a unbearably loud whumph as hot, compressed air smacked into the shelter. An instant later, thousands of pings and pows filled the sky around the frightened ponies, infinitesimal bits of wood and metal bouncing off and embedding themselves into the granite. Rainbow Dash and Applejack leaped forward, pulling their friends and sisters under themselves to shield them from the flak. The two main Mythbuckers pulled the others up and started running, hauling the group with themselves as they fled from the deathtrap of a shelter. The demonic fireball continued to spread, blasting down the rock shelter as Dash flapped her wings, groaning as she struggled to lift the group of ponies. Eventually she managed to take off, hauling the others with her until she reached safe ground. She set them down gently, before finally collapsing in exhaustion.
A charred log clattered right next to them.
A second charred log embedded itself into the dirt before them.
As small drops of gelatin started to rain, softly pattering the ground, Applejack opened her eyes and reached a hoof out towards the smoking lumber.
“Well, who’da thought it. There’s still just the one clean break.”
Twilight freed herself from the pony pile, stumbling over to the camera which had--thankfully, she thought to herself--continued to work throughout the catastrophy. “Wh... Well there you have it f-folks. Uuuugghh. Pegasus wings are not indestructible, but strong enough that they are not fragile. This byth has been Mucked.”
“The myth has been Bucked, Twilight.”
“...Right, right. And chocolate milk is Confirmed for being explosive.”
Pinkie Pie pulled Apple Bloom off of her face, shaking her mane. Somehow, the explosion had managed to make it less unruly than it was before.
“And don’t forget, ponies at home! We’re always looking for more myth ideas! Send us an email to the address in the credits. We’re always looking for more fun myths to test like these!”
“But, ah,” Applejack laughed nervously, “Please suggest something less dangerous to our crew.”
“Good luck with that,” Rainbow Dash coughed. “Well kids? Should we go home?”
“I think the hospital is probably a wiser choice.”
“You’re absolutely correct, Rarity. I’m going home.”
The others paused, looked themselves over, and laughed before slowly limping after their blue friend.
Mythbuckers, Episode 2: “Pegasus Wings”
Concept by AuroraDawn and Autumn Wind
Support and Research by #LunarStudy
Produced by AuroraDawn
Edited by FoolontheHillz
Picture by Pustulioooooo
Suggestions for another episode? Send your Equestria-related myth ideas to AuroraDawn.mlp at gmail.com! We’re looking for fun ideas, such as parodies of fanon cliches (Unicorns fail spells, pegasus wings are incredibly fragile, etc.) and show references (Chocolate milk is highly explosive).
Thanks!
If you like my stories, please consider donating.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan made fiction, based on the animated show “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.”, and the Discovery Channel show “Mythbusters”. I do not own, nor lay any claim to My Little Pony or any related intellectual property, nor to Mythbusters and any of it’s related intellectual property.
This work was made entirely for entertainment value and as a tribute to the amazing work of the Friendship is Magic and Mythbusters production teams. It is not, and will never be, distributed for profit.
