Meanwhile, in Equestria...
I sat back in my chair. “How was that, Doc?”
Doctor Whooves didn’t even look up from the transcript that the device I’d been talking into was producing. I don’t think he even realized I’d finished until it fell silent and stopped producing parchment. Only then did he grunt at me. “This’ll do,” he muttered, tearing the scroll from the machine and turning to file away my entire life story, my presence already forgotten.
It was all a lie, of course.
Oh, the vast majority of it was vaguely adjacent to the truth. As any good liar will tell you, the best lies are actually mostly true. But all the details were wrong, and the sniveling, ‘woe is me’ stuff was complete horseshit, of course. I like my life very much, thank you.
But the spooks said we needed ‘plausible deniability.’ In case my cover got blown, or too many people saw me with wings I shouldn’t have. Anyone digging too deep would find a nice little therapy script, wander down the wrong path, and eventually end up with us. No fuss, no loose ends.
I stepped out into the sterile white hall of the facility, and a familiar plum-covered pony was waiting for me. “How’d it go, sis? You remembered to talk about me the whole time, right?”
She’s not my sister. But our coat colors are similar enough, so that’s what we tell people, more often than not.
“Yeah,” I smirked at her. “Told ‘em you were a real brat, and your whining was why I was there.”
Berryshine took a dramatic step back, clutching at her heart. “Oh! You wound me! I thought we agreed I was the helpless, adorable one?”
“You’re half right.”
“Jerk,” Berryshine shot back playfully. “I’ll just have to tell them how awful, and traumatizing it was to have to listen to you making kissy faces at Cherry Fizzy for a month straight. Emphasis on Cherry Fizzy. What an awful name for a pony. And a little on the nose for your doomed romance subplot, don’t you think?”
“I didn’t pick it,” I replied. It’s not like any of the names mattered. Berryshine wasn’t my partner’s real name, and Cherry Berry wasn’t mine. My real name is a state secret, which is why I did my best to forget it. Unless your mission was specifically to deliver one, the less state secrets you knew, the better.
Not that anypony had ever given me a good reason why it had to be one. I suppose so that no one would try to use it against me, by kidnapping my real parents or something. Terrible idea, by the way - they were innocent ponies who thought their daughter was dead. I’d probably only find out about it because kidnappings are part of my job description. Rescuing them, that is. I’m not a kidnapper.
Anyway, it sounds like it would be a lot of paperwork for everyone involved, which I suppose is as good a reason as any for making something a state secret.
The PA system blared to life. “Agent Cherry Berry, Agent Berryshine, report to the briefing room immediately.”
The smile fell away from Berryshine’s face in an instant. “That’s never a good sign,” she muttered.
I didn’t bother to answer, already on the move. A call like that usually meant a monster on the loose, and seconds could matter.
Also, fighting monsters was the best part of the job.
The briefing room was dimly lit when we arrived, and only one pony was present: the Director himself. He was an earth pony stallion, with a gray coat and gray mane. Probably gray eyes too, but I’d never seen him without his signature pair of dark glasses.
It was a gimmick, but it worked.
I expected to see the briefing screen with a picture of an exotic monster on it. Instead, the picture was of a pony. Worse, it was a pony I recognized.
“Bon Bon?” I queried, frowning. “Why Bon Bon?”
A pony being on the screen didn’t make sense. Sure, we occasionally dealt with ponies who’d lost their way, but that was just because we sometimes moonlighted as social workers. The ponies we intervened with needed help, and they didn’t get the emergency meeting treatment.
Ponies that were genuine emergencies were above our pay grade. Look, I love my job, but I also recognize the world I live in. The top dog in our hierarchy is a literal Sun Goddess, and her first line of defense is a magical prodigy wielding a set of reality warping artifacts. My department is a distant, distant second. As secret agents go, we’re here for the kinds of problems that Twilight and her friends don’t have time for.
We fight monsters. In some worlds, I suppose that would be impressive, but here, it’s a Tuesday. True evil? Keep that the hell away from me, thank you.
“This is Special Agent Sweetie Drops,” the Director said, which didn’t quite answer my question. “She defected from our organization nearly seven years ago. We need you to bring her in.”
Berryshine raised a hoof. “I have several questions,” she piped up.
The Director didn’t acknowledge her. “There was an incident in the Canterlot division, which caused her to go into hiding in Ponyville. We determined that an extraction mission would be more likely to compromise our operation than simply allowing her to believe we had no reason to come after her. However, recently she blew her cover, and informed a civilian of her true identity. We have not yet determined why. She has become a security risk. You are to capture her, by force if necessary. You are also to determine the extent of the security breach and contain it.”
The Director paused, then turned to Berryshine. “Does that answer your questions?”
Berryshine sheepishly lowered her hoof.
I raised mine.
The Director sighed.
“How come she gets a real name and a code name?”
The Director flicked an ear, which I counted as a moral victory. “Agent Sweetie Drops is believed to be in possession of an intact field kit, but it will be seven years out of date. You should have no trouble with her. You are dismissed.”
“I hate this,” I told Berryshine as we got our kits. “We don’t fight ponies.”
“Maybe she’ll come in without a fight?” Berryshine’s voice was hopeful, but her eyes weren’t.
“That sure wasn’t the briefing I got.”
“...Fair. Well, we outnumber her, and we have better gear—”
“I’m not worried about losing to her. I’m worried about… heck, she used to be an agent! That practically makes her family!”
“She went AWOL, though.”
“Yeah, because of an ‘incident’ we know nothing about. You know, sometimes I think the Director likes keeping secrets too much for his own good.”
“I’ll make sure to mention that in the next survey.”
I scoffed, but I couldn’t help but crack a smile. Berryshine always knew how to cheer me up. It didn’t banish the uncomfortable pit in my stomach, but at least it let me ignore it, for now.
I’ve lived in Ponyville long enough that I had a pretty good idea of who Bon Bon had blown her cover to. There was a small possibility that she’d been coerced, or gotten careless and let something slip, but if she’d deliberately spilled the beans, it would have been to Lyra. I hoped it was Lyra, anyway - a secret told to a close friend was likely to stay secret, and I didn’t really want to have to deal with the scenario where some gossip had seen something they shouldn’t have, and half of Ponyville already knew about it.
I wasn’t ready to fight half of Ponyville.
“You’re not going to have to fight half of Ponyville,” Berryshine piped up. “Even if that was what we’d been asked to do, it would probably just make the problem worse—”
“Get out of my head,” I snapped. “I knew that.”
She just grinned at me. Cocky brat. Sometimes she could read me far too well.
Staking out Bon Bon’s house was easy enough, and it quickly became clear that she wasn’t expecting company. Not the secret agent kind, anyway. But why would she? She thought nobody was after her. Once we confirmed that she was the only pony home, I sent Berryshine around to the back door, and then I just walked up and rang the bell.
What? She didn’t know I was an agent. Besides, subtlety wasn’t really my style.
“Cherry? What brings you here?” Bon Bon’s expression when she opened the door was mild surprise, but no alarm. Good.
“Can we talk? Inside?”
The tiniest flicker of hesitation crossed her face and then vanished, but it set me on edge anyway. Did she suspect? Why would she?
“...sure.”
Soon enough, we were sitting in her living room, and a teapot had been placed on the stove. I was trying to control my breathing, act like nothing was wrong. I was trying to treat it like any other intervention. There was always the possibility that those turned ugly, but in practice, that didn’t happen if you were careful. So perhaps this would be the same.
“I… have something I need to talk to you about, and I’d like to do so as friends,” I began. “Just try to hear me out. I’m from S.M.I.L.E., but I don’t want—”
Bon Bon was already on her hooves, eyes narrowed. “That’s not true! The whole agency shut down.”
“You were led to believe that, so you wouldn’t keep running—”
“I saw the report myself! Celestia sent it to every agent, it had her seal—”
“No, it was just… look, it doesn’t matter, okay? I’m not here to punish you for defecting. I’m here—”
“To close the leak,” Bon Bon said flatly. “I know how we operate. If you think you can just waltz in here—”
This wasn’t going how I’d hoped. I fidgeted my back legs, subtly hitting the signal to Berryshine that things were going south. “Look,” I interrupted. “I don’t want to fight you, but I will if I have to. My orders are to bring you in, but I don’t think anypony wants to hurt you—”
“Oh, of course they’d tell you that,” Bon Bon hissed. “If you think I’m just going to let you—”
There was a bang as Berryshine kicked in the back door, and then Bon Bon lunged over the kitchen counter, coming up a moment later with a briefcase I recognized immediately.
Shit.
I touched the symbol on the chest of my uniform. “Heart, unlock!”
Power flowed through my body, a shimmer of light that coursed down each limb, and I lost myself to it. My heart’s hammering slowed as the transformation took hold, covering my entire form in light. A golden shoe formed around each hoof first, followed by a bright red domino mask across my eyes. My outfit shifted, changing from an understated vest to a sleek superhero bodysuit that only covered my chest and belly. Finally, with a burst of light, my wings formed, already spread.
Look, you have to pose for the transformation. It’s in the contract.
I dropped out of the pose and crouched, ready for whatever Sweetie Drops’ combat form had to offer—
“What.” Bon Bon was staring at me, mouth agape. She’d pulled a pair of costume shades and a fake mustache from the case, but hadn’t even managed to put them on.
“What.” I spread my wings, jumping into the air and peering down into the case. It also contained a watch and a grappling hook. “What is this?”
“My field kit!” Bon Bon said, suddenly defensive. “What is that?” she demanded, gesturing at my wings.
“Combat transformation,” I replied, brain still on autopilot. “For fighting monsters.”
“You have magical transformations now?”
“You don’t?”
“No!” Bon Bon sounded increasingly scandalized.
Berryshine walked up behind Bon Bon, her own wings folded to her back. She poked the fake mustache in Bon Bon’s hoof like it might bite her. “What is this even for?”
Bon Bon jumped, and then put the glasses over her eyes. “Disguise, obviously. An agent’s first priority is to go unnoticed.”
“And that… works?”
“Sure,” Bon Bon replied. “Ponies are kind of dumb.”
Berryshine raised a hoof indignantly, opened her mouth, and then paused. Slowly, she lowered her hoof.
“Oh come on,” I exclaimed. “This is ridiculous. Can we start over?”
Bon Bon considered. Then she put the mustache back in the case and closed it. “Fine. But only because I have so many questions.”
“...and then, get this, Cherry just kicks it right in the face. No hesitation. She literally bounces off its scales, and I think it’s gonna eat us both, but it’s so impressed at her sheer chutzpah that it just backs down. Craziest shit I ever saw in my life.”
Bon Bon is practically crying laughing, and I take another bite of my donut to try to keep the smug grin off my face. I lean back in my seat, just so I can take it all in. This was much more like it. Good food, good company, and mission accomplished.
My life is a little bit crazy. I get to fight monsters, help ponies who need it, and, oh yeah, have wings whenever I want them. Even with all the secrets, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
