Glimmer's Diary

6/25/13

Last night, 'C' supposedly hooked up with a stallion to relieve her of her sexual frustrations.

It killed a part of me to think she had relations with somepony other than me, but I knew it was for her own good. She's a very loving, sexually active mare. If she didn't have relations, it would probably kill her.

My dreams last night... Reflected some of my less pleasant feelings about the whole thing.

I asked her to pick anyone else other than Ritz.

Ugh! That jackass!

Self-centered, arrogant, obnoxious, pretty boy!

When I was a stallion, I only saw him as a spoiled, rich kid, living off his parents, wanting to stake his claim as a royal guard. I knew the snot only wanted a job he could wear a uniform that would impress ladies. I thought of him as the lowest form of slime.

Now as a mare, he's no different. Sure, he's got a perfectly square jaw, a chiseled body that looked like it belonged to an Olympic champion, with muscles in all the right places, but not overly muscular. He towered over me now, but as a stallion, we met eye to eye. He grew out his golden mane and tail that seemed to complement his chocolate-colored coat well enough to make a few maids eye him like candy. And yeah, his emerald-colored eyes could hypnotize a filly when he combined it with his smooth voice. And if I'm honest... There have been a few times in the guard's locker room where I saw his, well, member. Not bad. His balls weren't as large as mine had been, but maybe it was a good thing. Less likely he would be able to breed.

Ugh! The thought of HIM with a foal! The poor mare who has to carry HIS foal around!

I've seen his tricks work on mares before, and I'm glad that Lily is a mare who sees through his plays and sees him as the predator he is.

I really, really, really hope that Cadance can too.

I know she needs the love of a stallion to keep going. Just... Anypony but HIM.

Or maybe... If I just pretend it's anyone but HIM.

My thoughts and feelings are all mixed up, which is why I'm writing so late. I can't sleep.

Feeling a bit tired now that I got all that out of my system. I am going to try and get some rest.

I just hope 'C' gets better soon.

6/30/13

I've only seen 'C' a few times since that night I went to speak with her. The headmaid has been keeping me on a tight leash for some reason. But from what I saw of her, 'C' is looking a lot better. Her coat's natural color is returning, she's smiling a lot more, and she seems to be bouncing from one obstacle to another with more enthusiasm. That's good at least.

I'm trying not to think about her 'relations' by pouring myself into my work.

Unfortunately, the headmaid thought it was a good idea to take advantage of my eagerness to work and assigned me to clean up after all the parties Ritz had been having. Which have gone from two to three parties a week. How the crystal guards haven't sub come to alcohol poisoning, I don't know. All the bottles and cans of beer and booze I clean up are ridiculous. A part of me wants to suggest we start a recycling program to the headmaid. But she'll probably put me in charge of that too.

It's bad enough I have to clean up the vomit both on the ground and in the toilets, the, ugh, condoms left behind, and spoiled food left out, but trying to recycle all their trash on top of it. It's not worth it. Not to me.

7/4/13

We started recycling all the beer cans and bottles from the parties Ritz has been having.

Great. I hope the headmaid can't read my mind.

On top of that, I had to wake up a few of the 'adult entertainers' who fell asleep with some of the Crystal Guards in the ballroom where the parties were held. It was a sight to behold. Good stallions I had served with had been refused to hang over party colts who couldn't even drag themselves to bed.

Shining Armor would never let this happen.

I still can't manage to spend any time with 'C' since we last met and we had that... Conversation. But we're supposed to meet in a few days to meet with my OBGYN and check on the foal.

7/7/13

Unfortunately, I had to go to my doctor's appointment myself. I felt awkward being there all by myself, with the doctor having to check everything she had to. I felt alone and vulnerable. I kept the thought of 'C' in my mind, knowing she was still super busy and would be there with me if she could.

The doctor said the foal was developing at a normal rate with, no abnormalities. It was too early to tell the sex of the foal, but it was healthy, which put me somewhat at ease. I checked out well too, though I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a little bit violated after the appointment. But I guess that was normal.

7/9/13

I Saw 'C' today, she cast the protection spell on me to protect and hide the foal. She felt terrible for not being able to go with me to the appointment and promised that she would next time. She looked to be back to normal, her mane and coat back to its regular color, and although she still looked exhausted, the bags under her eyes had shrunk considerably and her posture was as elegant as it was before.

Later that day, I ran into Lily again. It seems like forever since we last had a chance to talk.

When we went to the bar that one girls night out, she ran into an old childhood friend. A 'Special' friend. A guy she knew growing up who moved away when they graduated high school. They were apparently high school sweethearts but had never confessed to each other. He went off to make his dreams come true and become a Wonderbolt. A popular dream among pegasi.

Lily was so happy she was stumbling over her words half the time. The other half she seemed too embarrassed to speak. She seemed so innocent, I doubt it was anything above a PG rating. Still, she was happy, and I was happy for her.

8/1/13

I feel like things are beginning to taper off. A weird normalcy has begun to take over and THIS is my new life. Work, gym, maybe go out to a nice cafe with Lily.

I spend more time with Lily than I do with my wife.

Don't get me wrong, not in a romantic way, by any means. Though, I have to admit, she does have a smoking hot body. The first time at the gym showers wasn't the ONLY time I saw it either. Sometimes we go and shower together. Not in an intimate way, but a kind of sibling-like way.

I'd like to say she reminds me of my actual sister, but my sister is more outgoing than Lily. Although, Lily's been more daring as of late. She went on trips by herself to Canterlot and came back late into the evening or night.

Speaking of my wife... I hardly see her anymore. She's still busy with work, but I guess she's also busy with...other things, or other ponies, should I say. I'm just going to have to remind her when I get back to normal how great I am compared to those other guys. Or guy.

I don't want to think about it.

8/6/13

'C' didn't show up for my appointment again.

I guess I should be doing this by myself. I just kinda of wish she was here with me.

8/9/13

'C' uses the old 'toilet's clogged' trick to get me into our bedroom so she could cast the protection and hidden spell on me. She apologized again for missing another appointment. 'C' said something important came up that she had to deal with. I said I understood and let it go. I was just glad she could cast the protection spell on me and my occupied womb. The last thing I need is for anypony to see me carrying a belly. Though, from what I've seen, a lot of mares don't show anything until the last couple of months. Still, I don't want to think about the foal. My dreams do that for me already.

9/23/13

I swapped a few of my days off to Lily so she could go see her mysterious coltfriend. Unfortunately, that means I'm stuck being hit on by Ritz more, suffering more of Aqua's targeted torments, and despite being around the castle more, I have seen less and less of 'C'.

But every night for almost the last week, I've had wild dreams about Turbulance. In one dream I was lost in a jungle and he was some wild stallion who rescued me but couldn't speak English. It ended with me and him having a colt and raising him in the jungle together. Another one where I was locked in a tower and he was a knight in shining armor, come to free me from my prison, taking me back to his kingdom where I had his foal, a little filly who looked a lot like her mommy. Another one where he and I were having wild sex in front of Princess Cadance, her watching and sipping red wine in nothing but a BDSM outfit, telling us what to do.

I think I need to see a therapist.

I wish there was something I could do about these feeling I have for him. I only spent one night with him, but I think... I think, as Glimmer, I... Fell in love with him.

I still love 'C', but I feel like, as Glimmer, I'm also a different pony, with slightly different feelings.

I am carrying his foal, after all.

Maybe it's about time I at least talk to him. Maybe I'll hold back the foal part till later. I mean, what kind of a mare shows up out of the blue and tells you, despite telling you she's protected, that she's carrying your foal?

9/27/13

I was not prepared for this day.

It started out like any other.

But things have gotten me all mixed up...