Glimmer's Diary

5/20/13

It was a long day.

'C' and I had to sit down and have a LONG discussion about... Me being pregnant.

Some things are up in the air that we don't want to think about. The main one is what to do with the foal after it's born. I'm so confused about what is right for it and us.

We have to protect this baby at all costs. Part of me wants to claw it out, but if I do something stupid like that, or less stupid like fall down the stairs by accident and lose it, there goes my stallionhood. Forever. Luckily, I guess, 'C' found a spell that could put a protective barrier over my womb that would ensure the baby was safe. It would need to be renewed once a month, which 'C' would do when she dressed up as 'Honey Drops' and take me to the obstetrician. Ugh, the thought made me cringe. But we needed to make sure the baby was healthy and safe.

The easier things to deal with are... less problematic but also not pleasant.

I need to write to my parents, my sister, and Princess Cadance and let them know I'll be gone longer on this trip than expected. That things got complicated and I'll be home as soon as I can. I think it's cruel to lead them along like that. The plan is to write to them every few weeks to let them know I'm fine, and that work is keeping me where I am at, but not much else. Keeping it vague makes it seem like it's more serious and justifies me being away.

Next, unfortunately, is dealing with the maids.

They keep talking about how I've come out of nowhere and was 'given' a high-paying, prestigious position, and started rumors of why. Some include that I'm Shining Armor's concubine and Cadance wants to keep me close. Some are the reverse, that I'm Cadance's toy to enjoy while her husband is away. Some of the other rumors are better, some worse.

'C' and I don't think we can keep up our charade for much longer if I'm her hoofmaiden. I'm going to step down as her hoof maiden and just be a regular maid. 'C' has picked out some other maid, who was reputable and worked for a while in the castle, to take my place.

Which means I can't sleep in our own bedroom. I have to sleep in the section of the castle specifically for the maids. It's about four maids to a room, not bad, but I know I'm going to miss sleeping with Cadance.

And we can't see each other nearly as much. We'll still see each other from time to time, but we can't talk like US. I'll have to bow my head as a sign of respect and only speak when spoken to, and all that.

To make matters worse, Princess Cadance had to enlist the full help of that Stallion I mentioned earlier. The one who acted like Shining Armor but was just a stand-in. Well, he's been given a year-long term as acting captain of the Crystal Guard, due to Shining's absence. It burns me up to think that arrogant, pompous, spoiled slacker was now in charge of the Crystal Guard. But there's nothing I can do.

This whole situation blows. But according to 'C', in less than a year, it will all be over, and she'll reward me with whatever I want since she put me in this situation.

5/22/13

It was my first day as a maid and, ugh, not as bad as I had thought, but still pretty hard. Not the work. I'm used to hard work. The other maids are the problem.

I know they know I can hear them. Making snide remarks about me being 'demoted' from hoof maiden. Making jokes that I wasn't good enough. Pointing out how I was taking too long to clean something, fetch supplies, or my cleaning jobs were less than perfect. Bucking bitches. But there was one that was actually nice to me. That pink-haired mare from the gym. We got into talking a little on our lunch break.

Her name is Lily, and she's originally from Manehatten. She grew up with several brothers and sisters and lived in poverty for most of her life. She started work early and gained a good reputation as a hard worker. That's how she got picked as a maid for the Crystal Empire.

She really is a hard-working, but very soft-spoken mare. She hardly talks about herself, which makes it hard to talk since I have to keep most of my past a secret. But I managed to strike up a conversation by asking her about cleaning techniques or tricks to get around the castle quicker. I'm kind of glad now that I had the spell 'C' put on me to stop me from saying or doing anything stupid that would reveal who I really am. If I slipped up in conversation with Lily or Faust forbid, the other maids, the word would spread like wildfire.

5/24/13

It's my first day off from my first week as a maid. I wanted to check in on 'C', but she's still dealing with negotiations and issues with Yakyakastand.

Lily invited me out for a girl's day on the town. We took the train to Canterlot to hit up some shops and see the sights. She said she always wanted to see Canterot, but was too afraid to go alone, and the other maids, well, weren't the friendliest to her.

Remind me to fire them when I return to normal.

The day was great. We went shopping and got a few outfits (if my wife found out I actually liked shopping, she would never change me back, but I actually DID like shopping! I genuinely enjoyed trying stuff on and presented myself to Lily for her input. I couldn't believe we spent three hours doing that!), then we hit up a small cafe, enjoyed some salads and smoothies, then did a little window shopping before ending the night with a quick drink at a local bar before hopping on the last train back to the Crystal Empire. I lost Lily for a bit. I was worried we'd miss the train back, but we got there just in time.

On the way back she told me she met an old friend of hers, somepony she appeared to like. The whole time she talked about him her seeks turned bright pink. I was genuinely happy for her.

5/29/13

The next few days went by as normal as things could possibly be given my situation. Unfortunately, I was given the task by the head maid to clean up the rooms the Yakyakastanian ambassadors had been staying in.

What they did to that room, THAT, should have been a declaration of war.

To say the place was a mess would be a compliment.

The furniture was slammed to bits, piles of hay were left everywhere, mud was flung all over the place, and they had built a fireplace out of some gravel from the broken chunks of crystal from around the room, leaving the fire burning, which caught some of the hay on fire. Yeah, that was fun to put out. On top of that, I don't think they've ever heard of flushing the toilet!

Thank Faust for the rubber gloves and masks.

Even though the castle had a staff of twenty maids, I was somehow the only one assigned the job of cleaning the room by the head maid.

Remind me to deal with that head maid when I get back to normal.

It took several hours, but I got it all done by myself. After that, I needed a shower. Unfortunately, the showers for the maids' quarters are under construction. Probably the reason why Lily was showering at the gym.

I just got back from the gym's shower. My legs and arms feel mellow, I'm still pulling hay out of my mane even after washing it several times, and the smell of that bathroom will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I'm going to pass out now. Ugh, has it been a year yet?

6/4/13

Do you remember the stallion from earlier? The one who's acting Captain of the Crystal Guard? I don't think I ever told you his name. Mainly because I didn't want to have proof of him in here. But his name is Ritz. Ritz Hooves. Now Captian. Ritz. Hooves.

And unfortunately, I had to deal with him today.

I was mopping in a hallway earlier when I saw him talking with Lily. He had her back pressed to the wall, his arm above her as he leaned in close to her. She kept a cleaning cloth pressed against her chest as she sunk against the wall, trying to keep space between herself and him.

Part of me wanted to smack him and tell him to go buck himself, but the spell 'C' put on me stopped me. Like invisible restraints were around my body, stopping me from moving or opening my mouth to say anything. The spell also stopped me from doing several other things including calling him out, kicking him in the balls, and things that would definitely cause him to suspect something of me.

I was able to help Lily in the end by grabbing her, apologizing through my teeth for taking her from him, and explaining that I needed her help with something. Before he could say anything, I dashed away with Lily, practically ripping her arm off. Once we were away from him, Lily told me that he's been bothering her all week even though she told him she had a coltfriend.

I'm going to have to watch him. I knew he was a mareonizer back in Canterlot. We had a lot of problems with him. Apparently time hasn't changed him for the better.

6/17/13

It's Lily's first day of a week-long vacation. She said she hated to have to leave me to deal with Ritz, especially since I've saved her several times from him now, but I assured her that I'd be fine.

I actually had a chance to talk with 'C' for the first time in forever. I didn't want to be a downer and worry her about all the things about the maids and Ritz, so I tried to focus on the more positive things.

While I talked about Lilu and I going up to Canterlot for a girl's day, I couldn't help but notice how tired and, well, miserable 'C' looked. She said it's the double workload and still dealing with the Yaks. If what she deals with is half as bad as what I dealt with in their guest room, I can understand why she looks so exhausted. I ended up leaving when the head maid barged in and asked me to tend to a mess in the kitchen.

6/23/13

Well, I think Ritz has moved on from Lily in her absence.

Today, he had the balls to try and hit on the head maid. He had no idea who he was messing with. I don't care for either of them, but watching her frigid tone and expression throw him off his high horse almost made working under her bearable. Almost. I did get a little more respect for her.

Today for some reason I kept thinking about Turbulance. About how I was the mare that bucked him and left him high and dry. How I told him how I had the 'best birth control', and now I'm stuck carrying his foal.

It sounds terrible. But when I first heard I was carrying his foal, I wanted nothing more than to get it out of me. I thought of it like it was a parasite. But now...

I haven't had a chance to talk to 'C' about what we are going to do with foal. Will I have to remain a mare for a while to feed them? Should I find Turbulance and tell him? Should I keep him in the dark?

So many questions that I don't have the answer to.

I want to talk with 'C', but she's already so stressed because of me. If I could do some of my old work, and take the burden off her, I know it would help. But I can't.

Maybe I should talk with Lily. She is my only friend here besides 'C'. But there is a lot to unpack with the pregnancy alone. It might be too much for her.

But keeping all of this to myself is eating me alive!

I would also be lying if I said I didn't think about Turbulance. His touch. Look in his eyes as he looked into mine. When our bodies were one.

I feel so guilty for thinking about him sometimes while I'm showering or right before I go to sleep. When my body is craving some attention. My marehood starts getting restless. Without thinking or caring who might be watching, I slide my fingers down and start thinking about that one night we had together. I fantasized about a possible future we could have had if I wasn't really who I was. If I was just some maid named Glimmer.

I think about 'C' sometimes when I masturbate, but it's hard. It's hard to remember what sex was like when I was the stallion. That and, well, I can tell 'C' is really suffering without our lovemaking. I've seen it a few times when either of us had to go away. She becomes slightly irritable, the pink color in her coat fades to a slightly duller pink, and she forces her smile. I wish there was something I could do to help her...