Intelligence Witholding

'WELCOME TO PONYVILLE QUANTUM BIT!'

There was cheering and whooping all around me. "What is all this?" I asked in possibly the stupidest tone I have ever used. "This is your surprise!" Twilight yelled over the loud music that had just started up. "Pinkie throws a party for almost any occasion, including welcoming new residents and even just visitors to Ponyville! It's her special talent, and it pretty much sums up the explanation of her cutie mark!" We were now shouting at the tops of our lungs to be heard over the impossibly loud bass.

Bass, that only one pony I knew could play.

I looked to the makeshift stage set up over the counter and saw one of the few ponies I counted amongst my inner circle.

Vinyl Scratch, otherwise known as the famous... "DJ-PON3 IN DA HOUSE!" I heard her scream through the microphone, right before an ear-splitting bass drop.

I caught her eye and she turned the turntable to auto, then jumped off the stage and made her way towards us through what must have been the entire population of Ponyville. "Hey there Quantum! I wondered who the new guy in town was! I do only know one Quantum Bit though, so I guess I knew I'd be seeing ya'!" Twilight looked rather surprised. "Hold it, back up a bit-you two know each other?"

"Well, yes." I answered. "We both attended Canterlot University, Vinyl just a year after me. Our research and learning areas overlapped a bit, and we were a team in several projects."

There were only two reasons I could ever dislike Vinyl. She was a good friend, had a lovely sense of humor, helped me out when I needed it. It's just that...

"Yeah!" Vinyl said in that ever joyous pitch she spoke in."QB over here even helped design those fine, custom-built babies of mine you see on stage all the time! They're way better than any a regular store could offer! Say, I never actually got around to thanking you properly...." she tailed off with a sly grin.

And there it was. She always seemed to boast. Could she boast about herself? Of course! She had plenty to boast about. Did she ever when I was around? No. She always managed to draw too much attention to me!

Also there's the matter of her..... methods of thanks. I never quite understood why, but my bed has been the target of her desire for many years. I've told her in almost every possible way that I'm not interested, yet still she persists. I suppose it's just one of those things you have to put up with. She doesn't mind not being there, it's just that she rather would be there.

I knew where the conversation was headed, having been down it many times with her." Vinyl, when I showed you the idea you burst into tears of joy, said 'Thank you!' so many times I lost count after you hit triple digits, paid for the entire thing and still paid me for the work, ideas, patent, and even a bonus! You've thanked me plenty!"

"Okay, back up a bit again. She attended Canterlot University? To be a DJ?!" Twilight asked with that same, stupefied look on her face.

"Well it was her special talent." I replied, barely holding back my laughter at her facial exdpression. "She only did a course on sound waves, frequencies, their effect on ponies, etc. I was doing the full on science courses."

"Well that at least makes sense!" Twilight said with a sigh of relief.

"By the way, Vinyl?" I asked, my curiosity piqued. "How did Pinkie Pie manage to get a performer such as yourself to come to this most plain of small towns? No offense meant!"

She answered very quickly, almost as though it was rehearsed. "One, she's an Element of Harmony. Two, she's a very good, life-long friend of mine. Three, a few other reasons..." Same smile, same tone, not going there.

"So we gonna party or what?!" Vinyl Scratch exclaimed. She hopped back onto the stage and the music once again took on her signature beat.

Then I saw a pink blur that seemingly phased through all the ponies in the crowd. Based on what I had been tasting coming off her, I already knew what to expect.

"HI THERE!" Pinkie yelled at me, somehow being louder than the music. "Are you enjoying the party, of course you are, who doesn't like parties? Definitely not me or you, but there is Cranky, he's a donkey and he doesn't like parties so much, he likes peace and quiet, and HEY, I never introduced him to Vinyl, I should totally do that and...... wait a second, I came to talk to you! I see the line thingies are gone! By the way, HEY MISTER, COULD YOU HURRY UP WITH THE PLOT, I THINK THE PEOPLE ARE GETTING BORED!"

.........

My mind was still at 'Cranky'. "Pinkie, you really ought to go see a psychologist for an extensive course."

"Now why would I do that?" Suddenly, she froze, and I could distinctly hear turning gears and a ticking noise emanating from her head. "Oh yeah!" she exclaimed. "You're new so you think I'm crazy but I'm not crazy I'm just excited this is what happens when I'm crazy!" Suddenly, her hair.... deflated and her eyes focused on opposite ends of her sockets. She truly looked like she belonged in an asylum, and for unknown reasons I saw a terrifying image of her cutting a pony to pieces.

That's when the wave hit. I tasted so many emotions in that short space of time she occupied her personae, which I was later informed was named Pinkamena, that my brain overloaded and did a reboot. I screamed in agony and everypony's focus was suddenly on me.

"Are you okay? What happened? Do you need medical assistance?" Twilight fired the questions at me in rapid succession. "I'll be fine" I said. "Just a really bad migraine. Well, isn't this a party?" I waved my hooves at the general crowd.

With that everypony returned to their various activities. So for the rest of the night I chatted, danced and socialized in general. But through the entire event I could taste a certain unicorn's suspicion. I do not know if she herself felt it, but I knew that at least her subconscious was onto me.

And I've only been here for four days!