Fallout Equestria: Desperados V2 (of Blood and Dirt)

Desperado’s V2, Chapter 07

Tato Town (Part 1)

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"Well fucking shit!" Mayor Almandine shouted as she viewed the damage. "Whered those fuckers get exposives from?"

"I wonder where?" I asked accusingly.

"Oh please, ain't no way we give our explosive to trash like raiders!" She defended herself, having caught on quickly to what I was suggesting.

Harp joined us, giving me the side eye. "Star, what the crap are you going on about?"

But Almandine answered for me. "I told her if you and your friends take care of our raider problem, we'll deal with your Rook problem. But we aint so stupid as to higher raiders that have been pissing in our water."

Harp let out a frustrated groan. "Ya, of cores thats the fucking issue! Star, we're going to need to have a serious talk. And miss mayor, you better hope that's the truth, because we have little tolerance for ponie trying to play us like fools."

"Ya, I can see that big fucking gun on your moter wagon. Trust me when I say, the soon things get boring again, the better." Almandine told us.

Taking a deep breath, Harp then asked Almandine, "right, so where are the raiders holding up?"

"A bit further north by northeast, y'all will find Tato Town. It's where Golden Harvest was holding up before some pony torched their crops. Now all their workers have gone raider and shit, not that they weren't halfway there already. Anyways, y'all can't miss it, it's surrounded by a lot of spiky rocks for some stupid reason, and built like a prison. So there'll be watchtowers poking up." Almandine informed us.

Harp then looked at me and motioned at the Smuggler. "Let's go get our damn trailer back, and save a colt."

Slowtrot had the engine already running as we boarded the Smuggler, Cavall jumping in after me. "Alright, where to?" Slowtrot asked as he slowly rolled out of Amethyst Sands.

"Wait up!" Pyrope shouted as he jumped onto the smuggler and took the other passenger seat. "Your going to need some help getting around Tato Town."

"We ain't here to steel shitty fruit, bandit!" I snarled.

"Shut up Star!" Harp shouted at me, then turned her attention to the stallion. "Allright, but try not to get yourself killed, alright."

He tipped his stenson. "Yes man."

She then leaned over and pointed over Slowtrot. "That way, north by northeast. We're looking for a bunch of spiky rocks with watch towers."

The smuggler picked up pace, and we were off.

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"Right, so the raiders call themselves the Blue Bramble, don't ask me why, they just do." Pyrope told us, filling in what little information we even had. "They're just made up of the poor and lost ponies of the NCR, ya know, petty criminals that aren't worth locking up, but can't pay their fines."

"And Golden Harvest took them in as bearly paid workers." Harp guessed.

But Pyrope shook his head. "Nope, they weren't even paid, not in caps at least. They did pay off a percentage of their fine, but the rest was in tokens that only the company store accepted. They tried the same shit with us, but we know better than to be played in anything but proper currency. Caps, gems, gold or bulles, nothing else."

"Wait, you got gold?" I asked, my interest peaked.

He shrugged. "Some. It makes good coinage, but it's hard to find ponies who actually use it for currency. So we mainly use it to decorate the inside of our church."

"That I'd be interested in seeing." I commented, wondering If they'd be willing to trade some of it to me.

"I'm not sure you'd want to." Pyrope told me with a smirk. "The place has several baelfire eggs on display, and last I checked, one was leaking."

Well that put a dampener on that, with how radioactive gold sounded like a real bad idea. "What's the damn deal with your radiation worship anyways?"

"Honestly, I don't quite get it much either, and Ma drilled the faith in my head since I could walk." Was his reply as he shrugged at us. "But it has to do with something about other worlds, and how the goddesses of the glow will take us to them. That one day the world will be consumed by the radiation and everypony will be brought under her protection."

Now that sounded like a death cult if I ever heard it. "Wait, but didn't your mother say she's the goddess of trials and transformation?"

Pyrope nodded. "Yes, and the consumption of the world will be the last trial, or that's my mothers interpretation of it. Those who survive it will then be transformed, and taken by the goddesses of the glow. But personally, I like how I am now, so I hope the last trial never comes."

"Or it can all be a bunch of mad rambling made by half feral ghouls." I commented, getting an annoyed look from Harp.

"You never know." Pyrope said in a slightly worried tone. "I mean it probably is, but unlike the other waste pony clans, ours was always the largest. Or as my mother puts it, since our ancestors accepted and survived the trial at the altar of the glow, they were transformed and the waste ponies were born."

"Alter?" Harp asked.

"Where my ancestors settled after the war, they found some ruins underground. All carved from black marble and such, even a freeky obelisk at the bottom. It's radioactive too, which is probably why they ghoulified even though they were safe from the bailfire fallout." He explained.

The hairs along my spine prickled as he told us, giving me a rather bad feeling about all that. Fortunately, the smuggler then lurched as Slowtrot turned and skidded to a stop in front of Rook, forcing the mare to stop.

The veteran mercenary glared at us, but I then shouted, "get on, we're heading to Tato Town!"

Letting out a huff, Rook ran over to us, and jumped onto the back of the smuggler. "You sure y'all can trust this thing to not explode?"

"It's Gunrunner made, so I trust it more than anything else." I told her as I pulled out my bottle of whisky.

Room took the bottle and finished it off. "Then go befor those fuckers have time to do anything!"

The smuggler got back to moving, doing its best to avoid every bump and rock.

"R… right, well." I stammered out. "These are my friends, Harp is the one in the red dress and Slow Trot is the driver."

"Don't care." She snarled back.

Harp popped her head out, giving the older mare a smile. "Don't worry, you're on the fastest motor wagon in the wasteland. We'll get your son back, trust us."

She glared at my friend and threw the now empty bottle off to the side. "Better, because I don't plan to hold myself responsible for what I'll do if he's not unharmed, ya understand."

"Perfectly." Harp said as she slowly went back down.

I then glard at Rook, who met my own eyes and said, "You have a problem!"

"Star!" Harp called out. "Let it go."

"But-" I began to say, but Harp cut me off.

"No, just let it go. You should know more than any of us here." She told me.

She… she was right. If it was my Bridget taken, I would leave a bloody trail to get her back.

"Fine." I breathed out and put my hooves on the Aeternus, ready to use it on the first raider I saw.

Which fortunately was not long as we saw two of the raiders ferociously pulling on our trailer. So I took aim.

"Wait! You'll destroy the trailer!" Harp said, getting a sigh out of me as I lowered the big fucking magical energy gun.

"Then what do we use?" I complained.

"Don't worry, I got this!" She told me as she tapped on her pipbuck. "Order, get rid of those raiders for me."

"Yes Lady Harp." The wasp-like robot said as we quickly rolled up on the two raiders.

The raiders saw us and let go of the trailer, quickly grabbing their guns and firing like drunken snakes. Order flew up, and with several pops, hit the raiders with its dule bolt launcher, nailing one raider in between the eyes. The other raider threw down their gun and bolted off, huffing a canister of dash as he fled.

Order shot a few more bolts, but the raider was now galloping at an unnatural speed, even with two bolts in one leg.

"Fuck it." I said, as I aimed and pulled the Aeternus'es trigger. The three beam talismans inside its cylinder spun, quickly picking up speed as the gun drew power into itself from the engine, humming louder and louder. With the raider in my sights, the Aeternus let out repeating blasts of pink magical bolts, it firing as fast as my Outlaw, and flying around the raider as I quickly centered it onto them.

It didn't take many hits for a burning chunk to be taken out of the raider, and soon after another bolt turned them to ash. "There, the fuckers dead!" I shouted as I pushed myself back.

But Rook then shoved me forward. "The fuck I care, get the fuck moving, NOW!"

Slowtrot put a hoof to pettel, and we kicked up dust as we sped past the trailer.

"Got the trailer marked on the map." Harp said.

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Tato Town slowly appeared over the horizon as we sped across relatively flat and uncluttered ground, though now and then a bump threatened to throw me and Cavall off the Smuggler. I made a mental note to at some point add some safety thing to the gunner nest.

"Alright, turn behind that big rock that's coming up." Pyrope told Slowtrot.

"Why not just drive in with the Aeternus blasting?" I asked.

"Because we ain't saving my son if we're dead!" Rook grumbled at me. "Tato Town is well fortified, and was well armed even before it fell into raderdom. Likely, they got snipers and some other tricks to use."

As we rolled to a stop, Rook jumped off and reloaded her rifle, then loaded bullets to her empty magazine.

Pyrope had also jumped out, rushing to an outcrop of smaller bolder and pulling out binoculars to see through.

"So, are we wasting our time or not?" I asked as I jumped out of the gunner nest.

"Star, let me deal with this." Harp said as she joined me. "What's waiting for us over there?"

Pyrope quickly ducked as a bullet wizzed over his head. "Well, they clearly saw us coming. I mean, it's hard to miss with all the dust that we kicked up." He said with a coy smile. "As for what I saw, it's a bit odd actually. There were three snipers watching, and I'm sure I saw a few more ears poking up. I get preparing for an attack, but no way would they think we'd be this fast at catching up to them."

Concerned crossed Harp's face, then she eyed Rook. "Maybe they thought she'd be fast enough?"

Racking her rifle, Rook then pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "Maybe, maybe not. I aint no hero, but it would be smart of them to throw all they got to kill me." She took a deep breath, burning half the cigarette before letting out a cloud of smoke. "But smart and raider tends to not go hoof and hoof. Smart ponies tend to not go raider, not without a lot of chems involved. "

"From what we've dealt with, I have to agree." Harp said with a nod.

"Same here." Pyrope joined in. "Also, the timing was too good. My guess, they must got some boss whose brains are not rotten from chems yet."

Rook then let out a sigh. "Good, good, then we have time."

"Time, weren't you the one in a rush?" I nearly shouted.

"Oh shut your trap ya bitch!" She growled at me. "If the raiders have a boss, and this is a trap, then they ain't going to hurt Fort just yet. He's a smart colt, so he'll know not to irritate a raider when held hostage, I made sure he knew that."

"But how are we going to get in there if the raiders are watching us?" Harp then asked, but then looked as though she had a plan as Slowtrot joined us.

He looked at us with worry on his face, and asked. "Ummm, so what's the plan?"

Harp then looked back at Rook, "so, you think they're smart enough to not fall for a distraction?"

The older mare shook her head.

"Good, then I have a plan." Harp said as she trotted up to Slowtrot. "We're going to need you to draw the attention of the raiders away from here."

He looked back at the smuggler and nodded. "Ya, I can do that, but I doubt they will not follow the Smuggler without incentive."

"Agree, and that's where Star comes in." She the eyed me, ant said, "you'll mount the Aeternus, and use it to keep their eyes on you."

That I didn't agree with. "No fucking way am I leaving you with lover-colt bandit and miss murder mare! Either we both go in, or you don't"

"This is not the time to argue with me!" Harp sternly told me, staring me down.

I met her gaze with the same intensity. "Well I ain't budging!"

Pyrope then cleared his throat, getting the glare from both of us. "How about I take the gun. Truthfully I've been wanting to use it since I first saw it. Anyways, my help is not needed once your in, but outside I do know a few spots to hit to make em real ornery."

"Enough to draw them away?" Harp asked.

He smiled. "Sure as shit I can. Just need to get close enough to do the damage, and a lot of em will be rushing out to get revenge."

Harp took a moment to think about it, then nodded. "Alright, do it."

Pyrope tipped his hat at Harp with a sly smile. "But before I go, If you're going to sneak in, I suggest going in from the west. There's a big old drainage ditch that goes under the rocks. It's blocked off by a gate, but I made a copy of the key and hid it in the old dead lamp."

"Thanks, once were out, Star and I can contact you through Slowtrot." She informed the bandit.

Slowtrot tapped the radio converted pipbuck 2000. "And let us know if your in danger, and we'll come rushing in."

A sigh came from Harp, it was a mix of sorrow and trust. "Let's hope that's we'll not need to."

Harp shimmered with magic as she gave the smuggler an extra powerboost. Causing both its engine and its gun to reave to life with a fierce hum. Backing away, we then watched as Pyrope waved at us as the smuggler kicked up dirt and drove out into the open, blasting pink bolts of magic at the raider base.

"So, how long can the smuggler keep that up?" I asked, knowing that its power wasn't infinite.

"An hour, maybe two if they're careful with their shots. Slowtrot knows the smugglers limits, so don't worry." Harp answered.

"Didn't say I was." I grumbled. "Let's just get going."

Turning to get ready to trot out, Rook then put her gun in my way.

"Oy, move that thing!" I growled out.

The older mare glared at me with tired eyes. "If your so desperate to get fucked by raiders, then fine by me, but I don't have that fetish. So I suggest you just wait a few minutes for our opportunity to come."

After a long moment an explosion then went off in the direction of Tato Town, and Rook pulled her rifle back. "Now's the time."

I grabbed Harp, knowing that the small mare wasn't going to be able to keep up, and bolted after Rook, with Order buzzing behind us.

Making it to the west side unseen, we saw the drainage ditch. The thing wasn't hard to miss with all the greenery around it and glowing mushrooms. Not stopping we slid down into it, our hooves landing in muddy water, which caused my pipbuck to slowly tick with the warning of radiation. Rushing up, we found the gateway, and the old dead lamp next to it.

Rook didn't even waste time opening it, and ripped the lamp from the wall, shaking out the key. But as the older mare attempted to use the key, she began shaking uncontrollably, unable to steady herself long enough to get the key into the lock.

Harp jumped off my back, making a small splash as she took the key with her pipbuck's levitation spell. With a quick motion she had the gate open, and then turned to Rook with sympathy. "Will you be alright?"

Still shaking, Rook managed to pull out a flask and drink its contents. As quickly as it began, the shaking stopped. "Ya, it's nothing new."

"Really? You're a mess! How can we be sure you won't suddenly pass out on us or something?" I quietly chasized the alcoholic.

"Not the time, Star!" Harp hissed at me.

"Listen here, miss, stick up her asshole." Rook said to me with a quiet and stern voice. "I got my own problems, as you can tell, and your bitching ain't helping. If you really want to fight me, then do it after my son is safe again, or Luna help you for what I'll do to you."

Staring her down, I slowly swallowed my feelings. "Right… I'm sorry."

Rook let out an irradiated huff. "Good!"

As carefully and quietly as we could, the three of us entered Tato Town, an explosion in the distance letting us know that the stallions were still keeping the raiders occupied. Tato Town was almost what I had expected to see, a collection of rundown shacks decorated in vulgar graffiti, along with the parts of animals and some ponies nailed to the walls. There were also tato plants all over, but most were either dead or barely hanging onto life.

What was out of the norm was all the blue. Hanging off the shacks, the tato plants, and bursting out of the ground were thorny blue vines, in which blue flowers sprouted. It didn't take a smart pony to know what the fuck all this was, this place was infested with killing joke!

"Shit!" Rook said and spat on the ground. "It's a fucking cruel joke plantation, no wonder all the ponies here went insane!"

"Wait, that sounds familiar." Harp said as she tried to get a closer look. "Is it related to the chem, cruel tea?"

Rook pulled my friend back, keeping her away from the bramble of blue vines. "Yes, the flowers are used to make that shit. Make the pony who drinks it think they're smart, all while making them dumber than fuck. Now let's get moving, and avoid that blue bramble. I doubt it's as bad as killing joke, but I would rather not find out."

We moved on, keeping low to avoid attention, and giving any bundle of vines a wide berth. But as we moved, I couldn't help but feel watched, even if my pipbuck hadn't detected any eyes on me. Looking around, I didn't see anything, though it almost looked like the vines had moved, as though reaching out for us.

Fortunately, the town part of Tato Town wasn't all that big, and we could see the way out, and into the tato fields. Unfortunately, a raider stood in the way, the bastard holding a pipe SMG, which if fired, would warn everpony of us.

"I got this," I told the other two as I drew my cutlass and crept forward. Looking around, I saw that the cost was clear and dashed at the raider.

The raider didn't stand a chance, not even seeing my strake coming. Despite the armor around his neck, the cosmic cutlass cut through metal, leather, meat and bone as though all of it was just paper. The stallion's head slid off its body with a quiet thud, the body still standing for several seconds before simply crumbling down.

Rook then trotted past me, not even sparing me a glance. Harp on the other hoof gave me a small smile and a nod as she trotted by.

Following them, something tingled along the back of my spine, as though I was still being watched by something. Feeling compelled, I took a glance back, and swallowed nervously. The cruel joke vines were now covering the corps and dipping into the pool of blood around the body. It was as though they had burst out of the corps, with some of the vines having grown out of the raiders severed head and stretched in our direction.

"That's not a good sign." Harp said quietly as she watched the same scene as I.

Giving her a nod of agreement, I then suggested, "we probably should burn this place down later. Pony eating plants is just… wrong."

We quickly trotted off to catch up with Rook, finding the older mare drinking from her flask again, keeping low from behind an old barrel filled with rotting tato fruits.

Extending before us was a field of dry dirt and rows upon rows of burnt black dead tato plants. Mounds of dirt could be seen all over as raiders dug trenches, though no reason why could be seen. And dotting this smaller wasteland were pockets of cruel joke, in which I could make out bodies within the bramble bushes.

Following Rook's stare, I saw what she was looking at. There he was, Fort, suspended in a cage over a bramble bush of cruel joke. It really reminded me of some comic book kind of shit. But as corny the setup was, there wasn't a way to get to Fort without going through those vines. The only good thing was that the cage was suspended crudely by ropes in a way that the vines couldn't get to him, though they were halfway there already, so it was only a matter of time.

Harp turned to her pipbuck, tapping at buttons and scrolling the screen. "I have an idea, but we're only going to have one shot at it."

"Tell me." Rook demanded.

Pulling a bottle of the whiskey from her saddlebag, she uncorked it and shoved a rag halfway inside. "Had a feeling that a firebomb might come in handy. Right, so here's the plan. One of you will use the firebomb to clear the vines as Order cuts one of the ropes to bring Fort closer to us. When he jumps for it, we catch him and then we run the fuck away.

Rook looked at Harp skeptically. "That simple?"

"That or talk it out for the next few hours. Maybe the raiders have some tragic backstory they'll share with us." I said sarcastically.

"Point taken." Rook huffed at me.

Harp looked a bit guilty as she glanced over at Fort. "I'm sorry. If we had more time, I know I could come up with a better plan, but-"

Rook cut Harp off by saying, "It's fine." Then looked over at her son. "We rarely get enough time to think things out, and when we do, we overthink everything." She then pulled up her rifle. "That said, it's now or never, some of the raiders are coming back."

We saw two armored earth ponies come charging to the cage, along with a blue roadbed pegasus.

Pulling out my spyglass, I got a better look at the pegasus, and I didn't like what I was seeing. The robe was more just badly dyed rags, sewn together with vines and decorated with the cruel joke flowers. Wrapped around her head and legs were more cruel joke vines, thorns and all digging into her, witn dry blood stained her fur. Even stranger was that on one leg was a rather rusty looking pipbuck?

"Is it bad that the pegasus has a pipbuck?" I asked.

Harp pulled out her bolt launcher. "Is her knowing that hostiles are nearby bad to you?"

I readied my Outlaw, pulling back the charger and took aim. "Well if she doesn't know yet, she will know very soon!"

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