The next several months passed in a blur

I'd be hard pressed to describe much of it, it all seemed lost in a slew of hard work and torturous memories. The harvest came and went, working me to the bone, but it was bountiful, even by Equestrian standards, and Applejack had been becoming more lenient with me.

Nothing grand such as petitioning the princess on my behalf, but little things like an extra helping at dinner, or not sending me for reconditioning if when I was acting out a bit more than usual.

Of course, I didn't abuse her sudden goodwill either, in fact I did my best to work harder to keep it going. I couldn't arouse any suspicion after all.

Though I still refused to speak, I still manned the selling booth with Applejack when the season came to sell her goods. For the most part, I simply worked on delivering orders or carrying bushels of fruit home for ponies. But in the down time, a few of my friends would come and talk.

Just meaningless small talk of course, no one mentioned that strange night nor anything that had happened since.

And here I was at the last market day before the snow fell, waiting for the last orders of apple preserves to be picked up. It had been slow today, which had left me cold despite the jacket that I had been issued. It wasn't thick enough, but it was what I had on hand so I simply heaped layers on under it. Not like they'd let us wear our old uniforms. They took them from us and burnt them, claiming letting us have it would 'embolden defiance.' The Equestrians sure had a way of trying to break one's spirit.

”Well, I'm gonna go see Twilight about some of them preservin' spells she was going on about. Y'all good to man the booth by yourself?”

I give her a thumbs up and she smiles. Yes, she certainly had been far more trusting as of late. Trusting enough to leave me alone when I was working. More than enough time to pocket some stuff.

Just a few moments after she trots off, Samuel approaches the booth with a large grin on his face.

”Hey, Anonymous! How are you doing today?”

I shrugged and gestured at him as he leans on the counter

”I'm alright, thank you for asking. I'm here to pick up an order for Roseluck." He quickly checks a small note, then glances back up at me. "Ten cases of preserves. Should've gotten here earlier today."

Ah yes, he belonged to that botanist. What strange skills so many of us soldiers had taken on after the fighting. Well, besides me of course. I was the only one who was 'employed' on a farm in Equestria.

We were the lucky ones. Those sent to Griffonia...

Shaking my thoughts aside, I nod to Samuel and begin to grab his shipment, but something about the way he is feels...off.

As I finished gathering the cases of apple preserves I look a bit closer at his smiling face.

Yes, something was indeed wrong with the way he spoke, it was far too proper and stiff. His eyes told the entire story. The pupils had a slightly ragged look to them, and his gaze was distant and empty.

Reconditioning. He'd been over at Twilight's.

Samuel had never been a troublemaker, so why had he been sent off? These troubling thoughts remained as I laid the cases out and count out his payment.

It was all there, of course, and Samuel takes the cases and says his goodbyes before leaving the market stall, walking with his awkward gait.

Twilight must've really scrambled his mind. That, or Samuel was more susceptible to Equestrian magic.

Even when Applejack returned, I continued to worry about what it meant that he had gone and been reconditioned. He wasn't one to break under pressure, so I don't think he'd have revealed anything incriminating about what happened in the forest.

However, I had felt the effects of whatever magic that Twilight used. Perhaps even he might've broken.

I coukd feel mtly nerves fray as the day goes on, but Applejack doesn't say a word as we finally begin to close up the stand. The two of us take up opposite ends of the cart and begin the trip back to Sweet Apple Acres.

When we arrive, Applejack leaves me to stow the cart in the barn, presumably to go help Applebloom with dinner.

The dull labor leaves me some time to think. How would I avoid questions about what Twilight had surely told her? More importantly, how would I avoid going back to be reconditioned?

A shiver runs up my spine, but it has nothing to do with the steadily dropping temperature. Dying would be preferable to going through that again.

I knew what Samuel, the real Samuel, was going through. Trapped inside hisbown mind, screaming answers and questions that would never reach his lips.

Compared to that, even total nothingness was a mercy. I envied the dead during those moments. To embrace the final slumber instead of being a prisoner of my own body.

I shake the morose thoughts from my mind as I climb the cellar steps, having stored the last preserves from the cart. It was about time to eat, and I provably wouldn't be so dour on a full stomach.

Pushing open the door of the main house, I find Applejack seated at the dinner table, alone.

Applebloom and Granny Smith were nowhere to be seen, nor was there even a scrap of food on the table. They weren't here?

As I mutely approach, Applejack simply gestures for me to take a seat beside her.

Beside her, not across as it so usually was
had brought you here.

I could feel sweat prickling my back, nerves coming to the fore once again. She knew. She had to have known.

I take my seat beside her and she stays quiet for a while, the only sounds are the creaking of the old house as the cold wind whips it from outside.

Finally, she speaks up in a grave tone.

”Granny and Applebloom are visitin' our family in Appleloosa, they ain't been out there for a while.”

I didn't know they had extended family, or that there was even a place called Appleloosa. What a strange world

”Now then, Twi was talkin' to your friend Samuel there. You remember that big Solstice festival I let you go to?”

I nod, becoming more uncomfortable with where this was going.

”Well, Samuel mentioned somethin' about magic in the air. What's more, Twi noticed them beasts in the Everfree were getting agitated around the same time.”

My teeth bit my tongue tightly, and my body tensed up. This was it.

Applejack must've notice because she holds out her hooves to try and placate me.

”Look, I ain't sendin' y'all off for reconditioning. You ain't done anythin' that bad in ages, and if I'm real honest I didn't like how it turned you out the first time. It just weren't...you.”

She trails off, a slight blush dusting her orange cheeks. But just as quick as it appears, she shakes her head and it's gone.

”So I want to hear it right from you. Were y'all using magic at whatever party you had?”

She stays silent and I stay still. The impasse lasts for a minute, then two, but she holds out longer than I can. Slowly, my shoulders slump and I nod meekly. Applejack lets out a quiet sigh and seems to relax a bit at my compliance. I hated it, this feeling of helplessness.

"Thank ya, Anon. Now listen, I know y'all don't have magic where you come from but it ain't all the same. Unicorns use a very specific kind, it's safe and stable. But that kind in the Everfree? It's wild, dangerous stuff that makes good folks into crazy beasts.”

She reaches over and places a hoof onto my hand.

”You didn't know you were doing anythin' dangerous, so like I said you don't need to worry about any reconditioning. Just spread the word around, alright? None of us wanna make things around here any harder on y'all, but we expect the same.”

I nod in agreement. I'm not really sure how I could spread the word, but I could understand the sentiment of live and let live.

Besides, that ritual had left me with a poor taste in my mouth and a pit in my stomach. Nothing about it had sat well with me at all. The memories had been far too real to brush them off, and I had felt as though the blood had truly been coating my face again.

It was a grisly reminder of the hell that had brought us here.

”Alrighty, let's hit the hay then. Still got some work to do before the snow hits, I've got to head into town tomorrow, you'll be stayin' behind and doin' some maintenance in the tool shed. I'll show ya before I go.”

Again, I nod, and without another word Applejack heads upstairs. It's a while before I turn in on the couch that had become my new bed. The nerves that had plagued me before the conversation have gone, but in their place came different worries.

Just what had this magic done to me? Had Tor known about all this before before the ritual, had he even cared, or did the though of revenge cloud his mind?

What about everyone else, did they have experiences like I did? Relive the war?

I doubt that answers for that will ever come, and there's a part of me that hopes they never do.

At long last, sleep claims me in blessed silence.

Author's Note

Sorry for taking so long to actually write this part.

TLDR of it is that I finished my training for work and then two days after, they told me my jobsite as an apprentice would be taking me halfway across my state. So yeah, not exactly conditions for a guy to get the creative stuff flowing. But I'm back. I think? I hope.