Error 503

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Equestria Girls, Comedy, My Little Pony: A New Generation, Random
Length: 1589

Something strange has happened, leaving dozens of Anons from different timelines trapped in an endless white void. Wait, what are they doing?

Error 503: Service Unavailable.

The fabric of reality is currently undergoing maintenance, leaving Anon, Anon, and... a lot of other Anons trapped in a white void. With no other ways to kill time, their only means of entertainment while they wait to be returned to their worlds is each other.

What do Anons even do in their spare time?

Published 2023-07-07 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-07-07 19:30:01 UTC

Error 503

A strange man awakens to find himself in an even stranger place. Looking around, he discovers that he is sitting on a hard surface in an infinite white void.

"Huh. This is... odd," he thinks to himself.

Suddenly, there is a flash of light, and another, identical man appears next to him. He seems just as confused, but before they can say anything to one another, more flashes of light occur. The next thing they know, the void is filled with a bunch of these men, the physical differences between most of them being marginal at best. One brave soul dares to speak up first as they all stare at each other with confusion.

"Are you guys me?"

Another responds.

"Am I you?"

More begin to speak up.

"Are we us?"

"We are I?"

"Us we you?"

"Yes, Wii U."

"Shut up."

The men fall silent once more, no longer knowing what to say. Luckily for them, the awkward silence is disrupted by something appearing in the "sky" above them in that white void. That something is black Helvetica text reading "Error 503: Service Temporarily Unavailable. Reality is temporarily unable to service your request to exist due to maintenance downtime. You will return to your existence shortly."

"Huh," says one of the men.

"Would you look at that," says another.

"If any of you make a Matrix reference, I'll kill you."

"With kindness?"

"Sure, let's go with that."

"...So, did any of you guys get isekai'd into a world of talking ponies, or was that just me?"

"Yup," almost every other man present says simultaneously.

"Ah, good, some common ground."

"Shall we introduce ourselves?"

"Well, my name is Anon."

"My name is Anon, too."

"Yeah, I'm also Anon."

"Okay so we're literally all Anon. We, uh, REALLY need nicknames or something."

"What can we use that makes us different from each other?"

"Why don't we share a little about ourselves and go from there?"

"Okay. Well, I wound up in Equestria a few years ago, got married to Pinkie Pie, tried to-"

"Woah woah woah, you married PINKIE PIE?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Hmph. Some Anon you are. I married Rarity, like an esteemed gentleman would."

"I don't know what you two are talking about. I married the lovely Princess Cadance."

"CADANCE?!" Many other Anons express their shock simultaneously.

"Yes, Cadance. You know, Princess of Love? Ruler of the Crystal Empire?"

"What about Shining Armor?"

"Who?"

"...Okay, we're definitely all from different timelines, yeah?"

"I'd sooner agree with you than get a headache trying to figure it out."

"Why don't we have that be our method of telling each other apart? We can just refer to each other using our spouses' names."

"That sounds stupid, but whatever."

"Why, what would that make your name?"

"Pear Butter, why?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Different timelines, indeed."

The Anons all sit in a circle, with one in particular standing up to speak to the crowd.

"Alright, let's do a roll call around the circle. We've got Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pear Butter, Cadance, ...sigh, Diamond Tiara."

"How many times do I have to tell you?! She's thirty years old in my timeline!"

"...Derpy Hooves, Chrysalis, Daybreaker, Nightmare Moon, ...Zombie?"

"I don't have a wife seeing as I come from the 'zombie apocalypse' timeline. Count your blessings, gentlemen."

"Ooookay then. We have two Lunas, which we have separated into 'Luna' and 'Gamer Luna?'"

"She would be proud to be called that."

"If you say so. We have SIX Celestias, which have been named Tia 1, Tia 2, Tia 3, Tia 4, Tia 5, and Royal-Tia. I don't know WHY you insist on that nickname, but there it is."

"I promise that name makes sense to someone, somewhere."

"And what about all of us here?"

"I don't know, deal with it I guess."

"Ugh. Anyway, we have the outliers. Sunny Starscout, Misty Brightdawn, Pipp Petals, Zipp Storm, and Izzy Moonbow. The rest of us have no idea who those ponies are."

"They're from the future."

"...Right. We also have Anonfilly, I guess."

"I am going to murder Twilight, I swear."

"Good for you, little lady."

"Bite me."

"And we have a bunch more that I could name off too, but frankly, I'm bored."

"This is lame."

"I miss my wife."

"I also miss my wife."

"Don't even TRY to talk to me, Applejack."

"Man, this is a weird naming convention."

After some time, the Anons started to naturally drift apart into sub-groups, discussing whatever they could think of.

"Well, guys. It seems we've led a lot of different lives, but at least we can agree on one thing: We really love Celestia."

"I have to say, Royal-Tia, this tea is delicious. How did you even make it in an endless void?"

"I've got some pretty strong magic."

"How'd you go and accomplish that?"

"Long story. Heck, if you tried to split it into stories, it'd probably take, like, at least eleven entries to get through the whole thing."

"Stroke your ego a bit more, why don't ya? Let me guess, it ends with you and Tia getting married?"

"Pretty much. That and killing a god."

"You killed a god?"

"Well, technically a goddess, but yeah."

"..."

"...What? I had help. Including Sunny Starscout. I'm glad she's in good hands in a few other timelines."

"Man, all I did was ask to hold Tia's hoof and get sick once."

"I hate it when it's 'that' time of year for her. My lower body can't take much more of a beating."

"E-excuse me?"

"What, do you guys not have that?"

"..."

"Lucky."

"So, you're a stallion?"

"I used to be a human, actually. After ending up in Equestria, Twilight sent me through this mirror thing to another dimension where everyone else is human. But, uh, since I was a human already, I got turned into a stallion when I went through. Still married Sunset Shimmer about eight years later, though."

"She got away with marrying a stallion in a human world? I can see that being fine in Equestria, but..."

"Oh, we go back and forth between dimensions all the time. It's easier that way."

"Okay, I think I get that now, but what about you, Anonfilly? Why are you a... well, a filly?"

"Twilight thought it would be funny."

"That's it?"

"That's it. I have been plotting my revenge ever since."

"Well, good luck with that."

"Shut up."

"I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you, I'm just saying that Izzy is a bit hyper for my tastes."

"And Pipp is a bit annoying for mine."

"Now that's not fair!"

"Guys, please, settle down."

"Stay out of this, Sunny!"

"Sigh, fine. Misty, what's up with you? I don't know much about that mare."

"She was the apple of my eye when I first met her. But, er, that obviously went nowhere until we took care of Opaline."

"Who is Opaline?"

"I'VE SAID TOO MUCH."

"So, are we not going to address the elephant in the room?"

"What, the fact that our wives are five of the most important mares in Equestria?"

"No, the fact that even among all of these different timelines, the only element that none of us fell in love with is Rainbow Dash."

"In my timeline she married Applejack."

"Same here."

"What about you, Applejack?"

"She most certainly didn't in mine! She's still single to my knowledge."

"Huh. Weird."

"Are we biased or something?"

"Surely not. Who doesn't love a good tomboy?"

"Zipp over there LOVES a good tomboy, apparently."

"Maybe, if there's some sort of grand creator out there that, like, decides what we're going to say before we say it, said creator just finds it really difficult to write compelling narratives surrounding poor Dash."

"Pfft. Even a monkey with a typewriter could do that."

"Whatever you say, dude."

One Anon sits alone, far away from the crowd. He looks at the other Anons with a blank stare, occasionally mumbling to himself.

"For me, all of those mares are just cartoon characters. From my favorite cartoon."

His eyes grow slightly misty.

"Just my luck, being the only one from a timeline where I don't get isekai'd."

...

"Wish this void had something for me to hurl myself off of."

The Anons all find themselves in a circle once again, having just finished having an intense discussion regarding the geopolitical climate of Equestria and its neighbors.

"GOOSE!"

One of the Anons proceeds to book it around the circle, while one of the sitting Anons shoots to his feet to give chase.

Man, these guys are bored. How long have they been here?

All of the Anons are forced to look to the "sky" as the black Helvetica text suddenly changes to "Maintenance Complete. If reality isn't returned within 30 seconds, please fill out a support ticket."

"Oh thank goodness, I was getting SO BORED. Hey, Derpy, how long have we been here?"

The Anon nicknamed "Derpy" looks down at his watch.

"About eight minutes."

"That long, huh?"

With even less of a warning than when they arrived, the Anons all disappear from the void simultaneously, never to see each other again.

Which, let's be honest, is probably for the best.

Author's Note

Can you guess what movie I saw recently? No points for getting it right.

Also, if you're having a hard time keeping up with who is saying what...

Good. :raritywink:

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!