Fragility

Chapter 4

Monsters

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[Grimdark][Tragedy]

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Day 22 —

This morning I awoke with a bit of a start. I had no idea just how strong her will to follow orders was.

“At first chance, after arriving at your home, come to my home and knock on the door.”

Apparently this had her arriving before the crack of dawn. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if it was her or somepony else breaking and entering. Either way, I answered the door with a heavy prism held behind my back.

She just stood there, once more, with nothing more than a blank expression on her face and almost-perfect posture. I write “almost-perfect” to correct myself from yesterday. In fact I should say this is “almost-perfect” mind control. Perfection is impossible in most scenarios. It is certainly impossible in such vague, subjective areas as posture and control.

That is my goal today. To further test the extent of mental domination. I’m not convinced that willingness to cause self-harm is so much a sign of total control so much as blatant charisma mixed with the subject’s natural stupidity.

I digress, however. As you may have guessed, I am writing this entry in the morning. I won’t be attending classes today, and I expect all of my day will be consumed with testing her limitations.

And no, I don’t expect this to be all revenge. At most, I’ll destroy her dignity, but only before me, not in public. That is a test for another day.

— Crystal Shard

Day 23 —

Today marks a rather noteworthy milestone. And I shall make it clear, so that I and any readers may understand.

Starting today, I am free of all of the terms set out by my therapist, Heart Stream.

Unfortunately, the circumstances surrounding this make it more of a confusing than joyous occasion.

It all started when I was pulled aside by Heart Stream. No, I don’t mean he asked me. Literally, he dragged me into his office by my tail. Of all the indignities I’ve suffered— I’m sorry, that’s not the point. He was furious that I hadn’t shown up yesterday, especially after the incident at the Ball. I had Limelight wait in the hall. Somehow, he didn’t question this at the time.

He demanded that I let him see my journal. I’ll admit, I almost gave it to him, before I remembered the more recent entries. I dodged the question, kept it away from his hooves, and all of that.

Of course he managed to slip it out of my hooves with magic anyway. Not my mistake, in this case, but his.

He skimmed over the newest entries, as usual. He asked a few short questions over my opinions of Limelight. I was honest, of course. I believe he’s just used to my language by now. Honestly, he didn’t seem to give a damn anymore.

It was the last entry of the prior week that made him stop and actually read the material. As you can imagine, his reaction was less than favorable.

“You have to end it,” he said. “Right now. Whatever you’re doing to her, you—”

“I’m not going to abandon a groundbreaking area of study just because you tell me to.”

“It’s not groundbreaking, it’s cruel!” he retorted.

“More cruel than if I had let her fall out the window?”

“Oh, we’ll be discussing that later. But yes, I believe it is a fate worse than death.”

“Enlighten me,” I insisted.

“She can’t move, she can’t speak... can she even think for herself right now?!”

“Could she do that beforehand?” I scoffed.

“This is serious, Crystal. Let her go. Now.”

I simply shook my head.

“Crystal!”

And then came the moment that finally shocked me.

I leaned up to his face, glared into his eyes, and simply said, “Stop talking.”

He leaned back in his seat, eyes staring out into empty space. “Yes, Crystal.”

Just like that, I had accidentally managed to garner a new test subject. And believe me, I checked for myself. Limelight was still waiting patiently at the door, probably confusing all of the passersby with her blank stare.

The strangest thing about this was that this time, I hadn’t tried to cast a spell. It was automatic. Both the crystal on my necklace, which I’ve refused to take off since enslaving Limelight, and my horn were glowing. The crystal hummed, just as it had a few nights before. But even with two entirely separate ponies under my control, I felt no weariness from the effort. Rather, I felt well-rested. Of course compared to the night before, getting any prior sleep would’ve made me feel well-rested.

I brought Limelight inside to test. Sure enough, I had as much control over both as I ever could’ve wanted.

“Sit down,” I said.

Both sat down across the table from me, and repeated in near-perfect unison, “Yes, Crystal.”

I paused to think, then said, “Limelight, stand up.”

Only she did. Heart Stream remained on the ground.

Asymmetric control, as well as perfect obedience. The only troubling fact of this was that they remembered their names. Although this is probably okay. If I ever release them, should I find a means to, then I won’t have to re-teach them everything.

The one remaining mystery became the exact cause. Clearly it was magic, clearly it happened during stressful situations. The only real connection was that I, the caster, wanted somepony else, the target, to do something that they weren’t doing, and that the crystal seemed to assist the spell.

Further testing is required. However, I do believe that I should determine the extent of my control, when split between two subjects, before worrying about the exact cause. Just in case I should lose that control prematurely.

— Crystal Shard

Day 24 —

Not much to report today. Two days ago, Limelight’s test proved successful obedience across the board. Today, both her and Heart Stream’s tests proved identical results. Eerily identical results I might add. Their actions mirrored even each other, notwithstanding differences in their builds. Although to be perfectly honest, Heart Stream does have a relatively feminine build.

I’ve come to the conclusion that, given that the crystal necklace is still glowing while my horn isn’t, the crystal has taken the burden of managing the energy necessary to maintain control. However, I do have one further test to determine if this is, in fact, the case. It is late tonight as I write this. The new test will have to wait until morning.

Oh, and some of the staff from the University have started asking around about the two. I’ll be staying on “leave” and hiding the two until I’m ready to come forward with my discoveries, as I’m sure the professors couldn’t possibly appreciate these breakthrough discoveries as much as a fresh mind. Or they might want to take credit in some manner. Either way, I must keep this hidden.

— Crystal Shard

Day 25 —

The new test has proven results I would never have predicted in eons. This is good news that I am reporting. Very, very good news.

I was a little wary at first. I tested my personal crystal’s resonance this morning by determining the relative strength increase on my telekinetic magic. Assuming that me and Heart Stream had approximately the same mental strength unaided by high emotions or resonance, I directed him to lift a prism across the room, then place it back. I’ve learned through observation that no time is spared in completing objectives that the thralls have been given, and this was no exception.

Total time to complete the task: approximately twelve seconds.

I moved myself into the same location and attempted to repeat his results. The prism ended up flying towards us. In a panic, I released it mid-flight. I should’ve instructed one of them to catch it, but instead it slammed into Heart Stream’s chest. He barely recoiled from the blow.

To be safe, I instructed him to replace the prism, rather than do it myself. This time I anticipated the speed. I had to react slightly faster than I believe I should’ve, but I managed to slow the prism down before it hit anypony on the second attempt.

Total time for me to complete the task: approximately three seconds.

Tenfold may have been an exaggeration before, but I can’t be sure. There exists no proper unit of measure for magical strength, and I doubt that if it did exist it would have a direct relationship to speed of telekinesis.

In any event, this left me with two potential hypotheses for the test I had already planned on conducting today.

Neither were proven correct.

The original idea was that I could similarly “attach” crystals to the other subjects in order to transfer the burden of their maintaining control over them to a more obvious and less-stressed source.

After today, I had an alternative hypothesis. Giving subjects their own crystals would amplify their magical ability, which they clearly still had full use of, to similar states as my own. The only difference would be that they could more easily manage the difference in power without worry of self-harm.

So, I once again used extra cord to fashion a necklace with a crystal. Just to be on the safe side, I picked a smaller one than my own. I gave the necklace to Heart Stream, then instructed him to perform the prism-lifting test from before.

Total time to complete the task: approximately eleven seconds, optimistically.

I was puzzled. I had him repeat the test with and without the crystal at least seven times. Every time, he had no real improvement due to the crystal. At first I thought it might’ve been due to an improper “spark” to “light” the crystal. But then I tried to lift the crystal off of his neck.

It shot upward, scraping his jaw sharply, and almost smashed to the ceiling. I carefully replaced it.

The crystal was glowing cool blue.

Of course, I performed the prism-lift myself a few more times.

Total time, on average, to complete the task: approximately one second.

Multi-resonance, just like in the dome on the night of the ball. Of course, it only made sense. I blame being overwhelmed by all of this discovery of late for my stupidity in missing this simple answer.

And yes, I have since applied a crystal to Limelight as well. So long as I may control this additional reserve of power, there is no use in not making use of it.

— Crystal Shard

P.S. Today’s visiting royal guards were morons. I swear I didn’t even have to say “no I haven’t seen them” with a straight face for them to take me for my word.

Day 26 —

I don’t know if it has to do with the increased capacity or not, but I’ve proven that two is far from my limit. I’m now up to four ponies under my control, and I don’t notice any mental strain on my behalf.

I decided to experiment in the field today. And by “field” I of course mean any social setting, not a grassy plain with flowers. In this case, the University. Risky, yes, but I managed to keep enough of a distance between me, Limelight, and Heart Stream to avoid suspicion. Combined with an order to “act natural, yet busy”, nopony had a fucking clue as they just got passed off as somepony else’s problem by the two. It’d almost be hilarious if not for the glory of this discovery.
First, the moment that left me in utter disbelief. I thought Limelight was a moron. I was mistaken. Her friends were and are morons.

Now, I’m not one for overt practical jokes, but I saw the opportunity as too easy. Two of her “cult” as I like to refer to them as were waiting outside of a classroom. Heart Stream was directed to pass by into his office and wait. Limelight was directed to approach her friends. I watched from around a corner, a simple voice-throwing spell ready to direct Limelight further.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Oh, good morning, Limelight!”

“Where have you been? We’ve been so worried!”

There is no proper way to express in writing just how insincere their concern sounded. Perhaps if I were to infer their thoughts, I may be able to. But I’m controlling minds, not reading them.

“Nowhere important,” she replied.

“W-what happened to your dress?” asked one of the simpletons.

Oh that’s right, I forgot to mention this. I left her in the same garb since the night I first captured her. Including the holes torn by the shattered window.

“I made some stylistic changes.”

To be perfectly honest, I never expected them to believe that line. How they did is completely beyond me. It would only seem to further support the moron hypothesis. I even humored them by faking a conversation through Limelight for a good few minutes. The exact details began to disgust me. No wonder they couldn’t see that she was mindless. The conversation had less real meaning to it than Limelight’s voice had emotion to it.

“I really like your dress, by the way!” one of them said.

I had enough. By now it wasn’t fun anymore. It was just mind-numbing. Perhaps I could forgive Limelight for her stupidity, had it not been likely her fault that the conversation went this way to begin with.

I passed around the corner, leaving Limelight to stand at attention. As usual, these friends gave me their practiced condescending stares.

“Oh, look who it is, Limelight!” one of them insisted.

Of course there was no answer. The fool.

“Yes, Limelight, do look at me, if you would. And you may resume standard acknowledgement.”

“Yes, Crystal,” she said, obeying just so.

Her friends’ jaws might as well have hit the floor. I couldn’t help but scoff at their ignorance.

“What are you doing?!” one of them asked Limelight in a sharp whisper. Again, I couldn’t resist the laugh. She tried to nudge Limelight, but I pushed her aside effortlessly with magic. I noted a particularly strong hum from my crystal at the time. It only made sense, though. A full grown pony took about as much effort to move as a book would normally, thanks to the resonance.

“Give it up,” I said. “Your old ‘friend’ is with me now.”

“How could you possibly—” She fumbled with her words. The other was merely dumbstruck.

I was too, for the moment. Somehow, I hadn’t triggered the spell as I meant to. Either that meant that I would be limited to just two, which was unexpected, or I hadn’t met every prerequisite for a successful takeover. I ended up with a lucky hunch.

“Limelight,” I directed, “tell her she’s worthless.”

“You’re worthless,” she said.

Her friend’s expression broke immediately. In keeping with my hunch, I waited to see the glint of a tear in her eye before making my next move.

“How could you say that...” she muttered pathetically.

“Now, listen to me,” I insisted. I even grabbed her head in magic and forced her to face me. “Give it up. Now.”

The hunch was more than right. Her eyes went from miserable to flat and blank in all of half of a second.

But accompanying this was the strangest thing. I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. Not only were my horn and the crystal on my necklace glowing from the spell, but so were Limelight’s. Specifically, Limelight had leaned back, shut her eyes, and the glow came across as a hexagonal pattern manifest in the air from the center of her forehead. And it was in the color of my magic, not hers.

“Yes, Crystal,” said her friend. I believe it was about now that the other students began to crowd around at a distance to watch. There was some kind of disturbed murmur beginning amongst them.

“Heart Stream!” I called. “Get out here!”

When he came out of his office, he had the residual signs of magic use, including the glowing crystal and a faint version of the pattern lingering around his face. He acknowledged the command once he took his position behind me.

Tears flowed freely from the panicked friend remaining. “What’s going on?! How are you— How is she—”

I believe this was the best line I could’ve come up with to trigger it in this case.

“Please,” I said. “Don’t be scared.”

So there you have it. I’m up to four “recruits”, with no apparent repercussions. Well, none to my personal being at least. After the crowd screamed and dispersed, University officials personally escorted me and my “victims” off of the grounds in a hurry. And by “escorted” I mean physically thrown out, along with a desperately-toned and -phrased informal expulsion with threat of arrest by the royal guard. I’m not sure if that actually counts as a real expulsion or not, or if that applies to those I have under my control. They might’ve actually said something about releasing them, come to think of it.

Either way, I’m sure I could find a way to teleport myself or any of the others inside should I need to. Plenty of energy to go around between a five-crystal resonance pattern.

Note to self: determine a single word to use in reference to those I have mental control over.

— Crystal Shard

Day 27 —

Today’s word for them shall be “thralls”, to test its use in conversation and the journal.

I decided that I should have a period of time between yesterday and when I do attempt to return to the University, if for nothing else than to allow for the idea of this school of magic to grow on the higher-ups. Not that a break would necessarily be a bad thing. I have enough thralls for now to act as both lab assistants and test subjects.

Today’s tests consisted of measuring pain tolerance among the thralls.

As with Limelight, there appears to be no limit. Nothing made any of the subjects respond in any manner whatsoever besides physically accommodating the movement of the hot iron or the knife. All these accomplished were blue-black burns and some deep cut wounds across their legs and sides. The best I could manage to fix the wounds was a hasty stitching job. At least it stopped the bleeding.

I also had a chance to play around with what I like to call the “joint casting”, the phenomenon that occurred yesterday with Limelight and Heart Stream upon enthralling the others. So far I’ve determined a few key features. For one, it never occurs in reaction to telekinesis, but does occur for almost every other spell unless I forcibly minimize that spell’s potency. In addition, the color is always that of my magic, nopony else’s. To that fact, only I may trigger a joint cast. If I instruct one of the others to cast a spell, it is limited to their ability only.

I’ve devised a new protocol in relation to the day’s events. I shall generate the illusory image of every given thrall over top of their true image, possibly masking their true image in the process. This illusory copy will prevent me from having to see injuries or other, similar occurrences inflicted during testing.

Also, out of boredom, I believe I will start this practice on myself as well. Any imperfections or other problems I have with my appearance should be masked automatically that way.

Not that I’m the kind of pony to constantly fret over her appearance, mind you.

— Crystal Shard

Day 28 —

Why?

Why?

Why?

For four hours I’ve been asking myself that simple question. Why?

I finally picked this journal up to organize my thoughts. Heart Stream’s methods be damned if they don’t work most of the time. But right now I don’t think even this will make me feel any more secure.

Honey Comb passed by my home today. I should’ve noticed. I should’ve dropped what I was doing. I should’ve even answered the door. Instead all I did was shout “Busy!” and continue on. I am but an imbecile.

Later I decided to take the others to visit Honey Comb. I believe to make up for earlier in the day.

I forget myself sometimes. I promise no perfect accuracy, but I feel it best to tell the events exactly as they occurred. I can promise as much as that I will not forget what happened for some time. The events have not stopped repeating themselves in my head for four hours.

“Honey Comb?” I called when I arrived. “Are you here?” Receiving no response, I ventured further inside. Once the door had shut behind us I realized just how dark it was in the house. It was— and still is, an overcast day. Inside it felt like night had already fallen.

The entryway was simple. Something easy to afford. The entire abode was. I imagine it was whatever she could manage after costs for the university.

There was something unnerving about the old furniture in the darkness. It was almost as if every creak from every chair and wood cabinet was made by something trying to hide from yet watch me. I didn’t spend much time in the living room.

I finally found Honey Comb in the kitchen. She was standing before the sink, silhouetted by the light shining in through pulled curtains.

“Oh there you are,” I said. “I apologize for before, I was simply preoccupied—”

“You were busy,” she finished for me. “You were caught up in this new research.” Her voice was barely audible.

“Well I’m finished for today, and I thought I’d check in on you,” I explained. “Here, watch: Limelight, fetch us some cups for tea.”

“Yes, Crystal.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Honey muttered.

“Nonsense, it’ll be like having our own little serv—”

“Please!” she yelled suddenly. I caught glimpse of her eye: bloodshot, wide open.

“Honey Comb, are you alright?” I asked. “And Limelight, hold on.”

A tear fell from Honey’s eye. “Look at yourself,” she said. “What are you even doing?”

“I’m sorry?” I tilted my head. “Well I’m standing, and talking to you, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Crystal!” she yelled again, slamming her hoof to the ground. “Open your fucking eyes already!”

I had never heard Honey Comb swear before. I calmed my tone of voice as best I could. “I’m sorry, Honey Comb. I still don’t know what you mean."

She hid her face from me. “I don’t even know you anymore,” she muttered. “I thought you were better than this.”

“Honey—”

“I thought you weren’t like they said you were!”

“I really don’t—”

“Crystal, you’ve become a... a complete monster!” she screamed. “Why are you doing this to them?!”

“It’s just an experiment. I’ll let them go when it’s over.”

“Liar,” she accused. “This won’t be over until you’ve proven you can kill them. I know you. I know your ‘limits’. You don’t have any. So long as you get results, it’s all perfectly fine for you, isn’t it?”

“This is differe—”

“No it isn’t!” she yelled. “I’ve seen you. They’re just puppets to you. Slaves. Worthless bags of flesh. They’re your playthings. Crystal, nopony cuts open a live pony for any justifiable reason. And you know that!”

“This is a form of magic never before effectively utilized in the history of magic—”

“You know why? Because it’s cruel. It’s evil. It’s sick.” She shook her head. “I don’t know why I’m even bothering.”

“Honey Comb, you know I wouldn’t waste my time if I didn’t have a purpose to my research.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” she muttered. “You only spend time on important things.”

“Precisely.”

“That’s why you forgot about me so easily.”

“I’m sorry, what?!”

Honey Comb smiled as another tear dropped from her face. “My father’s dead. I miss him. I really miss him. And for a while, I didn’t think it was worth it.”

“What was worth what?” I asked softly. She outright ignored me.

“I got some encouragement from Heart Stream, you know. To move on. He advised me to seek shelter in the loved ones I still had. Friends, family,” she explained. With a sigh, she added the lynchpin to her story. “I had confided in you for comfort.”

“Well I’m sorry that I was busy for a short while, but you seemed to have moved on! How was I to know—”

“You walked out on me that night at the Ball,” she mumbled. “And you never came back.”

“I was trying to defend you,” I insisted.

“Not just that night. I never saw Crystal again.”

“Honey, I’m Crystal. I’m right here.”

“You’re not Crystal. You’re not my friend.”

I shook my head. In a raised voice, I demanded, “And what makes you say that?!”

“You’re not the same,” she muttered. “You’re hurting these ponies. And you won’t stop.” She shut her eyes and sighed. Suddenly her eyes snapped open again. She yelled, “You took away the only comfort I had left!”

“Honey, I—”

“Enough!” she screamed. She buckled over, sobbing. “I’m done. I know I won’t be able to reason with you.”

“What is there to reason with? You’re clearly overreacting.”

“I’m alone,” she muttered between tears. “And I’m scared.”

And finally I saw the knife. A butcher’s cleaver, hovering by way of her magic. And Honey had it held up to her throat.

“Honey Comb, wait, I’m sorry, I—” I blurted out everything I could think of at once.

“Goodbye, Crystal,” she said flatly. “Or whatever monster you are now.”

I tried to stop it. I truly did. I will never stop telling myself that. But I forgot my magic in the moment. I forgot about the crystals, I forgot about my victims. I forgot common fucking sense.

My hoof slammed to the counter just as the knife whisked by. Her blood splashed across my face. Some even hit me in the eye. It didn’t keep the sight from being as vivid as it remains now. I could see through the blood. The slashed muscles flailing within her neck as she gargled and choked on the spit, blood, and probably vomit. Her eyes rolled back while more tears gushed out. I was frozen. There was absolutely nothing I could do but watch. Watch as my best friend succeeded in ending her own life.

All because of me.

I started crying uncontrollably. For the record, I haven’t stopped yet. I held onto her as she collapsed, her blood running over me. Mixed with my tears, it must have looked like a red river running into a pool on the floor.

I buckled over her and shut my eyes, trying to fight the tears. There was a part of me that wanted to grab the knife and join her. But again, I forgot my magic.

“No!” I choked out. I heard a faint voice behind me.

“What... where...” Limelight muttered.

My eyes widened. Control had been broken. The spell was gone. I was losing them. I had no choice but to act quickly. Rashly.

“No!” I screamed and whipped around to face her. The hum that accompanied the scream was nothing short of the most unnatural noise ever to cross my ears. Just from that, I felt a migraine as it started. I’m not sure, but I may have even triggered a nosebleed in the action. Either way, what happened next dwarfed all before it in my memory.

Limelight coughed once. Then a second time, spitting up blood onto the floor. She looked at her stomach, then me.

I realized my horn was glowing, as well as both of our crystals.

She screamed. And she didn’t stop. She coughed up another spattering of blood, then fell to the floor. Blood began to run out of her eye sockets. Blood mixed with tears, likely, as seems to be the theme of the day. Soon from her nose and ears, too. The blood started to give off steam. Her right eye rolled back into her head, then quite literally melted into a shivering bloody blob. I imagine it had the consistency of an egg prepared for breakfast. She convulsed on the floor as she entered shock. Her mouth fell open, releasing a cloud of steam and another stream of blood.

The final straw was when her second eye rolled out of her head and melted on the floor. I leaned on the counter and vomited profusely into the sink. I dared another glance at Limelight.

Her body was shriveled up into a pale mass. Her coat had simply dropped off of her in places. She looked more like a wilted skeleton than a pony anymore, laying in a four foot diameter puddle of blood, hair, and flesh.

The rest doesn’t matter in so much detail. I left Limelight’s corpse in that house. Honey Comb, on the other hoof, I could never leave. But I haven’t spoken a word since “Please take Honey Comb’s body home with us.”

Why?

She is on heavy refrigeration at the moment. As best as I could manage at least. It involves a sealed area and magically chilled prisms. I don’t feel like explaining the details. And I shut her eyes and cleaned off her coat, of course.

I have much to think about. Everything she said. What happened to Limelight. What to do about Honey Comb from here.

If I am already a monster, I should have no reservations. And I owe it to her. She deserves so much better than this.

I need this journal now more than ever. My brain is losing its grip. Overwhelmed by emotions. I can barely stand it.

Tomorrow I will explain new policies. Tonight, I must try to stop crying so that I may sleep. Whether I deserve it or not.

Why?

— C