Panty, Stocking & Spike With Garterbelt

by Caecae97

Rating: mature
Tags: Narcotics, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Spike, Comedy, Self Insert, Profanity, Violence, Crossover, Sex
Length: 3416

After dying and being sent to Daten City, Spike joins two beautiful fallen angels in a mission to buy his way into Heaven. Chaos and sex await.

Spike's life wasn't that great to begin with, not many friends, no love interests, and the alcoholism didn't help either. One day, he passes away in his sleep because of a fire that a stray cigarette started. Because of some of his less memorable decisions he's made in life, he is denied entry to Heaven, but is told God will forgive him. For 1000 Heaven Coins. Sent to Daten City in search of Heaven Coins, he comes across the Anarchy Sisters, two famous fallen angels, along with Garterbelt, a reverend who sends word from God to the sisters. With their help, he's on a quest to make enough to buy his way into Heaven. But he soon learns that Daten City isn't all that bad. Will he abandon his quest and just enjoy his now immortal life, or will he know eternal peace in Heaven?

Labeled Self-Insert for My Role as Narrator
Kink Warnings: BDSM, M/F, M/F/F, F/M, Femdom, Electrocution, Incest, Libido Enhancement, Mind break, Food Play, Lots of Sluts, Exhibitionism, Gangbang, Tentacles, More TBA

Published 2023-07-15 07:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-11-29 17:17:49 UTC

Welcome To Heaven, 1,000 Heaven Coins Please

Spike was passed out drunk on his couch in his apartment. He had a long, tiring, annoying day at work, so the first thing he did when he got home was drink a pint of Jack, rent some porn on demand, and light up a jay. This was a normal day for him, but this time, things are different.

Spike snored as his joint, still lit, dropped onto the floor, lighting the alcohol he'd spilled. Within a matter of moments, the whole place was on fire.

10 Minutes Later...

The fire department had put out the fire and were inspecting the damage and told the landlord, "Looks like the fire started from a drunk with a cigarette. He's in a better place... I mean, anywhere other than this is better."

And just like that, Spike was dead and has moved on to Heaven. The End.

...

...

Psyche! Did you really think it'd be that simple? Hell no! I don't work that way, and you're an idiot for thinking I do.

Spike woke up to a guy nudging him with his boot. Still a bit drunk, he stood up and looked around, seeing clouds and a large golden gate and asked, "Wait, am I dead?"

The man who stood in front of him as he got up said, "Unfortunately, yes. You died in a fire."

"Well, at least I can know eternal peace and rest my weary soul."

After clearing his throat, the man said, "Yes, about that... the circumstances of your death require more than... Look, I'll cut to the chase. God will forgive you and allow you to enter Heaven for 1,000 Heaven Coins."

"What!? I have to buy my way into Heaven!? How the fuck does that work!?"

"Sorry buddy, I don't make the rules, I just beat up people who don't follow them. And just a warning, if you try to force your way past me, the boss will double the entry fee."

Spike grumbled, "I demand to speak to your manager!"

The angel's eyes widened and said, "Trust me buddy, you don't want to mess with the manager. He's-" before feeling a chill down his spine.

Suddenly, a man with a mask came up to them and said, "Is there a problem Michael?"

The angel, known as Michael, gulped as he turned to see his boss and said, "N-No sir, just a dispute about Heaven's entry fee. This guy's just asking questions about the rules."

The masked man looked to Spike and pulled out a small book and asked, "Spike Drake, eh? You lived a pretty shit life, lots of pot, even more alcohol, both of which were responsible for your death... Yeah, I can't forgive you for nothing. Sorry pal, if I bend the rules for you, it shows preferential treatment, and that never ends well. Last time I showed preferential treatment, it ended up causing the Spanish Inquisition. Not one of my best moments."

Spike sighed, "Fine, fine. So how do I go about getting these Heaven Coins?"

"Well, there's two ways, both of them involve living in a place called Daten City, it's what most religions call limbo. Option one, get a damn job. Option two, kill demons."

Spike nodded, "I guess I'll be going to this Daten City place. I was never good at most jobs, so maybe being a demon hunter will be interesting."

"Oh, and by the way, take this." before handing Spike an envelope, "Give this to the Anarchy Sisters. Those bitches owe me three centuries of back rent. You'll know them when you see them, they're also a team of demon hunters. Oh, and if you meet Reverend Garterbelt, tell him there's no shota in this project."

Spike was a bit confused, but nodded, "Yeah, sure thing. Now which way to Daten City?"

Michael pulled down on a rope, and Spike fell through the clouds, when I asked him, "You do realize there's a set of stairs, right?"

Michael nodded, "Yes sir, I know, I just enjoy screwing with people. Besides, it's what you wanted me to do."

"Fair enough. Well, back to work." I said before leaving and heading back to my office.

As Spike fell from Heaven, he yelled, "I'm gonna kick your ass when I get those Heaven Coins!" before hitting the ground, or rather crashing into a motorcycle with two girls on it.

As the crash happened, one girl, wearing a red dress with blonde hair yelled at him, "What the fuck!? Did you think that just because we're dead, we can't feel pain!?"

The second girl, with blue and dark pink hair sighed, "Relax Panty, he's here for the same reason as us. Remember that letter Chuck spit up?"

The blonde girl grumbled, "Since when do I read the mail?"

Spike stood up and asked, "Are you the Anarchy Sisters? I was asked to deliver this to you if I met up with you."

Panty snatched the envelope from Spike's hands and as she read the papers inside, she ripped them up. "That asshole writer still thinks we owe him back rent after he kicked us out of Heaven!?"

The other girl sighed, "Sorry about her, she's got a personal beef with the writer. I'm Stocking, this is my older twin sister Panty. To answer your question, yes, we're the Anarchy Sisters. We were actually on our way to meet you. Why didn't you just take the stairs?"

Spike's eyes widened, "There were stairs!? Some angel named Michael pulled a rope and I fell down here!"

Panty chuckled, "Classic Michael, he really knows how to be a dick. Too bad his is so small, he's actually pretty handsome, but not where it counts."

Spike rolled his eyes, "TMI doll, TMI."

"Did you just call me doll? Are you asking for a beatdown?"

"I don't fight girls. Besides, I'd hate to singe such beautiful blonde hair."

Panty rolled her eyes, "Like you could even try." before noticing Spike's body features, cute face, vicious indifference, strong build, all in all, the things she loved, "Well, I guess I don't mind having you around, you are pretty hot."

"Whatever. Is there a bar around here? I can't kill demons without a weapon, and my flame breath doesn't work right without enough alcohol in my thermo-respiratory glands to act as fuel."

As Stocking was getting her sister's motorcycle off the ground, she looked at Spike and asked, "Wait, that asshole sent you here with no weapon? Ugh, just another problem to deal with. The closest bar is an hour away, we've got stuff for you to chug down back at the house, and Garterbelt can get you a good weapon."

Spike nodded, "Fine, I might as well give him the message those assholes upstairs told me to. I can fly fast enough to keep up. Lead the way."

And so, Spike has died, and after being denied entry into Heaven because of his past mistakes in life, he is forced to work a part-time job as a demon hunter. Luckily, he's made acquaintance with the famed Anarchy Sisters, fallen angels that got kicked out of Heaven for bad behavior, and are also looking for Heaven Coins. Little does Spike know that they've been here for three hundred years with little to no intention of trying to head back home. Will Spike fare the same way?

Only Time Will Tell...

Spike's Old Life

As the Anarchy Sisters rode Panty's motorcycle back to their place and Spike flew after them, Spike was taking in the sights of Daten City. It appeared similar to Las Vegas, casinos, strip clubs, gun ranges, and the like. As Spike landed in front of the house where Panty and Stocking stopped, he asked them, "So, what's Daten City like? So far, I feel like I'm in Las Vegas, only I'm not passed out drunk with no money. Yet at least."

Panty chuckled, "That's just this section of town, the Daemon Light District. Why we live in this area is cause the writer decided to send us to the most ironic district, we're fallen angels living in the Daemon Light District, just how it is." Before unlocking the door and saying, "Come on stud, let's get you something to drink."

As they entered the house, Stocking went to the fridge and got some coconut pudding for herself, and a couple of beers for all of them, getting two for Spike and one for herself and Panty. "Since you just died, you're completely sober. The writer always made it so when you die when you're drunk, you're immediately sober when you make it to the afterlife."

Spike cracked open the first beer Stocking gave him and said, "I guess that makes sense. In a stupid kind of way." before chugging down the beer and burping up a small green flame, smiling, "That's the stuff." and opening his second beer, taking it in slower than he did with the first one.

Panty sat down next to Spike on the couch and asked him, "So, we've got no missions right now, why don't you tell us about yourself?"

"Not much to tell you, my life wasn't that great, 9 to 5 job, not a lot of friends, and most girls don't like dating alcoholics." before taking another sip of his beer, "Chances are nobody really misses me, my parents died years ago, and I'm an only child. Just another nobody."

Stocking took a spoonful of her pudding and as she ate it said, "There's no such thing as a nobody, everyone has a purpose. Just because you haven't found it yet doesn't mean it's not there."

Spike smiled, "Thanks Stocking, that's sweet of you." before finishing the last of his beer and asking, "So, you mentioned getting me a weapon?"

Panty nodded and stood up from the couch saying, "Our weapons are magical, that's how we conceal them." before smirking and looking to Spike, "Enjoy the show cutie." before lifting up her dress and slipping her panties down and off her legs, revealing her pussy.

Spike blushed as the blonde angel took off her underwear, but was too shocked to say anything, only to see her panties magically turn into a pistol.

Stocking sighed, "Sorry about her, when she sets her sight on a man, she's too damn persistent. Anyway, my weapons are a bit less sexy, but here they are." before taking off he stockings, transforming them into a pair of katanas.

Spike realized what they were getting at, "Wait, your weapons take the form of your lingerie?"

Hey, don't blame me on this one, this is how they came, this ain't my creation. Well, the project is, but... oh screw it, just give him his damn weapon!

Panty shot her pistol into the air above her yelling, "Piss off bighead!"

Hah! You missed!

"Did I?" before my collection of adult videos fell from the shelves behind me

"You realize this means war?"

"Bring it on scary godfather, bring it on!"

Stocking cleared her throat and said, "As much as I'd love a fight with the writer, we can't finish this chapter if you two keep getting off track."

"Dammit, she's right. This ain't the end of this Panty, I'll get the last laugh."

Spike sighed and said, "Ok, so I'm guessing my weapon is disguised as a pair of men's underwear?"

Panty grumbled, before looking over to Spike and saying, "Yeah, and I think I've got the perfect weapon for you." before heading through a back door and coming back out with an obsidian axe with glowing lava flowing along the blade's extreme edges. "Here it is, Malice."

As Spike was handed the axe, he held it in his hands, "Nice, this is a badass weapon." before it turned into a pair of boxers and he smirked, "Well, you showed me yours, so I'll show you mine." before taking his pants off, then his underwear, revealing not one, but two 13-inch reptilian dicks.

Panty was practically drooling when she saw Spike's dicks and pretended to pout when he put Malice and his pants back on. "Damn, and I was enjoying the show. Ah, no matter, I'll have my fun soon enough."

Spike smiled, "I could say the same about you."

Stocking licked the coconut pudding off her lips in a seductive manner and asked, "While I'm not opposed to a nice dick, may I ask why you don't have any balls? I mean that literally, not as an insult."

"Reptilian anatomy, we have internal testicles. Best part about it, nut shots don't do a damn thing."

"I suppose that makes sense." before looking to her sister, "Shouldn't that idiot reverend be back by now? I told him we were picking up our new partner, he said he'd be back soon."

"How the hell should I know? If it weren't for the rules this damn site has, the readers would be reading a badly written sex scene with him and some unfortunate kid."

As they started to argue, a large black man with an afro came in and yelled, "Hey, what are you two bitches fighting about now?"

Spike looked over to the man and asked, "You must be Reverend Garterbelt. Got a message from the asshole upstairs. Sorry you freaking pervert, but there's no shota in this project." before standing up, walking over to him and saying, "He also told me to do this." before ramming his steel-toed shoe into the reverend's groin.

As the reverend fell to the floor, I laughed in union with the Anarchy Sisters, "Ha! I can't believe I didn't think of that earlier! Especially considering his history with young men. I've got nothing against being homosexual, but that asshole takes it too far. Gives the church a bad rep with his sick perversions." before I said, "Well folks, I think that's enough for this chapter, so I'll just get to the outro."

And so, Spike has gotten to know the Anarchy Sisters, and after getting a look at Panty's snatch, has revealed his own dicks to the girls. Along with Spike getting his new weapon Malice, he's had a good day with some hot girls. And after delivering the Lord's message to Reverend Garterbelt, he's made good friends with the Anarchy Sisters and has earned some recognition from the Lord. And while he's in pain, Garterbelt has news for the trio. What is that news?

Find out next time!

An Unorthodox First Fight

Spike had been in Daten City for about a week, and he had gotten used to using Malice, and had gotten closer to Panty and Stocking. Today however, was different. Spike was sitting on the couch with Panty and Stocking, listening to what Garterbelt said, "Ok you three, we got a mission to stop scammer demons from posting pay to view content on free web forums."

Stocking asked the reverend, "Since when is piracy supposed to be our area of expertise? And is this really something that we need to take care of instead of just calling the DCPD?"

"The cops won't do shit unless it's an emergency. And besides, I'm just the messenger, take it up with the asshole upstairs."

Spike grumbled, "Well, at least this should be an easy job. What's the bounty?"

Garterbelt looked back to the letter and said, "The job pays twenty Heaven Coins."

Spike sighed, "I don't see how this could be a three-person job, I'll go on my own." before getting up and heading towards the door.

Panty stopped him, "You're right, it shouldn't, but we'll at least provide backup. Just in case. Even weak demons can be dangerous in numbers."

As Spike made his way to the window, he nodded, "Got it." before smirking, "Bet I can fly there faster than your bike will get you there."

"You're on!" before the two sisters ran to the door as Spike started flying to the location.

As they pulled up, Spike had just made it there in time to win the bet. When they got there, Spike said, "So, this shouldn't take too long." before walking up to the door of the scammer demons and kicking it in.

As the demons were on their computer, they didn't notice Spike at first, but when one of them turned around, he said, "Shit! It's a demon hunter!"

There were four demons, and as they got up to start fighting, Spike held up his hand and said, "Give me a second." before taking out a flask of whiskey and drinking it down.

The demons were confused as to why the demon hunter was getting drunk when they were about to fight and let him drink until he started stumbling. As one of them charged at Spike, he yelled, "Take this!"

As the demon charged at Spike, he spun out of the way and shook the demon before tossing him aside into another demon. As they stumbled from the shock of the drunk hunter being able to fight perfectly, they tried to rush him all at once.

Spike dodged their attacks and was able to get an upper hand in the fight. When they tried one more time to rush him, he let out a burst of flames, knocking them all out with the heat of the fire.

As Spike finished the last of his whiskey, Panty and Stocking walked into the room and saw the four demons out cold, and Stocking asked, "Impressive, but how did you do this while you were drunk?"

Spike hiccupped and said, "Unorthodox methods are some of the best ways to defeat an enemy. But you also should be prepared for the enemy to do the same. Something my old man taught me during martial arts training." before stumbling a bit and saying, "Ok, I think I'm a bit too drunk."

Panty helped Spike as he stumbled and said, "Ok, let's get you back to the house, just try not to puke."

As they took Spike back to the house, the Reverend was waiting for them and said, "Well, looks like you guys did it without too much trouble." before noticing how drunk Spike looked and asked, "What the hell happened to him?"

Spike hiccupped again and said, "I got a little drunk in the fight."

"You were drinking while fighting demons? Gotta say, that's pretty impressive. For once, the writer had a good idea."

"I heard that jackass! Don't make me write you getting your dick caught in a meat grinder!"

Garterbelt grumbled, "Yeah, whatever, like you could write that."

Spike chuckled, "I wouldn't push your luck reverend. He's written some weird stuff before. Look up that Breeding Bull story. That's just messed up." before stumbling to the couch and passing out."

As Spike mentioned a different story, I said, "He's right about that. Breeding Bull is one of my worst stories, and for good reason, it's fucked up in so many ways."

Panty looked up and asked, "I don't want to know, but you don't have anything like that planned for this story, do you?"

"Not as of yet, but if you guys keep it up, I might come up with something. But for now, I've got nothing planned for you guys. Garterbelt on the other hand, I can always find a reason to make his life miserable."

The reverend had already left the scene by the time we noticed, and Stocking chuckled, "Looks like he got the message loud and clear. Good, gives us less shit to deal with."

Panty sat down on the sofa near Spike and asked me, "Anything else? Spike's passed out, and I may want his dick, but I'm not doing it like this."

"No, nothing else, I'll wrap this chapter up here." before saying to the readers, "Sorry about this chapter being a bit shorter than usual, I didn't have a lot of muse for this one. And nope, no sex yet. Hopefully that'll change in the next chapter or so. Any ideas you guys have, feel free to suggest them. I love a bit of fan work."

And that's it for this chapter. Next time, perhaps we'll see Spike getting in bed with Panty or Stocking. And there's always going to be a reason to make Reverend Garterbelt's life miserable, he's a sick pervert who makes the church look bad. Guy can burn in hell as far as I'm concerned. But we'll see you next time!