Pinketosis

by Pillowfight

Rating: mature
Tags: Cheese Sandwich, Alternate Universe, Porn, Sex, Fetish, Comedy, Profanity, Random, Pinkie Pie, Mr. Cake, Twilight Sparkle, Mrs. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 19627

When Pinkie Pie starts a low pastry diet, she finds many a stallion eager to help her out by providing some extra "protein..."

Pinkie Pie needs to lose weight to fit into her naughtiest dress — and quick! Rainbow Dash recommends a hot new low-pastry diet from Griffonstone. It sounds like a crazy fad, but Pinkie’s willing to try anything to prepare for her big date with Cheese Sandwich. But how can a vegetarian pony possibly eat enough protein to stick to a diet invented by griffons? It’s a good thing indeed that the stallions of Ponyville are eager to pitch in and help Pinkie out...

Content warning: This is light hearted, body positive comedy clop featuring consenting adults having lots of happy sex. However, some chapters will bring up sensitive topics like body image issues, slut shaming and homophobia. If you’re not in a space where you can laugh at that kind of negativity, please skip this story and I’ll catch you next time!

Still interested? Get ready for: lots of oral and dirty talk, some intense D/s, casual public sex, straight to bi, lipstick fetish, butt stuff, parents being way too sexually open with their children (but no incest), cute romance, light infidelity, one pleasingly plump Pinkie plot, the happiest of happy endings, and the consumption of lots and lots of cum. No, even more cum than you’re thinking of. Whoa, not that much, you perv! Geeze...

Many thanks to Mancin and an anonymous friend for previewing this story and giving feedback!

Published 2023-07-13 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-07-25 21:46:34 UTC

1. Pinkie, hold the pie

On a beautiful Sunday in summer, Pinkie Pie sat at one of Ponyville’s many outdoor cafes, sipping coffee and catching up with her old friend Rainbow Dash, who’d just come back to town after a long tour with the Wonderbolts. “Catching up” actually meant listening to her friend brag, but Pinkie didn’t mind at all — Rainbow Dash was totally awesome!

“It was the best tour ever!” the blue pegasus boasted. “I swear, I dunno how the Wonderbolts ever got along without me.” She looked around her busy home town. “I’m glad Ponyville hasn’t burned down... again.”

“It was pretty close a couple of times!” Pinkie chimed in.

Dash leaned back in her chair. “I never thought I’d say this, but enough about me! How are things with you and Cheese Sandwich?”

“OK, I guess.” Pinkie poured sugar into her coffee. “He’s spending a month in Yakyakistan, teaching the yaks about practical jokes.” Pinkie looked at the ground sadly as her cup overflowed with sugar. “He won’t be back for another week! I really really miss him, Rainbow Dash.”

“Awww, I know.” The speedster nodded sympathetically. “It sucks when life takes you away from your special somepony. But at least the yaks are learning more about laughter, and it’s just one more week!”

Pinkie tossed the contents of her coffee cup into her mouth. “I need your help,” she croaked. “I baked a dozen croissants, and then I realized I didn’t have anypony to share them with!”

“Say no more!” Rainbow Dash put a comforting hoof on Pinkie’s wither. “I’ll totally help you deliver those croissants to our friends! It’ll be done in a flash!”

“Erm...” Pinkie shrank in her seat.

“That’s what you meant, right, by needing my help?”

“I ate them!” Pinkie confessed. “I was so lonely I ate all the croissants by myself! And the cookies I stress baked, and the pies I stress baked because I ate the cookies, and the big cake I made that said ‘Welcome Back Cheese!’ It all ended up here!” Pinkie swung her hips around and shoved her balloon spangled plot into her friend’s face.

“Whoa!” A pink blush spread sympathetically across Rainbow Dash’s cheeks as she barely dodged her friend’s pink ass. “Not that I’m complaining, but come on, Pinkie, I’m happily married!”

“I’m fat, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie sobbed. “I let myself go while Cheese was away, and now I’m nothing but a big pink blob!”

“Hold on, Pinkie.” Rainbow Dash opened up her saddlebag. “Applejack made me some flash cards so I could get through awkward conversations without triggering a friendship problem.” The blue pegasus flipped through a large stack of cards. “Let’s see... Fluttershy’s body odour, Starlight’s evil past, Twilight’s Twilighting... ah! Pinkie’s weight!”

“Ooh, I get a card?” Pinkie leaned over, trying to read what Applejack had written about her.

“Actually, a lot of these are yours. Let’s stick to this one for now.” Rainbow Dash read off the card her wife had prepared for her. “Pinkie, remember that weight is just a number! You can be healthy at any size!”

“Healthy, shmealthy! I’m healthy as a horse, which I am, but I can’t fit into my little black dress anymore! I tried it on to practice my cum-hither look, and it wouldn’t go up my thighs! And my hips? Forget it! That cake was the last straw! Oh, and all that straw I ate didn’t help.”

“Somehow I don’t think Cheese Sandwich will mind,” Rainbow Dash assured Pinkie. The pegasus thought back to last Nightmare Night, when she’d bonded with Cheese over a night of hilarious pranks, and the very risqué confession he’d shared with her as they walked together towards his voluptuous marefriend’s midnight dance party. “Yeah, he’ll probably just see more of you to love!”

“But this is my fuck-me dress!” Pinkie screamed. “How will Cheese know I want him to fuck me if I can’t fit into the dress?”

Rainbow Dash looked around with embarrassment at the staring townsfolk. “How do you want me to help?” she quietly asked her friend. “The only thing I know about dresses is that they suck!”

“You’re such a skinny little twig! You don’t even have anything for Applejack to grab on to! How do you do it?”

“Hey, Applejack says I’ve got plenty!” Rainbow Dash snorted and put away her flash cards. “Could you ask Rarity to let the dress out a little? Or a lot?”

“Listen to yourself, Dashie! You want me to ask Rarity to change one of her designs?”

“Hrm, yeah, that’s a no. What’s your exercise routine look like? Maybe we could change that up. Being your personal trainer could be pretty awesome!”

“Ooh, yeah, you’d be proud, I exercise a lot! Every morning I do bondage stretches, and dildo squats, and the tushie plug!

“That’s a good start,” Rainbow Dash admitted, “but do you do any exercises that aren’t just masturbation?”

Pinkie pursed her lips. “I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.”

“Maybe we should consult a professional. I’ll go with you to talk to Dr. Stable. I’m sure he’ll recommend some moderate changes to your lifestyle that’ll set you on a good path.”

“Do I look like I need a moderate change to my lifestyle?” Pinkie waved her hooves around desperately. “I need a huge change to my tummy and hips, by Saturday! Hey, do you think Cheese would notice if I switched bodies with Maud and painted myself pink?”

Reluctantly, Rainbow Dash set her coffee cup down. “Pinkie, I didn’t want to go there, but a body swap sounds like a full blown 22 minute friendship problem in the making, so I do have one other idea.”

“Yyyeeesss?”

“Gilda told me about something called the Griffonstone Diet, where you stop eating sugar and grains. She says it’s great for weight loss.”

Tears flowed from Pinkie’s eyes as the mental parade of dancing pies that filled her daydreams began to fade away. “Not interested!” she sobbed. “Come back, pie friends! She’s not serious! She just hates pie!”

“Wait, I haven’t gotten to the good part!” Dash hastened to add. “You can have as much protein as you want, and lots of fat! You like fat, right?”

“I sure do! But... protein and fat? Doesn’t that mean meat?” Pinkie’s cunny winked violently as the forbidden word brought up memories of Cheese Sandwich’s mighty dick pounding permanent Pinkie-shaped dents into her mattress. “Dash, do you really think I should try eating meat?”

Rainbow Dash quickly checked the tags on this story to make sure that it said Porn and not Gore. “It doesn’t have to be meat!” she reassured her friend. “That’s just how a griffon would do the diet.”

“What’s a Pinkie Pie supposed to do?” Pinkie felt so very hopeless! Pie or cock... oh, why should a mare have to choose?

“Maybe you could cook a nice stew of beans and greens and heavy cream?”

Pinkie retched and pressed a hoof against her mouth to keep her breakfast (two cupcakes and a banana split) from making an encore appearance. “Jeepers, Dash! Are you trying to give me the fruity-toots?”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Hey, you shot down all my sensible Applejack ideas, so all I have left is reckless Rainbow Dash ideas.”

“Dang, there’s got to be some other way! What if I cut down to seven cupcakes a day?”

“Erm... how many cupcakes do you eat now?”

Pinkie looked around suspiciously. “How many do you eat?”

“I usually split one with AJ after supper.”

“Awww! That’s so wholesome, yet sad and bizarre behaviour!”

Dash sneaked another peak at her flash cards. “Pinkie, my official advice is to ask Cheese Sandwich to accept your body as it is.” She leaned forward and whispered: “But my awesome advice is to go full Griffonstone, lose ten pounds in a week, shove your plot into that dress and get you some!”

“Alright, I’ll do it!” Pinkie hugged her friend. “Griffonstone, here I come! Thanks, Rainbow Dash! You’re the best!”

Rainbow Dash posed and preened her wings. “Yeah, I am, aren’t I?”

2. Carrot, hold the cake

Author's Note

In this chapter: Intense D/s, hot filthy married sex, Pinkie learns what a “switch” is.

2. Carrot, hold the cake

“Baking these treats is such a cinch...” Pinkie sang sadly to herself the next evening as she mashed her beans into the shape of a cupcake. “Just a teaspoon of vanilla...” She decorated the top of the blob with a bit of broccoli, then closed her eyes and forced a spoonful down her throat.

Ever since she moved to Ponyville, Sugarcube Corner had been the happiest place for Pinkie Pie to work, but today had been the severest torture! All day long she’d been surrounded by untouchable deliciousness! Cheese Sandwich must have felt like this on that first awkward visit to the family rock farm: sitting right next to so much 100% certified willing Pinkie Pie flesh, yet forced into best behaviour under the stern gazes of Mama Quartz and Papa Igneous, meekly agreeing with Pinkie’s parents that hoof holding ought to wait until marriage.

But unlike that brief period of abstinence, no end was in sight today for our deprived and depraved Pinkie! She couldn’t “snack” from Sugarcube Corner’s sample tray, couldn’t “taste” what she was baking, and of course she couldn’t “clean up” the unsold pastries when the Cakes closed up shop. And now this so-called dinner to end the day! The happy parade of pies in her mind had already packed up its suitcases and left for yummier pastures, and Pinkie’s puffy mane had started to dangerously sag.

“Pinkie, you don’t have to eat if you’re not hungry.” Pinkie just sniffled. Mrs. Cake was trying to be nice, but she just didn’t understand! Pinkie was starving, but not for beans and broccoli! She wanted to dive into a lake of fudge and float all around on a donut while Zap Apple jam rained into her mouth!

Sure, vegetables had their place. Even Pinkie had to admit that you couldn’t have a dinner party centrepiece without fancy carved radishes. Spicy peppers were great for pranks, lettuce and tomato made a sandwich perfect, yeast was super important in baking... yeast was a vegetable, right? But it all had to be balanced! A meal that was nothing but vegetables was incomplete, like a hayburger without cheesy fries and a milkshake!

The Cakes didn’t see that anything was wrong, they sat flirting with each other and enjoying their meal. Pound and Pumpkin were always little terrors at dinner time, but tonight they sat happily in their chairs and eagerly hoovered up broccoli like it was a treat they only got once a week. Pinkie Pie was left all alone with her Pinkie Pain.

“What an excellent dinner, honey bun!” Mr. Cake rubbed his slender stomach in satisfaction.

“Aww, shmoopy do, you’re the one who found that wonderful broccoli in the market.” His curvy wife raised an eyebrow. “And you’re the one who’s going to wash the dishes!”

Mr. Cake blushed. “Oh, that’s right, it’s my turn to, erm, ‘wash the dishes’ tonight.” He chuckled nervously. “Golly, I can’t wait!” His hoof tenderly covered his wife’s as the two ponies looked deep into each others eyes.

Pinkie hungrily devoured the sight. Watching the Cakes be lovey dovey was the only thing keeping her sane! The happy couple had been married for years, yet they still couldn’t keep their hooves off each other. They made sweet woohoo at least twice a day, sometimes even in the kitchen when they thought Pinkie wasn’t around. Even the birth of the twins hadn’t slowed them down much.

In her dreams of the future, Pinkie hoped that she and Cheese Sandwich could keep that sexual heat throughout their lives, but it would never happen if Cheese stepped off the train from Yakyakistan and saw Pinkie hiding her curves underneath a clingy sundress... or even worse, wearing nothing at all! She had to fit into her fuck-me dress! Pinkie chewed a broccoli stem, trying to focus her thoughts on the life of pleasure she deserved.

We’ll be just like the Cakes! she thought. We’ll have a gazillion foals and Cheese will still want to pound me all day long! I won’t even let him sheathe! Whenever he tries to pull out, I’ll just give one naughty lil’ wink and he’ll get stiff again inside me!

“Maybe you should go to bed early, Pinkie,” Mr. Cake suggested. “Starting a diet can be tough.” Yeah right! He thought Pinkie couldn’t see Mrs. Cake running her hoof up his thigh! Gosh, the Cakes’ bed was about to see some smokin’ hot action tonight!

“That’s a good idea,” Pinkie admitted. But it wasn’t! That night, Pinkie’s bed saw no smokin’ hot action at all! Hours after turning in, the unfortunate mare writhed around in the silence of late-nite Sugarcube Corner, unable to sleep, a hunger growing deep within her.

“Aww, this sucks!” she complained to Gummy. “No wonder griffons are so cranky all the time! Even clopping off doesn’t help!” Gummy silently blinked and Pinkie reluctantly reached down to her crotch for the third time that night. “Actually it does help, but not with the hungry bit,” she admitted.

Suddenly a vision of Rainbow Dash’s head floated through Pinkie’s mind, repeating what she’d said on Sunday morning but with an added echo effect: “Protein... as much as you want... protein... come on, Pinkie, do I have to spell it out for you!?”

Hearing that hint gave Pinkie an idea, and she began to drool profusely. “Yes, Rainbow Dash,” she moaned, working her clit with the frog of her hoof. “I know how to get lots of protein...”

“Awesome, I knew you’d get it!” Rainbow Dash’s head called out as it floated by. “While I’m here, have you seen my Daring Do figurines? AJ says she just moved them to dust, but she didn’t put them back! It’s not a big deal, but ugh, I hate that she thinks she can move my stuff when I’m off on tour! Anyways, see ya!” Dashie’s head floated out of sight.

“Wow, that was weird!” Pinkie mused. “Better get at it, though. Pinkie needs protein!” The hungry mare hopped out of bed and crept down the hallway to the master bedroom, where the satiated Cakes were fast asleep after an evening of passionate lovemaking. But Pinkie was sure Mr. Cake had more to give. He must have enough “protein” left in his balls to fill her to the brim! That’s what Rainbow Dash meant, right? Yes, most definitely!

As she opened the door, Pinkie Pie’s nostrils caught the distinctive scent of male sweat and musk. A stallion shaped lump in the bed shifted as Mr. Cake grunted and rolled over, facing away from his beloved wife. Mrs. Cake was lying on her back, lightly snoring and wearing a sleep mask, a satisfied smile spread across her muzzle. Pinkie recognized that smile from the mirror after (or during) a date with Cheese — Mrs. Cake had cum her brains out tonight! She wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon!

Pinkie sneaked up close to her boss and got a good look at the sleeping stallion. In the hot summer night, his body was hidden under nothing more than a thin sheet. No dad bod here — Mr. Cake was so slender and handsome that he almost looked like Cheese Sandwich, the ultimate stud! In fact, fooling around with Mr. Cake now was a great way for Pinkie to learn what sex with Cheese would be like when they were old and married. It was... practice, for later! Yeah! Pinkie grasped the sheet in her teeth and slowly tugged it up, revealing Mr. Cake’s large, sweaty cock sheath and a set of truly enormous testicles that shifted and churned even as the hungry mare watched, entranced.

Pinkie would be lying if she said she’d never noticed the impressive size of her boss’ “cake mixer.” When she’d started work at Sugarcube Corner, as a naive teenager straight from the rock farm, her first thought had been “Wow, Mrs. Cake must be one happy mare!” Then she’d heard the moaning, spring-bouncing proof all the way through her bedroom wall that night... and again in the morning. She’d invested in a good set of earplugs on her very first pay-day!

Pinkie gently breathed on Mr. Cake’s sheath and giggled as the head began to slip out. Dicks were so much fun, but they looked so silly! They hid in their sheathes like shy turtles, unless there was a mare nearby who needed pounding — then they came out and said hello, you bet!

“Oh, hey, cutie,” Pinkie whispered to Mr. Cake’s dick. The smell and the heat was intense! She gently kissed the flare and lapped at the weeping hole in the middle. Pinkie’s taste buds celebrated as they tasted a little hot blob of precum that Mr. Cake had cooked up as a special treat for her.

As the long shaft slid smoothly out of its sheath, Pinkie drew her tongue all over and strangely found the stiffening flesh to be dry. Just a couple hours earlier, Mrs. Cake had gone through her usual screams of passion, so how come Mr. Cake’s dick tasted like it hadn’t been used? It was almost like he’d cleaned up and gotten himself ready again, just for her! That yummy erection blossomed quickly, and Pinkie happily suckled the globs of precum that leaked from the substantial flare. She kissed down the shaft, tickling her tongue around the medial ring just like Cheese liked it, and planted a hefty kiss on each of Mr. Cake’s boiling nuts, thanking them for their creamy contribution to her diet.

Pinkie totally knew what she was doing! She’d eaten Cheese’s cum before, lots of times! She’d even mixed his goo into the batter for a special pick-me-up scone recipe, one that only her bestest of best friends was allowed to try. But she didn’t have much practice at giving blowjobs, because her silly coltfriend wouldn’t sit still for one! After just a few sexy mouth hugs, Cheese couldn’t help but roll Pinkie onto her back, plunge deep into her pussy and hump away til they came together like two voices singing the same love song. If Cheese’s kisses while he fucked her weren’t so tender, Pinkie might think he wasn’t interested in her mouth at all!

Pinkie kept up her teasing because she knew the the fun would soon come to a creamy end once she started sucking on Mr. Cake’s meaty straw. But she was hungry, her pussy was winking, and sooner or later she needed to pull the cum out of those big, heavy balls! It’s just like blowing Cheese, she thought to herself. It’s not cheating if I pretend this is Cheese! She opened her mouth as wide as it would go, slipped her lips over that huge, fat, mare pleasing flare, and really started to suck!

“Oh, Cup...” Mr. Cake moaned loudly in his sleep. “Honey bun, you have that big catering job tomorrow... no, keep going...”

“Sssh, sssh, sssh!” Pinkie waved her hooves, trying to quiet Mr. Cake, but she couldn’t get his cock out of her mouth. It was the most substantial thing she’d had in her mouth all day!

“Eh?” Mrs. Cake mumbled. She pulled off her sleep mask and gasped as she got an eyeful of Pinkie Pie with a mouthful of her husband’s throbbing flare. Uh oh! Busted!

“What in Tartarus is this, slave?” Mrs. Cake barked at her husband. The look on her face was stern and cruel, nothing like the sweetness she’d shown to him at dinner. Mr. Cake squirmed on the bed. “M-Mistress, it’s not what it looks like!”

“It looks like you’re getting blown by the tramp who lives under our roof! And after I generously allowed you to lick me tonight!”

“Whoa, Mrs. Cake! Don’t get mad at him!” Pinkie begged the other mare. She reached out with a hoof and pushed Mr. Cake’s dick away, as if turning down seconds of a delicious, cream filled eclair. “It was all my idea!”

“I bet you’ve fantasized about this for years, you pathetic worm.” Mrs. Cake growled at her husband, paying Pinkie’s protest little notice. “At least you waited til she was legal!”

“N-no, Mistress, I’d never be unfaithful, I swear!”

“I should count myself lucky you haven’t gotten her pregnant! Her and that Sugar Belle bitch. I had to marry her off just to stop her from lifting her tail for you!” Mrs. Cake slapped her husband’s nut sack and he cried out with pain. “I should cage this disgusting thing before it ruins our family!”

“Whatever you think best, Mistress,” Mr. Cake whimpered. “If my cock doesn’t please you, it serves no purpose at all!”

“I know just what to do.” Mrs. Cake sneered and turned towards Pinkie. “Keep going, Pinkie. Let’s see just how good you are at stealing stallions away from their wives!”

Pinkie’s lip quivered. “I’m really really sorry, Mrs. Cake!” she protested. “I just wanted to eat his cum! I didn’t think it was cheating! Rainbow Dash’s floating head strongly implied you’d be cool with it!”

“Floating head? Ugh, whatever.” Uh oh, Mrs. Cake didn’t believe a word! “I was young once. Do you think I never seduced a married stallion just because I could?” Mrs. Cake squeezed Pinkie’s cheeks firmly in her hooves. “They can’t resist a lady in the first flush of marehood. So naive, so fertile. One shake of those breeding hips, and the wedding vows go out the window.”

“Mrs. Cake, you gotta believe me!” Pinkie sobbed. “I’ve never seduced anypony except for Cheese! Oh, and there was this guy who came to Ponyville and he was super cute but he took all my party planning business, and at first I was like, grr!, but then — wait, that was Cheese, too! Anyways, my point is—aaack!”

Mrs. Cake interrupted Pinkie by slapping her in the face with her husband’s fat, saliva-covered dong. The imprint of heat running up Pinkie’s cheek silenced her chatter instantly, making her shudder and wink.

“Suck it, Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake insisted. She slapped Pinkie once more with the heavy club of meat, ignoring the younger mare’s horny pants and ever weakening protests. “Or have you forgotten how to pleasure a cheating husband? Here, let me help you!”

Mrs. Cake put her hoof on the back of Pinkie’s head and gently, yet forcefully pushed her mouth open around Mr. Cake’s throbbing flare. Pinkie gagged on the stiff staff of stallionhood as her muzzle was pressed further and further down its length. Mr. Cake was much longer and thicker than Cheese, and Mrs. Cake was relentless in shoving Pinkie’s throat down onto the cock she’d once considered her personal dildo.

“Hrm, how does that feel, slave?” Mrs. Cake’s voice sounded like she was cooing lovingly to her husband, but Pinkie had fought Queen Chrysalis and she knew that such sweetness always held a trap. “Is the tender mouth of the Element of Laughter to your liking?”

“She’s exquisite, Mistress, thank you!”

“Good. You’ll have plenty of time to fill her slut holes once I divorce you.”

Mr. Cake’s entire body went rigid, including his cock, which just seemed to be throbbing harder with every awful thing his wife said. Weird! “Please, Cup, no!” he cried out.

Mrs. Cake slapped her husband again, harder than before. “Who’s ‘Cup,’ slave? Another one of your side pieces?”

“Mistress, I beg you, don’t leave me! Pinkie’s just being Pinkie! Please, think of our foals!”

“Ah, yes, our foals.” Mrs. Cake held up her husband’s weeping head with a hoof and stared hatefully into his eyes. “I’ll make you a deal, slave — just hold out for five minutes. Five minutes of oral sex from a beautiful young mare, and after all of this is over, I’ll let you see Pound and Pumpkin on the weekends.”

“Mistress... Mistress, please!” Mr. Cake sobbed desperately. “Please, please, you can have the restaurant, but don’t take the foals!”

“Now, Pinkie, help yourself.” Mrs. Cake addressed her employee with that same false, syrupy kindness. “Enjoy my husband’s dick, while he’s still my husband.”

Gosh, this was so confusing! The Cakes loved each other more than anything, why was Mrs. Cake talking about divorce just because Pinkie used Mr. Cake for a midnight snack? Why did her guiding hooves feel so good on the back of Pinkie’s head? And why did every cruel thing she said make Pinkie’s pussy drip and twitch?

Wait a minute... had Pinkie stumbled upon a weird sex thing??!

Pinkie loved sex, loved it enough to give up pastries for a week! But she’d thought she had it all figured out: the stallion put his dick in the mare, gave her one juicy orgasm after another, and if the couple was ready (and they’d used the right hole) then a foal was created! She’d never known boinking had so many darn mysteries!

It came to Pinkie in a flash: her friends knew! They all knew about weird sex things, and they hadn’t told her! Rarity, with her condescending giggling whenever Pinkie spilled the tea about her latest romp with Cheese! All those strange bodies Discord took on for Fluttershy.... and what did Applejack and Rainbow Dash actually do in bed, anyways? A memory from a sleepover floated into Pinkie’s mind. Just as she knocked on the door, she’d overheard Twilight Sparkle telling her friends:

“I know that Pinkie has a coltfriend now, but she’s still so sweet and innocent. She’s happy with her vanilla sex life, so let’s not say or do anything to embarrass her.”

Pinkie scowled at the memory, even as Mr. Cake’s dick disappeared smoothly down her throat. Sweet? Indubitably! Vanilla? A crucial cupcake ingredient! Innocent? No freaking way! Pinkie was awesome at sex, and if the Cakes were into kinky games, she was happy to play along! She’d make Mr. Cake pop in a flash, and hopefully this really was just a game, and she wasn’t actually about to break up the happiest couple she knew!

With one final and determined lunge, Pinkie seated Mr. Cake’s dick all the way at the base of her throat. Woo-hoo, she’d done it! Chin between the balls, flare in her stomach! Cheese would definitely sit still for a blowjob if she did this to him! Mr. Cake’s thighs clenched as his pleasure departed down the path of no return. “Cup... Mistress... I’m about to cum!”

“Good, good, slave.” Mrs. Cake’s voice flowed with evil. She tenderly stroked her husband’s cock through the bobbing bulge in Pinkie’s convulsing throat. “Cum down another mare’s throat and destroy your marriage. You couldn’t even last five lousy minutes — now you’ll never see your foals again.”

“No... please, Mistress!” The veins in Mr. Cake’s taut neck pulsed. His eyes were shut tightly to hide himself from the sight of Pinkie’s eager slurping. “I’ll do anything! Punish me, cage me forever, but not that!”

Beneath Mr. Cake’s sobbing, Pinkie heard the strange interruption of a sound from the outside world: the comforting chimes of Ponyville’s town clock striking twelve. “Oops, it’s midnight!” Mrs. Cake said with an evil grin. She pulled Pinkie’s throat off her husband’s dong with a loud pop.

“Aww...” Mr. Cake seemed disappointed at this reprieve. Pre gushed from his flare, brought forth by Pinkie’s suction, and spilled all over the young mare’s lips.

Pinkie caught a deep breath. “Huh? What happens at midnight?”

“We switch!” Mrs. Cake cuddled up to her husband and gently kissed his neck. “Oh, Daddy Cake, you’re so hard... so strong and virile... thank you for letting me share you!”

“Shut up, cunt.” Mr. Cake slapped his wife across the face. “Mr. Cake, that’s not very nice!” Pinkie burst out.

“It’s all right, Pinkie.” Mrs. Cake rubbed her lip with one hoof and pressed the other against her clit. “I know my place. I’m nothing but daddy’s pleasure toy, to be used and abused as he sees fit.”

“But you were just—” Pinkie suddenly facehoofed. “Duh, I get it! Switching is part of the fun! Like when Shining Armour wears Cadance’s lingerie!”

Mr. Cake stared at Pinkie with utter disbelief. “He does what?”

“Unf...” Mrs. Cake just bit her lip.

Pinkie flung a hoof around each of the Cakes. “Never fear, Kinky Pinkie’s here to make this horny party a hit! Let’s double team your husband, Mrs. Cake!”

“Not so fast,” Mr. Cake snarled, pulling out of Pinkie’s hug. “You sluts need to wear the slut lipstick if you want to get any action tonight.”

“Yes, daddy, of course, thank you!” Mrs. Cake whined. She rushed to her vanity and quickly grabbed a metal tube of lipstick. “Pinkie, help me put this on, please,” she begged the younger mare. “Turn me into a good slut for daddy!”

Pinkie gasped with horror. She remembered a time on the rock farm when Marble had brought home a tube of lipstick from the general store. Mama Quartz had violently knocked the lipstick out of Marble’s hoof, then lectured her daughters about the evils of modern Equestria. “Lipstick is for harlots!” she’d told them.

Of course, Pinkie didn’t believe that anymore! Rarity wore lipstick every day, and she wasn’t a... oops, not a good example. But now Pinkie saw what Mama Quartz was worried about: magic lipstick that could turn even wholesome wives like Mrs. Cake into degraded, dick hungry sluts!

“Are you sure, Mrs. Cake?” Powerful artifacts like this were nothing to mess with! Pinkie couldn’t think of a friendship problem that had been caused by magic lipstick going out of control, but such a disaster could totally happen!

“Hurry, Pinkie!” The lipstick shook in Mrs. Cake’s trembling hooves. “All I can think about is becoming worthy to receive that divine stallionhood!”

“Hey, now, it’s a nice dick and all, but have some self respect, geeze!”

Mrs. Cake couldn’t wait any longer. Taking no time to look in the mirror she ran the lipstick messily across her own mouth, covering her lips with the bright red cosmetic. The crow’s feet around Mrs. Cake’s eyes softened as the pressures of a stressful day were smoothed away beneath the personality of a horny, submissive bimbo wife.

Mrs. Cake giggled and reached the lipstick out towards Pinkie. “And now, a little for you...” Before Pinkie could react, she was firmly pressing the magic lipstick against the younger mare’s upper lip, marking her with what Mama Quartz had called “the sigil of whorsedom.”

Pinkie felt a surge of lust inside her as the magical lipstick overpowered her will. She couldn’t be responsible for wanting to deep throat Mr. Cake again... right? The sigil of whorsedom had a primal need to be smeared all the way down that huge daddy shaft until it formed a thick ring of red at the base. Pinkie was still the nice rock farm girl who fantasized about kissing on a picnic blanket while the fireflies glowed — it was the lipstick that was giving her these slutty slut thoughts!

Oh, but there was something so arousing about letting another pony take control! As Mrs. Cake’s hoof drew the slippery, red lipstick back across her lower lip, slut-Pinkie found herself wetter and winkier than she’d been in weeks. All of a sudden she saw she didn’t want her relationship to be just like the Cakes. She didn’t want to switch every day, she wanted Cheese to be dominant all the time! (In bed, that is! Not when they were planning parties together! Then Pinkie was the boss!)

If Cheese wanted Pinkie to slap him and yell at him, of course she’d give it a try, but in her heart, she wanted only to submit to the handsome guy who’d stolen her heart with a smile and a hoof buzzer. Really, the Cakes were just teaching Pinkie how to be a better marefriend! After all, submission didn’t come naturally to a strong, heroic mare like her!

Mrs. Cake put her hooves around Pinkie and turned the younger mare around to face their masculine dom. “Here we are, two lipsticked sluts, ready to serve you.”

“Acceptable.” Mr. Cake lay back in the bed he shared with his wife and gestured to his huge, throbbing cock. “Now suck.”

“Thank you, thank you, daddy!”

“Not you,” Mr. Cake told his wife. “Her.”

“Oh, goody!” Pinkie eagerly started slithering her tongue over Mr. Cake’s cock, licking up the precum that had gushed nonstop from his tip since he’d last left her mouth. It was like coming back to an ice cream cone you’d had to set down for a few minutes because of an urgent save-Equestria emergency! All drippy and yummy!

“Please, daddy, don’t deny me!” Mrs. Cake weeped melodramatically. “I live to worship your powerful stallionhood!” Pinkie rolled her eyes. This was waaay too cheesy for her, and she literally fucked a guy named Cheese!

“Kiss my balls, you whorse,” Mr. Cake told his wife. “Pinkie’s my main bitch now. She sucks me better than you ever could.”

“I do?” Pinkie burst out. “Wow!”

“Not really, you need a lot of practice,” Mr. Cake whispered. “Just play along.”

“Okey-dokey-lokey!” Pinkie wrapped her lips around that big stud shaft and started bobbing her head, her poofy mane bouncing about as she worked the flare past the bend of her throat. Golly, sucking dick was the best! Especially when your dom was so worked up and distracted that he forgot to order you not to reach back with the frog of your hoof and clop yourself! Pinkie did just that and diddled her clit like crazy, hoping to race Mr. Cake to orgasm.

It was a close race, but Pinkie won in a photo finish! As Mr. Cake’s precum flowed faster and saltier, Pinkie felt the pleasure well up inside her like an inflated party balloon, until she burst like a pinata full of candy. Her furiously rubbing hoof flung her marecum all over the sheets and just as her pleasure peaked she managed to get that cock all the way down her throat once again, fitting her muzzle to the base of Mr. Cake’s crotch, and pressing her lipsticked lips right up against Mrs. Cake’s warm and tender pair on his balls.

But Mr. Cake wasn’t far behind. One studly stallion dick couldn’t resist the temptations of two sexy mare mouths! His nut was so powerful he actually forgot himself and cried out “Oh, Cup!” as he grabbed the sheets and bucked his hips right up against Pinkie’s cute button nose.

Pinkie’s eyes went wide as a fire hose of gooey sperm was turned on, pointed right down her throat. Wow, this explained all those times she caught Mrs. Cake sneaking out of the stock room with a bloated looking tummy! The eager, hungry mare quickly burped the fleshy male tube out of her gullet, so she could properly suck on the flare and taste the cum as it spurted into her stomach in oceanic waves.

Pinkie felt a deep feeling of fulfillment as she gulped the massive load... not just because she was doing her duty as a submissive, but because here was finally some decent food! After the surges of semen finally died down, Mr. Cake groaned, opened his eyes, then gently patted Pinkie and his wife on the head.

“Thank you, daddy~” Mrs. Cake panted, looking worshipfully up at her husband, her lipstick smeared and ruined by the sweaty flesh of his pampered nut sack. Her hoof was frantically moving between her hind legs as she worked towards her own orgasm. “Thank you for allowing us to serve you!”

“You worship those foal makers until I cum again,” Mr. Cake told her dismissively, “and maybe I’ll reward you in the morning.”

“Yfff, daddy!” the mature mare squealed enthusiastically. Those fat, heavy stallion balls were plumping out her cheeks again before he’d finished giving the order. “Ahh, this is the life...” Mr. Cake put his hooves behind his head and quickly fell asleep with a smile.

This was the life! Pinkie curled up with the Cakes on their large bed and drifted off to the world of dreams with her boss’ thickening cock in her mouth. The rhythmic sounds of her fellow lipstick slut’s ballsucking were a tender lullaby to Pinkie’s tired ears. By the time Mr. Cake’s second load gushed down her throat, the party pony was fast asleep, instinctively gulping down the warm torrent with a satisfied smile...

Maybe the Griffonstone Diet wasn’t so bad after all!

3. Sausage, hold the roll

Author's Note

In this chapter, Pinkie finds her true calling. You can expect more blowjobs, more lipstick, more humiliation, and *checks notes*... findom? I guess?

3. Sausage, hold the roll

When it came to the Griffonstone Diet, Pinkie was really getting into the swing of things... but swinging with the Cakes wasn’t enough! Mr. Cake was quite a stud, but even his impressive pair of hangers couldn’t hope to make enough goo to fill Pinkie’s rumbly tummy for more than an hour or two.

But a solution was in sight, just downstairs from the marriage bed Pinkie had just woken everypony up by bouncing on! Every day at Sugarcube Corner, handsome males from all over Equestria smiled and flirted with Pinkie as she took their coffee and pastry orders. She always flirted back, and sometimes even flashed a little flank for an especially cute guy, but her strict upbringing and her head over hooves love for Cheese Sandwich made sure she never went further.

If today she offered her loyal customers a little something extra — say, a quick visit to the heavenly back of Pinkie’s throat — she was sure all those sweet guys would do the right thing and fuck her muzzle til her insides were frosted with gobs of salty buttercream!

Pinkie couldn’t see a single flaw in her plan. Hadn’t she found the perfect source of protein for her diet? Didn’t Cheese deserve the most talented “welcome back!” blowjob when he came back from Yakyakistan? Hadn’t Mr. Cake, her boss, told her that she needed a lot of practice? And hadn’t Mrs. Cake left the magical slut lipstick lying on her vanity where Pinkie could “borrow” it on her way out?

Even so, Pinkie’s hooves shook as she looked into the bathroom mirror and slid the lipstick over her mouth. Mrs. Cake used its bimbo-making powers almost every night, so it couldn’t be that dangerous... right? The bright red cosmetic seemed to melt onto her lips, corrupting her mind as it did. Even as she puckered her lips in a kiss for the perfect application, the thoughts and personalities of the wonderful stallions in Pinkie’s life became less important, and her attention focused on what really mattered: those fat musky sheaths and heavy ball sacks!

A mare was supposed to politely ignore a guy’s undercarriage, even if it started twitcha-twitching when he talked to you, which happened to Pinkie a lot for some reason. But Polite Pinkie was outa here, and Cum-Hungry Pinkie was covering her shift! Customer service was very important at Sugarcube Corner, and today the customers were going to get serviced!

Pinkie hid the lipstick in her saddlebag, carefully washed her hooves, and trotted downstairs to start her day of work. Already, Sugarcube Corner was filled with the most pleasurable mixture of scents: hot coffee, Sugar Belle’s delicious pastries, and the stank of fresh cock musk. A yummy buffet of males formed a queue waiting to place their breakfast orders, little did they know they were about to become breakfast! And as if fate itself was smiling on her plan, Pinkie’s first customer of the day was the handsome, dapper Doctor Whooves!

Mature hunks like the Doctor were Pinkie’s guiltiest pleasure. (Well, that and tequila flavoured cheesecake!) He wasn’t quite as tall as Mr. Cake, but his withers and barrel were strong and masculine, perfect for hugs... and so much more! More than once Pinkie had rubbed herself thinking of Doc’s Trottingham accent and the exotic sex toy he carried around, which he said could help him solve problems beyond time and space. Yeah, right, Pinkie could tell it was just a cool vibrator!

“Heya, Doc!” Pinkie sproinged cheerfully behind the pastry case and wobbled on her hind legs. “Are ya back from that weird universe where everypony only has two legs?”

The Doctor goggled at the younger mare and did a double take. “Great whickering stallions, Pinkie! Did you change your look? I say, you’re a sight for sore eyes after a month among those ghastly ‘humans!’”

Pinkie dropped back onto all fours, sending her body jiggling all over. She smiled as she saw the teensiest twitch of the Doctor’s sheath. “Thanks! Can I suck your cock?” she blurted out.

A loud “thump” sounded through Sugarcube Corner as the mature stallion’s long brown dick suddenly unsheathed and bounced its flare against the wooden floor. Doctor Whooves groaned painfully and sweat broke out on his forehead at the perverted thought of being drained by a mare young enough to be his daughter. “A-are you serious?”

“I’m never serious, I’m Pinkie Pie! I do want to blow you, though. Real bad!”

“I really shouldn’t... I was hoping to become reacquainted with your town’s charming postmistress.” Doctor Whooves shook his head resolutely. “Thank you, Pinkie, for the very tempting offer, but I’ll just take my usual — a spot of tea and a scone.”

Uh-oh! Operation Tummy Full Of Cummy was already in jeopardy! Time to think fast and act fast! “Aww, Derpy won’t mind!” Pinkie claimed. “I really need to swallow your cum, Doc. It’s for my diet!”

Pinkie was stretching the truth a little bit, like yummy taffy! She wasn’t certain how Derpy would feel about another mare getting the first taste of her on-again off-again special somepony. But she knew the friendly pegasus wouldn’t mind a little white lie. Not if that meant a big white gush of protein into a hungry friend’s mouth!

Doctor Whooves gulped. “Oh, my, if it’s for health reasons, I hate to disappoint...”

“It’s good for your health, too!” Pinkie pointed out. “A stallion shouldn’t go a whole month without draining his balls! Erm, unless he’s Cheese Sandwich and he’s spending a month in Yakyakistan and then he’d better keep it in his sheath, no exceptions!”

Before the Doctor could come up with any more excuses, Pinkie ducked her head low and took his large flare into her mouth. Wow, he was huge, almost as big as Mr. Cake! No wonder Derpy flew funny!

“Oh, Pinkie! It’s been so long! I—I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold out!”

“It’s OK, big guy, just relax and let go.” Pinkie lovingly kissed the head of the Doctor’s cock and gently licked the slit where the good stuff came out, bobbing her head deeper and deeper down the shaft.

“Dear me! Let me at least do something for you in return.” The Doctor lifted his mysterious vibrator in a hoof, nestled it between Pinkie’s back thighs and soothed the excited ache in her coochie with the magic of science.

Awesome! Pinkie’d always wondered what sex would feel like beyond time and space, and it felt GREAT! With sucking and buzzing galore, the two earth ponies quickly brought each other to climax. Pinkie’s pussy wriggled in happiness as the vibe sent tingles deep into her clit, and the Doctor cried out with pleasure as his hips bucked and he sent a long load of hot, satisfying stallion cream into Pinkie’s tummy.

Boy, Doc was really pent up! He must not have been getting any relief from those “humans.” Spurt after yummy spurt flew into Pinkie’s tummy, silencing those overnight hunger pains. Pinkie reached out with a hoof and gave his plump balls a little squeeze, just to say she had! Derpy would be cool with this... she was almost certain!

At long last the Doctor’s now floppy dick slipped out from Pinkie’s lips and started to resheath, despite Pinkie’s attempts to chase the leaking head with her tongue. The Doc finally had to step away and protect his sensitive member with a hoof.

“Thanks for the orgasm, Doc!” Pinkie said with a loud burp. “I’m not allowed to clop off at work, but I think it’s fine if somepony else makes me cum!”

The Doctor grunted for breath and wiped his brow. “My goodness, Pinkie, that was simply top-hole!”

“Well, duh! What hole did you think it was?” Pinkie giggled. “Today only, stallions get a free blowjob with every purchase! Tell your friends! Oh, but don’t tell Derpy, OK?”

“Not a word!” Doctor Whooves promised. He picked up his tea and scone and staggered to a table.

Pokey Pierce was Pinkie’s next customer. He took a step forward, looked at the pastry case, then looked up at the smudged lipstick around Pinkie’s mouth. “Free blowjob, eh?” he asked.

“Yep!” Pinkie quickly reapplied her lipstick as she nodded, drawing wobbly lines of red all over her muzzle.

“I think I’ll just have a cup of water.”

“Hrm.” Pinkie glared suspiciously at the cheapskate before her. “Y’know, I think there ought to be a five bit minimum on this blowjob deal.”

“I’ll pay you five bits for a cup of water,” Pokey bargained.

“Yeah, that sounds fair!” Pinkie agreed. She leaned in under Pokey’s undercarriage and blew lightly on the wrinkled package of flesh. Right on schedule, that gorgeous dick started to slide out of its sheath, and Pinkie went in for the slurp!

Doctor Whooves had been a real gentlecolt, bringing his partner to orgasm even during a casual bakery blowjob. Pokey wasn’t nearly so considerate. He touched her mane, which was a big fellatio-no-no, and then he started whispering wimpy dirty talk that wasn’t dirty at all!

“Wow, Pinkie, this is so cool, I always wanted to get with you, but you’re with Cheese Sandwich...”

Really? Pinkie thought with aggravation. You could’ve said literally one thing to me in the YEARS before I hooked up with Cheese! She couldn’t remember anything about Pokey at all. He’d always been one of those Ponyville residents who was just there in the background, without so much as a fun backstory or a hot DILF body. Sure, Pokey had a super nice dong, but that dong was taking way too long to cum, especially cause twenty dongs... erm, stallions... were now waiting in line behind him!

Ugh! How come guys only came early when you wanted them to pound you for hours? Pinkie furiously worked her tongue and throat on Pokey’s tasty cock, trying to get him off, but nothing doing! He was as unerringly firm and as unlikely to squirt jizz as one of Maud’s rocks!

Mr. Cake was always saying “Time is money!” and urging Pinkie to work the counter faster. (And he’d never once said “don’t blow the customers,” so hush!) Pinkie had to do something quick, or Sugarcube Corner’s reputation for prompt service would suffer, and so would Pinkie’s tips. Time to deploy the secret weapon! Release... The Dumptruck!

Pinkie hiked her hips and wiggled her plot from side to side, swishing her tail at Pokey as she increased her suction. She’d always been embarrassed by the size of her backside, but all too aware that nothing got guys going like an extra large badonka-ponk! She’d hit her growth spurt in high school and all the jocks had suddenly started wanting to carry her books... and all the nerds... and the drama kids... Maud still hadn’t forgiven Pinkie for distracting those two cute goth guys away from her, but they sure were good kissers!

Eeyup, Pokey didn’t stand a chance! His eyes swept back and forth, hypnotized by the jiggling pink cheeks of Equestria’s mightiest tushie. He wasn’t allowed to see her leaky pussy or twitching ponut, of course. Such exotic sights were reserved for Cheese Sandwich... or for anypony who stood behind Pinkie instead of in front. Before long Pokey was huffing and grunting like a good little breakfast pastry, and when Pinkie reached up and tickled his nose with her twitchy tail he lost all control. He cried out and spurted three long, toothpaste-like squirts of cum down Pinkie’s throat before slipping out of her mouth, dropping five bits on the counter, and silently limping out past the growing line of salivating stallions.

“Hey, you forgot your water!” Pinkie yelled out. Pokey just stumbled out the door, ignoring her. “Ah, crazy customers.” Pinkie drew another layer of bright red lipstick all over her mouth. “Welp, who’s next?”

“Well, gosh, howdy, Pinkie...” Braeburn stepped up to the counter and smiled bashfully at the seemingly innocent mare who’d just blown two stallions in public.

“Howdy, Braeburn! Welcome to POOONYVILLE!” Pinkie danced a happy jig. “What can I get ya?”

“I’d like an apple tart, Pinkie, an’... m-maybe ya can suck on me while I eat it?”

“No way! That’s not sanitary!” Pinkie gently chided the handsome Appleloosan. “You can’t eat at the counter! You gotta either sit down at a table, or take it away!”

Braeburn blushed and crossed his hind legs, trying to hide the thick mottled dick slipping out of its sheath. “Hey, nice cock!” Pinkie called out in encouragement to the shy stallion. “I’m gonna have a blast tooting that big ol’ yovidaphone! Just not while you’re eating, bud! Health and safety, ya know?”

Braeburn looked down in embarrassment as his cock grew and thickened, the veins pulsing as ever more blood was delivered into his unwitting monument to Pinkie’s sexiness. “Oh, gosh, Pinkie, ya never yelled at me before — I think I kinda like it!”

“Really? Nopony’s ever said that before!” Pinkie thoughtfully put a hoof to her lipstick smeared chin. She never, ever got angry, but when she did, it meant a dark day for all of Equestria. “How come?”

Braeburn caught his breath. “Yer always so purdy an’ sweet, but just now it’s like ya squeezed a lime on top an’ made yerself all...” He shuddered with pleasure and puckered his lips.

Pinkie suddenly found the words flowing easily out of her mouth. “Well, then, Braeburn, you disgust me! You order an apple tart every time you come to Ponyville! We work hard to make all kinds of treats for our customers, but you always buy the same thing! I can’t eat any of this yummy stuff right now, and you don’t even appreciate what you have! And do you know what makes this worse? You’re an Apple! You eat apples every day! Yeah, I’m never selling you any apple anything ever again! It’s time you tried something new — a donut, or biscotti, or a strawberry tart!”

With every syllable of Pinkie’s scolding, Braeburn’s dick stiffened until he was rubbing against the glass pastry case, leaking and fully erect. Pinkie’s wide eyes were fixed on that sturdy stallion shlong. This was so cool! The sweet party pony couldn’t imagine bossing around Cheese like this, but taking her diet frustrations out on her customers was giving her prim and proper pussy just the tingliest feeling!

Braeburn sweated and stammered under the verbal assault. “Uh, gosh, strawberries? I dunno if Applejack would like me tryin’ another kind o’ fruit.”

“Who gives a flaming rat’s tushie in Tartarus what your cousin thinks?” Pinkie yelled. “Are you a stallion who takes what he wants, or are you Applejack’s little bitch? I’m ordering you to boink my face til you nut in my stomach, and then you’re going to buy a strawberry tart and SIT DOWN AT A TABLE to eat it!”

“Y-yes, ma’am! Unngh! Aww, Pinkie!” Wow, Braeburn started to cum without Pinkie even touching him! Pinkie quickly sealed her heavily lipsticked mouth over the stallion’s swollen, pulsing flare and gulped down mouthfuls of his apple tinged seed as he moaned and cried out.

Mmm, dee-lish! Just because Braeburn wasn’t allowed his usual apple treat today, didn’t mean his strict Mistress Pinkie couldn’t enjoy the fruity taste! Subby stallions like him were just made to squirt their cream filling into the cutest, ponkiest gal in Ponyville — and beg for the privilege!

As Braeburn’s spurts got smaller and weaker, Pinkie ran her tongue across his tangy cumslit one last time, then slipped her lips off of the flare and swallowed that last yummy mouthful. “Mmm! Now that’s what I call Appleloosan hospitality! Thanks, Braeburn!”

Braeburn awkwardly doffed his hat as his dick slid shamefully back into its sheath. “I’m awful sorry, Pinkie. I never cum that quick before, but you were talkin’ so gosh darn dirty!”

“You were perfect!” Pinkie assured him, licking gobs of spilled spunk off of the glass counter top. “You’ve got nothing to feel bad about! You gave me just what I needed, and your cum tastes great!” Pinkie grasped a plate in her mouth and set it down in front of the drained Appleloosan. “Here’s your strawberry tart. That’ll be five bits!”

Braeburn gulped. “Gosh, strawberries... ya weren‘t playin’! Pinkie, I really think Applejack won’t—”

“Oh, you want some more, eh?” Pinkie growled. “You premature loser! You’re an embarrassment to stallions everywhere! How many ponies have you disappointed with that thing? You sit your lame ass down at that table, and eat every single strawberry where everypony can see, and maybe I’ll let you sniff my pussy when you’re done!”

Braeburn slammed a five bit coin on the counter and took the plate with the strawberry tart. “Can I sniff yer hooves too?” he bargained.

“Nope! Too weird! Next customer!” Pinkie looked out at her ever growing queue and saw Gallus, a recent graduate of the School of Friendship, quivering before her. She scowled and quickly smeared on another application of the slut lipstick, replacing the large amount that had streaked off onto Braeburn’s stallionhood during her feeding. “Alright, Gallus,” she growled, “what kind of freaky griffon fetish proofs your breadstick?”

The sarcastic young griff quailed when met with his former teacher’s acid tongue. “I—I just want a cupcake and a blowjob!” he protested. “Is that wrong?”

“Ooh, the Pinkie Special!” Pinkie gave Gallus a friendly wink and tossed a cupcake onto a plate with a swish of her tail. “I knew you were my favourite customer! Coming right up, ya cutie patootie!”

Late that night Pinkie was contentedly masturbating in bed, full of cum and only a teensy bit starving, when she heard suspicious hoofsteps outside her bedroom. She perked up her ears, heard Mrs. Cake say “I mean it, Carrot! Time out! I’ll handle this!” and then a knock at her bedroom door.

Pinkie quivered with excitement as she galloped to the door. She’d been secretly hoping the Cakes would invite her back into their bed for another night of exciting, yet super confusing sex play! But when she opened the door, Mrs. Cake looked like she was in no mood for fun. A real sourpuss!

“Oh, hey, Mrs. Cake...” Golly, why was she so mad? Pinkie thought frantically whether she’d sucked off a customer on the “no blowjobs” list. Did Sugarcube Corner even have a “no blowjobs” list? They really gotta start one! Sombra and Tirek did not deserve mouth hugs, and colts would just have to wait for their 18th birthday parties... who else?

“Pinkie, answer me!” Mrs. Cake shouted, startling Pinkie out of her important pondering. “Did you use up all of my slut lipstick?” Mrs. Cake looked angrily at Pinkie and showed her the empty tube, covered with bright red hoofmarks, which Pinkie had carefully replaced on the older mare’s vanity after she finished work.

“Eh, maybe?” Pinkie shrugged. “Sorry!”

“That’s not good enough! I was on my hooves all day catering a big event, and I need to be fucked, but Daddy Cake won’t wreck my marepussy unless I wear the lipstick! I need an explanation!”

Pinkie trembled and took a deep breath. “I know you’re mad, Mrs. Cake, but hear me out: I needed the magical slut lipstick to magically turn me into a slut, so I could suck enough cocks to be full, so I could do the Griffonstone diet, so I can fit into my dress and get my marepussy wrecked on Saturday!”

Through this completely reasonable explanation, Mrs. Cake had the same exasperated look as when Pinkie had considerably repaired Sugarcube Corner’s roof with day old pastries. “The lipstick isn’t magic, Pinkie!” she burst out.

“Huh? It’s not? Then how come it turned me into a slut?”

“You were already a slut!”

“Mh... nah, I’m pretty sure it was the lipstick.”

“It’s ordinary lipstick! We call it slut lipstick because it’s bright red and it smears like crazy!” The mature blue earth pony shook her head and sighed with frustration. “Oh, goodness... now you and me will have to ‘convince’ Daddy Cake to pay for another stick of the good stuff.”

Pinkie scoffed. “It’s one lipstick, Mrs. Cake! What can it cost, ten bits?”

“It’s three bits for a pack of five. It’s cheap and trashy, and cheap and trashy sluts like us are only allowed to pay for it with our holes.” Mrs. Cake gently put a hoof around Pinkie. “Now, come with me. We’ll apologize to daddy for delaying his pleasure, and offer to make it up to him with another hot threeway.”

“This sounds like a really weird dynamic, so I’m going to ignore everything you said except ‘hot threeway!’” Pinkie agreed.

As the two mares trotted towards the bedroom where their dom (and also sex!) awaited them, Pinkie’s mind was a disco dance party of confusion. Could it really be true that the lipstick didn’t do anything? That Slut Pinkie and Sweet Pinkie were the same pony the whole time? Wow, what a twist!

Uh-oh! What if Cheese found out that his marefriend was a secret slut? She had to be honest with him, but how would their relationship survive? Cheese deserved a happy-ever-after with a faithful wife, not a cum hungry hussy who eagerly went down on all his friends, one after another!

Double uh-oh! What if Cheese wanted a slutty marefriend? Rarity said a lot of stallions preferred “open relationships” these days. Then not telling Cheese would be the real tragedy! Pinkie could never do that to him! She’d be sure to let her wonderful lover know all about her slutty slut ways... right after he fucked the squirt out of her on the Ponyville train platform!

Mrs. Cake opened the door to her bedroom and Pinkie saw Mr. Cake lounging lazily in their marriage bed, his stiff cock standing straight up like a monument to well pounded wives throughout history. “You’re late, whorse,” he snarled.

Mrs. Cake bowed her head. “I’m sorry, daddy. Pinkie was slutting all day and she used up all the slut lipstick.”

“Hrm.” Mr. Cake put a hoof under his wife’s chin and lifted her face up for inspection, as if he was deciding which colour of frosting to use on a cake. “It’d be a shame to buy a whorse and not be able to drain my balls. Just for tonight, you can use my wife’s lipstick. Be careful with it — it costs more than you do.”

“Thank you, daddy, you’re so kind!” Mrs. Cake lowered her neck and kissed her husband’s hooves.

Pinkie stuck her tongue out with disgust. “Ew, those touch the ground! And they touch raisins! I hate raisins!”

“No kink shaming, Pinkie,” Mr. Cake told her kindly, yet firmly. He once again lifted his wife’s muzzle up and looked deep into her eyes. “That’s enough hoof worship, cunt. Your slobber looks better on my dick. Put that lipstick on so I can skull fuck your mouthpussy.”

“Oh, daddy, you’re such a romantic,” Mrs. Cake sighed. She stepped to her vanity, picked up a designer applicator from an exclusive Manehattan boutique and expertly dabbed on a beautiful, glossy pink liquid lipstick that perfectly complemented her blue coat.

“Whoa, you look great in that, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie admired her fellow submissive as she blew kisses at her mirror. The subtle pink gave her a stylish and sophisticated look, nothing like the bright red goop Pinkie had been smearing on all day! Pinkie had glimpsed Mrs. Cake wearing this shade before, but only as she and her husband trotted out the door for a date night, leaving Pinkie to watch the twins. To see it up close like this... gee, Cup Cake was a knockout, a real MILF! Pinkie could only hope she’d look this good after forty years and two foals!

Mrs. Cake turned the lipstick applicator around and gently stroked it against Pinkie’s lips. Pinkie looked in the mirror and saw that the expensive pink lipstick was nearly invisible against her even pinker coat. And yet, Pinkie’s lips now glistened like the wet mouth of a hungry mare who needed her throat bucked raw. She barely recognized herself as the real Pinkie Pie — she looked more like the changeling pornstar in that magazine Applejack had found in Big Mac’s room during spring cleaning!

Mama Quartz was right about one thing: lipstick was for harlots! Too bad she didn’t understand that harlots are awesome! Maybe Pinkie could convince her family to let loose, with a super-slutstravaganza of an orgy at the rock farm!

Nah, that wouldn’t work... Mum and Dad were happy with their boring sex life, and Pinkie had already learned that bringing in too much fun could mess up her relationship with her parents. It could be just the thing to find someponies for Limestone and Marble, though!

Mrs. Cake climbed up on the bed and beckoned Pinkie between Mr. Cake’s hind legs. “Just relax, daddy,” she whispered to her lover. “I’m so sorry for the delay. My apprentice Pinkie will be taking a moment to prepare you for my eager marehood. Perhaps you’d care to breed me tonight? I’m certified capable of birthing both unicorns and pegasi~”

Mrs. Cake cupped her husband’s muzzle in her hooves and kissed him passionately, forcing a groan of arousal from his throat. Meanwhile Pinkie relaxed her throat and let Mr. Cake’s dick slide down, down, down, until her lips pressed against the base of his sheath and her chin nestled in between his balls. Easy-peasy! After all the dick sucking practice she’d gotten today, deep throating this monster was no challenge at all! OK, it was a challenge, but just a teensy one. In fact, Pinkie’s main problem was keeping her leaking pussy under control while she worked!

“Oh... oh... oh, you hot little sluts...” was all Mr. Cake could say. Heh heh heh! Pinkie had him right where she wanted him! He was barely pretending to be the dom anymore!

At a gesture from Mrs. Cake, Pinkie slid up and off of Mr. Cake’s cock and gasped for breath. Mrs. Cake tenderly covered her husband’s flare with wet kisses as Pinkie surveyed the shaft with the pride of ownership.

Hey, this dumb fancy lipstick was barely smearing at all! Where were all the messy streaks? How was everypony supposed to know that Pinkie had completely conquered Mr. Cake’s huge dong?

Ulp... or was it the other way around? Pinkie looked up, up, up at the length of malehood that towered over her puffy mane. The veins on Mr. Cake’s thick cock throbbed with aggressive power. His nuts shifted in their sack, rubbing loudly against each other. Mrs. Cake’s gentle suckling on the tip seemed like a pathetic attempt to appease an angry god. This was a real monster cock! Was Pinkie really the one in charge here?

...

Yah, of course she was! Pinkie had defeated bugbears and evil kings with the mighty power of friendship! She might be a submissive, but that didn’t mean hung guys could boss her around with their dicks! Of course, all of that could change in a flash if Cheese Sandwich pulled her close and gave her a super hot kiss! Then she’d have no choice but to melt into a Pinkie Puddle and obey, obey, obey!

Pinkie rejoined Mrs. Cake at the dick so big it took two sexy mares just to serve it properly. She hungrily lapped at Mr. Cake’s musky balls as Mrs. Cake sucked on the shaft, hoping to coax just a little bit more seed out of him when it came time to deliver her late night snack. Outside, the calm of a summer Ponyville night was broken by the clock striking twelve.

Mrs. Cake quickly disgorged her husband’s cock from her throat. “Woops!” she cackled. “It’s midnight! Time to switch!”

Mr. Cake panted as his abandoned cock throbbed painfully, squeezing out a huge gush of precum. “Of course, honey bun, but just gi—oowwch!” Before he could finish, Mrs. Cake slapped him across the muzzle. “Kneel, worm!” she commanded.

“Y-yes, Mistress, at once!” Mr. Cake climbed up from his comfortable position on the bed, only to grovel and whimper at his wife’s hooves.

“Jeepers, this is confusing,” Pinkie complained. “I never know who to submit to!”

Mrs. Cake shoved Pinkie to the mattress, grinding her face in her husband’s crotch. “Get his balls in your mouth while he fucks me, you homewrecking whorse,” she snarled.

Pinkie saluted cheerfully. “Okey-dokey, can do!”

4. Fish, hold the taco

Author's Note

In this chapter, Pinkie discovers an amazing new addition to her diet. They’re delicious, low in calories, often full of cum, and every mare in Ponyville has one! :pinkiehappy:

4. Fish, hold the taco

Pinkie Pie wiggled happily beneath her blankets, letting the morning sun play over her smiling features as she awoke from a pleasant dream, special delivery from Luna herself! The cheerful party pony had found the secret to the Griffonstone Diet: frequent spunk injections from every horsehung guy in Ponyville! For the first time in days, Pinkie’s stomach was content.

Her jaw was another story, however...

“Aww, heck!” Pinkie grumbled her first words of the day as she rubbed her aching muzzle and throat. “Nopony told me blowjobs were exercise! Geeze, just talking to myself hurts!”

Pinkie rolled over in her bed and stretched out, her love handles jiggling. “I bet I sucked a hundred dicks yesterday! I wish there was some way the cum could just plop into my mouth without me having to bring the guy off... aww, but that’s crazy talk!” The determined mare hopped out of her bed and began her morning bondage stretches. “C’mon, Pinkie, you can do this. Just three more days of constant cocksucking, and you’ll be nice and trim for Cheese!”

Suddenly a knock sounded at her bedroom door. “Pinkie, are ya in here?” she heard Applejack call out. Pinkie happily flung open the door to see Rainbow Dash standing next to her wife, both mares had serious expressions on their faces.

“Yay! It’s a breakfast pastry party! I’ll get the muffins and the danishes and—oh.” Pinkie’s mane sagged as she remembered her commitment to her diet. “Never mind. Want some green beans and some unsweetened coffee?”

“We already ate, sugarcube. We came ta town early fer a serious discussion with ya.”

“We heard you blew Thunderlane yesterday,” Rainbow Dash accused Pinkie.

“I blew a lot of guys...” Pinkie admitted with reluctance. “Who told you I blew Thunderlane?”

“Thunderlane.”

Pinkie shrugged. “Welp, you got me, but what’s it to you?”

“Thunderlane’s our personal plaything. We’d appreciate it if ya didn’t go stealin’ his hardons.”

“Um, aren’t you lesbians?” Pinkie queried. “Cause I’m pretty sure I catered your lesbian wedding.”

“Now where’d ya learn a fancy word like ‘lesbians?’” Applejack put a hoof around Rainbow Dash. “We’re just a couple o’ gals who love fuckin’ each other!”

“Yeah.” Pinkie deadpanned. “That’s lesbians.”

“We’re hot bi babes,” Dash explained. “We keep a few good looking stallions around to cool us down between rounds of steamy mare on mare action.”

Pinkie scratched her head. “Is that normal?”

“Normal as sunshine in an apple orchard,” Applejack firmly declared. “Heck, you’d make a pretty hot bi babe yerself, all squishy an’ roly poly. We’re all surprised you never gave pussy a try.”

“Well, erm, my parents... they never approved of that stuff.” Pinkie felt shameful emotions surge inside her as she looked over her beautiful, hard bodied friends. She’d always been told to push these feelings down with food, but now there wasn’t any food! “I-I’m totally cool with you being that way, it’s just not for me.”

“Sugarcube, is somethin’ wrong? Ya look like yer bout ta start cryin’.”

Pinkie bit her lip, frantically recalling a song Mama Quartz had taught her. “It’s sinful to think about another mare’s pink — just eat, eat, eat til the urges go away!” “I kinda don’t want to talk about it, if that’s OK?”

Rainbow Dash and Applejack glanced at each other. “Sure, Pinkie,” Dash said, quickly. “You know we’d never try to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry, guys.” Pinkie dejectedly started to close her bedroom door. “I hope Thunderlane’s not in too much trouble.”

“Nah, he took his punishment like a big colt. Real proud of ’im.”

“Oh?” Despite herself, Pinkie’s pussy twitched. Her hoof slowed and her door stayed half open.

Dash puffed up with pride. “Yep, he mounted Applejack, and then I flew up and pegged him good!”

“Tween you an’ me, I think he kinda liked it!” Applejack grinned slyly. “Didn’t last thirty seconds fore he was nuttin’ up in my business somethin’ fierce.”

Pinkie gulped. Was everypony in Ponyville a big ol’ perv except for her? “H-he came inside you?”

“Heck yeah, how else is Dash gonna lick it out?”

Pinkie’s poor belly growled like an Ursa Major. “Is there any left?”

“I hope not!” Applejack snorted. “Otherwise it’s mah lovely wife’s turn ta git punished!”

“Heh, you’ll have to catch me first!” Rainbow Dash sped through Pinkie’s bedroom and vanished with a rainbow blur through her window.

Applejack gave an embarrassed chuckle and put a hoof to the back of her neck. “Awright, Pinkie, looks like I got mah work cut out fer me. I’ll see ya round. If ya want some dong ta tide ya over til Cheese gets back, come down to the farm an’ we’ll make it a friendly fourway, y’hear?”

“I’ll think about it,” Pinkie whispered sadly. Applejack bounced off of Pinkie’s bed and jumped through her window, whooping and twirling her lasso as she chased down her supposedly submissive wife.

Pinkie snorted and trotted down the stairs to start her day of work at Sugarcube Corner. No way was she going down on the farm! She’d just succumb to temptation, end up with a faceful of slippery apple-vag and make Mama Quartz cry! And make Applejack cum... quivering, beautiful and helpless... nope, nope, nope! Pinkie could handle this! She would keep her mouth full of dick all day long, and avoid the sinful temptations of cremefilled mare pussies!

“Hey, guys, sorry for the... wait?” Just as Pinkie stepped hoof in the restaurant, her jaw dropped with astonishment at her terrible luck. Yesterday, Sugarcube Corner’s customers had been an epic sausagefest, but this morning there wasn’t a wiener or peener to be seener! Queuing politely at the counter were Vinyl, Derpy, Starlight, Lily... all of them well known around town for the pert little pussies they toted between their hind legs, instead of the hefty feeding tubes Pinkie was depending on for her breakfast! Rather than the heady scent of stallion musk, Pinkie’s sensitive baker’s nose detected a most unusual brew: the slick scent of feminine arousal. And not just hers, either!

Pinkie walked to the counter with trepidation, as Vinyl Scratch let out a huge yawn. “Oh, sorry, Pinkie.” The blue maned unicorn looked just as tired as Pinkie felt, and her belly was freakin’ huge! Vinyl was pregnant now? How did that even work with her and Octavia? And why had nopony told Pinkie so she could get started planning the shower?

Pinkie forced a friendly Sugarcube Corner smile. “Good morning, Vinyl! Gosh, you look pooped! Did you do a big show last night?”

“Sort of. Tavi tied me to the bed and had stallions fuck me nonstop for twelve hours.” The mare pulled down her dark glasses to show tired and bloodshot eyes. “The life of a hot bi babe, am I right? Geeze, it feels like my womb’s holding every drop of cum in Ponyville! Anyways, two large coffees, please.”

Pinkie stared at the forthright unicorn in front of her. Her eyes crossed as she heard a rhythmic drip, drip, plap sound directed from Vinyl’s hindquarters. A record skipped over and over in her mind, playing a cruel song:

sinful to think

another mare’s pink

just eat, eat, eat

mare’s pink

eat, eat, eat

pink

eat

“Pinkie, are you OK?” Vinyl asked, waving a hoof in front of the distracted baker. “I’m sorry I was babbling on. I guess it is TMI to tell you about every handsome stud who seeded my sopping wet pussy, but I’m just so grateful Tavi still lets me have dick, you know? A lot of girls wouldn’t understand!”

“Turn around,” Pinkie panted desperately.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s no time to explain! Just do it!”

Vinyl reluctantly shifted her hips and turned around to present her cum glistening pussy. “W-what’s going on, Pinkie? Is Equestria in danger?”

“The only thing in danger is dat ass!” Pinkie just knew that Ponyville’s prettiest DJ would get the picture once the hungry baker started licking the glaze off that cruller. She dove her muzzle into Vinyl’s messy cunt and lapped up gobs and gobs of delicious nut, left there by dozens of hung stallions who didn’t know their cumshots were going to have a sexy second act as part of a public lesbian show!

Vinyl’s horn spat out sparks of surprise. “Oh my gosh, Pinkie! Wow! Erm... you’ve never done this before, have you?”

“Not even once!” Pinkie proudly proclaimed. She loved tickling her pussy, and tickling Vinyl’s was just as fun! Maybe even more fun, cause she could use her lips and tongue! Being a lesbian was like combining two of her favourite things: friendship and masturbation!

Vinyl sighed with frustration. “Yeah, I can tell. Long time slut, first time rug muncher, right? Let me help. Can you think about how it feels when Cheese Sandwich licks your clit?”

“I think about that ALL THE TIME! It’s like sparkly tingles in my love button and I just gotta cum or I’ll explode into confetti!”

“Well, if you lick my clit, you can make me feel that way.”

“Ooh, that makes sense!” Pinkie found the unicorn’s second magical “horn” and tenderly stroked with the tip of her tongue, just like she’d taught Cheese to do. You couldn’t go too hard, you couldn’t neglect the labia, and of course a little nuzzle with the lip goes a long way!

With Pinkie happily pretending she was eating herself out, it wasn’t long before Vinyl tensed up and moaned, her well fucked pussy squirting out globs of stallion seed mixed with her own erotic juices as she finally had a chance to relax and expel the loads she’d been holding all night. Mmm, breakfast was served! Mouthful after mouthful of hot, goopy mare flavoured treats! Pinkie drank it all down, and slurped for more!

“Ooh! Yeah! Now you’re getting it, Pinkie!” Vinyl wiggled her squishy, cummy pussy against Pinkie’s gulping muzzle. Pinkie vigorously tongued the other mare through her orgasm, swallowing cum all along the way, then kissed tenderly at Vinyl’s thighs, making sure to get every drop. Guy cum or girl cum, it didn’t matter on the Griffonstone diet!

“Wow, not bad...” Vinyl murmured with a silly smile. Her belly was flat now, and Pinkie’s was even rounder than usual!

“There ya go!” Pinkie said with pride. “The very first Pinkie Pie lesbian orgasm! Have a great day!” Pinkie set her friend and frequent party collaborator free with an extra naughty kiss, right on the flank. Heheheh! Applejack was always telling obnoxious ponies to “kiss mah butt,” but now Pinkie could actually... gosh, why is that so hot to think about?

“Hey, Equestria to Pinkie!” Vinyl suddenly butted in on Pinkie’s fantasy. “My coffee?”

“Woops!” Pinkie whipped out two takeout cups and filled them with Sugarcube Corner’s famous coffee. “Sorry! I forgot all about that cause girls’ butts are so cute!”

“They sure are!” Vinyl smiled happily as she sniffed the rich, fresh brewed aroma. “Thanks, I wouldn’t want Tavi to punish me for coming back without coffee... not that she could punish me without her coffee!”

“Yeah, totally, hahahah!” Pinkie blurted out. “Coffee’s super kinky!” Golly, what were they going to do with the coffee? Pinkie hoped Vinyl wouldn’t suspect she was totally clueless! She set the cups down on the counter. “Here ya go! Have lots of fun coffee sex with your marefriend!”

“Erm, yeah, see you around, Pinkie. Thanks for the eatout!” Vinyl carefully carried the coffee away in her shaky magic aura. “Coffee sex? What the Tartarus kind of drug is she on today?”

Next in line was Derpy Hooves, who turned and presented her cute, dripping mail pouch to Pinkie. “Can I have what she’s having?” the pegasus postmistress asked sweetly.

“Any jizz in there?” Pinkie growled.

“Nope, but I could make a quick booty call and come back!”

“Yay, that sounds great!” Derpy galloped out of Sugarcube Corner and flapped into the Ponyville sky. Pinkie looked down the line of her customers, hoping to spot an easy meal, only to find that her predicament had only gotten worse! Mare after mare had joined the queue and now stood expectantly, waiting to buy the baked goods Pinkie couldn’t eat and with nothing creamy to offer in return! Between yesterday’s blowjob feast and Vinyl’s all night gang bang, it seemed there wasn’t a stallion in Ponyville capable of crawling out of bed this morning... except for Mr. Cake!

Yeah! Mr. Cake was working right behind Pinkie in the kitchen, and his balls were heavy with an overnight load! Pinkie just needed to take a quick break, feed on his awesome dong, swallow his cum and she’d be ready to sproing the day!

“Back in a minute, guys!” she called out, and dashed into the kitchen. “Mr. Cake, I need some cum, pronto!” But the stud of Sugarcube Corner was already spent, his limp cock slowly retreating back into its sheath. The lucky Mrs. Cake was bent over the kitchen counter, panting and rubbing herself to a juicy orgasm.

“Nooo!” Pinkie cried out. She dropped onto her hind legs and threw her hooves up dramatically. “My breakfast jizz!”

“Oh, gee, Pinkie,” Mr. Cake chuckled, “we didn’t know you were up for joining our morning quickie. Sorry, but I unloaded into the missus not thirty seconds ago.”

“Not a problem!” Pinkie waggled her obscenely long tongue and slapped a mining helmet onto her head. “Time to go spelunking for spunk!” She pressed her face into Mrs. Cake’s bounteous plot and jabbed her tongue into the horny mare’s slick pussy.

Mrs. Cake’s own tongue quickly dropped out of her mouth. “Pinkie, I never knew you were interested in — oh, gosh, I haven’t been with another mare since the twins were born!”

Despite her protests, Mrs. Cake juiced up and squirted readily, just as a mare should when another girl goes down on her in front of her husband. But as Pinkie slurped away she quickly noticed that something was wrong with this hot MILF pie. Pinkie knew flavour profiles, and this one was way off!

“Hey, what gives, Mrs. Cake? You taste great, but where’s the cum?”

“I’m afraid you’re looking in the wrong place.” Mrs. Cake blushed deeply. “Carrot and I are short on time in the mornings, so we usually use... well, the other hole.”

“I gotcha!” Pinkie pulled her wriggling tongue out of Mrs. Cake’s cervix. “Cheese always busts quick when he puts it in my plot, too! What is it with stallions and anal, anyway?” She pawed Mrs. Cake’s prominent plot cheeks apart and dove back in, soothing the sensitive, recently fucked flesh with her tongue.

Mmm, there it was! That sweet, salty, yummy foal batter couldn’t hide from Pinkie — even a mare’s butthole offered no refuge from her excavating tongue! Mr. Cake’s fresh seed was just as plentiful as last night, and even yummier, since it now had the extra taste of a happy couple in love.

“Oh, Pinkie, what a treat!” Mrs. Cake gasped out. “No need to worry, I’m all clean back there.”

“I didn’t ask but, thanks!”

Mr. Cake quickly found himself with a brand new erection watching the spicy show. His wife pounded her hooves on the counter, biting her lip with pleasure as the pretty younger mare thoroughly rimmed her out. Suddenly, the drooling stallion was shocked from his horny reverie by the words of his needy special somepony.

“Carrot, are you g-going to help, or are you making P-Pinkie do all the work?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, sugar, of course!” The generous husband quickly knelt on the floor, slid in beneath Pinkie’s body and reached up to tend Mrs. Cake’s pussy with his mouth, just like Vinyl had taught Pinkie to do.

In their daytime trysts, the Cakes’ relationship was way gentler than in their bedroom at night. Mrs. Cake was definitely the domme for today, but instead of berating her husband she smiled and tenderly ruffled his mane as she quivered and came again under her double team, her plump ass cheeks squishing Pinkie’s head as the young mare noisily sucked the last few drops of cum out of her thoroughly satisfied butthole.

Mrs. Cake climbed down from the counter and gently embraced Pinkie and her husband. “I’m so happy to start the day with my two special ponies,” she sighed. She gave Pinkie a peck on the lips and then giggled. “Oh! I’m sorry, that just came naturally. I hope you don’t mind a little kiss.”

Now it was Pinkie who blushed. “That was really fun, but Cheese Sandwich probably won’t want me to kiss other ponies.” Slurping up other mares’ creampies was an important part of the Griffonstone Diet, but Pinkie couldn’t imagine explaining a lesbian kiss to her coltfriend... let alone how the kiss made her feel!

“Maybe he’d like it if you both got to know me a little better,” Mrs. Cake suggested. “I’ve seen the way Cheese looks at me.”

“He does?” Pinkie asked with shock. “I mean, you have?”

Mrs. Cake turned her head and hungrily kissed her husband. “It’s all right with you, isn’t it, honey bun?”

“Oh, sure thing, sweetie pie.” Mr. Cake lovingly cuddled the two plush mares who’d been pumping his balls dry these past few nights. “I need all the help I can get to satisfy my two hungry customers.”

“Hungry customers?” Pinkie screamed. “Woops! Gotta go!” She dashed out of the kitchen and back into the restaurant, leaving Mr. and Mrs. Cake to fall romantically into each other’s hooves.

The sight was the same as when Pinkie had left: a long line of mares eager for Sugarcube Corner treats. But now the mares were facing away from Pinkie, shoving their butts at her and showing off pussies and ponuts glistening with fresh sperm.

Now this was more like it! “C’mon, girls, step right up!” Pinkie cackled cheerfully. She slipped her tongue into Derpy’s pussy and took that first heavenly slurp of the mare’s fragrant juices, mixed with a fresh load of Doctor Whooves’ cum. Scrump-a-riffic!

“Ooh, Pinkie!” Derpy cried out. “I never thought you’d be interested in... gosh! Oh, but not a word to Doc, alright?”

“Sure, you got it!” Pinkie sealed the promise with a kiss, right on Derpy’s winking love button.

“Oh, right there, Pinkie! Right... down... there! You’re a natural!”

Pinkie just smiled. Applejack was right — she should have tried being a hot bi babe a long time ago! Or at least before spending a whole day giving out jaw-aching blowies! There was no need to put herself through all that trouble when the cum came right to her, wrapped in tasty velvety mare holes!

Just a little action on Derpy’s clit, and Pinkie had a mouthful of sperm and another happy customer. Her wet, wiggly tongue was the funnest thing in Equestria! Postage stamps knew it, ice cream cones knew it, Cheese Sandwich definitely knew it, and now Ponyville’s cute marepussies were becoming acquainted!

Derpy moaned and panted under Pinkie’s care, her wings extending out stiffly until she fluttered slightly off the floor of Sugarcube Corner, squeaking and quivering. The pegasus whinnied and pawed at the air beneath her hooves, wiggling her broad hips around Pinkie’s muzzle as she let loose with a thick stream of marecum. “Pinkie, Pinkie, please, oh, gosh, I’m cumming!”

The other horny customers applauded as Derpy reached her climax. Pinkie let her oral attentions simmer down to light kisses and teasing nuzzles against the mature mare’s messy thighs, allowing her to come down gently back to earth. An expert girl pleaser like Pinkie knew that keeping a hardcore slurp on that adorable nub after the orgasm hit would have been just too much, like adding an extra M to the Marzipan Marscapone Meringue Madness cake!

“MMMMM!” Derpy sighed. “Oh, gosh, Pinkie, that was incredible! How do you do it?”

Pinkie slapped Derpy on her jiggly plot. “Customer satisfaction is guaranteed!” she called out with pride. “Hey, did you want to order something?”

“Oh, yeah, a muffin would be tops!”

“You got it, cutie!” Derpy blushed and covered her face with a wing as Pinkie dropped a blueberry muffin into a takeout bag.

Wow, flirting with mares was just as much fun as with stallions! Muff diving was the way to go! That way Pinkie could stay 120% faithful to Cheese Sandwich and to her diet. The only dick to go inside her would be her coltfriend’s! And Mr. Cake’s. And maybe if she got really hungry, or the guy had a really nice one...

Maybe she should pay her friends a visit at the farm. That way she could get another taste of Thunderlane, right out of Dashie’s sweet pussy! Cheese didn’t need to know, right? After all, eating ain’t cheating!

5. Cream, hold the cookies

Author's Note

Not gonna lie, there is some cum drinking in this chapter.

5. Cream, hold the cookies

Pinkie Pie hummed a happy tune as she pranced through the halls of Canterlot Castle. When she was a filly, this huge building had been a frightening, faraway fortress, the home of the all powerful Princess Celestia. But now it was just the house where her cool friend Twilight lived! Pinkie knew the palace like the back of her hoof. She’d been here on sleepovers, been covered with awards and medals in fancy ceremonies, planned the entire Grand Galloping Gala once, even had sex with Cheese Sandwich in the guest bedroom! (And the kitchen, and the moat...)

The best part was that the Royal Guard let her snoop wherever she wanted. No part of the castle was off limits to Pinkie Pie, one of the top ten heroes of Equestria! All the guards bowed to her when she sproinged past, even the cute guys!

Yet for some reason the guards at Twilight’s throne room wouldn’t let her in, even when she batted her eyelashes, flirted with them, deep throated their cocks and swallowed their cum! Even as their satisfied dongs sheathed, these epic grumpypants frowned at her, silently crossed their spears and blocked her way.

Pinkie slinked away unhappily. Had she really become such a chubster that she couldn’t wrap stallions around her hoof anymore? Well, she’d just have to use the secret entrance to the throne room! Yeah! That’d show ’em!

Maybe she should have used the secret entrance to begin with, Pinkie mused guiltily as she sneaked from pillar to pillar towards the hidden passage. But those guards were so big and muscular, such a nice change from her skinny coltfriend... and their dicks smelled great! You couldn’t blame a girl from getting a wandering mouth after a whole month without her special somepony! She’d make it up to Cheese once he came back from Yakyakistan — Pinkie Promise!

Pinkie struggled through the secret passage and barely managed to pull her plus sized plot through the trapdoor at the back of the throne room. The frantic grunting sounds of her struggle were drowned out by even louder grunting sounds coming from Princess Twilight Sparkle. Pinkie peeked from behind Twilight’s throne and saw a unicorn stallion hugging her friend from behind, guiding her magical aura with his own. Neat, he was probably teaching her some nerdy new spell or something!

“Hi, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted cheerfully, hopping out from behind the throne with a spray of confetti.

“OH, SHIT! I mean, h-hi, Pinkie!” Twilight quickly shooed the stallion away from her and looked embarrassed. “You can go now, professor. We’ll continue your experiment tonight.”

“B-but Princess, I didn’t finish...”

“You can go now.”

The well built stallion glared angrily at Pinkie as he bowed and backed out of Twilight’s throne room with a bowlegged gait. “Geeze, what’s with that guy?” Pinkie mused once the heavy doors had closed.

Twilight smiled like a schoolfilly with a crush on the teacher. “Professor Poundflanks has a brilliant mind,” she gushed, “but he hates being interrupted while he’s hard at work.”

“Ooh, kinda like Rarity! Or Mr. Cake! Or you!”

“All very good examples. Now, what can I do for you, Pinkie? Our next Council of Friendship meeting isn’t for another two weeks.”

“I know you’re super busy ruling Equestria, Twilight, so I’ll get right to the point: I need a whole bunch of stallion cum!”

Twilight winced. “Of course you do.”

“Not just ‘I know a guy who shoots a lot!’ I’m talking about buckets of the good stuff!”

“Do I want to know why?”

“I’m doing the Griffonstone Diet, and cum’s the only thing that fills me up!”

“Phew!” Twilight sat back in her throne and relaxed. “That’s not nearly as bad as I thought.”

“And I thought, who’s the jizz-drenchiest hoe I know? And the answer was you, Twilight!”

Twilight groaned. “Thanks, I guess, but reproductive fluid is hardly my area. You should talk to Cadance — wait, actually, I can help you!”

“Woohoo! You’re the best, old buddy! Hit me with that yummy nut!”

Twilight lit up her horn and summoned a large cup into the throne room, hovering it between herself and Pinkie. The beautiful cup was made of the purest silver, and shone with thousands of tiny white pearls and glittering diamonds.

“This is the Chalice of Life,” Twilight explained.

“Ooh-ooh-ooh! Is it a mystical artifact a bazillion years old from the dawn of Equestria?”

“More like fifteen years old. It was Cadance’s ascension project.”

“Almost as good!”

“I’ve sent it back to her over and over, but somehow it keeps showing up again in my royal bathroom. That scrawny pink bitch thinks she’s so funny...”

“What’s it do? What’s it do?” Pinkie pranced excitedly around the hovering chalice, her body bouncing wildly in all directions. “Mmm, it smells like stallion sauce!”

“There’s a very good reason for that. Whenever a stallion masturbates, anywhere in Equestria, there’s a chance his sperm will be magically sent into the Chalice of Life instead of ruining a tissue. The magic deactivates once the chalice is full, so it doesn’t flood my bathroom. To put it in laypony terms, it’s a cup that’s always full of cum — exactly what you need for your diet!”

“Wowie wow wow WOW!” Pinkie jumped into the air and dove head first into the Chalice of Life. Her muzzle filled the wide bowl of the cup, and the hungry party pony began to slurp the accumulated cum of hundreds of anonymous stallions as Twilight struggled to hold the Chalice aloft.

Pinkie quickly gulped down the contents of the chalice and licked the bowl. “Mmm, this is PERFECT!” she squealed. “I barely feel hungry at all now! A couple more like that, and I’ll be all set for lunch! Thanks a SQUILLION, Twilight!”

“Not so loud, please.” Twilight gently hovered Pinkie and the Chalice to the ground and put a hoof against her forehead. “I’m extremely sexually frustrated at the moment, and it’s put me in a bad mood.”

“Ooh, I can help with that!” Pinkie squealed, hopping off of the priceless artifact and licking the cum moustache from her face. “I’m a hot bi babe now!”

Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Pinkie, I’m straight.”

“I can help with that, too!”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Worked for me!” Pinkie countered.

“You were psychologically repressed by your fundamentalist parents. I’m actually heterosexual! I’m very happy that you’ve finally gotten in touch with your true feelings, but I really am only interested in stallions!”

Pinkie giggled. “Isn’t this where they cut to us in bed together?”

“Huh?”

“Nailed it!” Pinkie rolled over in the guest bed and kissed her friend on the cheek. “You were great, Twilight!”

Twilight pulled the sheets down over her barrel and blinked with confusion. Through the window, the moon shone silently in the dark sky of Canterlot. “Pinkie, what in the fuck just happened?”

Pinkie waggled her eyebrows. “I blew your mind, ya royal hottie.” She reached for her nightstand and gulped down another hefty draught of cum from the Chalice of Life.

“This is utterly bizarre,” Twilight mused, “but I must admit I haven’t been this relaxed since I became a princess. Pinkie, you’ve shown me pleasures I never thought were possible!”

“Same to you! Wanna go for round five?”

“Five?” Twilight blurted out with shock.

“Maybe six! I lost count when you put your hornamajig in my winker!”

Twilight tenderly nuzzled Pinkie’s chest floof. “However many it was, I’d love to spend more time with you, but I need to check on Professor Poundflanks. I did promise I’d see him tonight. We’ll catch up at breakfast, alright?”

“Breakfast with you? I wouldn’t miss it! Hey, is there any way to make this chalice thingy get full faster?” Pinkie reached into the Chalice of Life, scraped out a few new strings of cum, and sucked her hoof clean. “I’m super duper hungry from all that girl boinking we did during the scene break!”

Twilight yawned and climbed out of her friend’s bed. “It’s the middle of the night. There just aren’t many stallions clopping off right now. You’ll get more than you need in a few hours, as everypony deals with their morning wood.”

“Awww!” Pinkie pouted. “Wait, I got the best idea! You know how there used to be a Mare in the Moon? What if you drew a butt on the moon? Then stallions would wake up, see the Butt in the Moon and they’d want to clop!”

“Yeah, sure, Pinkie.” Twilight rolled her eyes with a groan. “First thing in the morning, I’ll commission a study of modifying the surface of the moon to encourage nocturnal male masturbation.”

“Thanks!” Pinkie leaned over and kissed her favourite princess right on that hot little cutie mark. “You’re a good friend, Twilight!”

Waking up with the sunrise after a night of sapphic passion, Pinkie finally understood how Applejack and Rainbow Dash made their marriage work. In fact, she was sure she could give her friends a few tips. When it came to fitting two cute pony girls in a bed built for just one, Pinkie Pie was now a bona fide expert! Had AJ and Dashie ever thought about using toys on each other, or licking each others’ pussies at the same time? Pinkie thought not!

But that didn’t mean horny lesbian thoughts had completely pushed the handsome Cheese Sandwich out of Pinkie’s mind! Nope, this hot bi babe was determined to give her coltfriend the banging of a lifetime tomorrow morning... which would hopefully distract him from all the banging she’d done without him over the past week. Some of it might look a teensy bit like cheating, to somepony who didn’t know the context. And she wasn’t done yet! To finish her diet Griffonstone strong, Pinkie needed to start Friday off by drinking one morning load after another from a bunch of guys she didn’t know!

The Chalice of Life filled as quickly as Pinkie could empty it, and each cupful was a different mix of stallions from all across Equestria. Some of the cum was watery, some was thick, some was sweet and some tasted kinda gamy. Each and every gulp was a fun surprise in its mixture of flavours and textures. She drank down the very first load of a stallion who’d just turned 18, the cum of an elderly widower who honoured his wife’s memory every morning, and everything in between. All of it went into Pinkie’s belly, and all of it was a wonderful and appreciated gift.

But the one load Pinkie never tasted was the one she needed the most. Cheese Sandwich knew better than to waste his cum clopping off to some Yakyakistan pinup girl! Soon enough he’d be back in Ponyville and injecting a month’s worth of pent up nut soup directly into Pinkie’s private reserve, “Cheese only” orifices!

Pinkie crossed her hooves as she drank down the cum of lesser stallions, praying that they’d help her lose enough weight and she wouldn’t disappoint her lover with a dress that didn’t make her true feelings known. Instead of her fuck-me dress, Pinkie might have to dig out her “let’s just make out” dress, or her “OK, but no anal” dress! Ugh, those dresses sucked!

Pinkie waddled down the hall to her meeting with Twilight, sipping from the Chalice as she did. An occasional burp gave her pause, as did the rumbling of an uneasy stomach forced for nearly a week to work on pure semen instead of the constant stream of sugar it was used to. But Pinkie was determined, and her cranky tummy was just going to have to deal! She kept gulping mouthfuls of that warm and tangy “milkshake,” focusing her thoughts on Cheese’s handsome face, picturing his eyes bulging out as his marefriend seductively brushed up against him in her perfectly fitting fuck-me dress. Pinkie felt her lips grow squishy and wet as she imagined herself slipping into that dress, the sheer silky fabric sliding smoothly and easily over her trim (but not too trim) rump, ready and eager to accept Cheese any which way he wanted to take her!

Finally Pinkie entered the grand breakfast room and saw Twilight Sparkle sitting at the golden table in her housecoat, digging in to a stack of pancakes covered with syrup and chocolate chips. A platter of steaming hot asparagus in a cheesy sauce sat at the opposite end of the table.

“Good morning, Pinkie!~” Twilight grinned behind her monstrous stack of pancakes. “I hope you slept well.”

Pinkie beamed cheerfully. “Sure did! I clopped off twice after you left!”

“Amazing!” Twilight picked up a quill with her magic and quickly took notes. “Now that we’re lovers, I find your total lack of personal boundaries arousing rather than embarrassing! Anyways, I had the kitchens prepare you a healthy breakfast compatible with the Griffonstone Diet, and I can take the Chalice back before you head off to Ponyville.”

“Don’t you dare!” Pinkie held the cup protectively to her barrel and licked the inside. Twilight gawked over her pancakes at her friend’s rounded, sloshing body. “Holy cow, Pinkie, how much cum did you drink?”

“I dunno, how much is there?”

“There’s oceans! Do you know any stallions? My brother could fill the Chalice every day, all by himself! Have you ever wondered why all of Equestria’s heroes are mares? It’s because we can control ourselves! We don’t get horny and distracted looking at a huge changeling ass!”

“Speak for yourself! King Thorax can get it any day!” Pinkie plopped her plot down on her chair and shook the Chalice over her breakfast like a pepper grinder, flinging streamers of thick, silvery liquid over the asparagus.

“No big deal, but that sauce takes three hours to make,” Twilight muttered. “I’ll tell the chef he should have rubbed one out on your breakfast instead.”

Pinkie sniffed the fancy china plate. “Nah, I like the sauce, too!” she assured her friend. “It’s aromarific!” With a single swipe of her tongue she pulled everything off of the plate and swallowed it down. “Mmm, and tastiful!” Pinkie patted her tummy and licked the plate clean. “Well, I’d better catch the train back to Ponyville. Thanks a bunch for the Chalice of Jizz, Twilight! You’re a real pal!”

Twilight groaned. “Oh my gosh, Pinkie, give the Chalice back. You can’t take one of Equestria’s most powerful artifacts home with you. I only let you borrow it to teach you a lesson.”

“Huh? What lesson?”

“You always take a good thing too far! Sure, it’s fun to make Profess—a hot guy cum in your mouth, even taking a facial can be sexy, but come on, Pinkie! I gave you more cum than you could possibly drink, so you’d learn to be careful what you ask for!”

“But I was careful! And now I carefully want more spunk!” Pinkie turned the Chalice upside down and let three fresh streams of semen spurt directly onto her waggling tongue, shooting right out of three horny stallions who’d never have dreamed their seed was feeding the cute heroine they’d all fantasized about. “See? I’d never waste any of this precious guy goo! Let me keep the magic cup, pleeease?”

Twilight grumbled. “I hate encouraging your gluttony, but there is some scientific evidence for the Griffonstone Diet, and it would let me get rid of that disgusting thing... all right, Pinkie, you can keep the Chalice. Just take care of it, and please don’t tell Cadance.”

“No way! You can count on me, Twilight! I can keep a secret for up to four days!” Pinkie happily sproinged out of the palace, holding the sperm-dribbling Chalice carefully in her mouth.

“What a fucking mess, literally.” Twilight sighed, then smiled cheerfully. “Still, Pinkie never fails to teach me something new about myself!” The ruler of Equestria picked up her quill and started to compose a letter.

Dear Cadance,

On second thought, I would love for you to “strap one on and take me to pound town.” Does Tuesday work for you? :twilightblush:

With deepest affection,
Twilight

PS: if you get a weird letter from Pinkie, just ignore it.

6. Cheese, hold the sandwich

“Saturday morning! I’m gonna see Cheese!” Pinkie sang happily as she twirled Gummy around her bedroom. “He’ll say ‘Sex?’ and I’ll say ‘Yes, please!’ With a wrinkle of the ear and a twitch of the tail, my Pinkie Sense says I’m about to get nailed~!”

Gummy yawned. The excited earth pony set down her pet, tossed back a gulp from the Chalice of Life and enthusiastically began her exercises as the magical cup quickly refilled with the fruits of dozens of stallions’ morning clop sessions. She moved her bounteous and bouncy body through the dildo squats, the tushie plug — and lots and lots of bondage stretches, of course! Pinkie wanted to be extra flexible today for her oh-so-stiff Cheese Sandwich!

Pinkie still couldn’t bear to look at her scale, but weight was just a number, after all. The only thing that mattered was fitting Equestria’s sexiest mare into Equestria’s sexiest dress, and on Saturday morning, after a week of tough dieting, she finally made it inside.

She held her tummy in as far as she could. Mrs. Cake held the zipper firmly in her teeth and was finally able to pull it up that final notch. Pinkie adored herself in the mirror as the older mare used gel to style her puffy mane into ringlets. The once shy rock farm girl was now a perfect ten! Maybe even a twenty!

The final touch was a light application from Pinkie’s very own tube of bright red slut lipstick. She blushed to think of what she’d done to earn the lipstick, but she knew it would all work out. Cheese was going to love every naughty trick the Cakes had taught her in the past week!

Mrs. Cake smiled and looked Pinkie over possessively. “Now get out there, before I rip that dress off and fuck you myself!” Pinkie giggled and squeezed through the door to Sugarcube Corner. She was finally ready for her reunion with her cute, funny, hunky coltfriend!

The straps of the dress bit painfully into Pinkie’s withers as she carefully walked through Ponyville towards the train station. Her hooves wobbled in her high heel horseshoes, and the jumbo plot atop her long legs waggled back and forth in perfect time, straining at its confines. Her plentiful thigh meat bulged out and over her fancy stockings, creating a nearly unbearable friction as two pairs of muffin tops rubbed together with every step. Mrs. Cake’s mane gel smelled weird and made Pinkie feel like she was about to sneeze. She was super duper uncomfortable, but it would all be worth it to hear that “boing” as her stud’s erection shot out of its sheath, ready to claim the slim and sexy Pinkie Pie!

If the stallions of Ponyville were anything to go by, Cheese wouldn’t stay sheathed for long! Pinkie turned heads and gathered low whistles as she slowly stepped through the town plaza, trying desperately to stay inside the dress long enough for Cheese to take it off of her. Even Hayseed Turnip Truck, Rarity’s ex from high school, turned away from the window he was washing and ponycalled her.

“Wow, Pinkie! Yer lookin’ fine, mama! C’mon, sit that thing down on mah face so I can tongue punch yer fart box!”

“That’s not an appropriate thing to say, but I appreciate the thought!” Pinkie scolded. She couldn’t understand what her fashionable friend had seen in the crass, low class pony... which meant he must have a truly enormous dick. Gosh, Rarity was such a size queen! Pinkie didn’t get it. Cheese wasn’t the biggest guy around, but he was definitely the bestest in beddest!

At long last the train from Yakyakistan pulled in, and Pinkie’s excited legs quivered in their stockings. She was ready for anything: slut lipstick on her lips, perfume behind the ears, a creamy lube dabbed into her scrumptiously clean ponut, and enough au naturale juices flowing down her thighs to float a small yacht. Surely Cheese would want her to demonstrate her well honed blowjob skills on him... maybe he’d even picked up a new kink or two in Yakyakistan! Pinkie was determined to deny her coltfriend nothing, and when Cheese finally launched his first volley of spunk into her it would be the ultimate dessert to end her painful week of dieting.

Creatures of all races got off of the train as Pinkie bobbed her head, trying to catch the first glimpse of her coltfriend. Finally she saw him helping carry an elderly yak’s suitcases towards the station. What a sweetheart! There was the curly mane and the handsome smile Pinkie loved! Instead of his trademark tropical shirt, though, Cheese was wearing a novelty Yakyakistan tee that said YES FAT CHICKS!

Pinkie ran up to her beloved, flung her hooves around his neck and kissed him, sending her tongue plunging into his mouth and smearing slut lipstick all over his muzzle. “Cheese, I missed your dong so much!” she squeaked. “Oh, and the rest of you, too!”

“Wow, Pinkie!” Cheese was overwhelmed by the force of Pinkie’s passionate kiss. “What a welcome! Step back and let me take a look at you!”

“What do you think? Do ya like my dress~?” Pinkie backed a few steps away from her coltfriend and posed coyly. Behind her, the fabric of the dress creaked ominously as her clearly outlined clit pressed against it in a wink.

“Pinkie, I... wow, wow, WOW! Would you do a little turn for me?”

“Oh, erm, all right, but don’t look at my plot, please?”

“But I want to look at your plot, Pinkie,” Cheese Sandwich panted. “I’ve been dreaming about your plot for a month! There’s nothing in all of Equestria I’d rather look at!”

Pinkie bit her lip. He was so sweet and enthusiastic, she couldn’t say no! “Alright, but be nice, will you? My butt’s had a tough week.”

Pinkie sweated and quivered as she slowly rotated in place, her ass coming into Cheese’s view like the sun rising, enormous and hot, over the Dragonlands. After all her work, this was the moment — what would Cheese think?

“Aah—”

Grr, why was her nose doing that ominous twitcha-twitch? She’d tried to slim down her Pinkie Plot, really, she had! Hadn’t Rainbow Dash told her Cheese would accept her body as it was? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad...

“Aah—aah—aah—”

But it was so bad! Just as her massive ass pointed like a cannon directly at Cheese Sandwich’s drooling muzzle, the itchy mane gel got to Pinkie’s nose... and Pinkie sneezed.

“AaahCHOO!”

A Pinkie Pie sneeze was nothing to sneeze at! The sound seemed to echo all throughout Equestria. The force of the sneeze rocketed Pinkie off the ground, sending her legs flying out in every direction. For the briefest of moments it seemed like everything would be OK... and then Pinkie heard the RRRIP.

The dress ripped right down a seam and Pinkie’s ass exploded outward through the fabric, seeking freedom. Somewhere in the distance, Pinkie heard Rarity’s scream of horror. The two irrepressible globes of rump flew off in opposite directions, then wobbled in place and, just as Pinkie’s hooves landed back on solid ground, slammed back together like powerful hoofball players meeting on the field.

Sadly, when the two titans of thiccness clashed, Cheese’s head was right there in between. A noise like a tormented accordion sounded as the unfortunate stallion was relentlessly squashed between two fearless, world-saving butt cheeks. Poor guy! Not since that last fight with Sombra had anypony taken the full force of Pinkie’s meaty bum right to the face — and Sombra was a big meanie who deserved to get slapped with a butt and sat on! Even if he had started to enjoy it, near the end...

For a moment Pinkie’s cheeks pressed so closely against Cheese’s muzzle it was as if she actually saw him with her ass. She felt his heart melting grin distort into a grotesque smirk, his nostrils flaring wide as the bittersweet scent of musk and sweat poured in, his curly mane flattened between prominent planks of perspiring Pinkie pudge.

Finally Pinkie’s ass bounced back again, releasing Cheese from his humid prison. The surprised stallion gasped loudly for breath, almost unconscious. Pinkie fell forward onto her tummy, hardly noticing as her ruined dress split down the middle. This was the most humiliating experience of her life! For the first time ever, her Pinkie Sense was wrong! She wasn’t about to get nailed, she was about to get Cheese-broken-up-with! She pounded her hooves against the train platform and sobbed pathetically.

“I just wanted to be pretty for you!” Pinkie bawled. “It was so hard, Cheese! So many treats I didn’t eat, and it was all for nothing! I’m nothing but a fat ugly mare with an ugly fat ass!”

Pinkie’s body heaved as she cried, her cheeks clapping together loudly like sarcastic applause. Suddenly an odd sound from behind her made her stop and catch her breath. Cheese Sandwich was... laughing!

“Oh, Pinkie, I knew you were the one for me! You’re beautiful, and creative, and hilarious!”

“Huh? I am?” Pinkie queried with a quivering voice.

“The breakaway dress! It’s a timeless prank, but you’ve made it fresh. Hot diggety damn, just lookit dat plot!”

Then Pinkie heard it: the “boing” of Cheese’s erection. The biggest, firmest “boing” she’d ever heard! She dared to take a glimpse behind her. Cheese’s mane was soaked with Pinkie’s crack sweat, his shirt was wrinkled and soggy, but his proud Pinkie pleaser bounced between his forelegs, dripping with a month’s worth of pent up precum!

“Y-you like my plot like this?” Pinkie whimpered.

“It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen Princess Luna sit on a whoopee cushion!” Cheese cried out. “Jeepers, what else happened while I was in Yakyakistan?”

“I sucked off every guy in town,” Pinkie confessed.

Cheese Sandwich forced a weak smile and his cock drooped with a sad, drawn out trombone sound. “I-I’m sure you had a good reason, though. Right? Maybe a... friendship curse?”

Pinkie blushed and struggled to change the subject. “I eat pussy now, too.”

Cheese’s forced smile swiftly shifted into the real deal, and with a second “boing” the proof of his arousal achieved an incredible new length and thickness. “Aww, you didn’t have to do that! You made your plot bigger for me and you fulfilled my #1 fantasy? What a marefriend!”

“I couldn’t help it!” Pinkie wailed. “Vinyl turned me into a hot bi babe. I know it’s wrong.”

“Wrong? It’s hawt!”

“Yeah, it’s that too. Oh, and the Cakes said we can swing with them if we want to.”

“Mrs. Cake wants to swing? Damn, I’ve died and gone to curve heaven!” Cheese Sandwich reared up on his hind legs and planted his front hooves on his marefriend’s massive ass, paying no attention the crowd that had gathered to stare at the two reunited lovers on the train platform. “Brace yourself, Pinkie!” he called out, his hooves sinking deeper and deeper with every moment into bounteous pink flesh. “I‘m goin’ in!”

“And that’s how you were made!” Pinkie concluded cheerfully. “Actually, that time he stuffed it up my pooper, but the time right after that, we made you!”

Cheese Pie pushed away his dinner plate, vowing to never eat again. “Mom, why did you tell me all that?” he complained. “I only asked you why you’re always drinking from that fancy cup!”

“Because it’s full of stallion cum, and I can’t get enough!” Pinkie told her 18-year-old son. “I thought I explained that! Yepperoony, I’m down to a sensible three cupcakes a day, thanks to the Chalice of Life diet system!”

Cheese Pie squeezed his head between his front hooves. One simple question had triggered a flood of agonizing imagery that no amount of mind bleach could ever erase. “Even if you thought that was OK to tell me, why’d you tell me all the other stuff?” the young stallion moaned. “What’s the point of making me think about you eating Auntie Cake’s pussy, or Dad stuffing your butt, or Princess Twilight getting screwed by that professor in the throne room?”

Pinkie wrinkled her muzzle in thought. “Huh? He was screwing her?”

“Yeah, mom, obviously!”

“The point is...” Pinkie Pie stuck her dinner fork into her messy mane and put a hoof to her chin. “The point... geeze, that’s a real brain tickler, bud! What was the point?”

Cheese Sandwich looked up from his newspaper and came to his wife’s rescue. “The point is, you’ve got to eat right and stay healthy to be a stud like your dad. A sense of humour and plenty of zinc tablets — that’s the key to keeping a mate! Hey, did I ever tell you about my prom night? Why, I bagged two unicorn hotties with my patented hoof buzzer! You wouldn’t believe where they wanted me to put that thing...”

“Wait! I remember!” Pinkie declared, thankfully interrupting yet another obscene flashback. “The point is you should never masturbate, cause your cum might end up in Mama Pinkie’s protein shake!” She lifted the Chalice of Life and swirled around the growing puddle of sperm with a greedy eye. “This one’s safe, though — you’ve been right here at the dinner table this whole time!” Pinkie opened her maw and guzzled a mouthful of sweet smelling stallion spunk. She wiped her lips with a smile. “Mmm, I’m so glad Twilight passed that pineapple juice law!”

“Mom, that’s disgusting!”

Ponyville’s top MILF stared at her son with a look of firm disapproval. “Well, mister, if you don’t like how your mum stays slim, you’d better get out of the house once in a while! Find yourself a mare or a stallion, and get off in a real hole! You know, the Wonderbolts are off on tour, and I bet Auntie Applejack’s feeling mighty lonely tonight. I’m sure she’d love to have a stallion around to help her with the ‘chores...’”

Cheese Sandwich pushed back his chair and slapped Pinkie hard on the ass. Earthquakes rippled through the mature mare’s jiggling plot cheeks, the two biggest reasons why Cheese Pie could never have friends over. The son of Equestria’s biggest pranksters shrank down into his seat as he heard the most dreaded sound of all: his mother letting rip with a wet and squishy wink.

“And don’t hurry back!” Cheese Sandwich told his son. “I’ve got a date with the hottest ass in Equestria!”

“Oh, you!” Pinkie blushed and playfully batted away her husband’s possessive hoof, even as Cheese Pie slid beneath the dinner table, locked in a full body cringe, never to be seen again....

THE END