And it was Celestia's fault
A flash of light, a surge of magic, a Starswirl spell successfully sorcered, and then—
Emptiness.
Twilight awoke to a blue sky of hazy colors and distant stars. “Where am I?”
“Congratulations, Twilight,” answered Celestia, materializing from the aether. “You have died.”
Twilight’s brain short-circuited. “What?”
Celestia continued, unimpeded. “You’ve finally completed Starswirl’s greatest work. A spell to kill even the most stubborn of ponies.”
Twilight’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly.
“The old wizard was tired of living, you see,” explained Celestia. “But he couldn’t just die like a normal pony. He needed something flashier. He wanted to go out with a bang, if you will.”
“How are you here?” Twilight finally found her voice. “Are you dead too?”
Celestia tittered. “Of course not, Twilight. Us alicorns can travel between the realms of life and death without consequence.”
“What about my friends?” Twilight hyperventilated.
“Oh, your friends! Thank you for reminding me, Twilight. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a friendship lesson to give.” Then she vanished, leaving Twilight’s final question to the void.
“Why would you give me a spell meant to kill me?”
And in Twilight’s heart, a seed of doubt grew.
The five mares (and one dragon) gasped in unison. Where Twilight had been now lay an empty, charred streak of wood.
Pinkie broke the silence first. “So, when are we having the Twilight’s-gone-away-to-somewhere-she-didn’t-tell-us party?”
Everypony gave her a look.
“Whaaaat?” said Pinkie, completely missing the mood.
Applejack sighed. “Well, Ah say we send a letter to the princess lickety-split and go find Twilight.”
Fluttershy nodded in wordless support. Rainbow Dash flexed her wings, ready to fly. Rarity turned to Pinkie Pie.
“Will I be in charge of the party decor?”
Everypony but Pinkie gave Rarity a look.
Pinkie nodded rapidly. “Yep! And you can invite all the fancy-dancy schmoozy high-class ponies you want!”
Rarity nearly fainted in excitement. “All of them?”
“All of them,” agreed Pinkie.
Then Rarity did faint.
Applejack looked at the limp white mare, slumped on the ground. She turned her gaze to her remaining supporters. “Anypony else wantin’ to join a party and abandon Twilight to tha wolves?”
“Actually,” said Rainbow Dash, “when you said all the high-class ponies, did that include the Wonderbolts?”
Applejack pulled her hat over her eyes. “That thar was supposed to be a joke…”
“Mm-hmm,” confirmed Pinkie.
“I’m in.” said Rainbow Dash.
Applejack glared at Fluttershy, seeing where this was going. “Now don’t you dare—”
“If you join us, we’ll let you use Twilight’s tree-house for your animals till she gets back,” offered Pinkie.
“Oh,” whispered Fluttershy. “That does sound nice…”
Applejack tossed her hat on the ground and stomped on it. “Now wait just a gosh-darned second! Are y’all saying that you’d rather go to some fancy-schmancy party than search for your missing friend?!”
Rarity lifted herself from the ground gracefully. “It was a fancy-dancy schmoozy party,” she corrected. “Do try to keep up.” Then she went back to fainting.
Applejack’s face reddened in anger. “Well—”
“There’ll be apple pie,” Pinkie Pie interjected.
Applejack instantly mellowed out. “Apples?”
“Apples.”
And so the five of them were in agreement.
Meanwhile, Spike wailed miserably atop the patch of burned wood. “Twilight! I can’t believe you’re gone! You were like a mother to me!”
“Hey, look on the bright side!” said Pinkie. “Nopony can stop you from eating too much ice cream now.”
Spike raised a claw, paused, then headed directly for the fridge.
Celestia teleported straight into the treehouse. Everypony stood to attention, even Rarity, who had begun to grow tired of fainting.
“What happened here?” asked Celestia with calm befitting a princess.
The five mares looked at each other, the same unspoken question looming in their heads.
“Well, now that Twilight’s not here, I should be the one to answer,” declared Rainbow Dash.
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Actually, Ah’m the most levelheaded one here.”
“Well,” added Rarity, “if it were a contest of brawn, it would be one of you two. But conversing with princesses is a much softer skill.”
Pinkie bounced around, saying nothing.
Fluttershy walked up to Princess Celestia and said, “Twilight’s gone.”
Celestia smiled proudly. “I’m glad you’ve all come to terms with Twilight’s passing so quickly,” she said. “And here I thought you all needed a friendship lesson on dealing with the loss of a friend. But I suppose we may instead turn to the necessary task of divvying up Twilight’s kingdom.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “Twilight has a kingdom?”
“No, silly,” laughed Pinkie, “Twilight’s Kingdom isn’t until next season.”
“Regardless,” continued Celestia, “I am required, by law, to give land to anypony who has saved Equestria. And Twilight has saved Equestria many, many times.” She hissed the words ‘by law’ with obvious distaste.
Spike returned from the kitchen, a glass bowl of ice cream in his hands. “Sweet.”
“And since Twilight is currently dead—”
The ice cream bowl shattered on the ground. “She’s dead?” Spike exclaimed.
“Yes,” answered Celestia. “Did you all not know that?”
She received six head shakes in response.
Celestia furrowed her eyebrows. “Why is nopony but Spike concerned?”
“Well,” said Rainbow Dash, “If I know Twilight, she’s not gonna let something silly like being dead stop her.”
Right on cue, an angry purple mare flashed into the room, with a flaming mane and newly grown wings. She cackled maniacally. “Finally! Thought you could leave me for dead, did you? Thought only an alicorn could escape that hell, huh? Well I became an alicorn and I came back! Now I shall finally exact my reven—Spike, is that an entire bowl of ice cream I see?”
Spike’s eyes shifted nervously. “No?” he lied.
“The 1984 Foal Protection Act against cruel corporal punishment does not explicitly apply to drakes.”
“Okay, okay, it is!” confessed Spike, sobbing. “I’m sorry!”
“I’ll deal with your punishment later,” said Twilight. She turned to Celestia. “Right now, I got some white pony princess ass to kick.”
And then Twilight kicked Celestia’s ass and saved Equestria. Again.
Author's Note
Overused idea, but this is my first time writing about ponies ever, so cut me some slack.
