"Anon... should we be doing this in public?" Celestia says, a blush beginning to creep along her muzzle.
"Why not?" you reply, pretending not to notice the reactions of the other ponies around you both. In the corner of your eye, you see a pony collapse to the ground as if in shock, faintly murmuring the word, "L-Lewd..." Your mouth twitches into a slight smirk as you begin rubbing with one finger and Celestia's blush deepens.
"Well, it is just..." she trails off, clearly trying to ignore your efforts, then her voice drops to a whisper, "We ponies usually do this sort of thing in private!"
You let out a low chuckle and press a little more firmly, earning a little squeak from her. "If you want me to stop, just say the word." You wait a brief moment, then chuckle again, "That's what I thought."
Your fingers begin to move in earnest and she gasps at the sensation, staring down at your hands as if in awe of their ability. Magic just couldn't compare to your raw manual dexterity, it seemed.
Suddenly, you hear the distinctive click of a camera as somepony catches your debauchery on film for all of Equestria to see, and that finally proves too much for the Princess. She yanks her hoof from your grasp and shoves both forelegs beneath the table, looking away with an awkward half smile that she couldn't quite suppress.
With a huge grin you say, "Ever had a hoof massage like that before?"
She snorts softly, mutters a reluctant, "No, I have not..." then turns to you sharply, her muzzle set in a stern line, though you see a twinkle in her eyes betraying her inner mirth. "But really, Anon, here? What if the waiter had trotted up? And everypony saw us!"
You wave a hand and lean back in your chair with a scoff, "Ahh, they'll be fine. You ponies are so touchy-feely, what makes hooves so special? Let's be a trendsetter. Maybe we could even get ponies to hold hooves in public!"
At these words, somepony lets out a dramatic gasp and sigh behind you. Celestia's muzzle twitches upward.
"Oh, now look what you've done," she says with a tsk, leaning slightly in her seat so she can see the poor mare behind you. With a gentle wave of her magic, she helps the mare back to her hooves, who looks stunned by such personal attention from Princess Celestia. After a furtive glance in your direction, she turns tail and gallops away.
"Excuse me, Princess?"
You both turn back to see the waiter pony, a brown and blue earth pony stallion in a crisp looking purple sweater vest, standing patiently beside the table, wine menu in hoof.
"Oh dear! I am sorry, but I have not even looked at the menu yet!" Celestia grabs the menu off the table in the golden glow of her magic and begins hastily scanning the pages, muzzle moving silently.
"If I may, Princess," the waiter pony says gently, interrupting her hurried reading, "The sunflower salad is quite popular, and I dare say fitting for the occasion."
Celestia glances back at her cutie mark and lets out a bright peal of laughter, "So it is! Make it so, my friend."
The waiter pony turns to you, his manner remaining just as respectful as it had been with the Princess, "And for you, my good sir?"
"Uh, the grapeleaf wrap. No daffodils or dandelions, and extra mushrooms, aight?"
It hadn't taken long to realize you needed to read the ingredients list carefully here--damn near all the food in this land had flowers or hay or grass or something of the sort mixed in.
"Of course, sir," he takes the menu with a small nod of his head, then says, "and would you like a refill for your tea?"
"Oh, nah, I'm good for now."
With another small nod, the waiter fades into the background and you turn back to Celestia. She is staring at you with an amused smirk and you raise a questioning eyebrow at her.
"It is just," she waves a hoof in the general direction the waiter had gone, "You are so casual, even though they are so formal. It is funny to me. After so long as a princess, I find it difficult to 'turn off' my formalities, so to speak."
"Ah, we'll get you there. Look at you, you're already sitting casually at a café table like anypony else instead of cooped up at that stuffy old giant table in your grand hall. Soon I'll have you spitting and swearing like a sailor!"
"Oh!" She says, bringing a hoof to her snout with a naughty giggle, "We needn't go quite that far, I think."
You wave your hand nonchalantly, "Well let's start small then. How about relaxing a bit when you're talking to me?"
"How do you mean?" she asks, looking puzzled.
"Oh, you know, just stop being all hoity-toity proper-like when you talk and take shortcuts, speak your mind... use run on sentences sometimes so you ramble a bit and ponies start to wonder when you'll finish, but then you just keep going and they roll their eyes so you give them a wink as if to say, 'I'm just playing around,' and then you just keep going, throwing words out that mean nothing, talking in circles without saying anything, wondering when somepony will make you stop, but they don't, so you still just keep going, and--"
"Very well!" she finally exclaims with a snort, "You have made your point. I suppose I can try that, at the very least."
You roll your eyes with mock exasperation, "Well, try again, 'cause that sounded official as fuck. Try repeating what you just said, but relaxed."
"Er..." Her ears fold back and she quirks her muzzle to one side as she thinks it over. "Okay! You've made your point. I... guess I can at least try that."
You raise your eyebrows, "Hey, not bad! See, you can do it."
"Well," she says shyly, "Only because it is you."
"And what makes me so special?" you say teasingly.
The princess snorts, "You know perfectly well."
"I actually don't."
"Really?"
"Really."
Celestia stares at you for a moment. Then, as a blush begins to creep along her muzzle, she averts her gaze. You patiently wait for a moment, but just as you consider pressing the issue, she says, "It is because you are not a pony, obviously."
You frown, "Ah, yes. Obviously," then raise an eyebrow and add, "And why does that matter?"
She lets out another little snort and her ear twitches as if bothered by a fly.
"Because that means you did not grow up under Equestrian rule."
"Ah."
There is a brief moment of silence, then you awkwardly rub the back of your neck, saying, "I... still don't understand. Why does that matter?"
She closes her eyes and lets out a long and suffering sigh before responding.
"Anon, do you have any idea what it is like to not just be a mere ruler, but to be likened to a god? My sister and I... we are worshiped, our names are revered, our very presence a cause for celebration. Indeed, it is a wonder we are not being showered with adoration even now."
"But, surely your castle staff or the nobles of the castle feel closer to equals, right?"
She shakes her head sadly and when she looks up at you again, her eyes are sunken and tired, "No, Anon. We are not equals. We are not even close. I am an alicorn. I have the strength of the earth, wings for the sky, and a horn born of magic. And I am old, Anon. Older than you can imagine."
Her gaze drifts away upward and takes on a wistful quality. "I have seen so many ponies come and go, it becomes... monotonous. Every pony I see reminds me of another who has been dead longer than you have been alive. Every interaction feels like a copy of another. Every problem is just another repetition of the same problems I've faced a dozen times before." Her eyes slowly close. "It is wearisome."
Then her gaze returns to you and it is as though a darkness has lifted from her face, her eyes growing brighter and her expression light and joyful once again. "But you, you are different, Anon. You are not like any being I have known before. And furthermore, you were not raised to praise your princess, to worship us as gods, to kiss the very dirt we tread upon. You are relaxed and casual, and you speak your mind honestly. You show me respect, yes, but otherwise treat me as... as just another pony." She gives you a beautiful smile and adds, "That is very precious to me."
You don't respond. Instead you stare at her, incredulous, disbelieving the words you are hearing.
Her eyes suddenly widen with realization. "O-Oh, but please, do not treat me any differently now! I do not wish for any change. I am quite happy with you and the way you treat me."
You let out a breath and rub your forehead with one hand. "So you're... what, ancient? Immortal?"
Her voice takes on an almost desperate tone, "In a sense, yes, but please Anon, do not let that alter your opinion of me, I beg you. You cannot fathom how much I have relished our time together."
You bring your other arm up and rest your head in your hands, elbows on the table, realization slowly penetrating your disbelieving mind. You're sitting with an immortal goddess, a supreme being with probably more power than you can even imagine. And you're just casually hanging out. Like friends.
"Anon..." she pleads, almost a whimper.
She IS your friend. In fact, she is one of your only friends, and now, you realize, the one you care for the most. Not because you know now that she's powerful, but... you find that you like her more than any other pony.
Your mind made up, you grit your teeth and steel runs down your spine. You straighten, and Celestia does as well. Her expression is anxious; your own calm and determined. Then you crack a wry smirk.
"Ah, you can't be that old. Why, you don't look a day over a thousand!"
She blinks in surprise, then her face illuminates with a radiant smile, her eyes glistening in the sunlight.
"Th-That's right! I'm only a thousand, and d-don't you dare ask my sister to confirm it!"
You both laugh and fall into a comfortable silence, watching the ponies around you try to act normal around their Princess.
"Thank you," Celestia whispers. You merely smile in response.
The waiter returns a few moments later, expertly holding both plates on one extended foreleg. He somehow shuffles them both onto the table without you really seeing how he does it, then he bows to both of you and disappears without another word.
Celestia grins, "See what I mean? I doubt he bows to any other customers."
"I 'unno," you say around the food you've already stuffed into your gullet, "Dis pace is awful fancy."
She brings a hoof to her mouth and giggles awkwardly, "Okay, perhaps you are... er, maybe you're right."
You give her a thumbs up in the middle of shoving more food into your face, causing her to giggle again, then she spears some salad on her fork and delicately floats it to her mouth. You notice somepony off to the side gesture in your direction with a sour expression, and you hurriedly cover your mouth as you stifle a laugh.
"What is funny?" she asks, after giving you a moment to swallow.
"I think--" you burp abruptly and continue without hesitation, much to Celestia's amusement, "I think the other patrons disapprove of my eating habits."
She whinnies, "Well fie on them! You are my guest and you can eat however you like."
You grin at her as thanks and immediately stuff your face again.
After eating quietly for some time, Celestia floats her fork over in your direction and says, “Would you like to try a bite of my salad, Anon?"
You shrug and reach for the fork, but it dances out of reach then glides closer to your mouth, Celestia smiling playfully in the background. Surprised and a bit embarrassed, you open your mouth and let the fork float inside. The salad tastes nice at first, but then you gag on the cloying taste of the raw flower.
"Oh, I forgot! H-Here..." and she floats a napkin over to your mouth so you can spit out your mouthful. Almost immediately the fork returns with another bite.
"I made sure this one has no hay or flowers for you."
Feeling more than a little embarrassed now, you let her feed you again. True to her word, this time it is edible; more than edible, it is delicious.
"Wow," you say around your mouthful, "That's one of the best salads I've ever tasted."
"Oh, you have salad back home, too?" She asks politely.
You swallow before replying, "Well yeah, I mean it's just veggies thrown together in a bowl. Anyone can do it. But this, though... I don't know how to describe it. It tastes more refined, I guess. More 'real' in a sense."
Celestia goes quiet at that and looks thoughtfully down at her plate.
Eventually, the waiter pony retrieves your mostly empty plates and says to Celestia, "And would you like some dessert, Princess? Perhaps a pie or an eclair?"
She gasps and her eyes go wide, "You have ECLAIRS!?"
The waiter takes an involuntary step back, then nods. Celestia immediately thumps the table with a hoof and shouts, "Bring me ten! No, a DOZEN!"
"Y-Yes Princess! Right away!"
You burst out laughing as the waiter canters away. Celestia looks sheepishly back at you and quietly adds, "I, um... I really like eclairs."
Mere seconds later, it seems, the somewhat out of breath waiter returns with a platter piled high with eclairs of all colors. Celestia lifts one in her magic before he has even placed them on the table and is nearly finished with it before he stutters a farewell--which she ignores--and backs away.
As she floats a second toward her mouth, you reach a hand out toward the platter. Celestia abruptly stops and glares at you, a dark and ominous expression on her face. The back of your neck prickles and you freeze, eyes going wide.
She blinks, shakes her head, and smiles apologetically.
"Sorry, old habit. Please, enjoy. It is my treat."
Somewhat warily now, you slowly pick up an eclair with blue filling. She watches as you lift it to your mouth, following it with her gaze. When you take a small bite, she licks her lips. You snort a laugh and say, "Oh for goodness sake, Tia, eat your own."
She looks surprised for a moment, then sheepishly takes a somewhat smaller bite of her own.
You are halfway through your own delicious blueberry eclair when she abruptly says, "Only my sister calls me Tia."
Startled, you look up at her and open your mouth to apologize, but she continues, "But I think I like when you say it, too."
Your mouth hangs open for a moment, then snaps shut. You feel your cheeks go warm and you avert your gaze, stuffing some eclair in your mouth.
"Why Anon, I didn't know you could blush."
"I usually don't..."
"Hmm," she hums thoughtfully, then chomps half an eclair in one bite.
By the time you have finished your eclair, there are only three left. You reach for another, but Celestia preempts you and floats one into your hand.
"The other two are flowery, but this one should be strawberry," she says with a too-casual manner.
You look down at the eclair then back up at her, "Are you sure you don't want it?"
She smiles and picks up one of the remaining two. "Oh I do, but I want you to have it more."
You chuckle and say, "Considering how much you love eclairs, you must really want me to have it."
"Yes," she says softly, "I do."
Something in her voice makes you go quiet. You taste a bit of the eclair she gave you and it was indeed strawberry--and the best tasting strawberries you've ever had, at that. You let out a little moan of pleasure and Celestia smiles contentedly to herself.
As she lifts the last eclair from the platter, the waiter appears with perfect timing to whisk it away, reappearing moments later with a small slip of paper. He hands this to you, but Celestia snatches it in her magic, then stares at it incredulously.
"What? But my dear pony, this is far too little!"
The waiter looks surprised, but regains his composure quickly. "Princess please, we cannot possibly charge you."
"No no no, this won't do at all," Celestia says with a shake of her head, "You simply must give me the full bill!"
"Princess, I must insist. It is our honor," and with a low bow, he backs away and turns to another table.
Celestia turns to you with a sigh. "Oh, these silly little ponies. This is surely not even half of what our bill should have been. Why, I think they have only charged for your food alone!"
"It's okay, I can pay for it."
"Oh, I don't doubt it, but that is not the issue!" She shakes her head stubbornly, "I refuse to rob these kind ponies of their service, especially after... well, demanding all those eclairs. That must have been most of their daily stock, surely!"
She nods decisively. "Well, so be it: if they refuse to tell me the bill, I will simply have to tip something outrageous to compensate."
"Something outrageous?"
"Oh yes," she says with a gleam in her eye, "I believe one hundred bits should be quite enough."
You blink in surprise, then slowly lean back in your chair, letting out a puff of air. You'd never even seen a hundred-bit coin before, nevermind simply given one of them away.
"What? Do you think I should give them more?"
"N-No, that's plenty."
"Two hundred it is, then."
You sputter incredulously, then shake your head with a low laugh.
"You're gonna give that poor waiter a heart attack."
She grins wickedly. "Then serve him right for not treating me like any other patron!" Then her eyes widen and she covers her muzzle with a hoof. "Oh dear, I am sorry. No, of course I don't want that. Please do not think I want him to suffer, dear Anon."
You roll your eyes, "I knew you were joking, Tia."
She hesitates, then smiles endearingly at you, "Yes, I quite like that. Anyway, we should be going before the waiter discovers our duplicity."
The two of you hop up and quickly leave the patio, your long legs only just keeping up with her hurried trotting. Sure enough, only seconds later there is a shocked exclamation behind you. Celestia giggles and breaks into a canter, forcing you to jog as the waiter hollers after you both.
You whip around the corner and Celestia slows to a walk, still giggling. You come up short beside her and let out a laugh of your own.
"Well, if he had a heart attack, at least he can afford the treatment now!"
"Indeed!" she says with a wide grin, "And I say it was worth every bit."
You both begin walking forward and Celestia looks around, saying, "So... where is your home?"
You grin and gesture over your shoulder. "Back that way, past the café."
"Oh dear!" She exclaims, "We cannot go back that way now!"
"No, I think not."
"Well, um... hmm. Would you perhaps like to come visit the castle?"
You smirk and say, "Oh? First date and I already get to see the royal bedchambers?"
"Eep!" She bats at you with a wing. "I did not mean it like that, you naughty thing."
You bark a short laugh, then look up at the castle with a sigh. "Well, as much as I'd like to take you up on that offer, it's a little far to walk."
Celestia waves a wing dismissively, "Nonsense, I'll simply teleport us there!"
"Ohhh no you don't," you exclaim, backing away hurriedly. "Twilight did that to me once and I spent the rest of the night trying not to fall over or vomit. Messed up my inner ear or something real bad."
"Ah, yes," she says sadly, "That can happen to some ponies... and humans, it seems."
The two of you stare up at the castle for a moment, then Celestia nods to herself and turns to you, "Well, no matter. We have another form of transport," and she turns sidelong and lowers herself to the ground.
You furrow your brows in confusion and she rolls her eyes, then gestures at her back with her snout. "Well? Come on then, up you get."
"W-What?" You sputter, realization hitting you like a brick. "No, no way. That'd be, like... sacrilege or something, wouldn't it?"
She laughs, "Of course not! Why, I used to give earth pony and unicorn foals little rides all the time. It has been too long since I've done so, in fact. Anyway, come on!"
Her horn glows and you feel the distinctive tingle of magic envelop your hand and pull you toward her. You take an uncertain step forward, then another, then you stop and look down at her.
"Are you sure--"
"Yes!" She says, exasperated, "My goodness, you'd think I was offering you the crown."
Chuckling despite yourself, you take another step, lifting a leg over her shoulders and down just in front of her wing. She immediately stands up and lifts you off the ground, stretching her wings out to either side.
Unable to help yourself, you grin and say, "You just couldn't wait to get between my legs, huh?"
She turns a baleful eye on you and says in a husky voice, "You couldn't handle me, human." Then she rears up and, with a powerful sweep of her wings, lurches into the sky.
"WhoaaaaAAAAAAA!"
You immediately start to slip on her back and scramble for something to grab. Your hands pass straight through her ethereal mane to slap uselessly against her neck. Then your knees hook around her wings as your butt settles into a convenient little divot in her back, and abruptly you feel much more secure. Her wings press powerfully downward again and you lean into the wind as she accelerates upward.
You wrap your arms around her neck to secure yourself better and she smiles back at you, her eye only inches from your face. Then she straightens and surges forward, accelerating with every beat of her broad wings. You look down at the ground already far below you, but you realize you feel no fear; you trust Celestia completely to keep you safe. Instead you only marvel at the sense of freedom and unparalleled strength as she courses upward faster and faster, the wind rushing in your ears now. Feeling exhilarated, you release her neck and raise your arms above your head.
"WOOOOOO! YEAH!"
She tosses her head and lets out a loud whinny in response, then stretches her hooves out before her as she approaches the broad cloud layer. With an odd sort of cushy impact, she punches through the cloud and it puffs out in a soft explosion of white.
You are abruptly blinded by a flash of orange and instinctively raise your hand to shield your eyes against the sunlight. The wind lessens to a soft breeze as Celestia carefully slows to a halt.
You lower your hand and gasp.
Above you is the majestic orange and red of the early dusk sunset, so rich and colorful it hardly seems real, and below you is an endless sea of roiling masses of cloud, enormous pillars of white interrupting the broad expanse stretching out as far as you can see, slowly shifting, undulating, never repeating the same pattern twice. The gentle whoosh of beating wings is the only sound within that vast space.
Celestia bobs gently for a moment as you take in the scenery, then she angles her wings and glides down to the top of a nearby cloud. Her hooves sink slowly into the white fluff, then, seeming to find purchase on something you cannot see, she comes to a halt, slowly folds her wings, and lays down among the white.
"W-What?"
You reach down and try to grab the white fluff, but your hand passes through without resistance--it is only mist.
Celestia giggles, then says in a quiet voice, "I had hoped I would be the first to show you."
"Show me...?"
"Pegasi can walk on clouds, Anon. They are like fluffy cotton, soft and yielding, but firm after some compression. They can even be manipulated, crafted into shapes."
She reaches over with a wing to scoop up some white material, rolls it around a bit to form a ball, then grins and tosses it lightly at you. You flinch reflexively, but the ball simply dissipates against your face, leaving you cool and slightly damp. Her touch makes it look so solid, but to you it is only fog.
"Incredible..." You look all around at the foreign and oddly beautiful landscape before you, "It's so... peaceful."
"Indeed. Even after all these years, I still find such tranquility up here. There is nothing like it. I understand completely why the pegasi made their city in the clouds."
"...Wait, what?"
"Cloudsdale! Have you not heard of it?"
You shake your head, "I'd heard the name, but didn't know what it was. You're telling me they have a whole city in the clouds?"
"Yes, indeed! The weather factory is there, and that is where they produce rain and rainbows alike. It is quite beautiful. I must take you there someday."
"I would like that," you say wistfully.
She smiles at that, then murmurs, "Here, let us relax for a time. I do not wish to return to civilization just yet."
She lifts her wings to form a sort of backrest and you cautiously lean back onto it.
"But won't this get tiring for you?"
"Worry not, Anon. I have the strength of earth ponies; it will not let me tire so easily."
Reassured, you rest your weight against her wings and find them to be supremely comfortable, pressing into the curve of your back and neck, cushioning your weight perfectly.
The two of you rest there in companionable silence, watching the clouds slowly undulate around you. The scene around you slowly turns red, then purple, then the sky begins to grow dark.
"...Anon?"
Celestia's gentle voice rouses you from your dozing and you yawn hugely.
"Hey, Tia... man, how long have we been up here?"
"Long enough," she says with a tender smile, "It is time we return to society, I think."
You sit up as she stretches her wings out again, then flaps them gently to help her rise to her hooves. After a brief pause while you stretch, she turns back to look at you.
"Are you ready?"
You chuckle, "Last time you didn't ask me."
She giggles in response, then spreads her wings wide.
"Last time we did not dive."
"We--what?"
She does a little hop, then punches straight down through the cloud and your stomach lurches as you begin to free fall.
"Hnnnng!"
"Lean forward, Anon, hold my neck as before!"
You follow her command, then are forced to press even closer to her as the wind rapidly accelerates around you, far faster than it did during ascent. You peek around her neck, squinting against the rushing air, and see the castle already approaching at an intimidating speed. You make an involuntary noise and Celestia shouts something in response, but the wind rips it away before you can make out the words.
Then your legs feel a subtle shift in her wings as she begins to angle out of the dive and you are abruptly shoved heavily into Celestia's back. You let out a groan as you fight against the increased weight pressing you into her. Turning your head, you see her wings wiggling, shifting, almost vibrating against the currents, constantly fighting to keep the two of you straight and true. Your respect increases as you realize not only the strength but also the precision required to do what she is doing now.
Ever so slowly, Celestia pulls up into level flight, then tilts into a gentle spiral, bleeding off speed. As soon as the wind dies down enough to hear each other, Celestia turns her head and gleefully asks, "Was that not fun? I love diving!"
You rub her neck appreciatively, surprised to find yourself panting. "It was exhilarating! I was watching your wings... it must be very difficult to react so rapidly to the changing air currents."
"Oh, it is not so bad," she says demurely, "It is mostly instinct. And thankfully so, as even a small mistake at those speeds could instantly rip my wing back and dislocate the shoulder, leaving me falling like a stone, helpless against gravity."
At your horrified expression, she winks and adds, "Or at least, a pegasus would be helpless. I could use any number of magical spells to protect us."
"Oh. Right. Pegasus AND unicorn."
"And earth pony too," she adds smugly.
"Yes, and earth pony. You've said that several times now."
"Well, it is less obvious, is it not?" She shrugs her shoulders mid-flight, unsettling your position for a brief moment, "Everypony can see my wings and horn, but it is harder to notice my toned muscles."
You glance over your shoulder at her back and rump and now see the thick cords of muscle holding her hind legs aloft as she glides smoothly downward. It is a surprisingly shapely rear end.
"But once you notice them," you add, "It's hard to stop noticing them."
She lets out an indignant whinny and grabs your chin in her tingling magic, pulling your gaze forward again.
"Whaaat? I was just respecting your, uh, your muscles!"
She snorts and flicks an ear, but you can see the blush creeping up her muzzle. You decide to drop the topic for now.
Finally, as you approach one of the numerous castle balconies, your face is almost slammed into her neck as she flares her wings for a sudden precision stop, her dainty hooves making only a gentle clicking sound as she alights softly upon the tiled floor.
You slip sideways off her back and rest a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you, truly. I loved every second of that and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate what you did."
She blushes and waves a hoof nonchalantly. "Oh, it was my pleasure, really. A gift for the good times you have shown me thus far."
"Tia!"
Her ears flatten as the balcony door is flung open in a burst of indigo magic and Princess Luna steps out.
"And where exactly have you been? Are you not aware that the castle guard awaits your inspection still? They have been waiting upon the courtyard now for--"
She breaks off suddenly as she walks around Celestia and notices you standing beside her.
"Who--what is...?"
"Luna, meet Anon, the new creature I was telling you about. Anon, meet my sister, who you have already heard so much about."
You give her an awkward smile and a shaky bow. You'd hoped to be more graceful when you met her, but her ominous glare was quite unsettling.
"I see," Luna says coldly.
"Uh, hello Princess Luna."
She ignores your greeting and turns back to Celestia. "So am I to understand, then, that you have been shirking your duties by cavorting off with this human for the past half day?"
Celestia rolls her eyes. "Oh do relax, Lulu. There was nothing pressing today and you know as well as I that the royal guard is thoroughly enjoying their unexpected break time brought about by my tardiness."
Luna lets out a snort, then looks at you again. "And you, human, what is your purpose here?"
"Uh, my purpose?"
"What do you intend by coming here?"
You shrug, not really knowing what she is getting at. "I dunno, Tia just invited me here."
Her eyes flash at your use of her nickname, but she doesn't comment on it. Instead she glares at Celestia, snorts again, and walks stiffly back inside.
"Do not dally with the human, sister! I expect you in the courtyard post haste."
Celestia sighs and turns to you as the balcony door swings shut. "Don't mind her, please. She is always quite grumpy this early in the evening. She'll be much kinder in an hour or so."
You rub your neck awkwardly. "Jeez, I hope so. She seems to hate me so far."
"Oh no, not at all," Celestia says hurriedly. "She's like that with everypony at first. She's had some, ah... trouble re-adjusting after returning from her imprisonment on the moon. Once she's woken up fully and has gotten to know you, she'll be much more friendly, I'm sure of it."
You grin abruptly. "Oh hey! After hearing your sister, I can see now you're talking way more casually."
Celestia looks surprised. "Oh, am I? I was not trying to."
"Must just be from hanging out with me, I guess."
"Yes, I suppose so."
You both stand there in an awkward silence for a moment.
"Well, um..." Celestia hesitates, "This actually IS my bedchambers, but... well, there is no other way except to fly down, so I suppose... would you like to come inside?"
Suddenly flustered despite your cocky attitude earlier, you resist the urge to gulp and simply say, "Uh, okay."
Celestia walks through the balcony door and you follow her into what had to be the most complex and thoroughly decorated room you have ever seen. Everything was colored in gold and scarlet, with accents of yellow, orange, white, pink, or mint spread throughout the room.
Your eyes are drawn to the bed, as the largest and most ornate object in an already large and ornate room. It was a broad circular expanse of white fluffy cushions, with pink blankets and lavender pillows framed by deep scarlet curtains which hung gracefully from a mahogany frame inlaid with intricate golden carvings.
Without thinking, you approach the bed to get a closer look at those carvings and find them to be abstract minimalist depictions of ponies in the middle of various activities. Considering how clearly each activity was portrayed, the economy of lines was impressive, and you let out a low whistle of appreciation.
"I take it you approve?" Celestia says quietly.
You look up at her and find her standing quite close, staring at you with a wry grin. With an involuntary step back, you nod your head.
"It is quite alright, Anon. Come, look."
She gestures with her snout and you step closer again, "This section here is my favorite. It depicts a pony casting an intricate spell, with swirls of magic all around her. It is very beautiful, is it not?"
You were not even looking at the carving, but rather staring at the side of her face, only inches from your own.
"Yeah... beautiful."
Your cheeks grow warm again, and you straighten awkwardly.
"So, uh, don't you have that inspection or something?"
"Oh, that," Celestia rolls her eyes, "That is nothing, a minor duty, hardly even necessary these days. I will be back in only a few minutes. Will you wait for me here, please?"
"Uh--"
"Wonderful. Do not worry, Anon, you cannot get into trouble for anything in here."
With that, she quickly trots out of the room and the door latches softly behind her, leaving you standing awkwardly in her bedroom.
You take a fresh look around and notice a fireplace set into the wall on the far side of the room. There is a wide, lush rug and a broad bench-like seat that rocks when you touch it. It had extremely soft cushioning on top and seemed to be well used. There was a small bookshelf nearby and you grab a book at random. It is simply titled, "Aurora," and has no summary, forcing you to read through the first page to get an idea of what it's about.
The story starts off in the middle of a seemingly peaceful scene when it abruptly turns dark and dramatic without any warning. Before you've even turned the page, you are already nervous for Aurora, the main character. As you continue, things only get more and more bleak, and you begin to wonder how there can be so much book left when Aurora is so surely doomed already. She makes a last desperate struggle, and--
"Enjoying yourself?"
You snap the book shut and look up at Celestia, startled. Laughter bubbles out of her and she lays a wingtip on your shoulder.
"My goodness, you look like a colt caught with his snout in the cookie jar! It is quite alright, Anon. I said you would not get in trouble for anything here, and certainly naught from my collection of novels. Did you not notice me enter?"
You shake your head, a sheepish smile spreading across your face.
"I guess I got a little caught up in the story."
She tilts her head to look at the title and her muzzle breaks into a broad grin.
"Why, Aurora! Oh, that is one of my dearest favorites!"
You move to return it to the bookshelf but feel her magic tug your hand back.
"No no, please take it. If you are so fascinated with it already, you will surely adore it, and I have so few reading partners these days. Even my dear Twilight is more concerned with spells and science than with fun little stories now. I would love to talk about it when you finish the book--it has such a wonderful ending."
You nod and sit back down on the bench-thing, laying the book in your lap. Unsure of what to do with yourself now, you simply stare idly at the fireplace. Celestia follows your gaze.
"Would you like me to have a fire started? It is going to be quite brisk tonight."
"Uh, just how long am I going to be staying?" You ask, surprised.
"Oh," she says casually, "As long as you wish, really. I would not make you leave."
"Oh okay, guess I live in the castle now," you say with a teasing smirk.
"If you would like."
There is a beat of silence.
"Hold up, you're serious?"
Celestia nods and says, "I would be most delighted to have you near at hoof. We could have all your possessions moved here by this time tomorrow evening. There is a spare room just down the hall."
You stare at her for a long moment, then lean forward, resting your elbows on your knees, and let out a long puff of air.
"That's... quite the offer, Princess."
She lowers her gaze and murmurs, "Just something to consider, that is all."
You straighten abruptly, "I mean, obviously I accept, but hoo boy, the implications are... whew."
Her head snaps up and her mouth hangs open for a second.
"You mean... you are not joking?"
You give her a wink, "How could I resist spending my days barging in on your formal meetings and making fart jokes around the nobles?"
"Oh!" She raises a hoof to her muzzle, "My goodness, you are full of surprises, my little human."
She hops to her hooves and trots over to a nearby cabinet.
"Why, I believe this calls for a celebration!"
Trotting back, she levitates two small glasses and a tall bottle of rainbow tinted liquid that almost seems to be buzzing faintly. She pours the two glasses and, to your amazement, the rainbow coloration remains intact, the colors refusing to mix together.
"Magic," you mutter thoughtfully.
"Mmm, yes, magic indeed. The most magical drink in Equestria, in fact: Zap Apple Cider. And it is made by earth ponies, no less. How ironic!" She giggles and swishes her glass gently as you look warily down at your own, then adds, "Normally it is in such high demand that it is consumed almost the instant it is made, but I had this bottle stashed away in secret and have been letting it age for moons. I do believe we are about to taste the oldest Zap Apple Cider anypony--or human--has ever drank."
You puff your cheeks, thoroughly impressed.
"Wow... is this really... I mean, is the occasion really worth all this?"
Celestia lays a wing across your shoulders.
"You are worth it, my friend. Come, let us drink to good times and lasting friendship."
She gently taps her glass against yours, then drains her cup in one gulp. You throw your own glass back and instantly your senses explode with sensations. Spicy, sweet, sour, bitter, savory, every flavor assaults your mouth all at once. Your nose fills with a heavenly scent that leaves you lightheaded. Your throat tingles so intensely it feels as though it is vibrating. Your vision swirls and colors become oversaturated. Even your ears react, pulsing with the suddenly intense beating of your heart.
You quickly lose all sense of perspective, time, position, awareness, the wonderful feeling intensifying further until your mind is utterly overwhelmed. You can hardly even think anymore, so powerful is the experience flowing throughout your body. It is as if lightning was poured down your throat then spread from your gut like fire in your veins, yet there was no pain, only pure bliss.
Slowly, ever so slowly, you come back to yourself. The sensations fade and you begin to regain a vague sense of the world around you. The first sensation your brain manages to interpret is that of warmth, then shortly after, softness. You open your eyes and the blurry sight of deep scarlet curtains fills your field of view. You turn your head, your neck seeming tense and slow to respond, and see a large white mass beside you. An eye appears in that mass, then a brilliant smile.
"Oh?" Her voice is dull and muffled, "Have you returned to me, finally? By the sun, you had quite the experience."
You open your mouth to ask what the hell happened.
"Buh... aaaaugh."
Your tongue and jaw seem to weigh a thousand pounds, turning your words into gibberish. Celestia giggles.
"Not quite all back yet, then. Do not fear, Anon, the effects are quite temporary. Rest now. You have burned a lot of energy tonight. Sleep well."
You don't need telling twice. Exhaustion was rapidly overtaking the bliss you had felt just a moment before, and it seems you merely blink your eyes when abruptly it is daylight again.
You find yourself covered with a translucent white dome of feathers. You look around and realize it is Celestia's wing draped over you like a protective cocoon, and the rest of her body is just beside you. Looking down, you realize she has laid a hoof protectively across your chest and tucked her hind legs up alongside your own legs.
Basically, Celestia is cuddling you.
You can hardly believe it at first, and you turn to stare at her snoozing face, amazed to find it so close to yours. She must have carried you to bed, then snuggled up beside you and slept all night like that. You slowly lift one arm, careful not to disturb the downy shrine above you, and gently lay your hand on her cheek.
Just like that, she is awake. Her eye opens as calmly as if she had been awake the entire time, and she hums contentedly deep in her chest.
Then you kiss her.
With deliberate slowness, giving her ample time to withdraw, you lean forward, stretch out your neck, close your eyes, and your lips gently touch her muzzle.
She inhales sharply and her entire body shudders, her wing rustling like leaves in the wind, then she breaks the kiss and pulls you closer still, wrapping you in a tight embrace.
"Oh Anon!" She cries, her voice choked with emotion, "I did not want to scare you off, but..." She sniffs and pulls back from the embrace, her face radiant with joy, "I have wished for this moment for so long!"
You realize you are reflecting her joyous grin right back at her, and now can't help but laugh. "You did not want to scare me off? I was scared you would not even give me the time of day!"
She giggles at an expression so apropos.
"My little human... Anon, I love you."
You hold her face before you in both hands, looking deep into her gaze.
"And I love you, Tia."
