Clandestine

by gloamish

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer, Sex
Length: 3538

Twilight and Starlight really could stand to be more careful, but they can't keep their hooves off each other whenever their friends leave the room.

Twilight has never been a subtle pony, and Starlight has never been a shy one. So when the strength of their friendship leads to some fooling around, it's kind of hard to hide it from their friends. Especially when the bottled-up hormones of two ponies who haven't had much experience with that kind of thing mix together. Despite that, Twilight feels a little annoyed when Starlight always manages to take their friends' interruptions in stride.

Rated T for These Ponies Know What Sex Is (but do it offscreen)

Published 2023-07-17 13:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-07-23 07:12:16 UTC

pancakes

"Oh, and everypony who's anypony in Canterlot will be there!" Rarity trilled, pausing to pop a bite of pancake doused in maple syrup in her mouth. Twilight munched happily away at her own stack, piled high with whipped cream and dusted with cinnamon and pecans. Starlight, who had clearly tuned out from the details of the latest fashion du jour, had nearly finished hers and was using the precious remaining scraps to swipe up what she could of the blackberry compote that pooled on her plate.

"Even, uh... Sapphire Shores?" Twilight hazarded, topping off her coffee with the last of the pot.

Rarity chuckled at her friend's habit of lumping celebrities together as if fame was a craft of its own. Luckily, she was correct. "Yes, darling. Even Sapphire. But I really must be on my way! I have bags to pack, after all. I'll see both of you in a few days to tell you everything."

"Can't wait," Starlight said, the flatness of her tone mostly masked by the mouthful of pancake she spoke around, fruity syrup smeared on her face.

"Tata!" With that, Rarity twirled out of the room like a summer breeze, headed back to Canterlot.

She liked Twilight's castle, certainly, but the green windows in the kitchen gave it a bit of a sickly aura, so she was happy to be trotting through the crystal halls, back to the bright blue of summer skies. However, just as she was at the doors, the sun so close at hoof, she remembered with a jolt the scarf she'd left on the table. She turned about face, hoping the other two hadn't gotten any breakfast on it. It was just such an exciting piece, she couldn't help but show it off a little early.

"Goodness, I'd forget my own horseshoes if they weren't nailed on! Twilight, could you pass me my scarf?" she called into the kitchen.

She trotted through the entryway and saw both of her friends' stares fixed on her, eyes wide. She glanced behind her, then around the kitchen for whatever was causing such terror, then back at them. Starlight had already schooled her expression into something bored with a near-unnoticeable curl of her lips, and Twilight looked worse than before. "Whatever's the matter, you two?"

"Oh, Twilight's just worried about you, is all," Starlight said soothingly, patting a hoof on one of Twilight's, which was braced on the table. "Are you feeling alright, Rarity? Forgetfulness is a symptom of heatstroke, and it's a bit hot today, especially coming here in that scarf."

Rarity laughed. "Oh, no, I'm quite fine. Just a little slip. You couldn't be more correct, however, heatstroke is a true danger this late into the summer! Twilight, could I trouble you for some water?"

"O— Oh, yeah, of course! Totally," Twilight responded, displaying her typical prowess at telekinesis as she bundled the scarf carefully, opened the fridge, and poured a glass of water from a pitcher within. Rarity sipped it gratefully, then stowed the scarf in her saddlebags.

She turned to go, but paused and clicked her tongue. "Twilight, there's some compote on your cheek." Twilight froze, no doubt mortified. Thankfully some of her princess lessons about decorum must have been sinking in. A napkin suspended in blue magic dabbed at the mark in question until Rarity was satisfied. "See you!" she called, trotting out into the sunny Ponyville day.

"... Do you think she put together that I didn't have berry compote on my pancakes?"

"You know how she is when a show's coming up. We could've done it on the table and she would've kept going on about sequins."

"Starlight!"

"What? You've got nothing to worry about. Nopony will find out about your dirty little secret."

"You know I don't think of you like that, Star..."

"Well you should start! It's hot."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of!"

"I'm your student! You're taking advantage of me."

"You graduated!"

"So did you! And that particular fantasy would still be scandalous, wouldn't it?"

"Princess Celestia is a thousand years older than me! And I'm nearly a decade younger than you!"

"Huh. I guess I never thought about that. Does that make me a cougar?"

"... Maybe..."

A snicker. "I was kidding about that little fantasy, Twilight. Do you have a thing for older mares after all?"

"Th— There's nothing wrong with having an appreciation for maturity! Like Rarity and her wines! It's a sign of refinement."

A slurp. "Still had some compote on your other cheek, Miss Refinement."

"And whose fault is that?" A yelp and splatter, the clatter of plates. Wood against crystal: a chair fallen over.

"Whipped cream armaments were outlawed in the Pinkie Conventions! She gave me a presentation and everything!"

"It'd be hard keeping you a secret if you dragged me before the tribunal, Glimmer." Another slurp.

"... I guess you could be pardoned. If you show me you're willing to be reformed, that is."

A giggle. "And how could I prove that? A comprehensive syllabus of friendship lessons?"

"We're a little past friendship lessons, here."

A wobbling note: "W— we're not friends?"

"No I mean we're— Of course we're friends! You're my best friend! I was being sexy!"

"By saying we're not friends?!"

"By saying that we're now firmly in the territory of lust lessons. And I think that makes me the teacher."

A snort. "Lust lessons? Seriously? I'll have to tell Cadence that you're encroaching on her territory. What lurid past have you hidden that makes you so qualified to be the Princess of Lust, hmm?"

"I've read books!!!"

"Oh! Well, clearly this is more your wheelhouse than poor illiterate Twilight Sparkle. I literally lived in a library, Glimmer."

"Ugh!! Shut up!"

"Oh? Are you starting the lesson? Has the school bell rung?"

"Ugh!!!!"

"Shall I leave an apple on your de— mmph!"

A groan of annoyance, or a moan of delight, muffled by another's lips.

Wet almost-silence, a sucking pop.

"... Aaah, help! My teacher's taking advantage of me, a helpless foa— mmmm. Wait, do that again."

"Oh? Could the illustrious Twilight Sparkle still have something to learn after all?"

Author's Note

howdy! this one's kinda sloppy (and not just from the makeouts) but ive made my peace with it

i'm having a lot of trouble writing starlight, tbh. she's easily in my top 3 characters, but whenever i tackle her i'm torn between two wolves inside me

1) the starlight of our town, confident and domineering, reacts to friendship lessons like Limmy Steelandfeathers going "idunngeddit"

2) the starlight of the rest of the show, intelligent and incisive but often more prone to freakouts than twilight. basically traumatized by her past and unwilling to be put in any role of responsibility

i know these are just two halves of the same pony but the show didn't really do a great job of showing the gradation between the two - i kinda got whiplash from how fast they redeemed her. they even removed her cute lil terf bangs!!

anyway this is all just dialectics but i've never been great at that. this fic is definitely more of the first starlight, because i think in reaction to twilight she kind of balances out her freakouts. she doesn't like being the sole responsible one, but she LOVES being a supporting character - i guess she was kind of made to be twilight's foil, so it makes sense. i've got another fic cooking with her playing a prominent part, and it's definitely more of the second starlight, where she's grappling with what redemption means, and the confidence she had to leave behind as part of it.

but this fic isn't for any of that! it's for ponies kissing!! i'll probably add a couple more chapters before i wrap it.

books

Fluttershy ambled down the hallway of Twilight's castle, careful not to let her hooves ring too loudly on the crystal. Ponies were likely asleep — night had fallen a few hours ago. She'd meant to visit earlier, to pick up some guides on wildcats, but her duties that day had piled up on each other, several long-due appointments hitting her all at once. Now, she just wanted to curl up in bed with a good book, specifically one about a mammal family that wasn't endemic to the area but she'd always found cute.

Fortunately, Twilight had assured her that 'mi castle es su castle', a turn of phrase that likely would've qualified as an international incident if she wasn't several ciders deep at the time. She took it to mean that she was welcome to drop by whenever. Despite her light step, she was sure that Twilight was up this late anyway, likely in the same library she was headed towards.

"... need to relax. And I'm happy to help." The voice of Starlight, Twilight's student, floated down the hallway.

Her mentor's worried tone followed in its wake. "Ooooh, but now I can't stop thinking... What if a filly wants to loan out a primer on dressmaking and it's the first step to finding her special talent?" She smiled as her hunch was confirmed. Starlight was probably trying and failing to get Twilight bundled off to bed, a burden all her friends had beared.

"What if a stallion needs a recipe to impress his special somepony, and their relationship falls apart without it?!" A private eyeroll was ventured, more of a glance to the sky. Knowing her, she was probably awash in fears of whatever librarian-seeking villain would be born of such a tragedy. Maybe she could try asking her to join her in meditation again — she was still a little hurt from how she reacted the first time, admittedly, but she knew it was just fear. One of the things she shared with her friend was a gnawing, ever-present anxiety, but where Fluttershy always attempted to let it wash over her, while Twilight pounced on it and tried to take it apart, only getting herself more tangled up in the process, like a cat with a ball of yarn.

As she walked into the room, she had just resolved to ask Twilight to meet her tomorrow morning in the fields for a second round of mindfulness. Then, her mind went blank, more than any meditation could hope to achieve. Her hunch was wrong, after all. The pinker of the two ponies had certainly been attempting to get the other to bed — just not to sleep. At some point, she must've given up and skipped to the part she was clearly enjoying.

"What if Fluttershy needs a guide on the plumage of cardinalidae?!" Twilight continued unabated, flinging a hoof toward the new arrival, who was standing frozen in the entrance with a prime example of cardinal coloration on her face. A few moments of silence went by.

Fluttershy gave a gasp. Twilight gave a yelp. Starlight failed to give much other than her "is this really that important, I'd like to get back to what I was doing" face (which she practically always wore, but it felt more pointed now with the 'what' being a 'who'.)

The pegasus stumbled back, stepping on her own tail and pitching herself hooves over head, rolling back through the entry and into the far wall of the hallway, apologizing along the way. "Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry! I should've knocked!" Not pausing to wait for an explanation, Fluttershy galloped down the crystal hallway, wildcats forgotten. Shaking off the wooziness after a few moments of headlong dashing, she span around and ran toward the exit instead of deeper into the castle.

"... Well, now that she's gone—"

"Get off!"

"I was working on that, and if you'd just—" A thump of pony flank on crystal. "Ow!"

The quick stomp of hooves, just short of a canter. "It's like you don't even care we got caught! What if it was Rainbow Dash? Half of Ponyville would know by now!"

"Oh, are we reneging on the dirty little secret thing?" A teasing voice. A second set of hoofsteps following the first, at a more sedate pace.

A quick clatter that any pony too quick on the verbal trigger would recognize as hooves reorienting while the target of a jibe whipped around.

A hollow where a retort should've sat.

"... Starlight, I know we're just fooling around, but..." A voice that didn't echo.

"... Twilight?"

"... I know we're just fooling around, but I—" Quick hoofsteps, closing the distance.

Silence.

"There's no 'just', I... I love sharing time with you... and sharing myself with you. I just want to—" Panting, accelerating in pace, then hurried words, risen to something frantic. "I was never curious before I met you! Everything was just a straight path to one goal and now, everything's all branched out, and it's overwhelming, but when you're with me, I just... I get so excited to explore it all. And I want to do it with you! And I'm sorry that that's weird, but—"

Silence again, blooming like a flower in moonlight.

Shared breaths. "I love you, Starlight."

The sound of a tear-choked smile, somehow, in the words "I love you too." A breath. "I'll... talk to Fluttershy. Honestly, she probably wants to forget what she saw as much as we want her to."

A huff. "No magic, Starlight."

"... Bad choice of words. I just mean she'll take any excuse I can give her." Tap tap tap. "I'll say I was checking you for ticks!"

"Veto! Veto!" Feathers swatting flank.

"How long, then? If we're... whatever we are, then..."

"Hmmmm... A week?" A giggle, sinister. "I want my dirty little secret for just a little longer."

A pleased gasp, and then two sets of hoofsteps, again, spaced apart. The second speeding up to match the first, then pausing. A shimmer of magic and a yelp, then peals of bright ringing laughter as they took off again, faster, racing to bed.

magics

"And now, Trixie the Great and Powerful and Redeemed and etcetera, will perform... the Vanishing Act!" The aforementioned Trixie reared onto her back hooves, cape billowing behind her. The ponies of Ponyville who had come to see her act applauded lightly, hooves stamping on grass in quiet approval. She grinned to herself, the usual warm assurance that came with a crowd focused on her flooding her body, with the added spice of knowing she had a few new tricks to show off.

Incorporating 'real' magic in her magic act had certainly made things confusing for Trixie to explain. Of course, the impressive part of her magic wasn't the magic itself — teleportation was a mid-level spell, requiring only a moderate amount of energy, a light scattering of glyphs, and a very clear idea of your target's destination. The work of magicians (even those who were also mages) was instead in misdirection. A gryphon's sleight of talon acts could be broken down to simple manipulation of the digits, but it was their composition and context which formed the act.

So: making a pony disappear? Foal's play. Not magic at all. Making a pony disappear without any of the flashes, sparkling, or 'poof' noises that typically signaled magic? Now that was magic. Jeez, why was magic even called magic, when magic was already called magic? It made Trixie's head spin. Okay, from here on, Trixie decided, proper magic would still be called magic, and the inferior, boring kind of magic would be called... blagic. She nodded to herself, glad to have cleared up her internal monologue a little.

Twilight looked up at the stage with a puzzled expression. She leaned over to Starlight. "Is standing totally silent while nodding to herself normally part of the act?" she whispered.

"Yeah," Starlight responded, "she does this." Despite that, Starlight hadn't taken her eyes off the stage, excitedly waiting for the act to begin in earnest.

"For this trick, I will need a volunteer from the audience!" The showmare's gaze roved across the ponies in attendance, before landing on Starlight Glimmer. This was planned, of course — how could she perform this trick without her faithful assistant? "You there!" She thrust a hoof out, meeting Starlight's eyes.

"Just one?" Starlight responded with a raised eyebrow, not getting up from her seat.

This was not part of the plan. Trixie scowled at her assistant and her incompatibility with plans. It was no wonder that she and Twilight didn't get along, the former always being dragged by the latter to bedrooms or pantries or supply closets to be delivered a firm talking-to. "One whole pony! Not half a pony, not a quarter-pony, one whole pony, vanished!"

"Oh I mean, sure, impressive, but... Vanishing two ponies at once, that'd really be something." The crowd ooo'd in anticipation.

Trixie's eye twitched. Refusing to let herself be upstaged, she blustered, "Very well! Tonight, you shall all bear witness to the Great and Powerful Trixie vanishing not one, but two ponies into thin air!" She wasn't going to let Starlight get one over on her. And just to ensure her 'friend' wouldn't get a chance to hit her with that trademark smug grin, she'd make this uncomfortable. "You! Purple pony!"

"Twilight," the purple pony said flatly. "We've dueled. Multiple times."

"You shall be my second volunteer!"

"I don't think you understand how volunteering works, Trixie."

"My name," Trixie growled, horn sparking, "is Trixie the Great and Powerful!"

Rolling her eyes, Twilight stood and, with a shimmer of her own horn, teleported onto the stage. A moment later, Starlight joined her in the same way (by teleporting, not rolling her eyes. Although Starlight's eye rolling was likely powerful enough to be classified as a form of blagic.)

Tentatively, then with growing enthusiasm, everypony began applauding, some even whistling at the incredible feat of vanishing two ponies into thin air. "No!" Trixie squealed at them, waving her forelegs in the air. "That wasn't the trick!! Teleportation is boring!" The applause died down and she grumbled, stomping over to a box the height and width of a single pony.

"My," she ground her teeth, "lovely assistants, please, step into this box." She opened the door, revealing a small space inside the depth of a single pony. Twilight and Starlight looked at each other, then back to the box, then back at each other, then yelped in unison as Trixie moved behind them and began shoving. They tumbled into the box in a tangle of hooves, only saved from falling out by Trixie slamming the door in their faces.

"Mares, gentlecolts, and ponies miscellaneous, teleportation is the simple act of being in one place, and then being in another place. Any among you are capable of that! Vanishing, however, involves a span of being nowhere at all, something nopony can manage! Except for Trixie, in her wisdom, her might, her lookoverthere!"

She thrust a hoof off stage right, the audience all whipping their heads around hard enough for a susurration of manes. With a flash, a sparkle, and a 'poof' noise, all covered by a well-timed smoke bomb, Twilight and Starlight vanished.

The muffled stampede of applause.

"Agh! Get your hoof out of my face!"

"Didn't know you were into that, Twilight." The audible sounds of kerfuffling and pony spit.

"Ugh. We're under the stage, I guess? I was worried, there."

"You doubt my teaching, teacher?"

"I doubt your student. Remember the first time she teleported something? We could've ended up in Tartarus."

"Why would Trixie be thinking of Tartarus?"

"It's where I think of when I picture Trixie." A muffled snort and giggle.

"Be nice, Twilight!"

"You're her friend! Tell her to be nice to me!"

"But it's so cute when she annoys you and your muzzle gets all scrunched up..." A growl. "Yeah, like that! And..." A whisper. "I think it's hot when you get jealous."

A scandalized gasp. "Well, do you think it's hot when I refuse to kiss you?"

"Noooo!! I set all this up so we could do makeouts! You have to reward me like a good teacher!"

"Manipulating Trixie isn't a class, Starlight." A snort. "If it was, it'd be in Friendship Kindergarten. I... shouldn't be getting jealous, anyway. I'm sorry."

"Pffft. I get jealous all the time! Remember when you went out on that overnight birdwatching trip with Fluttershy?"

"Not clearly, but I definitely remember how much attention you gave me after I came back..." A dreamy tone.

"Exactly! We're both bad ponies. Just for each other, so it's fine, right?"

"I don't know..."

"Awww, c'mon Twilight. I had a whole town! Is it so evil to want just one little pony all for myself??" An eep.

"Could you have found a better target for your possessiveness than the Princess of Friendship?" A snicker.

"I can't help myself. I'm a mare of ambitions." A hum of breath. "Now c'mere."

Finally, the familiar sound of sloppy pony makeouts.

All too soon, a shimmer of magic and coughs from the depths of a smoke-filled box. Gasps from the audience, though not those of impressed ponies.

Starlight and Trixie, in unison: "Ta-daaaaa!"

Author's Note

i love trixie. she's so stupid