The Pink Tax

by Velvet_Remedy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1005

Tax season is almost over, and Pinkie hasn't paid hers yet.

Tax season is almost over, and Pinkie hasn't paid hers yet.

Thanks to 6-D Pegasus for proofreading.

Entry into A Thousand Words Contest II.

Translated into Chinese by keezwus, available here.

Now with two readings, one done by StraightToThePointStudio, and one done by Pony&Wolf Productions.

Reviewed by PresentPerfect.

Published 2023-07-20 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-07-20 14:00:01 UTC

The Pink Tax

Starlight looks up from her desk as she hears somepony enter her room in a rush.

Pinkie frantically shuts the door. "Starlight, have you paid your taxes?"

Starlight asks, "No, what are you talking about?"

Pinkie walks over to Starlight's desk. "The Pink Tax."

"What is that?"

"It's a tax on pink ponies."

"That's ridiculous, there's no way that is real."

"It is real, and I'm not paying this year!"

"How are you going to do that?"

"I don't know yet."

"Why pink?"

"It's the most common color: coat, mane, tails, cutie mark, it's everywhere."

"That seems crazy, like putting a tax on being cute."

"Don't give them ideas! That would ruin Fluttershy."

As if on cue, Fluttershy entered Starlight's office.

Fluttershy asks, "Hello, is this where I pay my taxes?"

Pinkie says, "No, but you should skip paying with me!"

"I couldn't do that, I want to be a good citizen."

Starlight asks, "Doesn't it seem a bit colorist to single out pink?"

Fluttershy says, "Well, I guess so."

Pinkie exclaims, "Exactly."

Before anypony could speak, another pony entered the room, Twilight.

Pinkie asked, "Don't tell me you're here to pay the pink tax."

Twilight says, "I am, is this the right spot?"

"There's barely any pink on you."

"I only pay every three years, this year I was up."

Pinkie drops her head, face planting the desk.

Pinkie lifts her head. "I am not paying."

Twilight contests, "That's illegal."

"I'll find a way."

"Why don't you want to pay?"

Pinkie laments, "I've been paying my whole life, and it's not fair. One-hundred and fifty bits a year adds up."

"I guess I never questioned it because that was how things always were."

"Every three years probably makes it more forgettable."

"Yeah."

A fourth pony enters the room, Sweetie Drops. She says, "I'm here to pay my pink tax, this must be the right place."

Pinkie says annoyed, "Why is everypony okay with this?"

Everypony shrugged.

Pinkie says, "Join me, evade the pink tax, send them a message."

Nopony seemed to care.

Diamond Tiara enters the room amidst the silence.

Pinkie is outraged. "They're taxing children now! How can you stand for this?"

Diamond Tiara says, "So, this is the right place."

Pinkie asks, "Isn't your father the tax collector?"

"Yes, he's probably on his way now."

Pinkie sighs before the Cutie Mark Crusaders enter the room.

Pinkie asks, "Pink Tax?"

Sweetie Belle answers, "Yes, this is it, girls."

"How? I understand you, but Scootaloo and Applebloom, they're not pink!"

The two mentioned fillies show their cutie marks, pointing to the tiny pink spots.

Pinkie is in disbelief, asks, "Seriously? You have to pay for that?"

Applebloom says, "We figured it'd be best to pay, you know, rather be safe than sorry."

Scootaloo says, "Sweetie Belle says we should only have to pay like every six years, since we barely have any pink."

The room went silent as Pinkie looked around the room. "What about Mayor Mare, where is she? She has a pink mane."

Sweetie Belle spoke up, "I think she doesn't have to pay because she dyes her mane gray."

Pinkie bemoans, "That't not fair, you know how hard it would be to dye my entire coat, mane, and tail!"

Twilight ponders aloud, "I wonder if Shinning has to pay? He has a small pink star on his cutie mark."

Moments later, he walked in the room, along with Princess Cadence and Flurry Heart.

Twilight asks, "Do you all have to pay the tax too?"

Cadence answers, "Yes, it's nice to see you again."

Twilight and Cadence do their special dance.

Pinkie says, "I can't believe this, the princesses of love and friendship have to pay a tax for having pink on them."

Twilight just shrugs. "It's the law."

Pinkie asks, "Does Flurry Heart have to pay?"

Shinning Armor answers, "I believe so."

Pinkie drops her head on the desk in disbelief. "Who's next, Princess Celestia?"

It was, in fact, Celestia. She came into the room and the whole room bowed in her presence.

Pinkie's mouth hung open is shock.

Pinkie spoke, "No, no, no, no, no. There is no way you have to pay the pink tax."

Celestia spoke, "Ah, so this is the right place."

"This doesn't make any sense," Pinkie says.

Twilight asks, "Princess Celestia, why do you have to pay, isn't it your law?"

Celestia chuckles. "No, Princess Luna created the law."

Twilight asks, "Why?"

"Over a thousand years ago, Luna and I got into an argument over something silly, she decided to make a law to spite me."

Pinkie interjects, "Why haven't you removed it?"

Celestia laments, "I left it as a memento while she was gone."

Starlight interrupts, "So, let me get this straight, you left a law that taxes pink ponies for being pink, so you could remember your sister?"

Pinkie interjects, "For over a thousand years, I might add."

Celestia answers, "Yes, it was rather silly of me. I should have abolished it a long time ago. I'm sorry, my little ponies."

Pinkie asked, "Well, can you remove it now, princess?"

"I suppose I could. Since she's returned, there is no need for the law. I would have to wait till next year to remove it, though, this tax season has already begun. So, I'm afraid we will have to pay for one more year."

Pinkie sits in thought for a moment before a devious grin spread on her face. "Maybe not."

Filthy Rich opened the door to Starlight Glimmer's office, walking inside, he closes the door behind him.

Looking around the room, he finds a single pink alicorn sitting in the middle of the room.

"Pink Tax?" the pink alicorn asks in an annoyed tone.

"Yes, shouldn't there be more ponies?"

"They aren't pink anymore."

"How?"

"They all dyed their coats, mane, and tails."

"What about you?"

"I'm Princess Luna… they dyed me pink."

"Oh, well, let's see, mane, coat, tail, cutie mark, that'll be two-hundred bits, princess."