Rarity Learns Anthropology

by Cosmas-the-Explorer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rarity, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Lyra, Comedy
Length: 1282

Rarity is ashamed at the state of fashion. Nudism is all the rage. But Lyra, the local primate lover, shows Lyra that clothes are not worth giving up by showing those who wore them before.

Rarity, a rising fashion designer, who worked her whole life in the art of clothes, is disgruntled by the news of nudism popular from works like that of Trenderhoof.

She despairs but Lyra will show this entrepeneur that fashion will always be important. For long before the ponies adopted it. There were those who came before who had worn clothes not just as a luxury but as a requirement.

Note: This fic is crude and unedited. I've had this for months and I just felt like what the heck Im not making too much progress in other fanworks so why not just post this instead of being worried.

Its just a little one shot. I dont know if Ill follow this up or anything.

Published 2023-09-30 21:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-09-30 21:40:00 UTC

Chapter 1

It might have been a happy sunny afternoon for most of Ponyville, but not for Rarity. She was in a bad mood, annoyed while sitting on a bench by the road.

She was just reading her magazine about high culture. There were nice mentions of latest hat trends, celebrity gossip and of course other designer's fashion. Just a good time for her. But then when she turned to the next page, she saw something that truly enraged her.

Trenderhooves, the one she once loved and fell for, declared a war against clothes. In his own words:

"Look unto Ponyville! The land of hardworking yeoman farmers and shopkeepers! Do you see them with any clothes on? No! Why do we equines even need them? Our ancestors didn't have them. It makes us all snobbish and decadent."

Rarity then saw how Trenderhoof burnt his once beloved sweater. She didn't know what to think of him without that usual shirt. Was he really as handsome as she once thought?

But that wasn't the point. As the magazine pointed out, many in high society have decided to do away with their clothes. Some including Fancy Pants. Although Blueblood is a strong pro-clothing advocate which probably doesn't help fashion's case.

The white unicorn was fuming. But also worried. Would affect her fashion buisness.

"This is absolutely absurd!" She screamed from the bench she was on. "Are clothes truly outdated!?"

Everyone looked at her strangely but this time she didn't care. She just closed her eyes trying to regain her composure.

"Ha ha ha ha! And I thought only Pinkie made jokes that good!"

The grieving seamstress looked up to see a laughing green unicorn. Lyra Heartstrings.

Oh joy. Her. Rarity like many other residents of Ponyville knew this mare very well. She was always trying to get others to read her pamphlets presenting her various theories, though most would call them conspiracy theories. These included ideas like Nightmare Moon and Discord were the same pony, zombies being real and of course the existance of the stange naked apes known as humans.

Lyra was a nice mare and all but she was also a mouthful to talk with and was unshakable in her beliefs.

"Darling, I'm not in the mood for light conversation. Please let me have my peace." Rarity pleaded and turned away from the energetic mare. But as she was infamous for she refused to back down.

"Oh come on Rares! I just wanna talk to someone!" Lyra insisted. "I'm kind of lonely to be honest. Bon Bon is mad at me. I kinda ate all her lollipops for a client without realizing."

How surprising. Rarity thought to herself rolling her eyes.

"Don't you have your friends from the Truth Society to talk about... how Celestia is actually a kirin?"

Lyra shrugged that snide comment off. "Pfft, don't be silly. I already did an article on that. But even I get need a break with that. So I'm just taking a stroll when all of a sudden you yelled the silliest thing ever!" Lyra had a laughing fit. "Are you telling me clothes one of the prime signs of progress has become stale? That's the best!".

Rarity turned away even, this time simply saddened. "It's not me who thinks so, but others have their own ideas." Rarity said showing the green unicorn the dreaded article.

Lyra simply took magazine expecting to be entertained. Then her expression changed from eagerness to shock. She dropped the magazine.

"W-what? W-who would dare suggest such a notion?!" Lyra asked in rage.

Rarity explained to Lyra the whole story. And how times have changed.

"I knew there was a reason I moved out of that tacky city!" Lyra said. "Hmph, just because of some skinny four eyed dude wants to destroy one of the greatest activities ever! How were you even in love with him?"

Rarity turned away. "It doesn't matter. What matters is my way of life is over. Many ponies think clothes wre unnecessary due to fur. Some elites even want to sing or go to formal events in nothing."

If Rarity lost all will, Lyra was the opposite. She was filled with righteous fury.

"Well you know what?! We ponies don't appreciate the great invention of clothing! We ponies think we don't need it. If humans were around they would straighten that hipster." Lyra said now sitting on the bench in her usual human stance. "I mean humans have to wear clothes! They would be arrested otherwise! They have actual decency!"

Rarity like most ponies would usually try to redirect the conversation away from humans. But she had to admit in these troubled times, she was a little curious about these humans and how they are required to wear clothes.

"Lyra?" Rarity asked. "These humans you speak of. Did they... actually wear clothed 24/7 like you claimed?" Rarity asked against her better judgement.

Lyra's frown instantly turned into a smile.

"Yep. They sure did. It keeps em decent. And the best part is there are so many varieties of clothes. Here I have some illustrations in my notebook."

Lyra showed the fashionista her sketches. Rarity never knew Lyra had a skill for drawing just like Rarity. But even more so was the various garments she saw classified into different eras, classes, genders and other categories.

Lyra showed one older human male from the 19th century with a beard and suit and top hat. This style is still pretty popular with stallions today even if Rarity did find them a bit duller than female garments.

But either way Rarity was amazed at the different outfits and their customs and usage.

"My goodness, you would never see ponies with this much passion for fashion. Even I don't wear clothes 24/7!" Rarity said enthusiastically.

Rarity never thought she could be fascinated by these mythical hairless apes. But hearing about their exquisite fashion sense, even among their blue collar workers, fascinated her and gave her hope.

"Yep! And now you finally see my perspective!" Lyra said enthusiastically. "I've been trying to get people to see my perspective but they all dismiss as weird stuff," Lyra said in quotations. "They even have the gall to say all this stuff isn't necessary."

"Bah!" Rarity said in discust. "Unnecessary? What rubes! The clothes they wear. Cotton or goat, they are the foundation of pony life! If only Applejack behaved more like a human...." She said with discust.

"Same." Lyra concurred. "Most ponies don't seem to have that curosity that the humans had. One of them even said the earth goes around the sun. And was arrested for that! Now that's what I call guts. Bon Bon just tells me to shut up." Lyra said grumbling.

Rarity stood up. "We cannot let these humanes be forgotten. We must spread their wisdom knowledge upon us ponies. Especially to Trenderhoof."

Lyra smiled at this. "I thought you said you loved Trenderhoof."

"Screw that hipster! I am not a teen anymore. I form my own path just like those before us!" Rarity said with conviction. "Besides these mans as you call them look quite riveting in their... garments." She said eyeing Galileo's garment.

"Finally someone who thinks humans are hot!" Lyra said with triumph.

The green unicorn got out a pamphlet. "So you still resistant on joining?"

Rarity got up. "Sign me up darling. With this knowledge of humans, we shall begin a renaissance of humanism!"

"Yeah!"

And so Rarity joined Lyra's club. She knew she would have to be roped into Lyra's alien investigations or evidence of zombies, but as long as she could learn about the majestic race of man, she was all ready.