“Well, there were a number of creation myths in the old days but in modern times we’ve taken a more scientific approach to the matter. However—there’s still not a single absolutely certain answer. We’ve just exchanged the myths for theories. The theory most commonly accepted, and the one I subscribe too, is that before modern ponies there existed a more primitive race. A more primitive version of our species. And over time, as we developed and changed both physically and mentally we became smarter. And finally we at last discovered magic and became what we are today.”
“There are fossil records that partially support this although there are some unfortunate gaps in the record that so far cannot be explained.”
“Hm? Oh, um, sorry. Think of it this way—you know how a thousand years ago we didn’t have things like trains or skyscrapers? Well imagine what it was like ten thousand years ago, a hundred thousand, a million! Just think about how different ponies and things would be! Eventually you’d go so far back you’d see the original pony. What we come from. If not precisely where.”
“...Oh. Well that’s a good question. If that’s how ponies were born then where did our planet come from? Hm. I think I should ask Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, they might know that. I’m sorry—cosmology is interesting but it’s not my area of expertise.”
“It means the study of the origin of the universe. You see, far older than any living creature is blah blah, blah blah blah blah, and then some think that blah blah blah...”
“Sorry sugarcube, reckon I aint really given any thought to it one way or the other. Just doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. I mean, we’re here aint we? That’s about all anypony needs to worry about as far as I’m concerned.”
“No it aint the same as forgetting about where you came from!”
“Fine! Granny Smith said once that there was an old tale passed down by earth ponies, this was before even Hearthswarming mind you, and it was about where earth ponies came from.”
“Yes, just earth ponies, sorry you two. But anyways the story goes that before any other ponies were here, the land was filled with nothing but wild animals and plants that grew everywhere and did whatever they wanted. It was an untamed place, like the Everfree Forest but over the entire world. And to tame nature, the earth itself gave birth to ponies that could rein things in and set up order. And that’s where earth ponies supposedly came from. Rose up right out of the dirt just as we are so that we could make the world just a little less wild.”
“Yeah I aint surprised that you heard different already. It’s a nice tale but a silly one. Kind of makes you feel good though, don’t it? I always did like it a little even though I didn’t think it was real or nothing like that. Just nice knowing ya got a purpose.”
“Well I admit I don’t really have an answer for you either, darlings, but I hope that whatever the truth is is a bit more romantic than what Twilight and Applejack already told you.”
“Hm? Any old unicorn stores? No I’m afraid not, and please I’m quite busy right now.”
“...Oh fine. This isn’t any old story or scientific theory or anything like that, but I did hear something once when I was about your age. It was back in school and a classmate was going on about how their father told them about how ponies came to be. Now I thought they were both full of hot air but if you want to hear about it then so be it. Supposedly there didn’t used to be any magic in the world, the sun and the moon didn’t move either because no unicorns existed yet obviously. Everything was still and quiet.”
“And then—and this is why I thought they were full of hot air because they never explained how exactly this happened—there was a sudden explosion or burst of magic or something silly like that and the whole world was bathed in glorious rainbow colors. That was the part of the story I liked. Anyways, from there, creatures of magic all started to take shape and I’m sure through many more grandiose, overly-dramatic, and bedazzling events the world became what we know today. That classmate said we ponies were some of the last to form. I don’t know why, don’t you think it would be nicer if we were the first?”
“I am not an awful storyteller! You get back here this instant! And also please make sure you phrase that question better later!”
“Pff, I dunno, but I bet it was something awesome! Like, this is something I used to think about when I was a kid, right? Celestia and Luna are old but they’re not that old. What if there was an even older, bigger, and cooler Alicorn before them? And what if it fought some huge evil chaos monster? Like Discord but eviler and bigger. They fought and fought dozens of times, and like, whenever they clashed the world, or the sun, or the moon were created. Like, I dunno how but just from their awesome energies smashing into each other. And so one final time when they fought, they both died because they wore themselves out too much, and when they did they disappeared or something but their magic still like, washed over the rest of the world and ponies came from that. Like it was just rocks and maybe bugs at first but then ponies, and dragons, and griffons were born from all that magic. Pretty cool, right?”
“Um, I don’t know where ponies come from, but I knew animals were here first.”
“Oh, well, that’s just because how much more in tune with nature they are. And um, I’ve studied fossils and animal history, just on my spare time a little bit...”
“But it’s because of that that I know we ponies weren’t always like this. There was a time when we were more like wild animals. I bet it was really nice. I mean, I kind of wish we were still like that. Can’t you imagine how quiet and peaceful everything would be? There’d be nothing to worry about at all.”
“Well… my parents also told me how some pegasi said there was an old tale saying how we came from clouds. I don’t know how or why that belief started, but apparently pegasi were supposed to be born straight from the clouds and made to take control of the weather. We were… formed from the fluffy white clouds, and they became our wings and gave us a connection with the sky. But, I also heard there was this one even older story but pegasi didn’t like sharing it too much.”
“It’s because the story says that pegasi came from earth ponies and they were embarrassed about it.”
“Oh, I don’t think anyone meant it badly. At least I hope not. But pegasi, especially before Hearthswarming, probably liked thinking they were special. This story said that earth ponies, jealous of the clouds flying through the sky, climbed up to the highest mountain around and pulled the clouds down and formed them into wings. And thus they became pegasi. I think it’s kind of a pretty story...”
BEFORE EVERYTHING ELSE THERE WAS A GIANT MIXING BOWL!
It flew about in cosmic space with nothing but the chocolate milky way around it. Then there was a whisk and a bunch of ingredients! Sugar, spice, everything nice! They all were poured and mixed into the bowl! But then! Another ingredient was accidentally added: MAGIC!
And thus, ponies were born! And then some stuff happened and everything else was created too!
*
“And that’s how I got my Cutie Mark!”
“Well you see, when a stallion and a mare really love each other they blank blank and then bleep bleep bleep. And sometimes awooga awooga hummina hummina bleep bleep bleep.”
“Now then a few months later bleep bleep bleep.”
“But of course honk honk honk.”
“And then there are the cases where blank loves blank and then blankity blank blank. So sometimes you need a honk honk. But in the end it’s still hummina hummina awooga.”
“Bleep bleep mare… blank stallion… bleep bleep hooves and blank… bleep flank… bleep bleep tail. Blank a lot of blank. Sometimes bleep, sometimes bleep bleep bleep.”
“And that’s about all you need to know.”
“Hm?”
“...”
“Oh.”
“Oh. That’s what you meant.”
“Wait! Hold on! Don’t tell Applejack and Rarity about what you just heard me say!”
“There was a great and powerful explosion and everything was created from nothing in an instant! The stars, the moon, the sun, and this very world we stand on all formed over eons after that grand explosion! It was the greatest and most powerfulest event ever seen! Ponies slowly came about after the planet formed—we were the very first of all creatures to walk the surface. Before the dragons, before any bug or bird or other animal, ponies were the original life!-”
“Yeah unicorns were probably first of all, now don’t interrupt.”
“And after many years, other creatures came to join ponies, but ponies continued to grow further and become greater! Eventually the great Alicorns appeared to guide ponies along throughout history. Despite the jealousy directed at them, ponies were infinitely kind and grateful and did nothing but help those around them-”
“I dunno, just hold on.”
“But it wasn’t enough and there was a great war that bathed the whole world in fire. Everything was undone, everything consumed by the great and powerful inferno. The whole world had to start over again, and the ponies as we are now came from that.”
“Oh—I heard it from some weird stallion yelling about it on the side of a street in Manehattan.”
“I don’t know. But I know rocks are much older. You see, you can study the age of rocks and fossils quite easily. And they go back much further than any creature today could possibly have been alive. It goes to say that the rocks that form the world had to exist well before ponies.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Would you like to read my rocktorate thesis?”
“Well I was bored one day, there’s only so much fun you can have without anyone else around to appreciate it, and so I snapped my fingers and created ponies out of big balls of clay. The process was riddled with trial and error but eventually I was happy with the shape. Can’t say you were the most intelligent of creatures at the start but I suppose nowadays you can at least be called sentient. Had a lot of laughs when I introduced you to dragons. In hindsight maybe it was a slight mistake to make you all but I can’t say things have ever been boring in the world since ponies were born.”
“Hm?”
“Oh, no, none of that is true. But you should’ve seen the look on Twilight Sparkle’s face when I told her the same thing! Hilarious! I had her going for an entire week before I finally told her it was just a big fib. She was preparing to update a bunch of old journals and textbooks—I couldn’t stop laughing!”
“I see why you would ask me considering I am a fair deal older than most other creatures.”
“Oh—you already asked everyone else you knew?”
“Well then… be that as it may, I’m afraid I don’t have a solid answer for you either. As many years as I’ve seen, I was not around from the beginning. And I’ve heard just as many strange stories and myths on the origins of ponies as you have today. So naturally I began to take everything I heard with a grain of salt.”
“Yes, I’ve heard that story too, it’s a lovely tale isn’t it?”
“Now that’s a new one…”
“Really? I suppose I need to think about that.”
“Yes, I’m sorry that I can’t give you a single answer and tell you that it’s the truth, but that’s okay isn’t it? Think about all you learned today—everything you heard, the individual ideas, the fantastical stories and the purposes of them. The knowledge and insight into the ponies of the world, both past and present, is a great reward. Even if ponies never find out exactly where they came from, or how, it will never dampen our spirits or curiosity. I’m sure in the future there will be just as many wondrous tales and even more studious ponies asking questions.”
“…oh, well if you want to still go ask Luna she’s asleep right now.”
