Sunny Starscout was a mare of expectations. She lived life with a set of assumptions that she knew wouldn’t always be correct, but gave her comfort to believe in anyways. Because of this, Sunny Starscout was a mare who quite often got surprised by things. When she walked into her house—formerly Izzy’s cottage, now Izzy and Sunny’s—she became surprised.
One thing that surprised her was, strangely, what had surprised her in the first place. The first thing she had seen when turning to face her love after closing the door was Izzy passionately making out with another mare. This had not been the thing to surprise Sunny (which, subsequently, surprised her.) What had surprised her was the plain and obvious fact that the mare with which Izzy Moonbow was currently attached to at the lips was, undeniably, Sunny Starscout.
The two of them—the kissing pair, that is—had frozen solid at the opening and closing of the door, and while Sunny couldn’t read Izzy’s mind at all, the look in her eyes betrayed another surprised pony. They were wide open, shocked from the interruption, and with a deep blush she turned her head to face the mare which had just walked in, only to freeze yet again with a newly shocked expression once they settled upon Sunny.
“Oh, sorry, I thought I… locked… the. Door? I mean, Sunny?” Izzy asked, blinking several times before returning her gaze to the Sunny Starscout beneath her.
(For purposes of readability, this mare shall henceforth be referred to as “Starscout”.)
Sunny (of which this now, of course, refers to the mare standing shellshocked at the door) began to stammer, completely at a loss for words. A rapid, train crash of emotions and thoughts was occuring behind her eyes. Thoughts of betrayal flowed to immediate forgiveness because of course how could Izzy be blamed for making out with another mare when that mare was herself, but how could that be herself when she was clearly standing at the door, though also, obviously, below her wife, and that perhaps this was her, and some magical alicorn-magic mishap had cloned her, but if that was the case she probably would have remembered said mishap, so probably not, meaning that the mare kissing Izzy couldn’t be her, even though she obviously must be.
Starscout, seemingly not affected by the confusion, was quick to blurt aloud, “I’m the real Sunny, Izzy.”
Which seemed to Sunny to be absolutely suspicious, but that opinion was rapidly dropped in favor of a counter rebuttal: “No, I’m the real Sunny.”
What followed between Sunny and Starscout was an incredible battle of wits and elocution, of logic and rhetoric, of—really, who would be fooled by this. They were arguing “No, I am,” ad nauseam, until Izzy finally sighed deeply and—almost regretfully—stood up from the couch.
“Alright, alright, hold on a second. Let’s all just take a deep breath.”
Sunny gaped at this suggestion at first before deferring to the infinite wisdom of her wife. Surely Izzy would be able to get to the bottom of this. Surely there was some clever way to differentiate between herself and this imposter. Surely, if anything, Izzy would find a way. As such, she closed her mouth and nodded, though she could not erase the worried grimace from her muzzle.
Starscout was less inclined to comply, and she quickly righted herself and gripped her wife, pleading “Please Izzy, you have to believe me, I don’t know who this mare is, but I’m your wife!”
Izzy opened her mouth to respond to this but the begging flicked a switch in Sunny’s brain, and she blurted out in response.
“Wait! Ask us something only I would know! That way you can—”
“I don’t care,” Izzy said.
The two Sunny Starscouts blanched.
“Because you know I’m real and this thing,” Starscout indicated Sunny with a flippant wave of a hoof, “is an imposter here to steal your love?”
“Hey, wait a second,” Sunny replied, stomping a hoof.
“I don’t care,” Izzy said again.
“Because when have I ever talked like that, right honey?” Sunny asked, before sticking her tongue out at Starscout.
“Hmmph!” Starscout responded.
“I. Don’t. Care,” Izzy said again, with quite some finality.
The words finally sunk in for Sunny and with a sinking feeling in her barrel she approached Izzy, tears forming in her eyes. Why didn’t Izzy care? Had she never loved her back, instead living a life of charade? Why then would she have married her? Here yet again another assumption she had braced her life against had crumbled beneath her. Surprise couldn’t come close to describing it.
Starscout seemed to be taking it far better than Sunny, as the only expression on her face was something that could only be described as a very twisted ‘huh?’. She blinked sluggishly, before giving voice to the bewildered look and asking her lovely wife, “Huh?”
“I don’t care!” Izzy chirped, smiling brightly at the two of them. She turned to face Sunny, giggled ruefully, wiped her tears with a hoof and then spoke. “Here, fine. Something only you can answer. What do I love, more than anypony or anything else in the whole wide wide world?”
Starscout’s eyes shifted around the room faster than Hitch identified litter in a crowd. “Glitter!” she cried out, an expectant look on her face and a bead of sweat running down her cheek.
Sunny chuckled through a tight throat and then brought her hooves up to Izzy’s face as well, holding it close. “Me,” she said, happy to reassemble her earlier assumption.
“Bingo,” Izzy said. At this, Starscout opened her mouth, but Izzy quickly reached over and muzzled her with a hoof. “And guess what I have right now?”
The two Sunny Starscouts stared at each other, then at Izzy, then back to themselves, and then back to Izzy again.
“Gli-er?” Starscout hazarded around Izzy’s hoof.
“A delicate moral conundrum that’s often the subject of philosophical debate?” Sunny suggested.
“Two of you, silly!” Izzy chirped, booping each of them on the nose simultaneously before dancing around the living room. “I’m the luckiest mare in the whole world. First I had just one wife, and now I have two! That’s three times the love! I mean, I’ve read a lot of romance fiction, and a lot about love triangles, and I’ve always sorta wanted to be in one, cause how fun would that be?” She stopped dancing and looked quizzically at them. “Though maybe only two times the love. I dunno if you should kiss yourself. Or maybe you should! I certainly like it.”
The two Sunny Starscouts glanced at each other and quickly shook their heads. Reassured they were on the same page, they returned their gazes to the unicorn.
“Suit yourself. The point is, I don’t care if one of you is a scary monster from ancient mythology designed to feed off my love for my partner.”
“How did you kn—”
“I just told you, I read a lot of romance. That’s like half the stories out there.”
“Really?” the two of them asked. “How niche,” Sunny muttered.
“Regardless, it doesn’t matter. You’re fine to feed off my love. Both of you are,” she winked. “But I think I should get something back in return.”
The earth ponies nodded in unison. “That only seems fair,” Sunny said. Starscout nodded.
“How about…” Izzy wandered around the room while she thought about it. “I know. The perfect payment.”
“What is it?”
“You get to do my share of the cleaning, so I can make more crafts for you. It’s gonna take me that much longer to make two of every little gift, after all.”
