“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she looked upon herself. She had been trying to change the diapers of Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s twin foals: Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake. But although she had managed to get the old, dirty diapers removed, the pink party pony had somehow managed to get the diapers meant for the twins on her head and rump respectively.
The twin toddlers laughed themselves silly at such a sight, and delighted in their newfound freedom as they ran around completely naked (but then, ponies were already naked as it was). It seemed they were in no hurry to have new diapers placed upon them. Yet again, it seemed like they enjoyed giving their pink coated foalsitter a hard time. Even diaper changes weren't enough of a reason for them to want to cooperate with her.
Confronted with this latest display of defiance from the toddlers, Pinkie found herself fast losing all patience. These foals were driving her crazy! And having to change their diapers was the last straw! Why should she have to put up with such a dirty deed? Especially since she didn't have the luxury of using wings or a horn to help with the process.
It was then that the temporary foalsitter got an idea. An idea that would’ve sounded crazy and out there for anypony else, but for her it made perfect sense. If she didn’t wanna have to keep changing diapers, she’d just have to teach the babies what they were going to have to learn anyway eventually. And when she did so, that would prove to everypony that they were wrong to doubt her. She could be responsible! The time had come for her to teach the baby Cakes all about the great porcelain throne. And ready or not, they were going to learn.
“Alright, you two!” Pinkie Pie declared as she shook the diaper off her rump and removed the one from her head, tossing them both into the same diaper pail she’d just discarded the twins dirty diapers into moments earlier. “I’ve had it with changing your diapers! If you’re not gonna cooperate with me on that, then it’s time you learned how to do your pee-pees and poo-poos without diapers. Yes, you heard me right: Without diapers. It's time for you two to start using the potty.”
The twins blinked and babbled in confusion. They had no idea what their foalsitter was talking about. They already didn’t understand the jokes she had tried to do earlier. Was this another one of those? What was this "potty" she was speaking of?
Pinkie simply picked up the foals, carrying them out of the nursery and taking them to the same bathroom she’d bathed them in earlier after they’d made a mess during snack time (another ordeal where they had refused to cooperate with her). “Probably should’ve gotten you two a potty chair before hoof, but oh well,” She shrugged even as she realized she probably should’ve prepared for this (despite it being a spur of the moment decision). “Potty training is potty training, no matter what you’re using or what you do it with.”
Pound and Pumpkin Cake were still confused, blinking in mutual agreement as they were brought before something large, round, and white. The bottom of it looked almost like a bowl, attached to some kind of silver tube things. But the top half looked more like a chair. It had some kind of seat that looked like a horseshoe or a sideways letter u. And covering the seat was some sort of lid, almost like the lids on bowls. There was also a top to it, and a silver ramp like device off to the twins’ left.
Pinkie Pie set the twins on the bathroom floor, instructing to them. “Just stay right there, don’t do anything. This will only take a minute or two,” Under her breath she added. “I hope.” Then, after quickly making sure her young charges were secure, she lifted up the lid of the toilet, exposing the seat. So far so good.
Before Pound or Pumpkin could even think of doing anything, they were again scooped up by Pinkie and placed ever so gently upon the seat. It was cold to the touch, and underneath it seemed to be water, almost like a tub. It was smooth and mirror-like, or so it seemed.
“Okie dokie lokie, you guys,” Pinkie spoke up as she made sure the foals had her full attention. “Now this next part is super duper easy. You just gotta let it all out, go in the toilet,” But the twins blinked and looked at her as if she were speaking a foreign language, they didn’t seem to understand a word she was saying. “You know, do your pee-pees and poo-poos. Your number one and number two. That’s what a toilet is for. Then I’ll help you wipe, and then we can flush.”
Still, the twins appeared to be dumbfounded. They didn't seem to know what any of those words meant. It was as if Pinkie was speaking to them in another language or something.
Forcing back a groan, the pink party pony explained. “You wanna know how we flush, huh?” She trotted over to the nearby handle, placing a hoof on it. “It’s simple. Just push this and presto, everything goes away, down the drain,” Then she smiled. “It’s okay if you guys don’t have to go right away, I’ve got plenty of time to wait.”
And Pinkie was as good as her word on that. She stood by the toilet as the twins sat on it, blinking at her. She had taught them everything they needed to know about the toilet, the rest was up to them.
Moments passed rather slowly, or so they seemed. Pound and Pumpkin Cake just sat on the toilet, apparently waiting for permission to get off the seat. All the while, Pinkie kept a watchful blue eye, occasionally glancing to see if she could see anything. Nothing had happened. And neither had she heard anything: No plops, no splashes, nothing.
Then Pinkie had another idea as a thought came to her. “Oh, I know! You foals need to be alone to do whatever it is you need to do!” And she giggled at the seemingly obvious answer. “Of course, silly me, how could I forget? You’re supposed to give other ponies privacy when they’re on the toilet. It’s rude to watch other ponies when they’re ‘doing their business’ as Rarity puts it,” She smiled. “I’ll just be right outside while you two do your pee-pees and poo-poos.”
Both Pound and Pumpkin apparently liked the idea of being alone. They babbled, cooed and clapped their hooves as they smiled, wiggling their bare naked bottoms a little bit as they did so. They clearly enjoyed anything that let them be without diapers. And Pinkie hoped that was a good sign.
The party pony turned foalsitter smiled back at the twins as she bounced to the bathroom door. “Well okay then, it’s settled. I’ll wait outside for you two to finish. Boy, will your parents be surprised when they find out about this. After all, even I wasn’t potty trained in a day. But there’s a first time for everything! Oh, I can't wait to throw you two a party for this!”
Soon, Pinkie had trotted through the bathroom door and shut it behind her as she waited outside with a patient smile. Everything seemed to be falling into place. Soon, the twins would have used the toilet, and she would have proved everypony wrong when they all seemed to think she couldn't possibly be responsible.
Little did the pink party pony realize what she was setting herself and the twins up for. It never even occurred to her why one shouldn’t leave foals alone in the bathroom, especially not on a toilet. If she had known, perhaps what happened next would've never occured.
It didn’t take long for the Cake twins to become bored and impatient. They had been sitting on the toilet for what felt like ages (even though it had only been a few minutes at most). They had already done what Pinkie wanted them to do earlier, in their diapers, which she had changed. Why did she expect them to do it all again, but this time do it in a strange object they had only the faintest idea of what it was for? Besides, they didn't think they could do it again. They didn't really feel the need to do anything, or they probably would've done it just so they could get off the seat.
The twins then remembered something that caught their attention earlier. Pinkie Pie had mentioned a “flush” and explained to them how it was to be done. It involved that silver colored object resting just off to the other side of the toilet seat. Being curious little ones, they naturally decided they should find out for themselves what this “flush” would do.
Straining themselves as they scooted along the seat, the twins eventually reached the handle. But it was too high up for them to reach unless they stood up. So they did, despite not being used to doing so. It would only be for a few seconds. There would be no harm.
With Pumpkin standing on top of her brother Pound, the twins managed to reach up to the handle and grasp. Straining even harder, they pushed it down. There was what sounded like a click. And then the toilet began to flush. The water in the bowl below began to spin around and around! A loud and unfamiliar noise reached the twins' ears as the flush cycle began.
Then there was trouble! The twins had already been standing for longer than they were used to. Their little hooves gave way and they fell, slipping off the seat and into the toilet bowl below with a splash! They managed to poke their little heads up above the water, but found that they couldn’t really move around because it was spinning so fast! To make matters worse, it felt like they were moving somehow! It was like something had taken hold of them, making it impossible for them to escape!
Before either Pound or Pumpkin realized it, the water in the toilet bowl receded and took the twins along with it! Down, down, down they went! A hole suddenly appeared to them, and in the blink of an eye they were sucked past it as down the drain they disappeared! Then everything went black, they couldn’t see where they were going! They were helpless passengers on a journey to an unknown destination!
Pinkie Pie was unaware of what had transpired with the toilet. She had heard the flush and thought she had heard a splash, but just assumed it was the twins doing what she had instructed them to do. “Okay, Pound, Pumpkin,” She called from the other side of the bathroom door as she heard the flush cycle end. “Are you guys all done? Do you need me to help you wipe up?”
There was no reply. That struck Pinkie as kind of odd. “Pound Cake? Pumpkin Cake?” She called again, still suspecting nothing. But again there was no answer. Something had to be up.
Pinkie pushed open the bathroom door, trotting over to the toilet where she was surprised to find the seat vacant: There was no sign of either Pound or Pumpkin Cake anywhere. That was definitely strange, even for a pony like Pinkie who was used to doing strange things all the time. Had the twins pulled another one of their pranks on her? Had they somehow slipped away without her noticing?
The pink party pony searched all over the bathroom, checking every nook and cranny, every cabinet and behind everything she could. She kept expecting to find the bare bottomed twins at any moment (along with possibly something to clean up). But they were nowhere to be found. It was like they'd just vanished into thin air. But that was impossible. Wasn't it?
Pinkie Pie began to ponder aloud as she scratched her head with a hoof. “I don’t get it. Where’d they go? They have to be around here somewhere. I know they couldn’t have left the bathroom, the door was closed,” Then she began to ponder something else too. “If the twins aren’t here, then why did the toilet flush? Toilets don’t flush all by themselves.” And her gaze turned back to the toilet as if she expected it to prove her wrong.
Suddenly, that’s when it hit the party pony turned foalsitter! She had left the twins on the toilet seat and had waited outside the bathroom, she’d heard the toilet flush, yet when she had re-entered the bathroom she couldn’t find the twins anywhere. All of that added up! There was only one possible explanation! Foals didn’t just disappear into thin air! A horrified gasp escaped Pinkie’s lips as she realized what had happened! “Oh no! Pound and Pumpkin must’ve gotten flushed! They flushed themselves down the toilet, and it's all my fault!”
Immediately, Pinkie started to panic as she exclaimed to herself! “Oh no no no! Not good! Not good! Oh, what was I thinking letting foals be alone on the toilet?! How will I ever explain this to Mr. and Mrs. Cake?! Oh, everypony was right, I can’t handle the responsibility! I let two foals get flushed away! Nopony will ever trust me with foals again if they find out!”
Well, there was only one thing to do! The pink coated earth pony immediately raced out of the bathroom and then out of Sugarcube Corner. She had to find the twins before anypony could find out what had happened to them! She was sure to get more than an earful if it was found out she’d let twin toddlers be flushed down the drain (even if it wasn’t intentional).
Then, suddenly, Pinkie’s wandering eyes spotted something laying just off a pathway! It was old, worn and quite smelly (not to mention rusty) “Of course!” She exclaimed aloud! “The old drain pipe!” And where there was a drain pipe, there was sure to be a sewer. With any luck, that’s where she’d find Pound and Pumpkin Cake (assuming they hadn't gotten stuck in the pipes after going down the drain). And then she’d find a way to get out of the sewer and get back to Sugarcube Corner.
“Hold on, Pound and Pumpkin Cake!” Pinkie Pie shouted, not caring who heard her! She opened one end of the drain pipe and crawled into it. “I’m coming! Pinkie’s gonna save you!”
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake had long since made their way through the pipes, riding past every twist and turn in the dark until they'd finally tumbled down into murky, icky, green colored water that smelled like their diapers before they’d been changed. They stood up, unconcerned about where they were or what they were in.
The twins looked around. They couldn’t really see anything except pipes, water, and some objects made of bricks. Was it some kind of city underneath the streets of Ponyville? Did ponies secretly dwell here? It seemed like somepony had to be living here considering they saw all kinds of things floating around: A necklace, keys, scraps of paper, even some stuffed animals and plastic toys. What would they all be doing here if nopony lived here, even just from time to time?
Well, before either of the foals could have a look around, they heard what sounded like loud banging and clanking. It sounded like somepony was coming through those metal objects overhead.
A moment later, from a pipe emerged Pinkie Pie. Her mane, tail and coat were completely covered in the murky, icky, green colored water. And she smelled really bad, like ten dirty diapers that hadn’t been changed in forever! “Oh, thank goodness you little foals are safe!” She exclaimed as she scooped up the twins, then sniffing and plugging her nose when the stench reached her nostrils! “P.U.! You guys stink! Even your dirty diapers weren’t this bad! Never thought I'd be saying that.”
Pound and Pumpkin giggled, already recalling how much fun they’d had making Pinkie chase them around the nursery to change their diapers earlier. The smell hadn't bothered them then, and it didn't bother them now.
The pink coated earth pony breathed a small sigh. “Well, I guess I should’ve expected it after you two went down the drain. Oh, we’re all going to need a bath when we get out of here! I’m so sorry, you guys. I really shouldn’t have tried to teach you how to use a toilet before you were ready,” She looked down at them. “Do you guys promise not to give me a hard time if I don’t make you use the toilet again?”
Both little ones seemed to nod and smile in agreement. At the least they didn’t seem too upset or frightened by what they had been through. With a little luck, they might even forget all about it, which was good news to Pinkie.
“Okay, let’s get you foals home and then we can all get cleaned up,” Pinkie told the foals. “Come on, let’s hurry before your parents get home and suspect something! This'll just be our little secret, okay?”
Pinkie fortunately managed to get back to Sugarcube Corner after climbing out of a ponyhole cover, and nopony seemed to notice her at any point during her trek back. Soon, she had a bath going for herself and her very stinky charges. She had to scrub very thoroughly to get the stench out of them (and herself for that matter). After that, she put the twins to bed and set to work cleaning up the other messes from her earlier foalsitting woes.
Never was Pinkie Pie more relieved than she was when the Cakes returned home later that evening. It had taken her the entire afternoon to clean up all the messes the twins had made, to say nothing of how long she’d had to bathe with them to get rid of the stink they’d accumulated from being in the sewers.
When Mr. and Mrs. Cake checked on their sleeping twins and found them to be at peace, the parents were relieved, happy and most of all amazed. Pinkie had managed better than they had expected, better than anypony had expected to be honest.
“Thanks again for looking after the twins, Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake sweetly told the pink party pony after coming back down from the nursery. “You were a real cakesaver. Sorry Carrot and I doubted you.”
Pinkie waved a hoof and shrugged it off. “Ah, you guys were just worried about your precious little angels. It’s totally understandable. But I had it all under control,” Under her breath she added. “More or less.”
Mr. Cake then commented. “Well, there is one thing that I kind of noticed. It’s hard to overlook and it’s really bothering me.”
“Oh, what’s that?!” Pinkie Pie asked as she suddenly seemed to become worried about something.
Mr. Cake explained in a matter of fact tone of voice. “The babies weren’t wearing diapers. And I know they still had them on when Cup Cake and I left. You must’ve had to change them at some point, right? Did you forget that you have to put new diapers on them afterward?”
At that the pink party pony began to stammer. She knew she’d been forgetting something! “Ah, well, about that…” With a sheepish grin she confessed. “Let’s just say, it’s true what they say: They really do grow up so fast these days.”
Mrs. Cake smiled a motherly smile as she seemed to realize what Pinkie had done. “Oh, you tried to potty train them already? That’s very sweet of you, Pinkie, really.”
“Huh? O-oh, yeah, I did try to do that!” Pinkie quickly corrected herself. “But it… didn’t go so well, so I decided not to push it. Guess I just forgot to put their diapers back on afterward.”
Mr. and Mrs. Cake blinked ever so slowly for a moment, before Mr. Cake managed to reply. “Well, just make sure you don’t forget ever again. I don’t think Pound and Pumpkin Cake will be ready for potty training anytime soon.”
The pink party pony nodded. “Yeah, I know that. Some things aren’t worth rushing. They only get to be foals once.” But in the back of her mind she was thinking to herself. “That was too close. Guess I learned the hard way about trying to take on more responsibility than I could handle. Hm, maybe I could write a letter to Princess Celestia about it? I’d just have to make sure not to include certain details.”
Author's Note
Originally, this was going to be a fanfiction published by WatchTower1992 per a request me made. But he eventually abandoned the project after deciding it wasn't in his interests. Since the idea had originally been mine (I proposed it to him when he asked for ideas on a test comission), I worked it into this fic.
