Rule Two of Dating The Princess of Friendship; Avoid Fairground Theatrics

Part One

SFW CHAPTER

Date night was the pinnacle of Anon's week. It was the one day of the week that without fail, guaranteed him and Twilight would be able to spend time together. You'd think that living together would leave them plenty of time for cuddling and general couple stuff, however you'd be wrong. Twilight herself had an incredibly busy schedule, as you'd expect from her status as effective royalty. From various assorted speeches, running the school of friendship, solving friendship problems across Equestria and wider Equis as a whole, hell the list just goes on and on. While Anon's schedule was... a bit more humbling, it was busy nonetheless. Being one of the only residents of Ponyville with dexterous fingers (with the exception of Spike and... sometimes Pinkie Pie, apparently), he was pretty useful for general handyman jobs. In conjunction with his height, being that he damn near doubled most of the Ponies in height, he made for quite the versatile helper. The only Pony he'd ever met who was taller than him was Celestia herself, and even then they were still more or less eye-level. Anon kept his days busy with various little tasks, such as helping with apple bucking at Sweet Apple Acres, decorating cakes at Sugarcube Corner, or even just fixing somepony's clock or door. It wasn't much, but it was a good bit of extra bits in his pockets, and made him feel just a little less like a freeloader.

He'd come to quite the conundrum lately though. Each date they went on thinned their options just a little. He liked to keep things new and exciting for Twilight, and they rarely went to the same place twice. She of course wouldn't care if they did, after all Twilight wasn't exactly picky or hard to please, but he still felt like that bit of extra effort on his part was important. If nothing else, it at least helped in demonstrating that he was more than willing to put in just as much for this relationship as she was. While it'd grown particularly difficult to find new things lately considering how small Ponyville is, he'd found something he thought worked well enough; the Fair. From the moment he'd heard of it, all he could do was linger upon the concept in his mind, imagining each and every possible scenario that he could possibly come up with. He'd watched... maybe a few too many romantic comedies in his past life on Earth. However, he couldn't deny that they provided plenty of good ideas.

"Ummm... Anon, are you sure about this..?" Twilight asked, the side of her barrel unusually close to Anon's hip. She seemed almost glued to him as she asked the question, with a somewhat shaky tone in her voice. Despite this however, Anon seemed stuck the whimsy dream that was his imagination, and thinking about how romantic this would be seemed to be clouding his judgement. As such, he didn't seem to pick up on her hesitation, and responded with complete and oblivious enthusiasm.

"Hell yeah! Honestly finding out you Ponies had travelling Fairs too was one of the most exciting tid bits of info I've picked up since I arrived. They kinda died a little back home, so it's awesome they're a little more popular here." He began to ramble to himself in a manner Twilight herself was awfully familiar with, largely because she herself did the same thing on the regular. It was one of the things that really tied them together though; their similarities. While not the same person by any means, the two of them shared many quirks that made them seem almost like a match made in heaven. Or, whatever the pony equivalent to heaven was, Anon hadn't exactly gotten that into the religious inner-workings of Equestria yet, although he'd be lying if he said he wasn't hoping there was a pony Jesus out there. Or, would that just be Celestia and Luna? Since they're... kinda Demi-Gods? Regardless, the point is him and Twilight had great chemistry, and understood each other on a fundamental level. That didn't make misunderstandings like this any easier though...

Twilight gazed up at the glowing bulbs upon the lettered entrance of the fair, taking in the sight before her. It was busy today, though perhaps not as busy as it would have been earlier in the day. This fair in particular was an all-nighter, likely to cater to any local Thestrals or potential ponies of more nocturnal persuasion. As such, Anon had decided to plan their evening around the fair for the sake of being more romantic, meaning that there were less and less ponies wandering about by the hour. If she listened carefully enough, she could surely hear the sounds of screaming and cheering from the mini roller-coaster on the far edge of the park. If she smelled the air well enough, she could likely smell the scent of popcorn, donuts and a plethora of sweets littered around the place. Finally, if she looked hard enough, she could certainly see the lights and colors flickering about the entire fair, brightening up the night sky. She couldn't deny, this seemed like it could be a fun night. But she was still... hesitant. Even so, Anon seemed so excited to go in, and he'd clearly been wanting to take her for a while. And with the mention of his home... maybe he'd feel less homesick if they gave it a try.

"Well... alright. Let's uh... let's have fun, kay' Anon?" Twilight said somewhat meekly, looking up at her coltfriend with a rather timid smile. Her timidness melted away in almost a second however, once she saw the pure joy on his face. She rarely saw him with so much excitement, he was usually pretty laid back unless you got him rambling, and yet he was practically smiling ear to ear. With the width of his smile, she could just about peak his sharp canines, a feature that always made her shiver just a little. Not necessarily because she was scared of him, but because it made her feel a sort of false sense of danger, and therein lies excitement. As such, she perked up a tiny bit, and trotted a few steps forward to enter the fair.

"Don't have to tell me twice." Anon practically skipped after her, barely containing his child-like excitement as they ventured inside. Anon's attention was grabbed in an instant, his eyes skimming over to the first game he saw. With speed Twilight would swear rivaled the Wonderbolts, Anon ran over to it, and Twilight trotted after. The game he'd picked seemed to be a sort of ring toss game, one of the ones where you had to get a ring around the neck of a bottle for a prize. Of course, these games were complete rip offs, he didn't imagine pony Carnies were much different from human ones, but that didn't concern Anon too much. The point wasn't to win, the point was just to enjoy the game! And besides, with the literal Element of Magic by his side, he was sure that it'd be impossible to lose! That was, until he noticed a sign on the back wall of the game. Written in bold, black lettering, it said; "NO MAGIC". Well, fuck.

The Earth Pony running the game gave the two a sly grin, a baseball cap shadowing his face from view. He had a sort of sleazy air about him, which Anon suspected was a universal trait of Carnies, regardless of the world they came from. They were scammers on Earth, and clearly scammers on Equis too. The pony leaned over the counter, and gestured to the various bottles laid out upon a tabletop, a ring spinning around his hoof.

"You two up fer' a toss?" He asked, with a voice that made him sound sort of like he'd been smoking for fifty years, despite seeming like he was a decently young adult. While Twilight found this questionable immediately, Anon didn't hesitate to toss a few bits the pony's way, which they scrambled to actually catch for a minute.

"How many tosses do I get for that?" Anon asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he awaited the answer. As he awaited it however, he noticed something about the game; it was god easy. On Earth, everybody obviously has dexterous fingers, making the grasping of objects and throwing of them far easier. However, in Equestria, dexterous hands were quite a rarity. As such, the design of the game was a lot easier to deal with. The bottles seemed slimmer than usual, and the ring itself wider. This gave Anon a significant advantage in the game, though the Carnie hadn't noticed yet.

"Well it's... two... three... ok it's five bits, so that'll give ya three tosses. Here big fella'." The Carnie slid the bits under the counter, and pulled out three of the large rings, before handing them over to Anon. Anon spun the rings in his fingers for a second, examining them closely to check for any possible issues or alterations that would make the game harder than it seemed. Finding nothing however, Anon seemed content, and glanced over to the bottles. He took a moment to pick his target, before finally, tossing the first ring. With accuracy and dexterity likely unseen by any other pony, the ring circled about the top of the bottle, and in his first try, Anon had won the game. The Carnie's smirk faded from his face in an instant, especially as he saw Anon winding up for a second throw. With equal accuracy to the first, Anon threw yet another ring, and once again, easily got it around a bottle. Back home, this game would've been impossible. But here, Anon probably seemed like a god at it, even if it was just a nerfed version of the one he was used to. At this point, the Earth Pony was convinced that there had to be some kind of fowl play involved. Surely the Princess stood beside him was using her magic! Well, he'd never heard of a Princess of all people abusing their power in such a way, but he wouldn't say it's impossible. The pony raised an accusatory hoof, and spoke in a tone of clear frustration.

"Maybe y'all didn't read the sign? Ain't not magic allowed!" Anon gave the Earth pony a confused look, before glancing down at Twilight. She seemed to give him back an equally confused look, the two of them making eye contact with the Earth pony, unsure exactly what he was referring to. Deciding to demonstrate the lack of fowl play, Anon threw his last ring, and like the previous two, easily got the ring around the neck of the bottle. Gesturing a hand towards the ring, Anon looked back to the Carnie, with a genuine look spread across his face.

"No magic, see? Just pure elbow-grease and dexterity." Twilight seconded his statement with an affirmative nod, raising up a hoof to her horn, and tapping upon it as best she could.

"My horn didn't glow or anything, and neither did the ring, so I'm... not really sure how we could've cheated." She exclaims, seemingly a tad less patient than Anon, an irritated tone subtle but present in her voice. She wasn't nearly as protective as somepony like Applejack, or Rainbow Dash, but Twilight did have a bit of a raw spot when it came to people targeting her coltfriend. It was a side of her she didn't even really know existed before she met him, but it seemed to come out more often than she'd expected. Then again, considering her lover was a literal one of a kind alien who didn't exactly fit most pony's idea of... well, a pony, it was pretty easy for him to be singled out, and as such, she found herself losing her temper with rude ponies more often than she'd have liked. Still, she'd found no reason to lose her cool completely. Not just yet. She'd see how the Carnie responded, and react accordingly. Unfortunately for him, he reacted with anger.

"Don't try n' play me filly. Princess or not I know a cheater when I sees' one, and this... whatever ya' are, is a bonefied cheat! There's no way y'all managed to get three rings in a row without chea-" The Pony's words were cut off by a stern glare Twilight seemed to be giving him. Anon hadn't noticed the look, and Twilight was thankful for it, she'd rather he didn't see her like this. With a fire in her eyes that made the Earth pony convinced she must've had some Kirin blood in her, Twilight needed to say nothing, instead only spreading her wings just a small bit, and flashing the glow of her horn.

"So what prize do ya' want?" With a smile completely alien to Anon, and an energy about him that just screamed trustworthy, the Carnie pointed to an array of prizes, both in plush format and plastic action. Riddled in confusion, Anon glanced back down to Twilight, seeing nothing but the cutest, most innocent little smile he's ever seen, as she looked up at him with closed eyes.

"Well, Nonny? Which prize do you want?" She asks, an especially sweet tinge in her voice. Anon couldn't help but have his concerns slip away, as an equally loving smile spread across his own lips, and he planted a hand upon her head, scratching gingerly behind her ears. She let out a soft hum of content as he did so, and Anon looked back to the Carnie. Taking a moment to think, he pointed up to a large plush that had caught his eye. The plush was at least eighty percent the size of Twilight herself, though of course, Anon would have no difficulty carrying it. It seemed to be a black and yellow dragon, with a little felt forked tongue and wings on the back. Without hesitation, the Carnie removed the plush from the assortment behind him, and handed it over to Anon rather quickly. So quick in fact, Anon was almost startled. Once it was handed over, the Carnie very quickly sat back on his haunches, and gave the two a friendly wave, his eye twitching slightly as he spoke.

"Well done, Sir! E-Enjoy your prize! You... earned it." He seemed to hesitate at that last bit, but Anon didn't linger on it too long, instead flashing him a smile in return, and waving back. After all, he had a big ol' dragon plushy now, what reason would he have to be upset still? Oh he was sure Spike would LOVE this thing.

"Thanks dude! Appreciate it!" Anon turned and began to trot away with Twilight in toe, though she did glance back at the Carnie one final time, and shot him another glare of contempt. The Earth pony remained smiley until the two had completely walked off, before promptly collapsing onto his back, and letting out a loud groan. A few moments later, a Unicorn couple wandered up to the counter, leaning over and looking at him in minor confusion.

"Um... hey, think we could get a toss or two-"

"NO."

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Author's Note

Sorry this is yet again such a short chapter! I had another 3K words written out on my laptop, and unfortunately, I stepped on it by accident and broke it today soooo… uhh, I lost that 3K, and now have to write on my phone. So, sorry about that, I know it makes the chapter feel a bit shitter. Sorry 😭🥲