Kind Hands

by OhNoHesUseless

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Sex
Length: 155313

How about we do it one more time? For the little ones.

All David wanted was an ordinary life- not necessarily something to shout about, but to at least be proud of. He had found his calling: a humble teacher who had dreams of settling down and living a pseudo-middle-class life. Now, Mr. Bayard has a small problem: he needs to carry out some princess’ special orders in a land that he knows nothing about. Oh yeah, and he’s got two children from his class with him for company.

Outsourced, out of his depth, and acting as a complete outlier, he must dictate the balance between finding his place in a new world whilst also keeping the only remnants of his past life in check, lest they all be lost to the blurred space between. Just do what these new guys want, then go home: what could be simpler than that?

Is crudely inserted into- and subsequently ruins- about mid-season 5 onwards. Because why not?

Includes 'Sex' tag for sexual references only, I'm sure.

Oh yeah, any sexual activity will be human/pony.

Published 2023-08-09 14:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2025-01-26 18:59:14 UTC

Chapter 2: He Looks Like Fun

“Do you really think he will be capable of carrying this burden?”

“I do not know. But one thing is certain.”

“And what might that be?”

“It will be fun to watch.”

I awoke in a place that I struggled to fathom. The frost and ice of the footpath that I was taken from had given way to a flat, endless tunnel that looked as if it was made of starlight. The space resembled the night sky, with small smudges of light contrasting with the canvas of black.

Despite the darkness that surrounded me, I found that my vision wasn’t impaired as I stared into the unending void before me. Thin beams of light began to appear in the outside of my vision: combinations of pale blues, pinks and whites converged and diverged seemingly at random before me, creating a picture that personified inner peace. There was no life. There was no death. There was only the endless divide between.

I merely stood and attempted to comprehend the place that I was in. Even the thought of standing was confusing at that moment. There was clearly no ground below me, yet I could feel a hard, flat surface that I could move on with ease. The very tranquillity of this place unnerved me. The place was at an equilibrium that felt so thin that my mere presence could well have been enough to unravel the fragile fabric of where I stood.

I didn’t have time to consider the environment any further as two beings appeared before me. In front of my eyes were two creatures that most closely resembled horses. Yeah. However, their facial proportions were incorrect, with large eyes that were capable of much greater expression than those that an equine should’ve possessed. I reached into my mind to try and find an animal that I could relate the two figures to, but any suggestions were quickly eliminated.

Of course, they were horses of some kind, but they had a unique human aspect to them that was as perplexing as it was unnerving. Both creatures also had a horn and a pair of wings, and, at that point, I gave up on finding a logical solution to the situation that I’d been forced into.

“What the bloody hell…?” was all that I could muster as the creatures came within a short distance of me. At this distance, I was able to get a better view of them and I could fully assess how screwed I was. Both creatures stood tall and proud, almost shamelessly so, with vibrant colours that seemed to both radiate and beckon in the light that surrounded us.

The larger one led the way, the crown atop her head shimmering in the cool light of wherever we were at that moment. Her coat was a fine white, completely devoid of any impurities, aside from the strange symbol of a sun near her rear. What likely would be referred to as her mane was an iridescent mass that almost seemed to be alive in its movements, hinting at an enormous power within its owner. The colours of her mane changed without a fixed pattern, yet each strand of colour appeared to be perfectly aligned with one another, glistening in the faint light that it released.

The shorter of the two lacked the bright colours and natural radiance of her counterpart, yet the aura she gave off would likely have split me in two if I ever defied her. She had much darker, more muted colours that resembled the sky when revealed in dim light. Blacks and darker shades of blue were prevalent in her mane, the colours differing so much from her partner’s that each of the two beings seemed to be the antithesis the other. What captivated me the most as I looked her over was the way her mane sparkled with faint, sporadic illuminations, almost as if someone had sewn together the fragments of a shattered moonlight.

I had no choice but to stare in awe over the beings that filled my vision. They were the embodiment of power, though they seemed docile in their current state. Either way, they both looked like they could kill me where I stood, so I silently reminded myself to mind my manners. After a short pause, the larger of the two creatures spoke.

“Greetings, human,” was all she initially said. Despite the formality of her words, her voice had a disarming quality to it that put me at immediate ease. Or I would’ve- had I not already assumed the foetal position on the ‘floor’ of this place, trying to keep hold of my sanity. It must’ve been for about a minute or so that I rocked back and forth, staring at nothing and mumbling incoherently about lucid dreams and crazy bitches.

Once I was done with that, I picked myself up and tried in vain to look presentable. I stared blankly at the pair in front of me in disbelief as my senses were repeatedly violated and I swear my heart was close to giving out.

This felt impossible.

It was impossible.

There was no other word than ‘impossible’.

“Are we okay to continue?” one of the voices asked.

Kissing goodbye to my sanity, I answered, “Yeah. I’m good. Continue. Jesus Christ…”

This answer was hardly resounding. But it was enough for the larger creature to continue where she left off. She cleared her throat before speaking again.

“I’m sure you have many questions,” she started, stating the blindingly obvious. “But first I ask that you listen. My name is Celestia and the little one next to me is my sister, Luna,” she explained, receiving a wry smile from her sibling. “We are princesses of the sun and moon in a land called ‘Equestria’. It is a land not of humans like yourself, but of ponies much like my sister and I.”

This had to be a wind-up. Like one of those hidden camera pranks. Has anyone else heard of that documentary where that guy got a spoilt kid to think that he was one of the only people to survive the apocalypse? It was like that. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing- although, that was probably a given at this point.

“We have called you here today to ask you to carry out a great deed for my land and its subjects.”

Celestia waited for either Luna to elaborate or for me to interject. It seemed that neither of us were in a rush to do anything. As a result, the alabaster princess took it upon herself to ask, “Is there anything you wish to discuss?” to my quivering form.

I did my best to process the information that I was given- really, I did. I briefly considered returning to the foetal position, but I decided against it. There was a long moment of silence between us before I found some of the words that I was looking for.

“I have a few questions. No, actually, I have every question,” I mumbled, every word that spilled from my mouth increasing in volume until I was practically shouting. I listened to myself think for the first time in what felt like generations before faltering again. “I’m sorry, but I just…” I trailed off as my eyes began to water due to the unbearable mental fog that overtook me.

“I don’t know…”

It was at that moment that a gentle warmth enveloped my body. Control was taken from me as I was gently lifted into the air and moved to within inches of the princesses. Whatever was coming, I accepted it, hanging there limp and lifeless, until I felt a different warmth: forelegs were draped over my neck and shoulders as the princesses embraced me in a hug devoid of malice and cruel intentions. Despite how hard I tried, tears flowed freely from my eyes as I buried my face into the thick fur of one of the sisters- it didn’t really matter whose fur it was at that moment.

“This is a lot to take in, I am sure,” came the slightly firmer voice of Luna. Her voice rang loudly in my ears, meaning that I was likely buried in her neck. “But I am sure that we can offer you respite, even though you are clearly overwhelmed.” Her voice, combined with the embrace she was giving, began to shift the mental fog out of my mind and get my brain moving again.

When I was ready, I pushed myself away from Luna, taking a moment to breathe and to think again. I looked off into the distance and considered where I was. I didn’t even entertain the idea of lucid dreams or drug-fuelled hazes; this was far too real. Hell, I didn’t even know where I could get LSD, so that was out. I looked off into the void behind me, then to the sisters, then back to the void again.

I had nothing better to do than shake my head before asking, “Where are we? I know you mentioned ‘Equetsria’ or something but where are we now? This doesn’t feel like a place requiring sun and moon goddesses.”

Celestia showed off a small smile at that. “This is the Celestial Plane,” she stated, gesturing to the space around her. “It is a place of my creation that I can summon when I need to discuss private matters with my subjects.”

That should’ve helped me more than it did, but I shook my head again. “So, what, then?” I inquired. “What’s this ‘private matter’ and what does it have to do with me being taken from my home?” I heard irritation seep into my voice as fear began to be replaced with frustration.

Luna stepped forward and raised a hoof apologetically. She closed her eyes before replying, “We do profusely apologise for the manner in which you were transported to this place…”

I raised an eyebrow at this response- not that Luna could see it.

“…but you humans can be unpredictable, and this was deemed to be the solution that would achieve the easiest journey for you,” she stated matter-of-factly. She opened her eyes again, faltering slightly once she caught my glare. “Is that… not enough?” she half-mumbled, stepping backwards and averting her gaze.

My expression softened after seeing the bizarre sight of such a powerful creature showing humility. I sighed. “No,” I answered, shaking my head once again. “Absolutely not. But I suppose that doesn’t really matter now, does it?” My eyes scanned over the princesses, who waited patiently for me to begin speaking again. “Just tell me what you need me to do.”

There was nothing else to say, was there? There was nothing I could’ve done in that moment that would’ve made things any better. I was fucked, to put it bluntly- but sooner start, sooner finish.

Although the reluctance was clear in my voice, Celestia resumed from where she left off. “You see,” she began, “The land of Equestria is a wonderful place of relative peace where my subjects can live their lives and prosper. However, there are ponies and other creatures who seek to destroy that peace and exploit the ponies of this land. That is where you come in.”

She looked up at me, and I gave her a nod to show that I was following along. “I have… acquired you because I can sense great potential in you. A great potential for magic.”

For obvious reasons, I felt the need to interject, but before I could, Luna spoke up to offer her reassurance.

“We are well aware, my friend, that your kind does not have the capacity for magic, so my sister’s proposal may be difficult to comprehend. However, I have sensed it too. With training- which we will happily provide- you will be able to harness that power and use it effectively in combat. With this training, we require you to bring down those who seek to upset the harmony of our land, of our subjects, and you will be rewarded with riches and comforts far beyond what you could expect from your own world.”

In spite of myself, I listened and waited patiently for my turn to speak. The proposals these ponies put forward were… ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. Even after all that had already happened, this bloody ‘potential’ that the sisters spoke of was far-fetched at best. Still, I went over what I’d been told, where only one word floated to the forefront of my mind.

“Combat, eh?” I wondered aloud, a sardonic smile overtaking my face. I could tell where this was going- and I didn’t like it. “I can’t say I’m particularly happy about being taken from my home and forced to fight mythical creatures, but it’ll at least be a hell of a story to tell- provided I’m not detained under the Mental Health Act. I’ll be going home after this, right?” I turned towards the princesses, fully expecting only one answer.

Well, I was- until Celestia gazed up at me sympathetically.

“This is where issues begin to arise…”

I knew damn well what that meant.

“…You will be permitted to return home once you have fulfilled your duties, but the time scale for this is uncertain. You may be kept here for a prolonged period of time…” she trailed off before beginning again with renewed vigour. “…But rest assured: You will live in this land in great comfort- far beyond that which you would experience in your home world.”

I wasn’t particularly happy about the princesses slandering my world. Yeah, a lot of the UK is a bit of a shithole, but steady on. Combining that with the fact that I’d been kidnapped only to wake up in… death, my glare had barely softened, regardless of the princess’ poxy promises.

“Do you realise how ridiculous this sounds?” I asked the sisters while rubbing at my forehead. I was annoyed by the lack of a response as both of them looked back at me with neutral expressions. “This feels like a ‘Heads: you win, Tails: I lose’ sort of situation. Like, I either abandon my world and play as a brave adventurer or I tell you to bugger off and probably get torn to pieces. Either way, I don’t feel like I really have a choice.”

I couldn’t have put it better myself. Diamonds are made under pressure, you know. I should’ve ranted at those buggers until I dropped dead, but my mind was still numb from everything that transpired. Whether that was intentional or not is up for debate, I certainly didn’t know. Either way, I did what I probably shouldn’t’ve done and gave in to what they asked- anything to get out of this damn void. “So, fine. I’ll do it.”

Celestia let out a deep sigh of relief upon hearing this. Seemingly receiving the answer that she had been looking for, both she and her sister lowered their heads to the ground and closed their eyes.

A faint whirring noise emanated from the ‘ground’ in front of me as it opened up, revealing a bow of some kind. I’m not even going to pretend that I know what the parts of a bow are called, so bear with me. Well, the bow was small in size and silver in colour, looking as if it was made from platinum. Its body was sharply curved in a way that made it look more striking than practical.

Looking over it further, I noticed a crudely-attached scope and a strong grip that looked perfect for human fingers. I couldn’t think of an animal other than myself who would’ve been able to use something like this, but it looked good enough for me. “…Is this for me?” I looked back at Luna after an uncomfortable silence.

“Oh, yes, sorry,” Luna answered awkwardly. She stood beside me and scanned her eyes over the weapon herself. “This is one of our gifts to you. Go ahead- reach out to it.”

Gingerly, I did what the princess asked of me. Once the bow was in my hands, I recoiled slightly as I felt a brief flash in my mind, like an electric shock. “…What the hell was that?”

“It was… a binding of sorts,” Luna explained. “That weapon has begun to ingrain itself into your mind. When your mind longs for it, it will appear. When your mind has no need for it, the weapon will dematerialise and retreat into your mind, waiting to be called again.”

That sounded like fun. Without needing to be asked, I focused my mind and tried to banish the bow into my head. In a swift movement, the bow collapsed in on itself, leaving behind faint whisps of air. At that moment, as I witnessed the thing disappear before my very eyes, my mind felt as if it was planning to collapse in solidarity with the weapon.

“Fuck- I can feel it!”

I placed my hands on both sides of my head to try and alleviate the sudden sensation. “I can feel it actually in there, like, its… fuck, I dunno… ‘soul’, I guess,” I elaborated in the only way I knew how at that moment, suddenly feeling rather breathless. I felt a hoof on my shoulder as Luna came to offer me some words of comfort.

“I can assure you, that sensation will pass. Take good care of this, now- it is as much a part of you as your heartbeat; it is yours and only yours. This is a weapon that has been lost to the sands of time; it does not exist anymore. I see it as the perfect gift to start with.”

I tried to pay attention to what Luna had to say, but I was too busy repeatedly summoning and de-summoning my new bow. It was more interesting than listening to the princess continue her little speech, at least.

“My sister’s student has done a wonderful job converting some creatures with the power of friendship. But we know that this will not work for everypony; there are some that cannot be changed and must- for the sake of Equestria- be… removed.”

“Jesus. That’s rather dark.”

She drew me back in with this new twist, so much so that I sent the bow back to my mind and kept it there. And so, I listened as the princesses took turns explaining about my training and where I was going to rest my head. Turns out, I’d be staying in big ol’ castle in a city called ‘Canterlot’. Awesome. Also, the mention of a ‘student’ earlier piqued my attention as I was eager to meet somebody who’d worked with the princess before. It’d be a good way to gauge what kind of people passed through the princess’ clutches.

Celestia told grand tales about this student; of how she and her friends brought down a centaur, outsmarted a madman and fixed problems that she herself caused, if we’re being honest. She certainly seemed powerful; I wondered if she was insane or simply lucky in order to get away with stuff like this for so long. Celestia didn’t mention any names in her explanations because that’s what she’s like, apparently. Except for one.

“…Starlight Glimmer? What kind of name is that? Are you having a laugh?”

She didn’t fully elaborate regarding the identity of this pony, simply stating that there would be time to explain once I’d gotten settled in. I expected as much. She only mentioned that Starlight would need to be brought to Canterlot for something. Something that undoubtedly included me.

The princesses and I spoke for a considerable while longer. They asked me questions about myself: small things like my diet, my aspirations and what I liked to do in my free time. Despite my anger towards my separation from my world, I found the princesses to be very disarming; the shorter one was even quite charming.

“Oh, yes. Before I forget, I believe this is yours,” Celestia suddenly blurted out, levitating… my mobile phone. I immediately grabbed it and tried to call my dad, my sister, or anybody at all. I’m sure you’ll be surprised to hear that it didn’t work.

“Apologies for tampering with your device. You humans really are an advanced species if you are able to create machines such as this without the use of magic. I did enjoy taking this apart and observing it.”

Did she have to be so condescending? With as deadpan a voice as I could muster, I replied, “It’s a phone, mate.”

“Maybe so, but it is incredibly fascinating. This phone accepts ‘calls’, yes?”

I gave a quick nod, unsure as to where this was going.

“Then, I have adapted it to respond to Equestrian magic.”

I opened my mouth to speak, mind full of questions, but I was quickly shut down by the princess.

“Do not ask because I will not explain. I have adapted this phone to respond to the individual magic of unicorns and alicorns. Upon interacting with it, they can access the phone at any time to call you directly. My sister shall now demonstrate.”

She did just explain it, but that was irrelevant because Luna was on her way. The short one took the phone from my grasp and fired a short burst of magic into it before disappearing in a flash of light. The phone didn’t seem to respond to the attack but started to ring soon after her disappearance. I was appalled at how quickly and easily my phone had been violated by the two sisters, but I proceeded to answer the call.

“GREETINGS, YOUNG HUMAN,” came an unnecessarily loud voice from the other side of the phone, unfortunately clear as day. “WE ARE MOST PROUD TO BE ACCESSING YOUR WAYS OF COMMUNICATION IN THE STYLE THAT YOU HUMANS POSSESS AND FLAUNT WITH SUCH RECKLESS ABANDON. MAY YOU RECIPROCATE OUR ENTHUSIASM AND RESPOND IN KIND WITH YOUR-”

“Off,” was all that I said as I ended the call with a slight huff. “What the hell was that? Christ, my ears hurt,” I muttered as I placed a hand over my left ear.

At that, Luna reappeared, sporting a large grin that was soon replicated by her sister. “Apologies, young human,” she announced with a laugh. “But I could not resist- it is not too often that I am allowed to play with my subjects without instilling fear.”

On a more positive note, it appeared that my belongings had survived the journey- everything from the shirt on my back (which I was oh-so grateful for) to my rucksack and the numerous miscellaneous items kept within. I nearly cried from the relief; simply putting the rucksack on made me feel a little bit safer.

There wasn’t much else to discuss after that, and our conversation had largely petered out when I heard a familiar voice calling out in a slight panic.

“Hmm… what…?”

I let out a long sigh; my day just got a lot harder.

“Eve…? Eve, wake up…!”

What followed was a brief pause, which gave way to muffled sobbing. I knew exactly who that voice belonged to, so, not wanting to keep a lady waiting, I asked Celestia to take me to the lost little girl.

Chapter 3: A Haphazard Hug

“The crying is coming from the throne room.”

“What are you waiting for, then? Take me there.”

“And what would you be able to do once you got there?”

“Whatever I need to do.”

I was exposed to another flash of light as the space around me began to fade away. Once my vision recovered, I was treated to the sight of a large throne room. From what I could see from my place behind the princesses, the room that I found myself in was both vibrant and lacking in equal measure.

The ceiling had a strange colour scheme that consisted of alternating shades of pink, with connecting pillars of similar shades that led to the marble floor below. An impractically long, red carpet led its way through the entirety of the room itself, providing a dead-straight path that led to the throne at the far end of the room.

As for the throne itself, it was fairly average and slightly disappointing if I’m being honest. Of course, it was similarly monstrous in size and adorned with gold and velvet cushions for comfort, but it was lacking any defining element and was a tad modest, all things considered. The mini waterfall near its base was a nice touch though.

Numerous panes of stained-glass representing events that I had no idea about adorned the walls of the room. Suns and moons were frequent throughout the artwork, naturally; I expected as much. Pastel shades of pinks, reds and baby blues were present throughout much of the panes.

“I can tell that this is a girl’s room,” I murmured to myself.

Due to the room’s size and throne, it had every right to be outrageously decadent. Yet it seemed unusually barren; aside from the throne itself, there was little furniture and fewer artifacts or royal memorabilia. The room seemed devoid of life at all- apart from the two little girls who lay in a heap just in front of the throne.

“Eva!”

The auburn-haired girl was the only one awake, so I called out to her while darting to her location. Upon hearing my voice, she turned to face me, giving me a full view of the sorrow on her face. It was clear to see why: her sister had not yet awakened. Panicked, I rushed over to Eve and leaned in to listen to her breathing.

I was relieved to hear her breaths and was willing to wait a while to see if she awoke on her own. The princess’ inaction made me feel more confident in my assertion; it wouldn’t be difficult to believe that they would have at least said something if there were any concerns with the child’s state. Even so, I still had one more sister to worry about, so I kneeled in front of Eva and pulled her into a secure embrace, which she happily sank into.

“Why won’t she wake up?” was all the girl in my arms could muster, her voice muffled by my shirt. She pushed away just enough to look into my eyes, demanding an answer, tears flowing freely as she assumed the worst for her sister. I pulled the girl back in again until I could feel her tears soak into my sleeve.

I tried to think of the correct words to say but I faltered once I looked into the forlorn girl’s eyes. What could I say? I had no idea what was going to happen. Sure, Eve would likely wake up at some point, but I couldn’t remember ever feeling this powerless.

Why were these two even here considering that this had nothing to do with them? This must have been some form of mistake, but the princesses seemed incapable of making any errors. The pessimistic side of my mind suggested that the girls were here to keep my honest, and I sided with that motion far than I had wanted to.

Maybe I should have considered the ethics of using two vulnerable, young children as glorified bargaining chips- but I was far too busy embracing one of those distressed girls whilst preventing my own tears from carving two separate paths down my face. I pulled Eva in again, instinctively stroking at her hair, attempting to calm her down. It appeared to have worked somewhat, as her sobbing was reduced to sniffling interrupted by small hiccups.

“Shh. It’s okay,” I began, keeping a hand on the back of Eva’s head. “She’s always been hard to wake up. Don’t you remember when it took us ten minutes to wake her up after the trip to Pengrove Park?” I wasn’t expecting this comment to change much, nor did I expect much of a response from Eva. I was correct on both counts as the girl in my arms wordlessly leaned further into me, clearly physically and mentally exhausted.

We both sat in that position for what may have been several minutes but the timing didn’t really matter. I only let the girl go because we were interrupted by the pull of a tiny hand on my sleeve. I kept my arms locked around Eva, but I turned my head to see the face of Eve, confused and overcome with emotion.

“Nice to see that you’ve decided to join us,” I beckoned her in with a smile. Unsurprisingly, the raven-haired girl followed Eva’s lead and wordlessly moved into my embrace, failing to keep herself from crying in front of her younger sister.

I had to repeat the process of comforting and consoling until I was satisfied that both of the little ones had calmed down. Having achieved this, I grabbed each girl by the shoulders and turned them towards the two princesses, who had finally begun to approach. Both Eve and Eva seemed just as concerned by their appearance as I was initially; a tight grip on a couple of fingers on each of my hands confirmed that to me.

“Do not be afraid, little ones,” Celestia implored in a slightly stilted way as she stepped towards us. Her voice had a definite calming effect on the two girls- or maybe they were too much in awe to really react. It was likely the latter, actually, as Eve looked as if she wanted to say something but was unable to speak.

She and her sister sat wordlessly as Celestia gave a similar explanation to them as she had given to me. I amusedly watched their faces change from confused to concerned and then back to confused, occasionally glancing towards me to gauge my reaction. If it was enough to melt my mind, I could only wonder what was going on in their little heads. To my surprise, Eva seemed fairly comfortable with the events that had transpired, as she scooted over towards me and leaned into my side again. Quite frankly, I was impressed with how well she was taking the news.

“So, wait.”

I was removed from my thoughts by the interruption of a disgruntled-looking Eve.

“What about school? And Mrs. Stuart? And…”

She trailed off, showing a similar confliction that I’d had before her.

“…We have show-and-tell tomorrow…”

Her face fell as she shuffled backwards, away from princesses. I wasn’t particularly happy with the idea of having to stop either of the girls from crying again, so I interjected before, I hoped, anyone got to that point.

“I know, Eve, but it’s okay. I need to do some little things and then we’ll go straight back,” I answered, doing my best to show her a small but strong smile. “It’ll be like a school trip- and we will be back in time for show-and-tell.”

The grin on my face felt hollow- unfortunately, some lies are necessary. Still, even if I didn’t believe a word of what I’d just said, I seemed to have partly satisfied Eve’s concerns. For now, at least.

“Let’s do it, Evie. It’ll be fun,” Eva contributed to the conversation, causing my heart to belt out a melancholy victory cry. I was caught off guard by her input, as did everyone, but this little speech seemed to have succeeded in igniting a fire in Eve’s eyes as she suddenly stood up, lending an arm for her sister to grab onto.

“Let’s go!” Eve shouted as she moved to pick up her and her sister’s bags, which were sat at the far side of the room. I also stood up in response to the girl’s call, crossing my arms in satisfaction.

“That’s more like the Eve I know.”

“But I’m hungry.”

There’s always something. Since Eve had brought her bag over towards me, I began rummaging through the girl’s bags in case she had any food left over from lunch.

“Hmm. Nothing here aside from some colouring books and an already-eaten lunch. Wait…!”

I pulled out a small box full of orange slices. “Eve, you told me you’d eaten your fruit!” I exclaimed, feeling several pangs of betrayal.

“I did. I ate a lot of it.”

Eve stood her ground and placed her hands on her hips in a mock display of annoyance. Her act failed as she looked at me and giggled, enjoying the novelty of the situation. I wasn’t planning on giving it up just yet, though.

“You didn’t: look at it. That’s barely even half!”

“That’s a lot.”

Her laughter increased in volume now, as did the muffled giggles from Eva behind me. I didn’t want to look at her directly, as I was worried that she would freeze up under the belief that she was doing something wrong, but I’d always be able to recognise that smile- even if she was only in the corner of my vision.

“What am I gonna do with you? You’re a menace, missy,” I laughed in response, poking Eve on the shoulder repeatedly as she also succumbed to a fit of giggles. Eva joined in as well and soon laughter echoed throughout the throne room. Even in a place as alien as this, I found solace in the fact that the three of us were able to hold on to some sense of normality. I had no idea what the princesses were thinking, but I’d like to believe that they were enjoying the jovial atmosphere.

Eva suddenly spoke up, saying, “Mr. Bayard? I’m hungry too.” She wasn’t usually one to complain, so it must have been serious.

“I’m not sure where we can get food right now. What would you want anyway?”

“Sausages!” the girls shouted in unison with a small jump.

“…I don’t think they serve sausages here, girls,” I replied, painfully aware of the common equine’s lack of need for sausage satiation. Celestia, however, had other ideas, preparing to blow my mind yet again.

“We do, as a matter of fact.”

“You what?”

Forgive me for the double take.

“We occasionally receive visitors who happen to be carnivorous, so we keep meat substitutes in the kitchen for that occasion. I will inform my chefs of your choice shortly.”

And with that, she had the gall to just walk off, leaving me absolutely stunned and the girls beside themselves with joy.

“Just don’t make it too much of a big deal!” I called out after her, hoping that she was still listening. “…Well, I wasn’t expecting that. I just want to go to bed.” I sat down on the floor with the intention of lying down and collecting my thoughts. I should’ve known that this would’ve been too convenient, as Eve soon turned to pester me.

“You can’t sleep now- let’s go explore!”

As tempted as I was to have a nap while waiting for dinner, I was certain to be outvoted two-to-one, with Eva looking just as excited to have a look around.

“I would be happy to give you a tour of our magnificent castle,” Luna added from her position near the door. If I would’ve squinted, I’m sure I would’ve made out the grin of someone who was enjoying my reluctance. But there was no use fighting it, so I relented quickly.

“Okay, fine. Let’s go have a butcher’s.”

Canterlot castle was much larger than I expected, as Luna’s painfully extensive tour confirmed. Our little bout of sightseeing was long enough for me to have had numerous encounters with ponies who were similar to the princesses, although much shorter in terms of height. To say that the ponies were surprised by mine and the girls’ presence would perhaps be an understatement. I think that they were laying it on a bit thick, the drama queens. I’m sure that the fainting was for show.

But, considering the situation, I wasn’t too surprised by the stares and nervous glances of the staff and nobles milling about the entrance to the castle. Luckily for me, Luna’s presence seemed to be enough to calm most of the ponies around us as we continued our trip through the castle grounds.

Speaking of the moon princess, she spoke with the pride and enthusiasm of a mother overestimating her child. And as those speeches tend to go, it served only to make me uncomfortable and make the girls wish that they were somewhere else. Needless to say, dinnertime couldn’t have come sooner.

And what an underwhelming looking meal it was, too. My request for a simpler meal was more than fulfilled; a smattering of admittedly delicious sausages were haphazardly piled amidst several mountains of vegetables that Eve refused to eat. The meal itself almost looked like…

“Even in a fantasy world I can’t escape school dinners,” I lamented as I cut up Eva’s food. Either the chefs here didn’t have a positive opinion of preparing meat or my desire for simplicity was taken a little bit too seriously. Either way, the girls had no complaints as they chewed away contentedly. I was similarly quite content, presentation aside. I made a mental note to ask Luna about how other species were treated in Equestria; I might as well know what I’m getting to.

Eve spoke up in between bites.

“This is nice! What’s for pudding?”

“Eve,” I reprimanded. “This isn’t your personal restaurant- don’t be rude.” She answered my scolding by showing me a large grin, the enjoyment clear on her face. Having checked on one sister, I then glanced over Eva, who seemed to be similarly content. I was glad that they both were handling the situation well, but I knew that serious discussions would need to be had once the novelty of all this wore off.

For the time being, however, it seemed that Eve’s bluntness was to be rewarded again, as Celestia- who had been waiting for some time now- announced of plans for dessert. As she left, she asked me to follow her, which I reluctantly agreed to.

Celestia didn’t appear to have a destination in mind, instead deciding to merely roam the hallways. Assuming this to be true, I broke the silence, stating, “I do appreciate you letting us stay here, even if this is your fault.” The princess seemed to ignore the last part of my comment as she nodded in acknowledgement before speaking.

“Thank you, I suppose. Again, I am sorry about the way things transpired but I promise only the finest comfort for you and your little friends. Believe me- you aren’t a bother. As a matter of fact, I find it quite refreshing; I haven’t seen this place so lively since Twilight was a young filly.”

“Who’s that?”

“She is the student I mentioned earlier. The one you promised to meet, remember?”

“Is she as mental as everything else here?”

Celestia said nothing, likely with the knowledge that the silence said far more than she ever could. I gulped harshly before continuing with my questions. “So… you two have a bit of history then?”

“She worked very closely under my wing, showing great magical prowess. But she was lacking socially. It was only after she opened herself up to others that she showed real progress in her studies. She was always a gifted young unicorn who was destined for big things. I am not surprised that she has accomplished everything she has.”

I didn’t really know what to say about that, so I pondered over what the princess had said. Studious and anti-social. Unable to get very far without seeking out others. Probably autistic. I didn’t have much else to go off of, and I wasn’t that bothered to be honest, so I quickly changed the subject.

“Well, Luna showed me where I’d be sleeping. I presume I’ll be sharing a room with those two because that room was the only bedroom that she showed us.”

“I am sure that my sister considered the need for you three to stay in the same room whilst she was showing you around the castle. With that said, you are free to have any of the other bedrooms as your own- you need only to ask.”

“How considerate.”

Despite the sarcasm in my reply, truth be told, I was quite touched at the consideration. I already knew that Luna would be proved correct in her assumption of the three of us needing to stay together, if the clingy attitude the girls had with me at school was anything to go by. With everything that had happened so far, I was slightly worried about how the night was going to pan out.

Dessert passed by quickly with great enthusiasm as the light of day was quickly replaced by the gentle shine of the moon. The stars were already well acquainted with the night sky by the time I realised that I’d need to put the girls to bed. They both knew it too, as Eve fought to keep her eyes open, and Eva had dropped the idea of staying awake altogether. And so, with many yawns and complaints, I was led back to the room where the three of us could rest our weary heads.

I had a hard time identifying the room from the outside as the door followed the same ‘plain white with gold borders’ colour scheme of the rest of the hall. The inside continued this simple theme as it consisted of two double beds on either side of the room with a desk sandwiched in between. I quite liked its simplicity: it was small, well-maintained and made me feel at ease as I moved to place Eve on her and her sister’s new bed.

“…No…I don’t wanna go to bed yet…I’m not tired,” came the tired voice of Eve, defiant to the end. No matter how hard her mind resisted, her body had given up on her and she was now at the mercy of the soft mattress beneath her. Eva gave no such resistance and welcomed her place of rest next to her sister.

With that done, and with Celestia out the way, I stood out on the large balcony of my shared room, taking in the landscape. The night air was cool and refreshing; a slightly higher temperature than the winter air that I’d experienced the day before. It reminded me of a night in March, when the air had the capacity to either carry a cold snap or a post-winter thaw. I loosened my shirt slightly, popping open a couple of buttons as I took in the view of the night sky and the city below.

It wasn’t too late in the night, so there were still some small groups of ponies milling around. I was too far up to see if the ponies had horns or wings, but I was certain the majority of them would be unicorns, provided the ponies that I’d seen during my look around the castle were any indication. Interestingly, many of them seemed to be wearing formal wear despite the princesses wearing no clothing at all. I was willing to shrug it off under the belief that clothing was more of a commodity than a necessity. That, or the princesses were the leaders of a nudist colony.

Nice.

There was a notable lack of stallions in my vision- I could tell all the way from up here- with mares outnumbering them about five-to-one. Both why this was the case and the logistics of this assumption baffled me somewhat. There were surely things that I would need to just accept and get used to, but it would never hurt to ask the next time I got the opportunity.

I found the inhabitants of this city more interesting than the city itself- but that didn’t mean that Canterlot wasn’t a sight to behold in its own right. Although it looked like a city should, with several large buildings resembling cafés, theatres and libraries, the overall presentation of the city felt archaic yet new at the same time. Simple roads created rivers of stone that modestly flowed past buildings that consisted of bright colours and harsh edges. I could just about make them out, with the dim city lights illuminating the roads like fireflies.

Although clearly not the work of nature, the city seemed to have been crafted with its consent, as the plant life synthesised with the city boundaries in relative harmony. There were numerous areas where the flowers could grow in peace, far more so than the natural parks of the cities that I was familiar with.

I was enjoying my inspection, learning more about the place that I found myself in, but I was soon interrupted by a weak pull on my right hand. I already knew what that meant and, sure enough, I turned around to find the despondent pairing of the two sisters.

“You alright?” I asked, more out of courtesy than anything else; it was clear that they were in a great deal of discomfort. The girls answered me with gentle shakes of their heads. And then, in one swift motion, they pulled me inside.

“I can’t sleep, Mr. Bayard,” Eve complained as she pointed at her bed. “Doesn’t feel right.”

“You don’t really need to call me Mr. Bayard right now,” I remarked offhandedly as the thought popped into my head.

“Why?”

“There’s just no point right now. Just call me ‘David’ because that’s my name. Or Mr. Bayard- whichever you prefer. As for you lot having trouble sleeping… I don’t know what to say about that, really. Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?”

I managed to get the girls settled down again, waiting beside them until I heard them begin to snore, so I moved to resume my inspection of the city. I should’ve known that it was never going to be that easy, as I was quickly interrupted again with the same tug on my arm. The events of the day had thoroughly worn me down as I wheeled around in frustration, but my concerns evaporated as I looked into a pair of tearful, brown eyes. There Eva stood, in a pathetic display of powerlessness.

“Can’t you sleep?” I asked her softly. Eva shook her head in response, rubbing at one of her eyes with her free hand.

“No,” she whispered in between sniffles. I readied myself to being pulled inside again, but Eva simply stood beside me, holding onto my arm and sucking on her thumb.

“Stay with me,” she implored me once she’d removed her thumb from her mouth, grabbing my arm and pressing it against the side of her head.

“I’ll take you back to bed but then I need to-”

“No!” came what could be considered a shout by Eva’s standards. She fought back tears as she glanced up at me with a determined look. “Stay with me. Please, David.”

Maybe it was me hearing my name being said in such a manner. Maybe it was the tranquillity of the space around me. Or maybe I subconsciously wanted this to be done with. Either way, I crumbled immediately.

“Fine, okay. If it’ll help you fall asleep.”

My reply was earnest and perhaps hinted at too much emotion, no doubt due to my voice cracking halfway through for whatever reason. I worked to keep any concerns at bay as I was led back to the side of Eva’s bed. I sat down next to it as I looked at the teary-eyed girl, our faces now level.

“Is this okay, cherub?” I asked, gently removing my hand from hers. She replied with a fragile smile and a nod before climbing back into bed. Once she was tucked in, she locked eyes with me and offered me her hand. Rather than sit there all night with my hand stretched out, I slumped down and rested my head between Eva’s hand and the bed. Once I’d stopped moving, Eva retracted her hand slightly until it slumped over the top of my head.

“I told you Eve was a heavy sleeper,” I whispered, unsure if Eva was awake anymore. I couldn’t see her face from where I sat, but the softening of her breathing made me confident that her eyes were beginning to close.

“Try and get some sleep, though, okay? There’ll be a lot to do tomorrow.”

I didn’t expect to receive a response, but I kept going, regardless.

“Well done for doing so well today. I know it was a lot for you- for all of us, even- but you did it and you should be proud. At least know that I’m proud- even if you’re not proud of yourself.”

I’m not sure how long I sat there for, with Eva’s hand resting on top of my head in a sort of haphazard hug. It couldn’t have been too long, as my idle thoughts were quickly replaced by the cold embrace of a night’s sleep.

Chapter 4: You're My Best Friend Too

“Dad, my university’s holding an open day in August.”

“Well, why don’t we have a day out in Liverpool, then- to see where you’re actually going to be for three years.”

“That actually might be quite helpful.”

“Of course- I’d like to know where you are, you’d like to know where you are, and you can guarantee your mum would like to know where you are…”

“…C’mon, Mr. Bayard! Wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up!”

The sensation of several fingers poking my face signalled the end of my slumber. Clearly, some people didn’t respect the need for sleep, and it showed. In my stupor, I could feel the warmth of the sunlight creep up my skin, suggesting that it was indeed time to get up. Unable to shake off this suggestion, I reluctantly opened my eyes to see the grinning faces of the two children that I was stuck with. Regretting my existence, I rose from my painful position by the side of the bed and rubbed my lower back like somebody fifty years older.

And I would’ve happily stayed like that as well, if I hadn’t been tackled from behind so that I landed semi-painfully on the bed that I’d worked so hard to remove myself from.

“Hmm…”

I groaned as I forced myself to sit up and face the two sisters, who seemed just as ecstatic as before. “What was that for?”

“Good- you’re up! Let’s play!” Eve exclaimed, completely ignoring what I’d asked her. Eva showed a similar level of reckless abandon as she grabbed her sister by the shoulders and pulled her backwards, engaging in a mini-tussle that was indicative of an excess of energy and excitement. I was impressed; I’d rarely seen Eva this energetic. Maybe she was a morning person.

“Hey, hey!” I half-shouted, quickly finding my energy. I split the girls up with ease before giving them both a comforting shove. Neither sister was particularly happy with this as they, with a laugh, began their counterattack, pushing against me with all their strength. If I was still half-asleep, I may have fallen victim to their assault- but I was able to stand firm in my wakefulness.

Through the giggling, I spoke again.

“Before anything, you need to have a wash and eat some breakfast.”

“Oh…”

“I can’t wash myself.”

“Ah. That’s a bit of a problem.”

It was a problem. So much of a problem in fact, that I needed a moment to think of a plan of action. After all, I may have been in a fantasy world where reality didn’t apply at points, but I wasn’t planning on doing anything that could cause me a lot of grief. I didn’t fancy joining a very special list when I got back home.

“Erm… let me get someone to… help you with that,” I called out over my shoulder as I headed for the door.

“Why don’t you do it?” Eve asked with a naivety that I really didn’t need right now. I thought about the best way to phrase this as I turned to face her.

“Because it’s weird.”

Close enough.

“Why?”

“Because it’s not something that I should be doing- and the police would agree with me,” I tried to explain, knowing how futile my explanation would likely be. Of course, the girls’ blank faces showed that they had no idea what I was talking about. “It’s just not something that a teacher should be doing.”

“Please?” implored Eve. Due to what she was asking me to do, I struggled to look at her as I thought of the best way to turn her down. The only problem with that action was that, as I averted my gaze, my eyes fell upon Eva, whose pleading face took the decision away from me. Am I an awful person?

“You must’ve practiced that face at some point.”

After many trials and tribulations- which I will never describe- I painfully and awkwardly did what I had to do and got the girls ready for breakfast. I showered alone and emerged once the two girls had finished getting dressed, with Eve helping to button up her sister’s cardigan. At least I could still count on their camaraderie, and I was quietly looking forward to the day ahead.

Breakfast came quickly, as the princesses were already awake and currently eating, just like normal people do. I immediately fulfilled a morning tradition of drinking my tea and complaining about how early I was forced to wake up, though everyone else just ignored me and ate their breakfast. The girls were happily sat at a small table, watching me pace back and forth between bites.

I would’ve sat down, but the tables in this place were so short that I’d never be able to sit down comfortably. In fact, the short tables and bright colours made me feel as if I’d never even left the bloody classroom. Of course, I’d been offered a bigger chair, but… I needed my tea first. Eva didn’t seem to understand my grumpiness as she focused more on her shoes, swinging her feet back and forth underneath the table as she continued to wordlessly eat.

Not only was it early- honestly, it was- but the castle was also a bit hotter than I would’ve liked. The breeze was minimal, leaving a stagnant, stuffy warmth that reminded me that the girls’ uniforms and winter coats were now woefully inadequate for the temperature. Those two didn’t seem to mind, naturally, as they ruthlessly destroyed the meal in front of them. I guess another good thing about those two was that they’d eat just about anything if they were hungry enough.

“Hey, can I get these two some new clothes?” I asked Celestia, my mouth half-full of egg. “I doubt they want to spend all their time in uniform.” I gestured towards the pair with my tea mug, causing some of its contents to splash onto the floor.

“I thought we weren’t supposed to talk with our mouths full,” Eve remarked whilst still engrossed in her toast, pointing a fork in my general direction accusingly.

“Shush, you. I can because I’m a grown-up.”

I pulled out my new chair and sat next to the girls as they finished up. I may’ve been complaining a lot, but truth be told, I’d gotten used to not eating a lot of breakfast- and the ones that I did eat were never as good as this. Marmite can only get you so far.

“I have already made such arrangements," Celestia suddenly interjected, although I’d forgotten I’d even asked her a question at that point. “I have written to Twilight, and she has told me that her friend is willing to help you. I have also been told that she is excited to meet you.” She poured herself some orange juice as she spoke. Her ability to do this from across the room made my head hurt.

“As is most of Canterlot- take a look at this,” Luna added as she entered the conversation, focused on something. “You’ve made quite a splash.” She levitated a smaller-than-average newspaper towards me. An aggravatingly clear closeup of my lifeless face was printed across the front page. Sure enough, the emergence of a new species generated some media attention. The level of detail in the picture was uncomfortable, though; the photographer could’ve at least given me the opportunity to fix my hair if pictures were required.

“Where the f…” I began before stopping myself, Eve’s grin reminding me of who I was speaking in front of. “Where were there cameras? I barely even went outside, and I didn’t see any flashes. But that might have been because I’d turned my brain off after the first hour you spent chatting about some random wall or some sh…”

I trailed off again as I held my tongue and thought of something more appropriate to say. “Oh, whatever- it doesn’t really matter. As long as I don’t get ganked, I guess it doesn’t really affect me.” I put the newspaper down on the table and turned my attention back towards back towards the princesses.

“Hey, that’s me!” Eve shouted to immediately break my train of thought. She roughly grabbed the paper and scanned the picture on the front. “And, Eva, look- there’s you, too!”

“Where? Where?” Eva asked frantically, gripping the paper with such force that she managed to rip the paper in half, causing a clean tear through the picture that she was trying to focus on.

“You see, this is why I can never leave you two alone,” I softly reprimanded the girls as I snatched what was left of the newspaper. I didn’t want to go any further with it, and the girls’ apologetic faces suggested that they accepted responsibility. That was good enough for me, so I turned to Celestia and tried to re-focus on the plan. I even packed my bag in preparation as I spoke.

“I’ll get these two sorted in a minute. Just tell me where we’re going.”

“Where are we going again?” Eve called over her shoulder as she looked down at the fields below her, the wind blowing through her hair. We’d found ourselves inside a large, golden chariot that was currently being pulled by a group of pegasi. Pegasuses? Pegases?

We were also travelling at much too high a speed and much too high above the ground. I should’ve been concerned for the safety of my students, but I was currently more focused on keeping down the eggs that I’d had for breakfast.

“We’re going to a town called ‘Ponyville’ to meet up with somebody who can make some clothes for you,” I replied, having to raise my voice in order to be heard over the rushing air. I was worried that Eve was going to fall out with the way that she’d scooted over towards the carriage’s edge, so I beckoned her to sit down next to me.

With that, I sat down and suffered through the motion sickness, with Eva plastered to my side. Her eyes had been screwed shut ever since we took to the skies; she was doing all she could to block out the sensations from being up so high. Her hug was so tight that my ribs were getting sore, but I didn’t really mind too much. I was content with ruffling the girl’s hair as the wind threatened to ruin the messy bun atop her head.

“I don’t like it,” were the only words I could get Eva to utter throughout the entire journey. Luckily for her, the ride was proving to be a short one, with the pegasi covering an impressive distance in a short length of time. I grabbed my rucksack in preparation for the descent as we were quickly approaching a small village.

“What’s that?” Eve asked, pointing towards a large coin pouch that I was pulling out from my bag.

“Payment, apparently. Although I don’t see how anyone could earn this much just from clothes. I have half a mind to keep it for myself, to be honest.”

“But that’s not very nice.”

Eve pointed a finger at me in a playful impersonation of what I must be like at school. Whether I actually was that much a grumpy bastard or not remains to be seen.

“I know, I know- don’t worry. I think we’re here now, anyway.”

Our descent was quick and painless, as was Eva’s dismount. She seemed to be much happier on the ground. Eve and I followed suit and moved to pick up the disoriented girl. Once Eva regained her bearings, the three of us looked around to figure out where we were.

We appeared to have landed in the centre of a small village that was entirely different to Canterlot. None of us had been far outside of the castle- and even then, we’d stayed in the city. This place was something else. It looked like a glorification of old, medieval villages, with dirt roads and thatched housing that stretched out in neat rows. I mean, yeah, they were likely to go up in flames quicker than medieval London if there was ever a fire- but they certainly looked nice. Off to the side, I noticed a small market nearby that was generating a lot of activity.

From a cursory glance, Ponyville seemed to mostly be home to ponies who had neither wings nor horns, leading me to suspect that the more primitive look of the town may have been caused by the limitations that lacking in either of those body parts may cause. To be fair, though, I was impressed that those hooves could accomplish this much.

“Where do we go?” Eva asked from my side. I gave her a quick squeeze.

“I’m not sure, cherub,” I answered, looking nervously towards the crowds in the market. “Gimme a second.”

I’d originally planned to ask somebody for directions, but I quickly decided against the idea; I hadn’t even done anything yet, but I was already receiving stares from everyone around me. That wouldn’t’ve been so bad, but the stares themselves ranged from nervous to ‘Enemy of the State’. The constant surveillance set off my anxiety to no end, putting me off from attracting any more attention than I already had.

Eve, however, had other ideas. She immediately made a beeline for the nearest pony she saw: a purple mare who was heading towards us at a similar breakneck pace.

The pony in question was a great deal shorter than either of the princesses, yet she had the same ‘horn and wings’ combination. She also had a slightly pudgier build, but her thin, lilac coat did well to hide this. Her mane was styled simply and flapped messily in the wind as she galloped. It lacked the dynamic movement or sparkle of the princesses’ manes, making her seem simpler and ordinary in comparison.

“Excuse me?” Eve asked as she flagged down the panting, purple pony pacing towards her. “Do you know where there’s a lady who makes clothes?”

In a fantastic display of absentmindedness, the purple pony ignored the child flagging her down and instead focused solely on me. She spent an awful long time looking into my eyes for some reason, giving me a chance to examine hers in turn. The large, purple orbs were lively and expressive, though I had a hard time figuring out what emotion they were conveying.

“Hello!” she said after an uncomfortably long time with a wave that looked only slightly less uncomfortable. “You must be the human.”

“A very astute observation, madam,” I replied as I focused on the mare’s bright colours. “I am indeed ‘the human’, alongside these other ‘the human’.”

“Ooh, good! My name is Twilight Sparkle. Uh, welcome to Ponyville. I hear you’re looking for my friend Rarity. Don’t worry; the princesses told me you’d be coming.”

“It’s a pleasure, Miss Sparkle. My name’s David. David Bayard. So, you’re that Twilight girl, then? Celestia told me a bit about you.”

“Pleased to meet you- and please call her Princess Celestia. She is a princess, after all,” she mentioned with a knowing wink that I didn’t understand. Still, with the obligatory introductions over with, I could get down to more important matters.

“You’re not as socially inept as I thought you’d be,” I remarked without a hint of self-awareness.

“…Thanks?” Twilight questioned, unsure of her own answer. “Umm…is that a…nice thing to say where you come from?” She averted her gaze and stared at the ground, confused as to how she should feel in the face of such a backhanded compliment.

“Oh, there it is,” I declared with a self-congratulatory fold of my arms. While I was being unhelpful, I caught sight of Eve and Eva who were simply sat down on a patch of grass nearby, watching this disaster unfold. After another uncomfortable silence, Twilight composed herself and tried again.

“I heard you needed to see my friend Rarity?”

“Yeah, I need her for some clothes. You alright showing us the way?”

“Of course! I was planning to take you to Rarity’s after meeting you here anyway, but…” she trailed off again with further embarrassment. It was so palpable that even I could feel it now.

Not that this stopped me from pressing the issue.

“…you were late?”

“…Yeah.”

This conversation was going nowhere, so I turned my focus back to Eve and Eva. I gestured for them to stand up as I planned to leave, but Twilight seemed unwilling to let me go.

“Are these two your foals?” she asked, having acknowledged the two girls for the first time in this conversation.

“Foals?” I questioned back. It took me a while to process what she was suggesting, but I eventually put the pieces together. “Oh, you mean like if they’re my kids?”

The girls became very animated at the mention of this. In a flash, Eva had adopted her standard place at my side whilst Eve circled around the two of us in a restless orbit. “Easy, now, you two,” I reassured the pair. “You’ve both been full of energy today. But to answer your question, Twilight-”

“-He’s our teacher!” Eve interrupted without a moment’s hesitation. She gestured to me with both hands, leaving me awkwardly standing there, desperate for her to keep talking. “Y’see, we were at school and then we got kidnapped-”

“-Kidnapped?!”

“Where did you learn a word like that-”

“-And then we went to a big castle and it was huge and we walked around for a bit and we had a hug and we-we-we ate and w-w-w-we-we-”

“Calm down and think about what you’re gonna say,” I softly reminded her, placing my hands on her shoulders to try and absorb some of her energy.

“-And it was really fun!” Eva piped up with a shrill cry of joy. Now that Eve was contained, I removed my hands from one girl’s shoulders and placed them on the other’s to congratulate the little one on her contribution. Twilight wasn’t quite as enthused.

“Oh, that’s nice,” she replied dismissively. Despite the mare’s half-hearted reply, Eva was as happy as can be with her congratulatory pat, and that was all that I cared about. This random mare’s opinion of me or my students was barely even a consideration. Nevertheless, I still had something to say.

“Can you move a bit back from me, please? You’re a bit close.”

It appeared that Eve’s verbal accident had caused to Twilight to absentmindedly wander towards me. So much so, that she’d somehow ended up only a few inches from me, violating my personal space.

“But she gets to hug you,” Twilight pouted pathetically. Her close proximity was quickly drawing some inquisitive stares from passersby as they filtered from the market; this was quickly becoming too much, too soon.

“I don’t even know who you are.”

“My name is Twilight Spark-”

“Yeah-no, stop.”

I sighed as I took a step back; Eva practically fell over herself as she attempted to come with me. “Just think about personal space, okay?” I offered this to Twilight, who nodded in apparent understanding. I sighed again. In the future, I’ll need to check on this mare from time to time- just to put my mind at ease.

“Shall we go then?”

Twilight must’ve taken the long way round to Rarity’s, considering that she’d managed to finish off all of her questions right at the moment she reached the door. Naturally, this didn’t mean that the girls and I were there with her, as I had long before dragged the girls to hide behind a conveniently placed tree. Honestly, the amount of effort Twilight placed into her interrogation terrified me. She also showed an abnormal interest in my fingers; the implications of that are unclear to me.

Luckily, she seemed to have settled herself into a rhythm of absentmindedly talking to herself, as if she was programmed to do so. Unfortunately, her one-sided conversation was coming to a close, so I had to entice Eve and Eva out from our hiding place and reluctantly join the dozy mare.

Twilight had stopped in front of a large (for this village’s standards) building that resembled a spruced-up carousel. Very literally a carousel, in fact, as a sign above the door read ‘Carousel Boutique’. At least, that was what Twilight claimed it said.

“What’s a carousel?” Eva asked me as her eyes looked over the building in front of her.

“Erm, it’s like a merry-go-round. Y’know, like one of those things that you might see at a funfair with the horses on the poles.”

“Oh. We’ve been on one of those!” the auburn-haired girl shouted in reply. She grabbed her sister for emphasis and held onto her hand as they both skipped up to the entrance. From there, they gazed up at the pastel-coloured walls that housed little frills and spiers that jutted out from the roof of the building. I was less focused on this- I was trying to deal with the problem at hand.

“-Yeah, that’s sound, that. Thanks, Twilight,” I spat out on arrival, hoping to complete the mare’s internal monologue.

She beamed as she looked up at me with eyes full of wonder and… unbound curiosity. “You’re very welcome,” she said with a spring in her step. “This is where my friend Rarity works most of the time. She should be just inside.”

“Thank you, Twilight. That was…very helpful.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…Y-You can go now.”

“Sorry.”

Twilight did as she was told, leaving in what I could hope was high spirits. I felt a strong urge for a shot of whiskey as I pushed myself through the grand, purple door of the boutique. As I massaged my aching mind, Eve and Eva scampered underneath my outstretched arm and into the carousel’s interior.

“It’s definitely bigger on the inside.”

The door opened to reveal a large room filled with pony-shaped mannequins and curtains not too dissimilar to those found inside clothing stores. It certainly looked like a clothing store, with a selection of dresses in a variety of colours and styles hidden off to the side. Each one looked to be crafted with passion and a deep understanding of the suitor, assumedly.

The room itself was cluttered, but in a controlled way; it looked as if everything had a place but there just wasn’t enough space for it. It was the sign of a restless mind and it gave me more confidence in this pony’s ability as a supposed seamstress.

From what I’d seen, it was clear that many buildings in this land seemed to share the same pastel (usually pink) colour scheme and the boutique was no exception. Comprised almost wholly of different shades of pink, the room actually looked slightly more regal in its shading compared to the throne room in Canterlot Castle. Large frills combined with simple decorations that hung down from above to give the space a more refined and almost soothing feel. The flooring made excellent use of darker shades of purple to further contribute to this calming atmosphere.

At least, I found it calming.

“Look at all the pink!” Eve shouted as she tore off towards the centre of the room, finding a large mirror and poking at her reflection as if it was the first time that she’d seen it. I was surprised when Eva decided against following her, although that certainly made life easier for me.

“Eve- this isn’t your house. Calm it down,” I lightly reprimanded from my position near the door. I would’ve been firmer, but at least no one had done anything destructive. Her actions were making me reconsider my stance, though, as my warning had done little to change her activity, although someone else’s was due to change that.

“You really should listen to the gentlecolt, darling. I’m sure he’s aware of proper etiquette.”

Eve froze in place at the sound of this new voice, taken off-guard by its entry into her space. Eva and I, however, had no such troubles as we tracked the source of the voice to a small, white unicorn who was gently trotting down the stairs at the far end of the room.

Now, I don’t claim to have any knowledge of the society that I was currently in, but even I could tell that this pony was very high up on the social ladder. Her snow-white coat was the first indication, but it was the way that she accentuated her already-pristine natural appearance that demonstrated her class.

Her face was decorated with a thick layer of make-up that should have appeared gaudy but instead was masterfully applied to bring a shine and glint to the mare’s face that even the princesses had yet to replicated. Had the blue of her eyes been sapphires, they would have been the most sought-after gem in the land, but her mascara and lashes made them look truly priceless.

Much like her make-up, her purple mane had been wonderfully curled in a painstaking way that must have taken months to be able to recreate- let alone master. Her tail was a similar story and worked with her mane to create a ribbon of perfection that danced in time with her body’s movements.

In other words, she was difficult to miss; she seemed to be a lady that everybody wanted to know, so I began the obligatory introduction.

“Good afternoon, madam. I’m assuming you must be Rarity. Sorry about her behaviour,” I stated, gesturing towards the sorry-looking child as she plodded back to my side.

“It’s a pleasure, darling. I have been told that you have been sent here to see me- and sent by the princesses, no less! Something about a new arrival to Equestria needing a few things in order to settle in. You require new garments, yes? Well, I shall do my best to craft something befitting of your tastes.”

Much like Twilight before her, Rarity spoke somewhat absentmindedly, although not to the same extent. She kept her eyes closed for much of her speech and didn’t seem to expect any input from any of us as she spoke with few pauses.

“As for the little ones, it’s quite alright. Young fillies do have the habit of messing around at times, do they not?”

Her diction and intonations carried a level of pomposity that reminded me of the callous and clueless upper class of my own world. Luckily for me, Rarity spoke with a genuine earnestness that dispelled any negative connotations that would have otherwise come to mind.

“And how are the little ones? Such adorable creatures. What were you called, again? Humans? Yes, humans.”

“Hiya!” Eve broke Rarity away from her reverie with an enthusiastic wave.

“Lovely to meet you. Eve, if I remember?” Rarity asked. In response, Eve gave a big grin and nodded her head vigorously. Since Twilight never got within ten feet of the girls, Rarity standing this close to Eve gave me insight as to how short the average pony was. When Rarity stood near Eve in order to speak with her, the two weren’t too dissimilar in height. It was kind of adorable, actually.

“And who might this adorable little one be?” Rarity continued her questions as she turned towards my little grouping in a mildly aggressive manner. Eva tensed up when she was confronted, but I kept her close and gave her a few pats on her right shoulder as an indication of security. With this, she gave her name.

“Eva.”

The girl’s voice was soft and wavered as she fought through the two syllables, but she nevertheless got the information across.

“Yeah, she gets a bit overwhelmed when she gets put in new situations- and I think she’s had a lifetime of ‘em over the past two days,” I explained. Not wishing to press the conversation further, Rarity gave a nod of agreement and moved deeper into the boutique, gesturing for us to follow.

“I will happily craft some clothing for you and your foals- provided I can take some measurements.”

The mare led us into what was likely the backroom of the boutique, with several changing cubicles on the left hand-side. You could tell that this place wasn’t meant to be seen from the outside, as bare mannequins, or the pony equivalent, were scattered throughout the area. It was also a tad darker than the rest of the building, likely due to the lack of natural light, making the room seem slightly more imposing than it needed to be.

“Who do you want first, then?” I asked the mare as my eyes adapted to the difference in brightness.

“I’ll start with the smallest and then I’ll work my way up.”

“I guess that’s you, Eva.”

Eva stopped dead in her tracks and increased the tightness of her grip on my arm. She looked up at me with fear in her large eyes and gave constant quick shakes of her head. The speed at which she shook her head made her look as if she was trembling more than rejecting the idea. I had no chance of fighting that.

“Let’s do Eve’s first,” I offered as Eve gave me a thumbs-up. “They’re basically the same height. Would you be able to just make hers the same or just a bit shorter?” I knew that my question was a bit dopey- ironically the kinds of questions that caused me to hate customer service, but… okay, I don’t really have an excuse for it.

“It’s not quite what I had in mind…” Rarity answered. “But I shall make it work. First, I will need her to remove her clothes.”

“What?!” came a harmony of three stunned voices.

“How else can I assure that my measurements are accurate?” Rarity asked blankly, unaware of the meaning behind her request.

Rarity’s attempts at justifying her request may have gotten her far with ponies- but they would have been grounds for arrest anywhere else. The sensitivity of the topic soon dawned on her as the two sisters backed away from the mare and towards the relative safety of me and my grumpy old face. Eve hid her face and covered her still-clothed torso with her arms in embarrassment.

“Mrs. Stuart told us not to take our clothes off for strangers,” Eva mumbled as she failed to make eye contact with the puzzled mare.

“Well, Mrs. Stuart is very right! Look, I need these two to stay fully clothed.”

“Judging by your reactions, I believe I may have said something uncouth. Well, I suppose they can keep them on,” she conceded, curling her mane with a hoof. “But it won’t be quite as accurate.”

“Absolutely fine by me,” I insisted. “Please, just know that clothing is a requirement for humans and not a preference.”

“I’m sorry- I did not realise that clothing was so necessary for you all. I would be happy to continue as they are,” Rarity answered, batting her eyelashes up at me to try and dispel the tension. She must’ve been used to getting what she wanted as her actions instantly swayed my simple mind. Eve appeared to have been convinced as well, as, after receiving a confirmatory nod from myself, moved forward into the waiting measuring tape of our local seamstress.

Rarity was one to overly apologise, it seemed, as she worked her way through measuring the three of us. Every momentary silence that arose was used by the seamstress to apologise time and time again for her conduct. She needn’t have bothered; all had been forgiven and chalked off as an unfortunate misunderstanding. She was quick in her actions, though, completing all the measurements of what were undoubtably strange, otherworldly creatures in no time at all.

“You’re very talented in your craft, madam,” I remarked as I watched the unicorn’s efforts at her sewing station. Rarity merely hummed away as these words likely passed her by, not fully resonating in her mind as she applied her full focus to her work. Despite my notably limited efforts, I found no enjoyment in this exchange, so I turned my head to see how Eve and Eva were keeping themselves occupied.

I silently congratulated myself for stuffing some colouring books in my bag before I left, since that seemed to be the only thing that kept the two of them focused for long periods of time. Also, colouring was fun, and there was bugger all else to do aside from listen to the unending whir of Rarity’s sewing machine.

Things continued like this for some time; I was quite proud of the way that I’d worked through several pictures. But soon enough, Rarity had finished her work and, with a beam, trotted over towards us with her finished products. I don’t know what coma the mare must’ve fallen into when making our clothes, but Christ, she’d made far more than I could’ve asked for- or reasonably expected. I got my money pouch out of my bag and kissed it goodbye as Rarity made her way over to us.

Three equally large stacks of brightly coloured clothing preceded the seamstress, each item showing off a different style or decoration- bows, ribbons and frills galore. Looking at the stacks, I was glad that I’d gotten across the idea of underwear and tights, as the girls’ clothing looked to consist almost entirely of skirts and dresses.

“Bloody hell, this is incredible!” I exclaimed with genuine amazement. “How the hell did you do all this? And where did you even get all the materials from?” I’d never seen anything like it. If these dresses and whatnot were half as good as the stuff that shipped in from Bangladesh, we’d be set for years.

Rarity gave an exaggerated bow, dipping her head to hide her blush.

“It was a pleasure. I do hope that I may see the three of you wear these garments with pride in the future.”

“Now here comes the painful part: how much?”

The dread was almost certainly clear in my voice as I looked at my coin pouch with teary-eyed nostalgia. It was a sad day for bank accounts everywhere, but I had to give credit where it was due- even if it was financial credit.

“More than you could afford, darling. But please, see this as a welcoming present.”

“Yeah, no.”

I couldn’t let such an obvious display of overindulgence slide. With a slight glare, I lobbed the money bag towards Rarity, who caught it easily despite the surprised look on her face. “I have no idea how much that is, but I’ve been told it’ll cover the expenses.”

I must’ve given her a lot, because the seamstress opened her mouth to protest without even checking the bag’s contents. Again, I wasn’t letting this situation turn out any other way, lest I be haunted by this feeling forever.

“And if you even think about giving it back, I’ll chuck it straight back in your face and run.” My response may’ve been blunt, but I felt that I’d said enough. I may’ve done, but that didn’t stop Rarity from protesting.

“But this is so much! I would never- no, I could never…!”

I scoffed at the unicorn’s apparent inner turmoil; she may have put on a good show, but there was no hiding the grin on her face.

“Just keep the bloody thing, okay? You’ve earned it, hasn’t she, girls?”

Eve made some strange cheer that vaguely resembled a ‘yeah’ whilst she moved towards the pile of clothes that Rarity had put down earlier. With a rush of adrenaline, she roughly yanked a yellow dress from the centre of the pile, causing the stack of clothing to collapse and spread out across the floor.

No doubt dying inside, Rarity moved forward to help with the clean-up, but was quickly halted by Eva wrapping her arms around the base of her neck in an awkward hug. Although bumbling and unsure, Eva’s affection was clear in her actions and Rarity seemed to understand that. She returned the girl’s gesture in kind with a more secure wrap of her left foreleg around the child. The mare whispered something to the little one, but I couldn’t hear a word of it.

Eva’s intervention seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back as Rarity, with a happy sigh and a relaxed smile, took the bag of coins and carried it further into the boutique.

“Can we get changed?” Eva asked once she’d gotten hold of a light blue sundress near the top of what was left of the pile.

“I suppose so. But bring me your uniforms afterwards- don’t leave any of it here.”

“Okay!”

The two of them disappeared behind the curtains, dragging their dresses on the floor as they ran. I heard them talking to each other about whatever, but they were far too excited for their words to be coherent to an adult. Whilst the girls were changing, Rarity reappeared, reminding me of something.

“Oh, yeah- before I forget…”

In the short time that I’d been in the world, I’d all-but forgotten about my phone, which was nice, to be honest. Still, it had its uses, which I set about explaining to Rarity. I told the unicorn what the princesses had told me regarding its use, and the look on her face suggested that she understood the concept after a little explaining. Apparently, a simple communications spell was all that she needed to make it work, whatever that meant. Despite this, she wasn’t wholly satisfied.

“I know that you are currently situated in Canterlot, but I really would like to see you again- at least in a scenario that goes beyond my making of dresses.”

“Why? We haven’t really spoken much.”

“And that is precisely why I would like to see you again so soon; I am sure that somepony like you has some incredible stories to tell.”

I thought about her request- but I had no idea what I’d be doing for the foreseeable future. “I’ll see what I can do about that,” I answered with a stroke of my chin. “I don’t know if I’ll have much time with everything that’s happening, but if you contact me at some point, I’m sure we can arrange something.”

My response couldn’t’ve been any more on the fence, so I was actually quite relieved when Eve and Eva suddenly emerged from behind the curtains of their changing room, sprawling onto the floor of the boutique. They stumbled forward, thankfully clothed, bringing an abrupt end to our conversation. Rarity, though, was undeterred.

“Simply marvellous, darling!” she called out to the two with a clap of her forehooves. “All the makings of future models!”

“Very nice,” I responded in my own deadpan way. “Now, what do we say?” I folded my arms proudly in preparation for the girls’ response.

“Thank you!” came the universal answer to that question in its usual sing-song format. God, I love conditioning sometimes. The girls had every right to be cheerful, though, as I could now tick ‘clothing’ off the long list of things that we needed.

As for the girls, their dresses were simple in design and fell slightly shorter than I would’ve preferred, but they looked sturdy enough and were clearly created with care. I could at least admit that Rarity was more helpful than Twilight was- and that was good enough for me.

I took the girls’ poorly folded uniforms and placed them into my bag. Rarity then watched me repeat the process for the new clothing that she’d just given me, undoubtably shedding a tear as I got progressively more forceful until I gave up. Sometimes brute force isn’t the answer, so I decided to carry the rest. It was a good job that I’d come to that decision as quickly as I did, as Rarity looked ready to lynch me as she led us to the door.

“Do come again, darling,” Rarity called out to us as we stepped outside. “It would be lovely to see you once you have settled down somewhat.”

“Of course,” I answered through the chorus of ‘bye’s from below me. “I’ll see what else the princesses need me to do and then I’ll let you know”.

After one final ‘thank you’ from the three of us, we headed off towards the local train station. Eva had made it very clear that flight was a no-go, and I’d always enjoyed the train back home. On the way to the station, I was thankful to see that, aside from inquisitive glances, I’d received no adverse reaction from the ponies in this town.

Maybe it was due to the young children running in front of me. Maybe ponies were quite calm about otherworldly creatures knocking about as long as they didn’t cause any trouble. Maybe I had no idea.

It was more likely, I thought to myself, that the newspaper that I was reading had something to do with it. Well, ‘reading’ would be a strong word…

“This is all shit- I can’t read this.”

The writing was completely illegible. I was thankful for ponies to somehow understand what I was saying, but this writing was unlike anything I’d ever seen. And that’s coming from someone who teaches the ages 4-5, so God knows what these squiggles were on about. Still, the newspaper depicted the same photograph as the one that Luna had shown me during breakfast. No one had attacked me on sight, so I could at least assume that nothing bad was written about me on there.

I continued to ponder over the paper even as I sat in the train carriage heading up to Canterlot. The journey wouldn’t take too long but that wasn’t enough for the girls- they were both exhausted. Eve had insisted on a window seat but had predictably fallen asleep before she could see anything of value. The window now served as a glorified pillow as she softly snored against it. Her sister wasn’t far behind, fighting against her body’s call but quickly faltering by my side.

The silence that descended over the carriage signalled that I finally had a quiet space to myself. Not that I wanted it, mind, as all the worries and concerns that I’d neglected up until now began to rear their ugly heads. I could barely remember the circumstances in which I was taken from my world, but the surrealness of the situation still lingered in my mind. Even so, the novelty of this world was very quickly waning now that I had some time to myself. And now, even though I had these two little guys sleeping beside me, I suddenly felt very alone.

My family was gone- or they may as well have been. I had no way of contacting anyone, despite my phone being present, its relative uselessness mocking me as I debated smashing the thing then and there. There was no one to go to for advice, no one to find comfort in. I was the adult now. I was the only one left for these two- these vulnerable, little lives who were somehow more helpless than I was. I’d have done anything for a call from my mum at that moment.

The princesses may well push me in the right direction at times on this journey, but they would never go out of their way to help me. Surely not. No, that support would need to come from me, and I’d somehow need to be able to support all three of us, as Eve and Eva weren’t going anywhere. I wouldn’t want them to leave, anyway.

And how would I be that support? I had no experience of being anything other than a teacher. Even that felt far-fetched. It’d be foolish to think that I’d be able to cater to these girls’ needs and wants, especially if I was sent off to do whatever the princesses had brought me here to do.

And what would I be doing? Killing some fantasy monsters that could probably snap me in half without breaking a sweat? And for what? How did that get me home any sooner than if I did nothing? And what if I didn’t make it home? What if this was all some ruse to carry out the princesses’ chores for the day? These questions floated around my mind and left me with one reoccurring thought:

“I’m not ready for this…”

I could feel tears attempting to break past my eyelids as my heart throbbed with dull regret. The sun was setting now, allowing glimpses of light to occasionally travel through the carriage window and provide a spotlight that illuminated the conflict present on my face. Amongst my indecision, I hadn’t even spared a thought for my friends.

As if sensing my turmoil, Eva fidgeted slightly in her sleep, burrowing her head further into my side. I instinctively squeezed her against me; I didn’t care if I woke her up or not. Thinking about the little one, I felt a smile attempt to break past the sorrow. “Don’t worry about that now,” I mumbled under my breath, thinking aloud. “It means nothing. This is what matters now.”

I sat in silence for the rest of the way, focusing on nothing as I became captivated by the golden glow of the sunset. In fact, I was so entranced that I didn’t notice the three of us approaching Canterlot’s station. I looked down at the girls’ sleeping forms; now that I had no other choice, I didn’t really want to wake them up.

But alas, time was marching on, so, whispering, “Come on, you two,” I nudged them slightly, watching them stir. They both opened their eyes quickly, showing brief flashes of confusion, then fear, then annoyance as they were forced to abandon their slumber. I just hoped that they’d be able to sleep tonight.

After a short amount of walking, Canterlot Castle was only a short distance away, thankfully sitting fairly close to the station. As the castle grew ever closer, I noticed that Eve seemed to be distracted by something.

“You’re a bit quiet there, Eve. What’s up?”

“She doesn’t like being woken up from her nap,” Eva answered simply, looking down at her shoes as she walked.

“No.”

Eve stopped, causing Eva and I to turn around and face her. She widened her stance in a way to make herself seem more confident, but she spoke with a hushed tone that reinforced just how small she was. The sun was quickly disappearing below the horizon, and I watched as the girl’s shadow faded into the floor.

“I had a dream that you were gone, and it made me sad.”

Her arms hung limply as she wilted from her emotion.

“I didn’t want you to go.”

The calm of the evening was quickly replaced by the sound of sniffling.

“You’re my best friend.”

Before we’d set off that morning, I’d hoped that this day would’ve been less emotionally taxing than the last, but it appeared that I was mistaken. Eve was quick to point out that things don’t always work out as planned, and the girl’s inability to find the correct words to express how she felt made her attempted outpour all the more tragic.

“Come here, you.”

I squatted down and threw my arms open. Eve didn’t need to be asked twice and accepted the invitation, leaping into my arms. I felt the girl’s body relax as I held her, willing to wait for her to regain her composure. For the second time in as many days, I felt a wetness on my sleeve that was caused by the tears of someone who had experienced too much. “I’m not going anywhere,” I reassured her.

“Promise?”

“I promise,” I repeated, feeling Eve’s grip tighten. “You’re tired, you are. Let’s get you to bed.” We still had a little way to walk, but it was worth trying to put Eve at ease, if just for that moment. “Do you want me to carry you?”

“Mm hmm,” she hummed as she pressed herself against my chest. With her satisfied, there was no other reason to stay, so I stood up and headed back to the castle. I devised a way of supporting the forlorn girl with one arm and holding Eva’s hand with the other.

After a short way, I looked down at the girl whose hand was in mine.

“You okay, Eva?”

She responded by showing me a big smile, one that only she could pull off as well as she did.

“Yep!”

“I’m glad.”

“Mr. Bayard?”

“What is it, cherub?”

“You’re my best friend, too.”

I felt her tug my hand as she also stopped. She must’ve known how effective her eyes were at expressing how she felt as she made another routine glance up at me. Even in the low light of the evening, I could still make out a faint shimmer that was always moments away from overflowing with emotion. I hoped that they were happy tears- I hoped that she told me this with excitement rather than fear.

“Thank you, Eva. You’re my best friend, too. You as well, Eve, if you’re still with us.”

“Hmm?”

I gave a quick chuckle as I shifted my weight to move Eve further up my chest. Aside from that minor bit of exertion, the rest of the walk was quiet and uneventful; there was nothing more to say. The silence that we’d found ourselves in was only occasionally broken by small sniffles that faded away just as quickly as they appeared.

Chapter 5: Waffles

“Yeah, but, Beth, all my mates are isolating now after getting it from someone at the pub.”

“Surely that can’t be that many.”

“Like seven.”

“Since when did you have seven friends?”

I struggled to sleep in this world. I hated it. It made me feel slow and distant whilst also giving me terrible headaches. I’d tried to explain to the princesses about getting some painkillers, but I was essentially told to go away. What’s more, as I nursed my aching head, I heard of news that all-but killed me: Twilight was coming over.

“Ah, fuck me.”

I doubted that she was there to see me, exactly. Although, I was sure that she would come and annoy me again. Speaking of annoying…

“Forget that- let’s go play!”

It appeared that Eve had been eavesdropping again, somehow wandering into my crisis to escape her boredom.

“Not right now, I’m afraid, Eve.”

I actually would’ve loved to have taken some time to unwind, but that wasn’t on the agenda today. As much as I loved playing dress-up (take what you want from that), I’d planned to practice using my bow, which I’d completely forgotten about until now, to be honest. It may have been useless when speaking with a seamstress, but it was still a gift from the princesses, and I might as well have taken advantage of it.

“You used to be fun…” Eve muttered, crossing her arms and pouting away. Evidently, I had made a truly selfish decision by thinking about someone other than her. How sad.

“I’m still fun,” I reasoned. “I just want to use my bow for a bit.” This god-awful mission of mine would surely, at some point, require me to go and kill some undescribed and poorly defined monsters, so I might as well do something that contributed to my survival. ‘Probable death over certain death’ and all that.

“What’s that?” Eva piped up, her voice full of confusion. “What’s a ‘bow’?”

“It’s… this!”

I held out my hand hopefully and tried to remember what on Earth I was supposed to do next. My worries were for nought, however, as, just like before, the bow materialised in my hand without a second thought.

“Wow…”

The girls were at a loss for words. They’d seen magical ponies that can fly and use magic, but to see another human do something like this was seemingly difficult for them to comprehend. And so, they stood there, mouths agape, trying to understand how a human had managed to do something that was fairly trivial for this world’s standards, to be honest.

“Where’d you get it?” Eve asked, stumbling over to me. She helped herself to the bow and placed her hands on the thing as if she didn’t even believe that it was there, like it was some kind of illusion. While she was preoccupied with that, I gave her my simple answer.

“From the princesses.”

My mind wasn’t fully on having a conversation as I twirled the weapon in my hands. I was lucky not to hit Eve in the face, which reminded me that her sister was still off to the side, looking on in slight amazement. It took a while for me to catch her gaze, but she came over to join her sister soon enough.

“Can I have one?” Eve asked in her own expectant way.

“No.”

“We could get both of you one later,” Celestia suggested as she inserted herself into our conversation, scaring the life out of me. She ignored my frantic gesturing of ‘that’s a bloody awful idea’, before continuing. “But, for now… you and Twilight have a few things to discuss”.

I’m sure that she took glee in the way that she made me suffer. That dramatic pause all-but confirmed it. So much so, that I felt very compelled to show the princess some very different hand gestures. With that said, I quite fancied being alive- despite my imminent playdate with Twilight, so I kept my hands to myself.

“I think we’ve discussed quite a lot already.”

That slightly arsey comment was good enough for me. It wasn’t good enough for Celestia though, as she offered her own interpretation of an event that she didn’t witness in any way.

“You know how she is; she can be quite forgetful at times.”

“I do know how she is- and that’s exactly why I would like to politely decline your request.”

She wasn’t planning on letting me off that easily, though.

“And what would you do instead?”

Unfortunately for Celestia, I was also not to be swayed at that moment. I didn’t even need to think before giving my answer.

“Probably run off and find some targets to shoot at.”

“And where in Equestria would you find such targets?”

“You’ve got soldiers, right? They’ve probably got some somewhere.”

Celestia shook her head in response to my suggestion. Apparently, she still had holes to pick in my explanation.

“I think you may need a more accurate location than ‘somewhere’ if you’re going to have any chance of finding them. Besides, I’m sure the royal guard will be very impressed when I tell them that a human has broken into their firing ranges and is helping himself to their targets.”

“You’re not about to grass, are you?”

“…Excuse me?”

“Because if there’s one thing no one likes, it’s a grass.”

“You two are acting like children,” Eve reprimanded suddenly, having had enough of mine and the princess’ exchange. I held back the urge to flick her forehead as she crossed her arms and turned away from us. “Mr. Bayard, just speak with Twilight first- then you can go and play.”

“The irony is palpable when that’s coming from you, Eve,” I commented in his review of the situation. Eve’s reversal of our roles did well to lighten my mood; I suppose I’d taught her well.

“I can feel it from here,” Celestia remarked, again enjoying my discomfort and minor embarrassment. “You will be talking to Twilight, and I will let her know that you are ready.” I must’ve looked rather glum, as the princess wasn’t done with me yet. “I’ll tell you what, then,” she reasoned. “I’ll make sure that she brings a friend that you can play with.”

“Since when was I the five-year-old here?”

Twilight had a habit of being late, apparently, as I spent a long time not really doing anything. I knew that the journey from Ponyville to Canterlot wasn’t exactly a walk around the block, but Twilight was taking the piss here, surely. If I knew she would’ve taken this long, I would’ve done whatever I was planning on doing anyway.

I lay on top of my bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to find the answer to my predicament within the unending whitewash above me. I found none, but that didn’t stop me from trying again and again as I waited for the time at which Twilight would arrive. “Bloody hell- what’s taking her so long?” I mumbled a bit too loudly.

“Probably in traffic,” Eve offered from across the room whilst she stuffed her face with some type of candy that she wouldn’t let me try. She and her sister had resumed their colouring from the day before in preparation for another awkward day of me trying to connect with Twilight on any tangible level. After all that had already happened, I was sure that the girls were interested to see what would happen next.

Eva suddenly lifted her head up and looked as if she wanted to say something.

“David?”

“Been a little while since you’ve called me that. What is it, cherub?”

“Can you come play with me?”

And so, it was. Giving little regard as to when Twilight would drag herself through the door, I sat down and got to work on a five-year-old’s colouring book with a gusto that I had been neglecting up until now. Even with my new purpose in life, I managed to find some way to complain.

“When we were whisked away to this strange world, colouring wasn’t the thing I thought I’d spend most of my time doing.”

“But it’s fun!”

Eva raised a good point. It was quite nice to be able to do something as ordinary as this. I had a lingering suspicion that this normality wouldn’t last for long, given my eventual ordeal with this ‘Starlight’ girl. Her name continuously bubbled to the surface of my mind as I lay in waiting, dragging along a familiar fear of dread every time it imposed itself.

As strange as it may be to hear, I wasn’t a fan of leaving Eve and Eva alone while I went off to die, but I suppose I didn’t have a choice. Hopefully they would behave while I was gone.

“David?” Eva asked again after a page’s worth of colouring. “You know when you need to go and find that person?” She must’ve been telepathic, especially since I couldn’t remember Celestia telling her about Starlight. By hook or by crook, she appeared to share my apprehension about my job to go and track down that elusive mare.

“What about it?”

“Well…um…” Eva began to mess with her hands as she thought about what she wanted to say. “Can I come with you?” she finally asked. I let out a short sigh; I hated this part.

“Sadly, no- not this time. It’s too dangerous.”

I couldn’t look her in the eyes because I knew what was waiting for me if I dared to. Even in my cowardice, a sniffling was audible enough to carry the news of her reaction in a way that I was much too familiar with.

“It’ll be too dangerous for two little girls- you’ll get hurt and then what’ll we do?”

I know that she wanted to protest further, but, for whatever reason, she found herself unable to do so as she slumped into my side pathetically.

“I don’t want you to go.”

The reluctance was clear in her voice, but I was on the home stretch now. I could taste the victory. I resoundingly argued, “I’ll come back,” as I saw Eve growing restless in the corner of my eye. “I’ll be extra fast- just for you. Remember yesterday? We had this conversation with Eve about me leaving, didn’t we?”

“Mm hmm.”

“And what did I say to her then- do you remember?”

“That you’re ‘not going anywhere.’”

“And I’ll say the exact same thing to you. Besides, you’ll still have Eve. Isn’t that right, Eve, you little irritant?”

“Yeah!”

Eve gave a shout as she grabbed her little sister and peeled her from my side. She grabbed the tearful tyke and wrapped her up in a strong hug that only an older sibling could give. “You’ll have me, and I’ll have you. We’ll be together!” She grinned as she looked at me again. “And we can make Mr. Bayard get us lots of nice stuff!”

That comment looked to have brought Eva back to life as her body language reverted to a more neutral state. But then, just as things were looking up, Eve decided it was her turn to be sombre. “You’d better come back, though,” she warned with a slightly angry expression on her face. “Or I’ll cry.”

“You did enough of that yesterday.”

“I did not!”

“You did.”

“Didn’t.”

“Did.”

“Didn’t.”

“Whatever you say, littlun.”

I couldn’t be bothered to deal with that. I refocused my attention on Eva as I picked up from where I’d left off. “Eve will be with you all the time when I have to do this stupid thing for the princesses. Think about it like when you had to go to afterschool clubs back at school- I wasn’t there then and you did just fine.”

“She was a bit silly sometimes,” Eve interjected to work against me again.

“I was not!”

“You was!”

“‘Were’, Eve. Look: both of you-” I turned to face the two and pulled them close so that I could look them both in the eyes. “-I am not going to go anywhere without letting you know first. And-”

“-You don’t know that-”

“-And I’ll come right back and bring you some nice goodies from wherever I go. And then, we can all go out to somewhere nice together- just the three of us.”

Eva’s eyes lit up at this proposition. “Like the beach?” she enquired hopefully. Her answer wasn’t the one that I was expecting, but that didn’t mean that I was against the idea. For reassurance, I looked to Eve, who also seemed to have had a lightbulb moment after her sister’s suggestion.

“Is that where you want to go?” I asked her. Eva nodded her head frantically in response as if she was trying to nod the tears from her face. “Then we’ll go. I’ll ask around and see what I can find once I get back.” With every comment, I could see the little girl come out of her shell, that smile doing its best to creep its way across her cheeks.

“Okay,” was all that she said, but it was more than enough for me to push the worries out of my head. I seemed to have gotten her on my side for the time being, so I pulled her back to my side and held her there. And, from there, I paused, wanting to keep her there until she felt safe agai-

“Hello…?”

Without warning, she struck. She moved through the halls soundlessly with frightening efficiency. Her arrival was an inevitability, as was her timing. She was noticed when it was already far too late for those in attendance to flee.

Twilight Sparkle had arrived.

And, faced with a lack of options, I felt the need to respond.

“Oh, hi, Twilight.”

“You don’t sound very chipper today,” Twilight noted as she poked her head into my little space.

“This is just how I sound,” I responded with my unchanging, deadpan tone.

“Oh.”

“…”

“…”

I was preparing for another painful exchange as I felt the ellipses pass me by. But fate had other plans in store.

“Geez- way to reel him in, Twilight.”

A new voice had entered the fray: the raspy voice of someone obnoxious. It appeared that my new friend was here.

“And why does his voice sound so funny?”

Oh, alright, then. I guess she had something to say about my voice as well. I stood up and moved towards the door in a show of frustration at the new intruder’s comment. My grievance was a complete lie- I did love an abrasive woman- but it’d probably be more awkward if I didn’t react in some way. Either way, I Immediately found this person more captivating than Twilight, so I tried to bring her into the conversation.

“You know you can come through the door, right? I’m dressed.”

“And we’re here, too!” Eva called out from her side of the room. She began waving at the door as if the door itself was involved in this conversation. She seemed to have involved more than just the bedroom’s entrance though, as her little voice attracted the mysterious woman’s attention.

“Wait, is he a dad? You didn’t tell me he was a dad, Twilight.”

“I told you: he’s not a dad-!”

“-Is he a DILF?”

“No! He’s not a-”

I gladly interrupted this exchange by forcing the door open with a huff.

“Could you not discuss someone when you’re stood ten feet from th- oh, you look different.”

She did look different. The mare that caught me off-guard hovered a few feet off the ground with wings that were well-defined yet full of fluff. As she hovered, she would occasionally blow air from her mouth up to prevent her mane from flopping down in front of her eyes. Those magenta pools of hers appeared quick to irritate as her mane threatened to obscure their view.

To describe the mane as ‘striking’ would perhaps be a disservice; it was a luscious flurry of colours that streaked out all along her mane and carried on through her tail. Their colours had a natural pull-factor to them that would likely have brought the mare much attention if she played to its strengths, but they were both short and harshly cut with more jagged edges. It was almost disappointing that she wasn’t too concerned with how it looked.

With a mane like a rainbow came a coat of fur that matched the clear sky- a light blue colour that was easy to stare into and lose track of one’s senses. It rustled slightly in time with the flaps of her wings, showing off the impressively lean body structure below it. This mare looked like the type of girl to fulfil the ‘short and angry’ stereotype that was always so strangely endearing.

“Wow. Aren’t you majestic?” I remarked after I’d finished taking in the sight before me. I’d seen lots of colours in the short time that I’d spent in Equestria, but not all of them at the same time. My wonder was obvious, as the prismatic little thing folded her forelegs over one another and grinned down at me.

“Hey! The name’s Rainbow Dash. Nice to meet ya! And yeah, I’m pretty cool. Always have been.”

Short and cocky, apparently. I replied, “Never been one to brag, eh? My name’s David- David Bayard,” as a smile took over my face. I thought about offering her a hand to shake but decided that she probably wouldn’t want it.

Usually, boastfulness did nothing to excite me, but this girl managed to play it off in a way that worked surprisingly well. Even so, this conversation proved to be a fragile one, as it was quickly shattered by a classic case of poor social awareness on behalf of our colourful friend.

“Why do you sound like that? You sound like Rarity but worse.”

Well, somebody was bound to have a go at some point. Regardless, I’d been to the states before, so I was no stranger to yanks being unable to appreciate my accent. It was no big deal- or at least it shouldn’t have been a big deal.

“Rainbow! That’s not a nice thing to say to a friend!” Twilight admonished her friend with an assertiveness that I wasn’t expecting. ‘Rainbow’ didn’t seem too affected by this as she glanced at her friend while shrugging nonchalantly. It was always strange seeing horses carry out human gestures.

“A rainbow…?”

Eva popped her head out through the doorway and caught sight of the prismatic Pegasus. Much like I did before her, she stared at Rainbow Dash, losing herself in the colours. I idly flicked at the girl’s brown hair as she continued to stare.

“What are you shouting abou- ooh a rainbow…!”

As if this conversation couldn’t get any more cluttered, Eve had decided that it was her turn to become transfixed as she joined her sister in absorbing the display of colours. As much as I wanted to see how long this would last, this level of interest was unhealthy.

“Girls, stop staring- you’re probably making her uncomfortable.”

Rainbow Dash let out a forced chuckle as she grabbed the back of her neck with a hoof. She didn’t look like she knew what to do with herself and that made me a happy boy. “You may act all cool, but you’re just as bad as she is,” I mocked the Pegasus, pointing at Twilight for reference. Twilight showed exactly the reaction that I was looking for, shuffling nervously in the background once she’d been pointed out.

Back in the foreground, Rainbow had a question on the tip of her tongue. “So, where are you from?” she asked me with a point of her hoof. Again, seeing such gestures coming from a rainbow pegasus was somewhat unsettling.

“Not from around here,” was all that I said in response. I don’t know why I went for the ‘mysterious loner’ archetype, especially considering Rainbow glared down at me with a frustrated expression.

“Come on! You can do better than that. Where are you really from?”

While thinking of a response, I struggled to find the correct words. The best I could offer was, “I don’t know what to tell you. There isn’t even anything to compare to; my world isn’t anything like this.”, but I could tell that this wasn’t to the pegasus’ standards.

With a continued loss for words, I made the brave decision of forcing a four-year-old girl to do the talking for me. “Eve, you’re a social butterfly- you do this.”

Eve pondered and thought and considered for a while.

“Well, it’s a bit cold because it’s nearly Christmas…”

“Yes…!” I encouraged.

“But it was nice and sunny when I left…”

This was a good start, but our audience was bound to lose interest if we didn’t pick up the pace. I tried to get her back on track, beckoning, “Okay, that’s a good start, Eve. What about something other than the weather? Although it was quite nice to be fair.”

I gave Rainbow a thumbs-up as I added on that last comment. She didn’t get it. She was more likely interested- or confused- about why I’d made a child do the talking for me. To be honest, I could see why she’d be thinking that.

“…And…there was…uh, it was-it-it was cold!”

“It was very cold,” Eva chimed in, adding to the irrelevant information. Bloody hell, it was like they’d forgotten their lines at a school play.

“Come on, Eve- find your words,” I implored as I wished for the ability to sink into the floor again.

“That reminds me,” Twilight suddenly interrupted, having a positive effect on an exchange for once. “I need to teach you how to read.”

Well, her helpful contributions were nice while they lasted. This didn’t seem to be of huge concern for Twilight, who kept an earnest smile on her face whilst she demonstrated her poor understanding. This was apparently the first time Rainbow had heard this, however, as she very slowly peeled her eyes from Twilight. I watched her grin spread from ear to ear as she stared me down for an uncomfortably long time.

“Heh, seriously?”

“Don’t even think it about it. I can read- but your alphabet is just signatures.”

This didn’t really help as Rainbow began to snicker as she placed both her forehooves over her mouth. Eve also proved to be unhelpful as she, like Twilight before her, showed her misunderstanding by making everything worse.

“It’s okay, Mr Bayard. I can’t read either.”

That was all that Rainbow Dash needed to explode into a fit of innocent yet irritating laughter. She really made a meal of it, too. She rolled on the floor and banged on the very expensive carpet with her hooves in an overblown display of amusement. It wasn’t even that funny.

I would’ve likely retaliated with something mildly offensive, but, fittingly, my words seemed to have left me. Instead, I crossed my arms and let out several sighs as I waited for the cackling to come to an end. Eve’s unfortunate interjection did bring a new question forward: what was I going to do about keeping those two educated? With nowhere else to turn, I turned to Twilight. “Come on, sweet stuff- help me out here.”

Twilight cleared her throat and planted a forehoof in the ground triumphantly. It would’ve been grand if Rainbow’s cackling wasn’t drowning out all other noise. Where were the guards when you needed them?

“Fear not, little one-”

“-I’m, like, two feet taller than you-”

“-For we shall restore your reading!”

“What are you on about?”

“Heh, sorry.” she gave a chuckle as she gave a quick shake of her head. “I wanted to sound like the princesses again. I guess I kinda messed it up.” She glanced up at me hopefully, scanning my face for an indication that she’d tried too hard. At that moment, I kind of felt sorry for her.

“Well, you didn’t do too bad, to be fair,” I responded with as much affection as I could muster. “Besides, it’s nice to hear you being a bit more expressive.” I waved my hand in her direction dismissively, perhaps negating a bit of my warmth.

“Aw, thanks.” Twilight repaid my compassion in kind, sporting an honest smile as she looked genuinely content. “Uh, I hope our conversation yesterday wasn’t too bad.”

“Nah, we’ll chalk it off as an awkward introduction,” I reassured her. It sounded as if she also had some regrets; maybe there was more to this mare than I originally thought.

“Shouldn’t you two be reading?” came Eve’s chastisement. Immediately, she grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Twilight, who had managed to get Rainbow Dash to pull herself together. I relinquished control, feeling as if I had none to begin with; Eve seemed to be just as happy to ruin my bonding time as everybody else in this world was, apparently.

Twilight being one of them.

“Well, there’s no time like the present! Let’s get started.”

And so, having retreated back into my bedroom, I submitted myself to an impromptu English(?) lesson. Although I had no problem with this, my ego took a slight hit as I found myself on the receiving end of a student: teacher interaction for once.

“So!” Twilight began from our place at a table in the centre of the room. “Let’s begin with the alphabet!” She summoned a small scroll that, presumably, contained all the letters in the Equestrian(?) alphabet. I counted each letter, growing evermore delighted as I counted up to twenty-six and no more.

Such disgusting levels of convenience weren’t lost on me as I focused on the letters and considered the possible formation of each one. The whole thing looked like cursive on crack. I twirled a finger in the air as I tried to replicate what was in front of me, and I instantly felt several sets of eyes bear down on me.

“Such dexterity…” Twilight breathed. All of a sudden, she sprung up beside me and pressed her muzzle into my right hand. “Can you do that again? But do it really slowly this time! It’s sooo fascinating- ooh, let me write this down!

The mare’s ramblings were fortunately brought to a halt by Rainbow Dash, who lifted her friend into the air with an uneasy grin. “Easy there, Twilight; eyes on the prize,” the pegasus beckoned as she shifted backwards, creating a nice gap between myself and my admirer.

Once Twilight had been plopped back down to the floor, she looked at me apologetically. At least, she tried to; as I traced the writing again, my attention was brought back to the mare, as her eyes continuously shifted from the scroll, to me, and then back again. She was incredibly bad at hiding her enthusiasm.

Luckily for me, it turned out that the Equestrian ‘alphabet’ was largely similar to the English one. The only difference was that the Equestrian one looked like it was made by a pre-schooler. I wrote up the correct alphabet for Twilight and she helped me to apply it to several books that she’d brought along. She had begged me to for the copy of the ‘human’ alphabet so that she could take it home for whatever perverted practices she partook in.

“Fine, I’ll make another one,” I relented as I tossed my piece of paper at Twilight, who looked as if she would need to be restrained again. Keeping her in the corner of my eye, I shifted my focus to Eve and Eva, who had been remarkably restrained up until now. “Look here, girls- we’ve got something new to look at.”

Before I had a chance to move any further, the duo were already clambering onto me, trying to get a glimpse of the purported treasure I held in my hand. “Let me see!” Eve called out, but once she laid her eyes upon the selection of letters on the scroll, she looked up me with a pout. “That looks rubbish.”

Oh, a child’s bluntness. I loved it so- maybe more so because of the blush that spread through Twilight’s cheeks. A snickering behind me indicated that Rainbow had found similar enjoyment. As Eve lamented Twilight’s letter formation, my attention was brought to Eva, who had similarly discarded the scroll. “They don’t look like the phonics letters,” the little girl noted, looking blankly into the distance behind me.

“These guys just write a bit differently to us. We’ll still do phonics like we always do, but this is also something to think about.”

My comment seemed to have been a lightbulb moment for Eva, as she wordlessly hurried to her bag and pulled out a set of flash cards. For some reason, with these in hand, she returned to me and placed her cards on the table before beginning to read them aloud.

“C-a-t: cat! D-o-g: dog…”

I was slightly confused as to why Eva did this, to be honest. Certainly not as much as Rainbow was, however, as the pegasus pointed at the child and turned to me for answers.

“Err, what’s she doing?”

“Phonics,” I answered plainly. I expected that to be enough, but Rainbow rolled her hoof as part of a gesture that compelled me to keep going. “Sounding words out? Blending? Did you do anything at school?”

Rainbow shrugged at this, simply explaining it as, “So, that’s why you can’t read.”

“Th…th…thhhhhhhhhhhhh…”

It appeared that Eva had begun to malfunction, brought to a halt by one of her sound cards. Even as a blush began to overtake her, she kept her eyes glued to the card, although I doubted concentration was the only reason for that. “It’s not a sound- it’s a tricky word, remember? It does start with a ‘th’,” I prompted her, noting how she barely reacted to my input.

“You can get it…” Eve reassured her sister, leaning against the girl’s shoulder. I let those two sort each other out, and I was slightly proud of what I saw; I’m sure it must’ve taken Eve great restraint not to blurt out the answer as soon as it popped into her head.

Eva’s expression softened as this extra support seemed to be more effective than mine was. The studious little girl continued to think about the word in front of her until she smashed her fist into the table as she found the answer that she’d been looking for.

“The!”

Beaming with pride, Eva pivoted around to face me, her fist still implanted into the table. It was hard to conceal a smile when I looked back at that toothy grin. Yes, it was only a three-letter word, but I paid it no mind; it was progress. “There you go. Well done, littlun.”

As Eva and I appreciated the simpler things in life, Rainbow Dash was quick to show her scepticism. “So, what’s the deal with you three?” the pegasus questioned our little grouping. “Like, are they your foals or…?”

“No, no. They’re my students. They’re lovely but they’re nothing more.”

Hearing the words leave my mouth, I wondered whether my comment may’ve been too clinical for the little ones. There was no need for this as I felt Eva, possibly still on her correct-answer-high, lean against me with a happy hum. Eve must’ve thought that she’d been left out of the spotlight for too long as she sprang into me, causing me to wince as her elbow collided with my side.

“Right… so why are you here?” Rainbow continued, unmoved by the display.

“Something to do with the princesses- ask them.”

“And why are they here?”

“I dunno.”

No doubt unimpressed with my answer, Rainbow shook her head and gave up. Instead, she removed her eyes from my little huddle and aimed her questions at Miss Sparkle.

“You didn’t say he wasn’t a dad, Twilight.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Surely you know something about why he’s here.”

“I know just as much as you…”

Neither my half-hearted explanations nor Twilight’s exasperation could dispel the prismatic pegasus’ questions. “C’mon, Twilight! He’s gotta have a bigger purpose than letting you play as the teacher,” she continued. “But he’s got a point- his letters look a little cooler than ours.”

I watched as Twilight pressed her hooves into her face and let out a long sigh. “Look: all I know is that he’s been brought here to do some ‘super-secret’ stuff for the princesses. Stuff that he will not tell me about!” she huffed before her attention returned to me. “Is that about right?”

“Pretty much,” I responded to the flustered mare’s evident frustration. “Can I just say, Twilight- this ‘My Experience with Dragon Lilies’ book here? It might be the worst thing I’ve ever read.”

It appeared that Twilight could only take so much. Her rocky introduction could easily be shrugged off; a barrage of questions that she didn’t know the answer to proved to be much harder to ignore. Now, having her choice of literary material violated, she had seen enough. She turned her nose to the ceiling and shifted away from me.

“Just keep reading- at least until chapter 53.”

“This book’ll take me twenty-five years to complete. I’m not doing this.”

“Fine. At least take it with you.”

That’ll do me. I resoundingly shut the book with no intention of ever opening it again. I must’ve closed the book with too much force as it startled the previously-tranquil huddle that I was a part of. I didn’t want to upset the little ones; it was that bastard Rainbow that I fancied knocking out of the air. Naturally, I failed, and the pegasus merely hovered above me in a subtle statement of superiority.

Twilight was similarly unmoved, still in strop over what I’d said about her precious books. These ponies were all over the place, over and underreacting at random. Still, Twilight’s lack of action indicated that class was over, and that we could finally get to the good stuff.

“That’s it for now. Thank you, Twilight, you grumpy bits. Let’s go shoot something instead.”

Given how I’d spent my day indoors up until this point, it was nice to be outside the castle enjoying the sunshine. A large, circular courtyard lined with archery targets lay before me; the dirt beneath my feet was coarse with many indents that were undoubtably the results of various shooting drills.

I’d spent some time searching for Celestia so that she could’ve directed me to this place. Apparently, though, a deity can’t be free all the time, so I found the next best thing and woke Luna up from her early-afternoon nap. Although she had scoffed at the disrespect, she’d quickly brought me to this place- and she had brought someone along to help me.

“I have summoned the griffon, Fairfeather, to assist you with your marksmanship.”

I ignored how Luna knew to put the ‘man’ in ‘marksmanship’ as a creature that I didn’t recognise appeared on the far side of the courtyard. A griffon, I assumed (it’s not like I’d seen one before), was making its way towards me at a leisurely pace while carrying a selection of archery equipment. Someone more experienced with archery would likely define it in more certain terms than ‘Archery Equipment’, but bear with me. He carried his own arrows and what appeared to be a custom bow on his back.

I’d googled griffons before and had a look at them online, but the images that I’d seen paled in comparison to the ‘real’ thing. All the stereotypical features of a griffon were present: half lion, half eagle, and with all the striking features and sharp edges that one would imagine.

The griffon’s forelimbs both possessed several sharp claws that could likely gut me like a fish, but they seemed to more closely resemble hands than hooves did. The griffon’s more opposable digits may have been the reason why he was here rather than your average pony.

All the old legends and supposed sightings implied that griffons were strong and proud creatures, but ‘Fairfeather’ looked modest and uninspiring. The feathers spreading across their body were a monochrome grey with only their yellow beak providing any contrast in colour. Their left forelimb appeared to be damaged as well; they weren’t holding it properly. For such a dangerous-looking creature, this one moved reservedly, almost cautiously.

And this guy wasn’t moving very quickly, either. The courtyard was very large- so much so, that I’d completed my survey of the creature long before they’d gotten close enough to say ‘hello’. I couldn’t be arsed with this, so I closed the gap between the two of us and met the griffon after walking about… let’s say two steps. I offered my hand, hoping that this guy would understand the gesture. Luckily, I was reciprocated, with the griffon offering a firm ‘handshake’ with their one-good forelimb.

“So, you’re that human guy? It’s good to finally meet ya! I’m that ‘Fairfeather’ guy. You do know it’s me, right?”

From the sound of his voice, I guessed that Fairfeather was a male, which I was happy about: there was a definite shortage of dudes. The creature was intelligible at least, keeping the ebb and flow of many of the Americanesque accents that I’ve grown used to around here.

“It’s nice to see a new face,” I commented with satisfaction. I glanced at the weaponry on the griffon’s back. “So, you’re the archer?”

“Archer master, my friend,” he replied as he took the bow from his back and began to wave it about with reckless abandon. “Led a life of shooting things, being found half-dead in the big city, doing some things he sometimes regrets… but don’t mention it.” He fired off facts about himself in rapid succession and did so in a way that wasn’t usually known to the clinically sane. I was having a hard time figuring him out.

Fairfeather’s voice was gritty yet high-pitched, like a pre-pubescent with a cigarette addiction. The more the griffon spoke, the stranger it seemed that he was without a guardian- and by the look of him, he had been without one for some time. He sounded young, certainly younger than the mares that I’d spoken to, and that fact concerned me. If I was to guess, then Fairfeather was likely to be the griffon’s equivalent to a young teenager. Surely someone that age would have somebody to rely on: be it friends, family or just anyone for that matter.

Of course, he could’ve had somebody waiting for him at home, but I doubted that. Fairfeather’s mannerisms and general look made him seem like a pauper who had spent the majority of his life frightened to death. The fact that he was a griffon in a city full of ponies also raised some questions.

He was a good shot, though, as he demonstrated his prowess by drawing his bow and firing numerous arrows at a selection of targets in front of him in rapid succession. There was no flair to his movements; it was cold, clinical and ruthlessly efficient. I didn’t know if I should’ve been impressed or disturbed. Nobody else knew how to react to this either, if the silence that followed was any indication. Nobody, apart from Luna, however, who seemed unfazed by the commotion and had one final warning as she turned to leave.

“Please don’t kill anypony. Ugh, I’ll never be able to get back to my rest…”

The princess’ grumpiness aside, my time in the courtyard had progressed well so far and I was excited to get started as I readied my own weapon. This excitement was soon punished, though, as I failed to even fire any arrows at the targets, instead watching them as they dropped pitifully into the dirt below. Nothing can ever be simple, as Fairfeather was keen to point out.

“Your, uh… your arrows didn’t go that far.”

“I can see that.”

“…Have you done this before?”

“Oh, absolutely not, no.”

“Ah. D’you want me to show you how?”

“I think that might help.”

Fairfeather was a terrible teacher. Or maybe I was a terrible student. Regardless, I suppose if you do the same thing over and over again for long enough, you’re bound to do something right at some point. So, surely through pure luck, my aim slowly improved as I gained a feel and rhythm with the thing.

It was interesting to note that my arrows appeared in the same way that my bow did: they were simply called into action and disappeared once they were no longer necessary. With that said, I still wasn’t great at shooting by any means, despite Fairfeather’s clichéd mutterings.

“Just empty your mind.”

“What?”

“Just empty… your mind.”

“Oh, no- don’t do this, mate.”

I took my eyes off the row of targets to shut this poorly fated pep-talk down. I probably shouldn’t’ve, since I missed all of my shots after getting started again. Rainbow Dash, less-than-impressed at this, broke away from the ambivalent huddle behind me to offer her insight.

“Dude, why don’t you try shooting at me?” she challenged as she moved to hover a few feet in front of me. As she floated there, she looked down at the small cluster of arrows that sat in a line in front of the targets; multiple small holes in the dirt suggested that many more had met the same fate.

“You know that’ll kill you, right?” I replied absentmindedly. My bow disappeared from hands as I must’ve lost focus. I looked back to what was left of my audience: only Twilight remained as Eve and Eva had disappeared to some random area in the shade, seemingly focused on something.

“Not if you’re the one shooting,” Rainbow replied smugly.

I lowered my head and scowled at the dirt. It was silly: Rainbow’s comment shouldn’t’ve cut as deep as it did, but it was becoming increasingly clear that she was right. Flexing my right hand caused a great deal of pain to shoot up my arm, allowing my physical anguish to mix with the embarrassment that I felt from the number of times that I’d ballsed the exercise up. I had half a mind to pack it in for the day, but I felt Fairfeather grab my right shoulder, digging into my flesh slightly with his claws.

“Come on,” the griffon encouraged. “You just gotta aim a bit higher. Let me show you.”

Days went by quickly in Equestria, apparently. It was approaching dusk by the time that I’d given up on archery for the day, although there’d been several comfort breaks. A combination of boredom, pain and frustration led me to metaphorically lay down my arms and walk away.

Twilight and Rainbow had left a short while earlier, Fairfeather also, leaving Eve, Eva and I to stumble around the castle’s many corridors in search of civilisation. Eve’s silence had been particularly noticeable, but that was soon to change.

“I never saw you that bothered by something before.”

“Hmm?”

I wasn’t expecting that sort of comment at this point. Though, thinking back, I hadn’t paid much attention to anyone since I set foot outside. “Back there- wherever we were. You were there for so long,” she continued.

It was difficult to tell if she was saying this out of frustration or if she was just making an observation. Either way, I felt a bit guilty with how I’d left them to fend for themselves; I don’t think that either of them had had a great day today.

“Sorry.”

That felt like the only natural response at the time, but Eve shook her head. “No, it’s not that,” she retorted with the urgency of someone who didn’t want their words to be misinterpreted. “You just did one thing for ages. You haven’t done that before.”

“Yeah,” Eva elaborated as she played with her hair. It looked strange seeing it draped over her shoulder. “You always do lots of different things when you’re at school.”

“That’s because I have to,” I replied. “If there were thirty Eves and Evas knocking about right now, I’d have to be jumping all over the place. I mean, look: do you see thirty little Eves and Evas running about the castle?”

Eve let out a giggle.

“Nope- it’s just us.”

“And you’re enough of a handful already,” I concluded as I pulled the girls in for a hug that lasted longer than I’d intended; I struggled to find the strength to let either sister go once I felt Eva’s forehead rest upon my cheek. Thankfully, Eve pushed away on my behalf.

“But we’ve been really good so far!”

She showed off her toothy grin as she stood proud. I continued to hold Eva’s face close to mine as I replied, “You certainly have. Look, as soon as I find this Starlight person, we’ll all do something nice as a little reward.”

“Just don’t forget about us,” Eva cautioned, her head still resting on mine- to the point where her voice rang resoundingly in my ears. She stayed with me as I stood up and placed my hand on the back of her head.

“Don’t you worry, sweetheart.”

We began moving again, enjoying the comfortable silence that’d descended upon us. Or maybe that enjoyment was one-sided, as Eve decided to speak up again.

“What’s her name?”

“Whose name?” I inquired, unsure of what she meant.

“The bow,” she answered matter-of-factly, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “Let’s give her a name.”

“Well, what do you wanna call it?”

“Um…”

Eve thought for a while, slapping a finger against her cheek as she considered her options. “I dunno. What do you think, Eva?” she asked to the girl in question, who was currently preoccupied with chewing on her hair. It seemed that Eva was unprepared for her inclusion into the conversation; she looked up at me for guidance, but she found no answers in my neutral expression. I pulled a couple of strands of the girl’s hair out of her mouth whilst she considered her options, the auburn frizz sticking messily to her cheek.

“Um…Waffles?” Eva suggested.

“Waffles?” I repeated back to her. “Are you just hungry?”

“…yes.”

“You’re so transparent.”

Turns out, we didn’t have to wait long for dinner; the three of us could apparently be heard from anywhere in the castle at all times, and dinner had been prepared at the soonest hint of our arrival. Celestia herself had even been so kind as to join us. As I tried to get to grips with this level of unconditional comfort, the princess explained her reason for coming down to see us.

“I hope that Equestria has treated you well,” she asked as she watched me peck away at my meal.

“It keeps me well-fed,” I mumbled, the food in my mouth both setting a bad example and making me difficult to understand.

“I am very glad,” Celestia responded. “I hope your training has been beneficial to you, because you will be leaving to find Starlight Glimmer tomorrow.”

The clanks of several sets of forks filled the room.

“Tomorrow?!” I spat out my words along with my food. “B-but I’m not ready to-”

“-I have full confidence in your ability.” Celestia kept her head high and her eyes closed as she spoke. “I will speak with you more in the morning. I will also provide you with something of use just before you leave.”

“But I’m not even close to being ready to-”

“-Do not worry. I have the utmost confidence.”

And with that, she just left, leaving me to think over the implications of what she’d said. Truth be told, it didn’t matter if she stayed or left- I was too stunned to speak. We all were. I didn’t have to look over to the two sisters to know that. Eventually, I dared to glance over at the pair, only to see two girls who looked as if the world was caving in.

I could tell that peace would be in short supply tonight.

Chapter 6: Social Seesaw

“How do you feel about the griffon?”

“Fairfeather? He’s alright.”

“…Is that all?”

“He’s a bit of a wetter, now I think about it.”

I was already far too familiar with a poor night’s sleep, but at least now I had an excuse for it. Encased in the darkness, I stood on my room’s balcony and cradled my head, trying to provide order to the discordant thoughts that flooded my mind.

My much-lamented sleeping issues were paltry compared to the task before me: not only was I expected to venture out into the wilderness with little more than a pat on the back, but I had to deal with the more immediate concern of the two girls who were likely in restless slumbers of their own.

The girls had both been deathly silent as they returned to their room, and that was far harder to take than any tantrum or flood of tears. At least then I would have had an indication as to what they were feeling; for all I knew, they could be convinced that that the world was ending. To be honest, if anything happened to me, maybe their world would be over. With nothing other than resentment, I leaned over the balcony and spat bitterly at the street beneath me, as if I was transferring the blame to the stones below.

“I understand your plight, young one,” came a voice from above. Like an extract from your favourite religious text, I was visited in the night by a deity- albeit one more bumbling and quicker to irritate.

“Oh, you alright, Luna?” I asked as I nonchalantly waved my hand in the direction of Luna’s voice.

“My well-being is of little importance, for it is you whose mind has grown restless.”

“It was more of a hypothetical question. And you can come down now.”

“Honestly… In all my years I have known few as callous towards royalty as you.”

I let out a long sigh.

“I really doubt that, princess.”

In response to this comment, Luna unfurled her wings in an attempt to instil some authority into the exchange. I found this to be fairly unimpressive, so I merely shrugged and turned my gaze back down to the city below.

“I should have you flogged for the way you treat royalty in this castle,” Luna started with a firm tone. I did little more than look over my shoulder at the princess; her intimidatory display felt forced. “But I cannot say that I mind the change.”

Her softer, more casual tone returned immediately, as the princess shook away the firmness that she felt compelled to portray. A silence followed, with only the wind providing any accompaniment. It was in this lull that I decided to speak up. “So, what’re you here for?”

“It is clear that the thought of your imminent departure is affecting your well-being.”

I turned towards her in order to provide some kind of sardonic comment, but I stopped once I caught the gaze of the princess. Her eyes were sorrowful- regretful, even; it was a stark contrast to the stern-faced admonishment that was befitting of a long-ruling monarch.

“I should stop looking people in the eyes- it’s not good for my conscience.”

My comment brought a smile to Luna’s lips; it must’ve been nice for her to have a more casual conversation.

“You are not alone in that regard, young human. But even so, I came to wish you good luck on your travels.”

“That’s-”

“-Please do not speak.”

Luna raised a hoof defensively.

“I know that you have reservations with how early my sister has sent you on your way but believe me when I say that you are more than capable. We would not simply push you out into a dangerous situation if we did not feel that you were prepared.”

Her speech was nice, but I was still unconvinced, saying nothing. In response, Luna closed the distance between us.

“We are not sirens who lead ponies to their deaths. Truth be told, your intrusion has been a welcome one. Even if you feel as if you are not prepared, I will ensure that you will not leave alone.”

I nodded in affirmation, indicating for Luna to continue.

“…And I will ensure that your foals are taken care of as well.”

I grimaced at the mention of the little ones. After everything that had been said, it was difficult to tell if the girls’ well-being was more important than my own. Either way, I felt the urge to speak up.

“Please take care of them. They’re the only thing I-”

I had wanted to say more, but I was interrupted by Luna leaning into me and softly stroking my cheek with her hoof. My words were instantly caught in my throat as I was momentarily captured in the princess’ caress.

“You need to learn when to let things pass you by,” she whispered to me, her breath feeling warm as it collided with my cheek. “I told you that they will be taken care of- believe me when I say it.” She turned to leave, but as she did so, she raised her head in the air to regain a sense of superiority.

“Do not mistake my actions tonight for romantic interest- I am simply one companion comforting another.”

I had little interest in her explanation. Even so, Luna’s actions, however unorthodox they may have been, did bring me back from the brink somewhat, and I felt my body relax as I felt my dreams calling out to me. “You take care now, Luna.”

Luna gave one more look over her shoulder before wordlessly taking off back into the night sky.

“What a dozy mare…” I mumbled to myself. I shook my head as I mulled over what Luna had said- as well as what she did. Although she may not have brought me much comfort, I was slightly honoured that she would take the time to speak to me in my time of need. Such a philanthropic gesture.

“I guess I’ll give sleep another go.”

And the sleep seemed to have worked, to an extent. Morning arrived, shrouded in a subdued sense of inevitability; Eve and Eva’s collective withdrawal felt just as unavoidable. I predicated their distance; it was the only thing I expected them to do. I certainly wasn’t going to hold it against them.

Out of the three of us, the one who appeared to be the least affected by my task was me. The conversation from the night before did wonders for me, given how clear my head felt. General reluctance aside, I could hardly imagine being in a more appropriate mental state. Granted, this feeling was likely a temporary one, so it made all the more sense to get going before I lost my momentum.

“I’m not going,” Eve suddenly called out from her space on the bed. “I want to stay here.” She glared at the bed covers beneath her as she refused to raise her head. Beside her, Eva looked on at her sister’s defiance, although she lacked the necessary spirit as her eyes threatened to flood once again.

“Eve…” I started before trailing off once I received no reply. “I’ll be going soon… don’t you want to say goodbye?” Another bout of silence confirmed that the girl in question was unwilling to compromise. I didn’t know what to do. Maybe letting her simmer was the right solution here.

Eva looked similarly at a loss, as she made inquisitive glances between the two of us. She proved to be a conflicted figure, but her eyes finally rested on her sister, who had already pressed her face into her pillow. Eva rushed over to join in with the misery, and she wordlessly lay to one side.

Again, I had no idea what to say- whether to peel the girl away or not. I found that no words would leave my mouth as I quietly gathered my backpack and headed for the door.

Any good graces that I may have had from my conversation with Luna had completely evaporated by the time that I’d made my way to Celestia’s throne room. The response, or lack thereof, from the girls ate away at me with each step as I desperately searched for the princess- not in order to begin my journey any sooner but in order to find somebody who was willing to break the silence.

Heading into the throne room in a daze, I caught sight of the princess- along with somebody who I didn’t recognise. Someone tall and proud, prouder than the princesses. With his nose so high in the air, it was difficult to accurately discern his facial features, although they were likely immaculate if the owner’s coat and mane were any indication. His coat a pure-white, his mane blonde and combed to an excessive extent. He was obviously a stereotype- a caricature of a vain royal who possessed all of the dreaded characteristics that the princesses did not.

After living with royalty for a few of nights, I’d had some experience with nobles and their ‘fair maidens’. With this information, I came to the sound conclusion that the pony in front of me was thoroughly unspectacular- to the point where the only noteworthy thing about him was how unspectacular he looked.

The tuxedo he wore was similarly uninteresting- aside from the fact that the material seemed to come to an abrupt halt at the top of his back. In one of its pockets was the finest rose that had ever been stolen from the royal garden. I’d originally hoped that there was more to this pony, but I’d soon learn that I’d be able to write a summary of this guy on the back of a stamp.

He was a pony who demanded a reception that he did not deserve.

The noble’s behaviour certainly wasn’t anything befitting a noble, however, as he began a regular inspection of me and my supposed features. I say this because I very blatantly watched this guy’s eyes look me over, scanning my body in a way that caused me to shiver. I bet he liked that.

He must’ve been too preoccupied to notice that I’d caught onto him. Once he had, the noble instinctively tasked his eyes with routine, fabricated glances at nothing, licking the corners of his mouth as he did so. Taking the last few days into account, this felt like a new low. Close to turning my arse around and going back to bed, I immediately wheeled round to look at the Celestia, making a conscious effort to remove this new voyeur-in-waiting from my sight.

“I really don’t need this.”

I found no solace in Celestia. Instead, the stallion on the outside of my vision cleared his throat and began his introduction. “My name is Blueblood,” he announced to the world.

Even Blueblood’s voice was contentious. His voice was so thick with an aggravating level of arrogance that I immediately tuned myself out of Blueblood’s minute self-introduction. He spoke with the exact level of pomposity that I’d expected from that tart Rarity when I first saw her. I miss her. She was a goodun. I doubt she would show this much arrogance after being caught eyeing up the locals.

“Prince Blueblood to be particular. I am a distant nephew of Princess Celestia and I expect you to treat me as such.”

Right, ok. Any unease that I felt before this knobhead opened his mouth completely dissipated, giving way to an overwhelming feeling of disinterest. I shoved my way past the prince, ruffling the little thing’s mane as I did so.

“Hey, that’s cute,” I mentioned to Blueblood with a condescending tone of my own, much to the prince’s horror. As the sounds of panic-induced gasping filled the air, I turned back to Celestia. “Don’t tell me he’s coming with me,” I implored with clear annoyance. If Eve and Eva’s safety didn’t matter to me, I would’ve happily chucked Blueblood out the window and taken the girls instead.

Celestia never lost her smile as she began to speak. “You already know my answer,” were the words that slid past her cursed lips.

“Oh, brilliant- I’m glad that we agree that it would be a dreadful idea to take him with me.”

“You’ll need to do better than that. He is more skilled than you may think.”

“Skilled at what- tax evasion? Look, unless you want me to get him killed for you, I’m not interested.”

“I would like for you to take him with you so that he can see the world through his own two eyes. You do spend far too much time in your ivory tower, Blueblood.”

The prince was too busy regaining his composure after what he would likely refer to as a ‘violation’ to react to any of our comments.

“Yeah, well, he needs to keep those eyes to himself before someone pulls them out of his head. I’d rather just go on my own.”

“You wanted a guarantee of your safety, didn’t you? What better guarantee than a royal escort?”

“I’m sure he could make it as an escort. I’m getting paid for this right?”

“Handsomely.”

“Double the fee and I’ll take him.”

“Phrasing, David- particularly with your ‘escort’ being so close by, Celestia continued, showing little regard for her distant relative, to the point where I began to think that we’d reached some common ground. “But I suppose that that’s fair.”

“You never call me by my name- it’s always ‘young one’ or some shit like that.”

“I thought that you would appreciate the change of pace.”

I sighed at this. Rather than push any further, the princess spared me and waited for the next arrival into her throne room, perhaps assuming that this new challenger would lighten the mood.

“It’s the human-man!” a familiar griffon called out with a wave of his one-good forelimb. With Blueblood fulfilling one end of the humility spectrum, it appeared that Fairfeather had arrived to fulfil the other, whilst I was forced to act as the pivot in this social seesaw. I was relieved at least to have somebody more grounded to keep me company- I would’ve shattered Blueblood’s kneecaps and left him at the side of the road if it was just the two of us.

On that note, Fairfeather’s introduction was not received particularly well by Blueblood, who very quickly snapped out of his melodramatic trance as soon as the griffon entered the room. “That has no business even breathing the same air as one such as myself,” Blueblood announced to nobody in particular, his nose high in the air. “If you had not somehow blundered your way into my nation’s military, I would have you swatted out of the air like the mosquito you are.”

I turned to stare Celestia down after this comment, and I was delighted to see her reciprocate. “Blueblood, I will not accept bigotry in this castle,” she calmly chastised. “Anypony with a mindset like yours would never be entrusted with ruling a country.”

“But you must understand that that thing is an abomination!” the prince rebuked, his voice cracking on those final few syllables. Although taken aback by the princess’ directness, the prince was undeterred in his view of the griffon and was keen to let everybody else know how he felt. Either to his credit or his detriment, Fairfeather thankfully offered no response, instead quite wisely heading in my direction.

“It is the human-man, back again, I see, right, my friend?” the griffon asked, seemingly incapable of ending his sentence. As I wondered how the hell I was supposed to respond to a statement like that, I softened the look on my face in its display of murderous intent. In fairness, nothing in the last few minutes had made me feel even slightly confident, so the resentful grimace was always one moment away from springing forth again.

“Yeah, hello, yeah,” I lethargically sighed to the griffon. “It’s nice to see you. When can we leave? I wanna get this over with…”

“Oh yeah! Let’s go, bro. Let’s…let’s…go…bro?”

“…Are you gonna be like this throughout this whole thing? Because if you are, you can also f-”

“-No, I can chill and be calm and please take me with you- don’t leave me here again,” Fairfeather all-but growled at me as he grabbed me by my shirt to emphasise his point. The emotion present on the griffon’s face in that moment was too much for me to discern, despite how close he was to me. I pushed him away and turned to Blueblood, inspecting my party of adventurers. I was very clearly fucked.

“Ah, bloody hell- let’s just get this over with.”

The journey to the castle steps was a quiet one; none of us were particularly interested in conversation. However, as soon as I was moment’s away from feeling the morning air’s cool embrace, my hand was roughly yanked backwards by a familiar force. I had no idea how I hadn’t heard her, but now I was able to watch someone’s resolve dissolve right in front of my very own eyes.

“Please don’t go!” Eva sobbed pathetically as she tried to drag me back into the castle. As she lost the physical battle against me, she looked up at me in the hopes that she could sway me through sympathy, but each step that I took surely made her plan of attack seem less and less practical. With nothing to lose, she leaped up and attempted to swing from my right arm, causing me to stop from the sudden pain.

“I have to, sweetheart,” I reassured her, although I was sure that nothing would’ve appeased her in that moment. I navigated my free arm to hoist the girl up and press her against my right shoulder. “I know it’s not what you want- I mean, it’s not what I want either- but I have no choice. I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

My weak-willed words of reassurance were far from adequate in calming the young girl down. If anything, they seemed to upset her further as the flow of tears began to increase. Suddenly, she lifted her head from my shoulder and shrieked- a sorrowful wail of despair that reminded me of what was at stake.

She seemed to have lost most of her energy after that, slumping back down onto my chest and weakly letting out bursts of, “Please, please, please.” I merely stood in place, ears ringing and with a painful thudding in chest, focusing on keeping a cool head amongst the emotion. Eva’s sorrow wasn’t lost on me, but the last thing that this situation needed was any more tears.

I stretched both my arms out and held the little one at arm’s reach, watching her shake as her hands had nothing to hold. “I promise you- I promise you, okay- I’ll come back,” I implored her, only to be met with a pair of eyes that looked as if they didn’t believe a word I said.

“No… No, you won’t.”

“I will,” I reaffirmed before placing Eva down alongside her sister; the latter seemed to have purposely stayed away from me up until now. Eve refused to look at me, her face scrunched into a ball of repressed emotion; it was clear what she wanted to do, but, for whoever’s sake, she lacked the will to do it.

Eve’s efforts didn’t last long as she felt the weight of her sister press into her. With this, the dam burst and soon, a mournful harmony began to flood my ears, even as I turned away from the pair, sensing a possible escape.

I knew better than to risk a glance over my shoulder at the two, as I led my party away from the scene. I felt thankful that neither of them had commented on what’d happened, although I doubt that I would’ve been able to hear them anyway.

Much like the journey to the castle steps, the walk to the station was thoroughly lacking in conversation- not that my mood seemed to have much to do with it. Blueblood led the way at the front of the pack, moving at a faster pace than expected, as he muttered about how the idea of a train journey was beneath him.

Dejected, I followed far behind with Fairfeather by my side. Neither of us said a word; the empty silence was only ever broken whenever I found a stone to kick down the path. I found some satisfaction in hearing every stone clatter a short distance before I found another that bared its resemblance- that was until I lost the strength to do even do that.

Blueblood was long gone by the time that Fairfeather and I reached the station. I was quietly delighted by this; I know that I’d joked about leaving the prince for dead, but in that moment, the mere thought of having to listen to his moaning nearly killed me.

And so, the two of us found a place in a mercilessly empty train carriage. It was clean, well-maintained, yet also hollow and lacking in colour. The whole thing lacked definition: it was… a train carriage. There was no other thought that I could muster at that time as I slumped down into one of the many empty seats.

Fairfeather sat opposite me, offering a sympathetic, “You’ll be alright,” to me. He spoke with sincerity, but, with how rough his voice was, it was hard to take him too seriously.

Still, a chance had appeared for me to vent, and I wasn’t about to turn it down. “I dunno, man,” I started as I scowled at the floor. “It’s just… I’ve left them before and… you know what- never mind. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Ok- maybe I wasn’t in the mood to vent after all. No matter. It was probably a lot easier if I just boxed it up for the moment. No need for anything too taxing so early on. “I’ve got a long time to think about this; let’s focus on what we’re here for right now.”

“Are you sure? ‘Cause you were barely holding it together back there.”

“How long’s it been- 15 minutes? I’ve had time to calm down. Let’s not dig anything back up right now.”

“You’re the boss,” Fairfeather quickly conceded, slamming his bag onto the table in front of us, causing me to jump slightly. “But listen- keep your family close, human-man. With what happened back there- I’d give ‘em two days.”

Well, that’s one way to bring a potentially touching moment to a screeching halt. “Right…” I eventually replied after my initial confusion. “Incredible that you’d be so generous…”

As I sat there wondering what else I could say after that strange comment, Fairfeather thankfully got the ball rolling. “So,” the griffon began as he leaned forward in his seat. “What are we gonna do?”

“Well, apparently, we stay on this train until it reaches the end of its line. And then we walk to a place appropriately called ‘Starlight’s Village’. Narcissist. You’ve got your map, right?”

“Yup! But what about when we get there? Have you thought of a plan?”

I pulled out a map of my own- which, before you ask, I’ve had for a while- and slammed it down on the table. Pointing to a small village near a set of mountains, I began to explain. “I think that’s the village, there- if we go there and ask around, we might be able to find out where Starlight’s gone. Celestia is convinced that she hasn’t gone too far. So…yeah.”

I’m sure that Fairfeather was beside himself when he heard of the intricacies of my plan of action. In fact, I was so sure of this that I didn’t even raise my head to check. Over time, I became very acquainted with how Starlight’s Village looked on a map- I couldn’t wait to see the shithole first-hand.

“Small words from such a big dude,” Fairfeather scoffed after he became aware that I was in no position to offer any further insight.

“I’m five-foot-six.”

Much time passed before I had the gall to remove my head from the map. As a result, peering through the train window, it was obvious that Canterlot had long been left far behind, replaced with a landscape of dying vegetation and cracked stone.

Seeing the north looking so destitute reminded me of home in a way: I love the accent, but places like Barnsley were never the same after the mines shut down. Still, where were we in this world? Were we near the equator? Is there an equator? Why was the north more of a desert than the south? So many questions for someone better informed than me to answer.

“What are we gonna do with the ‘prince’?”

I had my attention torn away from the whimsical view outside as Fairfeather began to tackle the matter at hand.

“Just gotta grin and bear it, haven’t we?”

“Hmph.”

“Well, you’ve got a few arrows. Would it really be that much of a shame if, say… one of them were to go missing and end up in that prick’s spine?”

“No, no,” the griffon quickly rebuked, waving his forelimbs in front of his face in a frantic display of opposition. “The princess would kill you.”

“I think the princess is trying to kill me anyway,” I answered with a shrug. I slumped down into my seat and tiled my head to the ceiling, closing my eyes. “If I’m gonna die, I might as well do it now…”

I half-expected to be left alone once the griffon opposite me went silent. This was not to be, however, as I was quickly jolted back to reality by the feeling of something digging into the fabric of my shirt. Throwing my eyes open, prepared for some form of confrontation, but I stopped when I saw my friend’s expression- sporting an uncharacteristic level of concern.

“C’mon dude- don’t act like that.”

The griffon’s sombre tone and unwavering facial expression portrayed a level of sincerity that I wasn’t expecting. After a slight hesitation, I gently gripped the griffon’s forelimb and removed it from my shoulder.

“Haven’t you heard of sarcasm? Like, geez- slow down, ace.”

Fairfeather stared at his forelimb as it disconnected from my shoulder. He flexed the muscles in the appendage continuously, eyes transfixed on its movement. Whatever he was doing, I left him to it as I reacquainted myself with the map, planning a possible route, until I was interrupted again.

“Hey,” Fairfeather called out to me with a smile. “We’re a team now. I need you.”

Such aggressive levels of sentimentality were lost on me. “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this,” I muttered, perplexed at the conversation’s change in tone. Fairfeather remained unchanged as my comment passed through him, keeping a weak smile on his face.

“I dunno, man- can I call you ‘man’? It’s easier calling you ‘man’.”

“You technically already have...”

“Listen, man, these ponies don’t…like me.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re clingy.”

“No, not like that! They don’t treat me right- like I’m not meant to be there.”

“Well-”

“-And I feel it! I’ve felt it! All the time in the big city. It puts me on edge.”

Fairfeather’s paranoia was concerning; every vague, baseless statement he made came out faster than the one before it. I was caught between two minds: try to calm him down or humour the poor guy to see where he went. In the end… I guess I chose the latter.

“You’re a little paranoid, aren’t you?”

“I swear! Just look when we meet the ponies in that village you were talking about- you’ll see it there too.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“And you don’t judge-”

“I do-”

“-You don’t care that I’m a griffon.”

“I mean, I don’t really care about anything.”

A slam on the table snapped me out of my indifference. “That’s not true,” Fairfeather beseeched, his concerned expression returning in full force. “If you didn’t care, you’d have stayed home.”

Having shifted the tone of this mile-a-minute conversation for the second time, Fairfeather began to root through the contents of one of his bags. To be fair, it was probably a good thing that he turned his attention away from me, as I had no idea what to say to him after that. I didn’t understand his need to compliment me so incessantly, but it probably wasn’t a bad thing.

With the griffon dealt with, I had little else to do. Even relaxing was too much at the moment, as my mind refused to relax. For the next… God knows how long, all of my thoughts reverted to the two little girls that I’d come here with: it all left me feeling slightly hollow. I’d only been here for a few days, but it still hurt. Probably more than it should’ve.

I instinctively felt along my side, having grown used to the feeling of one of the little ones being slumped against it- only to be met with their absence. My heart gave a sorrowful skip as I became aware of this fact: there was nothing more than the empty space.

“I’ll be back soon…” I whispered under my breath, barely aware that I was even speaking. I forced himself to look out the window- anything to ignore the sounds that reverberated through my mind and threatened to crawl up my skin. I was certain that the girls’ voices would likely stay in the back of my mind throughout this little journey. The only hope that I held was that they would quieten down once the action started.

Chapter 7: Their Village

Any changes in scenery had been fairly obvious throughout this journey, even more so when out on-foot. A luscious grassland had slowly dwindled with every passing minute, replaced with a vast expanse of sand and dust, the final remnants of any plant life stubbornly refusing to bow down to the harsh climate.

Even the clouds had abandoned the space below them, withholding any respite from the glaring sun overhead. Any type of shade or shadow was hard to come by, as any rock formation was always just out of reach.

Any recognisable landmarks were equally as absent in the expanse of desert, offering no sense of shape, space or direction to any weary traveller’s travels. It was a good thing that I’d dedicated my life to studying this stupid map, or else my group and I would likely have been lost to the nothingness.

“We shall stop here,” announced Blueblood after a particularly difficult climb up a small dune. It was funny how he still wore his pretention on his sleeve considering how I had to practically carry him up the last hill. “This heat is absolute murder.”

“We shall not stop here,” I quickly rebuked, not interested in humouring the prince’s purported plight. “We’re nearly there now; this ‘Starlight’s Village’ is barely more than a stone’s throw away. There’s no point in stopping now.”

“I was not requesting-”

“-And neither was I. Now move your arse.”

Blueblood dug his hooves into the sand in a juvenile display of defiance, clearly unhappy with being told what to do. Usually prideful and refined, his actions were anything but. Obviously. I doubt that he was aware of any of this; I don’t think that he possessed that level of consciousness.

“I shall not be moving another step without some recuperation.”

“And where’s that ‘recuperation’ gonna come from- there’s no shade for miles,” I snapped back at him, doing exaggerated points over my shoulder to emphasise my point. It was true- we were in the middle of fuckit nowhere. The only shade in sight was ironically closer to our objective. Blueblood scoffed at this assertion.

“I would not expect you to understand.”

With this remark, the prince closed his eyes and lowered his head. Channelling a burst of magical energy, he summoned a translucent hemisphere of magic that sat atop his head. The hemisphere served as a hat of some sort, providing a very limited amount of shade for the unicorn as he proudly looked towards his perplexed partners.

“An old trick that has been passed down for generations through my blood line,” Blueblood elaborated, not that anybody asked. He was obviously pleased with his magical prowess and saw Fairfeather and I’s collective silence as an indication that we were just as delighted as he was. Unfortunately for him, this was not the case.

“That was the one thing that you decided to learn?” I asked, swinging my arms about like someone who wasn’t melting in the sun. “Bloody hell; everything about you is a waste.”

“Of course, I have no intention in sharing this with either of you,” Blueblood continued, completely ignoring my comment. “Particularly the griffon.”

Fairfeather completely ignored this; we were all kind of numb to it at this point. Instead, the griffon turned to head towards our objective. “We don’t even want you here, dude,” he called out over his shoulder, no longer interested in the prince and his prejudices.

“Well then, we’ll go without you,” I added. “Come on FF, let’s go.”

“Is that me?” Fairfeather asked, looking around the dustbowl.

“Do you know what your initials are? Yes, it’s you- now come on.”

“You see me? I’m ahead of you.”

“Bloody won’t be for long.”

I ran up to Fairfeather and gave him a playful smack on the back of his head. It was a harder hit than I’d intended, shown by the griffon rubbing his head painfully and turning to look up at me in a mixture of shock and annoyance.

As Fairfeather stopped and stared, I strolled off towards the village with a slight spring in my step. I would’ve continued on, but an imminent confrontation behind my back caused me to trudge back to where I started.

“Spare us some water,” I heard Blueblood say behind me. In times like this, more sarcasm was clearly needed, but Fairfeather beat me to a reply with some sass of his own.

“Can’t hear you.”

“How dare you speak to me like that, you insolent-”

“-Yeah, that’s great, libertine,” I interjected. “If you need us, we’ll be going to where we’re actually supposed to go.” And with that, the two of us left, allowing the prince to wallow in his own self-importance.

“I hate that guy,” Fairfeather remarked as soon as we’d moved out of earshot. I scoffed in reply.

“Then let’s get this done before he decides to follow us.”

Blueblood’s decision to enjoy his time in the ‘shade’ had given us the perfect opportunity to advance in peace. Would you believe, the remaining steps to the village seemed that much lighter now that the dysfunctional trio had been transformed into a semi-functional duo.

Approaching the village in question, it appeared that the place wasn’t named after Starlight after all, as a sign showed the name ‘Our Town’. That was according to Fairfeather, at least.

“Well, this place looks about as cheerful as the Soviet Union…”

‘Our Town’ wasn’t too dissimilar to Ponyville; it was much more depressing. Exacerbated by the endless wasteland surrounding it, the town consisted of dirt roads and discoloured housing. Whether the houses were made from sandstone or from the dirt and dust on the floor, I didn’t care. I’d mentioned Barnsley before, but we were well past that.

Compared to the glitz and glam of Canterlot and even the relaxed reservedness of Ponyville, it felt as if ‘Our Town’ had been left resoundingly in the past. The uninspired, straight rows of dreary housing reminded me of the dreaded layouts of suburbia in 1950s America: formulaic and quickly assembled without much thought for the people living there. There were no plants, nor were there any water sources. The town really did seem like it was an afterthought and created out of desperation more than anything else.

There were ponies milling about, trying to make the most of the unfortunate circumstances that they were in. There were bakers, tailors; there was even a blacksmith by the looks of it. Full of smiles, hugs and cheery greetings, the citizens of ‘Our Town’, if nothing else, all seemed very tightknit. I suddenly felt very out of place.

“They’re all…very friendly, aren’t they?” I asked Fairfeather. We must’ve been stood in silence for a while, as my question made the griffon next to me jump slightly.

“Maybe Starbright brought them together,” Fairfeather suggested.

“Or maybe her removal did that instead. I don’t wanna stay here for any longer than I need to.”

It appeared that I was justified in feeling like an outcast. Alongside the more obvious reasons, I couldn’t imagine that these got many visitors at all. The inevitable stares weren’t unfamiliar to me at this point, but I still could’ve done without.

“I guess a human and griffon don’t come through here too often,” I suggested, slightly concerned with how the townsfolk would react to us. Fairfeather said nothing in return, instead constantly shifting his gaze, scanning the crowds for anyone who stood out.

The griffon quickly found something of interest: a small gaggle of important-looking ponies who were gathered around the remains of an old house. They were all engaged in some form of discussion, pointing their forelegs and writing on levitating notepads. “Those look like the kind of ponies we should be talking to,” he suggested, pointing at the group with his one-good forelimb.

“I mean, we don’t have any better ideas. Do you want to do the talking or shall I?” I asked, turning towards where I thought the griffon would be. He was far too efficient for my questions, however, as he had already darted towards the small crowd. I sprinted after him- perhaps too aggressively, as the group saw me coming and stiffened up.

“That didn’t help,” Fairfeather chided, having turned to watch my ill-thought approach.

“Well, don’t go without me then,” I replied. I crossed my arms for a moment before playfully whacking the back of Fairfeather’s head again. I was met with a claw poking against my cheek in response.

While we were doing that, I became aware of one of the members of the group in front of us approaching. There wasn’t much to him in terms of appearance. He had a neutral colour palette of white fur and blue eyes, as if his body was covered in chalk.

He looked to be simple in appearance, keeping his mane and tail short and sleek, although he looked more athletic than most. Lean, strong and prideful in the way that he raised his head, he must have been attractive for this world’s standards. Didn’t do much for me though.

“Welcome, friends!” the stallion called out with a wave. “We haven’t seen ponies like you before.” He gestured with his hoof as he spoke, moving between me and my feathered friend.

“I’m not too surprised. I don’t think you get many humans out here,” I answered plainly. I was sure that I would’ve been the main attraction, but this new stallion had found something much more worthwhile.

“Not just you, but this one as well. Such an interesting creature.”

The stallion took a moment to circle the pair of us, investigating his town’s bumbling intruders. Just like before, he showed much more of an interest in Fairfeather, and even as the third wheel, I felt intensely uncomfortable. I could only wonder how the griffon felt.

“My name is Double Diamond, and this is Our Town,” the stallion stated after finishing his inspection. He spun in a small circle as he spoke, clearly excited to show off the village to us. Sadly for Double Diamond, his audience didn’t hold the same esteem for the town as he did. Instead, we all stood in silence, creating a rather awkward scene for the ponies that moved around us. Double Diamond obviously felt the same, as he, again, was the first to speak up. “What brings you to Our Town?”

“We’re looking for someone,” I began as I folded my arms and looked down at the stallion. “Uh, under the orders of Princess Celestia.”

“Well, it must be somepony super special if the princess sent two of her finest soldiers. I can’t even remember the last time Celestia cast her glance towards Our Town…”

Double Diamond’s voice didn’t sit right with me. His inflections and the way he emphasised certain words made him sound as if he was constantly surprised with what he was saying. It was patronising in a way.

“…And if you have such an important mission, then everypony in Our Town would be happy to help you. Who are you looking for?”

“We’re-” I began.

“-Somepony named Starlight Glimmer,” Fairfeather interrupted. “We think she used to live here. Also, calm down, dude.”

I grimaced in pain as Fairfeather painfully prodded my side with a claw. As I resisted the urge to smack the griffon once more, Double Diamond began to speak again. This time, however, the stallion spoke with a more subdued tone.

“Now, why would you need to find her?”

“We’ve been ordered to bring her to Canterlot by the princesses. She is needed at Canterlot Castle.”

Fairfeather was calmness personified as he spoke- much to my surprise. Poor bugger couldn’t handle most social situations, but I suppose he was in the zone at that point. The griffon’s social prowess wasn’t the main thought on Double Diamond’s mind, however; his eyes wandered towards Fairfeather’s bow, clearly visible in its holster.

“You’re not gonna hurt her, are you?” the stallion asked as he took a step back, eyes shifting constantly between the griffon and his weapon. It appeared that Starlight’s name had attracted some attention as well; a small crowd had suddenly descended upon us. “Starlight doesn’t deserve that- orders or no orders.”

Whilst Double Diamond’s change in tone was nicer on my ears, it was indicative of the fact that the current situation was at risk of boiling over. “Maybe we should go get the prince,” Fairfeather suggested as he also caught on to the disturbance. “Maybe another pony’ll calm them down.”

“I cannot say that I am surprised of your desire for my presence.”

As if to answer our prayers, Blueblood had finally waltzed into town and entered the conversation. I was hoping- hoping against all odds- that the prince would keep things under control.

Unfortunately…

“And what kind of hole have you dug yourselves into? Have you found your harlot yet?”

I shouldn’t’ve expected anything else. The prince’s comment elicited several gasps from the ponies around us. Only for a moment, however, as the crowd of ponies drew ever closer.

“How could you say such a thing about our Starlight? She brought our town together,” Double Diamond proclaimed, eyes wide in shock. The crowd continued to close in, audibly enraged by the prince’s comment.

“And to have a Canterlot noble come to Our Town and insult our Starlight…”

“The best leader we’ve ever had!”

“This is the treatment we receive after so long?”

“A night in a cell should be enough to prove Starlight’s mercy!” Double Diamond cried, tilting his head to the sky as if Starlight was listening from the clouds above him. This was fanaticism of the highest order- cartoonishly so.

The stallion’s idea was met with resounding cheers from the crowd that had gathered around us. In an instant, my vision became enveloped by flailing forehooves, encasing me in their collective fury. “Now, hold on,” I implored as I raised my hands in a display of non-aggression. “We don’t need to do anything stupid.”

“I think that ship’s sailed, dude,” came the defeated voice of Fairfeather, having already laid his weapon down. “It’ll be better if we just give up.”

I wanted to protest, fearful of what these fanatics were likely to do to us, but, after seeing my friend already lay down his arms, I knew that this wasn’t my battle to win. Not everyone shared this mindset, though, as Blueblood made sure to showcase.

“Get your filthy hooves off of me, you invalids! Do you not know who I am?!”

It was impressive; even when I was actively in the process of being captured and imprisoned, the prince still happened to be the pony who I hated the most.

“Could you please hit him for us? We won’t mind.”

After several incredibly necessary hits to Blueblood’s face, the three of us were gracefully led to a small shack that could laughably be referred to as a ‘cell’. It was little more than a small, darkened room, devoid of any notable features. It didn’t even seem to be in disrepair; there was no mould, and the stone floor was well-cleaned and maintained. If it wasn’t for the lack of natural light, the room could almost be seen as ‘accommodating’.

Its only issue- aside from the fact that sleeping would be a bugger- was that it was barely large enough for us- even more so considering that the cell was already inhabited by another prisoner.

“Who’s this little girl?”

The ‘little girl’ was actually a young griffon, certainly younger than Fairfeather. Huddled in a corner at the far end of the room, it would have been easy to miss her if she wasn’t so brightly coloured. She looked practically volcanic, with molten red feathers that mellowed to a pastel orange on her underbelly. Her face was detailed with small flecks of yellow that encircled both her eyes, making them look like miniature suns from a distance.

Paired with her small frame, her bright colour scheme made her look even more juvenile than she likely was. Despite this, the colours that she possessed certainly helped her stand out in a crowd- or dark corner. It was only fitting, then, that, when provoked, this fiery challenger stepped out of the shadows and into the fray.

“Who’re you calling a ‘little girl’, you little runt?” she fired back against Fairfeather’s original question. “Calling me a little girl when your claws don’t work.” She gestured at her target’s disfigured claw, which he held in embarrassment.

“Oh, wonderful- now I must contend with two mosquitos filling my vision. How will I survive the night?” Blueblood lamented. He held his head as he spoke, turning away from us. That was the plan at least, until a claw embedded itself in his cheek and dragged him back to face the confrontation.

“Oh yeah, well, I don’t like you either, you prissy, pompous pony-prince,” the little one spat, her immature insults being both fast paced and largely irrelevant.

“Is no one here a likeable character?” I asked to myself as I also held my head in despair. I’d intended for my question to be hypothetical, but my new challenger didn’t let that stop her from turning to me, surely armed to the teeth with sensational criticism.

“And who have we here?” The best of the rest? The princess’ mascot of the month? Where are your strings, puppet?”

Her voice was youthful and full of spite. It reminded me of a child from my class: young, boisterous, mildly American and with a tone far more childlike than her choice of language. Her rapid-fire insults served as another reminder that she was likely still a child, which was concerning. In only a few days, I’d already come across two griffons, both children, alone in the wastes. These two were unlikely to be the only ones as well.

Nevertheless, I had a more pressing issue to deal with. It was time to pull out a classic teacher trick: talking down to children. I steeled myself and turned towards this ball of fire.

“Ah, you don’t really mean that,” I replied dismissively, waving my hand at the girl.

“Yeah, I do!”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yeah, I do- shut up!”

Even though she was busy losing her patience with me, she randomly wheeled around to glare at Blueblood again. This felt fairly pointless as the prince had long abandoned the exchange, but I could always appreciate some Blueblood slander. The little griffon blew air out of her mouth in frustration, flapping at several amber feathers that threatened to fall into her eyes.

“You really do hate him, don’t you?”

“Yeah! So?”

“You wonderful little fireball!”

“What-”

I scooped up the pint-sized griffon and pulled her into a strong hug. Knowing how much she must’ve despised what I was doing, I squeezed her, using my larger frame as leverage to pull her into an inescapable embrace. “We hate him too!”

Just as she had hated the prince, she very quickly came to hate the situation that she was in as well. I knew that she would; her mad scramble to escape proved that.

“G-get off me!”

I laughed at the griffon as she expertly used her modest bodyweight to throw me off balance, tossing me to the floor. In the tussle that followed, she was easily able to escape my grasp. She was very capable, it seemed, as she had practically made mincemeat out of me.

She also possessed some incredibly sharp claws, so I thanked my lucky stars that my face was still in one piece. Fairfeather and Blueblood both looked on, confused and concerned. If they were to both speak their minds, they may have actually been able to agree on something. Neither did so, though, so it was up to me once more to break the ice.

“What’s your name, sulky?”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Well, you can either tell me your name, or I can keep calling you ‘sulky’.”

“Fine. Autumn. My name’s Autumn.”

She must’ve been very young if she was to fold that quickly; I was expecting more. Her discomfort was clear: her face was red- redder than it had been, at least- and she had no interest in maintaining eye contact, instead casting her gaze towards the floor. She focused on the cracks between the stone slabs and appeared to be counting them. The rest of us watched as she traced one of her claws along one of the cracks, periodically closing her eyes and allowing her body to relax as she did so.

Much of the anger in the room dissipated during this lapse in conversation, allowing everyone a chance to breathe. Much like Autumn had, I also allowed my eyes to close as I thought about who this lost soul was. Her visible vulnerability was similar to what I’d seen in Fairfeather- albeit expressed in a different manner. I probably should’ve let her be, but I felt compelled to find out a little bit more about her.

“Autumn? That’s a lovely name.”

Autumn’s eyes shot open as she locked onto me in search of elaboration. I caught sight of her amber eyes, cautious and concerned- lacking much of the combative nature from earlier.

“No…” she started only for her voice to trail off. “…It’s stupid.”

Her voice continued to sound more and more subdued as she spoke, losing much of the venom behind her words as they dragged themselves from her mouth. She reverted to interacting with the floor, her claws audibly scratching at the slabs.

Things stayed like this for another moment. With the intermittent scratching serving as the room’s soundtrack, I moved my attention back to the other griffon. “Hey,” I whispered to Fairfeather. “Come on, mate- you’re a griffon. Go talk to her.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I dunno- go and get her onside. She might be helpful to us.”

“What am I gonna say?”

“Fucking hell, mate- you gotta do stuff for yourself sometimes.”

“Fuck you, dude. Why should I-”

“-Do you two ever shut up?” asked a frustrated voice from the far side of the room. Autumn looked over from her corner in annoyance as she picked herself up and ambled back towards us.

“For once, I agree with the riffraff,” came the dissenting voice of Blueblood, who idly flapped a hoof towards our little gathering as he combed his mane. Nobody paid any attention to the prince or his comment- and maybe it was better that way.

“Oh, yeah, uh, sorry,” Fairfeather said in a flustered fashion. “We were just talking and-”

“-I guess we were quite loud-” I interjected.

“-Shut up. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Well, I know that. But we should probably work on the volume of our voices next ti-”

Our minor clash-of-heads was uninterrupted by a clash of heads. A very painful one as Autumn smashed both mine and Fairfeather’s noggins together, causing me to cry out as Fairfeather’s sharper facial features dug into my skin.

“That’s better!” Autumn cheerfully proclaimed, beaming with pride in appreciation of her handiwork.

“What did you do that for?!” I hissed between the bouts of pain that were shooting through my head. “Christ, that hurt.” I squatted down and rubbed at my face, lamenting my decision to engage with others on a social level.

“Perhaps you should not have crouched down to his level,” Blueblood commented from his allocated space, also enjoying the show. “It would have saved you the headache.”

“Keeping good eye contact is beneficial for my social development…”

“Very stupid,” Autumn chided with what was probably a wink. Her joyful smile did little to take the pain away.

“You can stop using that word now,” I suggested. “It makes you sound a bit… ‘stupid’.” I made quote marks with my fingers to emphasise the overused word of ridicule. The removal of my hands from my face proved to be a foolish idea, as another flick to my sensitive skin caused me to cry out again.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Autumn shouted back at me, making a show of frustration. She kept a frown on her face, but it’d lost much of its authenticity.

“I’m not. I’m just saying that you could do with expanding your vocabulary.”

“…What? Whatever.”

And there you go. Her dour mood returned as she slumped back to her corner. Or at least, she would have done- had I not asked her another question.

“Why the name ‘Autumn’?”

“What?”

“Is there a reason that you’re called ‘Autumn’?”

“…”

“…”

Autumn looked down at the floor, staring at the slabs in concentration. As I coerced the girl from her corner, she thought about an answer to give.

“…They said I looked like the Fall leaves, but ‘Fall’ was a stupid name.”

The griffon’s vulnerability was only partially visible before this exchange, yet it now shone almost blindingly. She had fully disappeared into her corner again after this latest overshare. I was probably pushing it by dragging her back out again.

“I don’t think it’s a stupid name.”

“…Both of ‘em are stupid names.”

“Of course, they’re not. Both suit you very well.”

“Yeah,” Fairfeather unfortunately interjected. “But they could’ve picked an angrier name like ‘Volcano’ or ‘Molten’-”

Fairfeather was thankfully interrupted by a resounding slap.

“Shut up.”

“You absolutely deserved that,” I commented, pointing at the injured griffon as he rubbed the side of his face. My amusement was short lived, though, as my momentary lapse of concentration left me vulnerable to a slap of my own.

“I said, ‘Shut up’!” Autumn barked at me, almost sullenly so. “I don’t like it. So, stop.” She sat back down and crossed her forelimbs over her torso, resembling a human crossing their arms.

“Alright, alright. It’s too late for any more repressed emotions anyway,” I relented. “I’m finding somewhere to sleep.”

“Help yourself,” Fairfeather gleefully gestured towards the cold stone in front of him. I couldn’t be arsed to say anything; instead, I wordlessly lay down and tried to find respite within the slabs.

“That’s twice, now, that she’s given you a deserved beating!” Blueblood concluded with renewed smugness. Like clockwork, we all completely ignored him, instead trying to find a comfortable piece of stone to rest our injured heads.

“I’m beginning to think that you all dislike me.”

Chapter 8: A Restless Slumber pt. 1

“…Well, it is only natural that mosquitos such as yourselves would wish to break free from this place. I’m sure that you have done this many times before.”

“You’re stuck in here with us too, you lowlife…”

I don’t know how many hours had passed before I opened my eyes and lifted my head from the stone floor. It mustn’t’ve been that many as I was completely unable to get my thoughts in order. I groggily turned towards my fellow prisoners; I already knew who they were because of the confrontation that they were engaged in.

“Oh really- I’m the lowlife? Brave words from the one who sleeps in a sewage drain.”

“That’s it! I’m gonna ram your horn up your-”

“-Do you two wanna shut up?” I interjected as I rubbed my eyes, unimpressed with the loud confrontation in front of me. “I’m trying to sleep…”

“I’m tryna break this door down,” Fairfeather explained, showing little interest in my discomfort. He gestured towards the door in question as he spoke, which interested me for whatever reason. Despite how braindead I felt, I still felt a strong urge to move towards the shack’s entryway and inspect it further.

Illuminated by a pale light that had no discernible source, I could’ve sworn that the door looked slightly different than it had done during the day, although that could have been due to the new light that fell upon it. Pristine in appearance and shimmering from the illumination that it likely contained, the door appeared to pulsate slightly, suggesting that some incredible mass of energy was contained behind it.

I subconsciously reached out and touched the door with my finger, curious about it and eager to feel it on my skin. The moment I did so, however, the door thrust itself open, revealing a wall of darkness beyond it.

Now, this was interesting. Thoroughly intrigued, there was no way that I was going to simply ignore this development, so I stepped into the void with little hesitation.

“Woah. Déjà vu.”

I stepped into a place that I instantly recognised. A flat plane of darkness and sunlight stretched out before me, bringing me those cosy, familiar feelings of distress and despair. Familiar whisps of pastel colours gave me something to focus on before a loud voice boomed across the landscape.

“GREETINGS, DENIZEN OF THIS RESTLESS MIND!”

The realm practically shook from the force as another entity announced their presence. The words that were spoken were of such a volume that they could only have originated from an incredible, all-powerful-

“Wait, I recognise that voice,” I announced to the empty plane. It was my favourite little night-mare. “Come on out, Luna!”

As if the mention of her name caused her to materialise, Luna appeared above me in a ball of blue light. I expected something more grandiose, but the princess appeared less-than-impressed with my middling reaction to her display of power. Therefore, she ruined her own entrance by lowering herself to the ground with an annoyed expression.

“You are supposed to stand here in awe and wonder until I arrive.”

She may’ve been a bit angry by my conduct, but truth be told, in that moment, I was just as stoic as she was.

“Well, I’ve been here before and you gave me an earful yesterday, so I know what you sound like.”

Giving up on the possibility of leaving her audience starstruck, Luna sighed in resignation.

“It is most underwhelming for you to break this cycle.”

“Yeah, well, I’m tired so I don’t have time for this anyway.”

“But we have all the time in the night for this discussion, for I speak to you in your dreamscape.”

“My dreamscape? So, this is my dream? I thought this place was, uh…what’s it called again? ‘Celestial…’”

“The Celestial Plane. I’m glad that you remember it so vividly.”

“I only remember it because the trauma of this place is burned into my psyche. And the colours are pretty.”

“Of that, I can agree. The exact structure and design of the dreamscape varies depending on the individual, and this is the form that you subconsciously chose. It is the Celestial Plane, yet it is not- if you allow me to be cryptic.”

I simply rolled my eyes.

“I hope that your head is clearer than it was the last time that we spoke here,” Luna commented, undeterred by my disrespectful gesture.

“I’d say ‘yes’, but there must be some reason that you’ve brought me here. Some form of peril, no doubt.”

I crossed my arms and slumped slightly, no doubt looking like I’d regressed back to my teenage years. There was no way that I was going to receive any good news from this little princess, but I was open to being surprised.

“Shockingly, no- at least, not you, specifically,” Luna stated, leaving me overjoyed, as you can probably tell. “You are safe for tonight. Safe, yet also confused, if the look on your face is an adequate indication.”

The mare was correct. Of course, she was. The prospect of a positive change in circumstances was so far removed from my expectations that the slightest mention of safety was surely enough for my jaw to hit the floor.

After getting my wild expectations under control, a thought quickly popped into my mind. “This is a very surreal experience for me. Most humans don’t have control in their dreams,” I explained to Luna. I looked down at my hands while I spoke, wiggling my fingers as if to test the validity of my own statement. I appeared to be in control, although it took a long while of finger-flexing to reach that conclusion.

“I expected as much,” Luna replied contentedly. “You humans are both simple and complex without any rhyme or reason. I would find it amusing, had it not taken such a great amount of effort to bring you and your foals’ minds to this place.”

“What do you mean? How can you ‘bring’ minds?”

Any concept of melding minds slowed my thinking to a crawl. Luckily, Luna was more than happy to provide a demonstration. Her horn glowed with magic as she summoned two separate wooden doors, each crudely decorated and what I would picture a ‘child-mind-door-thing’ to be like, if, God forbid, such an image exists.

“You see, each mind can be entered and exited at will- so long as one holds the power to do so. I like to do so with a unique door for each pony’s mind. A ‘Moonsters Inc.’ sort of scenario if you will!”

“…”

I don’t think I need to tell you how I felt about this bastardisation of a childhood classic. Luna may’ve been beside herself in admiration of her wordplay, but I answered her with a look of perhaps the strongest display of disinterest that there had ever been. Upon noticing my frosty attitude, the princess did her best to explain.

“…I saw something of a familiar name in your memories. Its viewing was a cherished experience?”

I continued with my silence. Again, I considered such a flagrant misuse of my childhood nostalgia to be puzzling at best. Christ, man- get your own memories. As my disdain developed, and with her explanation going nowhere, the princess felt that further elaboration may be necessary.

“…It is a pun, you see. It builds a strong camaraderie between partners, I have been told.”

She raised a foreleg and swung it about in a poorly understood ‘We can do it!’ sort-of motion. It wasn’t compelling. “It builds a strong sense of mental decline if you butcher it,” I commented before sighing loudly. “I told you I was tired.”

“Ah, but fret not, for you are still asleep. This is all a dream.”

“But you-”

“-But I am very real.”

This conversation was pointless, so I turned away from the mare and knelt down.

“…I want to go to bed.”

Unfortunately, Luna did not care for my desires. Instead, she allowed me to lie down and find a comfortable spot on the floor before picking me back up with her magic. I swear that she smiled in amusement as she watched the contentedness on my face revert to mild disappointment.

“Listen, it is I. I am Princess Luna from the real world. And this is my line of work at night when the ponies of Equestria sleep.”

With that, I clicked my fingers as I remembered something important.

“Oh, so that’s why you’re always sleeping during the day.”

Luna was not particularly happy with that comment.

“You have been here for less than a week- you have no right to comment on our sleeping habits!”

“Well-”

“-And if you have consciously recognised that we rest during the day, then why do you choose to wake us at goodness-knows-what hours of the day to help with your menial-”

“-Christ, love, as long as you’re not going on about it…”

Huffing in frustration, Luna pushed one of her…‘Moonsters Inc.’ doors in front of me. “…Just open the door, you scruffy biped.”

Before doing as I was ever-so politely instructed, I had a look at the door in front of me. If I was to imagine what a young girl’s bedroom door would look like- and that is not something that I do regularly- this would likely be it: small, pink, and with a single white flower on its surface. As my eyes traced over the surface, I noticed several cracks and flakes that had embedded themselves into the material; a standard sign of wear-and-tear. Much like the door that I’d previously stepped through, there was a clear pulse behind this entryway as well.

I brushed my hand against the door’s surface, placing my palm against the flower. Doing so caused the door to slowly open, revealing a white light behind it- seemingly the polar opposite to the void that I’d seen before my arrival to the dreamscape.

“Hmm. It seems that you have figured that out for yourself.”

The light from within was far too much for me to handle. Piercing, blinding- whatever words you want to use. To tell the truth, I found it awfully intimidating and I looked back at Luna for some form of reassurance.

“You coming?”

Luna raised her head and looked away from me in response.

“I will be with you shortly. I have several other matters to attend to first.”

And with that, she flapped her wings and disappeared in another ball of light, leaving behind nothing more than erratic strands of deep blue that waved through the air before fading away themselves. I wanted to say some form of snide comment before Luna left, yet, with the prospect of entering another’s mind literally at my fingertips, I found myself incapable of doing anything other than walking forwards into the light.

Much like the journey into my apparent dreamscape, the transition through this new door was near-instantaneous. The change in brightness was difficult to adjust to, and my vision recovered just in time to witness the violation of my other senses. It was the physical manifestation of sensory overload, like when you recognise so many different stimuli at once that your brain is unable to interpret them all simultaneously.

But it was the sounds around me that hurt the most. A discordant cacophony of numerous different voices flooded my ears, creating an overwhelming assault on my mind. The sounds came and went seemingly at random and made it difficult for me to focus on anything- let alone what I was actually hearing.

Through the struggle to regain control of my mind, I became barely aware of a faintly shimmering veil of light. It flickered slightly as I tried to focus on it, most closely resembling the surface of a large bubble. It was the only thing that I was able to focus on for any worthwhile period of time, so I forced myself to move towards it and eventually breach its surface.

Upon breaching the pocket of space, I found myself in a small, circular area that was thankfully devoid of any noise or distractions- mainly because it was practically devoid of anything. The only objects that filled the space were a table and some crayons, although they weren’t the main feature. That honour belonged to the only thing that mattered to me: the auburn-haired girl who sat at the table in the centre.

“Well, this is Eva’s dream then.”

Well, it was a 50/50 either way. There could only have been two people to choose from and I chose the shy one. It was easy to assume, then, that Eve’s dream was just next-door, but there was no way that I was going to give up the chance to see whatever the hell this little one was dreaming about. It wasn’t every day that one could enter another’s mind like this. In a literal sense, at least. Is this literal?

Before I could get close to the little girl, however, another child entered the space. I recognised this one: Teddy- another child from Eva’s class. I also question the mindset of a parent who names their child ‘Teddy’, but there you go. Not for me to judge. Although I already have.

Regardless, the child moved in a dead-straight line, as if in a trance, before stopping inches away from Eva. He opened his mouth to speak, but the noises that came out of his mouth only vaguely resembled English, sounding more like a babble. I imagine it’s how English sounds to non-English speakers.

Eva appeared to notice this noise, though. She raised her head and spoke to him in a disengaged tone, speaking in the same babble-like way, as she engaged in an unintelligible conversation with the boy. It was unsettling to see Eva reduced to something so mindless, particularly as the girl’s eyes were glazed over, with little sign of any conscience behind them.

Even as she spoke to the boy, she was barely looking in his direction and appeared to not even be fully aware of his presence. She may’ve been absent at times before, but this looked like someone whose consciousness was on autopilot. Luckily for me, it looked as if Teddy was on his way out, so I waited for the boy to leave before approaching the little girl in the centre.

“Eva?”

I crouched down beside the little one as I spoke, only to watch her completely ignore me and turn her attention back to her crayons. She haphazardly threw her hand into a pile of pencils before grabbing a colour at random and carelessly waving her hand above a piece of paper, likely attempting to colour it in.

There was something darkly comedic about the level of absence to her movements- she hadn’t actually hit the paper, for God’s sake- but that didn’t make the scene any less difficult to sit through. I called out to her again, with slightly more urgency.

“Eva…!”

The girl’s head immediately shot up to greet me, eyes still glazed over and barely focused. She spoke in the same way as she had previously, which was concerning, but it was probably better than ignoring me entirely.

“Eva!”

I crouched down again and firmly shook her shoulders, watching as her eyes rolled around in her skull. I was beginning to wonder about the effects that this confrontation would have on the girl’s mind, but I was thankfully interrupted by a sudden gasp for air.

I felt the girl in my arms stiffen up slightly as she took in several deep breaths of air, eyes shut tightly. When they opened, they looked clearer and more focused, as if a new level of consciousness had been bestowed upon them. It didn’t take long for her to find me, and she acted quickly when she did.

“Mr. Bayard!”

She was quick at wrapping herself around me at least. Since I was already holding the little thing, she didn’t have far to travel, so I suppose I shouldn’t give her too much credit. I mean, with the way she lazily flopped forward, she practically forced me to hold her up. Maybe she didn’t have the strength to sit on her own.

“Good morning!”

But she didn’t let her lack of strength slow her down. The girl’s tone was syrupy-sweet as she beamed up at me with a toothy grin. Looking at her smile, I found it difficult to speak, so I pulled her in again for a second, stronger embrace. She didn’t let this last long, though, as the comfortable silence was broken by her questioning, “Where were you earlier? I didn’t see you come in.”

It appeared that Eva didn’t understand the situation that she was in. Judging by how difficult it was for me to understand, I wasn’t surprised. “How do I phrase this?” I wondered as I looked off to the side. How was I supposed to explain something as complex as this to a child?

Even as I surely frowned in frustration, I could see the little girl in my arms smiling up at me, swinging her arms from side-to-side as she patiently waited. “Well, we’re both dreaming,” I said to the confused child, unsurprised when she looked back at me blankly. “And we’re both in your dream.”

That wasn’t too difficult to explain- likely because I doubt I really said anything. Naturally, this left Eva with some questions.

“So, we’re not at school?”

I felt the little one push away from me as she stood up with the intent of exploring the area that she was in. It became obvious as she struggled to stand that much of her strength had been lost to this place; the reasons for this were unclear. I couldn’t just leave her to flop about, so I stood up as well, lending her my strength as she leaned into me.

“No,” I answered simply, shaking my head quite emphatically. I was faintly aware- but not really- of how such a mindfuck could affect someone, so I forced some kind of sickly smile on my face, lest reality unnerved this poor soul in front of me. “You’re just dreaming about school.”

This was obviously still difficult for the Eva to understand, no matter how hard she tried. And she certainly did try. I don’t know how long I stood there, watching the girl think to herself, but it was long enough for me to consider what the hell time was around here.

As the little one stood and thought to herself, I couldn’t help but grin at the sight of her blank face, full to the brim with confusion. “So, why are you here?” Eva bluntly asked once she had processed the situation. I responded with a shrug.

“Why not?”

“‘Why not’?”

“Yeah. I wanted to come see you.”

This explanation was apparently good enough for Eva as she jumped away from me and seemingly recuperated, never losing her smile. She swayed excitedly from side-to-side as she looked as if she wanted to say something.

“Mr. Bayard?”

“Yeah?”

“I missed you.”

The girl’s smile was the widest I could remember seeing it. It was a beautiful sight- had we not been in some form of vortex and the smile itself being the result of some very short-term longing for company.

“It’s only been a day.”

“But I missed you!”

She was more adamant as she repeated her sentence, frowning slightly and stamping her foot in frustration. This was similarly something that I couldn’t remember seeing before, but I still knew that she was desperate for me to say only one small thing to her, and I was happy to oblige.

“I missed you too, then.”

“The colours make me feel ill.”

After our previous conversation had died down, Eva stood on the outer edge of the area that we were contained in, staring at the barrier between this space and the next. Even as she spoke, she couldn’t peel her eyes away from the wall of colours and noises, transfixed by the movement that was concealed behind it.

She could’ve been forgiven for being enraptured by the outer surface: the picture it painted was a difficult one to digest. The noises and the lights from outside combined to create a crude and unfinished interpretation of the outside world, consisting of warping colours, textures and bouts of laughter that one could barely associate with a high-activity classroom.

“Yeah, it’s a…it’s a mess,” I remarked, scratching the back of my neck and remembering the way that my senses had been violated upon my arrival. “Don’t look at it too much: it’s easy to forget where you are when you look at it.”

“But I heared you.”

Eva interrupted my warning by bringing up a new subject, as if she was unsuccessfully trying to connect two separate thoughts together. “I was so stuck in my drawing, but I still heard you. So, I looked up and you were there.” I wasn’t completely sure if she was even talking to me at this point as she was continuing to stare at the mass of colours that whirled around us. “But I couldn’t move,” she added, sadly.

Any of my concerns about me being forgotten were dispelled in an instant as Eva turned back to face me, face wet with tears. “Eh, eh, eh!” I exclaimed as I rushed to her side. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Once I was there, I felt much of the child’s strength leave her body.

“I don’t know…”

Eva seemed incapable of explaining anything- maybe speech itself was beyond her at that precise moment. As she limply rested in my arms, the only indication of her presence was a slight yet noticeable shaking that had overtaken her entire body. I said nothing, holding the girl in my arms until she regained control of her mind.

“Existential crisis, eh?” I whispered to myself, unaware if Eva had lost me again. I looked down at her face for some form of response. The only sign of consciousness from the girl was the pronounced blinking of her eyes, as if she was blinking tears away.

I moved back to the table and sat down next to it, Eva leaning on my chest as she remained in my lap. “Don’t you worry- you’re safe now,” I reassured the little one’s little form, hoping that she was still in there somewhere.

I had hoped that I could sit in silence and wait for Eva to come back to her senses, if she could at all. Almost immediately, however, I was interrupted by someone that I didn’t expect to see: me. Specifically, some form of interpretation of Mr. Bayard.

“God, I’m an ugly bastard.”

The ugly bastard looked a bit like me, with a few differing features. These features were all around its face, with an impossibly large smile that made it look more like a demon from the harshest of nightmares. The cruel interpretation grinned discerningly as jet-black hair messily fell in front of its right eye- a far cry from the brown curls that I possessed.

The more I looked at it, the less it resembled me. To a child, it must’ve been terrifying, but the sight of it only served to fill me with a type of disgust that was difficult to justify. Wearing an oversized dress-shirt, the creature began to approach us with the same uncanny movement as Teddy had before; it was definitely something that Eva had dreamed up.

I wasn’t really in the mood for a boss fight against myself, yet it looked like there were few other possible scenarios. Luckily though, the amalgamation stopped in front of Eva and I. Looking down at the girl, it began to speak to her in the same babble that all the others in the dream had used.

“Mister…”

Eva gave a subconscious reply as I felt her move, reacting to the babble that invaded her ears. I felt her body shift as she turned to look at the mockery of Mr. Bayard. Again, it was if I no longer existed. “Eva…?” I asked to the empty shell in my arms. The girl’s name fell on deaf ears as the apparition above her reached an arm out for her to grab.

“Mister…”

Repeating herself, Eva slowly stretched out her arm with the intent to meet the apparition halfway. No chance was I losing her to that thing, so I swatted at the girl’s hand, wrenching her body away in order to shield her from the apparition’s advance.

“Mister…”

Eva continued to repeat that cursed word as she looked to have succumbed to the meaningless babble that had infected her mind. I strengthened my grip on the little one, denying every attempt she made to push away from me.

“Don’t do this, Eva…”

I pushed Eva’s head deeper into my chest, placing a hand over the back of it to keep it shielded. Although she was still trying to push away from me, I felt her begin to repeatedly shake her head in a resounding ‘no’. She once again had her eyes firmly closed- strained shut, even- focused on her thoughts as if her body and her mind weren’t speaking the same language.

“Stop…” she weakly called out, and that was all I needed. I began to stroke at the side of the girl’s face, whispering to her and closing my own eyes, trying to will the encroaching creature away.

“You’re better than this, Eva…”

Feeling the strength at which Eva pushed away from me decreasing, I increased my own efforts, pulling her in even harder as her mind’s will overpowered her body’s.

“Stop…” I heard the little one croak out as her breathing became deeper and more purposeful. I was sure that this fight was now mine to lose, but also one that I couldn’t participate in, so I continued with my verbal support.

“Fight it, Eva…”

Daring to glance up, I watched as the apparition’s hand stopped just in front of me, harmlessly hovering above Eva’s head. “Let me go…” the little girl murmured, her voice becoming slightly more forceful as she strained the muscles in her throat, trying to push the words out. I knew that she needed one final push, so I placed a kiss on her forehead before calling out to her one last time.

“Do it, Eva.”

With one final shake, Eva raised her head to the heavens and let out a fearful wail.

“Stop!”

Everything fell silent as the space became overwhelmed with a single, overwhelming rumble. As if the power of her voice had halted the passage of time, the world that Eva had created froze in place. There were no more sounds; no more lights; even the colour had drained from the outer border. And as the colour of the world drained, its foundations began to disintegrate in tandem.

Starting from the space above us, the sound of decay overcame the empty silence as nothingness claimed all that had once existed in the dream. Eating away at the area around us, I kept Eva’s head close to my chest as I watched the world fade away, leaving only the darkness that I’d walked into when I’d initially entered the dreamscape.

Once the metaphorical dust had settled, I knew where I needed to go, and I had no plans to leave Eva alone in a place like this. I picked myself and the crying child up and headed off into the void.

Before fully allowing myself to be consumed by the darkness, I dared to take one look back at the apparition. Previously overjoyed and forceful, it stared back at me with empty eyes, before it also disintegrated into nothingness, becoming nothing more than a faded memory.

Chapter 9: A Restless Slumber pt. 2

Luna waited around the space where the door to Eva’s mind had previously stood. She had sensed the turmoil in the young girl’s mind yet had decided against involving herself. In her mind, one human better understands another, so she likely felt that her input was unnecessary if I had indeed intervened in the girl’s troubles.

Her theory was proven half-correct as I suddenly emerged from a corresponding void a short distance away from her. I carried the still-shaking Eva as I approached the princess, sitting down with the child just as I’d done with her within her dream, content on waiting for her to recover.

Eva shifted her body slightly and flung her arms around my neck, pulling herself further up my torso. I was expecting her to be docile for a while and was thus unprepared for this change in position. Resultingly, I lost my balance, landing quite painfully on my back. The distraught child, face soaked with tears, stayed with me as I collapsed, flopping lifelessly back onto my chest once we hit the ground.

“I’m sorry…” the little girl softly spoke to herself as she lay there, her voice barely audible. She was clearly still reeling from the collapse of her dream and seemed burdened with the after-effects of the trance-like state that had previously overtaken her.

In an attempt to soothe her mind, I interrupted her forlorn mumbling with another kiss on her forehead- although I questioned the appropriateness of this action immediately after I committed to it. The night may’ve gotten to me, but, looking back, I don’t think that was an excuse for such an emotional escalation.

“I don’t blame you for doing what you did- you have nothing to be sorry for,” I reassured Eva. Looking down at the little one, I could see tears once again force their way through her closed eyes. This time, however, the wetness on her face was thankfully accompanied by a fragile smile. “You did a good job today, after everything that happened.”

I felt her stretch her limbs, willing the strength back to her muscles. Despite doing so, she still refused to leave her place on my chest, so I continued with my reassurance. “We’ll stay here for as long as we need-”

“-I’m scared,” Eva interjected, voice barely above a whisper. “I want to go home.” Her voice cracked as she spoke, proving to be as shaky as her body had been. I expected this conversation to occur at some point, so I sat myself up and prepared to explain the situation to the little one.

“I’m trying to get us home, sweetheart. That’s why I’ve gone-”

“-No!”

She interrupted me again with a screech of desperation. Using both of her arms, she pushed against me as she spoke, causing her to fall backwards and onto the floor. She recovered from her fall well, springing up onto her feet quickly. I did the same.

“Stay here,” she solemnly stated. She gave a single point to the floor, desperately emphasising her request. Her apparent desire to stay in this location was confusing, and I wondered why she would be so against leaving this place.

“But I thought you wanted to go home.”

Eva made an effort to look me in the eyes before she spoke again. It was difficult to match her gaze; her eyes painted a picture of fear and frustration that she could never hope to portray through speech alone. “I want you to stay. With me.”

I didn’t know what to say. The place that we stood felt as temporary as anything, and we were separated in reality. On both grounds, I would’ve been a liar if I’d committed to anything other than silence. I know what Eva wanted to hear, but I was aware that giving in to my emotions would be irresponsible.

As a result of this, I looked over to Luna in the hope that she would finally contribute to the conversation. Luckily, the mare stepped forward, having decided that the situation finally required her input. “I am sure that your guardian is desperate to see you again, young one,” Luna explained to the child, catching her off-guard. “But there is one final task that he must complete.”

Eva wanted to protest against Luna’s explanation- and I was surprised that she did not do so- but the mare was always good at leaving children speechless.

“Besides, do you not think that your sister wishes to see him too?”

The mention of her sister’s name gave Eva a sudden burst of energy. She ran towards Luna, hoping that the princess would elaborate. “Evie’s here too?” she asked, bobbing up and down in anticipation of seeing her sister. In an instant, she had forgotten about her distress, instead displaying behaviour that was a far-cry from the fearful form that she had possessed moments earlier.

Luna kept herself composed, upholding her image in spite of her audience’s evident excitement. “She is currently in her own dream- just as you have been for much of the night.”

“I wanna see!”

“Go ahead, my sobbing friend,” Luna answered, summoning the door to Eve’s dream. “But do make sure to bring a grown-up,” she added quickly, having the nerve to wink at me, as if I was enjoying the idea of uncovering further mental trauma.

“Do I get a say in this?” I asked dejectedly. I didn’t know who to look to for support; neither option seemed likely to spare me.

“Nope!” Eva shouted in response, grabbing me by the arm and hauling me over towards the door. I reluctantly agreed to being dragged along; saying that I abandoned the hope of a peaceful night implied that I had that hope to begin with. Therefore, faced with no other choice than to proceed, I mentally prepared myself for another traumatic experience.

Before I opened the door, I took notice of the image on its surface. It showed the same white flower that was on Eva’s door; the only difference was that many of the petals had been removed, laying in a heap on the lower-right side of the picture. That wasn’t exactly a great image to start with.

“Make sure to hold my hand really tightly, okay?”

You couldn’t believe how delighted I was when I felt my feet touch the ground again. I was similarly delighted to see that Eva had held onto my hand as she stood beside me in silence, slight trembles showcasing either excitement or fear- likely a mixture of both. I was confused by the girl’s desire to come here after what she had already experienced in her own dream; perhaps her longing to see her sister outweighed any hesitation that her mind may’ve held.

It appeared that both of the girls had school on their minds as I stepped forward onto the coarse surface of a familiar playground. The worn tarmac beneath my feet reminded me of not only the time that I’d spent as a teacher, but as a student in my own time. It hadn’t really changed.

I broke out into a sprint, tearing through the playground with Eva holding on for dear life. It just felt so real: the fresh air, the background noise- everything. It likely wasn’t, and I even doubted that the elevated heartrate that I felt was coming from my physical body. After rounding a corner, however, I suddenly stopped as I caught sight of the reason that I was here in the first place.

In direct contrast to Eva’s dream, Eve found herself as the centre of attention. This would usually be fairly unexceptional- had she not been in the centre of a negative situation. It looked to be some form of confrontation, if the girl’s erratic movements and raised voice were good indications.

The sight of Eve certainly animated Eva; it was her turn to drag me along as she bounded towards her sister, showing little care towards the flustered state that the raven-haired girl looked to be in.

It was only when she got close enough to see the emotion on her sister’s face that Eva stopped in her tracks- and it was easy to see why. Whilst struggling for breath, I was able to catch occasional glimpses at Eve’s face as she moved in a circle in tandem with an older boy that I didn’t recognise.

I thought that I would’ve encountered Eve in a similar state to her sister, but this was evidently not the case. Unlike the comatose state of her sibling before her, Eve’s eyes were focused and projected a clear display of emotion to the person who confronted her. Her body movements were decisive and clearly thought out, suggesting a greater level of consciousness and control than Eva had had within her dream. I’d never seen her like this.

The girl’s anger was clear, although I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out who her target of scorn was. The child across from her was a young boy, likely a few years older than her due to his increased height. He had the same glazed eyes as all the other people in these dreams seemed to possess, which made Eve’s focused eyes stand out even more. He lacked the fluidity of movement that Eve possessed, instead replicating the staggered movement of the people in the dream from earlier.

I found it difficult to discern the facial features of the boy because they appeared to change every time that I blinked; the colour of the boy’s eyes, the marks on his face and even the colour of his hair all changed slightly with no visible rhythm to their changes. The boy didn’t even seem like much of a threat, seemingly moving around not due to free will but because he was programmed to do so.

Either way, Eve looked as if she was ready to burst with rage- and it was clear who the likely recipient of her outburst would be. Thinking of the correct actions to take, I looked down at Eva, whose hand was still in mine. It appeared that the one at my side was also at a loss, as she did nothing other than stare forward at the confrontation, similarly rooted to the spot.

The two of us were soon to bear witness to the consequence of our joint indecision as Eve lunged at the boy. It was a mystery as to whether the girl was aware of anyone else in her dream, but it didn’t matter anymore. It was clear what she was focused on.

Being barely old enough to be able to balance on one foot correctly, Eve was unable to put much power or technique behind her attack, but the sight was still difficult to stomach. She viciously swung disjointed punches, slaps and kicks at the boy who made no attempt to defend himself.

In her rage, she used her smaller frame to her advantage, punching up at the boy’s neck as he continued to soak up a barrage of punishment. She would alternate between punches and kicks with an unexpected level of fluency, dull thuds silencing all other sounds as she began to strike at any place that she could reach.

With an audible crack, the boy suddenly collapsed and huddled on the floor in a state of submission for the rest of the assault, as Eve made loud and forceful kicks to the boy’s stomach. The sound of deep thuds re-emerged as the raven-haired girl all-but screamed from exertion as she continued to lay waste to the boy’s torso.

Mortified, I looked on as the girl’s face never changed expression. There was nothing behind those eyes; there was no hint of any care as to the pain that she was inflicting. Her glare was absolute, and she kept it fixed on the boy that she continued to assault.

“That’s enough.”

Despite how sickening it felt to watch as one of my little ones lay waste to a defenceless target, I knew that standing around accomplished nothing. As a result, I approached the girl from behind and mumbled some form of rebuke. Too preoccupied in causing damage to her target, Eve was caught off-guard as she became ensnared, violently struggling like a fly in a web.

I lifted her into the air and away from the boy, who continued to lie in the same position that he had been brought down to earlier. Angered, Eve continued to move her arms and legs, trying her best to wriggle out of my grasp.

“Let me go!”

Through all the struggling, I did my best to keep Eve at arm’s reach, hoping that an intervention from an adult would be enough to calm her down.

“Eve! Stop this!”

“Let me go!”

With this second warning, Eve’s flailing arms finally connected with my face. I’d been warned by her earlier wriggling, but I didn’t think that she’d go that far. I felt something trickle down my right cheek, and, sure enough, an experimental wipe along my skin indeed indicated that the sight of impact had begun to bleed.

I barely felt the pain- it was a small burn at most- but this was something that I couldn’t allow myself to tolerate. Using the slight pain as my incentive, I wrenched Eve around and forced her to look me in the eyes.

“Eve!”

At the second time of asking, the girl’s eternal anger softened as she realised whose eyes she looked into. The hatred that threatened to spill from her eyes evaporated under my intense glare, leaving behind an ever-growing sense of dismay that drained the colour from her face. Much like her sister before her, her body lost all of its strength as she awaited her punishment. I practically growled as I glared down at her lifeless body as she trembled with fear.

“What the hell was that?!”

I suddenly dropped the assailant and used my now-free arms to angrily point at the boy’s body, which still lay on the floor a short distance from us. Eve recovered from her fall and tried to compose herself, although she failed spectacularly as she faced the consequence of her actions. “He hit me…” she attempted to say. I could barely hear her as she was clearly struggling. But that didn’t matter anymore. I never wanted to see anything like this again.

“And that makes it all okay, does it?!” I shouted in the girl’s face, causing her to noticeably flinch. She lost the ability to look at me at all, focusing on the ground in case she received further ire.

“He hit me first…”

She shook in place as she looked to be fighting the urge to cry, feeling her anger begin to build up again. This wasn’t enough to dissuade me, so I continued to pile on the pressure.

“Look at what you’ve done to h-”

“-He hit me first!”

Having reached her own limit, Eve raised her head and screamed back at me, tears flying from her face. The volume in her voice took much of the wind out of my sails, but my face never changed. I’m sure that she was expecting some form of reaction- maybe some retribution that she was accustomed to- but instead I stood firm and waited for her to act again.

And her collapse came quickly. Despite her outburst towards me seconds earlier, she rushed into me and leaned against my torso. What happened next is about what you’d expect: a harsh, barking cry filled the air as the girl’s repressed emotions let loose.

“One day, we’ll go a day without tears…”

I was forced to hold her up once her knees gave out, ironically putting her in the exact same position that she’d been in when I lost my temper. And I had allowed my anger to get the better of me. With as little as thirty-seconds’ worth of hindsight, I could tell that I’d allowed the night’s events to cloud my judgement when dealing with the poor soul. I’d done too much. In terms of escalation, I’d fulfilled both ends of the spectrum tonight.

Either way, Eve continued to sniffle, struggling to keep a consistent rhythm to her breathing as her cries continued, albeit with less intensity as time went on. I stroked the back of her head as I looked down at her, only for Eva to wordlessly fill my vision.

In her own unorthodox way, Eva fell into her sister, sniffing and stroking at the girl’s jet-black hair, breathing deeply to take the scent into her nostrils. Reduced to a passenger in this interaction, I questioned the effectiveness of such a way of comforting someone, wondering if it would actually do anything other than damage Eve’s spine.

There must have been some form of routine to this interaction, however, as Eve slowly raised herself from my torso and shook Eva from her back. No sooner had she done so did she repay the favour by throwing herself at her sister, who wearily braced for impact.

Eva failed to fully support this change in position and instead fell onto her back with her sister laying on top of her. Now at the mercy of the one above her, she settled herself in for an overblown attempt at an apology as Eve showered her hostage with apologies and small kisses all over her face.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Her apology was just as erratic and scattershot as her fighting, although I was happy to see a positive outcome from this exchange. Eva continued to stay silent, preferring to keep her eyes closed as her sister increased the speed at which she peppered the prone girl’s face.

Eva’s lack of protests suggested that she was fine with tolerating the attention that she was receiving, so I had little concerns about it- although I still had concerns for the boy. I glanced over to where the boy should’ve laid, but he seemed to have completely disappeared. Had I not been in a dream, I would’ve had some concern, but I hoped that the boy’s disappearance was Eve’s mind releasing him- if only for the night.

“Out of sight; out of mind…”

As I anticlimactically discarded my concerns, Eve lay on her sister with little regard to the discomfort that she may have been causing. Indeed, Eva looked as if she wanted to say something but was unable to find the correct way to say it. She caught my eye, and put on her pleading face, eyes begging me to interfere.

“That’s enough, you,” I remarked to Eve as I gently lifted the girl from her thankful little sister. “Give her a bit of breathing room.” I plopped Eve back onto her feet, but I learned that the little one had unfinished business with me as I felt her smack into me again. She smiled and rubbed her face into my shirt, seemingly having her heart set on burrowing through the material.

“You really are just like your sister, you know,” I softly remarked as I stroked the girl’s hair. As if she had been summoned, Eva soon appeared and resumed the position that she’d taken up before in a comforting case of déjà vu. This third and final embrace seemed to bring the little ones some comfort, but only one thought was racing through my mind.

“I’m never doing this again.”

I wasn’t sure how long had passed before I felt Eve push away from me- but I definitely felt it. With a great heave, the raven-haired girl ignored the comfort of either side of her human sandwich by removing herself from the embrace. “I’m sorry, Mr. Bayard,” Eve murmured solemnly, doing her best attempt at mimicking her sister’s sorrowful eyes. “I won’t do it again.”

Eve’s latter comment was largely meaningless, and, if anything, the act that she was referring to made me imagine another broken child on the tarmac. It was the only thing that I could imagine; I lacked the energy to think of anything new anymore.

“I suppose I can’t be too harsh if this only takes place inside your dreams,” I answered the little one. My response was poor and dismissive, but, even though I was supposed to be asleep, I could barely remember being so tired. I went on autopilot as I tried my best to re-establish my position as a teacher by uttering some generic phrases. “We’ll definitely need to talk about this, though, when I get back.”

“I said I was sorry!” Eve beseeched, looking more agitated. I wasn’t in the mood for another episode, so I squatted down to meet the frantic child at eye-level.

“You’re not in trouble,” I explained, offering my right hand for Eve to lean her cheek into. This seemed to do the trick as she accepted the offer with closed eyes and a contented smile. “Although maybe you should be. I want to talk about what you said,” I continued as I looked at where the boy’s body used to lay.

“What?” Eve asked, confused. She opened her eyes and followed my gaze, failing to understand the context.

“About the boy who hit you.”

Eve flinched and lowered her head. Her discomfort was clear, but I carried on:

“I’d like to know who he is.”

She continued to look down, refusing to answer; it was obvious that she had concerns with sharing this information.

“Not right now, though- not when you’re dreaming.”

I didn’t see any need to pursue the topic- certainly not in a place like this. However, rather than calm Eve down, this comment only seemed to give her more energy. “I’m dreaming?” she asked. She looked around the area that she found herself in, confused with this new revelation. I was similarly confused: how could someone be so dense?

“Can’t you tell?”

“No- that’s why I asked.”

“Cheeky.”

In response to Eve’s apparent cheek, I delivered a strong poke to the centre of the girl’s chest, knocking her back slightly. The raven-haired girl returned for more- only to meet the same fate. Not wishing to be left out, Eva decided to join in, creating two separate angles of attack that I needed to hold off.

“Stop that!”

Understanding that she had no chance of winning, Eve playfully slapped my wandering hand away from her. I was happy to see that she’d regained some of her energy, but I couldn’t help but feel saddened at the slight discolouring on her face: the place where several tears had flowed and left their mark. “So…you’re saying that we’re in a dream?” the little one asked after wiping her face.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” I answered, unsure of why Eve was asking me again. The little one soon answered this thought as she placed a finger on both sides of her head and scrunched her face in concentration, closing her eyes and grunting with exertion. “…Do you need the toilet?” I asked, with Eva giggling behind me.

“I’m trying to dream up a pony,” Eve explained as she relaxed her body. Angry at both the condescending comment and the lack of ponies, she removed her hands from her head and folded her arms in frustration.

“We have ponies at home.”

“Not those ponies!” Eve argued, pointing in a random direction. “Like, a real pony.”

“I think they’re very real.”

I’m sure Luna would’ve launched a full-scale invasion of this dream if she heard such blasphemous comments. I wondered if the princess would be against devouring children…

“No, but, like…like…like…”

Eve threw her arms around as she struggled to think of the correct words to say. “…I don’t get it,” Eva suddenly commented, unhelpfully contributing to the conversation. She threw me a confused look, and I threw it straight back.

“I don’t either, sweetheart. Your sister’s just being weird.”

Eve paid no notice to my constructive criticism as she ran to get her sister involved. Dragging her by the arm, she brought Eva into an open space that she deemed suitable for pony-spawning.

“Eva, you try!”

“But…I don’t know how!”

“You just…try it!”

“That’s very helpful,” I interjected. I ignored Eve sticking her tongue out in response and continued. “Look, it’s not gonna work. We don’t live in a cartoon.” Summoning ponies wasn’t a part of the nightly agenda, but Eve had moved onto bigger things, alluding to the endless intrigue of a child’s mind.

“So, if I’m dreaming…”

“I thought we got past this…”

“…Are you two real?”

I slammed both of my hands into my face; I should’ve been asleep. It was in this moment of anguish, however, that Eva decided to take up the mantle.

“Mm hmm- we are. Mr. Bayard rescued me in my dream!”

“Ooh, what happened in your dream, Eva?” Eve excitedly inquired, turning to her sister in expectation. “What was it like?”

“…”

I never said that Eva was good at holding a conversation. Unwilling to answer further questions, she shrunk away and hid behind me. Therefore, the burden was mine to bear again, and I thought about the best way to phrase my answer.

“It was…disturbing. In more ways than one.”

“Why?”

“…I’ll tell you when I get back.”

“That’s not fair! I didn’t get to see Eva’s dream…”

As much as I usually enjoyed the girls’ company, I was reaching the end of my rope with how many times I was being forced to explain things that didn’t make sense. “Uh, I think it’s time to wake up soon,” I remarked, more out of hope than expectation. I could only hope that I was correct and that I would soon be ejected from this sorry place.

“But I’m not awake yet!”

“I’m sure Eva can tell you all about it when you wake up. Sorry, Eva.”

It may be hard to believe, but I felt a certain sense of cowardness when pawning my troubles onto a four-year-old girl, but Eva rewarded my gutlessness with a thumbs-up and a smile, as if she also realised that Eve would be relentless with her questions regardless of who was there to answer them.

That thumbs-up seemingly signalled the end of this mental episode as my eyes were invaded by a piercing, white light. I assumed the girls had felt the same as I heard two little groans of discomfort from the overwhelming sensation. Despite the pain, delight was the only emotion that I could feel. Thank God that was over.

The light eventually dimmed to reveal the familiar spot. For the third time that night, I picked myself up off the ground to find Luna waiting for me in the dreamscape. “I trust that you have enjoyed yourselves tonight,” the princess declared, her neutral expression giving little away.

“I have many four-letter words to say to you,” I grumbled in reply.

“Oh, do lighten up,” Luna remarked with a wave of a forehoof. “I was merely giving you a neutral space to say goodbye to your foals before I send you away.”

“Send him away?” Eva asked, poking her head out from my left.

“Where’s he going?” Eve asked, poking her head out from my right, completing the cover of my flanks.

“Back to his own dream, of course! He needs to rest- just like the two of you.”

Luna’s argument made sense- and the girls likely believed it too, but separation- justified or not- was still met with a sullen attitude. The sisters must have known that the night would need to come to an end, yet they were still unwilling to accept that fact when the time came.

“Don’t get in another state, you two,” I interjected, secretly pleased that our time together was nearly up. “If everything goes well, I’ll be back by the end of tomorrow.” I of course made no mention of the fact that I was locked in a garden shed, but… details, details.

“Do you promise?” Eva asked, looking up at me with sorrowful eyes that had much less effect than they had at the beginning of the night. At a time like this, they had lost most of their persuasive power and did little more than cause me to sigh.

“Yes, I promise.”

A promise often seemed to be satisfactory for the two girls, always seeming to earn a smile. So, with Eva’s immediate concerns dealt with, I turned my attention to the other sister.

“So…I’ll see you tomorrow, you.”

I squatted down as I spoke, expecting to receive a hug from the girl as I said goodbye. Sadly, my expectations were shattered as Eve decided to take the initiative and place a kiss on the tip of my nose. It was a horrendous sensation- one that caused my heart to thud in fear for my livelihood.

Distraught, I fell backwards and placed a hand over the affected area as if I’d just been shot, terrified of the implications of this action. Fantasy world or not- dream or not- a kiss of any description would get me kicked out of my university at best. I couldn’t allow anyone to know about this.

“I kissed Mr. Bayard! Eva, I kissed Mr. Bayard!”

Eve showed no such concern as she grabbed her sister for the umpteenth time and pulled her towards my still-crouched and still-shocked form. “You kiss him too”.

Absolutely not. This was quickly getting out of hand, and I knew that I needed to stop this before it got any worse. I stood back up and looked down at the two children with a nervous expression. “No, no, no. No one needs to kiss me,” I maintained, shaking my hands in front of my face as I backpedalled. Even phrasing it in that way felt somewhat predatory, so I took a moment to point at the perpetrator. “And you shouldn’t’ve.”

Still ignorant to the possible consequences of her actions, Eve placed her hands behind her back and swayed back and forth with a giggle. Nothing was going to change her mind at that particular moment, and I understood that, so I turned to Eva instead to say my goodbyes.

“Take care of your sister, Eva,” I said with a hug, thankful that Eva showed no interest in repeating her sister’s actions.

“I thought I was meant to take care of her!” Eve cried.

“Yeah, but you’re a mess.”

I spoke with expectation that Eve would lash out with an unnecessary comment, but it appeared that she was also beginning to feel the effects of the night as she rubbed her eyes in a laboured manner, again making me question whether any of us would receive a good night’s sleep after this.

“Come here, you,” I softly called out as I reached over to drag Eve into the embrace. For what felt like the first time that night, there was a clear sense of tranquillity in the air; there were no more fights; no more repressed emotions; no more tears. In this restless slumber, the three of us were able to huddle together and enjoy the fruits of our collective labour.

Luna must’ve almost felt regretful as she understood that this happy ending was the perfect time to separate us, sending the girls back to their respective dreams. With a melancholy sigh, she charged up a spell and waited for her cue. Silently, the girls faded away from my side until the only companion that occupied the space around me was the mare who had initially brought me here.

“You really do have a connection with those foals, you know.”

I looked up from my position on the floor as I came to terms with my new-found peace. I needed it, but the lack of arms wrapped around me was a reminder of how large and empty the space around me was. Luna had begun to walk away from me and, upon noticing this, I stood up and followed her through the nothingness. “Well, I try,” I remarked, unsure of how to respond to such a comment. “I mean, no one else is going to do it, are they?”

“We both know that there is nopony more capable,” Luna responded, looking at me with a genuine smile. The warmth that radiated from it was difficult for me to ignore, and I found myself unable to reply.

“For the few days that those two girls have been in Equestria, I have visited their dreams,” Luna continued, re-summoning the doors to the sisters’ minds. In my unprofessional opinion, they looked very similar to when I’d first seen them, though the flower on Eve’s door appeared to be in slightly better wear. An allegory, I’m sure.

“I’m gonna have to come back and deal with that, aren’t I?” I asked, pointing at the dishevelled flower. Much of its petals were still removed, though some appeared to have begun to reattach themselves. They may have even grown anew.

“Perhaps,” Luna began as she cast a spell to remove the doors once more. “Although maybe your actions in the daytime will be enough to keep their night terrors at bay- then I will do the rest.”

“I guess you’ve got quite a thankless task ahead of you.”

“I always have done- and likely will continue to do so long after the three of you have passed.”

Luna’s candid approach to death caused me to wonder how acquainted she was with the idea. It also gave me other things to think about.

“Do you think that we’ll die in this place? That we won’t make it back after all?”

I needed something from the princess at that moment. I needed some form of closure; if she thought I had no chance making it home, then I needed to know now. I looked towards Luna, hoping to see some form of warmth or an emotional reaction. Instead, I saw a calm, composed mare who looked upon me with an all-knowing expression.

“I am sure that you will receive the ending that you desire. With that said, this land does have a way of keeping hold of those who wander into it.”

“What do you mean?” I continued to question. I knew full-well what she meant- I just hated the way she said it.

“I mean that you may wish to stay after all- and we would of course facilitate that,” was her answer. It was blunt and lacking in compassion, sounding fairly forced and routine for the princess. As such, I lacked a response of my own. “They almost always dream about you,” she continued, calmly breaking the silence that had descended upon us.

“As a teacher?”

“As a teacher, as a carer… you were even a firepony once! That was a fun one!” she laughed. I relaxed slightly as the mare injected more emotion into our conversation. “Indeed, even when their eyes are closed, you rarely leave their sight.”

Luna closed the distance between us before she spoke again. “You matter too much to them for you to lose sight of your objective. You must do this for them,” she demanded of me. The extent of the princess’ emotional investment was difficult to keep track of, as Luna’s change in tone expressed a level of concern that made me uncomfortable.

“I get that. Christ, if I was awake, I’d be doing it right now.”

Luna chose to stay silent in response to this answer, and so, as our conversation began to dwindle again, she seemed happy to send me back to wherever I came from.

“Any final questions before I send you back?”

“Just one,” I answered, looking off into the unending void. “Is this fulfilling to you?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“All this. Only seeing your subjects as they rest- never actually in the flesh- like I said, it just seems a bit thankless.”

“…”

Met with silence, I shifted myself around to face the princess, who appeared to be deep in thought.

“It is… not what I always wanted, no. But I have come to appreciate the intimacy of the night. The night gives the mind a period of time in which it may unravel, once the body has relinquished its control. I suppose dreaming is the way in which my subjects show appreciation for the night, just as their frolicking in the sun vindicates my sister and her management of the day.”

As Luna spoke, I felt no need to contribute. I sat back and simply listened to someone who clearly had much to say. Only once I was absolutely sure that the princess’ monologue had come to a close, I said the only phrase that came to mind.

“You have a nice night, Luna, yeah?”

Luna continued to pay little attention to me. “I expect to see you in one piece, tomorrow evening,” she announced in response, charging a spell in her horn. “We shall celebrate your arrival. Perhaps.”

“I look forward to it. I bet you’re an animal when it comes to champagne.”

Luna had no reply to that. Instead, she released the spell that bound me to this place, sending me back to my physical body. I closed my eyes as I yielded to the pale light, feeling my body and mind reconnect. I could never forget the reforging…

Faint wisps slowly emanated from the space in which David had stood before his submission to the space around him. In that space, alone once again, Luna considered the events of her conversation with this new creature before returning to her nightly duties. The words he said, the tone he chose- everything he stood for; it all painted a clear picture.

“I really wish that you would not be so condescending.”

Chapter 10: Mitochondria

“I bet he’s pissed. He’s been waiting about a minute for everyone to cross.”

“Well, he’ll have to wait a little longer. You see, Mr. Bayard- that’s part of being a teacher; sometimes, you need to stand in front of a car and hope it stops.”

“I hope that works for you.”

“It hasn’t let me down so far.”

I couldn’t remember what had happened after I’d left Luna’s side; in fact, I was unsure if the whole thing had even happened. Maybe it wasn’t for me to understand. Regardless, all my withered subconscious wished to do was sleep and recover for as long as possible.

“Nearly got it, you little…!”

Unfortunately for my psyche, several loud thuds and an exasperated cry signalled the end of my slumber. Wearily, my eyes slowly opened to reveal the noise’s source. Fairfeather was pressed up against the shack’s door, closely inspecting it. The griffon was fixated on the door’s lock, having inserted a piece of metal into the mechanism.

“What time do you call this…?” I groggily asked the griffon, rubbing my eyes and trying to wake up my right arm, which I must’ve rested my weight on throughout the night. I regretted attempting to stand as my back and neck seemed to have suffered greatly from a night on the stone floor. With a click, my back was soon set into place, as I started the process of rotating my neck in a vain attempt to bring some flexibility back into it. “Shit…”.

Fully focused on the task in front of him, Fairfeather gave no indication of even hearing me. With one eye firmly closed, the griffon continued to manipulate the metal in his claws with a level of competency that could only have come from years of experience.

“Yes…! Yes!”

A loud click was followed by a louder cheer as Fairfeather accomplished his task. The griffon wheeled away from the door with a joyous smile on his face. That joy was short-lived, however, as he was met by the glaring faces of his three fellow prisoners.

“I’ll ask you again: what time do you call this?” I questioned angrily, being the first of us to do so. I was certainly not the only one whose sleep had been interrupted by the griffon’s antics, as Blueblood sought to demonstrate.

“I swear you must do the most aggravating thing at every opportunity,” the prince added as he pulled a cigar from his pocket and proceeded to light it with his horn…somehow.

“Do you have to smoke in here?” I asked. It was far too early in the day for this.

“Whyever not?” the prince rebuked, allowing a large puff of smoke to escape from his lips. I made an exaggerated show of waving my hand in front of my face, dispersing the imaginary smoke around me.

“Because I don’t fancy choking on the smoke. I will take that from you.”

“I hope that you have enough common decency not to.”

“Well, ‘common decency’ is the only thing that’s stopping me from breaking this door down with your arse.”

“No need, my friend,” Fairfeather interjected, holding up a single claw. “It is already done.” He pushed lightly on the door, allowing it to open slightly. A small slit of early-morning sunlight forced its way through the empty space to accentuate the delighted griffon’s point.

“I guess it is,” I commented as I reached out to open the door further.

“Woah!” Fairfeather exclaimed, gesturing towards my face. “What happened to your eye?”

“Hmm?”

“You have a rather unsightly gash below your right eye,” Blueblood added, having also gathered around the door. He pulled a small mirror out of one of his pockets and levitated it over for me to grab.

I inspected my face in the mirror, noticing that there was indeed a moderate cut underneath my right eye. I traced two fingers over the mark, feeling the heat that radiated from it. It felt fresh, clearly very recent- and likely caused by little fingernails.

“A nightmare on Dave’s cheek…” I mumbled to myself, unable to take my fingers away from the cut. This was concerning: clearly, the damage done by Eve had followed me as I awoke, confirming that the previous night’s events had happened. It also made me question my physical body’s participation in my dreams. It certainly muddied the waters, at least.

“Did you cut yourself in your sleep?” Fairfeather suggested with far more concern than I deemed necessary. I wasn’t paying particular attention to the griffon, so I disregarded the question entirely.

“So, it’s open?” I enquired, placing my hand on the noticeably-open door.

“Yup!” Fairfeather responded resoundingly. He hoped to have finally earned some praise from the group, although, again, he was to be mistaken.

“Why the hell did you do that?” I asked angrily, slamming the door shut and glaring at the griffon.

“We would have been free to leave in only a few more hours,” Blueblood elaborated. “Could you not have kept your thieving instincts at bay for a little while longer?”

I began to wonder if Blueblood genuinely believed what he said or whether he was fishing for a reaction. If it was the latter, he was sure to be disappointed. In fact, the only member of the group who seemed to care was the only one of us who had yet to speak.

“Maybe you guys woulda been let out soon enough,” Autumn remarked, pushing past our huddle around the door. “But I’m not taking any chances!” She swung the door open with gusto, taking a comically deep gulp of air as she took in the outside world.

I was about to ask her how long she had been kept in this place, only to be left at a loss for words once the griffon lowered herself down and began to roll around in the dirt. The sound of juvenile laughter reminded me of who I was here for, and I was ready to get the hell out of here.

“How are you so good at picking locks, then?” I asked Fairfeather accusingly, crossing my arms and trying to sound serious amidst the laughter in the background.

“Yeah, well, I- I, uh, I used to be a locksmith- that’s all!”

The griffon stood stiffly and stared straight ahead of him, not even making an attempt to look me in the eye. This was, without a doubt, the most unconvincing display that I’d ever seen. Eva lied better than this.

“I’m sure you got up to a lot of fun in the big city. Don’t worry about it.”

I picked the silly bugger up and held him like he was a small child. “I guess you’re the powerhouse of the cell,” I commented, lightly swinging the griffon in my arms. It was nice to see him act so unsure of what to do; maybe he couldn’t remember the last time he was cradled.

“Woah, woah, woah! What are you doing out here?”

A sudden exclamation signalled that Double Diamond had arrived, seemingly to check on his prisoners. His immediate appearance made Fairfeather’s decision to unlock the door even more unnecessary. What’s more, the stallion’s calm demeanour, even after witnessing his prisoners escape, made the situation feel strangely subdued. At the time, I didn’t see it that way, as, like the flick of a switch, my attitude instantly soured as I dropped the griffon to the floor.

“I thought we had an agreement that you-” Double Diamond began before he was wrenched into the air. With my hands now free, I decided that it was now our snow-white stallion’s turn to be raised from the floor. With greater ease than I was expecting, I grabbed the stallion and slammed him against one of the shack’s walls, knocking the wind out of his sails.

“Listen, mate,” I started, my voice lacking in any emotion. “You lost your ‘agreement’ when you locked me in a shed overnight. Celestia’s orders be damned- I just want to get back to the only normality I have left. So, where the fuck is Starlight Glimmer?”

I’m sure that Double Diamond could’ve easily broken free had he attempted to do so, but his worry about being at the relative mercy of a creature that he had never encountered before kept him swinging in my grip.

“And before you say, ‘oh I don’t know’, I should say that I’m always three seconds away from putting an arrow through your thick skull-”

My miniature threat was interrupted by a slap from an unimpressed Fairfeather.

“Put him down- how does that help!?”

Being slapped by one of my friends definitely undermined my aggression, so I placed the stallion back onto the floor and awkwardly waited for someone else to speak.

“Well, you certainly argue a good case, friend,” Double Diamond happily commented, shrugging off what had just transpired. “So, I’ll tell you what- if you get something for our town, we’ll tell you where you need to go.”

“I didn’t come here to do a fetch quest-”

“-And I sure can sense your anger, Mr. Angry. But Our Town ain’t gonna tell you a thing until you help us out first.”

“Let’s just do what he wants. What’s wrong with going to find some little thing?” Fairfeather offered.

“It would be much easier to get this stallion’s worthless possession,” Blueblood added to the conversation, as he frequently did. As much as I would’ve wanted to do anything other than helping these arseholes out, I was outvoted two-to-one.

I responded by sulkily shaking my head in resignation. Knowing what that meant, Fairfeather put on a brave smile as he turned back to Double Diamond.

“Whatcha need, pal?”

“Our Town requires an Everclear Hazel seed so that we can plant something nice before the Sunset Festival. We all think that Starlight would love to see what we’ve done with the place when she comes back!”

I felt the need to interject at this comment.

“But-”

“-You’ll find it just to the east in the Crystal Mountains- not too far. Just watch out for the Ophiotaurus.”

“The what?”

“Stop asking questions, dude. I’ll tell you on the way. Get me my bow.”

“…Yeah, well, you guys are lucky ‘cause you’ve got fur or feathers or whatever- I’m freezing my tits off.”

The Crystal Mountains really weren’t that far away from Our Town, but the drop in temperature more than made up for the short distance. Although the temperature was still too high to trigger a snowfall, it was more than cold enough for me to regret wearing little more than an oversized shirt and lightweight trousers.

And I made sure to remind the others about it. Taking a break from trudging along a narrow, winding dirt road that led up towards a miniature peak, Blueblood, ironically having had enough of my whining, turned towards my frozen form.

“If you must complain at every opportunity, I might be able to help you,” the stallion remarked, lighting up his horn. In an instant, I felt a vaguely familiar warmth creep across my skin, beginning at my arms and legs before converging onto my torso. It was like the warmest of blankets on snow-drenched skin, and the sudden shift in temperature- again- left me feeling a little lightheaded.

“What was that?”

“A spell that should keep you above freezing. I could not stand your whinging any longer.”

Blueblood raised his head and continued to move forward, leaving me and my warm form in his wake. The waves of light-headedness may have made my head a bit foggy, but I was still amazed found with the prince’s intervention. I could never have imagined him doing something altruistic, even if it was for his apparent benefit. Fairfeather looked to be similarly conflicted; maybe we could break this prince after all.

“Thank you,” I quietly muttered, guiding my right hand over the opposing wrist and rubbing it awkwardly. I didn’t really know what to say, although, thankfully, Blueblood didn’t have such an issue.

“Do not mention it. Now, let us get this over with.”

Blueblood never felt the need to look back towards his fellow travellers. He remained focused on the path ahead of him as it snaked further up and out of sight.

“Uh, guys,” called the voice of Autumn, reminding me of her presence. “Thanks for letting me out and everything, but I’m gonna go.” To tell the truth, I’d forgotten that she was still there, as she had been lagging behind ever since we’d left Our Town. Her lack of interest in my group’s journey was clearly apparent, suggesting that she was preoccupied with other matters.

“You sure? You can stay with us if you want,” I offered hopefully. Autumn, however, was not to be persuaded.

“This ain’t my fight- you guys can handle the…whatever-it-is.”

“Where’re you gonna go?”

“Far from here.”

Her voice was barley louder than a whisper as she stretched her wings and took off, heading deeper into the mountains. Even though I expected her to disappear at some point, I was still a little sad to see her go after she started to open up. Maybe she could’ve become a real character.

“Is nopony gonna tell her we were going that way anyways?” Fairfeather wondered aloud as he pointed to where Autumn had disappeared to. I just walked forward in a bid to catch up with Blueblood. I wasn’t forcing anything.

“Probably best if we just leave her alone.”

Soon enough, we found themselves on a wide, flat plain- unsuitably lush and green for somewhere at this altitude. Even though we had no higher to climb, distant mountains stretched far beyond our collective vision, almost as if they were impaling the sky. I stood and stared at the purple formations, slightly hypnotised by the colours.

Somehow, grass and small clusters of purple flowers had managed to grow from the rock we stood on. The entire area appeared to have been purposely created by some greater force; indeed, the place looked as if a mountain had been cut in half, leaving behind an unusually wide surface that stretched out a considerable distance.

“Pastern Peak,” Fairfeather explained, pre-emptively answering any of my questions. “Known for being pretty low down. No idea why.” With this comment, he spread his wings and headed off to the far-side of the peak, just as I finished dragging Blueblood up the slope. The griffon landed near a dark patch of flowers, seemingly looking for something.

-

David seemed to be paying attention to what the griffon was saying- and Blueblood certainly was not a good alternative. With nothing else to do, Fairfeather spread his wings and began to fly to a dark patch on the other side of the peak.

The griffon was confused; from what he could recall, Everclear seeds were not native to this area of Equestria, instead preferring lower altitudes. He struggled to think of any reason for the seeds to be so far north unless they were intentionally grown here- although there was no reason for anypony to do so. He should have known better than to allow himself to be so engrossed by his own thoughts as he was brought back to the present by the sudden roar of a large creature- one far too close to be ignored.

As if on cue, the creature loomed above Fairfeather, far surpassing him in height. In fact, its horns alone seemed to be larger than the griffon, appearing capable of ripping through even the largest of stallions. The ophiotaurus that Double Diamond had mentioned had caught onto the group’s journey to the peak. A heavy beast of burden, it hissed down at Fairfeather, glaring at him with large serpent-like eyes that showed a vague anticipation of its newest victim.

The creature’s resemblance of a serpent did not end with its eyes, as the whole of its body matched that of a snake: sleek and curling behind the creature as it somehow held itself upright. A streak of orange ran along its underbelly, contrasting with the red markings that dotted across its skin. The patches appeared to be a pattern- although, judging by the creatures’ fangs, anyone could have been convinced that the crimson markings were the result of this animal’s last encounter with aspiring adventurers.

-

Well, Fairfeather was probably dead. But I wasn’t. Yet. I mean, this was the moment I’d been waiting for, so I did my best to convince myself that I was having a wonderful time as I readied my bow. I lost a lot of my confidence as it took several attempts to summon it, and even then, it felt as if it was moments away from slipping through my fingers.

A miniscule bolt of magic travelled between Fairfeather and his attempted attacker, briefly stunning it and giving the griffon an opportunity to break away. Reuniting with the prince and I, the griffon was able to unsheathe his weapon and join us in preparing for a fight.

“So that’s…” I began, readying an arrow.

“That’s the whatchamacallit,” Fairfeather answered, mirroring my actions.

“So…should we kill it?”

“…I think we should.”

“…How does something like that sneak up on us?”

“Beats me. You ready to shoot some stuff?”

“I preferred when the target was stationary…”

“Can you two make a decision?!” Blueblood screamed at us in a panic, willing us into action. The prince’s flighty outburst was enough to recapture my attention as I readied an arrow and locked my eyes on the target.

“Wait…a second,” Fairfeather whispered, never taking his eyes off the creature. “It’s too far away to reliably hit.”

“But I really want to shoot it.”

“Shut up.”

Practicing as he preached, Fairfeather began to separate himself from the group by moving over towards the rightmost edge of the peak, creating a new angle of assault on the creature. I attempted to do the same in the opposite direction, occupying the left flank and doing my best to stay adjacent to the griffon.

“C’mon, Waffles…”

I kept my eyes on Fairfeather and waited for him to strike. I would’ve loved to have taken the first shot, but now wasn’t the time for egos. Whatever the griffon did, I would follow- I just needed a signal.

And I didn’t have to wait long as I watched an arrow pierce through the thin, mountain air and lodge itself firmly into the ophiotaurus’ side. I’d anticipated a roar of pain- or at least any indication that the creature had even noticed the attack- but the creature instead raised itself upright and lunged towards the griffon.

Not that Fairfeather seemed to mind, though, as he was prepared for the creature’s retaliation. He dove off the side of the mountain and hovered barely out of reach of his pursuer. Ignoring any opportunities for a one-liner, he silently hovered a few feet above the creature, mocking the futility of its actions. This was sure to have frustrated his attacker- but not quite as much as a second arrow embedding itself into its back, courtesy of my poor thinking.

“I hit him! I actually hit the bastard!”

Any celebrations were brought to an abrupt halt as my vison became filled with the Ophiotaurus’ charging form. I’d never felt terror like it as I frantically called on another arrow to fill my hand, only to have difficulty to do so when faced with imminent danger. I haphazardly fired an arrow in the attacker’s direction before sprinting back to hide behind Blueblood, who cast a bolt of magic in attempt to distract the creature.

A volley of three arrows from Fairfeather momentarily caused the bugger to stagger, the effect of multiple hits at once appearing to finally cause some damage. With a heavy thud, the beast momentarily collapsed, giving me a moment to get myself together. Breathing heavily from the adrenaline, my gaze fell to the floor as I tried to control my elevated heartrate and place another arrow into the target.

I should’ve known better than to give myself too long to focus, as, from the moment my eyes strayed from my attacker, I left myself exposed. I’d readied another shot, but I was completely thrown off by how close the creature had gotten, so I let my arrow go in a blind panic. I watched as the projectile whistled past the approaching threat- instead penetrating a different layer of flesh with a sound that rang loudly in my ears.

Knowing exactly where my shot had landed, I bore witness to the sight of an arrow puncturing the flesh underneath Fairfeather’s right wing. The griffon felt around the area before beginning to fall. He threw his bow onto the peak before losing control of his flight, hurtling down onto the sharp rock formation below. Sucking in a deep breath of air, he kept himself from crying out in agony as he struggled to pick himself up.

As if this was some sort of dark comedy, the ophiotaurus completely ignored me as it took in the sound of the griffon’s fall. It immediately turned around to seek vengeance on the one who had struck it so many times, the arrows leaving thin streams of crimson that flowed from the puncture wounds on its back.

It took a moment for me to process what I’d done, and the damage that I’d inflicted only be apparent to me as I watched the ophiotaurus’ charge on my fallen friend. Seeing the griffon in such a vulnerable position caused me to lose the last of my composure.

I sprinted towards Fairfeather, desperately shooting haphazard arrows to distract the approaching creature. Much like the arrows that I had previously fired, they had no effect on the creature’s movement as it approached Fairfeather’s struggling form.

My lungs burned from the exertion as I tripped and slid on my knees a short distance from the ensuing altercation, watching the create raise its head with the intention to plunge its horns into the griffon. In a desperate attempt to right my wrongs, I pathetically threw my bow at the creature, only for it to reappear in my hands, making the situation seem like some sort of sick joke. I tried to get up, but I felt myself being pulled backwards by a much greater force.

I shrieked out in exertion, pushing against the force that encased me. I was desperate to avoid sentient blood on my hands, but I had no luck. However, I was halted as I felt an incredible surge of energy rush past my head. Looking on, I witnessed some incredible ball of magic collide with one of the ophiotaurus’ horns, shattering it with a crack that echoed throughout the peak.

With a guttural roar, the creature fell onto its side, set off-balance by the sudden loss of one of its most crucial body parts. A dark vapour poured from the opening, covering the area in a thick, blackened haze.

I looked back to see the source of this attack; a winded Blueblood fell hopelessly onto his stomach, his horn fizzing slightly with the erratic after-effects of his actions. Even through the darkness that engulfed us, I could see the effect that the spell had had on the prince as he struggled to raise his head in any indication that he was little more than barely conscious.

It was unfortunate that I hadn’t yet learned my lesson of not taking my eyes off the battlefield. Immediately, what was left of the ophiotaurus surged through the smoke that it had created, directing its anger onto the one who had dealt it the most harm. I cursed my inability to act, feeling hopeless and looking on in despair, struggling to think as the creature continued to close the distance. I had to do something. Making a split-second decision, I also made a dive for the prince, pushing him from harm’s way and inadvertently leaving myself at my attacker’s mercy.

The ophiotaurus was unsettled by its target’s difference in height and attempted to adjust mid-flight. Opening its mouth wider, it managed to scrape its fangs along my left arm, opening up a cavernous gash that began to ooze darkened blood. It was unable to secure a bite and instead carried on straight past me, happy to come around again for another assault.

I lacked Fairfeather’s composure, so I cried out in agony as I watched my skin separate. I stared at my arm in shock and placed my right hand over a part of the wound in a useless attempt to stop the bleeding. The burning is what I remember most- a horrendous sensation that left my mind even more useless than my arm. I could barely see the muscles in my arm twitch as I tore my hand from the wound and forced myself to ready my bow. Although I could feel the weapon in my left hand, I found no strength when attempting to raise it at the creature.

I looked towards my approaching death, knowing that I could’ve done more. The creature’s eyes stuck out to me, narrowed in anticipation of a quick kill, as I fought to keep my own open.

But, just as I’d come to terms with fate, I felt a light pull on my left arm, raising it and the bow that still lay in my left hand. Accustomed to the tugging by now, I allowed the force to keep the weapon steady as I raised a final arrow. With one final push, I felt the air leave my lungs as I shot an arrow right and true into the ophiotaurus’ right eye.

The last thing I was able to process before everything stopped was the roar that engulfed the mountaintop. That roar… it felt like the scream that I could no longer project.

David’s many efforts throughout the fight may have brought his companions a great deal of suffering, but his final act was the one that brought everything to a close. With that final roar, the ophiotaurus fell forward and past the motionless human, collapsing onto its stomach once more. The creature struggled to contain the sensation that pulsed throughout its head, unable to find the strength to rise once more- even as a smug griffon stood over its body.

“…Ain’t it a bitch?”

With the one-liner that David had been longing to hear, Fairfeather gave a smug smile as the ophiotaurus’ other eye was pierced by the final arrow of the fight. The creature gave no reaction to this, having succumbed to its injuries, trembling slightly as it failed to cling onto its life. The griffon smirked at this before grabbing a pouch that hung tightly around the creature’s neck.

“These seeds had better be worth it.”

He felt along the side of his body for where the arrow had embedded itself into his flesh, happy to feel that it was still there. And, with his own body taken care of, his smugness faded away as he turned his attention to the other members of his party.

Fairfeather could see that the prince was still conscious, which was a good sign, so he wordlessly moved to aid the fallen human. Crouching down by his friend’s side, the griffon pulled a role of gauze from his saddlebag and tried his best to dress the human’s wound. He found no luck in covering the gash sufficiently, but he had hopes that the wound could be managed with regular maintenance. “It looks worse than it is…”

Stepping back from his friend, he watched Blueblood stand upright, dusting his tattered tuxedo. “Well…” the prince muttered, barely able to speak between breaths. “The beast is no more…”

“Yeah… he’s dead…” the griffon affirmed, also struggling to speak. “Put one in both his eyes…”

“And the human?”

“I did what I could with his forelimb. We just gotta check on him from time-to-time.”

“He will live?”

“Sure, he will!”

“Good- I think I owe him a drink.”

With this promise, the silence that surrounded Pastern Peak signalled that the group no longer had any business in the area. “We’d better set up camp for the night- no way he’s walking this off,” Fairfeather noted. “Not without a long rest, at least.”

A huff and a heave later, Blueblood was able to lift the human’s body onto his back. The prince had great difficulty keeping his new backpack balanced, but he began to find a way to trot down the mountain without incident. As the adrenaline from the attack began to die down, Fairfeather broke the silence.

“…Thanks, by the way. For saving me.”

“Since when did I save you, griffon?”

“You can’t fool me. I know what magic looks like- even when I’m dead.”

Blueblood stopped abruptly, almost causing David’s body to fall from his back. He looked down at the dirt beneath him, refusing to meet Fairfeather’s smug stare. Even as he continued to look away, he could tell that the griffon had a large grin on his face, having caught the prince unaware. Blueblood disliked the idea of continuing the conversation after being found out. Still, he hated Fairfeather’s smirk far more, so he sighed slightly.

“…It would have been a waste to lose somepony of your… talents.”

Whether this was enough for Fairfeather or not, Blueblood could not be certain; the griffon continued forward regardless, thinking about the prince’s intervention.

“…Since when did you have that much power?”

“As I mentioned before- I would not expect you to understand.”

Chapter 11: Thieves and Crooks

It was difficult for me to open my eyes. However, it was also difficult for me to keep them closed. Such a moral conundrum was difficult to wake up to, particularly with the dull ache that bounced around the inside of my head. Regardless, neither option seemed more pleasant than the other, so I relied on my other senses to provide motivation for the movement of my eyelids.

I felt the harsh ground underneath my body, making me long for the comfort of that shit train carriage from the other day. That comfort felt far off as the crackle of a campfire filled my ears. The fire’s sounds and the smell of smoke led me to focus on my own body’s temperature, more so of how balanced it felt. The air was still, and the surface of my skin felt warm- no doubt due to the external source beside me.

Forcing my eyes to open, I saw my two fellow travellers sitting around a campfire in a small, circular clearing, with a few trees dotting its perimeter. Our Town lay barely more than a stone’s throw away, yet two-thirds of my unlikely trio had decided to stop where they stood in order to set up camp for the night. I sat up with the intent to move closer to the fire, but I was halted by a growing numbness that reminded me of the day’s events.

“Relax,” Blueblood called out softly from his seat around the campfire. “The spell should keep the pain away.” He gestured towards my arm as he spoke, drawing my attention to the affected appendage. Through the numbness, I was able to feel a dwindling warmth coursing through my wound, with the occasional heartbeat jolting some life into the ruined muscle.

I gave an experimental flex of my fingers, thankful of their continued function, and brushed my hand along the bandage that covered much of my arm, long-since stained a dull red. My inspection was cut short by Fairfeather pushing a stick that had some form of meat on it into my face.

“Here.”

The griffon waited until I took the stick from him before sitting down beside me, also enjoying the warmth from the fire. “How did you know that I can eat meat?” I asked him.

“Lucky guess,” was all that griffon said, a fulfilled smile spread across his face. There was a tenderness to our voices; much like the air around us, our minute exchange was soft and served as a well-overdue exhale after the events of the last day-and-a-half. Not waiting for a second opinion, I tore into the meat, revelling in the way that it shredded in my mouth and woke me up with its smoky flavour.

“I did not know that you were carnivorous,” came the tentative voice of Blueblood. Faced with the prospect of two meat-eaters, I’m sure that he was thankful to be sitting opposite us.

“Not carnivorous, mate,” I replied casually, pointing my stick at the prince, enjoying the sight of the meat’s juices dripping down into the fire. “I’m an omnivore- I like oranges.”

Blueblood gave no response to my justification, continuing to eat from a large pile of blackberries that was piled at his side. The implications of the prince’s silence began to dawn on me, and I grew frustrated at the sudden halt in the conversation.

“I’m not a savage, you know; I don’t eat horses.”

“Oh no- it’s not that. I was wondering if your friends know about your eating habits.”

“Don’t really have any friends.”

“Surely there must be somepony that you-”

“-I don’t think it matters either way.”

“Don’t force a conflict, dude,” Fairfeather added at the risk of escalating the problem. “Nopony’s getting hurt. Apart from you.” He nudged at my side as he added that final part. Snarky bugger. Despite what the griffon may’ve intended, the movement that he made allowed me to see the small hole in his side.

“Thanks for that.”

I tried to give the griffon a playful push, but my arm didn’t allow me to do too much. Being reminded of the circumstances that led to my injury, I sought to address the elephant in the room. “I shouldn’t’ve allowed that to happen,” I lamented, gesturing at my blood-soaked bandage and then to Fairfeather’s side. “That was an easy fight and I fucked it.”

“It was a one-in-a-million shot. And the thing’s dead- we’re eating him right now!”

“Very casual way of saying that you’ve killed and skinned a wild animal.”

“Damn tasty though. Just couldn’t cook the innards.”

Fairfeather’s nonchalant nature caught me a bit by surprise- I know for sure that I would’ve treated such an idiotic case of friendly fire quite differently, yet the griffon seemed happy to pretend that the incident hadn’t happened for the sake of the group. My generosity certainly wouldn’t have stretched that far.

“They spend their whole adult lives looking for a mate,” Fairfeather commented. He had manged to munch his way through a whole load of meat, and he seemed to be settling down in the fragile tranquillity around us.

“So, you’re saying it was pissed off ‘cause it couldn’t get laid? What a loveless life,” I replied, likely misinterpreting the point of the griffon’s comment.

“Well, you know how involuntary celibacy leads ponies to fall into idiocy,” Blueblood interjected between berry bites. I was less-than-impressed with the prince’s comment.

“I don’t think a lack of pussy is any justification for violence.”

“You must not have gotten acquainted with the mares of Canterlot, then- those harlots will do anything for a price.”

“The idea barely appeals to me. No offense, but I don’t know how I’d feel doing that, especially if it’s just as soulless as you describe.”

“Soulless? Au contraire- they will leave you feeling just as full as they will be once you-”

“-And you’ve lost me.”

“Same here. I nearly died and I want some sleep,” Fairfeather muttered as he moved to lay down a short distance from the fire.

“You nearly died? Get real, mate.”

Fairfeather scoffed as he closed his eyes and turned away from us. Maybe poorly thought-out sexual references weren’t on the table for tonight, as I also became aware of my need for sleep. I had my heart set on some shut-eye, until I remembered that I’d probably only woken up a short while ago, and that I had no chance of drifting off any time soon.

With nothing else to do, I rooted through my backpack, which had miraculously survived the assault. There was little in there, aside from basic supplies, but I continued to root around until my hand collided with something heavy.

“Mayhaps I pushed a few buttons…?” Blueblood teased.

“By the sounds of it, you’ve played with enough people’s buttons,” I retorted while getting a feel of the object in my grip.

“Well, I don’t mean to brag-”

“-Then don’t,” Fairfeather interjected, rolling over to face us. “Goodnight.” The griffon’s removal from the conversation left Blueblood with little to comment on- until his eyes fixated on what I’d managed to pull out from my backpack.

“What in the world are you reading?”

I looked up from the book with a slight smile running across my face. “My Experiences with Dragon Lilies. I hear it gets quite intriguing at around chapter 53.” I laughed to myself; of course, out of everything I could’ve brought…

Beggars can’t be choosers, I suppose, so I got to reading, although my light-headedness made it difficult to focus on the small-print.

“What could possess somepony to read something so…boring?” the prince continued, reflecting my earlier concerns with a certain mare’s reading material. Again, I struggled to contain a smile as I thought of an answer.

“I dunno. It takes my mind off my arm, at least.”

Again, I turned my attention back to my book; I could barely read anything that was written on those cursed pages. Only when my group’s conversation seemed far off in the quiet air of the night did I raise my head again and ask Blueblood a question that’d been on my mind for a long time.

“So…does that little tuxedo thing go over your neck or what?”

“Excuse me?”

“It looks like one of those lifejackets that you put around your neck- it’s ridiculous.”

In the dim light of the following morning, Double Diamond was delighted at the sight of our return, if only due to the seeds that Fairfeather carried. Nevertheless, the stallion fulfilled his end of the bargain and pointed us in the general direction as to where Starlight had apparently run off to. “It’s just a short trot in that direction,” he had said. It certainly didn’t feel that way.

The snow had begun to fall heavily as we made our way up a narrow mountain pass, steep drops threatening to make any misstep a fatal one. Between the gale and the snowdrift that came with it, I began to wonder whether we’d even be able to find any signs of the flighty mare, but those thoughts were dispelled when I noticed a specific point of interest.

“Fairfeather,” I began, tentatively. “I know my reading still isn’t at a hundred percent, so please forgive me if I believe that that says…”

“Yeah…that says, ‘Starlight’s Cave’.”

In the ultimate definition of shithousery, Double Diamond had ever-so coincidentally neglected to mention that there was a large, bright purple neon sign that hung above an otherwise nondescript cave entrance. Guess he really needed those seeds- that’s of course not to mention the logistics of including near-enough a bloody Christmas light display outside of your evil lair.

“Are you taking the piss- this was here the whole time?!”

“…We’ve been duped.”

“Like a hooker on Hoofday,” Blueblood commented, mashing both of his forehooves together. The possible origins of such an expression loomed large in my mind as I thought of things that I had a hard time dispelling.

Sure enough, even the prince was able to tell that we’d been sewn up, as we gawked at the sign above us, watching it throw all measures of subtlety and common sense out the window. Things couldn’t get much more sardonic than this, so I dragged myself to the cave in a bid to get this over with.

“So, we’re just waltzing through the front entrance?” Blueblood asked with some exasperation, gesturing towards the writing, alluding to the often-dreadful idea of walking straight into a possible supervillain’s living room.

“Listen, mate, I’m tired and I just want this over with, so let’s just take our chances with the front.”

Undeterred by the call of common sense, I continued into the cave, not looking back to see if my group was following me. Fairfeather was the first to give into the absurdity and follow me in. “Let’s hope she’s friendly…”

Stepping into Starlight’s Cave, I came to the determination that I was, indeed, in a cave. Shocking, I know. Dark, cold and dripping with an echoing wetness, it was about as unwelcoming as expected. Even the lowly shack in Our Town was preferrable to this, especially as I continued to bang my head on the occasional stalactite as I found out that I was much too tall for this world.

“It’s very easy for us that she left the front door open,” I commented, trying to find the bright side of having to stumble in what was essentially pitch-black.

“It’d be even easier if we could see,” Fairfeather added. He also appeared to be struggling. Although doing better than I was, the occasional sound of tumbling rocks and bodies colliding into stone suggested that none of us were doing particularly well in finding our way.

“One moment,” Blueblood stated, lighting up a spell and creating a small ball of light that hung off the end of his horn. It did little to illuminate the surroundings- but it was better than nothing. At the very least, it lit up a small path for us to follow.

A path that took a long time to follow, apparently: a seemingly unending chasm that appeared to have been forcefully tunnelled through. The tunnel felt completely devoid of life; the only indications of any previous activity were the occasional flickers and crackles of an erratic form of magic.

“So, how do we know Starlight’s even in here?” I asked after a long while of walking. The formation of the cave was random, yet it all felt the same; with every meandering corner, the feeling that time was being wasted began to grow.

“Funny you should mention that,” Fairfeather answered with a point further down the tunnel. “‘Cause, with a bit of luck, that’s her.” He pointed to a blue light, barely visible in the distance. It was similar to the crackles of light that emerged from the cave’ walls, yet this light was constant: dimming and brightening in the rhythm of spasmodic breathing.

The light intensified as we approached it, to the point where it was difficult to look at for long periods of time. Its source was still uncertain, however, so I still felt a sense of unease underneath its glare. This didn’t last forever, though- just as the light intensified, the glow suddenly faded away, revealing the pony who was responsible for this whole endeavour.

The mare in question looked to have been found, although there didn’t seem to be much of her left to salvage. Her body seemed in decent enough condition: a strong frame that made her slightly taller than the average mare. If bold colours were a sign of strength, her mane kept her powerful image alive: bold shades of purple and blue contrasted with her pale pink fur, utilising colours that I associated with dark matter.

Her striking colours suggested that she was a pony capable of great power, although the pony that I saw was a pathetic imitation; a mockery of the potential that this mare surely held. It wasn’t through any marks on her body, though- looking upon the pale pink mass, there were little signs of any harm. Maybe her body was in such good condition because all the damage had transferred to her mind.

She looked broken, shaking quietly in the corner whilst staring at the ground and hiding behind a nonsensical smirk. Even as we closed in on her, clearly audible in our clumsiness, the mare didn’t give off the impression of registering our presence. “If I were to guess, I would say that we have found our harlot,” Blueblood announced triumphantly. I don’t why he sounded so proud- the girl was a wreck.

“Even if she’s not, we’re taking her with us,” I responded as I set off to confront the mare, only to be stopped by Fairfeather.

“Woah, woah, woah! You’re just gonna walk over there?”

“Look at her- she looks barely conscious right now. Maybe she needs a hug.”

Celestia never outright told me about the crimes that Starlight had committed- or even if she’d done anything wrong at all. Either way, this pathetic little thing looked absolutely hopeless, and I had no worries as I strode up to the mare and towered over her prone form.

“Starlight Glimmer?”

My question garnered no response, so I reached down and ran a hand through the mare’s striped mane, admittedly savouring the sensation. “Oi, Starlight.” After receiving no response for the second time, I knelt down and shook the mare, trying to jolt her back to life. “Wakey wakey, sugarplum. Wake up and smell the coffee.”

Still unresponsive, Starlight kept her head down, intent on staring at the floor even after receiving this treatment. This continued for some time until I gave up and allowed the mare to slump back to her normal position. “This is a waste of time. Anyone got any ideas?”

“I mean, we’ve just gotta bring her back, right? It doesn’t matter what condition she’s in when she gets there,” Fairfeather suggested with a matter-of-fact tone that I wouldn’t personally associate with kidnapping. I may say that, but this suggestion appealed to me, so I abandoned the catatonic mare and turned my attention to the cave walls, which appeared to have some form of writing carved into them. I motioned for Blueblood to come closer and illuminate the scrawling so that they could be read.

“What’s all this say?”

“Nonsense about time travel… cutie marks… ‘Sunburst’?” Blueblood observed, bringing up a forehoof to scratch at his chin. ‘Nonsense’ may well have been the correct word to describe it all. Dotted around the cave in random intervals, disconnected words and phrases of varying sizes and fonts littered the walls and gave insight into a clearly decaying psyche.

“Why have you come?” came a voice from the space behind me, solemn and defeated. I could’ve taken a guess as to who that voice belonged to, and I was unsurprised to see Starlight raising her head to look at her visitors, her large, blue eyes drowning in their own self-pity.

“So, you are still with us,” I affirmed as I greeted the mare, enjoying watching her mind struggle to comprehend the creature in front of her. Already unhinged, Starlight stared at me with wide eyes, clapping both her forehooves together and smashing them into her face.

“Now I really am insane,” she whispered, thinking aloud. She continued to clap her forehooves together- although, she thankfully missed out the part where she hit herself in the face. I knelt down and put my hands on both of her forehooves, trying to get her attention.

“I think that ship’s already sailed, love. Listen, you’re needed by Princess Cele-”

“-Princess?! Did you say ‘princess’?!”

Without warning, Starlight leaped forward and pressed her face into mine, causing me to fall backwards. I could feel her hot breath on my lips as the mare on top of me snarled in a way known only to the catatonic. I was also made particularly aware of the mare’s positioning as her body pinned my arm to the floor, causing me to wince from the growing sensation.

“…Is there a problem with that?” I asked as I gingerly tried to push the mare away from my face. She was surprisingly strong in this regard, anchoring herself onto me and making more of an effort to hang on with every push that she received.

“Princess? Which princess?”

“I was trying to tell you…!”

Pushing more with my right arm, I finally gained some leverage and painfully pried Starlight away from me, albeit with the intervention of Fairfeather and Blueblood.

“Yes- the princess. I’d like to see the princess,” Starlight commented before she went back to sitting on her haunches and clapping her forehooves. Despite her resumed docility, I hurried myself to my feet and rubbed at my left arm with concern.

“…Are you alright?” I asked the mare, wondering where the hell Celestia finds these people. Surely, someone like this couldn’t be worth much. Even more so considering that my question seemed to have fallen on deaf ears again as Starlight stared off in a random direction, her mind preoccupied.

“The princess…”

Concerned about both her and my own welfare, I pulled Fairfeather to one side. “Yo, is she gonna be okay to take back with us?” I whispered to the griffon, who seemed far less concerned than I was.

“Relax- I’ve got something that’ll keep her quiet.”

He pulled out a small arrow, much smaller than the rest of the ones in his arsenal. It glowed a sickly green colour, dripping some sort of liquid onto the cave floor. I resisted the masculine urge to put my finger in the substance as my mind generated further questions about my feathered friend.

“I don’t even want to know what that is.”

“Just say the word and wham! Lights out.”

A simple roll of the eyes seemed to be commonplace in situations where neither me nor my contemporaries had anything to add to a conversation. So, I did just that as I reluctantly approached Starlight once more. “So, what’re you here for?” I calmly asked her.

“They betrayed me. They all betrayed me…” was Starlight’s response. Her stare never changed, constantly looking straight ahead with a blank expression as she delivered her answer.

“Who did?”

“All of them…”

There was something about people only vaguely answering my questions that really irked me. I had no interest in going round in circles, and I could tell that I’d get nothing more from Starlight. I’d seen enough. “Listen, you’ve got some demons to face, I’m sure- but that’s not my problem right now. Do it, Fairfeather.”

Not half a second later, a miniature arrow lodged itself into Starlight’s neck. The mare didn’t even have enough time to react as she collapsed onto the floor. And with that, the cave fell silent, with the distant echo of the mare’s fall disappearing into the distance.

“I say- that went much better than the fight with that creature,” Blueblood commented amusedly from his position behind us. He had a point; it was almost anticlimactic with how quickly that encounter had come to an end.

“Yeah, that felt fairly superfluous,” I agreed. I focused on my arm again, re-examining the damage and wondering if this was all worth it. “But, Christ, that was a strong effect. What did you put in that?” I directed at Fairfeather, who was busy pridefully dusting off his bow.

“If I told you that, you’d never see me again.”

“As I expected,” a satisfied Blueblood remarked.

“I guess we’re all thieves and crooks here.”

“So…how do we get her out 0f here?” Fairfeather asked as he lightly kicked at Starlight’s body for whatever reason.

“Well, we cou-” I began only to be cut off by a sound that emanated from an object that I’d completely forgotten about. A buzz confirmed my suspicions as I pulled my phone from my backpack, thanking pure convenience that it was still functioning. Lady luck must’ve been coming my way now.

“What the heck is that?” Fairfeather asked, completely confused. I was in no mood to explain, so I turned my back on my curious friend and raised a hand up in response.

“Uh, one second.”

It appeared that, of all the times, Rarity had taken up my offer of getting in touch. I ignored the perplexed looks on my friends’ faces as I fulfilled the otherworldly concept of answering the phone. “Oh Rarity- what a lovely surprise,” I began, taking notice of Blueblood’s change in expression as I spoke.

“Hello, darling,” Rarity responded, her slightly hesitant voice sounding as clear as day. “I do hope that I’m not intruding on anything. Oh, I misjudged how strange this must look. I appear to be talking to myself on the way back from the market.” Her voice was comforting; I felt my body relax and I let out a deep sigh in response to the soft chimes that flooded my ears.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, love- nearly everyone I’ve met so far has had something wrong with them.”

“…I’m not sure how to react to that one.”

Yeah, my phrasing could do with some work. I could practically feel the second-hand embarrassment that radiated from my companions as I spoke again.

“What I’m saying is, I won’t judge.”

“I should hope not. You just need to work on your phrasing.”

“I sure know that. So, what’re you calling for? Not that I’m bothered by your voice.”

“This was your idea, was it not? I was to use this bizarre spell to speak with you once you were free to arrange a date. Although, if the acoustics are any indication, you currently do have your hooves full.”

“Oh, not at all, love. In fact, I’ll be coming back to Canterlot later today so I can come and find you probably around lunchtime tomorrow.”

I twirled my hand as I spoke, wanting to wrap this shit up. Frankly, Rarity’s introduction to this scene felt very unnecessary, and she did little but interrupt any ideas of how we were going to get back to Canterlot. Still, she didn’t know this, so she continued with the same tone that she always had.

“Please don’t push yourself too hard, even for me. Twilight has told me how the Princesses are putting you through the wringer, as it were.”

That was it! Rarity’s enjoyable drawling was the lightbulb moment I needed. How could I not have realised this sooner? This was Celestia’s problem, so it was her turn to get off her lazy arse and help me out for a change. It was the least she could do. Although, maybe I was slightly too overjoyed upon reaching this revelation, as my response sought to demonstrate.

“Ah, that reminds of a way to get out of here! Rarity, you beautiful little vixen- you’ve given me a great idea!”

If Rarity had a body, I’d hug it. That may not have been the best way to phrase that, but you know what I mean. Rarity didn’t.

“Well…you have obviously had a rather exhausting trip so I will allow you to finish what you’ve started. Do take care, darling. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Rarity. Yeah, see you soon.”

And so, another awkward conversation came to a close. Putting down my phone, I couldn’t help but notice Blueblood and his ridiculously exaggeratedly disapproving face. “What’s with your face- you look like you’ve been smacked across the head with a bag of wet shit.”

I doubted that the expression was lost on him. In an instant, the prince’s face shifted back to a more neutral stance as he tilted his head up and turned away from me. “Certain stones are best left unturned,” he muttered.

That wasn’t good enough.

“What? Rarity?” I continued to probe, despite already knowing the answer. As if it wasn’t obvious enough, the prince proved himself to be a terrible liar as well- showcased by him giving no response and looking up at the ceiling. “Ah! It’s Rarity.”

“Of course not.”

“It is! You tried to get with her, and she kicked you on your arse, didn’t she?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come on, now- two white, up-and-coming, at-first-glance-up-their-own-arses little bureaucrats. On a surface level, you two seem perfect for each other. But you fucked it; it’s clear as day and now you’re just another bloke who butchered a golden opportunity.”

“It was a time that we would both rather forget, I am sure. I have grown a lot since then.”

The prince’s lack of a satisfying reaction was underwhelming. For Fairfeather, though, this was his golden opportunity to push a few buttons of his own. “Since when- on the way up the mountain? ‘Cause you were a real asshole before all this,” the griffon chimed in, unwilling to let go of the prince’s vulnerable state.

I expected Blueblood to fire back at Fairfeather with a barrage of insults, yet the prince closed his eyes and sighed. “Perhaps I may not always be able to appropriately show how I truly feel-”

“-If anything, you’re too good at it-”

“-I may not always be able to show how I feel in front of the other nobles. Perhaps Celestia was correct: spending time with the common folk may indeed help with my self-expression.”

“You know who you’re talking to, right? A human and a griffon?” I asked.

“Nothing ‘common’ about us!” Fairfeather announced as he completed my point for me. He hooked one of his forelimbs around my shoulder, pulling me closer than I would’ve liked. It seemed that personal space was a luxury in this world.

“Or, at least, not normal,” I remarked as I offered an alternative. Blueblood gave a hearty laugh; I found this unfamiliar sound greatly disturbing, and Fairfeather seemed to be feeling the same.

“You may very well be right,” the prince concluded. Finally, it seemed, we’d reached some form of common ground. Common ground in the middle of a cave, covered in blood, dust and Starlight Glimmer’s phlegm. What a time to get the hell out of here.

“Actually, speaking of Celestia, Rarity reminded me that I can ring her and get her to do all the work for a change.”

One ring later, and I had found myself in direct contact with the princess herself. I shed a tear for the castle’s security if it was this easy to access the royals of this land.

“Good afternoon, David.”

The princesses voice had much the same effect on me as Rarity’s had had previously. Maybe not quite the same, though, as Celestia’s voice left me slightly on edge as I leaned against the cave wall. “Yeah, hi, Celestia- uh, princess. Uh, we’ve got Starlight, but she’s…uh…”

“…She will be difficult for you to transport?”

“Y-yeah…you could say that, yeah. Sorry- I hate talking on the phone.”

“The situation is novel for us both. I will send some soldiers to collect Miss Glimmer. All I will need is your location.”

I glanced around for a moment.

“I dunno. We’re in a fucking cave somewhere.”

“Well, leave that…cave and make yourself known. Blueblood should know how- unless you have fulfilled your previous promise and gotten him killed for me.”

“I kinda did the opposite. I-I’ll let him know.”

“Please do. I will see you here soon for your payment, young one.”

“See, can you choose between calling me by my name or carrying on with ‘young one’? It messes me up a bit.”

“Of course, David. Although, I suggest that you see Twilight in Ponyville beforehoof. I believe that you have young ones of your own who have been waiting for you.”

I really didn’t like the way she spoke. It was probably just my fatigue talking, but did she really have to be like that? I get it- ‘incredibly powerful goddess capable of levelling the planet’, but… what was I ranting about? Do I always sound like this?

“Looking forward to it. I’d better get paid a hell of a lot for this.”

“I will see you soon, young one. Oh, and, just to be clear, there is no need to tell Twilight about this expedition- this stays between us.”

And with that worrying threat of confidentiality, the princess graciously hung up the phone- or the alicorn equivalent. I could feel a warmth through my cheeks for whatever reason, but at least I’d done the princess’ chores. Still…

“…A ‘goodbye’ would’ve been nice.”

Chapter 13: A Longer One Now That He's Returned

It was nearly sunset by the time Twilight reached Ponyville’s train station. The temperature had cooled, and the sun was at such a level that the mare could see a blanket of orange begin to creep up the length of the platform. It was the only thing that her nervous mind could focus on at that moment, as she prepared for David to arrive with the expectation of collecting his children.

As to be expected, the children were nowhere to be found, though that statement may have been somewhat misleading. Twilight knew where the girls were- she was confident of that- but the duo had decided against accompanying their pseudo-carer.

Not that they had had a choice, though, as Twilight had left the girls to fend for themselves in Sweet Apples Acres after vaguely guiding them towards the farm. Applejack was likely to be courteous- albeit, slightly confused- with the situation, but Twilight’s short-term mind had decided that she was absolutely required to greet David when he arrived.

Twilight hoped that she was correct in her assumption as one of Canterlot’s many trains rolled into the station. With an uneasy feeling in her chest, she watched as a familiar figure exited one of the carriages on the far side of the platform, staggering through the small crowd in noticeable discomfort. Her delight was blatant as she saw that David had returned in one piece- mostly.

Clearly, the human had been put through the wringer- that much was plain for Twilight to see. Rarity would surely have had something to say regarding the tattered state of his clothing, but there was more to worry about than that. Twilight fixated on the various clusters of scratches and bruises that blighted his skin, festering below a clearly visible mark below his left eye.

But those marks only served to distract Twilight from the reddened bandage that covered the majority of his forearm. And when she finally fixated on it the appendage, she struggled to focus on anything else. The damage was clear to see, and the pitiful way in which he cradled it pushed Twilight forward into action.

Already distracted by the dull ache in his left arm, David was caught unaware by Twilight’s advance as she sprang into him and wrapped her forelegs around his torso. He reluctantly caught the mare as she leaned froward and pressed herself into his chest.

“David…!” she called out meekly, her voice slightly muffled by the human’s shirt. Her decision to throw herself at him was beginning to draw some attention from the other ponies at the station- not that she seemed to mind.

David was not quite so content with this attention, falling more victim to the judgemental stares when compared to the pony in his arms. Struggling with the eye contact, he closed his eyes and felt through the blackness until his hand made contact with Twilight’s mane. He moved his hand up and down across the back of Twilight’s head, ruffling her mane slightly.

Blocking out the stares was supposed to help David in his predicament, although he became aware of the nature of the hug that he and Twilight shared: the stroking of her hair and closed eyes possibly carried further unfortunate implications.

“How lucky is that; just who I needed to see,” he remarked as he released his grip. Twilight felt this release of tension and raised her head to match the human’s gaze. Upon meeting it, however, she faltered; she had much to say, yet she struggled to find the correct words to use.

This was a new conundrum for the mare, who hoped that her eyes did enough to portray her current feelings to the one who still held her close. Regardless, she felt no need to let go, so, again, she waited for David to make the next move in their interaction.

“…You alright?” he eventually asked, noticing Twilight’s inaction. Sounding more amused than concerned, he hoped that his softer tone of voice could coax the mare out of her reverie.

“You’re hurt,” Twilight commented, clearly referencing her friend’s bloody bandage. She absentmindedly reached out to rub her hoof along its surface but restrained herself once her mind caught up to what her body was doing.

“…Great work, detective,” he calmly replied, his eyes also being drawn to the sodden gauze that had begun to fall away, exposing the tender flesh underneath. With his other arm, he gently pried the mare away from him with a slight smile. Twilight gave little resistance to her removal, allowing herself to disconnect from him. With this, her mental clarity returned as she began her questioning.

“What happened? Did you see the princess? Is that why you’re-”

Placing a finger on Twilight’s lips, David interrupted her almost instantly. Despite his best efforts, he felt his smile increase in intensity as he watched the mare’s face redden under this new contact. “Shh. I don’t have the strength,” he explained with increasingly laboured breaths. “I’m absolutely knackered, Twilight. I just want to get my girls and go.”

“David…” Twilight spoke solemnly in response. “What happened to you? Your foreleg- how did you…” she trailed off, backing away and letting her ears lay flat against her head. David picked up on this and reached out to pull Twilight back into an awkward, one-armed embrace. He gave her a moment for her to find her smile again, and then he let her go.

“I fucked my arm up pretty bad,” he explained, flexing the fingers in his left hand. “My fault. I’ll deal with that later, though- where are my girls?”

Twilight ignored much of that statement. “I’m not the best at healing magic, but can I take a look at your foreleg? I think I might be able to stop the pain at least,” she reasoned with a warm smile. David did not match the mare’s contentedness, as his face fell back down to its usual neutral state.

“Where are they, Twilight?”

“Oh, I… left them with Applejack!” Twilight responded with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

“Who?”

“She runs a farm near here called ‘Sweet Apple Acres’. She’s very strong- dependable too; they’ll be in good hooves while we-”

Increasingly unimpressed, David stepped forward to look down upon Twilight, who shuffled nervously in his shadow. The more the human’s form filled her vision, the harder it was for Twilight to look away as her decision making was put under scrutiny.

“You’re telling me that you left the two children that you were entrusted with at some random place with someone that you know that I’ve never heard of?”

“…Yes?”

Twilight’s enthusiasm seemed to have evaporated- the only indication of it ever existing being the forced smile that still occupied her face. She expected the worst, flinching by turning her head away from the encroaching threat, but she received no such retaliation.

“I don’t have the strength,” David repeated as he looked down at the floor and sighed. “Just take me to the farm.”

“Of course!” Twilight beamed, happy to clear the air. “Follow me!”

Content with how the conversation ended, Twilight began to slowly fly to Sweet Apple Acres with a soft smile on her face, checking every so often that David was still in tow. He struggled to be, given his already-fatigued state- although that did allow him the space to mutter under his breath.

“If anything’s happened, I’m gonna rip those wings off, Sparkle.”

“…And that’s about everything,” Twilight explained to me as she finished her narration of the previous day’s events. It sounded like she’d done what I would’ve expected her to do: tolerated the little ones until I got back. I was still concerned about the girls’ welfare, but I trusted her. Even for someone as dense as she was, she wouldn’t deliberately put children in harm’s way, especially if she was supposed to be doing me a favour by caring for them.

Still, there was one part of her story that confused me. “That’s all fine and good, but why did you include the part of the story that I was there for?” I questioned the mare, who immediately snapped her neck away from me. “You spoke to me at the station- I was obviously there for that.”

Twilight let out a nervous little giggle, likely to fill the silence. “It was good at passing the time?” she offered hopefully, looking at me hopefully with rosy cheeks. I guess it was my turn to laugh at that point. I didn’t expect anything less.

And she was right: we’d certainly travelled a long distance. An emergence of apple trees signalled that Sweet Apple Acres was soon to be on the horizon as the sun above wished to sink below the hills that surrounded the farm. Even though I felt as if I was on death’s doorstep, I closed my eyes and felt what was left of the evening sun kiss my eyelids goodnight.

I stumbled slightly as I walked, with Twilight leaning in and offering me a body to lean on. She’d noticed my uneven movement almost instantly and had dropped down to offer her support, which was sweet of her. I’m sure that her magic would’ve been more than able to support my weight, but she must’ve found more value in physical contact. I did too.

“I’m not normally like this,” I stated wearily with a soft voice- barely above a whisper. The path that led to Sweet Apple Acres was deserted with only the occasional chirp to provide any interruption to the peaceful silence that surrounded us.

I didn’t know if I was apologising or what, and I’d hoped that Twilight hadn’t heard me. Maybe she also had some stray thoughts on her mind, as she resumed the conversation with a confession of her own. “Don’t worry about it,” she reassured me. “Really- it’s no trouble at all. I was the one who sent those two out here.”

“I know, but-”

“You’ve been through a lot today- and you’re hurt,” Twilight interrupted, pushing against my body with more force as if she was trying to jolt me back to life. “My offer still stands: let me know if you want me to have a look at your foreleg.”

“It’s called an ‘arm’, Twilight.”

“Okay, Mr. Know-it-all, fine,” Twilight impishly huffed in response. She lightly pushed against me again in a more playful manner. “I don’t know anything about ‘arms’ so I guess I can’t help you.”

“Oh dear- it appears that I have hurt my foreleg,” I sardonically proclaimed. “Oh, please would you fix it for me?” On the side of sadism, I pushed the bloody appendage into Twilight’s face, who recoiled in disgust. This quickly backfired, though, as I began to fall once we became separated.

“Of course,” she responded after reattaching herself to my side. “Though, I’m glad that you don’t have an ‘arm’; it’s so different to a foreleg. We ponies use our forelegs for movement, gestures, grabbing things… who knows what a ‘human’ would use an ‘arm’ for?”

“Smartarse.”

“What was that?”

“Thank you. For my arm. I appreciate it.”

My answer seemed to have caught Twilight by surprise. She took a moment to verbally respond, but her body did much of the talking for her as she did a little bounce before continuing on her way. “Don’t thank me- I haven’t done anything yet!” she practically sang with an extra spring in her step. The sight of her doing so was cute, but I braced myself for a bumpier ride as I thought of something to say.

“You know, humans don’t really use arms for movement, you smart alec,” I commented. Readying my finger and thumb, I flicked my finger so that it connected with Twilight’s forehead around the base of her horn. Much to my disappointment, the mare seemed unfazed by the impact as she continued to bounce away.

“I bet you use them to run up stairs on all fours.”

“…They serve a greater purpose than that.”

“I’m not hearing a ‘no’.”

“…”

“Thought so.”

Twilight closed her eyes and looked away from me with a smug smile; I heard a soft hum as she likely celebrated her victory. I’ll admit: she’d grown on me, and, if I wasn’t desperately thinking of a comeback at that moment, I may’ve spared a thought for my harebrained companion.

“Yeah, well, one day I might show you what they’re for, then.”

“Hmm?”

I enjoyed the sound of her little hum. Again, the sound of conversation faded away and was replaced by the periodic chirping that seemed to have followed us all the way to the apple orchard. There was little time to dwell on it, however, as I silently praised myself for holding a conversation for this long. Result.

“There it is now- Sweet Apple Acres. Let’s go find Applejack.”

“Whatever you say, Sparks.”

It turned out that Applejack was easy to find, as well as easy to identify. As Twilight and I entered the farm’s outskirts, I put together all the country stereotypes that I could think of and applied it to a pony. My assumptions weren’t too far off.

Cowboy hat? Yep. Tanned, orange skin (or fur, supposedly)? Of course. Packed full of muscle? I’d have been insulted if she wasn’t. All this wrapped up with a wonderfully stereotypical US southern accent? Fantastic stuff. A soft face sought to contrast against her burly body, showcasing tender, green eyes and an assortment of freckles that made her appear far more approachable.

And approach her, I did. Due to the flat path that Twilight and I found ourselves on, Applejack had had time to take in my appearance and respond accordingly. The apple horse remained composed in my presence, hinting at a cool head that was just as efficient as her strong body. “Good gravy, Twilight,” she calmly mused with a large grin on her face. “What in Canterlot’s crust have you brought home this time?”

I’d never been a huge fan of southern drawl, but hearing it every now and then can be nice. Whether Applejack knew that I was capable of talking back was anyone’s guess, but she was respectful in the way that she looked me over. “I brought myself here, actually,” I answered on Twilight’s behalf, enjoying the way in which Applejack vision instantly snapped up to meet my gaze.

“Woah,” the southern mare responded, her smile never faltering. “Sorry there, big guy- thought you was another accident.” Her explanation raised some questions, and I already knew that Twilight would be unwilling to assist in answering them. Naturally, that didn’t stop me from staring her down, mainly to watch the way that she squirmed under the pressure. An uneasy chuckle left her lips as she kept her secrets to herself.

It seemed that Applejack was also unfazed by Twilight’s nervous tics, which was nice to know. At least I was now fully aware of the fact that the princess’ behaviour was nothing new.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you anyway. Applejack, I assume?”

“Howdy!” Applejack exclaimed with great gusto. “Can’t say I’ve seen anything looking like you around here before.”

“Name’s David. Uh, on the subject of that, I don’t suppose you’ve seen two little girls running around here, have you? They look like me but they’re a little shorter.”

“Can’t say I have,” Applejack replied with understandable confusion. She turned to her friend in the hope that she would be able to provide some answers. “What’s this about, Twilight? I wasn’t made aware of any young’uns being let loose on my farm.”

“I… might have sent them here a little while ago. I’ll explain later,” Twilight elaborated without really saying much at all.

“Proper helpful there, Twilight.”

“They’re your foals.”

“Under your care!”

“Simmer down, you two! This ain’t achieving nothing,” Applejack interjected. She moved to stand between the two of us and create some space. With Twilight’s physical absence, I felt the fatigue set in again.

“Right- sorry, look: I just want to get my girls and go home,” I explained apologetically. “I’m sorry that they’ve gotten lost on your farm- even if it wasn’t my fault…” I stared at Twilight for the umpteenth time, who similarly showed the same awkward smile that I’d grown accustomed to seeing.

“So long as you find ‘em…” Applejack replied with a nonchalant shrug. The carefree way in which she spoke was naturally going to result in one of two things: me calming down or the farm mysteriously catching fire, and I was having a hard time figuring out which side to choose.

“Are you sure you haven’t seen anything strange?” Twilight added, her voice soft and vulnerable in its earnestness. It was difficult to gauge the extent to which she cared for the girls’ safety in comparison to wanting to fix her own mistake, but I found her concern endearing, nonetheless.

“Don’t worry about it,” I calmly interjected. “I doubt they’ve gone far.” I may’ve been running on wishful thinking, but my optimism was to be rewarded as a nearby rustling suggested that I was being watched.

“…1, 2, 3… jump!”

“Mr. Bayard!”

In the midst of my conversation, I’d wandered slightly too close to a row of corn that proved to be the perfect site for an ambush. From the yellow maze came Eve and Eva, unable to keep their excitement under control any longer.

Even the calling of my name did little to prepare me for the force of two girls jumping into me simultaneously, leading to me colliding with the dirt beneath me. Despite its soft surface, the impact took the wind out of me, and I cradled my arm once I’d taken an extra breath after the fall.

“You’re home!”

Any attempts at sitting up were futile; I knew that immediately. I still tried, regardless, but I was interrupted twice as two separate bodies piled onto my torso, tiny hands flailing to wrap around the base of my neck. I waited for the pair of them calm down somewhat, making my third attempt at sitting up successful as I tried my best to hold the two sisters against my chest.

“It’s only been a few days,” I muttered, finding little strength in my voice. “But it’s so nice to see you.” I tensed the muscles in my right arm to bring the pair in closer. Even as the two sisters lay with their faces plunged into my torso, a soft shaking made me think that at least one of them was crying.

“I missed you!” came Eva’s voice as it became clear that she was struggling to control her emotions, leaving her unable to speak clearly. In response, I ruffled the girl’s hair as I fought against displaying the same level of emotional disarray.

I would’ve liked to have reciprocated the girl’s feelings, but Eve quickly beat me to it with an “I missed you too,” of her own. Normally the quickest to the punch, Eve was situated slightly further away, and the look on her face suggested that she was regretting allowing her sister the spot closest to my face.

“Your lip’s quivering,” I half-taunted to try and coax the girl on the fringes back into the fray. I stretched out my hand, which she immediately grabbed, using it as leverage to burrow herself into the area around my right shoulder. With herself firmly in position, she allowed herself to breakdown; I found some form of backhanded comfort in her sobbing- despite the fact that I’d been gone for less than seventy-two hours. Everything’s very all-or-nothing these days.

From my position on the floor, I could just about make the form of Twilight in the corner of my vision. It seemed that new situations overwhelmed her as she focused on my little interaction, giving no indication that I’d caught onto her staring. I wonder what she was thinking at that point.

If she was thinking anything at all, that is. From the sound of it, Applejack didn’t have the same emotional investment as Twilight. “I’d like to know what this is all about, Twilight- and why it’s happenin’ on my farm- but I’m all tuckered out from a good day’s buckin’. I’m gonna hit the hay.”

The sound of hooves hitting the dirt with decreasing volume suggested that Applejack had stayed true to her word. I’m sure that she was uncomfortable with being so loosely connected to this occasion- and Twilight’s continued silence did little to improve things. What on Earth was she so preoccupied with?

It took a little while for the little ones to calm themselves down, but once they did, I was able to view the situation in a more professional light.

“You’re covered in muck.”

Reaching towards Eve, I brushed my hand over the girl’s shirt before flicking the mud away in disgust. I briefly thought about repeating the process with Eva, but the dirt that was already between my fingers felt uncomfortable enough.

“I’m sorry,” Eva mumbled as she began to tear up again. It looked as if someone needed a rest.

“No, no, no- it’s okay, littlun,” I reassured her as I wiped an especially large chunk of mud from the crying girl’s cheek, picking up a couple of loose tears as I did so. “I think we’re all a bit tired now. Let’s go home.”

With that last comment, I stood up and offered my hand to the sisters, expecting at least one of them to grab it without hesitation. To my surprise, neither of them took me up on my offer. Turning back to look at them, I was met with the sight of Eve holding out both of her arms and looking up at me expectantly. “Carry me,” she demanded bluntly. The blank look on her face matched her curt delivery as she made her desires very clear.

“What about your sister?” I asked in reply, gesturing to the exhausted girl in question. I wanted to carry them both as neither seemed particularly capable of walking anywhere, but my damaged arm was similarly incapable of the exertion, leaving me with a dilemma.

“I’ve got her,” Twilight gently offered as she lifted Eva into the air and placed the child onto her back. The girl jolted in surprise and would likely have reacted more if she had the energy, but she was too far gone and draped her arms over the mare’s neck as she soon began to softly snore.

“Well, that’s one,” I commented as I picked Eve up and stood beside Twilight. I placed a hand on Eva’s shoulder and smiled, before I felt the girl in my arms begin to drift off to sleep. “Thank you, my lovely,” I said to Twilight warmly. “If we just go back to the station, I’ll come back tomorrow for my arm.”

“No… I want to show you something,” Eve mumbled as she fought to stay awake. She was so quiet that I wouldn’t’ve heard her had her face not been so close to my ear. To add emphasis to her point, she began to deliver repeated, light punches to my shoulder.

“You’re knackered, Eve,” I reasoned through the soft blows. “Let’s just go home.”

“Please, David…” the little girl implored as she tried to pull herself onto my shoulders.

“…”

The mention of my first name proved to be very disarming. I couldn’t find much of an explanation for it, and maybe that was exactly why it got to me. I spent some time looking at the ground and adjusting the girl in my arms as I fought through my confliction.

“Why don’t you stay at my castle tonight?” Twilight offered. “I can look at your arm and your girls can have somewhere to sleep.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“It’s no trouble at all. My castle’s huge, so it’s not like there’s no space. It can also be a little lonely sometimes.”

“If that’s alright…”

Twilight said nothing in return; she answered by slowly trotting towards her castle, which, unfortunately, lay a decent distance away. Still, the long travel time gave me the opportunity to appreciate the silence- a different sort of silence when compared to the campfire from the night before.

Beside me, Twilight chose to stay quiet, appreciating my desire for peace. She would occasionally shift the sleeping child on her back to ensure that neither party was set off-balance, but she mostly ran on autopilot until her castle came into view.

It turned out that Twilight was no liar; her castle certainly was spacious. She kept her visitors on the ground floor, though, insisting that we should wait until morning before venturing upstairs. The events of the previous few days had left me feeling remarkably compliant. I would’ve done just about anything for a good night’s rest at this point, so I followed the mare’s every word. And while my own sleeplessness was on my mind, I knew that the little ones needed to find a bed ASAP.

I also knew that the pair were unlikely to stay asleep without me being present, if the previous nights were any indication. So, after Twilight had pointed out a room in which she would examine my arm, I placed Eve down on a nearby set of cushions and gestured for Twilight to drop her cargo in the same place.

It appeared that I’d been led into Twilight’s library: bookshelves stretched around the circumference of the room I found myself in with a set of comfy-looking chairs and cushions sat on the side furthest away from the door. It is near these chairs that one of the sisters began to stir.

“Where are we?” Eve asked, sitting up after her sister collided with her. Lethargically, she scanned the room but stopped quickly once her eyes met mine.

“In a safe place,” I answered curtly. “You just try and get to sleep- I’ll be right here.” I grabbed the girl’s hand and slowly rubbed the top of her hand with my thumb, watching her eyes gently close despite some resistance. She had no chance.

“Now, shall we?” Twilight prompted as she sat down on a cushion of her own. Patting the seat next her, she smiled warmly and waited for me to take a seat at her side.

“Let’s try and keep this quiet,” I whispered as I sat down. “Don’t want to wake the miscreants.” Twilight giggled softly in response, placing a hoof over her mouth to muffle the sound.

“I’ll be extra quiet- just for you,” the mare replied, supressing another giggle as she did so. “Now, let’s see…”

With a sense of apprehension, Twilight gripped my arm with her magic and began to peel away at the sodden bandage. We both gasped at the exposed flesh underneath: a deep wound that seemed to have been forcefully closed, creating a mishmash of exposed muscle and scabbed skin. “I didn’t know it was this bad…” she muttered breathlessly as she took in the extent of the damage. I couldn’t’ve said it better myself.

“I hope you’re a miracle worker, Sparkle. I don’t know if you can fix this,” I similarly muttered in reply. I couldn’t believe what it looked like now that it’d had time to settle; Blueblood may’ve done what he could, but he could’ve done better, surely. Even my expectations were shattered, and my wound’s exposure to the air caused the burning to set in again.

Twilight gave no response to my call-to-arms, her face scrunched in concentration as she began to make testing jabs at my arm with her magic. The prods made me feel uneasy, particularly if it hurt this much just to test the waters. My unease continued until I felt a jolt of magic pierce my flesh like a needle, causing me to suck in a deep breath as I felt Twilight’s magic begin to worm its way into my flesh.

Whilst I struggled with these new sensations, Twilight was busy prying open certain areas of the wound that Blueblood had patched together and refilling the areas left behind. Not wishing to force the wounds to close in the same way that the prince had, she instead flooded my flesh with a type of energy that encouraged its rejuvenation.

At least, that’s what I think she was doing. It felt right, I guess, as I could feel an excess of energy in my arm that caused my fingers to flex of their own accord. It wasn’t a particularly unpleasant feeling, but I felt as if I’d lost control of my arm, like I was some sort of puppet with Twilight as my master.

I looked over to Twilight for some form of reassurance. There was none to be found, however, as the mare at my side sat with closed eyes, swaying back and forth as if she was physically navigating through the structures of my arm.

Although my lack of control caused me untold levels of grief, I became emboldened by an ever-increasing feeling of fullness that had begun to overtake me. To try and keep some semblance of control, I’d begun the practice of repeatedly flexing and unflexing my fingers, feeling the fibres in my forearm begin to burn from the combined assault of both magic and muscle.

A sudden, audible pop signalled the end of the operation. You, know- the type of pop that’s probably a good thing, but you’re kinda too scared to find out. I abandoned flexing my fingers because of the noise, but I soon came to regret that. The uncontrollable spasm that rumbled through my arm was very convincing.

There was little difference between this sensation and the clenching that I’d experienced earlier- but what concerned me was that it seemed to increase in severity as time went on, even as Twilight opened her eyes and pulled away. I tried to clench my fist, yet I found myself unable to do so due to a searing pain that bubbled up from the magic-enthused laceration.

Soon enough, any breaths that I managed to force from my mouth matched the spasmodic movements of my arm as the panic set in. I was unable to stop myself from fixating on my fingers as they convulsively danced in an outcry of protest. I don’t know which was worse: the incredible pain that threatened to strangle me, or the mental anguish as I watched my arm be forcefully ripped away from me. How much more could it take?

Suddenly, however, I felt the movement in my arm stabilise as Twilight’s magic enveloped my hand and clasped the space between my fingers. The mare said nothing, although her face suggested that this was more from compassion than from concentration. Occasionally, my hand shook- but my fingers stayed in position, forcefully splayed out. I had no choice but to rescind control of my hand to the alicorn, so I closed my eyes and worked to get my breathing under control.

When I dared to open my eyes once more, my vision was immediately filled by Twilight’s concerned face, eyes wide yet heavy from overexertion. Despite this, her face tried its hardest to force a fragile smile- trying to convince everyone in the room, including herself, that everything was okay.

“You think of everything, don’t you?” I softly asked the mare, doing my best to reward her smile. I tried to at least, but, after the silence was broken, the mare’s resolve began to crack as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks.

“I-I didn’t know it would do that,” Twilight stuttered slightly, struggling to keep her composure. “I’ve never done this before and I-”

Acting quickly to dispel the mare’s grief, I interrupted Twilight by pulling her into a quick hug, which she was happy to sink into. Happy to sink into, yet reluctant to return as her hoof hovered uneasily over my shoulder.

Eventually, I lightly pushed her away before replying, “You’re sweet, Twilight. Thank you. Nothing we can do now, anyway; we’ll see tomorrow if you’ve ballsed it up.” It was hard to see Twilight in the state that she was in, so I brushed one of my fingers along her cheek, gliding along the dampened fur in a bid to rejuvenate the poor soul.

She flinched from my touch initially; only a small amount, though, as she leaned back in and kept her eyes firmly on me as I carried out my movements. Her eyes became heavier with every inch I travelled, full-to-the-brim with some kind of emotion that I couldn’t discern. “How is it?” she tentatively asked after I pulled away, hopefully with a clearer mind.

“It’s very painful, but it definitely looks better,” I commented while rotating my arm. I was thankful for the flexibility as I got a better look at my little doctor’s work. The wound still looked exposed, yet it was covered by a thin layer of flesh that looked to be almost held in place, serving as some sort of barrier. Barely lying under the surface was a deep scar which ran along the wound’s centre, likely the magic’s point of entry. “Time will tell.”

Although ambiguity was unlikely to be the response that Twilight was hoping for, she seemed satisfied with this, nonetheless. With my immediate concerns dealt with, it seemed like I could also rest my mind, but then, of course, Twilight had to say something questionable.

“Sometimes pain’s a good thing.”

“…Care to elaborate?”

“Not really.”

“Sometimes I think you do this on purpose.”

“I don’t really want to wake them, you know,” I commented as I looked over at Eve and Eva, thankfully still sleeping soundly. “Though, they won’t like it if I just leave, either- some sort of sixth sense. I might just sleep here to be honest. You got any more cushions?”

“Are you sure? There are a lot of beds in this castle- we can easily find them somewhere better to sleep,” Twilight did her best to reason, getting ready to pick up one of the sleeping sisters.

“No,” I insisted. “If your cushions are enough for these guys, then they’re good enough for me.”

“I’m not going to convince you, am I?”

“Fat chance.”

Placing my hands on my hips, I played my final card of defiance, and Twilight showed little interest in fighting me over it. I’m sure that she’d long since seen the writing on the wall. Instead, she had a different proposition. “Can I sleep with you?” she asked, unaware of her poor phrasing until I raised an eyebrow. “That…came out wrong. Can I sleep in this room…with you…nearby…tonight?”

This caused me to sigh. “Go and get some cushions, then,” I answered, my suspicion slightly aroused. I cleared an area for where I assumed that the cushions would go once Twilight went to go get them. Again, however, my little friend was on a completely different wavelength.

“I can do better than that! One moment…”

I had no idea what hit me. In a flurry that I could barely describe, an avalanche of mattresses, bed covers and pillows descended on the thankfully large room that I was in. Twilight’s efficiency was deeply distressing as she effortlessly stacked everything together to make a picture-perfect set of beds that splayed out from the dead centre of the room. “Now your foals have a bed to sleep on!”

They did indeed have a bed to sleep on- as would the rest of Ponyville if they needed one. Still, it was hardly in Twilight’s nature to underdo something, so I took what I could get. “You see, if I knew that you were going to do that, I would’ve just taken them to a bedroom,” I commented as I began to push two of the beds together.

My movements seemed to have struck a nerve. “But they were all an equal space apart!” Twilight protested loudly. Too loudly, perhaps, as she’d forgotten about the only reason that I was here in the first place.

“What’s happening?” came Eve’s voice as she wiped her eyes. She started to waddle over towards me, happy to be met halfway. Eva shortly followed suit, as I expertly guided the half-awake sisters to the beds that, in their eyes, had mysteriously appeared while they slept.

“Oh no!” Twilight loudly exclaimed before reverting her voice back to a whisper. “They’re awake.” She hesitantly pointed at the pair- who, I should probably mention, were about two feet away from me- as if I wasn’t aware of this.

“How did you not think that they would wake up during that fracas?” I replied in amusement while depositing Eve onto one of the beds.

“Lovely word,” Eva commented from her space on a bed nearby, recently connected to the one now occupied by her sister.

“Thank you.”

From her position on the bed, Eva pressed her hands together to create a miniature heart with her fingers. I’d never seen her do this before, but it made sense to reciprocate. The little girl gave off a little giggle once I returned the gesture before she lowered her head and turned onto her side, looking at her sister as the two wriggled towards each other.

“What kind of relationship do you three have?” Twilight mused while she caught Eve’s gaze, who looked as if she was desperate to say something.

“One that goes back a long way, Sparks,” I stated simply. I didn’t have any interest in saying anymore, doing just enough to hopefully sate the mare’s appetite, but I obviously wasn’t in control of the situation.

“Since nursery!” Eve added, arms splayed as she refused to lie down. I had no idea of the extent of the Equestrian educational system, so I felt the need to elaborate. Oh, joy.

“I went up with them as they went from nursery to primary school,” I elaborated. “Got put in the same school as them- that was quite a shock.” This minor dose of nostalgia must’ve brought a thought to the front of Eve’s mind as she raised her hand into the air and began to wave her arm about.

“Mr. Bayard, can I tell you something?”

“You don’t need to put your hand up.”

“Can you come here, then?”

“Yeah- let me just… move these along a bit.”

With a chuckle at the unnecessary formality, I leaned into one of the many single beds with the intent to push it into the two that Eve and Eva had both occupied. I assumed that the little ones would prefer if our beds were joined together- and I didn’t really mind- so I made sure that there were no large gaps between the three beds as I joined them.

“Are you pushing them all together?” I heard Twilight ask from behind me, clearly not having caught on to the obvious. Knowing that her mind works in mysterious ways, some clarification was in order.

“Don’t get any ideas, kid,” I quickly shut down the mare’s advances before they could begin. “Only these two-”

“-Three,” Eve corrected.

“Only these three are being put together,” I corrected myself, never taking my eyes from the bed that I was pushing, lest the evening was to end in some form of manslaughter charge. Once I’d finished up, I smacked my hands together. “Come on, you two: it’s finally bedtime.”

“What time is it?”

“Bedtime. Now, go to sleep.”

“Not until you come here.”

Eve continued to goad me, creating a beckoning motion with both hands, reeling me in further with each subsequent gesture. “What is it?” I asked, crouching down to Eve’s level. Apparently, this still wasn’t satisfactory, as the girl motioned for me to turn my head and present an ear for her to whisper into.

“I love you,” she whispered to me with a joyful smile. I struggled to process what she said initially, slowly moving my head away and looking off into the distance. Her disclosure, while likely paper-thin and the result of simply being left alone for too long, was a welcome one for my weary mind. It’s nice to be wanted. And, as my heart rate increased and a blush revealed itself on my face, I searched for an appropriate answer to give.

Once I’d fully pulled my head away, Eve looked up at me expectantly, bright eyes and a wide smile greeting me in anticipation of my answer. As she did this, Eva reared her head and tried to wordlessly force herself into the exchange. “…Thank you, sweetheart,” I stated somewhat coldly, unsure of the correct way to react.

My response must’ve missed the mark, as Eve made some sort of disappointed half-whine and looked up at me with sad eyes that looked as if they were waiting for an excuse to open the floodgates. In the interest of generosity, I was willing to blame this entire exchange on exhaustion- much less my lack-of-a-reaction to it all, as my resolve buckled under the threat of any more tears.

“…I love you too.”

Replicating the immediacy of my own collapse, Eve’s emotions instantly changed for the better as she grinned at me before throwing herself into her pillow, dragging herself under the bed covers. “Goodnight!”

“What did you say?” Eva whispered to her sister, unhappy with being left out.

“Shh- sleep,” I quickly shut down the girl’s interrogation with a finger on my lips. Eva dropped the idea with a slight sulk.

“Okay. Goodnight.”

“‘Night, you two.”

And with that, the room grew quiet once more. Soft snoring provided the only background noise as I began to undress in preparation of receiving some hard-earned rest. A rest that I’d happily receive- provided that Twilight would stop staring.

“Don’t make this weird,” I admonished without even looking at the mare. I remained focused on removing my bottoms, choosing to keep on my shirt and underwear. While I was distracted with doing that, Twilight, feeling awkward, had climbed into a bed that she had silently moved a short distance away from the rest.

“Sorry,” she offered sheepishly. “I’ve just never seen you like that before.”

“Yeah, well, drink it in- it’s not getting any better than this.”

I raised my arms as I offered the mare a full view of my half-naked body, lifting my shirt slightly for a bit of extra spice. The gesture was meant to be sarcastic, yet it created an uncomfortable silence whilst I changed the position of my bed and climbed into it, trying not to think about what Twilight might do with her new-found insight.

“Hey,” I said in an attempt to break the silence. “Thank you for taking care of them by the way- they look like they’ve had a good time.” Even as the lights inside the room somehow dimmed, I could faintly see Eve’s sleeping form, sporting a contented smile as she slept.

“They weren’t having a lot of fun before. They’re a lot happier now that you’re back,” Twilight reasoned. It was difficult for me to discern the motivation behind her statement, as I lay back and stared at the ceiling.

“I’m sure you made them happier than you think. It’s nice that someone kept ‘em safe while I was gone.”

“…Are we even now?”

“I think I might owe you one, actually. I might even owe you two, you know- after everything that’s happened today.”

“So…I get a favour?”

“Don’t be weird about it.”

Silence followed my warning. Throughout it, I worried about the types of things that might flow through a mind like Twilight’s. I couldn’t imagine anything concrete- just vague concepts- but the unpredictability of it all worried me to no end.

“I’m sure that I can find something for you to do,” was Twilight’s eventual reply, much to my dismay. Keeping her cards close to her chest, she rolled over and lay with her back to the rest of the room, further increasing the ambiguity of her statement.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” I mumbled warily. The constant silence said far more than Twilight ever could, and, in all honesty, I welcomed an excuse to just give up and go to sleep. “I’ll leave you to your twisted fantasies, I think. I’m dying to go to sleep.”

“Goodnight!” Twilight replied with a sing-song intonation. Her pitch was high, and I could hear her roll over again as she finished her little singalong. Once again, it put me on edge, yet I had nothing left in the tank, so I let the implications pass me by.

“Night-night, Twilight.”

While David and the sisters slept, Twilight felt the buzz from the previous conversation drain from her mind, taking much of her enthusiasm with it. She felt as if she had discovered so much today yet learned so little as she sighed and sat up in her bed.

On the other side of the room lay three humans: three lives that relied on each other to function. She had seen that now; it was plain to see in how they had reacted when they were reunified. She thanked her lucky stars that she was able to witness it first-hand.

Yet she also cursed her misfortune in a way. Such a seemingly tightknit group offered little room for manoeuvre, particularly for an outsider such as herself. Maybe not impossible, though. Although he was reluctant to show it, witnessing a more tender side to David gave Twilight increased vigour going forward, but she still had her doubts with how willing he would be to expand his circle of trust.

“I’ll try,” she muttered to the darkness. “I will try.”

Chapter 14: A Date with Another Mare

The morning came quickly, with sunlight of increasing intensity beginning to filter into the castle library. As if she had risen in tandem with the sun, Twilight had long since been awake, cleaning herself and much of the room. She hummed softly as she worked, stacking cushions and cleaning away some of the bedding, which, in hindsight, she may have gone too far with. Although, if anything, her overcompensation the previous night gave her a way to pass the time whilst giving her three guests the opportunity to catch up on their sleep.

She looked over at David, who was still sleeping in the room’s centre. At some point during the night, he had been joined by his two ‘foals’, who had each found themselves a spot on his bed. Eva lay with her back to her guardian, having found herself wrapped between his arms, quietly snoring. To Twilight, the complete lack of concern or apprehension on the girl’s face made her look like she was the safest that she had ever been.

Eve reflected a similar carefree attitude, laying on her stomach just in front of her sister, her left arm draped over her sister’s head. A thin strand of saliva drooped from her mouth and led to a small puddle on the bedsheet. The raven-haired girl would occasionally twitch in her sleep, rubbing her body into the mattress and smudging the pool of liquid into her face.

Twilight giggled at the sight. She briefly considered lifting the girl’s face to clean it, but ultimately decided to just let her rest. The last thing she wanted at that point was to cause any unnecessary disruption.

That did not stop her from looking at the scene before her with confliction. Her mind thought back to the minute exchange she had had with herself the previous night, and she wondered if the one in front of her would eventually be able to open his heart to others or whether he would wish to return to his own kind. Either side could be justifiable, but she knew far too well that isolation was an easy trap to fall into- and much harder to crawl out of.

“Twilight…?”

Her train of thought was interrupted by someone else who needed her assistance. Her assistant, Spike, had woken up just as Twilight had done and was now stumbling around in search of the mare.

“In here, Spike!” Twilight called out to him. Sure enough, the little purple dragon soon appeared in the doorway. Miniature in size perhaps, but he did not let that stop him, with bright green eyes that sought the world out- provided that the world’s movement never outmanoeuvred his stumpy limbs.

“Oh, there you are, Twilight,” Spike called out before making his way over to the alicorn. He brushed at the green spines atop his head as he walked. “I was wondering where you were last night when you weren’t in your room. What are you doing down… what the heck is that?!”

Holding out his claw, he, of course, pointed out the strange creatures sleeping in the centre of the room. For a creature possessing such a sharp array of teeth, his words lacked any bite as he took in the much-larger-than-him human. It was a good thing that David was still asleep, or else Spike may have blown a gasket right then and there.

“Shh, Spike,” Twilight whispered to the dragon. “He’s still asleep.” She pointed to the man in question with a forehoof before bringing it back to shush at the dragon. Spike was untroubled by the gesture.

“But what is it?”

“He, Spike. He’s a ‘he’.”

“Sure, sure- ‘he’,” Spike responded. He looked back at the intruder before scratching at his chin in realisation. “Wait… is that the muman that you were talking about yesterday?”

“Human, Spike. He’s a ‘human’.”

“…He’s the pony you were so worried about?”

“Spike! Don’t say things like that- it’s disrespectful!”

“Okay, okay! Sorry,” the dragon consoled with his arms raised. “But who is this guy? Where did he come from?”

“That’s… a good question,” she answered without really answering at all. She thought about the best way to phrase a second attempt at answering the dragon’s questions, only for him to beat her to the punch.

“Wait- he’s got foals?!”

“They’re not his foals-”

“He stole somepony’s foals?!”

“Spike- listen!” Twilight shouted, growing more and more frustrated with each misinterpretation. “He’s from Princess Celestia-”

“He’s Princess Celestia’s foal?!”

“Spike-!”

Some form of inane shrilling signalled the end of my slumber. Opening my tired eyes, I was treated to the sight of Twilight appearing to have a schizophrenic episode. “Jesus, you’re shrill,” I plainly told her. Snapped from her apparent trance, the mare turned to meet me as I sat up amidst an avalanche of falling children. “Morning, Twilight. Who are you yelling a- what the hell is that?”

In a moment of confusion, I stretched out one of my arms and pointed down towards some little purple thing, who immediately ran to the safety of Twilight and stood behind her, sneaking occasional glances as the mare sought to defuse any possible tension. Fucking Short Round has joined the brawl.

“Oh, good morning, David!” Twilight greeted me, her cheeriness doing little to coax her little friend out from behind her. “Did you sleep well?” She stepped forward towards my bed, ignoring the thing’s attempts at pulling her back. “This is Spike. He’s my baby dragon.”

She used her magic to push ‘Spike’ out from behind her and into the open. This caused him to look back and glare at the mare before attempting to turn towards me, stopping halfway. With this, he crossed his arms and committed to looking off into nothing. “I’m not a baby anymore,” Spike muttered glumly, unwilling to meet the gaze of neither Twilight nor myself.

“Yeah, alright, half-pint,” I commented dismissively. Spike jumped upon hearing my voice and made an immediate retreat. “Didn’t know you were a parent, Twilight.”

“Oh no, I’m not his mom,” Twilight elaborated, undeterred by Spike’s backtracking. Once the dragon had nestled behind her once more, she continued. “I hatched his egg for one of Princess Celestia’s exams.”

“Celestia’s giving everyone kids nowadays,” I commented. I waited for a response but a confused look from Twilight forced me to think through the implications of what I’d said. “Not like that.”

My response garnered a giggle from Twilight. “No, you’re the only one,” she reassured me. “Spike’s pretty dependable, though he sometimes gets a little scared…” She lightly kicked out with one of her back legs to nudge the dragon away from her. This achieved nothing as Spike instantly disappeared back behind the mare, prompting a sigh to escape from Twilight’s lips.

“Listen, I’m gonna get these two cleaned up if that’s alright with you,” I interjected, having seen that Spike was both literally and figuratively going nowhere. “Might as well do it before they’re awake enough to question… this.” I gestured to where I assumed Spike was standing and moved to stand up, nudging Eve on the back and causing her to raise her head.

“Of course,” Twilight was happy to answer. “It’s just across the hall.”

“Alright, I’ll be back in a minute. Come on, you two- you desperately need a shower.”

I gave both sisters a light shove before looking down at them expectantly. Eva did what I expected her to do and reluctantly dropped down onto the floor and stood alongside me. Eve did not. Instead, with a raising of her arms, she repeated a familiar gesture.

“I’m not carrying you again,” I stated with a grin that I struggled to hide. To emphasise my point, I picked up the raven-haired girl only to place her straight back down next to her sister.

“I think you are,” Eve rebuked, doing several small jumps to show her enthusiasm.

“Maybe I’ll just carry Eva instead.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Well, she might ask me nicely.”

As I spoke, I winked at Eva to try and encourage her to play along. I wasn’t too confident- even as the girl’s eyes lit up in understanding. “Can you carry me too?” the little one thankfully asked as she mimicked her sister’s raising of her arms. I was admittedly a bit too delighted at her inclusion in the conversation, as I let my guard down badly when giving my answer.

“Of course, sweethea- wait, no-”

“-Aha!” Eve proclaimed, having caught on to my misstep. Victorious, she raised her arms and looked up at me expectantly once more. “Carry me.”

I couldn’t really argue with that; I knew when I’d been beaten. Being outsmarted by children… I was unsure if Eva’s smile implied that she had knowingly lured me into a trap, but, if I was honest, I found it difficult to imagine her having that level of critical thinking at such an age. Still, a deal was a deal.

“Y’know, I just… might!”

Over several attempts, I managed to eventually carry both sisters with only a moderate degree of difficulty. I was thankful that the distance to the bathroom was a short one.

“Ooh, how’s your arm?” Twilight suddenly asked enthusiastically. She pointed towards the limb in question, and I followed her gesture. Despite the lifting that I’d just done, I hadn’t even considered it; Twilight had done a good job with it.

“It feels great. Bit sore, but great. You’re a star, Twilight.”

A prominent blush found its way onto Twilight’s face and displayed everything you needed to know. It was a good thing it did; her mouth seemed incapable of doing anything coherent anytime soon. Instead, she shifted again in slight discomfort, but in a good way. If there was ever a ‘good uncomfortable’, this was it, and I was happy to let her bask in this afterglow. She’d earned it.

“Anyway, back in a minute,” I added to my earlier comment. Now, I was intent to leave Twilight alone for a moment while I went to take care of all the shower business, but the mare had other ideas. Her cloudy mind had noticed something and was planning to act- regardless of how unintelligible she may’ve sounded once she opened her mouth.

“Wait!” she shouted out at a volume far higher than was necessary. “Um…give me your clothes. I can…clean them for you.” She tried to speak through her blush, but she seemed to have reverted to the awkward mare that I’d assumed that we’d left behind.

“Uh… I’ll leave them outside the door.”

The muffled sound of running water provided Spike with the background noise he needed before he turned to Twilight with a smug expression.

“Geez, Twilight- why don’t you just ask him on a date already?”

Twilight jumped at Spike’s comment, whipping herself around to face the dragon with a look of exasperation.

“What do you mean?!”

“C’mon, Twilight- you were falling over yourself back there!”

That set Twilight off. Being called out on something, whether it was true or not, caused the mare’s composure to unravel in a way that was usually reserved for special occasions.

“Whaaat?” she started with an exaggerated casualness that even the blind could see right through. “I don’t like him- no, I like him, but I don’t like him. Besides, he’s a human. He wouldn’t be interested in me…b-but I’m not interested in…him.” Sensing her stumbles, she forced her mouth closed and hoped that she had not done too much damage.

“I don’t think you’ve ever had a coltfriend before, Twilight.”

It appeared that she had failed. Spike’s continued persistence increased Twilight’s concern- and her volume; the dragon began to wonder if the shower was louder enough to block out their conversation.

“I told you- it’s not like that! He’s not my coltfriend!”

“But you want him to be.”

“Nooooo…”

Twilight made an effort to drag out her response with a laidback swing of a foreleg. Her actions were just as helpless as her words, and Spike kept his smug smile and folded arms. He had seen some rom coms before; he knew what this meant. Probably.

“Sure took you long enough to find somepony.”

“Spike!”

It appeared that I’d interrupted a period of intense pondering once I- still clothed and covered in dirt- re-emerged from the bathroom. Twilight had had her eyes closed but she quickly opened them upon hearing my entry. Judging by the look on her face, her calmer demeanour had returned to her in the silence. Whatever conclusion she’d reached while I was gone, it seemed to have brought her a bit of peace.

“That made me so refreshed!” the voice of Eve called out from behind my back, breaking the silence with an injection of positivity.

“You’ll feel even better in some clean clothes,” I called back, looking over my shoulder and projecting my words back into the steam. I cocked my head to the side once my attention came back to Twilight, calling the mare forward to deliver on her offer.

“Ta-da!”

From behind Twilight’s back came the girls’ clothes- washed, dried, and folded with an expert level of care and attention. They landed in my hands with good grace like the gifts they were, with a satisfying bounce and a vague whiff of lavender.

“You’re on a roll now,” I commented before taking a sniff of his shirt. There was something so alluring about that scent. I could breathe it in for hours…

…Where was I?

Oh yeah: I couldn’t be bothered to check if Twilight’s cheeks could get any redder as I turned back to carry out my delivery. “There you go, you two- you know what to do.”

“Okay!”

Both sisters’ voices would occasionally ring out, but, despite spending much of the previous day with them, I could imagine that Twilight would struggle with deducing which voice belonged to whom.

“In the bathroom, though, yeah?”

“Of course. I like my piracy.”

“Privacy.”

“Nice word again.”

“…Just get changed, you.”

I ended this miniature exchange by creating a heart with my fingers in a motion that I hoped wouldn’t become a mainstay in my interactions. The bathroom door was then promptly shut in my face, leaving me to pollute the hallway with my odour. “I’ll clean myself up when they’re done,” I explained as I continued to take up space in the hallway.

“You can put your clothes on here,” Twilight suggested as she failed to share the girls’ need for piracy.

“No, I can’t,” I answered resoundingly to shut Twilight down, crossing my arms as I did so. There was no response to this, so we stayed locked in a period of uncertainty; no sound, no movement- just an overwhelming stink.

“…I’m gonna go make breakfast,” Spike stated, unwilling to witness anymore of this impasse. Where the hell did he come from? “Unless you want to wait for lunch,” he continued, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders and waiting for Twilight’s answer. But I beat her to the punch, as his suggestion brought a previous proposal to the front of my mind.

“Oh, yeah, that reminds me: I need to go find Rarity in a bit.”

Like Twilight before him, some random, innocuous statement ignited a fire of agitation in the young dragon. Completely forgetting about his earlier fears, he stepped towards me as if I was some sort of challenge, tensing his arms with a huff. He stopped very quickly once the difference in height became much more apparent, but that didn’t stop him from throwing out an accusatory question: “What are you doing with Rarity?”

“Don’t give me that look, mate- it’s not like that.”

I crouched down to close the distance between myself and the dragon, watching him flinch slightly at my movements. But he didn’t let that stop him. “Let me tell you something,” Spike started with a voice that was much larger than he was. “Don’t even try anything with Rarity ‘cause she’s my mare!”

He surely would’ve liked to have pulled me closer to reaffirm his attempted threat, but his short height prevented him from reaching anything worth grabbing onto. This, combined with…lots of things, made the dragon’s little speech very ignorable.

Maybe Spike was looking for some sort of reaction- an argument, an apology, anything really- so he was surely left disappointed as I merely shook my head and stood back up. I was growing a bit impatient with how long the girls were taking, so I cracked open the bathroom door just enough to be able to project my voice into the room.

“Are you two done yet?”

“Nearly there!”

“You can’t rush this, Mr. Bayard!”

“Well, hurry up!”

And the door was closed once more. Sighing, I turned back to Spike who was still making a show of his aggression. I didn’t have time for this. “Yeah, sure- do what you like. Why don’t you ask her on a date or summat?”

My tone was deadpan and cynical, just how I like it, but it seemed to anger Spike due to some perceived disrespect. Although it may’ve been fun to do so, I had little interest in escalating the situation, however; even though I couldn’t actually see her at that moment, I was sure that Twilight was moments away from intervening. “She’s mine- and don’t you forget that!” was Spike’s answer to the entire situation.

He pointed a claw at me one final time before storming off down the hallway to presumably where the kitchen was. “I don’t think that’s his decision to make,” I suggested to Twilight once Spike had disappeared around the corner. Poor little bugger; such a possessive nature won’t do him much good.

“Probably not,” Twilight calmly agreed as she moved to stand beside me. “He’s still a baby- he’ll be heartbroken when Rarity finds herself a stallion.” Her demeanour changed as she lowered her head slightly, presumably lost in her thoughts once again. I gave her a moment before commenting again.

“Still… him, Blueblood… at this rate, everybody’ll be after that mare…”

“We’re ready now,” came from behind the bathroom door as it was slowly opened. Out stepped the two sisters, ignorant of the conversation that they’d interrupted. Either way, they were squeaky clean and well-dressed, and I felt a little bit better just looking at them. Satisfied with the girls’ collective condition, I set off for the bathroom, only to be interrupted by a question from Twilight.

“Are you staying for breakfast?”

Spike may’ve been bitter, but he was a good cook. Good thing, too, as neither I nor the two sisters had eaten a decent meal in a while. It was with regret, then, that I’d needed to tear myself away in order to find Rarity.

Twilight was oh, so generous to keep the girls behind so that I could have a more peaceful time. Eva had been against it, of course, but, after some reassurance, she took my departure much better than she had the last time I’d left.

Regardless, my heart was barely in it- my stomach even less so; I only wanted stay at the castle. But I couldn’t mope around too much: Rarity had technically got me out of a fairly dire situation, albeit entirely without her knowledge. And I’d never just refuse to show up to lunch; I still wasn’t sure of what these ponies were capable of.

It was with this sense of reluctance that I arrived at Carousel Boutique before knocking on the door and waiting for the mare’s response. I received none, as a piece of paper stuck to one of the boutique’s windows was quick to explain.

Off to the spa and then to lunch. Will be back in the afternoon.

Fantastic. Guess I was going off on a scavenger hunt.

Asking for directions was painful. I was never one to ask for help, even back when everyone in the world looked somewhat similar to me, so I struggled through the stares and the questions of “Aren’t you that [insert word that sounds vaguely like ‘human’]?” in order to find out where the accursed spa was located- provided Rarity was still there.

Still, I’d found it. Across a dainty bridge lay a building that looked like a large tent in the sense that the roof flowed at different elevations with peaks and dips as if it was all made a soft cloth. I’d grown to appreciate the ways in which structures either appeared to be needlessly extravagant or designed in such an unspectacular way that all the effort must have gone in distorting the laws of physics rather than actually designing the thing.

That didn’t matter right now, though. With every step, I felt my desire to abandon having lunch increase to the point where I could barely be bothered to go anywhere near the spa’s front door. I would’ve thought that Rarity would have it in her to remember the arrangement; the possibility that she’d forgotten all about it put my commitment on a knife edge.

But then out came the unicorn that I’d been looking for. Looking just as elegant as she had the day that I’d met her, she trotted towards me with a slight hurry to her movements. She sported a large smile once she found me, showing off a nonchalant enthusiasm that she had no trouble projecting.

Such as to the pony who accompanied her. I had no idea who she was, but I assumed that she and Rarity were together. Her features weren’t too dissimilar to Rarity’s with a coat of only one colour and a large, swooping mane and tail that curled slightly at their respective tips. The colours of which set the duo apart, with this new mare sporting pale, mellow shades of yellow and pink on her fur and mane respectively.

She didn’t look to have the same overt confidence that Rarity possessed, but she showed a great deal of grace in her movements- or at least great care. In fact, the overly cautious way that she walked and her more confined body language served to make her appear more elegant than her friend.

This new mare looked somewhat surprised upon seeing me, but no more than that. Her reaction was- if anything- slightly underwhelming when compared to the other ponies I’d passed. If those two were together, Rarity must’ve told her friend about who I was, or else the unicorn really did forget about our lunch.

“Good morning, David,” Rarity greeted me with a hint of confusion in her voice. “Fancy seeing you at the spa. You don’t strike me as the type to need a hooficure.” She stopped just in front of me with the mare from earlier very much in tow.

“Morning, Rari- wait… ‘morning’?”

I looked down at Rarity with clear confusion on my face. The mare snickered in amusement.

“Confused about something? Yes- the morning, although maybe too late for breakfast. But we agreed on lunch, did we not?”

“We did, but the clock in the square says it’s about one o’clock.”

“Oh, that clock hasn’t worked since last year’s Winter Wrap-up. Even then it was never the most accurate.”

“Um… excuse me,” our mellowed friend spoke up with a voice as cautious as her hoofsteps. “But I think the time is 10:30.” She shook her head once so that her mane fell in front of her left eye, limiting the extent to which I could view the blue orbs that rested within. Her eyes- or eye, I suppose- showed concern, yet also a determination; maybe speaking up was difficult for her.

“Only half 10? What time does Twilight wake up?” I wondered to myself; Rarity cocked her head to the side.

“You spent the night with Twilight?” the unicorn asked, her voice showing amusement more than shock. “She’s grown very bold lately, inviting a stallion back for a night of goodness-knows-what. Would she be happy that you’re on a date with another mare?”

“No! No, no, no!” I responded in a hurried panic. “No, I was… my foals- children…shit.” I struggled to get my words out as the implications of what Rarity had said dawned on me with increasing severity. Pony relationships…

A hearty laugh brought me back to reality. In front of me, Rarity threw her head back and pointed at me with glee. “There’s no need to look like that! I’m only pulling your leg, as it were. I’m sure that you have your reasons.”

Rarity’s laughter did little to prevent the blush that had found a place throughout my cheeks. Such a level of redness was impossible not to feel- or ignore, as the mare very quickly dropped the humour. “My, I didn’t expect you to get so worked up about something like that,” she commented with a slightly disappointed tone.

“I dunno. I, um… it’s just something that’s quite hard to think about,” I responded before shaking my head. “Not like that- I’m sure she’s a lovely girl, but…” I trailed off and gestured erratically with my hands in the hopes that some greater meaning could be inferred from their nonsensical movements.

Rarity’s friend giggled in response to this. She covered her mouth with her hoof as she did so, yet she made enough noise to remind me of her presence. “Sorry, love- I haven’t asked your name yet,” I quickly added, gesturing for the mare to introduce herself which, arguably, she did.

“I’m Fluttershy,” she whispered. I think. With a volume like that, it was difficult for me to know exactly what she’d said, so I looked to Rarity for some help.

“Fluttershy,” Rarity reaffirmed.

“Fluttershy,” I repeated.

“Yes. I’m Fluttershy.”

A mare of few words, I see. I’m sure somebody out there would find this adorable. “It’s a pleasure, Fluttershy,” I said to the mare, who’d retreated back behind her mane. She looked as if she wanted to disappear, so I let her be and turned back to Rarity. “Is she coming with us?”

“I don’t see why not,” Rarity proudly proclaimed, turning to Fluttershy. She faced her friend expectantly, who looked back with cautious optimism.

“Oh no- if you two have plans…” Fluttershy started before by cut off by her friend.

“Nonsense, Fluttershy! You know how much I enjoy a good lunch with friends.”

“Are you sure?” Fluttershy insisted, taking a step back. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt…” She lowered herself closer to the floor, following a likely routine of making herself appear smaller. This idea of routine was reinforced when Rarity carried what looked to be a well-versed practice of approaching her friend and draping a forehoof over her back.

“You never interrupt,” Rarity reassured Fluttershy, her voice barely louder than her friend’s previous whisper. The unicorn pulled her companion in for a hug, keeping her there for as long as it took for her to make a decision.

Where did this come from? What happened to lunch? Can I go home now?

“Sometimes it’s better to interrupt,” I added as I interrupted the huddle in front of me. Once my voice reached their ears, both Rarity and Fluttershy turned towards me, looking more upbeat than they had before. Fucking…I don’t know.

“Sure. I’d love to join you.”

It had been a while since I’d been forced to travel through the centre of Ponyville. The stares and the increased noise did a lot to keep me away, yet Rarity had chosen a place to eat that ever-so coincidentally lay smack-bang in the centre. I just had to bear it- just this once.

I hoped- maybe beyond the realms of logic- that I’d grow numb to the constant chatter and gossip, or that it would simply cease entirely, but, until then, I continued to be plagued by it as it lingered in the air and threatened to suffocate me. In the midst of my discomfort, Twilight’s castle loomed large in the distance, mocking me with its unreachable offer of safety.

I’d ordered…something- something that seemed edible amidst the flowers and similar ‘delicacies’ that littered the restaurant menu. The journey to the spa hadn’t changed my hunger after the generous breakfast from Twilight’s castle, so I preferred not to order anything expensive. Still, looking at the menu brought fresh concerns about how my dietary needs were going to be met in a world that seemed strictly vegetarian at best.

There was little else to focus on, as Rarity and Fluttershy had entered themselves into a conversation that I surely wouldn’t be able to fit into. Believe me, I’d tried to eavesdrop with the hope of contributing, yet I was held back by the conversation’s constant flow of vocabulary that I didn’t fully understand. With every minute and every new discussion, the castle seemed further and further away.

“…Are you okay? You seem…unenthused.”

Rarity must’ve noticed my absence, as she had called out to me while I was engaged in my mournful monologue. I only caught the second half of her question, yet the way that her and Fluttershy’s conversation had stopped must’ve meant that I was about thrust into the limelight.

“Hmm? Sorry, was that for me?”

“Of course, Darling. Is something the matter?”

“I don’t know,” I answered, rubbing my eyes. “I’ve just got other things on my mind.”

“Your foals,” Rarity stated. Whether she was trying to find the reason for my mental absence or merely bringing up a new topic was anyone’s guess. “I’m surprised that they aren’t with you.” Next to her, Fluttershy perked her ears; I wasn’t sure if the pegasus was interested in what I had to say before Rarity’s comment, but she certainly was now.

“Part of me feels bad for not being with them right now. I disappeared for a few days and now I’m off again, if only for the afternoon. I feel a bit bad about it,” I tried to explain, but my justification was surface level and told unenthusiastically; It would’ve been easier if I had nothing else to say.

“What are their names?” Fluttershy asked to try to coax me back. “Your foals.” The pegasus’ eyes glimmered brightly as she waited for an answer with unreasonable expectations and bated breath.

“Eve and Eva,” I stated simply in reply. Despite my continued reluctance, I felt myself being slowly dragged into the conversation as Fluttershy showed enough interest for the two of us.

“They’re lovely names,” she continued. “I love when parents give their foals similar names.”

“No, I didn’t…” I started before trailing off with a sigh. I looked down at the floor as my mind entered a bout of confliction.

“What’s wrong?”

“…It’s hard to explain and I’m sick of explaining it.”

“They’re not his foals,” Rarity elaborated, taking me by surprise. How someone could say something so…illegal with such ease was beyond me. With that said, her questionable interjection startled me back to life somewhat, as I felt legally obligated to further explain.

“I don’t know whose foals- uh, children they are,” I continued to explain. “At least, not fully. I’m just their teacher.” I held my hands up defensively in the hopes that Fluttershy would be okay with how dreadfully my backstory was being explained.

“I see,” the pegasus commented, placing a forehoof on her cheek and looking down at the table. She thought for a moment, furrowing her brow as she thought of what to say. “But you care for them, don’t you?”

“Yeah…?”

“You want them to be safe and happy?”

“Of course.”

“Then maybe they can be your foals.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Maybe…even if they’re not your ‘children’…they could be your foals?”

The combined stares of Rarity and myself caused Flutttershy to lose confidence in her assertion, retreating back behind her mane. Maybe she should’ve expected to receive such a look after making such a bold statement, but the pegasus was paying for her lack of preparation as she looked to Rarity for support.

“…I believe she’s saying that, although you may not be their parent, you may have to become one for the time being. You may need to ‘step up’, as it were,” Rarity clarified on her friend’s behalf. “Best of a bad situation, and whatnot.”

I thought about this- about what Fluttershy had said- and its implications on whatever my role was supposed to be in Equestria. I’d praise the mare for her idealism, but I struggled to see a scenario when that’d be even remotely acceptable- I’m not their dad.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Fluttershy.”

Fearing that the timid pegasus would collapse in on herself if she received too harsh a criticism, I tried to keep my tone calm and soft as I delivered an ambiguous rebuttal.

“I agree that it may be a bit of a stretch,” Rarity began, hopefully sharing my sentiment. “But Fluttershy’s heart is in the right place. There’s no better pony in Ponyville when it comes to taking care of others.” The unicorn’s little speech was more likely aimed at giving Fluttershy some confidence than granting me any reassurance, so I glumly returned my gaze to the floor. The dirt below me continued to receive a series of filthy looks as my mind whirred away, conducting various worst-case scenarios.

The smell of food brought me back; whatever I’d ordered certainly smelled decent enough. Fluttershy’s meal had also arrived and she, sensing my continued scepticism, offered me one final suggestion before tucking into her lunch.

“It’s just something to think about.”

The rest of the lunch passed by with little fanfare. Fluttershy’s occasional apologies broke up an otherwise meandering chat that I did well to cling onto. Simple discussions over Canterlot, vacation spots and other miscellaneous topics did little to capture my attention.

This level of disinterest carried on up until I was finally able to break away, albeit on good terms. Rarity and Fluttershy both appeared to have enjoyed themselves- although my presence likely had little to do with that. We’d exchanged pleasantries and agreed to meet up again, which was at least something, I suppose.

No level of mutual agreement would’ve been able to stop me from all-but sprinting back to Twilight’s castle. I’d had enough, and I wanted to be anywhere else- in some form of normality. But as I got closer to Twilight’s castle, the mere sight of it reminded me that normality was nowhere to be found. I banged on the castle’s door and tapped my fingers on its surface as I waited for a response. God knows how long I waited there before the door flung itself open.

“Oh, David!” Twilight exclaimed in surprise. “You’re back early.” She threw open the door with her magic and looked up at me with a pleasant smile. That little smile. Without a word, I slinked into the space that the alicorn had left behind, moving past her before stopping a few feet behind her.

Without warning, I grabbed Twilight from behind and pulled her up into a strong hug. Spun around, the mare squeaked and fumbled with her forehooves until she hooked herself around my shoulders. “You were only gone a few hours,” she commented, sounding slightly breathless. “Did something happen at Lunch?”

A rustling signalled that the mare’s wings were fighting to extend themselves, likely an instinct to give her more control as her rear legs dangled inches from the floor. I assumed, at least; I wasn’t really paying attention to anything. I simply stood with my eyes closed, listening to my own heavy, deliberate breaths.

“It reminded me of where I wanted to be,” I softly explained, perhaps caught up in the moment. With this explanation, I dropped Twilight back down onto her hooves and watched her recover from the sudden embrace. “Sorry, I’m not normally like this. I’m just having a moment,” I added as Twilight ran a hoof through her hair.

“No, no- don’t be sorry,” she reassured me. “Equestria must be getting to your head. I doubt it’s easy to travel to a different world.” She banged a forehoof against her forehead to illustrate her point, hoping to elevate the mood.

“Mr. Bayard!” came a familiar interruption, this time with a happier intonation. Looking towards the voice’s source, I saw Eve running towards me at a breakneck pace before leaping into me. With everything that’d happened already, I didn’t really know what to say to her, but no worries: she quickly broke off again and tore back to whence she came, shouting out her sister’s name.

And so, Eva arrived. With a similar level of pace, she replicated her sister’s actions and clung onto me, glancing and jumping up at me as she wriggled with excitement. I pushed her into my side with an arm, doing the same with Eve once she came to join her sister again.

“I was only gone a few hours,” I commented, seeing Twilight smile in the corner of my vision. Eva hummed happily in response, standing on her tiptoes to push herself higher into my reach. Still sporting a smile, Twilight stepped towards my little huddle.

“Got anything else to do today?” she asked with a cheerful tone. The optimism in the room was infectious, as every second felt like another exhale through tired lungs.

“There isn’t much to do, to be honest,” I answered plainly with an attempt at a shrug. Admittedly, this was unsuccessful as the two sisters continued to lay waste to my arms. “I guess I get a day off.”

“Is any day a day off with these two?”

Twilight’s question was playful in nature, but it caused me to look down at my company, my vision immediately filling with the two sisters in a scene of comfort. I ruffled Eva’s hair, who was so blissfully unaware in her contentedness that she may as well have been asleep. Eve wasn’t quite as content as her sister, always looking as if she had something to say. Yet, she continued to look up at me with eyes that were, if anything, slightly misty.

“I have high hopes.”

The events of the morning, or more likely the past week in general, had left me in a rather sentimental state. I feel like I’ve said this before, albeit with slightly different phrasing. I gave Eva an experimental push to see if she was ready to let me go, only to be met by fierce, stubborn resistance. “Thanks for the bed, by the way,” I added, looking back up at Twilight. “We really needed that. I, uh…I don’t really know how I can thank you, to be honest.”

“You don’t need to thank me; my castle’s open any time. For you and your foals,” Twilight continued to reassure me. After this comment, she showed a degree of mental absence, looking at my little huddle for a while before quickly being brought back by my attempt at continuing the conversation.

“Well, we’ll likely head back to Canterlot in the evening. All our stuff’s there, so it makes sense. Plus, I don’t want to saddle you with this lot,” I commented, patting Eva on the back as she showed a continued desire to cling onto me for dear life. Despite how comforting the gesture was, her insistence was becoming a bit much, so I was relieved to see Eve move about in agitation.

“We were very well behaved,” the little one protested, her voice calm yet playful. She placed her hands on her hips and moved towards Twilight, who followed the girl’s movements with her eyes as she approached.

“Easy for you to say,” I fired back. “What about the little guy… actually- Spike!”

“What?!” called the titular dragon from deeper in the castle.

“I’m not after your girl!”

“Awesome!”

“We’re affable,” I commented with another attempt at a shrug. Twilight smacked a forehoof against her face in response.

“You don’t have to be so loud…” Eve mentioned with her hands over her ears. The girl continued to wander over to Twilight, who giggled softly in response.

“Actually, Spike could maybe use a male role model around here,” the mare added hopefully. “You’ve probably noticed that there are a lot more mares than stallions.”

Her comment reminded me of the observation that I made during my first night in Canterlot, when looking down at the streets below. I’d noticed the disparity between the number of mares and stallions, but I hadn’t thought about it since. “I’ll…” I started, still reluctant. “Well, I guess it’s not up to me, anyway. If the princess needs me up there, then my hands are tied.”

“I guess so…” Twilight conceded. “But if she doesn’t…”

“I’m not sure if I like that grin…”

“…You leave it with me, young one.”

“Don’t you start with that as well.”

Twilight’s deviancy made me nervous- I’d come to expect bad things whenever ‘young one’ was uttered, no matter whose mouth it came from. This worry continued to grow as Twilight looked off to the side with an almost manic grin on her face as she rubbed her forehooves together. “Just leave it to me.”

Even as Twilight finished her ominous proposal, an increasing discomfort urged me to grip Eva more tightly, pushing her further into my side. Ironically, the increase in pressure caused the girl to dislodge. This movement normally meant that she had something to say, but, following a usual tradition, Eve beat her to the punch.

“Can you come see my picture? We finished it now.”

The second floor of the castle was much like the first, albeit much barer. Not that I minded; I wouldn’t’ve been unable to fill up the space even if I tried. But in this hallway devoid of decoration, the door to whichever room the girls had been using for their drawing was clearly marked with one of the girls’ bags and a selection of crayons.

“So, what’s your drawing about?” I asked as part of idle chit-chat as I reached for the door handle.

“Not yet,” Eve announced as she moved to stand in front of the door, arms stretched to cover its width. “It’s not ready.” From the look on her face, she clearly meant it, and I knew better than to argue with a child over something like this anyway, so I saved my breath.

Eva snuck underneath the arm-turned-barrier before disappearing from sight. Soon after, Eve, giving one last glance, followed her sister inside, closing the door firmly behind her. I shot Twilight a look, who returned in kind with a knowing smile that suggested that we were on the same wavelength.

The two of us waited for a moment- maybe a while, actually. Muffled movements and raised voices hinted at an intense level of preparation before suddenly ceasing. “We’re ready now,” was heard from behind the door as it opened. Seeing no resistance, Twilight and I stepped inside, into the girls’ lair of crayon-infused carnage.

A crudely drawn tapestry filled with drawings that barely resembled anything spanned the width of the room. On it, a symphony of bright colours and stick figures did its best to portray a series of events that would take some explaining. Obviously pleased with their work, the two sisters looked up at me expectantly.

“You’ve made yourselves busy,” I observed as the lower half of my vision was consumed with expectant smiles. “Talk me through it- what have you drawn?” I gestured for the girls to explain their artwork which they took advantage of, dragging me by the arm to where their tale seemingly began.

“That’s us at school doing show and tell, like we used to. And then we made gingerbread men- I liked making gingerbread men. Can we make gingerbread men again? Because…”

Eve did the narrating, swiftly looking between me and the drawing whilst going off on various tangents. It was all fairly unexceptional, as well as difficult to keep track of, but I was still more than happy to hear what she had to say. She was so proud.

“…And then you went away…”

She skipped over that part; a dourer tone suggested that this was on purpose. In a more subdued way, she went through a set of drawings that showed some of the events that had happened since our arrival in Equestria.

“Is that…”

“That’s where you went away again…But you were in my dreams!”

“Me too!”

The girls’ drawings became increasingly detailed, with an impressive level of shading for a pair of four-year-olds. The girls must’ve been very aware of the contents of their dreams; a large section of the drawing showed just that. At least, I assumed so. The backgrounds looked consistent with my memory, but the contents in the foreground made little sense to me.

“Do you remember what you dreamed about?”

“I remember that you were there. And Eva too!”

Given what I could remember, I thought it’d be better if I didn’t probe; I trusted that Eve would talk to me about it when she was ready.

“What’s this bit?”

“That’s you beating monsters. That’s what the big one said you were doing.”

“The big one?”

“The big one.”

I probably knew who Eve was talking about and I’d surely need to try that nickname when I next saw Celestia. She was the biggest one, after all. As I chuckled to myself, Twilight kept her mouth closed, sitting on the floor with a blank expression on her face. “And then the last bit…” I prompted.

“That’s us at school again,” Eve answered happily. She spent a while looking at the drawing, getting lost in its contents.

“Looks like you’ve got Mrs. Stuart there as well.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Having reached the last panel, and with Eve somewhat distracted, I stood up and dusted myself down. As I bent down to do this, part of the scroll was shoved into my face.

“For you,” Eva explained, refusing to make eye contact with me. Even if I wanted to capture her gaze, I knew that the little girl would turn her head further away or simply close her eyes altogether. It was strange for her to be so averse with someone that she trusted; she looked scared-to-death.

“You didn’t have trouble bringing me stuff before, sweetheart,” I tried to reassure her, unfortunately to no avail. I took the scroll from the girl’s hands and made an exaggerated show of scanning it. “It’ll be a bit of a faff bringing this on the train…” I led the girl on, enjoying the sight of her incredibly frequent nervous glances. “…But It’d be a shame to leave something as good as this to collect dust.”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s wonderful. We’ll have to hang it up on the wall when we get back.”

“Really?!”

“You’ll have to help me, though.”

“Thank you!”

I felt the girl fall into me again; through its repetition, the action had lost much of its meaning, but the warmth stayed the same. Once she was through with that, she continued the process of handing me the rest of the scroll, which I allowed to pool in my lap. “Okay, let’s see…how are we gonna pick this up…?”

“Let me help you,” Twilight offered as she raised the scroll away from my lap. As expected, she began to roll it up with an expert level of care before gently placing it into one of the girl’s bags.

“Oh, you’re back from the dead,” I noted as I relinquished control.

“Oh, hush,” Twilight retaliated. It was still impressive how she managed to speak with me and fold a piece of paper on the far side of the room simultaneously. Once she’d finished with the scroll, she bumped herself against my side like the cheeky bastard she was. “I was thinking.”

“What about?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

She shut me down quite quickly with a shake of the head. She turned to look out of one of the windows, observing the setting sun. “You might need to head back soon. The trains don’t come as often at night.”

Now that was surprising. Yeah, my day had felt relatively busy today, but I hadn’t even realised- or expected- that sundown had approached us so quickly. Maybe it was earlier in the year than I thought. Or did time move differently? Is the concept of time going to become a major plot point? I hope not. Way too complicated.

“Kicking us out already?” I retorted as I moved to join Twilight at the window. I placed a hand on the mare’s head and softly ruffled her mane. A contented sigh escaped from her mouth as her body relaxed before glancing up at me.

“It was your idea to go.”

“I’m just playing with you- it is quite late now,” I conceded, releasing my hand from Twilight’s head. “And you’re yawning,” I continued as I pointed at Eve, who forced her mouth to close in a suppression of what was left of her yawn. She kept a straight face, even as her cheeks puffed out in defiance. I guess it was quite late, then.

Therefore, despite the novelty, the girl’s yawn was just one of many signs that the day may well have been up. So, stating, “Go and get your stuff, girls- we’re going.”, I helped the two sisters grab their things and head for the door, motioning for Twilight to follow.

As we made our way down the stairs and to the door, I dragged my finger along the castle walls. The action left a slight tingling on my fingertips that lingered long after I removed myself from the wall’s surface. It was such an enjoyable activity, that I continued to do it up until the walls ran out. Eventually, with nowhere else to go, my finger collided with Twilight’s horn as she stood by the door, and its impact did far more to startle me than it did for her. Only for a moment, though.

“Thanks again, Twilight,” I remarked as the little ones and I stood at the door to the mare’s castle. Much like the previous evening, the air was still with a slight breeze that allowed the girls’ hair to flutter slightly in the wind.

“You’re very welcome,” Twilight beamed. “Don’t think that it’s a burden on me; I’ve loved your company.” She waved us off with enthusiasm, and, truth be told, I was somewhat conflicted as I left: I needed a break from these ponies, if only for a few hours, but Twilight’s alright. It’s nice to have found some good people.

As Twilight had alluded, the train journey was a quiet one; Eva had already submitted to the call of sleep and her sister wasn’t too far behind. The raven-haired girl pressed her face into the train window with a little bit too much force than was necessary to try and keep herself awake.

“Come here,” I prompted. “You can fall asleep if you want to.” I lifted my arm as I spoke, revealing a place for the girl to slide into once she’d had enough of fighting herself.

“No,” Eve fought back. “I wanna stay awake.” Naturally, she still decided to press against me, likely the kiss of death to her attempts at staying awake.

“You’re gonna lose,” I half-taunted as I rubbed the girl’s arm.

“Maybe…” she relented as I could hear her breathing deepen. “But I wanna try.” Once she had lodged herself in a comfortable spot, she began her ongoing war against herself, her eyes fluttering periodically as she continued to resist her body’s demands. I had to give the girl credit- she was certainly trying.

“Is Twilight your girlfriend?” Eve managed to ask as her eyelids grew ever heavier. I repeated the action of rubbing her arm as I delivered a simple reply, not too surprised by her question.

“No, she’s just a friend.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m very sure. There’s a big ol’ difference between flirting and friendliness.”

Eve would likely have probed further, but a gentle snoring signalled that her body had finally beaten her. I offered a meaningless, “Come here, you,” to the sleeping girl as her body gratefully accepted the extra support.

The sleepy train car offered a familiar scene, as I began to think familiar, melancholy thoughts. Again, the people who I’d left behind were brought to the front of my mind- but instead of sadness, they brought a sense of determination. A call to arms, perhaps.

I’d gotten a taste of life here, after all- both good and bad. Still, this little excursion didn’t seem to have offered me any clues as to how I could get home. I clutched at the sleeping child at my side as I stared at the train’s ceiling with a frown. “I’m gonna need Twilight again,” I concluded. “She might have a clue.”

The walk back from the station was as wordless as it was uneventful. There was minimal resistance from either sister as I managed to carry them back to the castle. I’d never felt so excited to return to a bed that wasn’t even mine to begin with.

Inside my room, a large sack packed with coins caught my attention instantly, although I knew that it would have to wait until morning. After all, my arms were getting tired, and the day was only getting later. “Hey, we’re back,” I whispered to the girls as I put them down on their bed. They were largely unresponsive, so I gave them a poke until their eyes opened. “Oi, do you want to get changed or are you happy as you are?”

“I want my pyjamas,” Eve grumbled as she rubbed her eyes. A large pout and withered eyes suggested that she’d truly had enough. I moved away towards the large pile of clothes that Rarity had made for us and began to inspect them.

“I don’t think we have any, I’m afraid. I think… a light dress will probably be the closest. Eva, go with your sister- and take a dress with you so you can get changed.”

Whilst the two sisters disappeared into the bathroom, I rooted through their bags in a long-overdue inspection. There was little to be found aside from colouring books and a half-empty lunchbox. “They might have less than I do.”

I could take a guess as to where most of my money was going to go, as I threw the lunchbox to the far side of the room. I had no idea how the girls had kept themselves busy in my absence, but it surely wasn’t going to last.

The sound of the bathroom door swinging open brought me back to the present. “We’re back,” Eve declared, moving back to her bed and pulling herself onto it alongside her sister. “Can you tuck me in?”

“Come on, then,” I whispered to the pair. I grabbed the bed covers and got to work. A couple of hugs later, the two were wrapped up and ready to drift off. Another day ended- hopefully with the promise of a better one tomorrow.

“Goodnight, Mr. Bayard.”

“‘Night, sweetheart. Sorry we never made it to show-and-tell.”

“That’s okay- we’ll just go next week.”

“Yeah…there’s always next week…”

Author's Note

Hello there fellow reader, should you choose to get this far.

I've never made one of these before so I don't really know what to put here except for a thank you for getting this far. I've kinda just been throwing these chapters around from time to time and it's been nice.

So, yeah. Cheers.

I can't even remember if I edited this...

Chapter 15: Melancholy Attachment

I was never a practical man. My hands regularly failed me whenever I was required to roll my sleeves up and put something together. The only saving grace in those situations was that I was usually fortunate enough to be able to keep my failure to myself.

“You bastard…”

Yet this was no longer the case. As I stood, perched up on a chair, my feeble attempt at hanging up the girls’ drawing was on full display. I’d underestimated its size- and overestimated my ability to see in straight lines, as my antics drew the attention of two children who likely would be better suited for this job than I was.

“Are you okay, Mr. Bayard?” called one.

“Let me help,” called the other.

Sadly, even with our powers combined, the scroll remained unfastened and unfulfilled as it dropped down to the floor for the final time. “That was a health and safety nightmare,” I conceded as I fought off the urge to kick the bloody thing. “Sorry, girls- We’ll have to ask someone to help us.” Turning to face the pair, I watched uneasily as they jumped from their perch, the chair beneath them bouncing worryingly as they leaped from it.

Despite the sourness of this event, this new day had been an enjoyable one so far. My schedule was empty for once, so I was finally allowed to spend some time with the people that I was supposed to be stranded here with. For now, at least. Celestia had asked to have a chat a bit later in the day- something troubling, no doubt- but at last I was given a moment to let loose and hit the town. Just as soon as this banner was dealt with.

“Tell you what, you two,” I began, capturing the two girls’ attention. “Let’s have a look around town and see if we can find something that might help us. I mean, I got paid this week, so…” I shuffled towards my pouch of coins and juggled it in my hands for emphasis. It was funny- I was actually due to get paid on Friday back home.

This suggestion proved to be a good one, as Eve stopped and stared up at me, eyes sparkling so brightly that if we knocked the lights out, she could surely glow in the dark. Eva was unable to show quite the same level of excitement, but it was clear as she rushed to put her shoes on that she was similarly eager to leave the confines of the castle.

Eve eventually snapped out of her trance as well, after her sister’s movement caught her eye. “Where are we going?” she asked as she also prepared herself for the day ahead. Instincts ever-alive, she grabbed her and her sister’s belongings before mindlessly throwing them into the doorway.

“Erm…”

Unbothered by the chaos outside of my vision, I continued to jostle the bag of bits while thinking of an idea. “Let’s just go explore. It’s a lovely day. It’s hot out, though; let’s make sure to pack some water.”

During the cold winter months back home, I’d longed for spring to roll through and bring its warmer temperatures, but my desire for hotter days appeared to have been something of a monkey’s paw. The abrupt transition from winter to…whatever season we were in at this point became more apparent with every step.

“I swear the desert was easier than this,” I mumbled to myself as I enviously looked on at the two girls in front of me, who moved as if they were in a completely different climate.

Undeterred and invincible, Eve and Eva ran ahead with joyful enthusiasm, looking back every now and then to check that I was still in tow. “Come on, Mr. Bayard!” Eve shouted, running back to me and dragging me by the arm.

“You don’t even know where you’re going,” I retorted, my comment doing little to dissuade the ball of energy who clung to me. “I think you just like being outside.” Taking advantage of Eve’s grip on my arm, I wrenched it up into the air with the girl still attached, who squealed in surprise as her feet left the ground. The sudden noise drew the ire of some ponies around us, but Eve’s laughter signalled that she was unaffected by the stares. That made one of us.

Once she was lowered back to the ground- and denied the opportunity to go up in the air again- she asked, “Where are we going?” once again, adding to the numerous times that that question had spilled from her lips on the way out of the castle. Despite how many times I’d been interrogated, I lacked an answer, as I scanned the buildings around me for inspiration.

“I don’t suppose an art museum piques your interest?” I asked hopelessly to the two sisters, who stared back at me blankly. “…Yeah, me neither.” My half-hearted brainstorming was thankfully brought to a close by Eva, who tugged lightly on my shirt and waited for me to reward her enthusiasm.

“Bowling,” was the only word she said as she led Eve and I around a corner and pointed up at a building some distance away. Some blue, white, and pink block of nothing, the building in question was decorated with large cutouts of bowling pins that told me everything I needed to know. Large panes of glass offered passers-by a clear view of the activities available inside. Hopefully air-conditioned activities.

“Hmm… ‘Strikedown’? Must be pretty hardcore,” I wondered aloud as I read the building’s name before turning my attention back to Eva. “You ever been, sweetheart?” The little girl responded with a simple shake of the head, her auburn hair flapping messily as she gave her answer. Eve also tried to respond by running towards the building in question, but she was quickly restrained by a grab of the hand.

“No, no, no. There’s lots of people now- stay with me.”

My not-so gentle reminder emphasised the sheer number of ponies that had begun to fill the streets. Everywhere the eye could see was full of ponies, mostly unicorns, as they fritted to-and-fro, fancy clothing and monocles galore in a glorious display of decadence. “Who knows where they’re going,” I commented with a hint of concern.

“Who knows?” Eva repeated as she stared off into the crowd. I gave her hand a squeeze before proceeding forward, thankful that I could at least see over the crowd and pretend that I was elsewhere.

“What’s the point of a bowling alley in this city? Who’s using that?”

Almost immediately after walking into our lovely little bowling alley, I was greeted with something not-quite-so-lovely; despite the large windows that the building possessed, it was impossibly dark inside. Only the blindingly bright lights illuminated a path for the girls and I to follow, leading up to some sort of help desk. On any other day, I would’ve questioned how this level of darkness was possible, but it certainly wasn’t the strangest thing that I’d encountered.

True to form, Eve and Eva scampered ahead of me, awestruck by the change in atmosphere. With numerous exclamations showcasing both delight and bewilderment in equal measure, they began their exploration, bathing in the synthetic lighting. The light thudding of techno music and the thunder of falling pins continuously captured the girls’ attention, heads swivelling as they attempted to locate the sounds’ many sources.

I made good use of this distraction, moving behind Eva and lifting her into the air. From her new position, she gave a small squeak before instinctively wrapping her arms around her captor, closed eyes preventing her from even realising who she was clinging onto.

“How you doing, Little-Miss Shuteye?” I asked her with a playful intonation. “It’s been a while since I’ve been somewhere like this. This is a bit of an assault on the senses, eh?” The girl in my arms responded by gripping my neck slightly tighter. Come to think of it, the inadvertent suddenness of my movements may not have been all that helpful; maybe scaring the girl wasn’t the best idea.

“Where do we go now?” Eve asked from below, having been drawn to her sister’s plight. There was nothing that particularly stood out to her in the darkness, so she turned back to her familiar source of guidance. Truth be told, I had no idea, so it was lucky that we were about to be interrupted.

“Perhaps I may be of assistance?” a dainty yet energetic voice asked to my left. Turning to meet this new sound revealed a small unicorn, cream in colour with a simple brown mane that curled over the right side of her neck. Beneath both of her eyes lay three freckles in an inverted triangle formation.

Even by pony standards, she was fairly short, and her body had a hard time keeping still, suggesting that she was younger than most. So short in fact, that I had a hard time reading the name tag that hung lifelessly off her cute little jacket. Maybe more of a waistcoat. “Perhaps you can, Miss… ‘Tempyn’?” I suddenly stopped after taking in the mare’s name. “…Subtle, that.”

“Tempyn Boleyn to be precise,” she elaborated with pride. Raising her head and closing her eyes, she thankfully missed the sight of me shaking my head in disgust. “Here for a round, I presume?” Without waiting for an answer, the unicorn headed off through the lights, gesturing for her customers to follow.

“This way, my otherworldly friends!”

This whole thing was bizarre, and my ears hurt, but this new unicorn’s way of addressing me made it seem as if I was the outlier here. I mean, I clearly was, but that’s not the point. Still, Eva wanted a round of bowling, so that was exactly what she was going to get.

“So, how do I do it…?”

After a moment of wandering and an awkward conversation, the three of us were ready to begin our game. Thankfully, we were all tucked away in a dark corner, largely out of site; most of the ponies around us remained committed to minding their own business. With the knowledge that I’d likely be left alone, I had the peace of mind to let my guard down and have a bit of fun. Just as soon as the introductions were out of the way.

The semi-agreement had been for Eva to go first, followed by Eve, so that the two could try things out. However, braced with a new experience, Eva was clearly reluctant to do much on her own, nervously looking back to the rest of her group for some form of reassurance. “How does it work?”

Her voice was hard to hear over the excessive background noise, but I moved forward regardless, grabbing a ball of my own as I went over to assist. “You’ve really never been before?” I asked, crouching down to look the girl in the eye. She answered with a shake of the head, a small smile evident despite her apparent confusion.

“Well, you take one of these…” I began, gesturing to the ball in my hands. “And when it’s your turn, you throw it down there and try and hit the pins.” My explanation was a bit crap, but Eva nodded all the same. Her agreeableness is such an asset sometimes. She immediately put a plan into action by moving over towards a bowling ball and picking it up off a shelf- before immediately collapsing to the floor under its weight.

“Woah, woah, woah!” I cried out as I flung myself forward to catch the girl as she fell, smacking the side of my head on the ball as I hit the ground. There’s nothing like giving your head a whack to really make your eyes spin.

Feeling slightly groggy, I felt Eva push away from me, a soft hum suggesting that she was unaffected by this episode. “That’s heavy,” she commented with a contented smile. Not even bothering to try and pick up the ball again, she was greeted by Eve, who grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Eve asked while brushing her sister’s clothing. Receiving a nod in response, the raven-haired girl was able to turn her attention back to me, just as I finished pushing myself off the floor.

“Yeah, that says ‘9’ on it,” I explained, picking up the ball in question. I slammed it back onto the shelf with aplomb, hoping that the loud thud could serve as some form of emphasis. “Look for one with a smaller number.” With this command, the girls scampered away to find something lighter, worrying eager to leave my sight. “Don’t get lost…” I grumbled under my breath as the girls disappeared into the strobe-lighted wilderness.

Soon enough, the two sisters returned, each carrying noticeably smaller cargo. “3!” Eve declared, waving her prize around. I instinctively ducked as the ball neared my head, weary of the girl’s grip on it. One lapse in concentration and there would be quite a mess to clean up.

“Well, you can clearly carry that one,” I remarked, reaching down to pick Eva up. My plan was to carry the girl to the start of the lane and allow her to use her entire body weight to throw the ball. It might not work, but it was better than nothing. “You ready?”

Eva’s first throw proved that my plan, in fact, wasn’t better than nothing. Upon hitting the ground, the girl’s ball span harmlessly, barely moving forwards as it lethargically shifted towards the end of the lane, lacking the strength to do little more than push a single pin out of place.

I’d internally questioned how much enjoyment could be garnered from a throw like that, but the behaviour from the girl in my arms suggested that this was unnecessary. Enraptured by its movements, she stared at the ball as it glistened in the fluorescent lighting, mouth slightly agape and body slack as she abandoned all of her other senses.

“You get another go, you know,” I announced once the ball had finally reached the end of the lane, although a lack of any feedback- neither verbal nor physical- piqued my curiosity. I gently lowered the girl to the floor where she simply sat, her vision focused on the location of where the ball had left her sight. “Eva? You get another go.”

“No, it’s my turn!”

Looking away from the transfixed tyke, my vision was quickly filled with the frown of another, as Eve was quick to voice her displeasure about being forced to wait another minute-and-a-half. When she received no immediate reply, she turned and grabbed a bowling ball of her own, before a large hand put a stop to that, shoving the ball down and keeping it wedged in its position.

“Not yet- Eva gets two turns,” I lightly reprimanded, gesturing towards the girl in question, who was finally beginning to stir. A reminder of her sister’s existence did little to dissuade Eve’s look of admonishment. “No, don’t look at me like that- then you get two turns. Look- one-two, one-two, one-two, one-two…”

I placed a finger one the girl’s left shoulder before moving it to her right shoulder and back again, creating a rhythm of bouncing my finger in time with my counting. Eve tolerated this for about as long as you expect; almost immediately, she swiped mercilessly at my arm as it travelled through the air. With a laugh, she latched onto my wrist, attempting to bring it down to the floor. Alas, she was too weak, and she could only watch as it slipped from her grasp.

Happy to get my arm back, I asked again, “Ok? So, it’s your turn next, yeah?” Eve merely smiled back in response, stretching out both her arms in front of her, making her polite request. “You’re a big softie- you know that, littlun?” I commented as I carried out the familiar process of scooping the little one up. No response came from her- not that I needed one- until she felt her feet reconnect with the floor.

Even with her feet on the ground again, the young girl refused to let go. In a melancholy display of attachment, she squeezed her eyelids shut and gripped me with all of her strength. A familiar wetness began to spill onto the girl’s cheeks as she stood on the tips of her toes, clinging onto me with everything she had. I’d hoped that today was the day that we’d go without someone crying, but there goes that pipe-dream.

“Hey, what’s with the tears- we’re supposed to be having fun here,” I reasoned upon noticing this, beginning to mop any moisture from around the girl’s eyes. I’m sure that she said some form of apology to me while I did this, but, due to a combination of background noise and her voice’s lack of volume, I had no idea of its contents. She attempted to burrow her face into my hand until I spoke again. “Come on, you- there’s still a game to play.”

Eve proved to be a quick learner. While her sister carried out her turns by absentmindedly tossing the ball without any real plan, a sense of determination overtook the raven-haired girl, as she worked towards causing as much carnage as possible.

The girl’s irregular bursts of energy worked in her favour, as she could place an unusually large amount of force behind her throws. Resultingly, her attempts were often accompanied with cheers of delight in tandem with the crash of falling pins; she clearly gained satisfaction from watching them fall.

This eventually came back to bite her, as she was presented with a challenge. “What’s your score?” I’d asked her, pointing up at the screen that showed the number in question. The fruits of the girl’s labour sat there, clear as day, integers high enough to cause her some grief as she fixated on the two digits.

“Seven…seven…seventeen!”

“Seventy-one.”

“Is that good?”

“Pretty good. Somehow you beat me…I’ll never live that down.”

On that sultry note, I looked over at Eva, who had similarly casted her gaze towards the scoreboard. I supressed a chuckle as I took in the sight of her intense concentration; if it weren’t for the loud background noise, I was sure that I’d be able to hear the gears turning in her head. Eventually, though, her eyes burst open as she gasped in realisation.

“I getted forty-one!”

Eva turned to me for confirmation, an anxious smile present on her face. “Indeed, you did. Somebody’s good at maths,” was the answer she received. She closed her eyes as she felt a hand ruffle her hair, contentedly humming away as she focused on the stimulation. “Maybe English isn’t your strong suit, though.”

“But I still won,” Eve interjected with a hint of impatience. Her expression was a forlorn one as she looked around with a bitter disposition that was out of place for someone who, by her own admission, was better than everyone else.

“You did. But that’s not the only thing that matters,” I began whilst picking Eve up and plopping her down beside her sister. “Did you have fun?” A quick hug between the little ones sparked some life into Eve’s enthusiasm as she gave a melancholic nod of approval.

Now, we’d come too far to lose it all now. I knew the answer to this problem, and I carried out my little routine with Eve once again. I’m sure that you’re on your knees begging me to give you all the details of this interaction once again, but I’ll put them to one side. Needless to say, though, it took a while for her to calm down. “You’ve been all over the place,” I concluded with the full expectation of receiving no reply.

And I didn’t receive one. Not to anything that I said exactly. “Mr. Bayard, I’m a bit hungry,” Eva suddenly announced, rubbing her stomach as it audibly rumbled, even over the bloody music.

“Me too,” Eve commented in agreement, voice muffled by the shirt that she was currently buried into.

“You still alive?” I asked the girl as I could feel her chest rise and fall spasmodically in my grasp. “I guess you’ve earned some lunch- even if it’s a bit late.” And, so, pointing the way with one arm and carrying a forlorn girl with the other, I set off, my grunt of exertion drowning out a final comment from my passenger.

“I still won, though.”

It took longer than expected to find a place where we could eat. Well, that wasn’t strictly true. It felt like that- to me at least as I carried Eve, happy to take advantage of the free ride, a short distance to a nearby café. The girl in my arms was far too preoccupied with being helpless to aid with navigation, so the burden was Eva’s to bear. She’d pointed out a place called ‘Dégâts Désolé’- a café that turned out to offer a selection of sandwiches and soft drinks.

I liked the sound of it, even with a name as nonsensical as that, although I was still concerned about the edibility of the food on offer, if my experience with Rarity was anything to go by. Luckily, a child’s universal love of cheese worked in my favour, as numerous items of that description gave the little ones something to sink their teeth into.

The wait for their lunch did little to subdue their enthusiasm either. They appeared to be playing some sort of game in a nearby field, jumping and changing stance in a semi-constant rhythm. Frankly, it looked like some form of exercise that I was glad to be away from; I was happy to sit and watch from a distance instead.

And I wasn’t the only one. As expected, when a random pair of bipeds start playing in your field, people take notice. Luckily, nobody had had the nerve to approach the girls, although I still had some concerns about how long that would last.

Hopping around aimlessly was hardly synonymous with domestic terrorism though, so most of the looks were of intrigue, like the girls were a rare piece of art on display. It was true that they’d not been given a chance to explore Canterlot before today, but this level of interest was slightly disturbing, nonetheless.

It'd all died down once I’d inserted myself into the situation, if only to inform the pair that lunch was ready. A lunch much overdue, if the speed of our sandwich destruction was any indication. Eve had asked for more, Eva had agreed, and I’d resigned myself to spending more of my hard-earned cash.

Sometime while I was placing this second order, Eve had taken the initiative and clambered onto my lap. “Hello again,” I’d commented at the surprise intrusion. Predictably, the girl in my lap said nothing, swinging her legs and bobbing her head, happy with her new vantage point.

One child’s movement must’ve inspired the other, as a loud scraping noise signalled that Eva was on the move. Although my vision was blocked by some slick, onyx locks, I could still make out a chair slowly colliding with my own. “Let’s all huddle ‘round, then.”

I wrapped my arms around Eve’s torso and lifted her slightly whilst I got myself comfortable; I had a feeling that I’d be there for a while. A dull thud in my side confirmed this suspicion as I felt an extra body’s weight press against me.

We stayed like this for a while, mercifully quiet and enraptured by our extended lunch. That was until Eve span herself around after finishing her sandwich, fixating her blue eyes on mine while she prepared a question in her mind.

“Do you have a mummy?” she suddenly asked, eyes showing an innocent intrigue. I found it difficult to match her gaze; I would’ve preferred not to answer. I struggled to find a place to focus on, but with so much of my vision taken up by the girl in my lap, and with her sister also glancing up at me, my eyes had nowhere to run.

“Um…yeah, I, um…I do, yeah.”

Eve’s stare seemed to grow more intense with this answer, although she was yet to ask a follow-up question. And so, the torch was passed to Eva, who spoke up after giving a few experimental tugs on my shirt.

“What’s her name?”

“Holly.”

“That’s a nice name.”

I didn’t know what to say next, and my reluctance was surely obvious at this point. Not obvious enough, however, as Eve entered herself back into the conversation.

“Do you spend time with her?”

Sitting back, the girl’s gaze softened slightly, but her intrigue burned as brightly as ever as she peered up and waited patiently for an answer.

“Well…of course we did- er, do! We have little times where I’d come and see her. Like, on days when she wasn’t at work.”

“What do you do together?” Eva asked, undeterred by my unease with the subject.

“We’d um…we’d play games together and we’d chat and have lunch. We’d talk for hours…she always knew what to say…”

I trailed off towards the end of my brief explanation. Sucking in a deep breath, I looked down, hoping to see the floor, but Eve’s stare reminded me that this was something that could only be ignored for so long. “She was…really special.” There was no solace to be found in this conversation, as Eva, naïve to a fault, pressed on.

“Is your mummy dead?”

“No, no. She’s alive- it’s just hard to see her right now.”

“Is that because you’re a grown-up?”

The girl’s lack of understanding was clear; she fired off random questions in the desperate hope of piecing something together. I understood this, and I sought to avoid creating a problem that I was ill-equipped to solve. There was no need for details.

“Look, I’m sorry,” I suddenly blurted out. “With your mum- I…I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.” Accomplishing nothing except creating more confusion, I pushed Eva into my side and held her there, happy to feel her accept the gesture.

“It’s okay,” Eva reassured me, pushing away slightly. “I don’t remember my mummy.” The nonchalant nature in which she said this was particularly revealing in its candidness. I once again had no answer, nor did I really know if an answer was really necessary.

“I’m sorry that I can’t change that for you two,” I lamented. “But we’ll change things- things’ll be better from here.” As I spoke, I felt unsure of what to do at this point- of how to react. Either way, the sudden heaviness of the conversation was lost on the two girls, who looked at me quizzically.

“Can we go back now?” Eve asked suddenly, rubbing her eyes. An answer was never necessary for her; she draped her arms over my shoulders and pulled herself further up my torso. From there, she dangled, causing great neck pain to the mountain that she clung to.

“Back to the castle?”

“With you.”

The response that I received was muffled, but it was loud enough to convey its intended message. “Of course, we can,” I softly replied as I rose to my feet, supporting my passenger. Once my adjustment was complete, Eve gained extra leverage around my neck, the flexing of her arms being the only indication that she had any strength left. “Eva, are you ready to go?”

Eva nodded happily as she stood up, pushing her chair back to roughly where she found it. Once this was done, she bounded back to my side, seemingly also prepared for the day out to end. Feet swinging, she skipped ahead, turning around once she heard me speak up.

“I hope you enjoyed today,” I stated as we set off. Although a general thought, I only expected the girl at my side to reply, and she eventually did so, stopping a few feet in front of me.

“It was really fun,” she quietly replied, swaying back-and-forth on the spot. “Thank you.” She stayed stationary even after she finished, placing both of her hands on her chest as she continued to oscillate.

“You don’t need to thank me- the day wouldn’t’ve been as fun without you.”

“I don’t know…”

Eva remained rooted to the spot, her slow dance of insecurity being her only method of movement. An inability to meet anyone’s gaze only added to the troubled display, so I lowered myself down and, with some difficulty, lightly flicked at the timid girl’s forehead. “Don’t be so modest, madam. I know that it’s true.”

Jumping back from the sudden contact, Eva placed a hand over the point of impact and glanced up uneasily. A smile awaited her once she caught a glimpse of what was in front of her, but there was still some apprehension in her stare.

“I guess so…”

“I know so.”

Eva had no answer to that. After a short delay, she headed back over to me and offered her hand. It took some adjustments, but soon our hands connected- the confirmation that some form of agreement had been made.

With the hums of one sister and the snores of the other filling my ears, I began the journey back. With this part of the day all-but finished, I exhaled loudly as I felt a level of tension fade away. All I had to do now was find out what Celestia needed to talk to me about.

“What joy will you bring me this time, princess?”

Chapter 15.5: The Plan

Later that evening, after the girls had been put to bed, I found myself in the princess’ throne room, wringing my hands as I waited for The Big One and co. to arrive. As I’d expected, I was the only one around, and the seemingly endless wait did little to calm my nerves.

I brushed my fingers over my left forearm, its uneven surface serving as a painful reminder of my previous escapade. The wound was still young, but I carried a great deal of pessimism about its recovery. Even in the dim candlelight that surrounded me, I could still make out the crimson that adorned my skin- a stark contrast to the pale complexion of the rest of my arm.

A loud bang coming from the doors behind me broke me out of my trance. From the darkness came a familiar griffon, bandaged, yet the smile on his face showed that he was great deal happier than I was. “That settles it, then,” I announced to the intruder, who looked back at me in confusion.

“What settles what?” Fairfeather replied, scratching the back of his neck. The movement seemed to cause him to feel the effects of his own injuries as it stretched the broken skin underneath his wing. In an instant, he moved to cradle his wound, almost missing my reply once I started speaking again.

“We’re gonna go kill something, aren’t we?”

I felt my mouth form a wry smile as I theorised. The enjoyment surely conflicted heavily with my continuous nervous shuffling; I doubt that it was easy for Fairfeather to deduce as to whether I was excited for some action or not. “Did you kill anything last time?” he asked with a degree of scepticism.

“Yeah- you.”

I softly elbowed Fairfeather in the ribs, taking care to avoid the site of the griffon’s injuries. My target flinched from the sudden contact, instinctively protecting his wound and chuckling to himself. “You’re not that good yet, ace. Try not to pass out next time.”

A redness flooded into my cheeks as I thought back to the events on Pastern Peak. Feeling some sardonic glee, I closed the distance between myself and Fairfeather, offering my hand. With a resounding clap, the griffon accepted the incredibly manly gesture. “It’s good to see you, mate.”

“Yeah, you too.”

We waited in the throne room for a while after that. The expectation was that the princesses would arrive at some point that evening, but the life of a monarch can apparently be time-consuming, so I busied myself with studying the stained glass around the room- what little I could see of it at least.

“What’s all this about?” I enquired, in need of a way to pass the time. I took in the sight of the artwork before me, but I couldn’t make heads-or-tails of any of it. Despite the limited exposure to Equestria that I’d received…well, I didn’t really know if this was Equestria or not.

“You kidding? This is Equestrian history,” Fairfeather answered as he strolled over to me. He peered at the glass before turning to face me with a grin. “…Starring that piece you were with that one time.”

Oh, that sneaky bastard. “Shit, that’s Twilight? I guess those tales that Celestia told me were true,” I mused as I observed the mare’s portrayal. I gazed at Twilight’s depiction, noting how obvious her portrayal was in hindsight. My vision shifted to the other members of the picture, some I recognised and some I didn’t, wondering whether there would be a time where I could-

“So, what’s the deal between you two?” Fairfeather blurted out, interrupting my thought process. “I doubt that was the last you saw of her.” He prodded my side- and he did well to avoid my retaliatory kick.

“She’s just a friend.”

“Ooh. Short answer. Tense.”

With this comment, Fairfeather prepared himself for another attack- but it never came as I stood in place, having been consumed by my thoughts again. I was vaguely aware of the griffon’s grin increasing in size, as I tripped over myself in pursuit of an explanation.

“I don’t even know her; I’ve only seen her a few times.”

“Yeah, but you were in a hurry to go see her last time.”

“That’s because she had the kids.”

“And a motherly role? I bet you feel special.”

“Shut up, man-”

Any potential tirade was abruptly cut off as Princess Celestia strode into the throne room with a bang, illuminating the space around her with her horn. Decisive and irritatingly controlled, she summoned an orb of light that floated up to the ceiling, casting its light down onto the floor below. “Why don’t you just get a chandelier?” I asked in response to the light show. I let out a yawn as the illuminations disrupted my vision.

The princess gave no notice to any grumblings. “I appreciate your patience,” she stated calmly. “Just one moment; we will begin once Princess Luna arrives.”

She raised a good point: little Luna was nowhere to be found. “Yeah, well, Princess Luna is probably on her lazy arse-” I began before being quickly cut off as something wrapped itself around my throat. Any smarmy musings were completely erased as I felt my airway begin to collapse.

“Princess Luna is trying her hardest not to strangle somepony with her magic right now,” a voice called out from behind me- one that I could easily recognise, even as my consciousness was fading away. The lack of any social restraint could only signal the arrival of the mare in question, who introduced herself with a prideful smile. “What did I say about your right to judge my sleeping habits?”

“Okay, okay, okay…” I choked out with ragged breaths.

“What was that?”

This was becoming a problem.

“Stop, stop, stop, stop…”

“Surely you can be louder than that…”

This was still a problem.

“Victory is yours! I submit!”

Having witnessed my outdated internet reference, Luna had apparently seen enough. With a sigh, she weakened her grip, allowing me a moment to scramble away and catch my breath. “Is this the life of luxury that I was promised?!” I coughed from behind Fairfeather, who had frozen in place, likely with the hopes that he would blend into the background if he stood still for long enough.

Hoping to regain some control of the conversation, Celestia spoke up again. “As you know, the Gala is due to take place at the end of this month, and…” She stopped once she caught a glimpse of my confused face. “…You do know, don’t you?”

All momentum was lost from our exchange as an awkward silence filled the room. We all stood there, staring blankly in awe of this incredible new piece of information. Only my uncomfortably deep breathing provided any sign of life in the throne room at all. What the hell is a ‘Gala’ anyway? Some kind of bingo night?

“Regardless,” Luna piped up. Bold of her to assume that ‘regardless’ would be sufficient when there were, indeed, things to be regarded. “We require you to take care of a swarm of Stymphalian birds; their numbers and their movements have been unpredictable as of late, and we fear that they may pose a risk to the Gala’s guests.”

The princess’ audience listened with widely varying levels of interest. Whilst Fairfeather appeared to be enraptured with the idea of going out on the hunt, I pushed a hand through my hair and scowled at the two monarchs. “You’re gonna send me to kill some birds?”

“These are not simply ‘birds’,” Luna clarified. “They are incredibly dangerous creatures, located deep in the Everfree Forest.”

“Everfree…?”

“A large forest on the outskirts of Ponyville. A dangerous place- the entire south side is covered in swampland,” Fairfeather interjected, as if he’d been waiting for an excuse to contribute to the discussion. “Been wanting to go there for a while. I heard it’s cursed; perfect place for somepony to…disappear.” His eyes widened as he continued to explain, contributing to an almost hungry look that was slightly concerning. This guy’s gonna betray me, isn’t he?

As I left the griffon to fantasise, I shifted back Celestia. “Does Twilight know about this? Because she always knows about everything.” The lovely sunbutt nodded once with a knowing smile that looked to be mocking me via candlelight. Or whatever you call the magic chandelier thing. The line sounded more impressive in my head.

“She has been informed of our request,” Celestia explained- again showing how being vague is apparently the key to thrusting yourself to the top of the social ladder. “She will meet up with you tomorrow, and you will then go with her to Ponyville.”

“And the kids?”

“Your foals will travel with you as well. You will be situated there for a number of days, so do be sure to pack some spare clothes.”

“You’re always so considerate, aren’t you?”

The princesses and I conversed for a while, with Fairfeather contributing every now-and-then, going through the plan of action. Apparently, population management wasn’t a uniquely human concept; pests needed to be destroyed and it was my job to do just that. Like some sort of bloody pesticide. I could be having a bath right now. Or a wank. I miss having a wank.

Eventually, the discussion drew to a close and I prepared to leave. No chance- I was halted by Celestia. “One more thing, young one: take these,” she stated from behind my back. In her magic, she carried what appeared to be a shield amongst a crude set of armour that was made from a material that I didn’t recognise. I held out my arms expectantly, happily accepting the gift, until I was able to wrap my fingers around this crazy new stuff.

“And these are…”

“Cork. I will leave that for the griffon to explain. Just take them with you to Ponyville.”

Ah yes. Cork. How didn’t I see this coming? On a serious note though, what did cork have to do with anything? Fairfeather would need to be good at explaining because this made no sense. But, my God, it was nice to rub against.

Brushing my hand over my new present, I shivered with delight as I felt my fingers brush against its surface. I lightly punched the material and felt my fist imbed itself into it, creating such a lovely suction that caused me to feel far more pleasure than it needed to.

Maybe someone had said something whilst I was…engrossed, but I heard bugger all. The suction…

Where was Twilight?

…

…

…

Come on, Dave- this is a mission.

Uh, so…I remained fixated on the item in my hands for a little while; apparently my need for an explanation could wait. But even the explainer had grown impatient, as, when I snapped out of my trance, I saw Luna heading towards the throne room’s entrance.

“Now, unless we have anything else to discuss, I must begin my nightly duties,” the night mare announced as she disappeared into the darkness. I don’t know why she didn’t just teleport.

Celestia concurred, stating, “As must the two of you, my young ones. Off to sleep now.” It was an abrupt way to end our little slumber party; she nonchalantly waved her hoof towards Fairfeather and I, shooing us away like the scum we were. The griffon could surely tell which way the wind was blowing, as a claw embedded itself into my shirt and soon, I felt myself be dragged out of the throne room.

Chapter 16: What it Means to You

Between the light from the throne room obscuring my vision and the cork filling my hands, my senses were fully overcome until the morning arrived. Of course, Eve and Eva were happy to snap me out of my trance when the time came, and we were just getting into some intense colouring when we heard a knock on our bedroom door.

“She’s not here already, is she?” I wondered to myself as Eve rushed to the door and laboriously dragged it open. As if answering my question, a purple burst of magic assisted the girl in her efforts as a familiar alicorn came into her view.

“Hey there, little one.”

Twilight greeted the little girl warmly, just out of my sight. The warmth she conveyed seemed to be fleeting, however- quickly diminishing as she stood there in silence, awaiting a response. When she received none, she continued, “Is your…your…how would you put it…?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eve answered absentmindedly, turning her back on the mare and walking back towards me. Shortly after, Twilight came into view, her eyes scanning the room until she settled her vision on me, sitting at a small table with an even smaller child plopped onto my lap.

“Good morning,” the mare called out to me, tearing me away from my work. Crayons still in hand, Eva and I swivelled ourselves ‘round to greet our new guest as she did that sweet smile of hers. “You look comfy.”

“So comfy that I don’t want to stand up,” I commented in return. I stayed true to my word, gripping the child in my lap with one arm and giving a single wave with the other. “How you doing, Twilight? I wasn’t expecting you this early.”

From my seated position, I watched Twilight shuffle towards me before abruptly coming to a stop in front of me. “Oh, I’m needed in Canterlot today. I was already here, so I thought I’d say ‘hello’,” the mare reasoned, being strangely fixated on the ceiling for some reason.

After her little greeting, though, she absentmindedly stared at the table that I was sat at, focusing on the empty space beside me. I didn’t know what she was doing, and for the next ninety seconds, I grew slightly concerned by her inactivity- and I began to wonder if Twilight had had some sort of seizure.

Whatever it was about the table that had caused her to shut down, the time to focus on the poor piece of furniture had passed. You see, after about a minute, I grew bored of being concerned, and I’d wandered over to her to see if she still had a pulse. Turns out she had, and an obligatory flick to the forehead brought her back to the land of the living, causing her eyes to scan around the room in shock.

Her vision finally settled on the scroll from the other day, which lay in the same spot that it had fallen to after my last failure. Without a word, the mare picked up the scroll in her magic and began to carefully hang it on the wall. Eve, Eva and I watched in awe, as our combined efforts were rendered obsolete in an instant.

“You’re confusingly competent at times,” I commented as I marvelled at the large drawing, stretched out in its entirety over the doorway. The little ones did the same, standing at my side and straining their necks as they re-admired their handiwork.

Slightly immune to my backhandedness at this point, Twilight just replied, “I’ll take that as a compliment.” And then, she started looking at the bloody table again.

I took no notice of this- not outwardly, at least- as I continued to study the girls’ scrawling. I could hear Twilight mosey her way over to me again, and she followed my gaze as I observed a particular part that stood out, if only because part of it was discoloured with what appeared to be…

“…Why’d you put apples on it?” I asked the two sisters as I pointed up at the fruit pieces, which had recently begun to spoil.

“It needed something special,” Eve briefly reasoned, pointing up at the apple pieces and moving her hands to create some kind of meaningless gesture.

“Something was missing,” Eva elaborated, saying even less than her sister had.

“…And you thought apples was the right way to go?”

“I wanted berries.”

“Evie did say ‘berries’.”

I was at a loss as to whether this was true or not- not that it mattered in the slightest. But there was nothing better to do, so I turned to who I hoped would’ve been the most reliable narrator that day, the one and only Twilight, who conceded very quickly.

“…She wanted berries.”

Sound.

“Apples look nothing like berries,” I continued to argue. “Why did you want berries anyway?”

“Because…I wanted berries,” Eve attempted to elaborate, swaying on the spot as she failed to think of a better answer.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“It was Eva’s idea!”

“But you said-”

“I liked it when we smooshed some berries in art that one time,” Eva softly announced. “I’m sorry.” With this apparent admission, she grabbed her sister by the shoulders and moved behind her. From there, she buried her face into the onyx hair in front of her, breathing deeply as she got herself settled. It was better than crying. Maybe we’re evolving.

Although I was fine with this behaviour, so long as Eve was, this unorthodox way of handling pressure earned a perplexed look from Twilight. “Don’t look at me,” I asserted as I attempted to dig the forlorn girl out of her hiding place. “Come on, cherub- it’s okay. I love that you’re getting in touch with your creative side.”

Having been pried from her hiding place, Eva tried her best to keep her head down. Her best was not good enough, as she felt a hand cup her chin and gently lift her head up. She submitted to the movement, opening her eyes to reveal my concerned face, as I continued. “I take it you got a little side-tracked though, eh?”

Eva nodded in response to this; I had no clue if she’d listened to a single word that I’d said, but her ever-fragile smile was all I needed. “That’s alright. You should’ve told me about the berries- Blueblood was chomping on them the other night. Bloody picked enough berries to feed a kingdom. Lard-arse.”

“Wait- Prince Blueblood?” Twilight interjected. “You went to fight a monster…with Prince Blueblood?” She stared at me in astonishment, as I nodded to confirm her suspicions. Seems that these two have history. I swear to God- if Twilight was one of his harlot’s...

“Was he the one who tried to fix your arm?”

Another nod.

“And you let him?!”

“I was kind of unconscious at the time,” I stated bluntly. Probably the way he liked it. Creepy bastard. “Can we not talk about this? Not in front of the kids.” I placed my hands in front of me defensively, as the alicorn looked moments away from boiling over.

“Let me take a look at your arm again.”

“No.”

A second flick to the forehead threw Twilight off her perch, and that little whack did well to calm her down. “What are you even here for today?” I asked her, sitting back down at the table and picking up a crayon.

“Oh, I was going to visit my parents today,” Twilight explained from across the room, perked up with a sudden burst of enthusiasm. “Little family gathering. Care to join me?”

Now that was worth a chuckle. A laugh you could even refer to as ‘hearty’ if you were feeling particularly daring. But instead, Twilight’s proposal could only earn a single, one-word response.

“No.”

“Come onnnn…”

Twilight’s petulant protests did little to persuade her audience. From my place on the floor, I turned to confront the antsy alicorn. “Isn’t it a bit abrupt if some random freak shows up at their door?” I began. “What are you gonna say? ‘Oh, don’t worry about the five-and-a-half-foot plus-one; he owes me a favour after he slept with me’?”

“You said that was weird…”

“It was weird, Twilight!”

Twilight huffed and turned her head away from the me, as if the moral high ground was hers to take. I let out a similar sound, so that could only have indicated that I’d done the same, nearly taking Eva’s head off in the process. Only the sounds of crayons dragging along cheap paper could be heard as both of us appeared to have reached an impasse.

“Well, you’re coming,” Twilight declared. Practicing her princess voice, she looked down at her unenthused subjects. “Mostly because…I already told my parents that you’d be coming.”

Oh, you’re joking. I smashed both of my hands into my face and let out a small scream. A twisted concoction of anger and fear festered in my chest as the idea of above-average levels of social interaction became impossible to bear.

Once these emotions dissipated, I clutched at the child in my lap and squeezed her against me, hearing her let out a squeak in surprise. “That’s just…so wrong, Twilight. That isn’t even close to how invitations work.”

“B-but-”

“No. Go spend some time with your family, Twilight. You don’t need me there.”

Convinced that the conversation was over, I turned my back on the faltering mare and returned to my work. Unfortunately for me, she pondered for a moment, seemingly out of options, until she remembered a certain promise. “I didn’t want to do this, but… I’m calling in that favour.”

Her declaration passed me by initially; I continued to colour until my mind reached a horrible conclusion. Once two-and-two were put together, I nearly collapsed. “You wouldn’t…” I warned, only to be met with a smug smile. “Oh, you sneaky little so-and-so.”

“Sneaky little so-and-so…” Eva repeated, her eyes never leaving her colouring book.

“Very sneaky…” Eve concurred.

The girls’ introduction into this exchange brought me a new list of potential excuses- and, my God, I was certainly gonna use them. “Well, what about these two? I’m not leaving them alone,” I added. I’d hoped that this would make Twilight think twice, but I looked on in despair as the mare’s smile grew even more.

“Oh, they’re coming too!”

“You told your family about them, too? Child protection, Twilight.”

“I only said that you had foals!”

“And what did they say back?”

“I didn’t get a reply.”

“Not surprised.”

Twilight sighed heavily. She must’ve really been banking on me honouring my word, yet here I sat in direct violation of a commitment made by candlelight. Taking a seat at the table beside me, she turned to me and gazed deeply into my eyes. “Please?”

Having Twilight beg me to keep her company wasn’t something that I was expecting to experience that day. In that moment, I faltered slightly; I’d bickered with this dozy mare before, but this time felt different. “Can I bring the colouring books?” I asked, slowly giving up the fight.

“I’m not going if we don’t have colouring books,” Eve informed the rest of the room, slicing through any remaining tension in a way that only a child’s bluntness could. The girl’s contribution softened Twilight’s expression, who began to gather the colouring supplies in her magic.

“Yes, you can bring the colouring books,” she reassured me as I snatched at one of the books as it floated past my head. Naturally, I missed, but the movement inspired me to stand up and stretch my joints. “Fine, fine- let’s go to this family outing,” I conceded, earning a squee of delight from Twilight.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cried as she leaped at me. Scarier than it sounds. Relying purely on instincts, I thrust my arms out and grunted as the extra weight entered my grasp.

“It shouldn’t matter that much to you,” I commented with a smile. My statement fell on deaf ears as Twilight remained motionless, eyes closed as she leaned into me. I stroked the mare’s mane as she showed no sign of letting go any time soon, although it didn’t sound like she had much time to spare. “We should get going soon, shouldn’t we?”

An ever-increasing silence indicated that Twilight was yet to recover. In spite of the weight pressed onto my frame, I found little discomfort in this, but I was aware that Eve and Eva were getting restless. And so, slowly straggling towards the door, I gestured for the two sisters to prepare for another outing.

“Come on girls. Get your things- we’re going out.”

Everything had happened so quickly. In an instant, Twilight had sped us through Canterlot with a ruthless efficiency. She must’ve been running late, as she, without a word, sniffed down the location of her parent’s house like a bloodhound.

And so, that was where I stood, outside a modest cottage on the outskirts of Canterlot. “You know you’ve got a castle, right? You could get your parents a bigger house,” I mused to Twilight, taking in the two-story abode. Beside me, Eve traced a finger along one of the walls, scraping her nails on the brick exterior.

Twilight, however, was still in her zone. It was a mystery if the mare had even blinked since she left the castle, but her punctual arrival suggested that her efforts weren’t in vain. With a sigh of relief, she gently tapped on the house’s front door, gesturing for the girls and I to fall in behind her.

There was little movement in the wake of her gesture, as I was too busy trying to stop Eve from digging her fingers into the walls. This all changed once someone actually answered the door, and we were all called to attention by an unfamiliar voice.

“Twilight!” called a grey unicorn, who stood in the cottage’s doorway, which elicited a greeting and an embrace from Twilight herself. “How are you, sweetie? Glad you could make it.” The two remained locked in a hug for a moment that gave me enough time to wrangle the little ones.

“You know I’d never miss a chance to see you,” Twilight affirmed from within the unicorn’s embrace. In a moment of comfort, she smiled warmly, reliving childhood memories as the house surely brought with it waves of nostalgia.

“We are late though, aren’t we?” I asked from over Twilight’s shoulder. The alicorn wheeled around and glared at me in response, but I was more focused on Eve trying to drag herself up my left arm. “Stop,” I quietly warned, swatting away the little girl.

The unicorn in the doorway let out a melancholy sigh while watching the event unfold. “Oh, the joys of being a parent…” she mused, placing a hoof to her chest. “You must be David- Twilight’s told us all about you.”

I tried my hardest to reciprocate her greeting, but I was once again distracted by another pair of hands intercepting one of my arms- this time with Eva pushing it back-and-forth as she stood under it. “I am terrified of what she might have said…” I began, swallowing hard. “Nice to meet you. I’d shake your hoof, but my hands don’t belong to me right now.”

The grey unicorn let out a laugh as she watched my struggle. It sounded a bit fake, but I’ll take it. I don’t know what Twilight was playing at either; I don’t think her blush was necessary this time. This interaction’s such a mess. “You’ll get your hooves back some day!” this new unicorn laughed before stopping suddenly. “You look different to how Twilight described you.”

“I…don’t know how to answer that.”

“No need to, hun! Come on in!”

With a wave, she trotted back into the house, leaving Twilight and her guests to follow her in. Twilight did so, but not before turning back to catch of glimpse of me psyching up the little ones. “Alright, you two,” I started, grabbing the girls by the shoulders and squeezing the pair together. “This might be a little boring, and to be honest, I don’t really wanna be here, but I want you on your best behaviour, okay?”

“No worries!”

“You can count on us!”

With Eva’s reassurance and Eve’s promise, I felt somewhat more settled as I could feel my resolve begin to waiver. I remained crouched as I contemplated leaving but the feeling of Eva climbing onto my shoulders reminded me that some things just can’t be walked away from. And so, with Twilight continuing to watch from the doorway, I stood up and prepared myself for another meeting.

“Kind words; kind hands.”

Walking through the doorway revealed a small living room that reflected a minimalist lifestyle; an endearingly compact living space with a simple set of chairs around a fireplace. Perhaps the correct word would be ‘cozy’. Either way, I needed to crouch down to avoid beheading the girl on my shoulders, but the exertion that this required was almost comforting to me. I liked being tall.

But before all that, I had to first make it past a certain blue stallion. A stallion who fought with words, hopefully; both his lack of muscle and his more rounded facial features were clear to see. Indeed, he was one of the weakest-looking stallions that I’d seen so far.

The stallion opened his mouth to speak, but he was immediately interrupted by Twilight. “Oh, this is my mom, Twilight Velvet,” she said. She gestured to Mrs. Velvet, who stood beside this new stallion. She could’ve told me that earlier- using the phrase ‘this new unicorn’ a little while ago may’ve been fairly confusing for the readers.

“So, you share first names, or…?” I questioned, trying to wrap my mind around Equestria’s naming system. Again, the stallion nearby was prepared give an answer, but was quickly interrupted by Twilight once more.

“And this is my dad, Night Light!”

The alicorn smiled with glee as she introduced her parents. Her enthusiasm was lost on me, however, as I stared off into the distance, deep in thought. “What?” she asked after a short time had passed, bewildered at my hesitation. Despite her attempt to bring me back, I still stood there, with a picturesque thousand-yard stare, unbroken even as Eva’s hands began to wave in front of my eyes.

“So, how did you get your name?” I eventually asked in a slight panic. Twilight must’ve been confused as to why my voice was so full of emotion, as she also began a lengthy period of thought, creating the world’s most awkward stalemate.

Mrs. Velvet was seemingly accustomed to the silence that followed; she navigated her way past the pair of ponderers and into the living room. “I’ll see how Shining and Cadence are doing,” she mentioned to her husband, who seemed happy to wait until the conversation kicked off again.

Twilight blinked first; she looked up at me with a blank face after failing to find an answer of her own, so I recommenced the questioning. “Well, shouldn’t you get names from your parents? Shouldn’t you be called, like, Twilight Light?” I questioned the perplexed pony.

“What- no.”

“Can I call you ‘Twilight Light’?”

“No!”

“But it’s such a nice name…”

“No, it’s not!”

“That’s not a nice thing to say in front of your dad.”

“Hmm…”

Twilight grumbled to herself in response to this. She pouted and glared at the floor, trying to hide a faint redness that was present on her cheeks; I watched the mare’s movements, supressing a chuckle as I did so. Keeping the mare’s shuffling in the corner of my vison, I turned to meet Mr. Night Light. “Since your daughter is more interested in being moody right now, hiya- my name’s David,” I stated to the stallion, offering a hand for him to shake.

Night Light reciprocated the gesture, engaging with me in a slightly weak ‘handshake’. “Good to see you, good to see you. Twilight has written much about you,” he explained before placing a hoof on Twilight’s back. “He looks different to how you described, baba. You should work on your descriptive language.”

“She has been slacking recently,” I concurred, placing a hand on the alicorn’s head. Soon enough, Eve wordlessly joined in with the pile-on as well, causing an avalanche of limbs to fall onto the mare as she continued to simmer. The combined pressure caused Twilight to momentarily sag before springing back up with a layer of irritation.

“I’m gonna go wait in the living room…” she grumbled as she slunk past her father, swishing her tail as she did so.

Night Light laughed heartily as his daughter swept past him. “No matter how many titles she receives, she’ll always be my daughter,” he chuckled. The smile on his face was sincere, and he looked longingly at Twilight as she disappeared into the living room.

“So, she’s always been like this?” I asked, receiving a nod in response. “Strange, I wonder how a girl like- what the hell is that?” My pondering was abruptly halted as some form of chanting began to emanate from the living room.

“…Awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!”

I could easily recognise one of the voices as Twilight’s, but there was another- one that I’d never heard before. Eve noticed this too, and she set off towards the sound, grabbing me by the hand as she strolled past me. Submitting to the raven-haired girl, I allowed myself to be pulled along, ducking again to fit the passenger on my shoulders through the doorway.

Walking into the living room, I noticed a white stallion lounging on a sofa on the far side of the room. Compared to Night Light, this new challenger was much larger and more muscular, clearly evident even while he was stretched out in the way that he was.

The stallion quickly caught onto the new group of intruders, scanning us within moments of us entering the room. Despite what I was expecting, the stallion was remarkably at ease; he looked at me and grinned before returning his gaze to where it had been before my interruption.

Following the stallion’s gaze, I was rewarded with the sight of Twilight and another mare engaged in some form of dance. I was…fortunate enough to have caught onto the very end of the pair’s engagement, getting an eyeful of Twilight’s backside as it waved through the air.

A snickering from the white stallion caused Twilight to cease her dance and jerk her head towards him, who in turn, pointed back to my location. The agitated alicorn turned to where the stallion had pointed and looked on in agony as her human audience looked back at her, the centrepiece of which standing with folded arms and a raised eyebrow.

“Uh…h-h-how long have you been standing there?” she stammered, her cheeks bathed in the warmth of an uneasy crimson. The laughter behind her made her embarrassment burn brighter, and she curled her tail to cover her flanks as she waited for an answer.

“Far too long…” I uttered, slowly shaking my head in dismay. My confusion was so heavy that I barely reacted to Eva pressing her head into mine as she seemed to be worse at handling all the attention than Twilight was.

To add to the list of currently nameless characters, the pony who had engaged with Twilight was less affected by the room’s new-found tension. She stood up and took to the air- as much as one can when stuck in a living room- and landed on the sofa inhabited by the white stallion.

Her new perch gave me the chance to get a better look at her. If there could only ever be one pony to fulfil the ‘princess’ archetype, it would be her. Pink, fluffy with a curled mane of many colours, and the combination of a horn and a pair of wings. They must do wonders when it comes to first impressions.

“Never gets old,” the archetype chuckled, flicking her mane with a hoof. She stretched out along the sofa and fell into the lap of the white unicorn from earlier. “Lighten up, Twily! You’ve never been embarrassed about it before!” she called out to Twilight, who remained frozen in place.

“And as for you…” she continued as she turned to look at me. “You should know it’s rude to stare.” A laugh threatened to escape her lips as she watched me take a step backwards, raising my hands as I retreated.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that she did it in the middle of the room,” I argued. “And from the way you speak, you’re surely the responsible adult here.” This conversation passed right over Twilight’s head, quite literally, as she was still yet to move from her spot on the carpet.

The pink alicorn giggled from within the stallion’s grasp. She sat up before answering, “Sounds like you need an adult of your own! My name is Cadence, and this lovely stallion is Shining Armour.” She lazily flapped a hoof at Shining Armour’s neck, and the ‘lovely stallion’ flapped his hoof right back.

“Hmm…only ‘stallion’? Not ‘husband’?” Shining Armour teased before latching onto his purported wife’s neck and peppered it with small, albeit loud, kisses. He showed a remarkable level of stamina when doing this, carrying on this performance, noises and all, for far longer than was necessary. Not too long for Cadence, mind; the noises she made were overflowing with satisfaction.

“Oh, Jesus…” I groaned while my face contorted into a disgusted snarl. “Have you been drinking?” Averting my gaze, I was delighted to see Eve and Eva plotting to climb onto the living room furniture; at least it gave me something else to focus on. I set off towards the pair of troublemakers, lifting Twilight to her hooves on the way, until I was interrupted by a question from Cadence.

“Ever been in love, human?”

Her question brought me to an immediate halt. I stood still, Twilight still in hand, and rattled my brain to think of an appropriate answer. “Cadence…” Twilight lethargically called out from beneath me, some hesitation present in her voice.

“Not for a while,” I answered. I didn’t understand the point of the question, and I hoped that my lack of a response would derail Cadence’s efforts. Unfortunately, the love-drunk little-miss pressed onwards.

“So, you’d be open to trying…?”

“Cadence…!”

“That’s a complicated question.”

“I don’t think it’s so complicated- at least, that’s not what Twilight said.”

“Cadence!”

“And what did she say?”

“She said that you slept together.”

I could feel the walls caving in around me as the entire atmosphere within the room suddenly felt incredibly heavy. Every pair of adult eyes fell onto me the moment Cadence uttered that phrase- a phrase that I’d used in jest. I couldn’t possibly believe that Twilight’s diction was that bad.

Within seconds, Twilight was ready for a grilling. I needed an answer. The pressure to receive one so was so extreme that I fell over myself in the process; even such a short trip was difficult for my shellshocked mind and racing heart rate. Finding my target, I stared down at the purple alicorn, making very jerky and very violent points with my arms.

“I told you that with confidence!”

“I didn’t think she’d tell you-”

“-Of course she’d tell me, Twilight- she’s your family!”

I stopped once I realised how loud my voice had become. A quick glance around the room was all I was capable of doing at that moment, and as a result, I couldn’t really read my audience’s faces. Even from their place on top of one of the chairs, Eve and Eva met my glance with concern, the latter of the two making her way back towards me.

Eva looked up at me pitifully, her large eyes putting my increased heart rate in a different context; their familiarity only seemed to contribute to a pain that began to build in my left arm. “Is this the part where I die? Was this some sort of elaborate trap?” I asked in a defeated tone, only to be met with another period of silence; Cadence only raised an eyebrow.

The silence was the worst part; mindreading wasn’t part of my skillset. I was having trouble reading my own in fairness. “I’m sorry…” I began before I caught onto what I was saying, and my concern evaporated while I turned back to Twilight. “…Actually, no, I’m not- this is your fault.”

“But-”

“And we didn’t sleep in the same bed. I spent a night at her castle in separate beds, and-”

I continued to clarify, hoping against hope that I could regain control of this conversation. Alas, my efforts were in vain, as Night Light perked up and offered more of an insight into the contents of Twilight’s letters. “Twilight said you had a strong tongue, boy.”

“Sir, I swear- I never-”

An eruption of laughter interrupted my unfortunate ramblings- the giggles and snickers from a group of ponies that I barely understood. The jovial atmosphere that they brought clashed heavily with the harsh ache in my arm, seemingly amplified with every heartbeat.

My thoughts were interrupted by Twilight’s hoof pressing into my thigh. “I meant that you’re strong with your words- you say how you feel,” she attempted to reassure me with as much positivity as she could project. Her hoof stayed on my leg while she glanced up at me, wordlessly telling me that everything was okay.

But something was wrong. Despite the optimism in the room and the reassurance from Twilight, I was unable to let go of something- some sort of negativity that was as immovable as it was baseless. The thudding in my arm grew unbearable, and I began to rub my right hand over the fragile flesh, only to become painfully aware of a certain troublemaker hurtling towards me.

“Catch me!”

The falling child brought me down with ease. Forced into a crouch due to the great height that the girl fell from, I glanced down at the little one with a sense of bewilderment. “Eve, I thought I said, ‘kind hands’,” I verbally prodded her, unable to contain a smile in spite of my attempted chastisement.

Eve had little regard for my change in demeanour, laughing away in my arms. With gleeful abandon, the girl giggled away before eventually calming down. “I was kind,” she explained “You looked sad.”

“Something must be done,” Eva concurred, somehow back on my shoulders. She attempted to smack her fist into her hand for emphasis, but her poor timing made her look as if she was having some sort of spasm instead.

“Well, while I admit that that made me feel a bit better-”

“-I knew it’d work…”

“-That’s still not something that we should be doing anywhere. Certainly not in somebody else’s home.”

“It was Eva’s idea.”

“No, it wasn’t! It was your-”

“Okay, okay, okay,” I reassured the duo as I tried to stand upright. The awkward placement of the two girls still hitching a ride on my body made this difficult, but the thought was there. “You can get off my shoulders now, cherub,” I told Eva, tapping on her knee to get her attention.

“No, I can’t,” the little one resoundingly returned. I kept prodding at her knee in retaliation, and her continuous kicks against me were far more comforting than they should’ve been.

“You’ve got your sister’s silver tongue,” I commented as I relented with a smile. With a clearer head, I turned back to face Shining Armour and Cadence, who were just finishing up with exploring each other’s tonsils. “Look, nothing happened- we haven’t done anything…I haven’t used my ‘strong tongue’.”

Shining Armour seemed satisfied with this. “Good. Because I was imagining you and Twily…” He trailed off to my dismay. The stallion seemed unable to finish his statement, and the blush on Twilight’s face suggested that she was having a hard time deciding on whether that was a good thing or not.

“Please don’t imagine me like that…”

“Do you always think about that when you’re kissing your wife?”

Given the contents of the last twelve-or-so hours, lunch was greatly appreciated. In truth, I wasn’t feeling particularly hungry, but the large servings of some type of chili gave everyone else something different to focus on. At least, it was supposed to.

“So, David, what brings you to Canterlot?” Twilight Velvet asked me while the rest of the room were stuffing their faces. “Something tells me you’re not from around here.”

“That’s a…complicated question. Let’s just say, it was at the princess’ request. I don’t know how much I can really tell you, to be honest.”

I doubted the usefulness of being cryptic at this point, particularly as I was still unaware of what Twilight had been told, but it seemed like the appropriate thing to say. Although, I still couldn’t deal with the dead air that always followed my contributions. “Oh, while I remember, these are my er…these are my girls: Eve and Eva. Sorry about them jumping on your sofa.”

I gestured to the pair, who sat either side of me. As I spoke, Eve slammed her fork onto the table and started to speak, but her mouth was so full of food that it was easier to just ignore her.

“We know all about how rowdy foals can be. Twilight always used to get rowdy whenever her dad came home from work,” Mrs. Velvet commented, prodding at Twilight’s side. The alicorn in question tensed up from both the story and the physical contact, likely feeling a sense of impending doom.

“Mom!”

“She’d always jump on the couch, rolling around when he was there- she always loved belly rubs.”

“Mom, please…!”

I feel like we’ve been here before. It was hard to see who’d suffered the most today out of me and Twilight. But that didn’t mean that we were done yet. “There’s no shame in admitting it, Twilight! Maybe your friend here can give you one sometime,” Cadence called out to the shellshocked mare. In response, Twilight hid her head in her hooves and let out what was likely a wail of despair.

I felt a little bad watching her suffer. My heart went out to her- and I was more than likely going to join her by the end of the day. “Looks like she’ll be out for a while,” Cadence concluded as Twilight let out another muffled noise.

The pink one sat back, satisfied, while Shining Armour entered the conversation. “So, what do the princesses want from you?” he asked me, sternly pointing a hoof in my direction. I was unable to truly tell whether I was in trouble or not, so I leaned back in my chair and gave my explanation.

“I go around and deal with things that they don’t want to deal with. If Celestia has some troublemakers, she sends me in to sort them out. She says that there was a reason as to why I was picked, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was hiding something.”

Princess-related paranoia must’ve been uncommon in the Sparkle household, made clear by the silence that followed my minute ramble. Even Shining Armour, who looked like he meant business, lacked any form of follow up question. “…Is it just you and your foals?” Night Light eventually asked after some hesitation.

“I had to leave my family behind.”

“I see. That must be hard for you.”

Why was it getting to me? Something about his tone- it was trying to be comforting but it just wasn’t there. Who were these people? I couldn’t stand them.

I wanted to go home.

“It’s something that I’m slowly coming to terms with. The nights are lonely sometimes.”

That’s not what I meant to say.

You didn’t want to cooperate.

Something was wrong.

They’re looking at you again.

This wasn’t like how it was before.

Can you even tell the difference anymore?

Was Eva okay?

She was.

She always was.

The little one was just there, more focused on stuffing her face than listening to the conversation. I envied her. You wanted no part in this.

“Maybe you could make some more foals to keep you company.”

What was that? Was that who I thought it was? I’m sure it was Cadence with that comment- she’s about as subtle as a shovel to the face…

Cadence’s tone heavily implied that her suggestion was in-jest, but David certainly did not take it that way. Jaded, emotionally spent and in need of social reclusion, he felt himself reach the end of his rope as he scowled at the pink princess.

“You think this is a joke, don’t you?”

The room fell silent once more as David laid out his accusation. Cadence, considering the consequences of an escalation of events, stayed quiet and looked back at him with a neutral expression. Caught in the middle, Twilight sat motionless, holding her breath in preparation for what was to come.

“I see you there- wiggling your eyebrows, bumping elbows…it’s some kind of song and dance for you, isn’t it?”

All eyes were on the human at this point; the commotion had interrupted the two sisters’ meal and they too peered at him with concern. However, his only focus was on Cadence, who stood firm despite the glare that she continued to receive.

“I’m sorry if that’s what it sounded like. That wasn’t my-”

“You’ve been pushing me all morning. Yeah- I’m all alone- I have no one left now. Is that what you want me to say?”

“No, that’s not what I meant…”

It was unclear as to Cadence’s emotional investment into this exchange, although that was almost certainly irrelevant right now. With a sense of inevitability then, a small confrontation occurred, courtesy of David’s unravelling mental state.

“I’ve been taken from my home, trained under the falsehood that I’m some pseudo-bounty hunter for God-knows-how-long…”

His ragged breathing was audible whenever he paused. Harsh, shallow and dripping with disdain, his gasps between sentences hinted that a great amount of effort was being used to stop his voice from cracking. Aware of what that meant, Twilight felt as if acres of space had opened up between herself and her companion as she feebly reached out a hoof.

“I don’t need this- I want no part in this. It’s nothing more than a pantomime with a middling reception. Nobody cares anymore…”

It was unclear as to who the human was aiming his rant at. Maybe there was nobody in mind, as he spent much of his time staring off to the side, unwilling to observe his audience’s faces. His reason for doing this stayed within his own mind, although much could be inferred from his half-hearted attempt at confrontation.

“…And I’ve got sit with you lot because my own family won’t even get the chance to bury me!”

Uninterested in the offer of a response, David thrust his hands onto the tabletop and pushed himself out of his seat. He only made it halfway; he was brought back down as he felt something wrap around his torso. “Don’t be angry…” Eva begged him, arms locked tightly around his abdomen. Her large eyes conveyed an understanding that he had been longing for, and he placed his forehead on hers as a week’s worth of repression spilled from his eyelids.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” he croaked as he pulled the little one in and pressed her against him. Eva succumbed to her emotions as well, accepting a place to rest her head. Even as their collective sorrow broke forth, David was thankful of the volume of the girl’s cries- they did well to drown out his own.

To his right, Eve leaned against him, rubbing his arm and repeating the mantra, “It’s okay, it’s okay” until he and Eva had calmed down. Through teary eyes, he was unable to read the expression Eve’s face, and he lacked the capacity to care about any of the ponies that surrounded him, watching the scene unfold with varying emotions.

“So that’s their purpose…” Cadence mumbled to herself. She reflected on the confrontation with a smile, reaching some form of understanding. She felt Shining Armour wrap a hoof around her as he drew her in, calmly nuzzling her as the pair entered a short, hushed discussion.

Eventually, wiping his eyes, David recovered from his emotional collapse and focused on his comforter. “You’ve got a bit of food around your mouth, littlun,” he wearily stated, brushing a thumb around Eva’s lips and wiping away a red stain.

Focusing on one element had made him lose sight of another. “Are you okay?” Twilight asked him, far off to the side. Her outstretched hoof finally made contact with his arm, from which she gave him a few, light rubs of her own, lacking the strength that even the children had possessed before pulling away in shame.

David glanced at the mare as she retreated before scanning the room. “…I’m sorry for shouting at you. Especially you, Cadence,” he lamented, feeling a sense of whiplash from the experience. At the mention of her name, Cadence ended her conversation with Shining Armour and smiled at the human.

“It’s clear that Equestria has left its mark on you. Take care of him, Twilight.”

Once again, Twilight demonstrated her horrendous tolerance of social pressure by blushing and sinking back into her seat. David kept an eye on the mare’s escape attempt as he continued his list of apologies.

“I’m sorry for interrupting your dinner, Mrs. Velvet.”

“Think nothing of it, sweetie! You needed some time to grieve,” Mrs. Velvet reassured him, her tone of voice and facial expressions doing a far better job of providing emotional warmth than her daughter did. “If you ever need to go again, you make sure to call us, hun- you’ve got a friend in us.”

“…I’ll bear that in mind.”

“‘And with a *crash* and a *splash*, he hoisted up the sea…!’”

Sometime after dinner, Twilight found herself on the fringes of some kind of performance. A performance of sorts, at least, as David fired his way through one of the mare’s old story books. She had picked it out especially, given it was one of her favourites, and she found herself slipping into an old, childlike glee as the human before her retold the story in his own, endearing way.

“‘…And brought it thundering down onto the old oak tree…’”

She was intrigued to see that a small blush had presented itself on David’s face once she gave him the book, and that the redness had intensified with every page he turned. His audience paid it no mind, however; the girls were unable to take their eyes off of him, transfixed, as they clung onto every word that he boisterously projected.

“‘…And thus ends the tale of Wilber the Wisest Wyvern; a tale that-’”

“No! That can’t be the end!”

“Yeah, yeah- give me a minute. We’re not-”

“I don’t want it to end…”

“N-No, we’re not actually at the end, cherub. Th-There’s another couple of pages…”

“Willer the Wise’s Wither…”

Eventually, the story came to a close, and, whilst David bathed in his audience’s appreciation, Twilight approached him with a happy skip. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard that story,” she joyfully remarked, startling the human slightly with her positivity.

“Sorry if I didn’t do it justice- I need to work on my enunciation,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck and looking off to the side. He took a moment to study the book in his hands before it was wrenched away from him by an excited pair of hands.

“Read it again!” Eve called out to him as she scanned the book’s front cover. Wordlessly, David denied the girl’s request by yanking the book away from her and glancing up at Twilight, who began to speak again.

“It was wonderful. Thank y-”

“-Read it again…”

The mare was quickly interrupted as Eve once again attempted to pry the book away from David’s clutches. He held firm this time, however, and glared at the young girl, holding his stare until she began to understand the error of her ways. Slowly, the cogs in her head began to turn, and she backed away from her carer, trying her hardest to look as small as possible. “Sorry…”

“Not yet- I’m having a conversation. Why don’t you and Eva have a look at it?” David clarified before holding the book aloft once more. Soon enough, the book was back in Eve’s hands, but with one more warning for the raven-haired girl. “Hey- together, okay?”

“Okay!”

With that, Eve disappeared with her new prize, leaving Twilight to continue from where she left off. “They’re lucky to have such a good storyteller. Not many foals get that, sadly. Not from a stallion.”

“Yeah, they’ve needed this...” David concurred before rubbing a hand over his throat. “…And now my throat’s all sore, sorry.” He weakly chuckled to himself as he continued to massage the sides of his neck. As he was doing this, he noticed a glass of water floating inches from his face and gratefully accepted it. Twilight continued to speak whilst he drank.

“I’m sorry about all this. If I’d have known they’d be this…intense, then I would’ve let you stay at home.”

“Nah they’re good people. Strange characters, maybe, but they obviously want what’s best for you. I think.”

“If you’re okay…I don’t know why they were so forward with-”

“-D’you want a kiss, Twilight?”

“W-wha-!”

This dramatic shift in tone caught Twilight by surprise, and she showed it. David could not help but grin sadistically as he watched her mental collapse, enjoying the way she faltered as the distance between the pair closed. He had considered pinning her up against the wall to get the blood pumping, but he had no idea what he was doing, and Twilight was a bit too short for that, anyway.

“It’s the next step, innit- since we’ve already slept together.”

“Shh! My parents will hear us!”

“Don’t worry- they’re probably right behind this door. Right, guys?”

Whilst Twilight fought to instil some sense into the conversation, David did the opposite, banging on the door behind him to drum up the absurdity. He was rewarded for his assumption, as from behind the door came some worryingly eager encouragement.

“Go get ‘em, Twily!”

“It’s the moment of truth, baba!”

Twilight did not have quite the same amount of enthusiasm as her parents did. Perhaps understandably, she instead backed away from the door in bewilderment, unable to look anyone in the eye anymore. “…I am so embarrassed…” she muttered, only to be interrupted by a kiss on the cheek. “D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-”

Twilight’s imminent breakdown was greatly amusing to David, who wiped his lips with one hand and cupped the mare’s cheek with the other. “Thank you, Twilight. You’re so cute when you’re flustered,” he reasoned, revelling in the way that Twilight’s face continued to redden. “My head doesn’t work right now so I’ll probably regret that, but…” He trailed off with a soft chuckle, leaving Twilight perplexed about what she had just experienced.

“Did…Cadence do something to you?”

“Who knows at this point?”

With a sigh, she gently pushed David’s hand from her cheek. “You obviously need some rest,” the mare concluded as she struggled to respond to her senses. Her difficulty was largely ignored by David, who moved to round up his girls.

“Oh yeah- you’re taking me back to your place, aren’t you?”

Twilight hissed at his phrasing; she was sure that this was purposeful. Instinctively, she craned her neck to look back at the door, hoping that her parents had left it behind. True to form, however, the same pair of voices cried out in appreciation of their daughter’s purported seduction.

“You’ve got ‘em now, Twily!”

“Take the reigns, my dear!”

Her embarrassment now fully compounded, Twilight turned away from the door in disgust before considering her options. Faced with the inevitability that she would soon have to face her parents and their misplaced enthusiasm, she very quickly came to a surefire conclusion:

“I’m never coming back here…”

Just as the mare reached her verdict, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her torso as she was hoisted onto her hindlegs. She cried out in surprise as she was forced into her new position, but she lacked the strength to do anything other than watch as her forelegs lightly swung in front of her.

“C’mon then- let’s go. Gotta say goodbye to your family first,” David teased as he continued to play with Twilight’s body. Whilst he was sure that the mare would be less-than-impressed with her predicament, he was instead greeted by a small smirk.

“Can we just teleport to the station? I’ll send them a letter instead.”

Chapter 17: I'm Rooting for You

Well, today had been a bit of a bust. I’d let my emotions get the better of me, and, despite Mrs. Velvet’s reassurance, I’d managed to ruin a lovely family dinner. Eve, Eva- Twilight too, considering how her mental age changes scene-by-scene: none of them needed to see that.

But that time was behind us now; Ponyville awaited us as we sat once again in a rather familiar-feeling train carriage with the titular town in our sights. I didn’t know what time it was, what the weather was, what my name was…I wanted to go back to bed- and to be alone, to be honest. Solitude is so hard to come by sometimes.

Obviously, that wasn’t going to happen, and I’m not too sure why I keep mentioning it. Ironically, my party had increased in size as Twilight sat opposite me, noticeably calmer now that she’d escaped from her parents’ confusingly-motivated clutches.

“I still think that we should’ve said our goodbyes to your family,” I remarked to the mare, who showed a remarkable level of composure at the trauma that she’d been through. So much so, that she lay back across the seat-bench thing that she found herself on, gazing up at the ceiling with a defeated expression.

“I’m so sorry about today,” she reaffirmed once again. She’d done that a lot on the journey to the station. Interestingly, now that I’d simmered down from my little strop, my head was relatively clear, leaving Twilight to suffer on her own. “I shouldn’t have made you come.”

It was strange seeing her like this- so…defeated, I suppose. This was different from her usual awkward energy. I guess there was no energy at all. “Lighten up, kiddo. It was an interesting day out, after all,” I reassured the mare to little effect. I poked at one of her forelegs as it hung limply off the side of her seat, again eliciting barely a flinch.

“But I ruined your day off…”

That was true. I wasn’t going to tell her that, but…mental note. Did I have anything planned that day? I don’t know. I think something was in my drink. It was my turn to lay back now as I also struggled to put today behind me, albeit for different reasons than Twilight. “At least I didn’t get killed…”

I really should stop talking about my imminent death when on a train journey, as Twilight, like Fairfeather before her, seemed to take this comment to heart. The way she showed this, though, was quite different. Without warning, I felt a sudden weight drop onto my crotch as Twilight seemed to deem it necessary to sit there. “Don’t get yourself hurt this time, okay?” she flat-out told me, though she lacked authority in her voice.

It was a mystery as to whether she understood the implications of sitting in such an area, even when dealing with such an apparently grave topic, but I think she did. “You taking your parents’ advice a bit more seriously now, Twilight?” I teased her, placing my hands on her sides and pushing her hips back slightly. Thank God there was no one else in here.

“Shut up,” the mare amusedly fired back, having now completely lost any power behind her words as she allowed herself to be rocked back-and-forth. Of course, she couldn’t look at me. The floor must’ve been much easier for her to set her sights on. Her gaze was evasive; her blush was apparent- but she didn’t stop me.

I guess instincts take over after a while because I didn’t feel like giving in either, even as my own body temperature continued to rise. With every push, my hands wandered further down the mare’s body, soon coming into contact with the soft flesh on her flanks.

I instantly felt her muscles clench as I made contact. Looking up at Twilight, she continued to glance off to the side as she bit her lip and scrunched her face up in concentration. I’m not sure whether this had happened recently or not, but her hair had fallen mostly out of place, leaving her bangs to haphazardly fall in front of her face.

The figure that filled my vision painted a picture of carelessness- the disengagement of the mind. As her head idly bobbed back-and-forth, every unkempt strand of hair appeared to be a miniature paintbrush that contributed to a portrait that I was desperate to see at its completion.

Suddenly, she forced herself to make eye contact with me. With impossibly wide eyes, she uneasily stared down at me, mouth agape as she made a split-second decision. Up until this moment, I never would’ve believed that my heart could beat as quickly as it currently did as I realised what she was planning to do.

Surely, I can’t do this.

We’re not the same.

She’s not like me.

What is she to you, David?

Any relationship would never work.

Then why does it feel so-

“What are you doing?” a tired voice called out from beside. Oh fuck- I forgot about the kids. Eve to be precise, as she must’ve awoken from her little nap a short distance away. I think she was asleep at least. Please tell me she was asleep.

Either way, as if we were in a mediocre rom-com, Twilight and I’s…special time was abruptly cut short by a child’s innocent intervention.

“We’re…allowing the day’s events to get the better of us,” I admitted, pushing Twilight from her perch above my crotch and watching her fall lifelessly onto the seat beside me as if she’d been turned to stone. That was a close one- a little bit too close to me doing something that I’d regret. Love ya for that one, Eve. “How you feeling, littlun?”

“Tired.”

Well, she didn’t comment on anything, so that was probably a good sign. Stuff like that is impossible enough for a child to understand at the best of times, so seeing that might’ve caused the poor girl’s head to catch fire. Or maybe she was just tired- she said so at least. That’s one of the things I hate about being on the move so much: you can never go to bed when you want to.

“I know, I know. You can go to bed soon,” I reassured the little one as she made her obligatory shuffle towards me. Naturally, Eva was in tow, and the mere sight of her brought the memories from that lunch right back to me. I don’t think she’d be able to understand what she did for me. I’m so overrun right now.

My head was so fucked.

“And what about you, cherub? You saved me earlier- brought me back a little bit,” I beckoned the eager inquisitor. She didn’t answer me verbally, and I didn’t need her to do so; her body pressing against mine was all I needed. Words certainly weren’t her primary method of communication.

Although Twilight wasn’t doing much better. I don’t even think she’d moved yet. That little interruption must’ve really taken the wind out of her sails. “Come on, Twilight. Come on back to us,” I egged on the prone mare as she looked just about ready to get moving.

“What’s wrong with her?” Eve bluntly asked as she pointed a thumb over her shoulder. It was funny to look at Twilight’s overreaction. You’re such an idiot, you purple fuzzball.

“She’s been through a lot today, too.”

“Is she okay?” Eva added. She looked to be a little more invested in Twilight’s predicament than Eve was, and she spent a good while observing the mare throughout her recovery process.

“She’ll be fine,” I reassured the duo with a couple of pats on Twilight’s arse. “Absolutely fine.” Once again, I could feel her muscles tense as my hand connected with her flank. One day I might be able to get a better grip of…oh, bloody hell, I’m falling for a horse, aren’t I?

“Why are we back on the train?” Eva asked to snap me out of my trance. Oh yeah- I hadn’t told them anything, had I? Well, here goes nothing. Fingers crossed and all that.

“Because we need to go back to Ponyville so I can do something for the princess,” I explained before clarifying further upon seeing the girls’ reactions. “Hey, no- just for the night. I’ll put you to bed at night and then I’ll be back by the time you get up in the morning. I want no more theatrics- you know how it went last time, so don’t worry.”

The results of this were hardly astounding- but they were better. Eva didn’t look as if her family had just been murdered in front of her, and Eve just looked a bit pissed off if I’m honest.

“Okay…” the pair unanimously agreed- and that was good enough for me. I wasn’t leaving until tomorrow evening anyway- there’ll be more time for the news to settle this time.

“Care to tell me why Princess Celestia sends you on these dangerous adventures?” came the voice of Twilight, oddly smug considering that she was in a coma about two minutes ago. I wasn’t letting her get away with that.

“You’ve perked up,” I teased the intruder, eliciting another pretty little blush. “Listen, I’m under strict instructions to keep my lips sealed. Probably. I’m sure you can understand that I can’t just not do what I’ve been told.” I sat back with my arms crossed to show everyone that I was speaking from a shaky position of superiority.

“Hasn’t stopped you before,” Eve commented matter-of-factly. She didn’t even look at me as she broke my ego, happy to just glance at her shoes as she swung her legs.

“And you don’t do what Mrs. Stuart tells you to,” Eva elaborated. Such nerve. It all seemed a bit unfair- ganging up on me like that.

“I always do what Mrs. Stuart tells me to do. Stops me from getting kicked out.”

“What about when you get us clean paper from the printer so that we don’t have to use the rough paper?”

“You should be grateful of that. I tell you every time that I shouldn’t be doing it.”

“And yet you do it anyway,” Twilight concluded with a smile.

“They’re too cute,” I explained. I gestured to the duo in question, who looked back at me with the most adorable pair of smiles. “And you should stop asking if you know it’s bad,” I quickly added, pointing a finger accusingly at the little ones as they started to giggle along.

“But do come back. Or I’ll be mad. You wouldn’t like me when I’m mad,” Twilight suddenly interjected, though still lacking much force behind what her statements. She sounded like a little kid, somehow simultaneously complimenting and clashing heavily with the mental image of that weird little dance she was doing with Cadence earlier today. ‘Do a little shake’ indeed.

“Ah, yes- we’ve witnessed, first-hand, your authoritarianism.”

Good news, everyone: it was time for another day out. After a thankfully uneventful- for Twilight’s standards, at least- evening and following morning, the purple alicorn had expressed her desire to show me around town. See the sights and whatever-the-hell.

And then off she went. Just like that. I certainly felt more comfortable with Twilight being my guide now. Things could never be worse than that awful walk to Rarity’s.

My new guide refused to tell me where we’d be going, only telling me that it’d be a place that both me and my little ones would surely enjoy. I didn’t know Twilight was such a kid-whisperer. That doesn’t…actually, maybe it does sound like something she’d do.

Regardless, we were on the move- calm, rested and…oh, Eve was running off again. Well, only momentarily, and she suddenly stopped in front of a small building- and it was clear to see why. What a strange looking place. It smelled divine, but it looked to be made of something strange. Something unexpected. It looked suspiciously like…what did I hate baking again?

Oh, you’re fu-

“Gingerbread!” Eve cried out to the heavens. Well, it’s only fitting, I suppose, that in a land of pretty pink and purple ponies that there was a house made entirely out of sweet treats.

I was expecting to be thrust into a chase scene, but Eve was having a hard time getting going, running on the spot like the speed that she was preparing to go at was so incalculable that it required some kind of wind-up animation.

“No,” I defied the girl’s wonder by grabbing her arm. Thank God that she was so overawed by the spectacle that she hadn’t gotten Eva involved. “We are not American. We will enter the sugar cake-house with dignity and respect.”

“Huh? Can we go in?” Eve answered back, missing the point.

“This is Sugarcube Corner: home of the best sweet treats in Ponyville,” Twilight explained without anyone asking. I’ll admit: my sweet tooth started calling out to me as I was ready to collapse into the waiting arms of whatever-the-hell qualifies for ‘sweet treats’ around here. No doubt it included stuff like…

“Like gingerbread…” Eve breathed.

“Like gingerbread…” Eva concurred.

“…Like gingerbread?” I sought to confirm. What was it with gingerbread? Like, it’s good, but it’s not worth obsessing over like this.

“Like gingerbread,” Twilight confirmed. She wandered over to me, making an effort to step around the river of drool that was coming out of the little ones’ mouths. “I always feel better whenever I come to Sugarcube corner, and I thought you could use a pick-me-up.”

“You buy stuff from here?” I asked the mare, who nodded in affirmation. “That’s surprising. You seem more like a ‘coffee with cigarettes’ kind of person.”

Twilight didn’t seem to be particularly pleased with this assumption. I know this because she ‘accidentally’ squeezed on my arm as I held Eve down, allowing her to wriggle free and scamper into Sugarcube Corner. With Eve disappearing from sight, Eva also found no reason to stay and went in after her sister.

“You did that on purpose,” I grumbled as I rubbed at my stinging forearm. Twilight must’ve had a lot of confidence in the girls’ ability to not get themselves killed if she was willing to unleash them over such a petty reason. Not what I’d expect from Twilight Light.

“Your foals are getting away…” she reminded me with a sly smile. Ooh, she didn’t even try to hide it. I see how it works. Just you wait.

“No more cigarettes for you, missy.”

It was easy to find the girls: just look where everyone else was looking. I guess that’s one of the benefits of being a comparative freak-of-nature: you’re pretty hard to miss. So, I went over to the pair as they were getting ready to sink their teeth into what the building had to offer.

“It might not be real ging- no: don’t eat the pillars!”

Great. Now everyone was looking at me. Thankfully, though, that included the little ones, who delayed any attempts to chow down on the foundations. “If they were real gingerbread, someone would’ve eaten them by now,” I explained to them.

“Like me!” called out a loud, squeaky voice behind me.

“Oh, Jesus!”

I instinctively jumped away from the new intruder, smacking the back of my head on Twilight as I hurtled towards the floor. Eventually, I got a good look at this new pony, although I had a hard time doing so due to her inability to stand still. She was some pink thing: puffy and always bouncing as if it was a survival instinct. Think ‘sharks always need to move forward’ and you’ll kind of get the idea.

She seemed like a cheery soul; maybe a bit low on the ol’ attention span, but we’ve all been there. As expected, she did well to captivate the little ones, as they made an immediate rush to place their hands all over the mare’s pink fur, placing their fingers in every furrow they could find.

The pink one thankfully paid this no mind- although she’d ceased her bouncing as she prepared to eloquently elaborate on her introduction. “But that wouldn’t work. Even if I was hungry- like, suuuuuper hungry- like ‘oh my gosh I’m gonna explode from the crippling emptiness inside’ kinda hungry, I couldn’t do it ‘cause it’d go *bloosh* and then a *Wazoom* and then we’d go *bleghhh*!”

She ended her manic elaboration by drooping herself down- quite literally in fact, as her mane seemed to deflate with a slight squeak. I didn’t understand a word that she said as she fired them out with no regard for how it would all look if it was ever written out. I could see where this was going, so I did the responsible thing and pushed myself off the ground and headed for the door.

“No!” Twilight cried, having spotted my retreat and grabbing my arm accordingly. “You’re not going anywhere! This is Pinkie Pie,” she continued. “She’s our signature laughter expert. Nopony’s happier than Pinkie Pie.”

Although I found Twilight’s dialogue to be quite stilted, this ‘Pinkie Pie’ person seemed alright. I just hope that she has more social awareness than Twilight does. “…Nice to see you, Pinkie Pie,” I tepidly began, hating how ridiculous my life sounded in that moment. “Lovely place you’ve got he- would you two please unhand the poor lady: she’s not yours to cling onto.”

“But she’s so pretty…” Eve reasoned as she rubbed her face in Pinkie Pie’s pinkie pink fur. Eva, however, seemed to have sensed something as she began to separate from her entranced sister and wander back to me. Still, it caused Miss Pie to puff herself back up again.

“Somepony’s never had a pinch of a Pinkie Pie!” the titular Pie proclaimed with a slightly predatory level of enthusiasm. A notch or two away from having an unmarked van parked outside the property.

“Don’t refer to yourself in the third person,” I beseeched Pinkie as I peeled Eve away from her. The little girl gave far more resistance to this action than I was expecting. “Somebody should’ve taught you self-restraint,” I added, trying to drag Eve out of her pink-tinted haze.

“I think that’s your job,” Twilight smugly stated. Oh dear, Twilight: you were in for some shit soon- courtesy of our pink friend here.

“Ooh…”

“That didn’t warrant an ‘ooh…’”

“…This is the stallion you were talking about, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie continued to herself before pointing at me. “She’s been yap-yap-yapping all the time about you- you know: the dates, the foals, about how your family’s dead…”

“Pinkie…” Twilight warned, in a way that felt painfully familiar. It seemed that everywhere the poor alicorn went, some cataclysmic force sought to embarrass her in every way possible. This time, of course, it was the pinkster, as we were all about to bear witness to a mare’s melted mind ever-so graciously flow out of their mouth.

“Is she your special somepony? How long have you been together? Have I met you before? I’m sure I’ve met you before…”

I wasn’t going to deal with this. Feeling an incredible urge to go the toilet, I made another attempt at an escape but was quickly thwarted by Eva, who held onto me and solemnly shook her head in the strongest display of ‘this is a nightmare’ that she could muster. This didn’t stop our pink friend from bouncing off the walls as she continued her interrogation.

“Ooh, I get it: you’re playing dumb. Or maybe you’re taking it slow- y’know: ‘cause Twilight’s never had a special somepony. Poor Twilight. She’s so nervous about what to say, what to do…Look how nervous she is: she can’t even move! Sigh…”

“…Did you just say ‘sigh’ out loud?”

She just kept going. It was insane. She was like some sort of verbal whirlpool- taking every word there was and sucking them all into this quantity-over-quality mass of low-hanging bollocks.

I looked over to Twilight to find that the alicorn was indeed rooted to the spot, although probably not for the reasons Pinkie- oh God: she was starting again…

“Buuut…you look like you know what you’re doing. You wear the pants. Get it? ‘Cause ponies don’t wear pants. Do you think Twilight would look good in pants? I think Twilight would be the best…”

I’m gonna spare you some of this dialogue because, Christ, we could be here for hours. Let’s just skip to the good bit.

“…Have you had a special somepony before? Twilight wouldn’t like that. That’d make her jealous! Or mad. You wouldn’t like her when she’s mad! She’s scary!” Pinkie Pie arguably explained before she bounced right into my face and pressed one of her hooves on my trousers’ waistband. “P.S.: she wants to see how big your-”

“Stop! Twilight screeched upon apparently reaching her limit. With an audible “whoop!”, Pinkie was hoisted into the air and held upside down in Twilight’s magic, where she, naturally, continued to fucking talk.

“Did somepony say something? What did I say? What did you say, Twilight’s special somepony?”

Mental illness must’ve been a serious epidemic in Equestria; everyone’s got something wrong with them. Whether this world exists in a similar vein to that SpongeBob theory where every character is one of the deadly sins or not...I don’t know. Don’t ask me- I only work here.

“I have no idea what a special somepony is, means, or could be- and now’s not the time to be talking about this,” I clarified with a strong shake of the arms. I mean, I did know. I think. It seemed pretty obvious, but it’d be better for everpony if I just played dumb. Although I’m sure I could only be so dense for so long. “Can we just…slow down for a moment please?”

“Okie dokie. We’ll keep it slooooooow,” Pinkie reassured me, still floating in front of my face, and incredibly calm considering the circumstances. She stayed true to her word as well, speaking at such a slow pace that no level of word-elongation could ever do her justice. I wasn’t impressed.

“I want to die.”

“Suuuuuper duuuuuper sloooooooow.”

“I hate this story.”

I needed to get away from this- and thankfully, I was given a lifeline. Catching their movements in the corner of my eye, I followed the little ones as they inevitably left me again to press their faces into the sweet display. Luckily, a steamed-up pane of glass separated them from their future snack, but I still knew that I’d be spending a lot of money in this place.

“You can’t just keep running off,” I calmly chastised the duo, more defeated than anything. I bet Pinkie Pie feasts on childish enthusiasm like some sort of impetuous vampire.

“But look,” Eve attempted to reason to me. “They’ve got cookies and cupcakes and cakes with icing and cookies with icing and-”

I hoisted the girl away from the desserts and back to reality. “They might do, but that doesn’t mean they’re for us,” I explained, hopefully stating the obvious. Eve sagged a bit in response to this. But I knew what she was like, and, more importantly, she knew what I was like, so it was only a matter of time before she began to try again.

“But I want one…”

“Don’t make me say the line.”

“What line?”

“That ‘I want’ doesn’t get.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Eva explained to me, neutral to a fault as she continued to lean on the glass in front of her.

“It does when I’m paying.”

“But you said you’d get me something,” Eve added, picking up from where her sister had left off.

“When did I say that?”

“When you went to do the thing you did. You said you’d get me something.”

“…”

“Did you forget?” Eva questioned, still difficult to read, and still attached to the display.

“You forgot!” Eve declared with more positivity than I was expecting.

“Now you owe us!” Eva happily concurred. It seemed that the concept of someone being in debt to them was rather appealing. Maybe set off by the optimism in the air, I became aware of Pinkie Pie’s presence once more as she continued to witter on, hanging in the air behind me.

“…But I need to get back to work. I can’t make anything when I’m like this. Let’s go!”

And so, still in suspension, the pink one just…walked off. While still upside down. And with nothing to push off of. She broke free from her restraints…purely because she wanted to. Fuck me.

And Twilight didn’t seem too bothered with the sodomy of her magical shackles. She’d gotten herself in order and was happy to come and join us. “Lunch is on me!” the little alicorn declared, hoisting up a small bag of bits that she must’ve been carrying in some sodden depository.

“Don’t buy their affection,” I calmly admonished, placing a hand on Twilight’s head. An instinctive mane-ruffling followed, after which the mare in my grasp looked up at me smugly.

“Do you want to pay?”

“No…”

“Then, I’m buying your affection!”

“I thought it was ‘their affection’, Twilight.”

“What did I say?”

I have nothing of value to add at this point. “I’m going outside,” I announced before- predictably- being stopped once more.

“Are you paying or not?” Eve asked me as she hung from my arm, one wrong move away from ripping it from my shoulder.

“No, I’m not,” I countered. “Turns out, Twilight is.”

“Twilight is what?”

“I don’t…She-she’s paying. She’s paying, Eva.”

After ordering some random desserts, which Twilight was reluctant to do now that she was paying, I could be found slumped over at a small table in Sugarcube Corner. It was the allure of something sweet that brought me to this little place, and so far, the prospect of some sugar was the only thing keeping me here.

But fuck me, they were good. I hadn’t been in Equestria for long enough to lose a disproportionate amount of weight yet, but I’d been starved of sugar for like…four days or something, so I was ready to devour all the chocolate, vanilla, and whatever else that stood in my way.

A vanilla milkshake, to be precise. One with…two straws in it. Imagine my surprise…if only because Twilight also seemed confused by this development. I have learned ostensibly that she’s never been a very good liar, and the way that she blankly stared at the oncoming beverage suggested that she was just as unenthused as I was.

“Did you do that?” I tentatively asked my purple friend. She merely shook her head, albeit incredibly rapidly, seemingly at a loss for words. Sharing Twilight’s pain, my heart had picked up the pace at this point, but I felt like having a bit of a play. “Do you want to share?”

As I asked this question, the events of the previous night periodically played back to me, as if they were projected onto my eyelids every time I closed my eyes. The look on her face; the warmth of her breath; the feel of her on my fingers.

I couldn’t discern how it all made me feel, but I doubted that my companion would be much better. The mare wordlessly accepted my offer by beginning to move herself towards one of the straws. Yet, just as she was about to start sucking…

“I wanna share!”

Ah yes. Obviously reluctant to settle with her assortment of desserts, Eve had found something wrong with the situation. She wrenched the milkshake from Twilight before presenting it to me with both hands. “For you,” she explained while attempting the perilous task of holding the beverage aloft while also trying to drink it herself.

“That’s not yours to give,” I reasoned as I took the milkshake from her. “Have your cupcakes.”

“Why can’t I have that?”

“Because it’s not yours. Simple.”

“Can you buy me one, then?”

The girl’s desire to take away my dessert was lost on me. You’re damn right that I kept it away from her, although the opportunity for Twilight-teasing had likely passed. I don’t know why Eve had suddenly become so possessive.

Oh, and then Pinkie Pie showed up again. Y’know if you’re ever feeling the heat and you need somebody to bring you back down with some reassurance and agreeable conversation, you can always rely on…what was it? Our signature laughter expert? Christ, this is such a mess…

“Here’s another one!” Pinkie announced, carrying an identical milkshake on her back- two straws and all. This had the potential of adding to the conflict, but I instead saw it as a way of eliminating it altogether.

“If I have this, can you have that?” I asked Eve, using my hands to highlight the deal.

“Can I have yours?” she quickly asked me straight back. She looked at me with such innocent joy in an exchange that I had a habit of losing.

“Okay, if I have that, can you have this?”

“Can I have yours?”

“We’re going round in circles. I don’t see why-”

“Share with me!”

I was taken aback as Eve screamed at me, drawing the attention of not only myself, but the people around us. The sound caused me to jump, and for what reason? From the look on the girl’s face, it didn’t even look like she meant it. “I’m sorry,” she had added almost immediately, as if her mind had caught up with her emotions.

“Don’t raise your voice at me…” I quietly warned the little one, feeling my heartrate quicken for a moment. I glared down at her as she glanced back uneasily. Looking at her, it was clear from her expression that there wasn’t any point taking this further, so I offered her the drink that she so desperately wanted to share.

Eve kept an eye on me as she warily accepted the invitation with a slurp. “Don’t drink all of it,” I calmly reminded her as I watched the smile return to her face. There was some enjoyment in that smile, so I took that as a sign that I should dig in as well.

The milkshake itself was divine, but I wasn’t allowed to savour it for long, as, predictably, Eva appeared out of nowhere to proudly thrust a straw of her own into the drink. I don’t know how all of them fit, but my beloved milkshake promptly disappeared at an alarming rate.

Still, that left one milkshake all alone, neglected. I didn’t feel as if I had the stomach for it in that moment- but that certainly didn’t dissuade my pink friend. Just as the situation resolved itself, she snapped into reality behind me and lightly pushed my head towards Twilight’s, whom I admired in her silence. “Try it…”

“You’re a borderline sex pest,” I commented as I felt my face flush. This was stupid- and outrageously taxing- but fuck it. “Come on- let’s do it, Twilight. Get over yourself.”

“I think I’ll pass…er, if that’s okay with you,” the mare stammered in response. “I want to talk about what’s happening tonight- now that we’re in a good place.”

Pinkie Pie took that as her cue to leave, disappearing back to whence she came. Still, that’s the reason we came here. Twilight actually thought of a good plan for once. She’s such a smarty when she wants to be.

“What about it?” I quizzed the mare, needing more information from her. I didn’t want to look at the little ones, as I was hoping that we could keep this as positive and stress-free as possible.

“Don’t get yourself killed.”

All eyes snapped straight to Twilight as she laid out her thoughts. “I just…with your arm and you haven’t been back for long and they’re sending you out again and…I would never want you to disobey the princess’ orders, but…”

She’d started off so strong, but her strength seemed to dissipate with every ellipsis. All that gusto just to sit there wordlessly, begging for an answer. “You’re just a slightly more eloquent child- you know that?” I reassured the mare as I moved to close the distance between us.

Or at least, I tried; it’s hard to move about when you’ve got two children dragging you down at all times. Thankfully, Twilight did much of the moving for me, pulling herself closer before grabbing my hands with her forehooves. With this, she offered another piece of advice:

“Please don’t get hurt…”

“Relax…” I replied, doing my best to lean back despite the two children anchoring me to the ground. “It’ll be like last time.”

“Yes- last time,” Twilight responded, gripping my left arm and gently lifting it in her magic. She rubbed at my skin, nearly setting the hairs on my arm alight from the friction. “You’re not taking this seriously!”

I worked to free my arm from the mare’s magical grasp, but I didn’t really know where to start. “Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best way of phrasing it,” I conceded. “It’ll be fine; I’ll just do this stupid thing and then I- ow: that’s my ribs, that’s my ribs, that’s my ribs!”

I reeled in pain from the sudden pressure against my ribcage. I instinctively went to smack the attacker, stopping once I heard her squee in delight. “I’m not letting you leave!” Eva cried out in joy for whatever reason, paying no mind to how much pain her elbow was causing.

“You have to stay here!” Eve concurred, I suppose. They didn’t seem bothered by the dour conversation in the slightest. Maybe we should have milkshakes more often.

“See- they’re taking it better than you,” I told Twilight with a smile. I was hoping that this would lighten the mood, but I was obviously mistaken.

“That’s because…” the mare replied before cutting herself off with a sigh. “There’s a lot of dangerous creatures in the Everfree Forest. Please just tell me that you’ll try to be careful- even if you don’t mean it.”

“What do you take me for?” I sarcastically questioned. Again, I desperately wanted to find some joy within this exchange. There was none to be found, so I took a moment before adding something that I should’ve said in the first place. “I’ll try. I guess I shouldn’t overthing thinks…er, overthink things.”

This made Twilight giggle a bit, although I didn’t know if the positivity would last. But she needn’t’ve been so worried; I’d be back for the kids before she even knew that I was gone. Maybe she knew that, or maybe she was only psyching herself up as she offered a final comment.

“I’m rooting for you.”

Chapter 18: 100 Duck-Sized Horses

Let’s fast forward a bit. To the evening and the entrance of the Everfree Forest, specifically. Following a fairly nondescript afternoon, I found myself facing the comparative freedom of the woodland in front of me. No kids; no Twilight. It was just me in my purported element with some big dumb block of cork on my back.

Oh, and Fairfeather was here too. He’d arrived moments earlier, all stoic and covered in faux-foliage like we were going to Pripyat. Did those stupid bird-things track people purely through sight? I dunno. They’re birds.

Birds that lived somewhere in this forest. A vast expanse of trees that fought for space within my vision. The sun had set a while ago, leaving the land to become shrouded in darkness- but even during the day, I doubted the sunlight’s ability to break through the tangle of branches that seemed hellbent on preventing any access to the woodland within.

“This doesn’t look like the friendliest place to be,” I summarised as I took in the near-pitch-black expanse that lay just out of reach. I guess some voids are more comforting than others.

Keeping the mood as dour as possible, Fairfeather simply replied as he stepped into the darkness. “Nowhere in Equestria’s very friendly. Remember last time?”

“Yes- last time,” I responded, lifting my left arm and running the fingers of my other hand along the skin. The surface was smooth, and the lack of friction along my scar suggested that my arm had recovered from the trauma well, yet it was still obvious that its recovery wasn’t exactly what you’d call ‘natural’.

“It’s just like that- except, instead of one big thing trying to kill you, it’s a swarm of little things trying to kill you.”

“100 duck-sized horses…” I mused as a familiar ‘would you rather’ question popped into my head. The fictional conundrum weighed heavily on my mind, causing me to lose sight of where I was for a moment.

It was easy to get lost amidst the tangled branches that regularly hung low enough to scratch along my face. It all looked so monotonous; no new sights to see, no changes in elevation. The lifelessness of it all got to me; the place radiated an aura that strongly advised me to leave it alone so that it could decay in peace.

“Think fast!” Fairfeather suddenly screeched in my direction as he thrusted one of his arrows towards my throat. Even though his outburst scared the life out of me, I didn’t think fast enough, as the arrow in question gently brushed against my neck.

“You’re dead,” the griffon continued, calm and smug in his assertion. “Gotta think faster than that, otherwise you- yi-!”

Again, the griffon’s yelp scared me far more than his weaponry did. Having apparently spotted something further ahead, he had made an instinctive dive into a nearby bush, colliding noisily with the dead leaves within.

He eventually poked his head out of the foliage, scanning around while I did my best to stand in his way and block his vision. “You think too fast. And you look ridiculous.”

I gave the griffon an obligatory whack to the back of his head before continuing down the path without him. This whole thing was silly; we were out here to shoot some birds out of the sky and that was it. There’s nothing else here.

I was busy pulling small splinters out of my hand when I heard Fairfeather fall in behind me again. “You always need to be on your guard!” he told me, as if I was actually interested in his behaviour.

“It explains why you’re going grey so early. Now come on- let’s get this over with.”

Our journey was nondescript for a while, only following the same narrow path down an equally narrow space between columns of trees. Thankfully- and I do mean thankfully- Fairfeather eventually forced the two of us towards some kind of rocky canyon, or at least the outside of it.

From what Fairfeather had told me on the way to this place, we weren’t too far away from our objective. Oh yeah, and this place was cooler than going the same boring route apparently, although Fairfeather didn’t seem particularly interested in the landscape.

I was, though. We’d found ourselves along the rim of the thing, staring down into the miniature chasm. What should have been just a load of monochrome stone occasionally glistened with small tinges of cold pastel colours that seemed to blend together as their intensity increased.

The light that the colours generated were captivating and almost outright stated that there was something more beneath the cracks. Unfortunately for me, Fairfeather took no notice of any of this, uninterested in anything other than making it to our objective.

“So, how’s life in big-ol’ Equestria suiting ya?” the griffon soon asked me as we made our way from the canyon, oddly calm given the circumstances. Maybe that was because he could fly over the perilous cliffs, the lucky bastard.

“It’s fast paced; I’ll give it that,” I answered absentmindedly, looking back to take one final look at the colours. “I don’t know how to describe it- my head hasn’t caught up yet, I don’t think.”

“You don’t think?”

“I don’t think.”

With that insightful bit of dialogue, we continued in silence for a few moments. The problem with this was that the pause gave Fairfeather time to think, and he naturally began to probe.

“Has that piece left your side yet?”

And the problem with that was that I was being dragged into a familiar feeling of latent sexual tension. Not to my benefit, of course- but everyone else had some form of desire to see me grind against that autistic little pony.

“She…has a habit of inserting herself into my plans. Worryingly invested as well. I don’t know why she allows my wellbeing to weigh her mind down as much as she does.”

A lack of conviction seemed to be commonplace whenever I spoke about my private life. So much so, that Fairfeather’s probing stopped just as quickly as it started, although perhaps the area that we’d stumbled into had something to do with that as well.

The narrow path that we found ourselves on eventually opened up to reveal a large clearing. Unlike the rest of the forest, this area was devoid of trees, revealing the night sky above and allowing the light of the moon to illuminate the swamp in dim light.

Fairfeather was right to refer to this place as ‘swampland’. The place was caked in some foul-looking liquid that periodically bubbled like it was in the process of boiling over. I was concerned about what would happen if I stepped in it.

This wasn’t a problem for the griffon as, despite having the ability to fly, trudged forward into the muck, showcasing both its shallowness and its inability to harm anyone who stepped foot in it. He initially said nothing, but no news is good news, so I quietly followed my friend into the knee-deep mess.

“Come on in- the water’s fine!” Fairfeather called out just as I was gearing myself up to trudge into the sludge. I wasn’t sure if I believed him; I hated the way it’d already stuck to the feathers along his stomach.

“Is this even water?” I asked him as I became of aware of the substance beginning to crawl up my skin. My discomfort was largely ignored by Fairfeather, who chuckled to himself in response to my question.

“Wa’er…” he amusedly mused before cutting himself off. “No, it’s not water- not the type of water that the ponies know. The clouds move on their own ‘round here- this place’s got its own climate; its own little atmosphere.”

“Wait, they don’t move on their own everywhere else?”

Despite my heavy desire to get to the other side of this swamp, I stood in place and stared at the ground as my mind worked its way through such a ridiculous concept. Surely, we were at the point where people were just taking the piss? Although, on the other hand it would explain why the weather’s so peachy these days…

“Do those guys tell you anything?” the griffon asked with a hint of exasperation. “Weather squads? The cloud factory…?” A single shake was all that was needed for him to give up on trying to explain. “Well, they do. Go read a book or something, geez…”

“I read one about dragon lilies.”

“Not about clouds though. C’mon now- those birds can’t be far. We’re sitting ducks in this state.”

The griffon had a point. I didn’t know where the birds would be coming from, but I’d always have preferred the opportunity to run away. I couldn’t really afford to lose my other arm.

And I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to move very fast in this fluid, although it was admittedly very enjoyable to wade through. It was so warm and it sucked me in like something out of a fetish novel. Not even difficult to pull out of either- the best of both worlds.

“Stop splashing and listen.”

With a rehearsed stoicism, Fairfeather brought me back to reality as he lowered himself down slightly, entering a crouch that left him just above the water’s surface. He made no attempt to look in my direction, so I imagined that he was talking himself through his own little routine. “Eyes up.”

I wordlessly followed his instruction, spotting a large gathering of birds a good distance away from me. Even from this distance, they were larger than I was expecting- maybe the size of a crow- and I could see their beaks shimmer in what little light there was, even from this far back.

The…flock, I’m assuming, seemed to just be minding their own business, and if I wasn’t already told that they were dangerous, I wouldn’t have had any concern with just walking around them.

Even now, presented as this force of nature that must be destroyed, a large group of them hovered in place, chasing each other around like I was witnessing an impromptu playdate. There was a chance of course that they were fiercely territorial- but I didn’t see it that way.

“Maybe a couple dozen. Thin ‘em out slowly. Most of ‘em are cowards anyway…!”

It was during my continued observation that I watched one of Fairfeather’s arrows scythe through the birds’ gathering, followed by one of the little buggers dropping to the ground and into the muck below. It kind of hurt to watch one of them fall out of the sky like that.

The splash it created reminded me of how bad a position I was in- and made me wonder why the hell Fairfeather had decided to choose this opportunity to strike. Still, that shouldn’t have been the most pertinent thought in my mind at that point.

I needed to get out of the swamp- or to join in with the assault. I didn’t really know which one to choose, so I tried to do both, erratically firing away while moving to towards the nearest patch of land. I made no real progress with either objective, as the swamp itself suddenly began to feel particularly difficult to move through.

Clearly, I wasn’t in the best position to be going on the offensive; it was as if the swamp itself was holding me down to voice its displeasure. It got to the point where I needed to physically wrench my leg out of the ooze at one stage, which left me painfully vulnerable to the screeching above.

A stinging pain in my right shoulder reminded me of the predicament I was in. Fairfeather be damned- these things were coming for me. One of them must’ve gone in for me as I felt a familiar wetness soaking into my sleeve. What scared me was that I hadn’t even notice it hit me.

But I certainly heard it. I could only track them with sound, such was their speed, and the sensation in my shoulder made it hard for me to focus. It was just a blur of colour as a small group of them blitzed above me, occasionally plunging down with shrieks like dive bombers.

Sure enough, another couple of hits to my chest was enough to send me backwards and under the water. I didn’t even get a chance to breathe before I went down, causing some of the swamp’s contents to enter into my mouth.

My mind was begging me to get out of here, but my body wasn’t listening to any instructions. I could feel the birds on top of me; they were doing something to stop me from pushing myself free. Having already taken on some water, I began thrashing around in an attempt to stop myself from drowning.

Scrambling, I waved my arms over my torso until I was able to grab one of the birds with my hands- just to feel it go limp and join me in the swamp. An arrow had been lodged into its side, and feeling around for it jolted my body back into shape as I was finally given the strength to rise back out of the water.

“…your shield! It’ll stop them from picking chunks outta you!”

I could only barely register what Fairfeather had said. Instead, I was on all-fours trying to cough up what I could of whatever had slithered its way down my throat. Due to the griffon’s intervention, the pain in my shoulder had reduced significantly, but it was clear that things were going to get worse before they got better.

Forcing myself back to my feet, I fumbled my hands along my back until I could grab my shield with both hands and thrust it out in front of me. Further shrieking overhead caused my arms to jut out on impulse as one of the birds collided with my shield’s surface with a hefty thud that almost knocked me off-balance again.

I could barely believe my eyes as I looked on to see three of the Stymphalian birds having wedged themselves into my shield. No wonder they were so fast; they were shaped more like bullets that birds. Fiercely aerodynamic with sharp angles and dull, black and brown hues, all leading to a beak made of bronze that looked capable of piercing through bone. The birds were hellbent on prying themselves free from the cork surface, using so much strength that I swear that I was being lifted into the air.

Again, several arrows gave me respite, as what I- at this point- hoped to be blood coated the side of my face. The tension in my shield relinquished as three corpses hung from my shield, limp and swaying in the gentle breeze.

Fairfeather stood on standby, untouched by the wildlife before looking to the sky and lowering his weapon. “They’re gone,” was all he said.

I confirmed what Fairfeather told me and sunk down to my knees. Soaked through with a mixture of mud and fluids, I turned back to the griffon before shouting in his direction, “There’s gotta have been a better fucking plan than that!”

“Sorry, friend-o. They don’t usually get that bold. Normally you take down about seven or eight, and the rest just give up!”

“Fucking ‘sorry’ isn’t gonna cut it ‘friend-o’! I nearly-”

A sudden urge to vomit brought me to a halt. A mixture of secretions was currently on face and down my throat, so I hung my head and heaved. I was too scared to look at the colour of whatever left my mouth.

Fairfeather interrupted the emptying of my stomach by offering a talon for me to latch onto. I felt myself be dragged back onto my feet and led to the far side of the swamp. “You’ll be alright…” the griffon reassured me as we went.

His words meant very little. Even so, I was in no mood to argue. “I wonder what gave them such confidence…” I murmured to myself as I felt another wave of nausea threatened to overrun me.

“Maybe you guys have got history. They didn’t care about me.”

“Do you hear yourself when you speak? Because you almost got me killed!” I snapped back at the griffon, who shrank away from the confrontation. I really wanted to get angry at him, but something in me just couldn’t. “…Yeah, well, in that case, I’m going on your back next time we have to do something like this.”

“No sweat. I knew you’d get carried at some-”

Just as we were about to reach dry land, another shriek sounded out overhead and I instinctively moved to block any attacks in that direction. Again, one of the birds had found its way into the surface of my shield, and it was promptly dealt with by Fairfeather.

“…Now can we get some respite?” I wearily asked the space around me, but a looming sense of dread seemed to present an answer that I dreaded to receive.

After being given only a brief moment to compose myself, the world had decided that it wasn’t quite done with me yet and had sent in the Stymphalian reinforcements. It must’ve been dozens of them- certainly a larger group than before and rapidly approaching. Where the hell had they come from? Were they protecting something?

It didn’t matter. The only thing that I focused on now were the shrieks and the thuds against my makeshift armour. I had no form of attack- not at this range- so it was up to Fairfeather to mow down my attackers without bringing me down with them.

Nothing can really prepare your mind for an experience like this. Sure, I was little more than a wall that these birds were smacking their heads into, but I was being complicit in a culling. In a roundabout way, I had the urge to lower my shield as the assault continued; I felt as if I deserved to take some share of the misery.

I closed my eyes after a while, hoping that I could serve as the griffon’s inanimate object and take none of the blame for this bloodshed. It felt routine in a sense: stand perfectly still, ignore the shrieking, and keep my eyes closed to prevent any blood from trickling through my eyelids.

Things changed once I felt my shield crack open. One singular surface of protection could only take so much punishment, and the feeling of my only defence breaking away filled me with a panic. I desperately grabbed at the front of the shield in a vain attempt to keep the pieces together. This was quickly punished by the Stymphalian birds as they took this opportunity to rip at my arms in the shield’s absence.

They found it more difficult to wedge themselves into my flesh, with their metal beaks acting like drills as they dug themselves free. The vibrations that these movements sent throughout my body brought a sense of nausea back to me, making any attempts at covering the rest of my body evermore fruitless.

And the instant I pulled my arms away, the birds were upon my torso instead, taking turns to dive down and strike my body in whatever places that they could. They gave my shoulders the same punishment that they had given to my shield, and any attempts to break them free would’ve been worthless.

Fairfeather tried to alleviate my suffering by shooting most of the birds as they pried free, but even in death they continued to hang onto me, dragging themselves through my skin as even gravity sought to work against me. “Give me one of those…” I growled at the griffon as I swiped an arrow from him. “These…monsters.”

Arrow in hand, I fought against the pain and started hacking away at the creatures embedded into my flesh. They were large enough to hit easily, and it generally only took one hit to cause them to go limp. Every stab that I inflicted made the pain feel that little bit further away, and…

Oh God. Is this what passes for a ‘victory’ now?

Alas, an arrow can only do so much, and it soon snapped on one of the creature’s beaks. I think I laughed when it happened. I could only do so much; it felt like the world was sending me a message.

The pain was so much. It burned through my blood as I felt it drip out of me. I found myself on the floor again, just as I had done at Pastern Peak, resting my head on one of the fallen birds. I saw a few above me- although they looked as if they had turned to flee as a bright light filled my eyes.

“I thought I told you not to get hurt!”

Somepony had called out to me at that moment, though my senses were so overcome that her voice felt omnidirectional. My guardian angel had arrived, just in time to watch me succumb to the world around me.

But the light- it felt so familiar.

I knew I recognised that colour.

Chapter 19: What Ponies are Supposed to Do

I wasn’t really aware of anything until I felt a load of water be thrown into my face, hopefully washing off all the gunk that inhabited it. My eyes stung from the sudden intrusion, but I knew that it was for the best. It wasn’t the worst pain I’d felt in the last few minutes.

Soon, I felt another wave of water bless my skin, then another, then another. The splashes they created were the only sound that I registered; if anyone was speaking, I wasn’t able to hear it.

With time, I found the strength to sit up and glance around the area. Thankfully, the only Stymphalian birds around had already taken their final breaths and were…hastily being collected by Fairfeather. Alright. Why not just suck up the blood while you’re at it, mate?

I only continued to watch him because I could feel my saviour glaring daggers at me. It was with some effort that I eventually turned to face the pouting pony and caught a glimpse of the stern disapproval that was etched onto her face. Twilight had come in my hour of need- and she wasn’t impressed. “What…in Celestia’s name are you doing?”

You know, I’d been through a fair-few low points with my purple companion, but it had never felt like this. With the look on her face and the almost bewildered tone of her voice, it was the first time that I’d felt like I’d let her down.

Hanging my head in shame, I quietly replied with a worthless, “I’m continuing the mission. Celestia’s orders.” I knew that this comment wasn’t going to help. This felt like one of those moments where you look down at your hands and question what ‘greater good’ you’re fighting for.

“I’m…going to send Princess Celestia some letters about this. This is so disgusting…you shouldn’t be doing things like this; this isn’t what ponies are supposed to do.”

I watched as Twilight gave a quick scan of the area before returning her glare back to me. She refused to offer another comment, perhaps at a loss for words, and I knew that she was soon to demand a better explanation. I just couldn’t give her one.

“…You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”

Still sat down, I brought my knees up to my chest and stared down at the floor. Approaching hoofbeats and an eventual hoof cupping my chin brought my attention back to Twilight as she looked down at me with a mixture of resentment and abject sorrow.

“The only thing you promised to me…you said you weren’t going to get hurt!”

I allowed my head to rest on her hoof as I sighed deeply. “I said that I’d try-”

“-And that was you trying?!”

“Do you think I want to die in this place?!” I shouted back at the mare while getting back to my feet. This time, she was forced to look up at me, and found difficulty doing so. I felt some shame in this, and I worked hard to prevent any more emotion entering the conversation. “Don’t fuck me about like this.”

But then it hit me. All of it did. The puncture wounds, the mental anguish…the smell of blood in the air. No sooner had I caused Twilight to wilt did I require her strength again. My throat began to burn as I let out a serious of painful sobs as my legs gave out. “I want to go home. I don’t want to do this.”

Twilight did well to support my weight, and I soon felt her wrap around me. “I guess this isn’t the grand adventure you thought it’d be,” she softly commented while swaying slightly on the spot. It did well to calm me down.

It was in this embrace that I allowed myself to be rocked back-and-forth. I found some comfort in rubbing my cheeks against the mare’s soft fur while I got myself under control. The mare’s movement was calming and took even more strength from my weary bones. In my moment of need, Twilight brought a feeling that I had been without for some time.

I was so thankful for her.

In a sudden surge of strength, I pushed away from Twilight’s grasp and stared into her eyes. They inferred little- maybe light surprise- so I centred my gaze on the mare’s lips. They looked soft and slightly pudgy whenever they parted to allow air to pass through them.

I did nothing but take in the sight of them, head spinning, until Fairfeather mercifully spoke up. “…The Stymphalian birds flew a good ways to the north. They’re hurting, so with a bit of luck, we can end this now,” he offered, seemingly having collected his ‘prizes’. “Isn’t it better to do this now and not need to come back?”

Internally, I agreed with him; I would’ve happily drowned in the murky water around me if it meant that I’d never have to see it again. All it took was one cursory glance in Twilight’s direction, however, to realise that she wasn’t quite on Fairfeather and I’s wavelength.

“I don’t know what authority you have, but there’s no way I’m sending my-”

But I always had a good way of stopping Twilight whenever she got going. It took only a moment to lift her forelegs off the floor and shimmy her waist until she was looking up at me. From there, it was far too easy for me to grab at her cheeks as I gently rubbed my knuckles into the soft surface that greeted me.

“When you’re stood like this, you don’t even look like a horse,” I stated to Twilight, whose face instantly began to redden. I continued gyrating my knuckles with a chuckle, unable to stop myself from smiling.

“I…” Twilight began, but she had already softened, and she didn’t get any further than that.

“Fairfeather is right, hun; let’s just do this thing. Maybe you can help us out.”

Fairfeather agreed with this offering his own comment of, “Like I said, they’re running scared. No better time to get ‘em than right now.” He pointed in the direction that the birds must’ve flown off to, and I was more interested in getting this done.

“I…” Twilight continued from where she left off before trying her hardest to look serious. “No…no! You’re coming back with me. This isn’t good for you!”

She looked so cute when she frowned. I didn’t see it a lot, but the sight of her trying to keep a straight face while her cheeks were being squeezed almost made this journey worth it. It also presented me with a chance to calm the mare down, and this was an opportunity that would be wise to take.

“You want me to defy the princess’ orders?”

Twilight sighed as she attempted to break free from my grasp. “You only call her a princess when it benefits you…” she mumbled while I grabbed her tighter. “Fine- but I’m coming with you.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, madam.”

Having made our arrangement, I allowed Twilight to have her freedom back. She did little to occupy the empty space and instead looked back at me with an expression that suggested that she really wanted to say something.

“And you’re doing that to my cheeks again when we get back,” the mare quietly announced to the floor as she turned to leave, giving her tail a few swishes for good measure.

Whatever she was feeling, she moved off at a good enough pace. I looked to Fairfeather, who signalled that we should follow her, and off we went.

“You have a habit of being saved by ponies, human-man.”

Twilight must’ve been well-versed with this forest, or maybe she was just good with directions. Without missing a beat, she navigated us through every dark corner and fork-in-the-road. I knew that she lived close by, but did that really warrant such a level of familiarity?

She finally stopped when there was no more path to follow. Instead, we found ourselves at the top of a valley of sorts, although I’m not sure if bottomless chasms and foreboding pits of fog are typically part of your local valley.

Amidst the monotony of overgrown trees, decay and the lust for death was a set of broken buildings, way off in the distance. I only mention this because Twilight seemed to be highly focused on them.

And after a little bit of staring, she seemed to have worked everything out. “Fairfeather,” she boldly announced, focused on the valley ahead. “I require the human for other matters. Can I trust you to deal with the rest of the Stymphalian birds?”

Confused, I wearily looked over to Fairfeather. His face was neutral, and he gave a single salute to the sky before moving over to Twilight. He appeared to whisper something in the mare’s ear before taking off. If it were any other time, I may have been interested in what he had said.

Wow. And then there were two. “That wasn’t something I’ve heard you do before,” I remarked to Twilight as she brought herself back down from her pedestal.

The mare let out an uneasy chuckle. “I don’t really like doing it…”

I wasn’t going to bother trying to unravel the mind of Miss Sparkle today, although I did have a few things to say. “Thanks for saving me again, Twilight- in a more literal sense this time, I suppose.”

This time, it was Twilight’s turn to be touchy as she leaned over towards me and grabbed my torso. “Well…you can thank me by holding me again…uh, if you’re not too hurt.”

How brave. I would never be able to turn down a request like that, and soon Twilight was back on her hind legs. She gleefully occupied her previous position, and she was soon humming away as I gave her face some attention.

I would’ve chosen a better location to do something like this, but Twilight seemed very relaxed. I suppose I was too; her body was very enjoyable to hold onto.

So much so, that it hurt to break the silence between us, but I couldn’t help but think that I was forgetting something. “Twilight, how did you find me?”

For the longest time, Twilight gave no answer- only a few contented hums as we continued to sway in unison. This was a far-cry compared to the flighty little thing I’d first met in Ponyville. It took her a long while to reply to me, and even then, she dropped an unnecessarily nonchalant, “I followed you.”

“…So, you didn’t trust me in the end?”

“You must feel so lucky that I didn’t…”

Calmness personified, this one. I could barely hear what she was saying; it sounded like she was falling asleep, and I didn’t feel like I was too far behind her.

“Maybe we could lie here for a little while…” I mumbled to myself as my eyes grew heavier. It may have appeared to be a suggestion, but I’d long-since decided on doing it.

Well, I had decided on it. But then…

“Wait, who’s looking after the kids?”

Shit. Oh fuck. No, no, no, no- Twilight must’ve had a plan, right? Surely. Somehow.

“I already thought of that,” Twilight thankfully replied, pushing away from me and brushing herself off. “I put a spell on them that should keep them asleep until we get back.”

Well that sounded…unethical. I mean, I trusted Twilight…somewhat, but if this went wrong then we’d have quite a few things to discuss.

“You trying to say that you sedated them?”

“No, that’s not true. They’re just…asleep…for a long time.”

“…I’m going home.”

In the back of my mind, I’d noticed a pattern where I could never leave somewhere just because I wanted to. Still, I liked making Twilight think about her actions, so I turned around and waited for the mare to jump in front of me.

“Ok, ok, ok! Look, you said that you’d be back by sunrise, right?”

“No, I said I’d be back by the morning.”

“So, the spell wears off at sunrise! Super smart, huh?”

I couldn’t tell if Twilight was desperately trying to cover up her own mistake, or if she was genuinely convinced that she’d done the right thing. I assumed the latter, and either way I wasn’t impressed. I couldn’t believe that I’d need to explain to her that drugging children was wrong, but here we are.

“Twilight, did you listen to what I said?”

“What?”

The night was clearly getting to us- and Twilight seemed hellbent on making the most of it, so I wearily gave her the green light. “Let’s just do this…what are we doing?”

“We’re going to a little castle not too far from here.”

She pointed to the castle in question, which I’d barely noticed until now. It was that little grey rectangle way off in the distance. More walking. Great. “Is this necessary? We’re going so far away, and I want my bed again.”

Twilight, unfortunately, was not to be perturbed. “Oh, hush,” she fired back at me, as if I was the one being unreasonable here. “There’s something I want to try with you.”

It was unfortunate that I was so easily persuaded. Even when faced with the choice of going back to see the girls, I was unable to turn down Twilight’s offer of ‘trying something’. All I knew was that the night had been going on for some time, and I was ready to drop to the floor at the drop of a hat.

But maybe visiting this castle was actually worth the walk this time, although there didn’t seem to be much left of it. Even for my fatigued mind, it was impossible for me to do anything other than gaze at these old stone walls and imagine what on Earth could’ve happened in this place. Sure, moss and invasive plant-life had overtaken the foundations now, but what a history this place must’ve had.

As to be expected, given that this castle was in the middle of an abandoned forest, it looked particularly worse-for-wear; I doubt it even had a roof anymore. It looked dark- ominous, even- just the old outline of something that once was special. There must’ve been something worth looking for in there.

“The Castle of the Two Sisters: once one of the most important places in Equestria,” Twilight explained, stood at the castle’s entrance. With a wave, she beckoned me to follow her inside as she continued her exposition.

“But that’s in the past. What was once the home to some of Equestria’s most powerful magic now lies in ruins, swallowed whole by the Everfree Forest…I guess even walls like these couldn’t escape being consumed by the shadows around them.”

Her voice dropped off as she continued, mimicking the way that her body seemed to have also lost its vigour. “This place means a lot to you?” I half-asked her, unsure of what to say, but Twilight turned back to me with a shake of the head and a smile.

“It’s in the past,” she reaffirmed, sounding sincere in her rebuttal. “And we didn’t come here for that anyway. We’re looking for some books.”

Studying at 4am? This was the uni life. “Books? Right now?” I asked Twilight, who responded with an enthusiastic nod. “Couldn’t we have waited until the morning and got them from…your library?”

I stopped for a second to yawn, closing my eyes as I fought the urge to sleep. By the time I opened them, Twilight had disappeared through a random doorway; I could only make out where she’d gone because of the glow from her horn.

I followed the light until I came to see the castle’s library- well, its remains at least. Similar to the rest of this place, much of it had fallen to decay, with largely empty bookshelves and cracked stone lining the outer perimeter. This library would likely have been impressive back in its day, but now it was little more than a large room full of dust.

And off to the left, scouring the only full bookshelf in the castle, was Twilight. “I was thinking,” she began, not even looking to see if I approached her. “Maybe you needed a little more protection if the princess keeps making you do these things.”

“What do you mean exactly?” I tentatively asked before being cut off by the alicorn.

“Summon your bow.”

I wordlessly did as I was told, and Twilight watched as the weapon appeared in my fingers. “Look at what you can already do,” she continued. “Your bow doesn’t have a physical form; you made that happen. That’s not an easy spell for somepony to learn.”

I feel like there are times in life when someone says something that makes no sense to you- but you kind of feel inclined to believe them anyway. I looked down at the bow in my hands and wished it away. Blaming this all on tiredness, I had nothing to really say about it. I really should’ve been able to play devil’s advocate better than this.

But we’ve been here before with all the nonsense. I get told something that so illogical that in some idiotic way it might even be plausible. Nothing in this world makes sense, so if I’m told something that dramatically goes against everything that I’ve ever understood and stood for, then it may well be this new definition of ‘reality’.

“Twilight, humans can’t do magic.”

With this weak response, I squatted down for a moment, getting on Twilight’s level before falling backwards onto my arse. I felt Twilight prop me back up a little bit while she continued her explanation.

“Maybe not in your world, but think about what you were holding in your hands. Some unicorns study magic for years and can’t make things appear out of thin air. That’s magic- you have the capacity for learning magic!”

As she reached this conclusion, she spun herself around me so that she could look into my eyes. Even with her face inches from mine again, I couldn’t help but focus on the message her body was sending: her tail swished, her body lightly yet vigorously trembled- she was practically foaming at the mouth due to her revelation.

“Look, I found some spell books; some for experts, some for beginners. I’m guessing that you learned that summon spell from the princess? Then, my guess is that the spell you learned is centuries old, much like the spells in these books.”

Clearly, the little alicorn was operating on wishful thinking. She had decided to close her eyes for this part of her explanation, forbidding me the joy of watching her eyes sparkle with excitement. It made me want to hold her even tighter.

No, I wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying.

“We can start off slow to see what you can learn, and then we can go from there. Just think: my own student!”

I felt myself stumble again as Twilight broke away from me to do a small pirouette. I could only hope that the world inside her head was a lot better lit than this one. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that, Twilight. Maybe the ‘spell’ I know is just something from the princesses only,” I maintained, just to dangle the prospect of a way out in front of my face.

After this response, I looked down at my hands once more, wondering if there was indeed some magic potential beyond all the bloodied puncture wounds. I remember that something clicked in my mind when I touched that bow for the first time…but were the princesses being more generous than they let on?

I tell you, I was nearly given the shock of my life when Twilight suddenly appeared in my vision, having wriggled her way between my arms to look me dead in the eyes. “You won’t even try with me?”

Now that she was forcibly in my vision, she set about to create the most heartbroken expression that any soul, from this world or the next, could conjure up. With a fragile pout and eyes so wide they looked as if they were about to consume the rest of her face, her expression confirmed to me that I have no ability to turn down women.

So…the inevitable happened.

“I didn’t say ‘no’… Fine, we’ll do it. After a good night’s sleep.”

A pair of forelegs were wrapped around me in an instant. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Twilight delightfully exclaimed, kicking herself off the floor and hanging from my neck.

It was nice to see her like this, especially given how she was only a little while ago. It made her attempt at sounding assertive all the more entertaining. “You’d better be a good student- because you’re not going out again without some form of protection.”

I couldn’t stop looking at her while she said that. The playful expression on her face, the way that she tried to hold back a smile…even the way that the excess dirt clung to parts of her fur. It was all so effortless- so endearing and honest.

If she was a human, I’d kiss her.

“What’s wrong?” she suddenly asked me, looking up at me with concern. I gave my eyes a couple of quick blinks to confirm my suspicion that my eyes had begun to water. I’ll blame it on the night.

In all honesty, I was nervously excited to find out whether I could do this magic stuff after all, but it was obvious that my mind had unravelled enough. “It’s much past your bedtime,” Twilight confirmed to me. “Let’s go home.”

If even Twilight was turning down the opportunity to spend more time in my personal space, then I knew it was time to call it quits. I let her lead the way as she took both of us outside in silence, and I hoped to whatever was watching over me that this would be the end of all the violence for a little while.

Naturally, there was still a bit of travelling that we had to do in order to get out of the Everfree. Just moving back through it reminded me of what I’d done just a few hours ago, so I didn’t have much to say throughout my walk of shame.

“I know that tonight was…bad for you,” Twilight began, perhaps being able to read my body language. “A-and we don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to. But look on the bright side: that’s one less task to do for the princesses, right?”

I admired her optimism. Even in this overgrown mess of a forest- so dense that even light couldn’t escape it- she never failed to light up the area around her. I wish I could show her the same energy.

“Yeah: two out of…what- a thousand? It doesn’t fill me with much hope.”

As I let out a sigh, I felt Twilight lean against me as we continued to walk. “So, what gives you that hope?” she quietly asked me. I looked down to see a curious pair of eyes looking back; they demanded an answer.

“…The little ones, I guess. I don’t know really; I’ve kinda been running on autopilot for a while. They’re kind of the only things that remind me who I am- what I’m fighting for. If it weren’t for them, I’d have lost my mind about 10 minutes after I came to this place. I really need to thank them for it.”

I looked down at Twilight as I spoke, and I watched a knowing smile form on her face. “I’m sure they’re very grateful for what you’ve done,” she responded, voice still soft and harmless. “And I don’t think they’d survive without you either. You’re their whole world.”

It hurt to hear things like that. Whatever final plan the princesses may have, it was clear to me that the little ones shouldn’t have had any part in it. I hated myself for being thankful that they had been stolen from their home in the same way that I was.

“It wasn’t always like that, but I’m glad it’s that way now. Although, I know that relationships can be fragile.”

Another feeling of wetness in my eyes confirmed to me that I was saying the wrong things again. Twilight must’ve felt this also: her curiosity had turned to concern as she offered her opinion on the matter.

“Don’t say that. They love you just as much as you love them. Nopony forgets a bond like that- and I’m sure humans don’t either.”

There was likely a multitude of ways to respond to a comment like that, but I couldn’t find it in me to keep the conversation going. It felt like my mind and my mouth were having separate conversations, so I silently focused on the trees that lay either side of Twilight and I, and how they seemed to have thinned out, offering glimpses of the outside world again.

“So…what were they like?”

This question made me jump for whatever reason. The force of my jolt pushed Twilight away from me, as I felt her momentary absence until a hoof reconnect itself with my thigh. “Your foals- when you first met them. What were they like?”

It’d been a while since I fondly looked back on my earlier days as a student teacher. Truth be told, and maybe ironically, learning about education isn’t particularly enjoyable, so there was never much to get misty-eyed about. Apart from the kids.

“Well, I don’t think that either of us were particularly comfortable with each other at first.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was my first time…doing that stuff- being with the little ones and I was nervous as hell. You know me- you’ve seen me: you know that I’m not the best at making good first impressions, or really leaving an impression at all.”

I waited for Twilight to respond, but a quick glance suggested that she was happier to listen along, so I continued.

“Look, it wasn’t like I was some sort of boogeyman or the Pied Piper; children have always come to find me eventually- wherever I went. But I was a new guy in a new place and I think people can sense when you don’t feel like you belong- whatever their age is.”

“But your foals were different?”

“Oh-ho, no! You know Eva by now. She doesn’t like new people getting too close. And Eve…”

“She wasn’t your best friend right out of the gate?”

Reminiscing on the past so vividly invigorated me. There was a comforting quality to talking about something old to someone new, and I suspect that the discussion reminded me that those familiar faces were waiting for me when I got back. I wondered if Eve would be pissed off again…

“Oh, Eve fucking hated me! Whenever she came into nursery and saw me there, she’d give me the filthiest look. I’ve no idea why. Maybe she thought I was taking her sister away from her? I don’t know.”

“So, what changed?”

“I have no idea. One day she came in and threw herself at me. To this day, she’s still stuck there. She’s full of shit though- she’d never say that she didn’t like me at first…”

The forest around Twilight and I grew thinner as we continued our trek, signalling that we had made it through the worst of it. It was a good thing too, given that the sky above us had recently started to lighten in anticipation of an imminent sunrise.

Even so, Twilight continued to listen to me, showing no signs of any desire to intervene. She was here to watch me pour my heart out, so I kept on going with it.

“I guess it just took time to develop their trust. I’ll always remember the first time the two of them sat with me after snack time. Everything washed away when they both clicked at the same time; my only regret was that my lap wasn’t big enough to support the two of them. Some kids just yearn for that physical closeness- some sort of affection in such an obvious way. Obviously not in strange way…it’s another way of saying ‘I trust you and I want you to know that I trust you’, even if they can’t really put those thoughts together at that age.”

I’d been talking for a little while now…and maybe rambling to some extent, but Twilight still didn’t want to interrupt my thinking. “You haven’t said anything for a while, hun,” I commented to her, ruffling her mane while she carried on with her gazing.

“It’s just so nice to hear you talking like this,” the mare explained after a short pause. “Normally, you’re so angry and negative- like you think that there are ponies in the shadows ready to jump out at you. The world isn’t like that; I promise you.”

She stopped in her tracks to grab onto me while she spoke. It was clear that she wanted these words to stick, so I returned the gesture. “Thank you, Twilight,” I whispered, my voice withered down by some combination of emotion and fatigue. “Maybe the world is made of more than just monsters.”

The two of us stayed like this for a little while. In truth, I would’ve liked to have stayed in the mare’s embrace for longer, but a creeping of fresh sunlight up the path before us reminded me that there were other places that I needed to be.

This discovery was felt by Twilight as well. With a simple, “Come on,” she pulled me along at an increased pace until we had left the Everfree behind.

By the time we’d made it back to Twilight’s castle, I was already too far gone. If anybody was insane enough to be awake at such an hour, they would’ve been treated to a scene of Twilight doing her best to pull open the castle door in opposition to me leaning against it for support.

But once that cursed door was finally open, the cold crystal of Twilight’s castle had never felt warmer. It had been a place of relative safety for me before, but now falling to floor was like falling into bed. Still, an inspection of the local architecture wasn’t what I was there for, so I dragged myself away to find my people-of-interest.

And they were exactly where I expected them to be. There in the familiar library, I was greeted by a room that had the same layout as last time; at least the little ones were on the same bed as before, which would thankfully give me a larger space to crawl into than before.

As I approached the bed, I took a moment to look at the pair as they slept. It was enviable to see how at-peace they were, safe in each other’s arms. I’d never really seen them like this, so to know that they even when given a larger space, they still ended up next to each other was comforting.

It also reminded me that I was about to die from exhaustion, so I slumped into my side of the bed with gusto. I was covered in God-knows-what and must’ve stank up the entire room, but who cares? Twilight would do the laundry afterwards, I’m sure. Tenho certeza.

Actually, I hadn’t even given a thought to what she’d done today. She’d been through just as much as me, and she still had the care and energy to think of a plan to help me out. I’d have to take her out somewhere nice; gestures like this shouldn’t go unnoticed.

I gave a quick glance over my shoulder to see that Twilight had already gotten herself cozy in a bed of her own. I couldn’t contain my smile as she gave me a gentle wave before turning out the lights in the library.

Even in this dim light, I turned back to the girls as they seemed unperturbed by my intrusion, their little chests rising and falling at a slowed, steady rate. I wasn’t sure if that spell that Twilight had mentioned had worn off yet- or if it had even existed in the first place- yet I hoped that the slumber that they had entered had been by their own volition.

It was funny: on one side were the girls, and on the other was Twilight. Two different groups that gave my both hope and concern for their respective futures. What made me laugh was that I was never able to sleep on my back, so in the end I needed to roll over to meet one of them.

In that moment of confliction, I felt a stronger urge to reach out to one of the little ones: to hold one of their hands or engage in a group hug. Nonetheless, a combination of my own fatigue and a sense of common decency made my arm fall during its journey, and I had no intention of raising it for a decent while.

I guess I’d earned this sleep.

Chapter 20: A Complicated Pony

“…I don’t think he’s waking up, Evie.”

“Yeah, he is: watch this!”

My morning had started brilliantly. After what felt like fifteen seconds after I’d gotten to sleep, I felt a rather large lump smash itself into my side. Another impact followed, and juvenile giggling proved to fill my ears more often than birdsong during my new morning routine.

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: I felt like shit. In fact, this new pain in my side coalesced beautifully with the burning agony all over the rest of my bloody torso. I didn’t make much of a noise, mainly due to my body still waking up, but I could tell that today would be a rough one.

Obviously though, this didn’t matter to two people in particular. It took some effort to open my eyes, but those two were worth waking up to. Grinning like nobody’s business, a pair of tiny terrors were desperate to greet me, so I had little choice but to comply.

Actually, no. My lack of control in this situation was made immediately apparent when one of the lumps wriggled herself around to join me under the duvet while the other stayed on my back, giggling away as she looked down upon me and watched me come to terms with my helplessness.

With heavy arms, I weakly clutched at the little one before me, finding comfort as I brushed against the brown curls atop her head. “Good morning!” she had called out to me, any movements signalling that she was more likely getting adjusted than trying to push away.

While this happened, I felt a separate pair of hands clumsily grab around my neck as strands of black hair fell over my eyes. A separate cry of, “Good morning!” followed this movement and the darkness that proceeded it made me feel as if my eyes were closed again.

It was always difficult to need to push them away, but no day is ever that nondescript, so the show must go on. “Good morning, girls,” I still offered them before attempting to push myself away from my preferred place of rest. “Now come on. We’ve gotta get ready for breakfast.”

A lack of pressure on my back suggested that Eve had dismounted, but Eva was much less willing to break contact. “You heard me, littlun: let’s move,” I repeated to the one in my arms, giving her a light shove to emphasise my point.

Naturally, she had no interest in doing the right thing, and she responded with a full body shake and a selection of happy yet forceful hums. I had half a mind to accept her decision, but I suddenly felt her slide away from me. “You need to…move!” I heard Eve assert, and sure enough, I was able to witness her drag Eva out of the bed and onto the floor.

Perhaps I was pessimistic by expecting a tantrum to result from this. Eva’s docility was still something to witness as she wordlessly picked herself up from the floor and fell in line next to her sister, studying at me expectantly.

When given an audience like that, I felt guilty just lying there, so I forced myself to sit up. Doing so brought on a whole new level of discomfort as the room began to spin, even when I closed my eyes. It took me a long time to get the nausea under control, and I didn’t make much progress until Twilight entered the scene.

“Ah, welcome back!” the mare cheerily exclaimed. Truth be told, I was jealous of how much bounce she had in her step. Did she even come out to save me last night? “Spike’s already making breakfast; come down and join us after you’ve gotten cleaned up.”

“Yeah, you stink,” Eve wonderfully concurred. As if her point needed emphasising, she pinched her nose and wafted a hand in front her face while Eva looked on, seemingly appalled.

“Evie! That’s rude!”

I laughed at the antics; they weren’t really worth getting upset about. “Ah Twilight! Do you feel as dead as I do?” I asked the mare in question, my voice doing well to cover the various clicks that my body created while I stretched.

Twilight initially responded with a shake of the head. “My night wasn’t quite as stressful as yours,” she elaborated as she floated a glass of water to me. I immediately gulped its contents down for all it was worth, and Eve nearly knocked the thing out of my hands trying to get my attention.

“Where did you go?” she questioned.

“What did you do?” Eva enquired.

“Did you get me anything?!” they both excitedly shouted as they closed in on me. Rather than get involved in a spat, I stood my ground and firmly pointed at the pair, which miraculously rooted them to the spot.

“Ladies…this wasn’t really a shopping trip,” I asserted, much to the girls’ disappointment. “I’ll tell you all about it when we get going. Let me just…have a shower first.”

“Yeah, you kinda need it,” Twilight needlessly added off to the side. I gave her a quick glance, but she didn’t seem to mind, smiling away as if she hadn’t done anything at all. There clearly wasn’t much of this conversation left to salvage, so I relented to my companions’ wishes and disappeared into the bathroom.

“Don’t wait up! I hope breakfast is good…”

Breakfast did little to perk me up- but it helped. The weather too; it was glorious. The previous night and its events seemed far in the past as Twilight led the girls and I in some random direction for the second time in as many days.

I had already asked her where we were going, but again, she had kept her cards close to her chest. This distressed me to no end; if yesterday was any indication, then I had every right to be nervous. I didn’t want to see the colour pink for a little while.

At least the girls were calmer today. Eve had called shotgun to ride on my shoulders, and Eva was compliant in her sister’s absence. If anything, she was leading me around. She wordlessly followed behind Twilight, glancing up at me occasionally for reassurance- as if I had any more control in this situation than she did.

Eventually though, Twilight led us to a familiar place. Some old dainty bridge and a glorified tent. Of course: it was Ponyville’s spa- the place where I’d met Rarity. As far as I could tell, though, Rarity wasn’t here this time. Which meant that…

“I was thinking that you might need some R&R after what you went through last night,” Twilight explained, completing my train of thought for me. She produced a small note out of thin air that indeed confirmed that Ponyville Spa would be seeing me today for a massage.

I gave no thought to how or when Twilight had arranged this because I was quite touched. Although, calls of, “What does it say? Let me see!” from my shoulders somewhat disrupted the mood.

But you know what? I wasn’t going to complain today. From now. “…Thank you, Twilight,” I awkwardly mumbled, eyes focused fully on the note in my hands. Why did it feel so awkward? I should’ve had enough practice with this by now.

Regardless of my social ability, I was still able to get a little laugh from Twilight. “You’ve never been good at this sort of thing,” she responded. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure if she was asking me a question or stating the obvious.

Her words cut straight through me though, slicing my confidence as they travelled. I was almost fortunate when Eve decided to stick her nose into my conversation with some advice.

“No, you say it like this: Thank you, Twilight!”

The little one sung out those last three words with a syrupy-sweet intonation and in that moment, all of my time as a teacher came back to bite me. I couldn’t believe that I was expected to practice what I preached, and my uncertainty must’ve shown in my lacklustre imitation:

“Thank you, Twilight…”

Oh, but this was not good enough for the little ones. Even Eva now had gotten involved, pulling on my arm before singing out a “Thank you, Twilight!” of her own. Soon enough, Twilight was being praised from every angle and at every volume, and I knew that I needed to get involved now before we woke the neighbours.

“Thank you, Twilight!” I very painfully cried out, my voice cracking as I failed to hit the girls’ coveted high notes. Of course, the pair of them laughed at me while my face burned. I could feel the heat escape from my cheeks as Twilight let out a giggle, her features also tinged a familiar shade or red.

Eve didn’t seem to see anything wrong with the conversation. With a “You’re funny, Mr. Bayard!”, she wrapped her arms around my head and lazily rested her hands over my eyes. The darkness was comforting, but I’d need her to stop before I walked both of us into the doorframe.

But until then, I had to rely on my hearing. “You’re very welcome,” I heard Twilight say, although it was difficult to hear her voice. Thankfully, she must’ve given herself a moment to turn up the volume before speaking again. “The princess has worked you so hard this last week; you deserve something like this.”

I desperately felt the need to say something in response to that. “How much do I owe you?” was my best attempt at keeping the conversation going, but it was obvious that I was struggling. Much like how I must’ve been flailing with my hands trying to find the mare, my words also seemed wildly off the mark.

Eventually, Eve let me see again. I was greeted by Twilight once more, albeit her being much closer to me now. Her eyes were focused on mine, and she simply stated, “It’s not about the money,” while her gaze urged me to respond. It didn’t sound as if she was upset, but I had the suspicion that I was testing her patience.

“Then I won’t say any more about it. Take us inside, madam,” I concluded with a clap of my hands.

Thankfully, Twilight did as she was told, and I was soon introduced to the spa’s interior. It was about what you’d expect from a reception area: a large open space with a load of plain chairs dotted around the perimeter. All of the seating pointed inwards towards a rustic reception desk.

I always liked the colour purple, and this place was full of it: the wallpaper, the flowers that sat between the seating groups…even the small gems that adorned the chandeliers above me were almost entirely composed of that lucrative lilac.

It was a shame that the pony behind the reception desk didn’t match this colour scheme. She was still alright though- a blue coat worked just a nicely. She looked well-kept and far too fancy to be working for minimum wage, so I imagined that she was who we were looking for.

“Welcome, customers,” the receptionist proudly proclaimed. She spoke with a ridiculously thick…Eastern European(?) accent, and no amount of converting ‘they’ to ‘zey’ could do her inflections justice.

“Good morning, Lotus. I’m here for my appointment,” Twilight stated on approach, simple as you like. Without missing a beat, she grabbed the small note from my hands and presented it to the mare behind the desk, who briefly glanced over it.

Once the receptionist finished scanning the paper, she turned her attention towards me. Her blue eyes certainly gave me far more attention than she had given the note, and I could only watch as her neutral expression changed into a slightly unnerving grin.

“Ah, but it is not for you: maybe it is for your friend here.”

By the way she looked up at me expectantly, I imagine that she was waiting for me to speak. This assumption was compounded by Twilight, who gave me a small nudge to begin my introduction. “Yeah, I guess that’s for me…uh, I don’t actually know what it’s for though.”

“No problems,” Lotus reassured me. She pushed herself away from the desk and set off down one of the hallways behind her. “Come, come.”

For whatever reason, this setup distressed me, so I looked to Twilight for extra reassurance. The alicorn must’ve noticed my unease, so she reassumed her role of leading the way. “She won’t bite,” she softly stated as she overtook me. “You might even enjoy it.”

It was somewhat ironic that the proposal of a relaxing massage made me so paranoid. I probably shouldn’t have been, given that Twilight seemed to have some kind of interest in keeping me alive. These ponies were just hard to trust, I guess; I couldn’t imagine us all getting along so well.

Still, we were here now. We were still surrounded by purple, which was nice, only now we were in a larger room with a couple of massage tables and a nice pool of water. The sight of the water brought back traces of trauma, but I’d be sure to keep my head above the surface this time.

“Right this way, friends,” Lotus stated, gesturing towards the set of massage tables. “Massage for three.”

That couldn’t be right. “Three? With these two?” I clarified, expecting there to have been some form of poor communication. Alas, I was to be ignored as Lotus patted down three of the massage tables before turning back to me with a deadpan expression.

“Your foals have had a rough time too,” Twilight sought to remind me. She was good at telling me these things, like an angel on my shoulder. Still, that left another question to be asked.

“Well, what are you gonna do?”

I don’t know why I really asked; I could’ve just looked behind me to see Twilight sit herself down on what appeared to be a recliner some distance away. She clearly had other plans.

But even so, was this right? Is this what we were supposed to be doing? Can you give a four-year-old a massage? I feel scared to research it.

Either way, the girls’ faces displayed the reactions that I was expecting. “What’s a massage?” Eve asked like clockwork, and I tried my best to think of an explanation that didn’t sound immediately predatory.

“It’s…when somebody rubs your body in a way that feels good. It’s relaxing.”

Yeah, that’ll do it. My imminent blush notwithstanding, I did well to persuade Eve, who shrugged before clambering herself up onto the table.

It was a shame that Eva was never quite as bold. True to form, she’d already worked her way over to me before proceeding to grab at my arm once more. She always had a way of signalling when she had doubts about something, but I knew that there was a way to get through to her.

Simply picking the little one up was usually enough, and judging by the way she reciprocated the contact, this action was still sufficient. “Trust me. You know that I won’t let them hurt you,” I reassured her, instinctively wiping away tears that didn’t yet exist.

Her expression was always fragile, but again seemed to be permissive as I moved towards the table with my cargo. She gave little resistance to being let down, so down she went. “Brave face,” I told her, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek for good measure.

Right. So, with that done, it was now time to…figure out why Eve was back on the floor again. Stern-faced and with arms crossed, she pouted up at me as if I’d done something wrong here. “Why?” was all I asked her, my facial expression surely matching her own.

Without missing a beat, Eve lifted both of her arms in front of her. I knew what that meant, so up she went as well, followed by her being deposited on a table of her own. It was strange that it took a little bit more coaxing to get her to dislodge.

“Tell me I have a brave face,” she demanded of me, albeit in the form of a hushed whisper. While she requested this, she also tapped a finger on her right cheek, indicating her desire for similar treatment as her sister received.

I heard giggling somewhere in the background, and my blush quickly resurfaced. “Yes, you have a brave face, sweetheart,” I relinquished with the second kiss of the day. I could only hope that these two would be satisfied after all this.

A comment of, “We can see where your stress may come from,” brought my attention back to my masseuse. She was a new pony, almost identical to Lotus except with her coat being pink in colour rather than blue. I hadn’t even heard her come in.

I didn’t have anything else to say, so, after one final check to see that the girls were okay, I lay down on one of the massage tables and waited for fate to have her way with me. “Do your worst, magic hooves.”

Magic fucking hooves indeed. As soon as the mare above me sank her hooves into my poor back, I was all hers. Any concerns that I’d previously had about this place evaporated in an instant under the pressure of those magnificent forelegs.

Forget what I said earlier; from this massage onwards, I was the ponies’ personal plaything. All of those awful trials and tribulations from my time here began to disappear. Fairfeather- never heard of him. Blueblood- what chapter was he in again?

Wishing for nothing other than this continued sensation, I shut my eyes and let the ladies do their work. There was no use focusing on where they applied any pressure; I felt it throughout my body as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss washed over me. It took a lot of strength to stop myself from swearing.

Admittedly, I may have lost sight of where I was as the sounds that I’d begun to make sounded…explicit. During this time, I was clearly beyond the point of caring, but I must’ve been pretty loud due to the reactions I got from the little ones.

“They’re hurting him!”

Even in this state, I could feel Eva’s plight. In response, I lazily stretched out one of my arms, and I was very quickly reintroduced to the little girl’s grasp.

“It’s okay: Mr. Bayard wants the ponies to step on him,” Eve summarised from her own place of tranquillity, albeit with some horrendous wording. I perked open one of my eyes to witness her give me a thumbs up and wink from off to the side. Why our massage tables were laid out like this, I don’t know.

I should’ve been prepared with some form of snide comment, but there was no need for it right now. The girls were fine; I was fine; Twilight was…hopefully not listening to me moan, so there was nothing left to do other than listen to my masseuse’s running commentary.

“Then this is good- for we are the best at what we do!”

“Well, it’s a good thing that there’s nobody else in this bloody town who needs some treatment…”

You know, it’s nice to label something as a success; the spa trip had been a wonderful idea from Twilight. Granted, her session must’ve finished before mine had, so I’d found her loitering around outside. It was strange though: she didn’t look quite as relaxed as I would’ve imagined her being.

Either way, her generosity was still clear to see: the little alicorn had gotten us a reservation at some nice little outdoor restaurant. Thankfully, she’d made it exceedingly clear that we were not to go back to Sugarcube Corner- we were going to somewhere a lot simpler.

It was this little outdoor café thing. Tiny little tables with tiny little hay bales to perch upon while you ate. Sure, it was much too small for me, but it housed Twilight and the little ones very nicely indeed. Speaking of…

“How’re you feeling, kiddo?” I asked both Eve and Eva, not too fussed about which one of them decided to answer. I knew that my massage went swimmingly, but I was still worried about those two and their fragility.

Eve appeared to be the one to take the mantle. “I feel funny,” she uncharacteristically mumbled, having completed her tenth stretch in as many minutes.

“A good ‘funny’?”

“I think so. I feel stretchy…”

That was good enough for me, and upon sitting down at our table, the feeling of somebody climbing onto my lap suggested that Eva had kept her strength as well. Even better than that, ordering food was quick and painless, leaving lots of time for conversation.

“Twilight, you know you don’t need to do all this,” I began, feeling slightly uncomfortable with how well the day was going so far. Sat opposite from me, the mare gave me a look of determination before proceeding.

“I already told you that it’s not a bother; you don’t need to thank me,” she calmly reassured me. Her voice was soft, perhaps even a little melancholy, so I quickly dropped the subject.

Besides, Eva was shifting around again, which usually meant that an idea had popped into her head. “I want to say, ‘thank you’ too,” she quietly murmured, voice strained as if she had been trying to force her words out for some time.

As expected, she kept her head down after that. I would usually be happy to keep it like that, but this time was different. “Hey- look at me,” I told the little girl as I raised her head. Judging by the way her lip quivered and the effort she took to evade my gaze, it was clear that she was struggling with something.

“I’m just really happy…”

Eva must’ve been sitting on that for a while. Immediately after she made this confession, she collapsed against me, having seemingly used the last of her strength projecting those two statements. With the feeling of a small face making even smaller tears against my shirt, I came to assume that we were unlikely to hear from the timid soul for a while.

“I’m really happy that you’re happy, sweetheart,” I tried to console my teary-eyed companion. I knew that she didn’t need much more than that; she clearly wanted something to hold, so I just left her with that while I turned to her sister. “How’re you doing, Eve? Still holding out?”

Eve was more than happy to respond, giving a clear nod and a resounding “Mm hmm!”, occasionally glancing at her sister in the meantime. “Sorry about Eva: she’s very…”

“Overcome?”

“Yeah. Overdone.”

“…I’m just glad you two are alright,” I concluded with a chuckle. Even with her poor diction, Eve was doing what she could, I suppose. She deserved a little something. “And you two have been so good…to me and to Twilight…”

An audible gasp from Eve signalled that she’d caught onto what I was suggesting. “You mean we can go…?”

“Yes, we can go to the beach.”

At the mention of this, Eve made a sound that I’m not even going to try to transcribe as she dove at me in a chorus of ‘thank you’s. I was worried for how Eva would deal with the impact, but my declaration caused her to look up at me in wonder as well. They’re so easy to please…

“What’s the beach like? Who lives there? Is it warm?” Eve continued, seemingly having entered another gear. As she prattled on, she got increasingly bold, eventually standing on top of her chair as her excitement continued to rise. “Good golly-gosh: I’ve never been to the beach, so…”

“Don’t go on the table…”

“…I want to know all about it because what if there’s something that lives there who doesn’t means to live there? Because if there’s something that doesn’t…”

I put a stop to this rambling by placing my hands on each of Eve’s sides. She ceased her monologue almost instantly before being gently lifted back down to Earth. “That’s great and all…but get off the table.”

Although her mind may have been running riot, Eve seemed calm in the wake of her defeat. Plopped back down in her chair, she applied all her attention to swinging her arms and scanning the area for something interesting to focus on.

This time, however, it was Twilight’s turn to speak up. “Actually, I might have some books on the kind of creatures you can find at the beach. You’re free to look through them if you like.”

“Can I?” Eve asked me, acting as if this situation was mine to control. Her childish enthusiasm must’ve gotten the best of her as she looked set to explode.

“Don’t look at me,” I helpfully pointed out, gesturing towards Twilight instead. Once she and Eve made eye contact, a pair of nods were exchanged with varying levels of excitement before I felt a pair of miniature hands grab at me again. “Again, your love and affection are both directed at the wrong person right now.”

Eve didn’t seem to mind; she just kept on clinging. “You know, I’m glad that you two have taken to all this so well,” I noted to the little ones, who both focused on me in response. “Like, I thought that you’d have wanted to go back to school by now.”

I was clearly mistaken in my assertion as the pinching along my sides entered into a crescendo as Eve sought to gleefully burrow her way directly into me.

“I don’t want to go back to school!”

To be fair, I should’ve expected such a reaction from someone so young. It’s always a question of ‘all or nothing’ with this lot. “You don’t want to see people at home or at school…?”

“None of it’s very nice,” Eva quickly replied with an alarming level of eloquence. From what little time it took her to answer, I could only assume that such a response was automatically conjured up in that mind of hers.

“You’re not there,” Eve perhaps sought to elaborate, losing much of the energy behind her voice.

Initially unsurprising, I was beginning to grow concerned that this conversation was heading in a negative direction. “There’s not anything you miss?” I asked the duo, hoping for some shred of positivity. I was met with a long period of silence which was only hesitantly halted by Eva.

“…I miss maths.”

Both Twilight and I found some amusement at such a comment. In all honesty, the mare’s laugh reminded me that she was still here; she seemed to have a habit of sitting back whenever the little ones were involved. “Then we’ll make a list of stuff and see what we can do,” I summarised, and a whole load of smiles suggested that I was on track this time.

Despite this brief flash of positivity, the mood felt fairly subdued to me. Thankfully, waiters soon appeared with our food, which gave all of us a distraction. Even so, Twilight had one last question to ask before her mind was completely clear.

“Good golly-gosh?”

“Mrs. Stuart didn’t like using The Lord’s name in vain.”

Well, we were all done with that- and I was quietly excited to see what gift Twilight was going to supply us with next. From the direction that we were travelling, I began to wonder if a trip back to Rarity’s was on the cards.

Eve had once again failed to occupy the space on my shoulders, although that didn’t mean that she was out of ideas. The only person who was more surprised than I was with the little one’s desire to sit on Twilight’s back was Twilight herself.

But there they were, bobbing along quite nicely. Maybe the promise of some reading time had brought the pair together. Or maybe Eve just couldn’t be bothered to walk anymore. Either way, this walk was a far cry from the one during my first day in Ponyville. I almost felt a moment of nostalgia from the whole ordeal.

And in no time at all, we were back in Carousel Boutique. It even looked the same as it had all that time ago, which…actually wasn’t unusual in the slightest. I guess the only difference was how I felt once I stepped back inside it.

Although, that didn’t mean that things were entirely smooth. Almost immediately after having Eve dismount from her, Twilight suddenly appeared to be rather flighty. Every now and then, she snuck glances at the boutique’s door while biting at her bottom lip.

“You need a wee or something?” I asked my unsteady companion. With a jolt so strong that I was surprised that she didn’t break her neck, the mare wrenched herself around in an attempt to answer me.

“No, no, no, no, no!” she protested, waving her forelegs around. “I just remembered that I needed to do something…”

Honestly, I could’ve entertained the idea of keeping Twilight around, but my heart wasn’t in it this time. “Well, go on then, hun. The world is out there waiting for you.”

“…May-maybe you could go gift shopping after this too…?” the giddy mare suggested for whatever reason. I could only laugh at how unnecessary how nervous demeanour was.

“Just go, madam; we’ll see you back at the castle later.”

And so, shakily, off she went. Without another word, she was gone within an instant, leaving me feeling somewhat rejected. I didn’t know where she had to be, but I hoped that it was more important than staying here with me.

Whatever- I was being yanked around anyway, so I doubted that I’d be given time to miss her. And Rarity was approaching as well, all dolled up for no reason whatsoever. It was just like old times.

“Good afternoon,” the pristine mare called out. Her voice was sharp yet welcoming; it made me stand up straight when I heard it.

“Yeah, we’re back,” I mumbled out in reply, sounding like a man who was out of his comfort zone. “Twilight…told us to come here…and now she’s gone again.”

Such an incomplete line of dialogue may phase some mares, but Rarity seemed to be the exception. “Yes, she mentioned the need for some new garments on your behalf. Perhaps something for the Grand Galloping Gala?”

She must’ve been expecting me to know what the hell she was talking about, so she was rather bemused when I didn’t reply. “…The Gala has not been discussed with you?”

The blank faces continued as a sort-of impasse descended upon us. The only thing I could do to alleviate this- aside from checking on what the little ones were doing- was to offer some vague point in the right direction. “I think Luna might’ve mentioned it…”

This seemed to have been good enough for my little seamstress. In the same friendly tone, she let me in on a little secret. “Well, if the order I have here is any adequate indication, you are invited. Congratulations.”

With such a cheerful delivery, it was hard for me to tell if she was being sarcastic with that last bit. I decided to be optimistic with my outlook this time- although I still had some questions. “Is it worth celebrating?”

“Oh, but of course! It is one of the most exclusive get-togethers in Equestria!”

Well, well, well- a party with the elite. A gathering of some of the most cardboard ponies around, no doubt. Rarity certainly had a high opinion of it though, but that could well have been from a ‘distant admirer’ kind of viewpoint. I was ready to turn my nose up at it.

“Yeah, but will I actually want to go?”

“Perhaps not. Are you a fan of royal pleasantries?”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“Then you probably have your answer.”

Time for some mixed feelings: firstly, what use was I going to have there? And even after that, what if I was to be paraded around on a leash, hence the new clothing? Twilight sent me here for a reason- but if Twilight was going to this place too, then I doubt that she’d let something happen to me.

Now that I’d thought about it, there was nothing ‘mixed’ about my feelings at all. I guess it was something to do. And besides, Rarity was still quite chipper about it, as she made her own positive comment of, “Although, just because one may not be a fan of the occasion, that does not mean that one cannot still look fabulous.”

I guess that meant that I didn’t have a choice as to whether I was going or not. Even so, it’d be nice to get some nice clothes- something for the occasion. If everyone would be wearing something nice, it might be the first time that I’ll come close to blending in.

In terms of manners, however, we were nowhere near to being part of the crowd. By ‘we’, of course, I’m lumping the girls into this, who admittedly were doing well to only touch the mannequins rather than pull them down. But yeah- I knew that they wouldn’t fit in well at the Gala.

I was moments away from bringing the girls back to me, but Rarity had other plans. “You can leave them be,” the mare stated. “Luckily for you, your foals won’t need to be measured again; I only need more accurate measurements for your clothing. A tighter fit and whatnot.”

That made sense: what else can you do with dresses anyway? Make them more flowy? I guess that also confirmed that the girls would be with me too, so that was something to consider- and I would surely consider it once I’d gotten some size adjustments.

“Okay girls- you hang tight for a few minutes.”

Neither Eve nor Eva had decided to ‘hang tight’. From the moment, the curtain was closed behind Rarity and I, rusting could immediately be heard behind the decorative fabric. At this point, I didn’t mind them seeing me shirtless; I’m sure they’ve seen it before.

Putting them to one side for a moment, I focused on what Rarity was doing. “So, you need to…” I half-prompted, eyeing up the seamstress’ many floating utensils.

“Twilight asked me to make you something more fitting for the Gala,” Rarity curtly replied, more concerned with her measuring tape. “As much of a pleasure it is to do so, I require some more accurate measurements.”

Wordlessly, my shirt was removed from my body as I assumed the position that Rarity undoubtably desired. It took but a moment for her to get going, humming a cozy tune while doing her duties on my chest.

But after a short time, she stopped and frowned at me. “Your stomach is rather…how do I put it…?” With a forehoof on her chin, she looked over my torso, her eyes scanning around its perimeter in a way not too dissimilar to one of Twilight’s gazes.

It was clear what she was alluding to, and it was a bit harsh. My stomach rolls had shrunk down over the last couple of years, but there wasn’t anywhere for the fat to go at this point. I know all about the ‘if you can pinch more than an inch’ crap, but come on now. You never see a dwarf with a six-pack. “Hey, it’s not through lack of effort: I’ve been working my arse off ever since I got here.”

Regardless of the bitterness in my voice, Rarity continued with her measurements unperturbed. “Of course, of course. I was merely commenting on human bodies in general rather than yours specifically.”

“That sounds like a very roundabout way of saying that I’m fat.”

“No, no, no- your foals seem to share your proportions after all.”

“This just keeps getting worse.”

I may have been brooding, but I think it was more likely that I needed to have a nap rather than me actually being upset about anything. After all, my mates always called me a fat bastard whenever I wanted something to eat, so Rarity was being pretty polite, all things considered.

Besides, I wasn’t alone. “You’re not fat, Mr. Bayard!” came a little whisper from behind the curtains. Eve’s face entered the space just after her voice did, showing me another thumbs-up that seemed even more unnecessary than the one before.

Trying to keep it together, I gestured for her to disappear once more, and she did so, seemingly having played her part perfectly. “That was rude of her…”

I sucked in a gulp of air as I waited for Rarity’s reaction. Worryingly, she gave me no expression to read into; she instead watched as I attempted to think of an excuse for Eve’s behaviour.

My inner thoughts must’ve been easy to deduce as the seamstress very quickly set herself back on task. “I assure you that it’s quite alright. Would you still like something of a tighter fit?” she enquired without bothering to look up at me. What a professional.

I couldn’t particularly focus on what the mare was saying; I was somewhat concerned about what the little ones were getting up to in my absence. Resultingly, I didn’t really think about my reply before it spilled out of my mouth- somewhat aggressively, I might add.

“Yes, I definitely would. I want to look good for Twilight.”

A giggle from Rarity brought me back to Earth. With a playful grin, she eyed me expectantly in a way that put me on edge. “You’ve been very preoccupied with her today. Is there any news that I should know of…?”

I was fortunate that Rarity had taken a break from her measuring as I instinctively turned myself away from the mare. A much larger laugh was elicited while my back was turned. “Your bubble is so easy to burst! And you needn’t worry about your garments: Twilight has never been the type of mare to care too much for decadence.”

Rotating back around, I was able to witness a much softer expression than I was expecting. Much could be portrayed by those eyes, and they were practically beseeching me to offer my side of the story. In this moment, I still said nothing, so Rarity spoke once more.

“Do treat her nicely, David. She is not one to ‘push the boat out’ with romance, as it were.”

There was only sincerity in Rarity’s request; it was quite easy to pity the mare when standing above her like this, yet I still found myself shrinking away from the ordeal.

“Rarity, we’re not even going out…” I quietly reminded the mare, my voice reflecting the tenderness of the conversation. Rarity continued this feeling by staying silent, her eyes once again doing much of the talking. “I mean absolutely no offence when I say this, but…I’m not a pony and she’s not a human.”

“And that is the only concern you have?”

Rarity had a strange way of making any reply sound quaint, regardless of its bluntness. It was her mellowed approach to the conversation that willed me to reply, even if I struggled to think of an answer. The seamstress’ measuring tape lay in heap on the floor; compassion was the only thing keeping me behind that curtain.

“But you know what I mean? Going out with another species…like, you’d rather be with me if I was a pony, right? It’s a difficult thing to think about.”

“Only difficult for some of us, dear.”

With this comment, Rarity picked up her measuring materials and let them float just above her head. I took this as my cue that she’d finished her work, so I offered the sort of vague, mildly positive statement that normally signals the end of a conversation. “I’ll talk to her about it.”

However, Miss Rarity was not yet satisfied. Even though I was more than happy to leave, I waited for the mare to make the first move. From there, it was clear that more needed to be said, as she, with a slight degree of tentativeness, continued. “Do say what you need to say, darling. Twilight is a lot stronger than she looks.”

“And just a moment ago, you were asking me to treat her nicely.”

“Love is complicated, darling- and you are a complicated pony.”

Her painful examination seemingly complete, Rarity turned away from me and back towards the curtain. I wasn’t entirely sure if she was satisfied with the conversation, so I added a little bit more for good measure. “I’ll have a chat with her at some point, then. I don’t know if I’ll be much good at it.”

I received no reply from Rarity; instead, she opened the curtain in front of us, revealing only Eve, standing tall and proud. “Mr. Bayard doesn’t like talking to people,” the little one gracefully elaborated, having decided that this information needed to be said.

“Yeah, but you sure do,” I retorted before flinging my arm in the girl’s direction, which she was happy to grab onto. “Where’s your sister.”

“Sleeping.”

Acting out a familiar ritual, I was led to the sleeping little lady. Stretched out over a lovely pink sofa was Eva, fidgeting in her slumber as if she was having a tough time drifting off. I calmy beckoned the girl with soft presses on her left shoulder until she lifted her head.

“If you’re going to go to sleep…” I started while lifting the sleepyhead from her seat. “…We’re getting you back to a real bed.”

I felt very little resistance with this. Eva wriggled slightly as I held her until I felt her body relax once more. And with this wordless agreement, I brought myself back to Rarity. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I’ve gotta get these two back.”

Rarity simply looked back at me amusedly. “You always have your hooves full…” she mused. “…But my measurements are all complete; do be sure to swing by when everything’s ready.”

“Well, how do I owe you, then? At least I can actually pay for something now.”

“No need, dear: Twilight already paid in advance.”

“Of course she did…”

Well, there wasn’t much use in staying here then. The finish line was in sight for us, and I was tempted to join Eva in having a nap when we got back. I wasn’t bothered enough to argue about payment this time.

And Rarity seemed happy with this. Having understood the pseudo-urgency in the air, she led us to the exit with a contented smile. I didn’t have any arms free, so I was thankful when the door to the boutique was opened for me. “Thanks for this, Rarity.”

“The pleasure is all mine, darling,” the little seamstress simply replied. “Take care, now.”

I could hear Eve give her own ‘goodbye’ as I stepped outside the boutique. A pattering behind me confirmed that she’d followed me out, and soon those blue eyes were drawing me in.

“Where do we go now?”

“Well, I think one of us needs a good sleep, so we’re going to go find Twilight.”

Chapter 21: Twilight's Room

The day had been long for all of us; any time I came to the conclusion that a day was coming to an end, a sunset always accompanied my assertion. I would’ve felt proud of this talent, but pathetic fallacy isn’t quite as impactful when you have somebody controlling the weather, apparently.

Even so, we were running out of daylight, so Twilight’s castle was soon to be within reach. My little gang had grown listless, so the only thing left to do would be to get past Spike the doorman.

Oh yeah, Spike was stood in front of the entrance for whatever reason. From his crossed arms and focused expression, it was clear that this dragon was not to be messed with- if he wasn’t about a foot tall.

“What’s up my guy? You enjoying the evening or have you just forgotten your keys?” I greeted Spike, who visibly flinched from my intrusion. It was if he didn’t see me coming.

This theory became more tangible as the little dragon turned himself towards the door and began to slap himself in the face. He seemed to mumble some kind of motivational speech to himself, daftly flexing his arms before deciding to face me once again.

I expected him to say something once the two of us made eye contact again. Unfortunately, Spike didn’t seem to be up for it; it was far too easy to watch the dragon suck in a deep, confidence-boosting gulp of air, just to suddenly speak up and witness the poor lad having to start the whole process again. “If you’re all good with waiting on the doorstep, I’m going to go inside now.”

“Wait!” Spike belted out almost immediately, forcing both of his arms out in front of him. “Tw-Twilight asked me to keep watch on this door…”

“Thanks for telling me that-”

“-And…and she needs more time!”

I had no idea as to why he sounded so urgent, but the way he thrusted his arms out was somewhat concerning. Twilight’s influence must’ve rubbed off on the little dragon, as the startled look on his face suggested that he was worth hearing out.

“For…” I prompted, doing my best not to look impatient.

“For…for…for something!”

I clumsily moved Eva’s sleeping form around my shoulders while crouching down to get somewhat near Spike’s eye-level. “Is there history of anxiety disorders in the family?” I asked my short friend, who did his best not to recoil away from me. I admit that watching him do this over-and-over again was beginning to lose its lustre.

“I’m not that scary, kiddo. See the soft fingers; see the tired eyes; see the…little girl surgically attached to my neck? I’m not out to get you.”

I struggled to stay down at Spike’s level for a variety of reasons that should all be apparent. As a result, when my attention was inevitably shifted away from the confrontation, Eve sought to take centre stage in my absence.

“You’re being scary,” the stern-faced soul informed me with a poke on my leg. Giving me a look of determination, she turned to Spike and began a slightly rehearsed-sounding introduction. “Good afternoon. My name is Eve. What’s your name?”

Now, I would’ve thought that this was the easiest question that you could ever be asked. Eve must’ve thought the same, as Spike’s continued silence made her stomp her foot in frustration. “Give me your hand,” she demanded of the dragon, roughly yanking the poor boy’s arm away from his side. “You shake it.”

Being given such a clear set of instructions, it continued to be surprising that Spike was still yet to make a move. Maybe his height had something to do with it, as even Eve practically towered over the little bugger. “…I’m Spike,” he eventually relented, slowly engaging in a minute handshake.

Only for a second, mind you- as Eve soon relinquished her grip amidst a growing restlessness. “I knew that,” she casually informed all of us before focusing on me once more. “Let’s go inside.”

“No- wait!” Spike reaffirmed, doing his best to dig Eve from out of the doorframe. This was clearly a losing fight for him, but his commitment to the cause was commendable, so I offered him some consolation.

“Spike you’re not going to get very far with us here; I’ve got cargo, and she’s got no patience. Unless Twilight’s doing something wildly illegal in there, I think we’ll be fine.”

“But she’s not ready yet-!”

It was obvious that Spike’s resistance was doomed to be futile, but I could appreciate his loyalty to keeping Twilight locked away. Eve showed less compassion for the sod; with an impatient “Come on,”, she dragged him by the arm into the castle.

“I hope I bought you some time, Twilight…”

Eve had already scampered out of my sight, but I could hear her pattering cease quickly after travelling through the castle’s entrance. Naturally, I found this rather intriguing, so I followed shortly after her to see what the fuss was about.

And it was certainly something. Lining the main hallway of the castle were several rows of balloons and banners, all mismatched in terms of colour and theming and arranged in a hurried way. Some were held in clusters while others had large spaces between them. I’m fairly sure that one or two of the balloons had already headed off towards the ceiling.

My focus on the space above me had caused me to miss the key feature of the place: in the middle of the room was a small table with a snow-white cloth draped over the top of it. More importantly, a decently sized cake rested atop it all; whether it displayed any writing or not, I couldn't discern from where I was.

And amidst all of these decorations was Twilight herself. For whatever reason, I found her perched atop a large ladder, the mare having chosen to forgo both her wings and her horn for this activity. I could only have imagined how much turmoil she’d already put herself through, provided that this work was hers alone.

I had wanted to stay silent and allow Twilight more time to work. Sadly, the door slammed shut behind me and caused the mare to wearily glance at her visitors. Once she’d made eye contact with me, I didn’t even have time to wave at the mare before she jumped back and fell from her ladder. I made it one step towards her before her wings kicked in, only capable of fulfilling their purpose when used on-instinct, it seemed.

It was strange to see Twilight fly; I know that she’d done it before, but seeing her hold herself up like this was…she looked very graceful. Slightly regal and refined was the aura she gave off, her lilac feathers slowly beating back-and-forth, each subsequent movement not quite in sync with the one before it. I dare say she looked beautiful up there.

“Spike!” Twilight called out to the dragon, her voice dripping with desperation rather than anger. She attempted to make her way towards us on the far side of the room, but faltered halfway, her voice sounding as despondent as her movements were. “How did you…”

Spike must’ve been more used to this than I was, as he slowly hobbled over to the downed mare with crossed arms, likely with the knowledge that a verbal debate wasn’t what she needed at that moment. I tentatively followed suit, allowing Eve to quietly hurry off in a different direction.

I normally would’ve had something to say about all this, but as Twilight lay there, grounded by a plan gone awry, I couldn’t comment on how pitiable it all looked. “But Rarity was supposed to keep you for longer…” the mare murmured, seeming more as if she was coming to terms with her reality rather than addressing me directly.

“You’re not thinking straight, hun,” I concluded. I tried to reach out to her, but a sudden of formation of tears in the mare’s eyes forced me to look away, turning my attention back towards the décor, which occupied the space about as confidently as Twilight did.

Now, I was expecting Spike to be the bearer of comforting hugs and kisses in this moment. How foolish I was. “I don’t know why you didn’t get Pinkie Pie to help you…” he instead chose to comment, which baffled me to no end. I’m sure that this tactic would’ve worked in the past, but in its wake, the tears behind Twilight’s eyes broke forth.

The sobbing that followed was something that I wasn’t prepared for. Very quickly, I watched this figure of optimism and clueless innocence break down into…this. I was only able to witness it for a moment, though, as the mare, tears and all, soon disappeared in a flash of magic.

I don’t quite know how to describe how her absence made me feel. To be honest, I didn’t know anything: what to think, what to do, what to say. Thankfully, Spike waved a claw at me in the corner of my vision. “She’s probably in her room- two doors down from the library,” the dragon stated, telling me exactly what I needed to do.

“Right. Yeah, I’ll go.”

As far as I could tell, that was all that Spike needed to do, as he similarly moved away from me, heading down one of the castle’s corridors. I very tentatively asked him something before he disappeared, hoping to gain at least some clarity from all this. “Spike- you’re not still scared of me, are you?”

The little dragon didn’t even acknowledge me; he just kept on walking. I sighed at this, my lethargic breathing pattern soon being replicated by Eva, still asleep throughout the chaos. I really needed to put her to bed, so there was no real excuse not to head off to Twilight immediately.

Still…Spike. Very much the anchor in his relationship with Twilight. Maybe he’s the one who stops Twilight from using her wings; it probably stops her from floating away. That still doesn’t offer much of a glimpse into how he sees me, though. Out of all the negative emotions he must’ve been feeling, somehow I doubted that ‘fear’ was at the top of that list.

The library was on the way to Twilight’s room; Eva had been dropped off so now I was on my own again. I wasn’t sure where Eve had gone either, but I’m sure that the two sisters would reunite soon enough.

So, here we are: Twilight’s room. Ordinary from the outside, I knocked on her door and waited for a response. I received nothing verbal, but a small rustling from within confirmed that Spike was correct in his assertion.

Before pushing the door open, I looked over each of my shoulders and took in the sight of the castle corridor. All these empty rooms; all these spaces to be occupied and explored…the number of memories that could be made in a place like this- and instead of all that, she was stuck with me.

Opening Twilight’s bedroom door was more of a test of mental strength than physical, and I likely had my eyes closed as I swung the thing open. Revealed behind the doorway was a room like any other in terms of size, but with small touches that gave insight into the mare who rested within it.

Constellations seemed to be Twilight's thing, as telescopes of varying sizes dotted around the room’s perimeter, as if they no longer had a place but were simply too valuable to throw away. If I were to use one of them on the night sky, I’m sure that I’d see a similar view to that which was painted on the room’s ceiling, as a vast, sprawling cosmos imposed itself above me.

Much of the rest of the room continued with this motif, as a few books with covers showcasing a similar theming were scattered about the place. Even Twilight’s bed covers housed the moon and stars. Perhaps envisioning the night sky brought her peace moments before slumber.

Before turning to the task at hand, one final object caught my eye. There was a small ornament that hung in front of the mare's bedroom window- a curious little circlet adorned with crystals in six groups of matching colours. Even in the low light of the day’s passing sunset, it still lit up the floor below it in a collection of hues that felt awfully familiar.

“Please go,” a weak voice called out to me, bringing my attention to its source. I watched as Twilight, wrapped up in her bed covers, raised her head to look at me before drooping back down again.

Everything about this was fragile- and it had no reason to be this way. The frailty that Twilight displayed caused me to hesitate for a moment, but then I remembered what I was here to do. “No, Twilight- I’m not letting that happen.”

Heart racing, I approached Twilight and stood just off to the side of where she lay. Not wishing to take up space on her bed, I sat down on the floor next to it, happy to look up at the mare as she fought to keep her sorrow to herself.

“If you’re gonna droop down, you’re gonna droop onto me- you got it?” I reassured the mare, who remained without a voice, letting her sniffling do most of the talking. “Hey, tell me what’s up. What’s made you act up today?”

Twilight looked down at me, yet she still lacked the strength to project any kind of thought onto me. Her tears had mostly stopped flowing by now, and it looked more like she was thinking to herself. I knew that I needed to keep coaxing her out.

“You’re not foolproof, Twilight; you’re allowed to get things wrong sometimes, and you’re allowed to feel like shit when things go wrong. Tell me what’s up so I can help you- and you know that I want to help you.”

I allowed Twilight to think, as her mouth begin to slowly open and close as if she was willing herself to speak once more. Giving the mare her space, I glanced at the coloured pattern that was projected onto her bedroom floor- just as it faded away in the sun’s absence. “You do a lot on your own, don’t you?”

I hadn’t expected an answer from the poor girl. Nevertheless, I eventually received one, and I immediately turned myself around to give Twilight my full attention. “Not as much as I used to. I usually rely on my friends, but…some things they just can’t help me with.”

I stayed silent for a while, hoping that Twilight would fill in the blanks. The last thing that she needed was for some loudmouth to interrupt her at this time.

“I didn’t have too many ponies to rely on growing up. Mom and dad were always at work; my big brother spent most of his time away from home…even the ponies in my class didn’t talk to me much.”

Thoughts were plentiful in my head as the mare continued. Much needed to be asked, yet I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt.

“It was only Spike and I for so long- and that hurt. I put too much on that little guy, and Celestia knows that he was too young to handle everything. It really hurt me, being alone; I know that it hurt him too.”

As Twilight continued on, she shifted in my vision. I felt one of her hooves brush against the top of my head as she looked more deeply into my eyes.

“But things are different now: I’ve got friends; I’ve got my family back; I’ve even got a big sister; and I’ve…I’ve got you.”

Her voice had picked up in volume and conviction during that last passage, but it had once again been brought back to that subdued, melancholy murmur that I’d experienced at the beginning of the conversation.

“And I want you to feel that way too- I want you to feel how I feel. I want you to feel that there are all these ponies around you who love and support you.”

With this comment, Twilight broke eye contact with me, caught somewhere between rolling over and sitting up. Either way, she was facing away from me, and it felt like I was being invited to make a contribution. “Who says I don’t?”

My question certainly brought Twilight back to me. As soon as those words left my mouth, she’d moved back to me, eyes tearing up again as they showed bewilderment above all else. “But Equestria has treated you so badly. I don't want it to be like that. It’s my home and I’ll always love this place; I want you to feel that way too.”

I felt for the mare; she was pouring her heart out. I placed a hand on one of her thighs as it lay beneath her blanket. “In what way have I been treated badly?” I innocently asked her, hoping that the rubbing of my hand on her thigh would keep her cool.

I know that she wanted to explode into a tirade full of an ungodly number of ‘beware’ and ‘I told you so’ comments with regards to the bruises along my body, but it was clear that she lacked the strength. Instead, she let out a deep, pained sigh before changing the subject slightly. “It’s just…the princesses are working you so hard and you haven’t had a chance to relax and you’ve gotten so hurt already and I wanted to give you a party because…”

The more Twilight spoke, the more childlike her speech became. It was as if all of her intellect was washing away to make space for her emotions. I grabbed Twilight’s forelegs and lightly pushed them down onto the bed so that they sat in her lap.

In a situation that reminded me of my time with the little ones, I silently waited for Twilight to work up the mental clarity to speak again. It felt as if I was supressing an earthquake given how much she was shaking as the tears continued to fall for a short while. Given time, she’d found the energy to speak, and delivered the quietest line of the night:

“…I’m worried that you think I don’t care about you.”

It was hard for me to hear what Twilight had said. I processed it eventually, and I took even longer to think of what to say afterwards. “So this is the message you’ve been trying to get across…”

My reply may have seemed all-knowing, but I was quickly becoming just as overcome as Twilight was. She’d not only done all of today’s events for me, but taken care of the girls, given me a home…Christ, she might’ve been the reason I was still alive.

“And I know it’s not the same for you as it was for me,” Twilight rebutted, despite being given no indication that she needed to. “To be taken away from your family- from your own species…it’s as fascinating as it is morbid. I had it so much easier than you, but I-”

I’d heard enough of Twilight trying to talk herself down. Pushing my hands into the mare’s bed, I leaned forwards until my lips connected with hers. I instantly heard her monologue draw to a close as an all-new noise arrived to replace it.

Naturally, we were both inexperienced with this sort of thing, and the question of consent was lingering in the back of my mind. With closed eyes, I was initially nervous about whether Twilight would accept the gesture, but a gentle push of her lips against my own was enough to persuade me that she was on board.

So, I continued, pressing back against her and placing my right hand over her cheek, brushing loose strands of mane away from her face. From the way the mare’s body shifted, I could tell that she was attempting to do the same, but clearly lacked anything to hold onto, and just sort of made an attempt at pulling me into a clumsy hug.

The kiss that we shared wasn’t fuelled by primal urges or even a particularly heavy surge of passion. Instead, I found comfort in the way that Twilight occasionally parted her lips before latching onto and lightly sucking on my own, clearly just relying on guesswork.

It should go without saying that I would’ve been doing the exact same thing had I decided to do little more than initiate the contact. As such, it was easy for me to pull away from Twilight, who let out the quietest of whines as I let her go.

After I had my lips to myself again, I took a moment to calm myself down, although thundering heartbeats suggested that this would take a great deal longer than I was prepared for. My blush as well…I was hot all over. I’d never felt like that before.

Still, Twilight seemed to be going through the same processes, albeit with the added surprise of the whole situation. The mare simply sat there, a forehoof having occupied the space that my hand had left behind, eyes blank as they seemed to stare off into the space above my left shoulder.

“I care about you too,” I commented in summary of the whole situation. “We can’t change what happened, Twilight- we can only work on a better future. For both of us.”

I found far too much amusement in watching Twilight stare off into space. It was too easy to be a bit snarky in this situation, so I clicked my fingers a few times to try and capture the mare’s attention. “You can put your hoof down, now.”

At the second time of asking, Twilight finally came back to me. Blinking away a fresh set of tears, her eyes focused on me as the cogs that whirred in her head seemed to have calmed down for now. “Only if you put your hand back,” she slowly replied, voice still shaky.

There was an obvious vulnerability to the mare’s words; one could’ve easily mistaken her weak delivery as showing disinterest, but I could tell that she needed it. I would’ve been happy to oblige, but an increasing loud (and impatient) voice was making its way up the corridor outside.

“Mr. Bayard…! We need you…!”

I must’ve looked a little bit annoyed because Twilight giggled at me. I watched as the mare, presumably more satisfied, pulled herself out of bed and onto all four hooves. With a small push, I did the same before making way to the bedroom door and pulling it open. “We’re in here, girls!”

And so, the horde approached. In preparation for this, I’d taken a few steps back- and I was right to do so, as the pair of tiny terrors forced their way into the bedroom. Eve in particular was beside herself with excitement. “Look at all the balloons we got!”

Well, she certainly had a reason to be so chipper: both of her hands were full of the bobbing bags of helium, always one loosened grip away from floating off to freedom. “They were captured!” Eva confirmed, hidden behind her sister; aside from her voice, the only indication that she was even there was a pair of balloons that bounced around in the background.

“Sorry that I ran off, girls,” I consoled the pair, watching as Eva finally came into view. The small sleep that she’d had must’ve helped her regain her energy; she certainly looked as if she was expecting something to happen. “I had something important to do.”

Thankfully, neither sister demanded more of an explanation. Rather, Eve was apparently feeling rather charitable, offering, “Do you want a balloon?” while presenting the gift in question, which I was happy to take for myself.

“Thank you very much…”

But no. Just as I was about to grab my new present by the string that held it down, it was ruthlessly ripped away from me by the one who’d offered it in the first place. “Are you going to say ‘please’ before you take it?” Eve questioned me as she hid my balloon behind her back.

“Please can I have a balloon?”

“Ok! But don’t pick my favourite!”

“Which one’s your favourite, then?”

“…I dunno.”

Having narrowed down nothing, I started the process of grabbing at random balloons and gauging my possible success rate over what kind of face Eve was pulling at the time. Soon enough, I managed to get away with one of them, although it really didn’t matter which one I ended up receiving.

Perhaps because I was feeling particularly anal at that moment, I lightly bashed my knuckle on the balloon’s surface. It felt real; it sounded real when I squished it…I don’t know, man- this whole place is doing a good job at making everything feel like it should do.

“An-And! Look at this!”

I was forced away from my fondling by Eve’s shrill cry. Holding aloft one of her balloons (which is a word that I’m very sick of at this point) she lowered herself into a batting stance before swinging it directly at Eva’s head, with which it made solid contact.

The hollow thud that the strike created echoed through Twilight’s bedroom- and I was immediately prepared for a mental breakdown. However, I was to be positively surprised, as Eva let out a happy squeal and returned fire.

With this hit, though, the balloon broke free from its string. Interestingly, once it fell away, it acted as if it had no helium in it at all, rolling on the floor and showing no intention of rising from it again. The girl’s brown eyes followed the object’s movements before being given a brand-new weapon by her adversary and recommencing the assault.

As the sound of laughter and heavy thuds filled the previously-stagnant air around me, I turned back to Twilight and offered her a shrug. In response, the mare beckoned me back towards her and leaned her head against me once I got there.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t enjoy your party,” she solemnly stated, although it was difficult to hear her when she spoke at such a volume. She was still clearly sore about the whole thing, even considering the remarkable change in atmosphere.

And I used this as my focus for my response. Pulling Twilight in slightly, I watched the two little girls as they played with the balloons. Throwing them, kicking them, rubbing them on their clothes to feel the static- it was clear that these hastily-assembled decorations had brought the girls a great deal of joy; Twilight must’ve been able to see that.

“Who says that my enjoyment matters the most right now?”

Chapter 22: A Feather, a Cake and a Candle

It took a little bit of coaxing to get Twilight off her arse and back down to where her decorations lay, but we were all eventually gathered near the castle entrance once more, albeit with far fewer balloons than we’d started out with.

Although actually, the mare had taken a quick detour into her little library and ushered the girls and I back to the castle entrance without her. Her promise of cake may have been enthralling to those under the age of ten, but I sadly wasn’t one of those people anymore.

Truth be told, I was amazed that the cake from earlier was still intact; the only blemish it had was a small swipe along its surface that had taken away a noticeable amount of icing. I wasn’t able to read what was on the cake at the start of this whole thing, so I had no chance of deciphering what it said now.

“So, who was it?” I asked the two sisters, who exchanged glances before returning their gazes to me. “Who was the little girl who couldn’t keep her still-icing-covered fingers away from the cake?”

I was obviously joking about this- it really didn’t matter. The only reason I did it was to watch only one of the girls very clearly give her fingers an inspection before clumsily trying to force all of them into her mouth.

With a grin, I snapped my fingers in front of the girl’s face. Her blue eyes instantly snapped onto me, still bold and playful- fully uninterested in whatever I was to say next, unless it was the offer of more cake. “Wasn’t me,” her guilty conscience had obviously told her to say, and I just stood and stared at her until she changed her mind. “It was me.”

“Yeah, let’s not do it again, eh?” I concluded, a yawn cutting off the end of my sentence. Again, there were more important things to worry about, such as figuring out when I could go back to bed. I’m sure that Twilight would soon grant me some mercy once all the festivities were over with.

And soon enough, the mare appeared, carrying a book and a box of candles. The way that she held both of these objects aloft, proudly displaying them, suggested that they both had a role to play in the near future. “What’s the book for, Twilight? I know you didn’t bring it in here as a conversation starter.”

“Well, it certainly piqued your interest, so it’s done its job,” she rebuked. Once the mare was stood in front of me, she placed the book into my hands and went into what I can only assume is her ‘teacher mode’. “This is a spell book; you’ll need this because it’s time for your first lesson: levitation.”

To help me put the pieces together, Twilight opened the box of candles and grasped one of them in her magic. Very simply, she carried the candle out of the box and onto the cake next to it. The movement had a smooth arc that I would never be able to replicate, no matter how many needless demonstrations Twilight decided to give me; I knew what levitation was.

Actually, she might’ve had a point because I suddenly felt incredibly unsure of what to do next. I knelt down to pick up the box in order to see its contents, but this was apparently not allowed in Twilight’s house as the container was moved out of range. “Ah-ah-ah! No hands.”

Having taken away my main selling point as a human- and a load of my confidence- Twilight looked up at me smugly; I guess I really was in her domain now. After our earlier kiss, it was easy to think of several ways to wipe that smirk off her face…

…

The book. Talk about the book.

I opened the book in my hands to reveal an inside like any other. The contents page was as you’d expect, at least, just with fancier handwriting that certainly hailed from a bygone era. I was still a bit crap with reading Equestria’s writing normally, so this shit made my head spin.

Twilight must’ve been able to sense my uncertainty, as she silently turned the pages for me until we got to levitation- or a word that looked like it if I squinted my eyes enough. I mean, there was only one word to focus on.

The page had nothing more than the word ‘levitation’ scribbled onto it and a fancy border around the middle of the page, as if somebody was supposed to write the ‘spell’ into the empty space but just decided not to. “Twilight, this page is blank.”

At this point, I felt as if my mind had begun to fail me; I knew that Twilight wouldn’t do something like this unless she had some sort of humiliation kink. Still, my commitment to her lesson was quickly fading in the wake of comments such as, “It’s supposed to be blank; you read it with your eyes closed.”

“Is this a hidden camera prank or…?”

I know that I didn’t have much of a reason to be cynical, but I’d been without a good night’s sleep for what felt like my entire life. In this instance though, I didn’t need to be too positive, as both Eve and Eva sought to remind me of my duties with varying levels of support.

“Focus, Mr. Bayard!”

“Trust Twilight!”

I’m fairly certain that Eva spoke whilst sucking on her thumb; the night couldn’t come soon enough for all of us, it seemed. Either way, I needed to get through this little event before I could even think about drifting off.

“I want you to do this too, David,” Twilight reminded me, and I cursed myself for even displaying the possibility that I needed such reassurance. I really needed to focus on this thing.

Wordlessly, I nodded and planted my gaze firmly on the page, giving it one last glance while awaiting Twilight’s instruction. “Stare at the blank space- really focus on what you think the page should say- and when you’re ready, close your eyes.”

Taking Twilight’s advice, I held the book in front of my face and focused on the empty space that was marked on the page. I scanned for any possible hidden words or symbolism that could’ve been presented, yet I found nothing.

“Aren’t there supposed to be riddles and whatnot for me to try to comprehend?” I asked Twilight, who gave me a knowing smile.

“Only if the spell’s convoluted…” she began with a slight blush tinging her cheeks. She quickly shook away this demeanour, reoccupying her teacher role. “Slow down; take in the empty space. It won’t work if you’re sceptical.”

Back to the blank page, then. I continued to study it, hoping for something to happen, until I felt my vision change. Right in front of my eyes, the page shifted within itself, not revealing anything, but certainly being too noticeable to ignore.

“Now, close your eyes.”

And so, I was placed into darkness. Almost literally, it felt, as my senses felt disconnected from my body. I couldn’t even feel the air on my skin; from the sounds of it, I’m sure that Eve was trying to get her sister to join her with something, but I felt unable to react to it- let alone respond.

Then I saw it: that damn page again. It floated in front of me, still the same as it always was, but then it changed. It felt as if my eyes were closed for a second time, as various illustrations and instructions overwhelmed my eyelids, all purporting to offer insight into this mysterious power. I tried to open my eyes due to the sensation, yet I found them to be welded shut.

Trapped in my own mind, an incredible pressure enveloped my skull as if it was being assaulted from all angles. But I felt an understanding- I felt myself know. It would never be possible to describe it.

Amidst the chaos, I saw a feather, golden and lighting the void around it. Suddenly, I saw it rise in front of me- and I felt myself give the command for it to do so. The pressure in my mind weakened and soon the feather began to fall. I watched as it descended to a point just above the lower limit of my vision before I felt the pressure again.

My mind willed- yearned, even- for the feather to rise again, and I felt my subconscious connect with it once more. Within the darkness, I beckoned for it to surge upwards, and so it did; the golden light it irradiated bathed more and more of my psyche- a blank canvas previously painted black- in a warmth that resembled the aftermath of a flame.

More did the feather rise, increasing the pressure inside my head even further, as if the object’s continued ascent required evermore effort to keep it afloat. There were no tears to cry, no grunts to form, no soul to scream out in exertion as the feather finally was lifted from my vision, leaving only its light to burn brightly in its absence.

My eyes suddenly snapped open, and I could feel my body once more. I immediately collapsed to my knees, gasping for air, as the rediscovery of my senses left me momentarily unable to control them. Even in this temporary exhaustion, I was scared to close my eyes; I knew that I’d still be able to feel the burning upon my eyelids.

I felt both hooves and hands make contact with my shoulders and neck, both having offered support during an obviously difficult experience. Currently on my knees and facing the ground, I witnessed Eve slide herself underneath me until she was able to look into my eyes from her place on the floor, our chests now parallel with one another. “Are you okay?” she asked me, showing clear concern.

I found myself unable to respond to her. Amidst all the sensations, I struggled to focus on one particular emotion, but I watched several tears fall from my face and impact upon the little girl’s shoulder, creating a noticeable wet patch that her fingers inquisitively skirted along the surface of.

Just as my senses returned in an instant, my mental clarity soon followed. Having regained this part of my psyche, I pushed myself away from this position, feeling a weight upon my back that answered any questions as to where the other sister had run off to. Twilight thankfully entered my vision after this, sporting what could only be seen as a look of pride on her face. “The first time is always the scariest.”

In that moment, I was glad that she was so self-assured- because I was barely hanging on. “What the hell was that?” I asked the mare, thoroughly out of breath and barely able to put any force behind my words.

“That was the act of comprehension,” she explained. “The old scholars made it sound more important than it is. It’s something that every unicorn goes through when learning magic for the first time.”

I could’ve cried. “So, I did it?” I shakily attempted to summarise. My speech must’ve sounded less like a question and more like a statement formulated on wishful thinking. Any glances at Twilight’s face revealed no answer, as she simply shifted the box of candles until it sat at my feet.

“I can’t answer that- but you can show me.”

Never had a simple wax stick seemed so terrifying. I stared at it for a good while, straining my neck while trying to wish the thing into the air. “Gently bring it to you; trying too hard will push it away,” I heard Twilight say, so I took a breath and started again, aiming for more mental clarity this time.

Despite my previous fear of it, I felt a sudden need to close my eyes once more, and I was unable to stop myself from doing so. When reacquainted with the inside of my eyelids, the golden light returned to me as I felt my mind grip something.

It was as if I was given a third hand to control as, much like with the feather before, I found myself with the ability to will something into the air- not kept within my eyelids this time. I continued to feel the object move upwards until it got snagged on something- or at least giving off the impression of doing so. Confused, I opened my eyes, hoping to see what was happening.

And there was the candle, floating just inches from my face. More than that: the rest of the box too. I could possibly have been convinced that I was carrying just one of the candles, but apparently all the others had come along for the ride, likely getting caught on each other as I fumbled around with them.

It was clear that Eve was impressed with this. Even in the most focused state of my life, I could hear the raven-haired girl’s gasp of wonder followed by the sound of her smacking something rapidly. I didn’t have the ability to notice what she was hitting, but a grumbling from Eva suggested that she was the target.

Even with my eyes open now, the candles in my mental grasp continued to slowly move. For whatever reason, Twilight had deemed it necessary to move the cake approximately eight miles away from me, so this process took some time. I’m sure that the only reason I didn’t lose faith was due to the constant, high-pitched encouragement that I received.

“Do it!”

“Come on, Mr. Bayard!”

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing- and I couldn’t really believe that I was the one doing it- but my mind was continuing to purportedly push the candles along until they hovered just above the cake. From there, it was as simple as lightly pressing the candles into the layer of icing, in which they were soon embedded nicely.

It was only when the task was done that I was able to seriously think about what had just transpired. When I could finally do so, my knees became reacquainted with the carpet in another instance of my lack of understanding.

“That was you- you did that!” I all-but screamed in Twilight’s direction, pointing at the mare like I was singling out the culprit in a police lineup. Twilight just giggled along.

“You did it! You did it, you did it!” the little alicorn proclaimed, diving at me and tackling me to the ground. “I’m so proud of you!”

She nuzzled against my face as she took full advantage of the leverage she possessed. Amidst the palpable affection that she displayed, I was a little worried that she was being too obvious in front of the children, but I was still happy to be on the receiving end of it.

“I’m impressed: most unicorns need whole classes before they learn their first spell,” Twilight continued once she’d given me space. She eventually got off me and took a step back, showing me that ever-present blush of hers. I would’ve spent more time focusing on it, but I was on the edge of a revelation:

“So, I’m actually good at something…”

Such a comment was bound to be celebrated by those around me; after Twilight’s own praise and approval, the two little ones had greeted me with wild declarations of enthusiasm and a load of questions that I would never be equipped to answer, all to then scamper off once they’d had their presence felt.

I would’ve liked to have engaged in a mental victory lap, but I was unable to do so for two reasons: one involved a pair of miscreants trying to run off with a cake, whose attempts I did well to put down, and the other involved a studious alicorn’s attempts to keep me grounded.

“Well, you are a fully-grown stallion after all…”

“Yeah, alright mate- don’t let me celebrate this, then.”

In spite of my sardonic tendencies, Twilight let out a laugh before rushing me once more. I guess that was her version of a war cry. This time, however, Eve was able to interrupt this interaction by clearing her throat, which did well to capture the room’s attention. “Can we please eat the cake now? It looks really yummy.”

“One more thing,” Twilight quickly responded, still on the ball, it seemed. With a whir of magic, the lights inside the castle were dimmed. I felt two pairs of hands awkwardly fumbling around my own as the cake’s candles soon were set ablaze, much to the audible amazement of the little ones.

Eve’s excitement was particularly clear; she could deliver impressively quick slaps. “Don’t hit me!” I declared in an attempt to shut the girl down- which I was partly successful with. “Not Eva either!”

Even with some degree of slap-stopping, the scene was set. It was calm, quiet and beautiful in its simplicity. “Do you girls want to blow out your candles?” I asked the pair, who gave me a look that I wasn’t entirely surprised by.

“What’s ‘blow out your candles’?”

Sensing a new life experience, I led the two girls towards the candles in question. “It’s what you do at parties and things. You get your candle and you blow,” I explained before giving the girls a demonstration. “And now it’s gone. Only do yours, though.”

Both girls did some kind of movement that implied a level of understanding. I know that I’m dragging on a bit here, but truth be told, I just really liked this moment. It really made me happy for some reason.

There was only one thing missing. “Hold on a minute,” I announced. “Spike! Get in here, you miserable bastard- we’re having cake!”

Today had been wonderful. Between the massage, the magic and every intimate moment in between, I was definitely able to say that this was the best day so far. I wish that my mum was with us for all this. She’d have loved to have seen how well I was doing.

Of course, the cake was fantastic: beautifully sweet without being too sickly. To make things even better, the girls had run themselves into the ground due to all the walking around outside and running around inside, so they were thankfully sleeping away back in the library.

Spike had also gone back to whence he came, the grumpy bugger. Still, the existence of his own room reminded me that the girls could probably do with an actual bedroom again, although the possibility of returning to Canterlot consistently hung over my head like the sword of Damocles.

Therefore, by the process of elimination, that left just Twilight and I, quietly moving about and gathering any loose clutter that remained on the floor. I say this as if we were working as some kind of collective, but Twilight seemed more focused on other matters.

It took me a little while to notice, yet it soon became obvious that Twilight was busying herself with a smidge of creative writing. “You writing a diary entry or something?” I asked the mare, who jumped from my voice’s intrusion into the silent space.

“I’m writing about your experience. You’ll need it for later if you want to try the magic again,” she bluntly replied, as if she was stating the blindingly obvious.

“Shouldn’t I be writing about my experience?”

I shouldn’t have said that. Instantly, a roll of paper was forced into my hands with an ink-soaked quill not too far behind it. “Tell me everything!” Twilight declared, having also seemingly travelled at the speed of light to get to me. “What was it like? What did you feel? Who was your teacher? I wonder who your teacher was because my-”

In an attempt to hush Twilight, I took one of my hands and firmly planted it atop the giddy mare’s head. Granted, this loosened my grip on the scroll, which quickly unravelled with its contents spilling onto the floor. “I didn’t see a teacher- just a feather.”

As if she wasn’t already close enough, Twilight forced herself even further into my personal space with a look of confusion. “A feather? You didn’t see anypony at all?”

I explained the process to Twilight, who approached the situation with curiosity rather than scepticism, despite having apparently received a completely different experience. In turn, she described her own learning, and how there was supposed to be somepony inside the page to guide pupils through the process.

“I wonder why it was so different for me,” I mused rubbing my knuckle along my cheek.

“My guess would be that’s just how older spells were learned,” Twilight similarly pondered. She turned away from me and picked up the spell book in order to scan its cover. “I knew that the books were different, but I didn’t think it’d be in that way.”

“Why don’t you try it yourself?”

“That’s not how it works. You can only learn a spell once.”

Having not found any answers, Twilight rather vigorously placed the spell book onto the floor next to her. Without really knowing why, I laughed at this display of minor petulance, although my own expression of amusement was cut short by a sharp jolt of pain behind my eyes. “Still, it hurt like nobody’s business. I don’t know why they couldn’t have just written it all down.”

Twilight clearly understood my plight; a glass of water was soon presented to me, so I sat down on the floor. It was nice to look up at the alicorn sometimes as it brought me a good deal of comfort. The reassuring smile that continued to be etched onto her face while she spoke was likely one of the reasons for this sensation.

“That’s why magic is so hard; earth ponies and pegasi can’t comprehend what should be written on that page. They have so many strengths, but they just can’t visualise the page’s contents- they can’t convert something they can’t see into something tangible.”

It was clear that Twilight minding her manners when delivering this explanation. I was catching onto what she was saying- in places. “So, they lack an imagination?”

“No! No- not at all!” the mare firmly rebuked, forehooves frantically waving as she took on the appearance of somepony who did not want to be misinterpreted. “There are so many intelligent earth ponies and pegasi. We just have something that they don’t…and I hate how that sounds when said out loud.”

I could only imagine how difficult it must be to explain something like this without sounding like a rampant racist, so I think Twilight did alright. “I know you didn’t mean it like that. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, like you said,” I did my best to reassure her.

Although we’d tried to keep this conversation as amicable is possible, Twilight looked particularly dejected as she turned back to me. It was likely that we were talking about something that only gets discussed once out of principle and then never again.

“We all need each other. It’s how Equestria was founded, after all- but it’s no surprise that some of the most arrogant ponies you see are unicorns.”

The alicorn’s solemn demeanour continued; if anything, her body language was hinting at a progressively more negative viewpoint. “There are arseholes everywhere, Twilight,” I stated in an attempt to raise the mare back up. “I mean, look at me- and I’m one of the better ones where I come from.”

Clearly, my attempt at elevating the mood was unorthodox as far as Twilight was concerned, but she pushed herself against me all the same. “You’re one of the good ones; I wouldn’t want anypony else,” she timidly told me, doing her best to make eye contact via fleeting, weak-willed glances that never fully lingered long enough to have much of an effect.

“Besides, you know that I’ve met Blueblood. He’s a tosser but he’s not that bad either,” I reminded Twilight while craning her neck so that she was forced to look at me. I ruffled her mane a little bit, and I enjoyed watching it break off into strands. “There can’t be many ponies worse than him.”

My continued rubbing was working well at bringing Twilight back to me. She looked almost content as she prepared her reply. “You’ll see for yourself at…the…Gala…”

I watched with amusement as Twilight’s eyes went wide with a sudden realisation. “Did you forget something important?” I smugly enquired as the mare seemed ready to burst.

“Sweet Celestia- I knew I forgot something! I’m so sorry!”

She looked at me with a sorrowful expression that I tried hard not to laugh at. Sadly, I’m not that strong. “You silly bugger. Rarity told me earlier, so no worries.”

Even with this reassurance, Twilight still looked as if she lacked a bit of confidence, and I didn’t really blame her. This day had clearly been a lot for her to handle. “You still need your ticket,” she reminded me, floating a golden…ticket (are there really no appropriate synonyms?) towards me.

In case you couldn’t tell, I had an interest in how things felt to the touch- and this little scrap of paper was something else. It was so beautifully smooth, and it glistened in the dwindling candlelight. This must’ve been what the high life was all about. I could’ve rubbed it in very intimate places with a smile.

And that was before I’d even read the thing. All the cliched crap about being ‘cordially invited’ was all present and accounted for, along with my name in some fancy handwriting that I’d only ever be able to reproduce if I was writing with my left hand. It also included a lavish little magic timer, ticking down to indicate when the Gala started, which was apparently…

“Wait- it’s in three days?”

Chapter 23: The Obligatory Gala Chapter

Right: let’s fast forward again. Specifically, three days. Apparently, when Luna mentioned that the Gala was due to commence at ‘the end of the month’, she meant to say that I had less than a week. Real planning genius there, Luna.

But that’s besides the point. Here I was all suited and booted (with much love from Rarity) in Canterlot Castle’s throne room, hours before the big event was due to start. In anticipation of the big event, I was unbearably nervous, bordering on nauseous- and in the middle of an argument.

“I have absolutely no idea why you’re even suggesting that they should come along! Are they supposed to sip on the complementary martinis before or after their orange juice?!”

As could perhaps be deduced, Eve and Eva were the topic of this conversation- although they were only here in spirit. They were stashed away somewhere with Twilight, leaving only me, Celestia and…well, Luna wasn’t here yet, but I was half-expecting her to come from behind and strangle me again.

Until she arrived, though, it was me and the big one. Irritatingly, she was all confident and relaxed in her lovely throne, living the life of a self-assured monarch who had everything under control. “They deserve to see all of what Equestria has to offer,” she’d offered as an explanation for her actions, which just annoyed me even further.

“They ‘deserve’ to have a good night’s sleep and be rested for tomorrow!”

“What’s happening tomorrow? Do they have school?”

Ooh, she deserved a slap. A slap delivered by someone other than myself of course- both for moral reasons and because of the whole ‘goddess who could kill me in her sleep’ level of power that I was dealing with. Playground insult though. I still felt safe around the princess, hence why I was comfortable enough to have this outburst, but all her royal favours and reassuring words did little to stop my blood from boiling when she was like this.

And what fucked me off was that she just sat there, watching as I fired a whole load of accusations and hyperbolic outbursts at her. She’d only spoken to me in short, simple sentences that probably sounded wise and well-mannered, but all it did was irritate me further; she always sported the most contented of grins whenever I interrupted her. It was as if she got off on it.

Yeah, it’d been a rough evening. It was probably my fault, too. But I was so uptight about the whole thing because I knew what letting those two little girls loose would cause: at best, there’d be a hefty fine, and at worst, there’d be a manslaughter charge. Or the pony equivalent, I guess.

“Listen, Celestia- you can’t have them running around in here; they’d be much better off away from any potential carnage and safely in bed,” I did my utmost to reason with the monarch, as, even if she relented only slightly, it’d make this night a hell of a lot easier and less eventful, which would be better for everybody.

Everybody except the princess, sadly. With that smug look of enjoyment, she continued. “And who would watch them while they slept? My dear sister may be omnipotent, but she certainly isn’t omnipresent.”

Well, that was a lie. Luna’s a lovely lady, but she didn’t warrant the use of any adjective with the ‘omni’ prefix. But then again, Celestia still spoke some sense; I wasn’t having Twilight sedating anyone again, so I was in quite a bind. “You’re just…”

Celestia knew when she had me in a corner, although I couldn’t be sure why she was being so insistent about this. “The Gala starts in the early evening,” she’d explained. “You can allow them some time to explore the castle grounds before bedtime? I’m sure they would love the cuisine.”

Every time the princess spoke, I swear my nausea doubled. I just couldn’t understand her insistence on me bringing those two along. Despite this, even in the darkest of times, there is always a way out of a social obligation- and I’d just found it.

“You know what- that’s a fantastic idea: I’ll let them stick around until bedtime. I tell you though, madam: once we get to bedtime, we are all getting out of there. You must’ve forgotten that I don’t want to be there either. I have no interest in your Mickey Mouse party.”

In spite of my slang, I seemed to have gotten my point across. Perhaps a little too well, as the princess showed me that she’d listened. Without a word, she leaned forward on her throne and eyed me hungrily like I was on a one-way trip to the abattoir.

“Ponies have directed lighter insults yet served heavier punishments before you, David.”

Now that was scary. Forget all the stuff that Spike had conjured up in his mind about me; he’d be shitting himself if he’d been on the receiving end of that stare. However, there was still a playful nature to Celestia’s voice- and what else are you to do when presented with a bull than grab it by the horns?

“Yeah, well, you need me right now- for whatever reason. I’ve been busting my arse for you recently, so you owe me this much.”

From this assertion, Celestia only smiled. “Quite. I tell you: Luna was right- such a sour disposition is refreshing from time-to-time.”

I didn’t have much to say to that. Obviously, ‘cheeky bastard’, but not really anything worth mentioning. The princess had the most profound ability to walk the line between fakery and flattery- and I’d probably just be playing the role of the court jester if I kept arguing.

“So, fine,” I calmly relented to the princess, happy to just go back to my room like a good little boy. “I’ll be here when this all starts and then I’m going to bed.”

Celestia was merciful in her reply. “That sounds like the perfect plan. Why didn’t you suggest it sooner?”

And you know what? That was fine. Any type of compromise was good enough at this point, so I shook my heavy head before lowering it to the floor. Closing my eyes, I willed for the world to fall asleep with me; my sanity must’ve been slipping if I was pleased with an outcome like that.

In fact, my standards were so low that I even offered an apology. “Sorry if I was rude before, princess. I just don’t like parties at the best of times because they are never particularly welcoming for me. I shudder to imagine what the little ones’ contributions to this…thing will be.”

But then, something amazing happened. In perhaps the second time I’ve ever felt Celestia’s warmth, the princess pulled me towards her- quite literally, given her magic- and placed a hoof on my shoulder. “You know that Twilight will be attending,” she reminded me, still stood above me on her perch next to the throne.

“Yeah, but she’s got her own friends. Her family will probably be here too. With those guys in the picture, I think the best-case scenario would be them leaving me alone.”

Celestia’s hoof continued to rest upon my shoulder while I simmered. Various scenarios about the upcoming evening flashed through my mind, all carrying the same, dismal feeling of dread that all plans that are doomed to fail are accompanied by.

I really did just want to be left alone. If the girls were forced to be in-tow, then I’d just want to sit with them and do nothing until they felt tired. I would surely be tired enough. I didn’t need to meet people or engage in any theatrics; I needed to keep my head down and sit in the corner until I could go home.

So, that was the plan. Granted, such a scheme could only be crafted solely out of wishful thinking, but it was an idea. Maybe the numerous, extremely powerful guests would pay no attention to the scruffy biped and his two sidekicks.

Oh yeah, and I’d lost any further arguments about the girls not needing to be here. They looked lovely in their little dresses (wonderfully woven and sparkling with reds and yellows, courtesy of Rarity and her sleepless nights), but I knew that their elegance was skin-deep. ‘Wolves in sheep’s clothing’ and all that. That’s probably the wrong analogy.

Regardless, the ‘party’ had begun. It was about what I’d expected: some fancy ‘so-and-so’s milling about in their designer dresses. I hadn’t seen anyone familiar yet, which felt like a victory to be honest, so I too fell into a routine of awkwardly wandering into empty spaces and trying to keep the little ones from doing something stupid.

It’d been like this for a while. Eve would go and run to look at something shiny, ask a few questions about it, and then go back to vaguely being within my vicinity. Eva was just…I could tell that she really hated it.

Fuck this. I was miserable, Eva was miserable (and falling asleep), and Eve was only having fun because she had a new space to run around in, like she was a labrador. Adding to this was the fact that Celestia was nowhere to be found, so it was similarly in the girls’ and my best interests to disappear as well.

With that, I headed to the door, hoping to cut this chapter short, only for somepony unexpected to appear at the entranceway: Twilight’s mother…whose name escaped me at that moment. Somepony whose name I still remembered was Night Light, just a few moments behind and looking only slightly more engaged than I surely was.

“Easy there, Velvet,” the stallion wearily warned, giving me the name that alluded me. “I’m not as young as I used to be.” It appeared that the stairs were giving him some difficulties as he seemed to be all-but limping up the last few.

“Oh, you tease,” Velvet mocked with a wave of the hoof. She helped her husband up the last few steps, holding him by a very particular place. “I know you keep all your energy down there,” she quickly added while…I mean, you can imagine where she might’ve been grabbing with her magic. No wonder Twilight’s such a wreck.

Now, the plan at this point would be to get through the door without those two noticing me. The obvious issue was that they were currently in the door- and from the look of excitement on Mrs. Velvet’s face, they weren’t going anywhere for a while.

I wish I’d had an extra hand to cover Eve’s eyes with, but Eva had decided to reattach herself to my neck and subsequently required my attention. Granted, that still left me with one free hand to guide the raven-haired girl away from this mess. Sadly, I knew that things were going to get worse before they got better.

For example: the frisky couple had noticed me coming. With a wave, the couple called me over, and I was soon brought in for a quick handshake with Night Light, at which point I offered my greetings to the stallion.

If it were any other mare, I’m sure that my offer of a handshake would’ve been satisfactory, yet Mrs. Velvet hadn’t come this far to be labelled as ‘any other mare’. “Oh, come here!” she’d exclaimed, dragging my arm down so that she could give me a quick peck on the lips.

I was a little surprised about this; I wasn’t too familiar with this kind of behaviour. Even so, it was over in an instant, and it just seemed to be the sprightly mother-of-two’s charming way of displaying her affection. Either way, I was delighted when Night Light started talking. “What brings you to the Gala?”

With a laugh, I readjusted myself so that Eva, who’d naturally given up, was positioned more comfortably on my torso. “I’ve got no choice,” I explained, sounding much prouder than I’d intended. “I was actually about to leave.”

Mrs. Velvet pouted at this, mimicking the mannerisms of somepony half her age. “After all the work you’ve put in to look this good?”

I couldn’t say that I hated the attitude. It may’ve come across as a bit desperate, but why not let loose sometimes? Particularly as she’d gotten all dolled up, in her lovely flowing dress and a face full of makeup.

And it certainly wasn’t a wasted effort. Her lipstick in particular was incredibly eye-catching, although looking at her lips reminded me of where they’d likely been. My mind went back to the mare’s unorthodox greeting, and I suppose I spoke without really thinking. “I don’t really know where your lips have been, madam.”

Given that this comment was entirely irrelevant to the conversation, Mrs. Velvet didn’t skip a beat. If anything, she looked even more eager. “But I know where Twily’s have been! Has she made a move on you yet?” she excitedly asked, thankfully not jumping into my face like her daughter usually did.

“Not…exactly, Mrs. Velvet.”

I must’ve been letting off quite a blush as I turned away from the mare’s eager grin. She knew I was full of shit, commenting, “You can’t fool me, boy- I know what stallions do when they’re alone!” while simultaneously elbowing her husband, hoping to garner some support from him.

“You’re worryingly invested in your daughter’s sex life,” I hesitantly concluded. This hesitancy doubled for every second that the three of us subsequently stood in silence, so I knew that now was the perfect time to escape. “I’m…gonna put these two to bed now.”

Despite having nearly brought me to my knees with her silence, Mrs. Velvet seemed alright with this. “Send them my love, beautiful- but do hurry back. I’ve got a glass of champagne with your name on it!”

The idea appealed to me, even if I hated the taste of champagne. “I don’t drink, but thank you. I get very emotional when I’m drunk,” I tried to explain, hoping to have found an adequate justification for calling it a night. Sadly, no.

“That shouldn’t stop a stallion from having fun! Come on back to me.”

I didn’t give the mare an answer. Even so, Mrs. Velvet was definitely an optimist, so she knew that I’d be back. No matter what, Eve and Eva needed to go to bed, so that was the first objective. Only then could I even consider the possibility of going back to see that maternal bucket of hormones.

“I’m certainly not giving them your love, Velvet…”

David is not always the simplest of figures to understand. This gets even worse when he drinks. Therefore, any ramblings or think pieces that he could have conjured up after he inevitably went back to Twilight Velvet and drank his own weight in champagne would have been lost on the average pony.

He had done his duty and stayed with his foals until they fell asleep. Unbeknownst to him, such was his fixation on Twilight’s mother, Eve had very quickly left him behind during his previous conversation with the mare, having long come to the conclusion that she was to go to bed.

So, they were out of the picture for now, leaving David in a champagne-induced buzz and within the clutches of Twilight’s parents. Such was the trio’s eagerness to get the party started, several glasses had been consumed, filled to the brim, and consumed again, leaving the human in a state of heightened emotion.

“Fuck off- are you that old?!” the human had shouted out during a discussion about age- far louder than was necessary. “Do ponies never age or some shit? You look about as old as Twilight! How do you do it?” He swung his glass of champagne as he made his accusations, long past the point of caring about how much of its contents soaked into the carpet.

“Oh, you’re too sweet! If Twilight doesn’t make it official soon, I might just have to take you myself!” Mrs. Velvet exclaimed in response to the boy’s antics, having apparently found them to be rather enjoyable.

It was bemusing as to how the trio had not been forcefully escorted from the premises. Any laugh too loud or slosh of liquid too audible led to angry glances and hushes from those around them. Yet these three were unperturbed, uninterrupted and completely uninterested in the plights of the ponies around them.

Actually, this was not strictly true. David still had an interest in seeing a particular pony tonight; perhaps the alicorn’s imminent presence was the only reason that he could stomach her parents. The alcohol had certainly gotten to him, so he sat back and stared up at the ceiling as it spun in his vision.

“You’re thinking about her again- aren’t you, lover boy?”

Outside of his vision, Mrs. Velvet giggled to herself. Once he had placed the mare back within his eyeline, he was able to witness a lady too far gone. She smugly pressed her face into his, almost daring the human to act, as if this was a game of spin-the-bottle between high schoolers.

Somehow, David found it within him to push away from the mare. “Well, she’s hard to forget. She’s like the Genesis of it all: she’s been here since…sorta day one. I need to show her how much I wanna thank her. I wanna see her tonight…” he mumbled to himself, lacking both volume and coherence in his voice.

He sat in silence after this comment, paying no attention to Night Light’s rehearsed attempts at bringing his wife back under control. The stallion was successful, and once David brought his gaze back to the conversation, it was as if the previous thirty seconds were all part of his imagination.

“I’m sure she will find you eventually,” Night Light reassured the human. “Have you seen her dress? Her friend really is a master with the needle.”

“She hasn’t, actually,” David replied, somewhat disjointedly answering the question. “She made this big song and dance about keeping it a secret. Always keeping her cards close to her chest…”

Much like with the previous exchange, David hung his head and fruitlessly attempted to wish his drunken haze away. He was beginning to regret the gusto with which he had started his evening of drinking as he felt a familiar bubbling in his stomach.

Unlike before, however, it was the human who continued where he had left off, having decided to enter into a wholly different conversation. “I’m just happy you two are still together. You might be embarrassing as shit, but at least Twilight didn’t have to deal with a divorce.”

“Your parents divorced?” Night Light asked in return, direct to a fault. David leaned forward in response to this, intent on explaining more while fighting to keep his eyes open.

“Oh yeah- ages ago. Got into debt after one-too-many trips to Disneyland. Lots of fights and then one day they’d had enough of each other. My dad took me to the seaside when they were talking about moving house…and by the time we got back, all my stuff was gone.”

Faced with such candidness, Night Light lacked an immediate response. The sight of his human companion wilting away in the wake of his explanation fully convinced the stallion that this was not a topic worth pursuing for much longer. “I’m sorry to hear it. I know of so many ponies who have suffered a similar fate. It’s no good.”

“Nah, people have had it worse; my parents weren’t big drinkers or smackheads or anything. It just fucks me off that I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to my family home. I used to walk past it on the way back from school…I can look in but never go in anymore…”

Night Light listened to the human speak. He felt the pain being projected, yet he found difficulty with finding common ground between himself and the man opposite. With this in mind, he aimed to round out the conversation with an agreeable closing statement. “…Well, being a parent is never easy. I’m sure that was your parents’ way of coping.”

As this conversation continued, the risk of it turning overly dour increased. This was not helped by David letting out a paltry “They wanted what was best for me…” before beginning to falter. It appeared that a mixture of alcohol and latent emotion had become too much for him to handle.

Despite all this, there was still an exchange to salvage. This was courtesy of Mrs. Velvet, who initiated physical contact with the human once more, this time out of sympathy more than any other motivation. “Aww hun- you know you have a family here with us. Come over anytime; my front door is always open.”

The mare’s touch was soothing to David, who leaned into the contact slightly. It was entirely possible that this was done solely to help him maintain his balance, but the gesture was accepted all the same. “Yeah, that speaks for itself…” he commented, unable to stop himself from laughing as a mind full of double-entendres caught up with him.

Given how Mrs. Velvet had previously acted that evening, it was surprising how long she took to catch onto what the human was alluding to. “Mister, mister, mister! That is rude of you!” the mare cried out in a fake display of anger once she had understood, giving the human a playful slap on the cheek as she did so.

David was initially worried that he had taken things too far, but the laughter that soon erupted from the group proved that his concerns were for nothing. Much to the visual displeasure of the ponies around them, the hearty trio continued with the to-and-fro nature of the exchange until they were inevitably interrupted.

“Sorry to disturb your…riveting conversation, sir,” a male unicorn commented from behind David’s shoulder. “But your little filly- if I dare call her that- is running amok in the castle grounds. I highly suggest that you deal with her before somepony else does.”

Resisting the urge to smack the nameless stallion back to whence he came, David turned to face the intruder. “The fuck? Who took her? Where?!”

In spite of the human’s growing agitation, the nameless stallion merely pointed further into the ballroom, gesturing towards the large crowd of ponies within. “I assure you that this was of her own volition. I saw the little thing frolicking near the champagne; I would recommend keeping her on a leash next time.”

David growled at this. He was certain to have made a move towards the stallion, but his reflexes were so poor that his target was long gone by the time he was ready to do something about it. “Arsehole…” the human muttered while gingerly attempting to stand. “I’d better go and…fuck, that makes my head hurt.”

He leaned on the chair in front of him and cradled his head. Forcing his eyes closed in a bid to keep the pain away, it was obvious that he was in no state to track anyone down. Plus, there was no guarantee that he would be able to handle the situation once he got there.

But this was a burden that he was forced to bear. Mrs. Velvet realised this as well. “Let’s go, dear. Time is wasting!” she announced, her composure showcasing a noticeably higher alcohol tolerance than her companion. The night would likely have gone much smoother if she was the one to have found the little girl.

It took some time- and effort- for David to stumble his way over to Eve’s location. Mrs. Velvet had instructed the group to split up and cover more ground, and it was luck alone that placed the human in prime contention for finding the girl first.

Although, he had heard some commotion in the distance. Naturally, he had headed towards the noise and was eventually able to witness a confrontation. He would have likely intervened sooner, but, if anything, his drunken stupor was worsening as he struggled to focus on the large group of ponies in front of him.

Even in his current state, David was able to find the little girl. She had seemingly met her match: a silver-coated stallion by the name of Globe Trot. He was much larger than the child in every sense, towering over her and loudly giving her an earful on proper manners.

Despite how it may have appeared, it could have been argued that the stallion was not acting out of the ordinary. He may have been forceful in the delivery of his moral, but on a different night, David may well have scooped the girl into his arms, apologised, and then went on his merry way.

Sadly, for obvious reasons, this was not to be the case. “Hey arsehole,” David proclaimed, trying to point to the stallion, but missing the mark with his finger.

Eve’s eyes lit up once she laid them upon her guardian, yet that enthusiasm wavered slightly once she had managed to read his body language. The uneasy balance, the slurred yet angered manner in which he spoke…it reminded her of someone. Still, in her mind, this was better than nothing, so she slowly made her way over towards her carer.

And she notably was not the only one. “You think that you intimidate me when you’re like that? Can you even point me out?” the silver-haired stallion interrogated, verbally pulling David towards him.

“Come over here and tell me that,” David demanded as he staggered forward, having apparently rediscovered some of the force behind his words.

A confrontation at this stage would surely not have benefited David in any way. Unfortunately, both a drunken vigour and a return of life to his fingers gave the human fresh confidence. However, this development was wholly internal, so Globe Trot continued to be unimpressed with the display in front of him.

“You call yourself a ‘parent’, human? Leaving a young filly alone like this while you drink the night away? I can smell it on your breath, even from here.”

The stallion spoke in a well-mannered way. He was somewhat mocking, yet composed and self-assured. The tone of his voice alluded to somepony who was fully in control of the situation, and just made David’s wavering statements appear evermore out-of-sync.

“Just let me take her with me.”

What did not help the situation was Globe Trot’s decision to also advance, leading to the two challengers meeting somewhere in the middle, faces inches away from one another. “And why should I? Why would anypony let her disappear with a drunkard like you? It’s no wonder she behaves the way she does.”

Globe Trot smugly looked up at his challenger, who seemed to be moments away from snapping. The stallion’s hubris was to get the better of him however, as David grabbed the unicorn by the scruff of the neck and glared down at him with contempt.

“Because she’s mine!”

Having run out of patience with Globe Trot, David shrieked in the stallion’s face before forcing him away with an almighty heave. Due to the difference in height between the pair, the stallion was subsequently sent through the air before landing in a heap a short distance away.

Unbeknownst to David, Eve was moments away from reaching him, kept just out of view by Globe Trot’s frame. As such, when the stallion was pushed away, one of his flailing hooves connected firmly with the side of the little girl’s head, knocking her off balance and sending her tumbling at high speed.

It was less the blow to the head that left the little girl in the most pain. The more imminent cause of her suffering would be the way in which she had slid along a mixture of tile and carpet, the friction of which leading to patches of torn skin along the points of impact on her arms and legs.

The resulting screech of pain that emanated from the girl was unsurprising, as was the response to it. David had been more focused on maintaining his own balance during the exchange, and had not seen the reason for Eve’s suffering. Nevertheless, he soon found it- and he had every intention to act on it.

In some ways, it could be argued that the events that followed were justified in some way. Perhaps the stallion was acting far too obtuse; perhaps the stress had become too much; perhaps this could all be blamed on drunken rage- which would never have been a suitable justification.

Perhaps the human was simply looking for an excuse.

Even before Globe Trot could tend to his wounds, he felt David upon him. Several punches to the stallion’s face were enough to draw blood, and a retaliatory strike was more than enough to make the pain mutual. Hooves were harder than hands, it seemed.

As David staggered to his feet, cradling his nose and the fluids that flowed from it, Globe Trot did the same, happy in the assumption that the fight was over. “What did you gain from that? Sating your bloodlust?” he calmly questioned, making an earnest attempt to defuse the situation by taking a few steps back.

But David was not to be dissuaded. He stared down at his hands, already stained red after such a meagre conflict. “You come in here accusing me, commenting on my character…what gives you the right…” he muttered to himself as he fought the urge to breakdown further. “And now you’ve hurt my little girl…”

It is fair to say that the man’s demented antics had drawn quite a crowd. His scuffle somehow did not demand intervention, but he was hardly giving a good first-impression. It looked like he was moments away from disintegrating in the wind.

The most telling sign of his loss of grip on the situation was with Eve herself. If we work with the idea that the girl’s tears marked the beginning of this scuffle, then the silent, blank stare that she now possessed should have signalled to David that perhaps the proceedings had gone ‘too far’. Within all this, he had not even noticed that the little girl had stopped crying.

“That’s enough now; you’ll regret this,” Globe Trot stated to the man. His continued calm demeanour kept him far away from appearing as a third-rate villain, but I suppose that once one has decided that a narrative is true, then there really is no changing it- certainly not in the heat of ‘battle’.

“Please leave her alone…”

For the final nail in this night’s coffin, through teary eyes, David summoned his bow and messily attempted to ready an arrow within it. He did not even look at Globe Trot as he prepared himself, although his tears may have prevented him from recognising the stallion at this point. No excuse of being ‘emotional’ could ever suffice such a loss of control.

I am ashamed of him.

Despite the listlessness of the human’s actions, his decision to arm himself certainly increased the commotion around him. Through all the hushed whispers and declarations of surprise, David could feel his bow be gripped and gently lowered within a familiar, lilac aura.

He immediately recognised the colour, and quickly, a new level of understanding surged through his mind. Bit by bit, a wave of realisation overtook him, and the lost soul soon collapsed to his knees and resigned himself to his fate.

Yet, fate was to be kind to him- or dormant, at least. Eve was the first to reach him, slow to approach yet quick to embrace, and the sorrow was then shared between the pair of them.

Their ragged breathing was clearly audible throughout the ballroom for some time. David could not find the strength to raise his head and glance at the ponies surrounding him, so he instead rose to his feet, Eve still kept within his arms, and stumbled away through the nearest open door, ignoring the distressed calls from that purple alicorn behind him.

Chapter 24: Something Sensible

I’d never felt so ashamed. Once I was out of range of the crowd, I broke off into a sprint, fighting to keep myself and my cargo from falling to the ground. I could barely breathe, and I doubted my ability to run much further, even as the tiled floor was replaced by the soft grass of the castle’s garden.

The grass’ surface did well to cushion my fall once I’d inevitably ran out of steam. Dropping down to all-fours, I lightly pushed Eve away from me before emptying the contents of my stomach onto the area below. It felt like my entire life force had dribbled out through my lips by the time I was done.

As I heaved, I felt Eve gently place her hands onto my back. “It’s okay,” she softly reassured me. “Daddy did this too.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Instead, I just choked as I felt my throat close up. Judging by the spluttering that followed this, I guess I’d decided on crying in the end. I don’t have much else to add; how do things keep getting worse?

Wiping away any bile from around my mouth, I wearily glanced up at the little girl in front of me. Despite the small smile she possessed, her red eyes and redder arms reminded me of my misdeeds. “I’m so sorry,” I managed to force out from the back of my throat.

That seemed to be enough to set Eve off as well. Through a mixture of tears and pained cries, she was back in a familiar place in an instant, allowing herself to be cradled slightly as we sat together. I gripped the little one as hard as I could; letting her leave my touch would be like letting the world fall through my fingers.

But after a short while, I relinquished my grip just enough to present Eve’s face in front of mine. Assessing the damage that the night had done to the girl, I wiped away some of her tears before brushing the hair away from the left side of her head, scanning the scalp underneath it for any damage.

“Well, you don’t seem to have a bump, littlun,” I was thankfully able to conclude. I repeated the process of checking for any damage on the other side, and was delighted to see nothing worth noting there either. “You didn’t hurt your head, did you?”

I repeatedly inspected the little girl’s head for any sign of physical damage, but her extended silence reminded me that much of her pain was emotional. “I’m sorry,” she eventually decided to answer, dropping her head down once my hands moved away from it. “I did something wrong again.”

In an effort to prevent any more tears, I raised the little one’s head and kept my hands on each of her cheeks this time. “No, you didn’t, sweetheart,” I commented in an attempt to hearten her, but I stopped halfway through. “Well, you kinda did…”

Something between a laugh and cough left my mouth as Eve’s feeble smile strengthened. “Yeah, you shouldn’t have left your room, but I did…so much more wrong,” I continued, fighting against my innate desire to break eye contact. “I’m really, really, really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Eve repeated to me before closing her eyes and slumping to the side. From there, she just rested on my arm. Anybody could see that she was in dire need of her bed; I’d never seen her be knocked out like that.

I felt safe in this moment of reassurance, however one-sided it may’ve been, but I was worried about Eve’s earlier comments. I’d never heard of her father- much less seen him- which likely hinted at the type of man he was. Was I just making her repeat the same experiences?

It was only when the night was quiet that I pushed myself up off the ground. I found difficulty doing this, but my head was noticeably clearer now that my most immediate concern was sound asleep. With Eve’s soft snoring in my ears, I scanned the area around me to search for the nearest exit, yet I was to be denied this opportunity of escape.

Everywhere around me suddenly looked the same. The entire area was just a flat, grassy plain that stretched out from all angles until it brushed against the night sky above in the far-distance. It was all monotonous, clearly an unnatural formation, and I was smack-dab in the middle of it.

Well, I jest- it wasn’t entirely featureless. There was a lovely little tree not too far from where I stood. Given everything else that’d happened in my life so far, I knew that I was bound to walk up to it and start rubbing my hands on it until it revealed the ‘human prophecy’ or whatever, so I headed out to fulfil my destiny.

It was evidently larger than it’d looked from afar. It was slightly greyed-out as well, like it had that ‘late 2000s piss filter’ gracefully draped over it. In this world of colour and prancing rainbows, it certainly looked out of place. It made me question where it had come from, and the…fuckass mental thing that stepped out from behind it wasn’t helping.

I really don’t know what to say at this point. The thing looked like a syntax error. It stood upright despite having no appendages that should’ve allowed it to do that, nor possessing anything to support it. There was nothing that I could associate the thing with, and the only way I could tell that it was anything more than a statue was the way it grinned at me. Bear-bat-goat-snake-looking ass.

“Don’t tell me,” I started as the creature approached me. “You’re some crazy bastard who’s going to reduce the foundations of this little world to dust?”

Now, I wasn’t entirely sure if this creature could even speak- but given how the rest of this world seemed to work…yeah. Sure enough, the creature showcased its vocal talents. “And you are the little troublemaker who has been working up a frenzy since the day you arrived.”

Wow, what a riot. I could tell that this guy had a way with words, given the ease at which he spoke, and the charisma that was dripping from every syllable. I was kind of falling for him, not gonna lie. Still, just because he was a verbal maestro, that didn’t mean that I was, so I did my best to look unimpressed.

“Really?! No response?! Do you have any idea how hard it is to round up a runaway human without causing a scene? Oh, the backbreaking labour…” the creature continued before very painfully folding himself in half several times until he appeared to be two-dimensional, after which he vanished into thin air.

I wasn’t too sure what to do once he’d disappeared, but I soon heard his voice emanate from my shirt’s breast-pocket. Sure enough, that was where he’d reappeared, thankfully shrunken down a smidge. “I even had this meadow tailormade for somepony like you- just like this lovely suit,” the creature commented, pulling himself out of my pocket and hanging off the side of it. “Rarity’s work, I presume? Don’t answer me: of course it is.”

With this, he dropped himself out of my pocket and hurtled to the floor. Thankfully, he grew back to his original size just before he reached the ground, allowing him to reassert his dominance over me. “Any comments? You’re a quiet one after a few drinks,” he noted, glaring down at me with a clear degree of impatience.

I could understand his frustration. This guy seemed to do everything with an exaggerated flair, so I felt almost guilty about being numb to the whole thing. His introduction wasn’t too dissimilar to Celestia’s in a way, given how I’d come to terms with my own mortality more times than I can count by now.

“Honestly, mate: I’ve had so many breakdowns in the past few weeks that this feels comparatively mediocre. If you plan to kill me, then do it now- although, I’m sure that everyone in Equestria likes playing with their food.”

Yeah, that probably wasn’t the correct answer, as the creature’s look of admonishment persisted for a great while longer. “You’re a year-or-so too late for that, human. I’m a changed draconequus now. During the time I was gone, I turned over a new leaf,” he explained.

Despite the creature’s purported change in moral alignment, I had no interest in hearing him out. “I have an annoying tendency to find myself at the feet of some of the most powerful beings in this world,” I softly lamented, finding issues with gripping the child still wrapped around my torso.

“More powerful than you can imagine- unless you want me to check your head next,” the draconequus continued. “In fact, let’s free up some space…”

Clicking his ‘fingers’, the creature grinned eagerly as he magically lifted Eve out of my arms and into the air above me. I’m sure I let out a wail of grief as the little girl was taken from me, and I could only watch as she floated just out of reach, cradled within a bubble of magic. I observed the girl as she shifted around and lightly kicked at the space that held her in, thankfully still asleep.

“Look at her up there- so unaware of the predicament you’ve forced her into,” the creature commented, twirling his taloned hand around while he spoke. “Tell me: what would be more merciful- keeping her here with you or sending her back alone?”

It was clear that the draconequus wished to be enlightened- but I wasn’t giving him an inch. “Give her back,” I warned him, drawing my bow for the second time that night. I was fully aware of the inevitable futility of such an action this time, but I still had an obligation to play the cards I held. “After what’s happened tonight, I won’t-”

“-Yes, yes; alright,” the creature thankfully relented with a huff. Another click followed, and the bubble around Eve burst. Rather than have her hurtle to the ground, I was grateful for the mercy shown as the little girl was gently returned to me.

I was so pleased with the turn of events that I barely registered my ‘friend’ as he began to mock me again. “We’ve surely had enough of that now, haven’t we? Of course, when involved in a bar fight, why not try out the old bow-and-arrow? It’s always worth a shot.”

“I’m not proud of it,” I simply replied while gently bouncing on the spot…for whatever reason. “But you surely didn’t bring me all the way out here just to insult me?”

“Just watch where you aim the thing next time. One wrong move and it’s over for somepony like you. Is it somepony or someone- which would you like?”

He momentarily vanished once more before reappearing in a butler’s suit. Bowing, he presented two dishes to me. There was one on the left and one on the right, displaying the words ‘somepony’ and ‘someone’ respectively, bringing a more literal interpretation to the situation. I mindlessly swiped at one of the dishes with my free arm. “Can I sit down? You make my head hurt.”

I didn’t wait for any response or permission. Given how amicably this conversation had been going, I felt as if I would’ve been given the space to act in a way that suited my own interests. “Do what you like. You’ve spent lots of energy on your night of ‘fun’,” the creature confirmed to me with a continued joy behind his words.

For once, though, I was able to share his enthusiasm; the grass was fantastic to sit on. It was much softer than the cheap crap up at Canterlot, and it allowed me to brood with my knees up to my chest like an insolent teenager, albeit with some fiddling for Eve’s sake. “I’m not even going to ask for your name because you won’t give it to me, so-”

“-You never get if you never ask, human.”

In the midst of my sulking, the draconequus had slithered next to me. So much so, that the sudden emergence of his voice from such a short distance caused me to jump in surprise. My jerky movements ignited fresh concerns as to Eve’s continued slumber through all this, but she was still kicking away quite nicely. “Then, what’s your name?” I asked him.

Faced with such a simple question, the creature scratched at his face as it stayed just inches from mine. “Too late!” he gleefully concluded before teleporting away from me once more. “Look at that: your pessimism caused you to miss the last train out of town. And those tickets are so hard to come by.”

To emphasise his point, he created a train ticket out of thin air. I watched as the flap of paper floated down to me, and I grabbed at it and read its contents in a bid to gain some extra information. “Oh: ‘The Discord express’…Discord?”

If the ensuing, brightly-coloured celebrations were anything to go by, I’d likely stumbled upon the correct answer. “Ring-a-ding-ding! Congratulations! Your reading has come such a long way!” Discord informed me, although it was difficult to hear him over the confetti cannons.

Once all the noise had died down, and I’d wiped any remaining confetti out of Eve’s hair, I shifted my focus back to the make-believe ticket. “So, ‘Discord’? Synonym for ‘lack of cohesion’? ‘Causing trouble’?”

Discord grinned wildly at this. “Are you trying to make sense of my name? Or are you just trying to get on my good side?”

This guy really was in control here. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that I was in his garden right now. It was certainly far away from Canterlot. “What are you doing here?” I dully enquired, shaking my head despondently.

“Is it not obvious? I’m here to help you.”

“And what’s the point of doing that?”

“For you- it depends if you want to survive. A binary choice; don’t make me pull out the dinner plates again. For me…well, there’s no better entertainment than to watch you run amok and cause chaos- and now I get a front-row seat!”

Once again proving himself as someone who loves a demonstration, Discord conjured up a small deck chair to sit on. He quickly found a place within it, all dressed up in a fancy dressing gown and lobbing popcorn into his mouth.

“Did you really create a separate dimensional plain just to do dad jokes?” I asked him, having finally stood up to face the draconequus…which is a word that never gets any easier to write.

Slightly impatient, I walked straight past the trickster; I was more interested in the tree in the background. There obviously must’ve been a reason for it to be here, so I thought it’d be best to get a bit closer to the big bastard and give it a closer inspection.

For a tree of such a large size, it was hardly imposing. While it bore lush leaves of varying sizes and textures up above, the bark and branches that connected the green clusters were much more decrepit, showing clear signs of age and other damage that went beyond the standard wear-and-tear.

There were no markings or carvings in the blackened bark, which was rough to the touch and left small particles on my hands that felt like ash. I persisted with dragging my fingers along the tree’s surface as I internally questioned the reasons for its presence.

“Aren’t you tired of asking questions you already know the answer to?” Discord suddenly asked me, having once again closed the distance between us without my knowledge.

I instinctively attempted to swat his smug face away, thankfully missing, before turning around to face him. “Care to explain, then?” I questioned him, leaning on the tree behind me in order to keep my balance.

“I don’t do deals where I’m on the losing end, you see; I never bet on the losing horse,” Discord elaborated. He came to join me next to the tree, placing one of his ‘hands’ upon its surface. “Hence why we’re next to this tree.”

“So, what? You’re a trickster, a shady dealer, or are you just a madman like Celestia-”

“-Really?! The princess says that I’m mad? It’s not me- it’s the world that’s mad!” Discord vehemently protested, whirling around on the spot in a catatonic gesture towards the area around him. “Look around you: this whole world makes no sense.”

I couldn’t really speak on the world’s behalf, but the draconequus certainly wasn’t making any sense to me. “This is the world that you’ve created,” I reminded him, doing my own, slightly more lethargic gesture to the empty space.

Discord was broken free from his unnecessary spinning by my comment. Once he’d finally stopped moving, he glared down at me as if I was the least cooperative person he’d ever met. Or more likely the dimmest. “Equestria was here long before I was, human. Even this tree holds secrets that I could never possibly understand.”

Perhaps showcasing a hint of pride, Discord made a display of patting the tree like you’d do to an old friend. I didn’t know why he was so enamoured with it, but I’m sure that his mind works in mysterious ways.

Something more concrete was how effective his stare was. His pupils were narrow yet oh-so expressive, deviously working in tandem with the way he spoke to create what must be the definition of ‘persuasion’. The urge to blindly follow him was so strong that I’d forgotten what I was planning on saying.

I must’ve been slack-jawed or something, as Discord’s smile grew before he thankfully closed his eyes, giving me time to look away from them. “This is the Onus Tree: passed down through generations. It’s known for its ability to draw fortunes,” he explained of his own volition; I wouldn’t be surprised if he could also read minds. “Do bear in mind, human: they’re for your eyes only.”

The draconequus’ continued patting on the Onus Tree was hypnotising in a way; I swear that I could feel the vibrations that each gentle hit unleashed. However, this action actually had a purpose this time, as a small box soon protruded from the tree’s trunk.

If there were fortunes to be drawn, this looked like the place to do it. The box itself was small in size, obviously wooden, and with small engravings on its front that resembled small pillars. Such small details were not replicated on the box’s lid, which only displayed a hole for my hand to be placed into, noticeably worn down from possible repeated use. Perhaps I wasn’t the first soul to have ended up here.

The box wouldn’t have looked out-of-place if it was part of a school fair for a raffle. “Stick your hand in and hope you get a good prize?” I wearily asked Discord, who continued to watch me expectantly, smile never wavering.

It was highly likely that a smile was his answer to my question, yet I had some reservations about following through with his wordless instruction. “What are you hoping to get from this?” I asked him while lightly placing Eve onto the ground in order to free up both of my hands.

“I’m not looking for anything,” he simply replied.

“Then what do you hope for me to get from this?”

“Different question; same answer.”

There was no point arguing with him; it was like pissing in the wind. I nervously thrust my hand into the box and silently began to rummage. Happily, there didn’t seem to be any form of booby-trap held within, so I was free to shimmy and shake the box’s contents for as long as I desired.

Sadly, I was to be disappointed: unless my senses were deceiving me, there was only one scrap of paper lollygagging around at the bottom. “I can only feel one,” I mentioned to Discord, who didn’t even hint at the idea of a reply. “Kinda takes the fun out of it, doesn’t it?”

Once again, I was met with silence- at least until I’d removed my hand from the box, scrap of paper in-hand. “They’ll throw open the castle gates for you,” Discord eventually commented; there was a permanent enjoyment in his voice. “Soon enough, the kingdom itself will wait for you with bated breath.”

Although he was clearly enjoying the narrative he was creating, I just couldn’t understand his reasons for doing so. “Even if that’s not what I want?” I questioned him, once again lacking the ability to stay on his wavelength. This feeling was increased tenfold once his answer was uttered.

“You misunderstand me- they will do it because it’s not what you want.”

It was entirely possible that the draconequus was simply living a fantasy at my expense- making a storm in a teacup. He seemed like the type. Nevertheless, I had nothing to work off of when forming such a conclusion, so I pushed that possible omen to the back of my mind.

“We’ve stalled for long enough; time to reveal your prize!”

I was bracing for a barrage of confetti that never came, clutching at the piece of paper in my hand with every ounce of strength I had. Deciding to turn away from Discord and instead have Eve serve as the backdrop while I drew my ‘fortune’, I clumsily unfolded the scrap of paper in my hands until I could see what it displayed.

“Another. ‘Another’ what?”

To my disappointment, my ‘fortune’ displayed only one word- and one word that barely gave me insight into anything. “Do you mean ‘draw another’ or is this some kind of-” I questioned Discord, only to find an empty space once I’d turned my attention back to where the draconequus once stood.

The tree was still stood in front of me; sadly, a quick scan of it offered no insight into the whereabouts of that damned trickster. Frustrated, I crumpled the piece of paper and chucked it in a random direction, deeming it worthless. Annoyingly though, it seemed to have a mind of its own as it fluttered in a make-believe wind before landing in a small, white bag a short distance away from me, which Discord was happy to describe.

“Apologies: I’m not…altogether these days, I’m afraid. I’ve left you a little something to remember me by. Take the bag with you, my friend; it’ll come in handy.”

He was only here in spirit, unfortunately. In fact, taking my eyes off the all-important tree had caused it to disappear in tandem, leaving just Eve and I in this grassy void. Granted, now that the tree had taken its leave, the little girl had nothing left to lean on in her sleep, so she was back with me in an instant.

Truth be told, I didn’t want to take the bag with me, but the void’s continued existence suggested that I wasn’t leaving without it. The events of this entire night- and possibly my existence in this world to begin with- all seemed out of my control, so why not take the surprise gift from the disfigured man talking gibberish next to the bushes?

Inside the lovely bag, made from what felt like the finest cotton, was my wonderful fortune, as well as a couple of other noteworthy objects. Inexplicably, the bag contained a pair of teddy bears, withered and damaged from overuse in a similar vein to the old tree. It was clear whose gifts those were.

More interesting for me was the other item kept within. Right at the bottom of the bag was what appeared to be a spell book, if my earlier experiences were anything to go by. I inquisitively picked it up to scan it further, and I let out a loud laugh once I’d made sense of the front cover.

“Another.”

Indeed, scrawled on the front cover was the word-of-the-day. Besides that, there wasn’t anything else to describe apart from the black background that the writing sat atop of. I wiped my finger along it and found nothing strange about it. Well, comparatively…

“Do stop by again sometime. I know better than anypony that it takes time to build trust. I’ll be waiting when the time comes.”

And with Discord’s farewell message somewhere in my subconscious, I looked up from the book to see that I was back within the castle grounds. Given the nonsense that’d just happened, I was glad to be back; the evening’s previous events from within the ballroom felt like a distant memory, even if such a short time had separated that event and this one.

That was if time had even moved at all. The Gala seemed to still be ongoing by the looks of things, but I certainly wasn’t going to join in with the fun. As far as I was concerned, I’d fulfilled my end of Celestia’s bargain, so I set off (both child and bag in-hand) and headed back to bed.

Chapter 25: The Grown-Ups are Talking

Thankfully, the journey back to the bedroom was without incident. Sure, there were bright lights and the sounds of holier-than-thou ponies enjoying the festivities, but there were ways of getting around without causing a scene. God knows, I needed to stay away.

Difficulties arose once I’d stepped through the doorway. The room was draped in darkness and dead-quiet, although I could thankfully hear the faintest sound of snoring from one of the beds. Eva seemed to be just where I’d left her.

No, that wasn’t the problem; sat in the corner, comforted by a dwindling candlelight, was Twilight Sparkle. I initially didn’t acknowledge her out of shame, but I could feel her eyes following me as I silently placed Eve under the covers. Discord’s magic must’ve done a number on the little girl.

“I wanted to wait with her until you got back,” Twilight explained from behind me. I heard her stand up, and the familiar sound of approaching hooves indicated that she was closing the distance between us. The mare’s movements suggested that she had topics to discuss.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I calmly replied in attempt at shutting the conversation down before it started. Everything from the drinking to the fight to Discord…I wanted to put all this behind me.

In Twilight’s mind, though, this was something that couldn’t wait. “But we need to,” she softly clarified, no anger or irritation in her voice despite its urgency.

I still had my doubts, but the…almost betrayed look on the mare’s face told me otherwise. Therefore, with a sigh, I wordlessly went over to my room’s balcony and opened the door to it, gesturing for Twilight to follow me through.

A blast of cooler air greeted me as I thrust the door open. The landscape behind it was largely quaint and understated, enveloped in darkness. Only the scenery directly below me contrasted with the silence, as the Gala looked to be reaching its own miniature conclusion.

“Close the door behind you,” I quietly informed Twilight while taking in the view. Once I’d heard her do what I’d asked, I turned to face her, noting the pain that she continued to portray. If anything, the feeling seemed even more intense than before. “So, what’s up?”

Twilight shut the door behind her while still keeping her eyes on me. Once the sound of its closing reached her ears, she began to talk. “How can you be so calm after tonight?” she shakily asked me, managing to sound both crestfallen and moments away from exploding with anger. “You tried to kill somepony.”

If the following body language was any indication, she was far more sorrowful than seething. I suppose it was the shock of the whole thing; I can’t imagine she’s witnessed many standoffs, so this may well have been the perfect time for her to shamefully hang her head on my behalf.

And it wasn’t as if I was at all pleased with how the night had turned out. I didn’t really have the words nor the arrogance to even try to justify it. I wanted to tell her that she was overreacting- that the whole display was an intimidation tactic or something- but I just couldn’t find the will to say it. I knew that I was wrong.

So, in this pivotal moment, I just stood there. My blank stare must’ve gotten to Twilight at some point, as she carried on from where she’d left off, the shaking in her voice now doubled. “You told me that we were going to make things better together...”

Given how the mare’s voice trailed off towards the end of her sentence, it sounded like Twilight wanted to say more than she actually did. I know that I also wanted to say things- but with all the people I’d met, the damage I’d caused…and that fucking trickster’s words still fresh in my mind, I lacked the strength.

“I don’t know. I’ve used all my energy today.”

I ended that statement with an attempt at turning away from Twilight and returning my gaze to the landscape behind me. However, I only made it halfway, as my arm was hastily grabbed by the mare’s forehooves, and I was quickly spun back around to face her. “No- I’m not letting you close off again because this is what happens when you keep things to yourself.”

She was sporting a slight glare, but anybody could tell that it was for show. Her hooves shifted from my arm onto my stomach, where they stayed due to neither of us making an attempt to adjust. “You did it for me, so I’m doing it for you,” the mare softly reassured me, her words still melancholy yet spoken by somepony who had clearly made up their mind. In every aspect, there was no getting away from it this time.

“Tell me what you want to know,” I requested of the mare, hoping that she’d take the lead again. Due to the dejected way that she’d begun this conversation, I was hoping that handing her the reigns would be enough to rekindle her enthusiasm. If anything, though, this just upset her further.

“I don’t want to know anything. Just talk to me, please! Tell me something!”

Those big eyes of hers were somehow even more expressive than her voice was. The way that they pleaded with me to speak alongside the tears that they were ready to produce provided a solitary request that I would always have struggled to turn down. I guess if she wanted a pity-party, she was going to get one.

“Every now-and-then, I dream about my old life,” I solemnly began. “I have a laugh with my mates, or I get to see my mum again. I run a million miles in my mind, but when I wake up, I’m still here. The world is cruel sometimes.”

I’d decided to just let my mind go off in a random direction and pick up the pieces as it went. Given that Twilight was like this, I needed something new- something that I hadn’t told anyone before. As expected, the mare stayed quiet and engaged, so I continued going down this way of thinking.

“It’s funny because back when I was in my early teens- back when I still lived with my mum- I used to sit under the stars a lot. I’d wait for a starry night, get dressed, pack my bag and sit on my garden wall and ask for the night sky to take me away- far away from that place. Since then, I’ve come to learn that there are worse places to be than a low-income housing estate with an apathetic parent. Perspective does wonders for the mind and its appreciation of the world. ‘Ivory towers’ and all that.”

With some regret, I pushed Twilight away from me so that I could slump to the floor. Leaning my back on the balcony behind me, I glanced up at my companion as she briefly looked unsure of an action to commit to.

“Is this the type of place that you wanted to be taken away to?” she eventually asked me, having decided to stand her ground and look down upon me.

“Maybe all the way back then. But that’s the thing: it’s different now. I didn’t get whisked away- I stayed and worked my arse off. I put everything I had into just getting through my teenage years with some modicum of self-respect and hope for the future. I’d found my purpose, and I was prepared to commit the next forty years towards helping those who need guidance the most: children.”

I was brought out of my story by the feeling of Twilight taking up the space beside me. A quick glance told me that she was clearly still listening along, and she also was yet to offer a follow-up question or comment, so I carried on from where I’d left off.

“In an ideal world, you’re supposed to be rewarded for perseverance like that- or you should at least be able to see the fruits of your labour. I wanted that job, Twilight. It would’ve been the culmination of everything that I’d worked for. And now it’s gone; I already know I can’t go back.”

I was stalling, but I found some discomfort in giving away so much information at once, particularly of this nature. Any glimpses at Twilight didn’t help, as she didn’t offer me anything exceptional. If she wasn’t currently lying on me, I would’ve just packed everything up and left.

“Few people may’ve given a shit about those two girls before all this happened- but a single, adult male disappearing from the face of the Earth for God-knows how long with a pair of four-year-old girls? I’ll never see peace again.”

In spite of everything, I laughed to myself. It was easy to imagine the type of reception that I’d receive- if I was conscious for it. The absurdity of this whole situation was still making its way into my skull, so little moments like this highlighted the absurdism and reinforced how fucked I really was. “I can never go back now, sweetheart. I’ve lost my purpose.”

I was feeling emotional as I weakly clutched at Twilight beside me. My actions garnered a hum of surprise from the mare, who subsequently returned the gesture. She stayed upright during this, and she ever-so slightly pushed away from me before giving her own input.

“I’ll never know what it’s like to taken into a different world- but you still have your purpose. You wanted to devote yourself to those who need it the most, right? Well, there’s two ponies who need you more than anything right now.”

I held back a sigh as the conversation looked likely to head in a familiar direction. “I know what you’re gonna say.”

Sadly for me, Twilight was hellbent on saying it anyway. “Then you already know it too. You may feel like you’ve lost your purpose, but your goal is still the same. It’s just that your success criteria has changed. If you can’t be their guardian, then be their guardian angel- keep them safe and they’ll keep you safe.”

My sighs increased in frequency. “You’re such an idealist,” I chuckled to Twilight. I patted my hand along her side with the intention of letting the night pass me by. “I know this doesn’t do anything to take away what happened this evening. I’m sorry.”

Once again, I’d set myself up to offer a rebuttal only to fall short at the pivotal moment. Twilight seemed to be content with just hearing me out, but that kind of made me feel worse; I wanted her to chew me to pieces over it. I don’t know- sometimes it’s easier to be told when you’re a bad person.

So, there wasn’t too much to say; if there was, I wasn’t the one to say it. Instead of engaging in rapturous debate, I was static and slumped over on what was essentially a glorified hotel balcony. The life in the landscape below me had slowed to a crawl, matching the listless atmosphere of the space around Twilight and I.

“Sometimes I wonder who’s taking care of who…” I heard Twilight mumble next to me, seemingly absentmindedly. I didn’t want to question what she meant by it.

“You want to go?” I softly asked the mare, only to receive no response. It was as if she hadn’t heard me. I’d briefly considered repeating the question, yet I imagined that this would also be entertained in the same way.

The moon was noticeably lower in the night sky by the time I stood up. How long the pair of us had realistically been there for was anyone’s guess, but the movements that we subsequently made brought discussions that hinted at light agitation. Twilight was the first to blink, asking me, “What are you going to do after this?”

I painfully stretched out my lower back while I answered. “In terms of tonight, I’m going to bed, and in terms of this whole episode…I haven’t really thought that far ahead.”

“You’re just taking every day as it comes?”

“There isn’t a better option, I don’t think. I mean, if it’s this shit now, then imagine what’ll happen when things get harder. Unless things change, soon I’ll be…”

I cut my rambling short once my mind had caught up with my mouth and informed me of the dour direction that I’d immediately veered off into. A quick check on Twilight’s condition suggested that she was also grateful for this mercy. “Still, there’s not much point losing sleep over it. You don’t get out of a hole by complaining about how high the walls are.”

With this explanation, Twilight evidently pondered for a moment. It was clear that she wanted to help, but these sorts of topics may’ve been outside of her repertoire. “Why don’t you ask the princesses for help?” she asked me, although I’m sure that she didn’t like my answer.

“Because they won’t give it to me.”

“Why not?” Twilight asked me with far more urgency than before. Unfortunately for her, I didn’t verbally answer, instead giving her a look that highlighted my growing scepticism. “You don’t trust them…”

“It’s not that,” I explained in an attempt to soothe her. “They’ve just sort of…dropped me into this situation without much of a direction. I’m out here as some part of a larger puzzle- to play the hero in this grand narrative, but to what end? Like, the other day, I was killing birds while in a muck-covered swamp. It’s hardly righteous.”

Twilight took some time to respond to this. Despite the conversation being fairly agreeable on my end, she stepped away from me with a troubled look on her face. Whatever she was feeling, she looked as if she was struggling to think of a reply, so I gave her some time to mull it over.

“But you were sent there for a reason,” she told me. “It might not be what you want right now, but the Princess’ orders keep us safe. They’re for the betterment of everypony; you were right to follow them…even if I don’t agree with them.”

It was funny: Twilight spoke with such gusto when discussing the princess, but she struggled to get the final few words out of her mouth. I could imagine that our night in the Everfree was painful for her to recall as well.

Still, I needed clarification. “According to whom?” I questioned the mare, who looked at me as if I was speaking another language. “Every order has someone who breaks it, Twilight. For lack of a better phrase, it’s what makes us human.”

Again with the hesitancy; faced with such a simple idea, the mare froze up. I really didn’t need this. “Why such intense pondering? It’s like you’ve never seen someone break the rules,” I prompted.

My attempt at coaxing the mare out of her reverie seemed to have been a wasted effort; Twilight wasn’t budging until she’d made up her mind. “What kind of world did the princess save you from?” she finally inquired after a great deal of waiting. The tone of it suggested that I wasn’t even meant to give an answer- so, of course I did so in the most disappointing way possible.

“One that I wouldn’t mind getting back to,” I replied absentmindedly. Such a comment all-but required me to turn back around and gaze wistfully at the landscape in front of me, but an extended period of silence informed me that I’d said the wrong thing. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then, how did you mean it?” I heard from behind me. A glance backwards revealed Twilight in an increased level of intrigue, not quite upset, yet still sporting a moderate level of concern.

It felt as if I’d started something that I couldn’t just shake off with ease. I’d initially hoped that a foreboding, “Oh, don’t make me talk about this,” would’ve been enough to stem the tide, but Twilight soon came forth with fresh concern.

“I want to know.”

Still looking over the balcony, I lowered my head in frustration. “Twilight-”

“No!”

I was brought out of my jaded slump by the mare’s defiance. This time, I fully turned myself around, slightly weary of what I’d see once I’d completed the half-rotation. Thankfully, Twilight was near-enough in the same state I’d previously left her in, albeit with a larger frown. “This ‘doing it all alone’ attitude isn’t going to work anymore. If there’s something that upsets you, I want to hear about it.”

“Twilight, we just talked about it,” I stated to try and brush this conversation off before it got out of hand. “Look, I’ve just got a lot to think about. I lashed out earlier- but it’s fine.”

In case it wasn’t obvious, I had zero interest in opening up this can of worms in my current state. I was still a little woozy from the whole ordeal, and I knew that I’d end up saying the wrong thing if the palpable tension was to increase.

But Twilight had other ideas. She took a singular step in my direction, yet she managed to appear even smaller the closer she got to me. “Please don’t shut me out again.”

I knew what she wanted to do- I really did. I just…everything that’d happened tonight had left me longing for some time alone to rest. I answered with this desire in mind. “Twilight, it was one of those days.”

Again, however, this did not go down favourably with my companion. “After what you did tonight, you’re happy to stand there and tell me that attempted murder is just ‘one of those days’ for you?” she accused me, in a clear, emotional rebuttal of my own feelings.

There were so many things that I wanted to say to that, yet I decided to say none of it because that felt like the most sensible way to de-escalate the situation. “You know it wasn’t like that.”

“I can’t believe you’re trying to justify it…”

There was such a level of betrayal in Twilight’s voice that I really couldn’t find the reasoning behind. In truth, it irritated me; now wasn’t the time for theatrics. “I just want to go to bed, Twilight,” I informed the mare, my voice perhaps sounding slightly too lifeless for its own good.

“Please just apologise,” Twilight continued to assert with that bizarre reasoning of hers- slightly bitterly as well. “If you don’t want to talk to me, then please talk to Princess Celestia.”

The more she spoke, the more her reasoning seemed to ebb away to reveal half-considered pleas that were motivated mainly be emotion. I suppose I was the same, in a way. I really shouldn’t have spoken to her like I did, even after everything that’d happened. It wasn’t her fault.

“And what’s she gonna do about it? Why’s the princess the solution to every problem?!”

In one question, asked in frustration, Twilight’s expression shifted from beseeching to something much more exasperated. “Because she’s right, David!” she boldly answered, backing away from me and throwing her forehooves in front of her as part of her display of anger.

This new surge of negative emotion was surprising at the time. Simultaneously though, I’d shut down; I was just rattling off clueless insults that I’d roughly grabbed at in the red haze around the two of us. “Just because the sun shines out of her arse, it doesn’t mean that she’s got any more of a clue about this!”

Once more, Twilight took a step away from me. She was almost back inside the bedroom at this point. Her expression reflected a similar level of passivity, as if she couldn’t believe what I was saying. Granted, her head also continued to drop to the floor, again suggesting that the mare’s outrage was short-lived. “She saved you from that place and-”

“-I didn’t ask to be saved!”

The distance between the pair of us was shortened as I cried out with indignation. Getting caught in the moment, I flailed my arms around much like Twilight had while I took a few steps forward. My world had hardly been mentioned throughout this whole thing, but the implications of such comments had momentarily caused my mind to lose its function.

I waited for Twilight to give a retort or furious remark, yet she offered nothing of the sort. In a heartbreaking twist of fate, she mournfully lowered herself onto her haunches and looked up at me with teary eyes. Her ears lay flat against her head; it was clear that they had heard enough.

Such a pathetic sight helped to force some sense into my head. I didn’t know whether to cradle the mare or leap from the balcony, although neither seemed to be a more fruitful solution than the other. And as Twilight sniffled in my eyeline, I knew that too much had been said, yet I just kept on mindlessly talking.

“And I didn’t see Princess ‘do-no-wrong’ Celestia jumping out from behind the curtains and putting a stop to everything. It was just you! You were the only…fucking one.”

With this, I also fell to floor, completely spent and with nothing else to offer. I didn’t dare raise my head to view Twilight on an equal level, and the silence that descended upon us was impossible for me to fight against, but I kept trying…

“You don’t want to be here with somebody like me.”

I could only hope for a reaction to such a comment. I needed something from her. Fortunately, I did receive a reply of sorts- though not the one I wanted. “But I do. I wanted to help you,” I heard Twilight tearfully inform me as she stood up. “You’re not the only one here with a conscience; come and find me when you’ve found yours.”

From what I could hear, Twilight’s exit followed. Given the amount of time it took her to leave, I imagined a certain degree of hesitation from her, but my curiosity still didn’t outweigh my shame. The sounds of hoofbeats grew quieter and quieter, and soon the door in front of me was gently closed, cutting me off from the activity behind it.

It was only when I was certain that the mare had left that I took my gaze away from the floor. As I had both expected and feared, Twilight was no longer present, leaving an empty space that took me a few attempts to fully visualise.

I’m not sure how long I sat there for. It was long enough. After what had transpired, my energy was no more, yet no amount of sitting around was going to fix that. I knew what I needed- who I needed- and I’d just pushed her to one side, just like she’d feared I would.

Can I still blame it on the alcohol?

Chapter 27: Obtuse

“Oh, and it’s the terrible two- up to no good once again!”

“Maybe we can cut Eva a little bit of slack.”

“Watch her, Mr. Bayard. She causes just as much trouble as her sister.”

“Only when they’re together, though, surely…”

Ok. Breathe.

Uh, things are good. Or they were. I’ll take us forward a little bit because the morning wasn’t anything too spectacular. We’d made it onto the train, delightfully bare as it was, and we were on our little journey towards our little seaside town. I mean, we weren’t in the UK anymore, so…what was I supposed to expect?

I was always thankful that every single train that I stumbled upon had about as many people in it as Chernobyl. It gave me time to gather both myself and the multitudes of clothing, food, and whatever else I could squeeze into a small bundle of bags in anticipation of a vacation that would never be destined to go completely smoothly.

But I was happy. Mildly anxious- but happy. It was just me and the little ones. I could feel the sun occasionally glide along my skin whenever the window to my side permitted it while I watched the girls do anything they could to stave off their inevitable boredom- well, girl. The only awake girl, no less.

Their little teddy bears had worked wonders in keeping them occupied for most of the journey. For whatever reason, the pair were enamoured with them. I’d given the little bundles of fluff a clean (or as good a clean as I could give them) but I knew that they’d return to normal soon enough. You just can’t bet against a young child’s desire to stick something familiar in their mouth.

“I’m bored,” Eve finally informed me after a relentless search of the train carriage, within which she had found four buttons and a couple of bits. Her arrival in this state was always going to happen, so I picked the girl up and held her in my lap, hoping that she would find some sort of enjoyment from the change in elevation.

“I knew you would be,” I informed her straight back, swaying side-to-side to keep her body moving. While she accepted the gesture, I made an effort to point to her sister’s sleeping form. “Why don’t you be like Eva for today?”

“Because I don’t want a sleep!”

It appeared that I’d kicked the hornet’s nest with that question. Instantly, I felt Eve push away from me and back onto her the feet, but she evidently hadn’t thought about what she was to do when she got there. Instead, she climbed back onto my seat and stood on the higher ground, looking down upon me with awe and wonder.

“I want to be here when you see it. Like, see it; I want to see it. The-the big, blue ocean,” she continued, throwing her arms open wide as if she was planning on parting the sea itself. “Like, it’s big, and I want to go in it with the sand, and didn’t you tell me once that you could smell when the sea is close? I think you did.”

I nodded along to her little monologue, chuckling to myself throughout it. “I’m flattered that you remembered,” I stated in response to the girl’s final comment before gesturing for the little one to come down- which she didn’t. “But there’s more to it than that. And we need to get ready first, too.”

“Why?”

From where Eve stood, she was able to ask this question with some authority, as useless as that was. To emphasise her futility, I lightly ran my fingers over the girl’s hand as it glistened in the sunlight. “Well, we’ve done your suncream- and you know why we do your suncream…?”

“To protect us from the sun!” the hand’s owner answered in an instant, never losing her gusto.

“Exactly,” I confirmed to her, using my leverage on her hand to keep her looking in my direction. It didn’t help. “Well, it’s stuff like that. There’s gonna be water, so-”

“-I love the water!”

Again, the little girl proved to be impossible to fully bottle up. Then again, her excitement was hardly negative, so maybe there was no point being so tight-arsed. “So, we need to bring clothes and all the lovely stuff that the princesses have leant us, as well as dropping off all our bags like we do at school.”

Invoking past memories was risky, but it helped Eve to remember where she was. “Okay,” she happily concluded, seemingly satisfied, sitting back down in my lap, this time choosing to face me.

“You never feel the need to ask, do you?” I wistfully enquired in the wake of the girl’s movements. Eve gave no response to speak of; her eyes were closed during the time that I spoke.

As a result, I felt as if I could get away with some tomfoolery. Having suddenly come across as rather parched (which is a poncey way of saying that I was thirsty) I spotted a water bottle in my bag and made a terrible decision: to make use of my ill-begotten magic.

I suppose that we all need to exercise our minds every once in a while, so the bottle eventually began its journey once I’d gotten a ‘grip’ on the thing. Even though I’d done it before, it was amazing to watch the object move, seemingly without any reason to do so. Granted, I hated myself as I did it, but my arms were tired- and I’d need to get over my incessant self-loathing at some point.

A loathed gesture or not, it was always helpful- and eye catching. As the bottle slowly moved towards me, tiny arms grabbed at it in an attempt to interrupt its flight, and I felt the resistance it created form behind my eyes. The attack, thankfully, was a failure, and my thirst was soon quenched.

Questions always followed something like this. “Why are you doing magic again?” Eve inevitably asked me, pushing her face further into mine. I shifted us both so that I could fully occupy the space above her, from which I could observe her grin wildly and wiggle on my lap in delight.

“It just saves my arms from any stress. Your sister took a long time to get to sleep,” I simply explained to the eager inquisitor. Despite mentioning Eva’s name…ish, there were no glances towards the girl’s sleeping form on Eve’s behalf. She may’ve been thinking about the whole ordeal; I certainly hadn’t had to deal with it for a while.

You see, back in the day, the staff at the nursery told me to ‘rock Eva to sleep’, but I never quite figured it out. After a while, I learned that I could make do with awkwardly rubbing my hand back-and-forth along the width of the girl’s lower back like a lethargic DJ. Even now, it seemed to be enough, but it was an arduous process.

They place so much trust in you.

“Can I do a magic?”

Snapping me out of my moment of nostalgia, Eve had asked me a simple question. A quick glance at her face offered an expression that reflected such low effort. Such a throwaway line should’ve been easily brushed off, like wiping dirt off your knees- yet it was the most terrifying question that I’d ever been asked, especially from someone so young.

The level-headed innocence that the little girl continued to exude while I felt my throat tighten didn’t help at all. It was a small request; it wasn’t something that was pondered on for many moments or even asked as a break of tradition- maybe it was even something…normal. We didn’t need to get involved with this. She didn’t, at least.

Um…but it’s okay. This is what we’re here for, after all.

We…

The-the teachers…

We need to…

…What was it again?

“I really hope not, sweetheart!”

Right. Instinct, I guess. Um…I guess this is where the body takes over. Maybe in the sense that ‘when the cat’s away, the mice will play’ or whatever that pseudonym is- is that even the right word? I bet Mrs. Stuart would know. Or we could just ask Google. That’s a good thing to do with the children. I was always told that there was great benefit in talking to the children about how you didn’t always know everything.

I was only ever told, mind you.

“You’re perfect the way you are!”

I was handsy, as I always am, with the young girl. My arms were wrapped around her quickly, to the extent that my envelopment of the child was sudden enough to make her squeal- hopefully from joyous surprise. Either way, the noise jolted Eva back to life, and she wordlessly pushed herself up from her place of slumber and into the bottom of my vision.

My brain quickly caught up with itself- yet my mind also refused to let Eve go, even while the girl in question shuffled herself around to find new leverage. I tried to speak to Eva as well, but my voice was so lacking in volume, it wasn’t even worth acknowledging. Eva certainly didn’t seem to notice.

Luckily for me, Eva’s vow of silence seemed to outstay its welcome. Having fished her teddy bear out of one of the bags that it’d rolled into during her little kip, she made a good attempt to force herself onto my lap, soon giving up once it became apparent that her sister wasn’t going to budge. This left her to slump against me while her head likely continued to spin.

I’d lost my water bottle, by the way. That was gone. Ironically so, given that I was the only person there without something in my mouth. Granted, I wasn’t particularly bothered by the girls’ collective decision that their teddy bears were more interesting than I was, as it allowed me to catch my breath and screw my head back on lest it roll off my shoulders and end up underneath the train carriage.

I clearly wasn’t fully there yet, showcased by my decision to lean down to kiss Eve on her forehead, brushing away some onyx strands as I did so. It at least gave the girl’s mouth a break from the ball of fluff that’d previously rested within it as she immediately and impatiently sought to return the favour.

I allowed this to happen, feeling tiny hands wrench my face down for easier access to the tip of my nose. The sensation was…fine, just a small peck, but it felt safe to me. Despite the rarity of this particular exchange, thankfully so, it felt routine; embedded maybe. A sane mind would’ve discouraged it. I suppose that’s the best way of describing how I was.

This wasn’t helped by Eva’s contribution. The instant that one set of lips left the tip of my nose, another set landed straight on my right cheek and lingered there for longer than they needed to. Once Eva had finally left me alone, she repeated this gesture on her sister’s face, receiving a more resounding response from her than she’d had from me.

In fact, Eve offered me a response as well- in the form of a question that was somehow slightly less terrifying than the last. “Why did you kiss me?”

God, that’s such an awful question. The juvenile nature of it further compounded how ridiculous this whole thing had become. There was clearly no excuse for it, and yet I tried to give one anyway. “Life’s…just hard, cherub. Don’t worry about me; I’m just thinking about a lot.”

My explanation was pathetic- mostly because I’d chosen to give one at all. I knew that an attempt to justify something like this is…a very dangerous decision, regardless of context. Yes, most people don’t go through stuff like this, but…I hate this.

This apparent revelation caused Eve to take a moment to ponder. “Are you thinking about the sea?” she eventually asked.

“No, no, no- I’m not thinking about the sea,” I replied as I hoped to laugh the situation away, even as Eve’s stare seemed fully committed to getting me to talk. “It’s more…complicated.”

“About me and Evie?” Eva questioned further, clumsily attempting to carry on with a previous train of thought. To compound this, she fumbled across her sister’s back and shoulders until she could rest atop them, pushing her face closer to mine. She clearly wanted an answer.

Given everything, I wanted to just say ‘it’s not important’ or ‘let’s have a look out the window and see what we find’ instead of actually wading into this quagmire. Yet sometimes, we make difficult decisions. “It’s just…sometimes…”

In the midst of a newfound pressure in my throat, I paused to suck in some air. I struggled to find the strength to recommence my speech once I’d heard myself exhale, but the force from the two pairs of eyes staring back at me almost pushed the words out from the base of my diaphragm. They sought to both demand and timidly request my answer in equal measure. I wouldn’t have been able to say ‘no’ to either stance. “You girls mean a lot to me.”

The staring continued. It was…it was lovely. There was no malice there. There was never any ill intent. They willed me to continue, so, on I went. “You girls have kept me going, really. You’ve…you’ve done a lot to make me happy when I…well, when I feel sad.”

There wasn’t much else that I could say- certainly not back then. Everything about this was wrong; there are ways to feel things and express things, and this wasn’t it, clearly. These girls- my students…they needed me to be strong.

But I couldn’t do it.

And now I’m excusing it.

I’d never felt so ashamed.

“David, are you crying?”

I didn’t even get a chance to focus on anything else before my emotional frailties were gently pointed out by one of the girls. Indeed, my vision blurred as I had to deal with shame as an additional burden. I rubbed at my eyes in a bid to rid them of any moisture as I mumbled to myself.

“I hope you don’t ever have to understand…”

Whether my comment was audible or not, it was fair to say that the mood was dour. Any silence that followed would be an unfortunate inevitability. Inevitable, yes- but not necessary, if a sudden and repeated banging from just in front of my closed eyes was any indication.

I snapped my eyes open to witness a sandcastle bucket being given an almighty smack, courtesy of a small, yellow spade and a small, grinning child. I’d initially jumped due to the volume, expecting the worst, but it appeared that Eve had just grown restless again, and had started to hit away.

And soon, along came another, then another, then another. I don’t know where the little one got her strength from, but she was putting it to good use as she marched around the room; I was worried that the base of her bucket might break. It was a transparently unrhythmic sound that didn’t even seem to echo within the train carriage, instead choosing to drop to the floor as soon as possible. What a dismal racket.

Then Eva joined in, finding an instrument of her own before failing to make the death march any louder, thankfully. Even so, she followed her sister around the perimeter of the aisle, almost bringing a sense of rhythm to it, bouncing along in time with the ‘beat’.

Oh, and then came the chanting. Having finally found a tempo that they liked, the girls began a repeating chant of, “Sandcastle!”, every syllable becoming louder and louder until the instruments that had started this whole mess began to feel obsolete.

I, uh…I think I liked it. Don’t get me wrong: this was really hurting my ears, yet I couldn’t help but laugh at it. It was the commitment that got me: the constant, merciless chanting; the intense looks of concentration on their faces; the way that they managed to keep the same rigid shape and marching pattern.

Sadly, I did need to put an end to it, faced with the threat of the roof collapsing on top of us. Therefore, with an increasingly loud, “Alright, alright, alright!”, I was able to bring the noise back down to a reasonable level. “Where did all that come from?”

Eve answered quickly. “I want to build a sandcastle. Mrs. Stuart doesn’t have a sandpit,” she bluntly told me. To give her explanation a bit of oomph, a particularly fierce glare of sunlight burst through the window and fell upon the girl, virtually setting her bucket and spade alight.

Subtlety had never been this world’s strong suit, proven once again by the sunlight giving way to a vast expanse of sand and water just outside of the train window. Despite how I felt at the time, I was certainly taken aback by the sight of it all once I’d turned to take it all in.

In front of us was a view that could only be described as ‘picturesque’. Stretching off into the distance was a vast expanse of deep blue that captured the sunlight as it fell upon the water’s surface like glitter. Dotted here and there were fantastic, isolated beaches- not white, but a deep yellow in colour, again looking as if the sun had blessed each and every grain of sand. It really was something out of a movie- and oh, so inviting.

Occasionally, the view would be obstructed by a far-off building or rock formation, but it would always return with a look of beauty that seemed to exceed the one before it, as if the landscape itself was desperate to show us what we’d missed. It far exceeded anything that I’d seen back home. That’s not too hard actually, given that it only needed to compete with Barmouth.

Naturally, anywhere my eyes looked, two other sets of eyes would follow. Having caught sight of something for what may’ve been the very first time, both Eve and Eva were at a nearby window in an instant, making wild exclamations about the natural beauty that lingered in their vision. They spoke of this view constantly, as if their rampant discussion of the water in front of them was the only force holding it there.

In all of this excitement, it must’ve become a well-kept secret that there was more than one window. In this hectic episode, especially so soon after the last one, I knew that I’d need to step in to support. Soon enough, excitement turned to agitation, and once the girls’ altercation began to grow physical, I lifted the perpetrator away from the fracas- and we can all guess which child that was.

“You’re being obtuse,” I informed Eve, plonking her down on the seat opposite. Maybe ‘obtuse’ was the wrong word to use, as Eve’s head slowly and silently drifted off to meet her sister’s equally blank stare. “Never mind. Let’s look out this window.”

True to my word, I pointed out the window closest to the pair of us. Eve was quick to follow the movement of my finger and soon plastered her face into the glass. Then, seemingly satisfied with their fifteen seconds apart, the two sisters reunited once more, this time happy to share the small pane of glass between them.

With time, the girls’ collective interest in the scene diminished, and Eve soon peeled her face away from it. “Is it warm?” she asked, presumably to me, but she hadn’t fully committed to turning in my direction. I just shrugged.

“It looks it. I guarantee that it’s a lot warmer out there than it is in here.”

I was satisfied with this. Eve wasn’t, but she didn’t ask anything else. This naturally handed the reins to Eva, who dramatically turned to face me, mouth agape and on the edge of a revelation. “Air con,” she breathlessly gasped, as if she’d been grasping at that particular term for some time, as many four-year-olds tend to do, I’m sure.

And how the hell are you supposed to respond to that? “Probably,” I gingerly replied in the most agreeable manner possible, after which we all stood around not doing much. As luck would have it, however, we seemed to be slowing down, signalling the end of our little journey. Eve must’ve noticed this too, as she dove upon one of our bags of ‘things’ and hoisted it into the air.

Now, I’d originally imagined that we were to gently come to a stop, but whoever was in charge of the brakes was pretty terrible at their job. The three of us jolted forwards after a particularly forceful change in speed, causing Eve to swing her cargo through the air as she stumbled.

Eva was already out of reach and on the floor (somehow) during all this. As such, when a runaway tube of suncream careened its way across the floor towards the girl’s face, it was only natural that she was to be struck by it. This was, of course, in spite of the defence that she put up; the barrier that her hands created was noticeably inadequate.

The impact looked as if it would’ve been a painful one, such was its speed. Whether this was the case or not, Eva kept herself in check and seemed content with being pulled upright and patted down for good measure. A stable smile, a set of calm eyes and a lack of any redness on the skin was enough for me, so I let her be, so that I could collect my own bags.

My god, there were a lot of bags. Not too heavy- just awkward. Speaking of awkward, I tried to keep one of my hands free as I know that someone- or a pair of someones- would almost certainly try to take it. It took longer than expected, but there we go: Eve’s fingers were interlocked with my own…at least, to the best of her ability, followed by a declaration of impatience.

“Can we build a sandcastle now?”

Chapter 28: Sand, Sea, and Some Time Alone

God, the sun feels so nice sometimes. Yes, it was pretty warm back in Canterlot- stiflingly so at times- but after getting into that mindset of being at the beach, it felt right. So, so right. I’m rambling already, which probably isn’t a good start.

But, a day after arriving at Flankerton Beach, this was everything that I’d hoped for: some sand, some sea, and some time alone. Or some time away from the ponies, at least. It was time to forget, and I was trying to do just that. It was just me and the two little girls who had been equally stolen from their home.

We were sprawled out on the sand of Flankerton beach, probably taking up a lot more space than we needed to. I served as the tip of a lopsided triangle, with Eve on one side and Eva on the other. The pair were slowly digging their way towards each other, causing untold damage to the sand that they waded through.

We’d spent a long time in this glorified sandpit. Sandcastles were made and broken; holes were dug in the spaces left behind; and the sea was noticed, commented on, approached and then promptly ran away from. It was about what you’d expect.

And it was perfect. It all felt homely; it felt like I was enjoying a holiday at home. Granted, there was still the obvious fact that there were children here, but I’d take what I could get. It wouldn’t be the same without them anyway.

“Mr. Bayard!”

Things were clearer now. Given the whole point of this trip, I felt as if I could have those mature conversations that I’d been avoiding for so long. And I wanted to engage in that- there was just nobody to engage with. That little lilac alicorn was nowhere to be found. The more reluctant side of my psyche suggested that it was likely better this way, that I needed more time, but I had my doubts.

“Mr. Bayard!”

And now wasn’t the time to worry about her. Eve was here, asking, “Are you listening?” with a familiar, impatient tone. Despite being in a whole new place, she was the still the same irritated soul; I would need to repay her for the trouble of walking all the way over here.

“How’re you doing, littlun?” I instinctively responded, squatting down to meet Eve at her level. I flicked at the large-rimmed sunhat that was perched atop her head, scratching my fingers on the brown material that I wasn’t invested enough to know more about. The little girl just grabbed me by the hand and turned back to whence she came.

“I want to do something.”

She led me to the trenches, her miniature shovel still poking out of the sand at a jaunty angle; I was happy that nobody had tripped over it yet. Given that, it was back in its owner’s hands in an instant, and the little girl periodically glanced up at me while she worked, wordlessly beckoning me to join in with the activity.

And so, I did. I stayed there for a while, actually. I’ll spare the details, as my contribution led to little more than a collection of sand under my fingernails and a verbal chewing from the ‘boss’. But Eve seemed to enjoy it, as she never lost her smile in spite of all the imperatives that she projected in my general direction.

The two of us kept at this for a little while, only stopping once we’d encroached slightly too far into Eva’s territory. I’d imagined that our two sides’ creations would connect at some point, but Eva didn’t seem interested in finishing what she’d started when she’d first set off.

Instead, the timid little soul had created a large rectangle in the sand. As crude and slanted as its sides were, it appeared to be a miniature border for the girl to reside in as she knelt on the sand, using a small stick to create a selection of marks within it. She hummed away as she worked, her face showing no emotion as she tasked herself with carving an image into the sand.

“What’s going on here, Eva? You’re a busy bee today,” I greeted the girl-at-work, who showed no indication that she’d even heard me. This absence was further compounded by Eve’s introduction, as she flicked up part of the outskirts of her sister’s creation with her feet while she failed to come to a complete stop in time- again thankfully receiving no reaction.

Rather than draw attention to what I’d just seen, I decided to sit beside Eva as she worked. I was eventually rewarded with a form of acknowledgement: one of the girl’s stubby arms reached out to me while the other remained committed to its duties. Unfortunately for her, this decision proved to be costly, as without anything besides her knees keeping her propped up, she fell forwards before I could even react to her initial movement, planting her face firmly into the sand.

After digging the little one out (and calming her down), I was able to get her to explain what she was doing. Eva said very little, but it was apparent that she’d created drawings of herself in a selection of school scenarios. Although largely indecipherable due to obvious reasons, no matter where she was- eating lunch, playing with blocks, being with her teachers- a smile was always particularly clear on each depiction.

In short, it was just a large drawing, much as she’d done before- but this one felt different. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I could feel a sense of longing within those sketches. In all honesty, it was likely just my own feelings, as the sight of ‘what could have been’ presented in such an innocent way caused me to supress a bit of emotion. All in all, it really only left me with one question:

“Do you miss school?” I quietly asked her, perhaps sounding overly sombre. Eva responded with an equally disheartened nod of her head. My second question of, “Would you like to go back to school?” was met with the same response, with the girl’s eyes, yet to fully dry from a previous outpour of emotion, looking set to spring forth with fresh gestures towards a growing dissatisfaction with the status quo.

This was when Eve broke forth, colliding with her sister in a messy hug that caused further damage to the drawing beneath them as their bodies fell upon it. “I don’t want to go to school!” she gleefully announced in a manner that was wholly expected before pushing herself off the floor, making a good attempt to stay connected to the body beneath her as she rose. “I want to go in the sea.”

Uninterested in permission, Eve set off once more with Eva as her passenger. There was a certain slackness in the connection between their arms, but they headed off in the same direction. It was a shame to see Eva go- mostly for the sake of her drawing; the sand would soon return to normal now that there was nobody left to maintain it.

Our second visit to the sea was more fruitful: the girls actually stood in it this time. Naturally, I was there for moral support- and to stop Eve from splashing too much. She’d enjoyed the water so much, that she’d allowed me to help her float, which I wasn’t expecting at all. I certainly wasn’t expecting her to be so good at keeping still.

We’d eventually retreated, back to the sand where all of our things were located, in order to have some lunch. This all passed quite nicely, and so I was winding down underneath an umbrella with a good book and a sleeping child. Let me explain.

Not the ‘child’ bit. As I sat, reclined with Eva’s fragile frame leaning against me, I stared at the object in my hands, scanning the cover for any word other than ‘another’. I guess ‘another’ word would’ve been nice. I’m sorry- looking at that front cover was making my head hurt.

Yes, Discord’s book had followed me here. I say that in the literal sense; I sure as hell didn’t bring it with me. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the bastard was waiting for me on the contents page. If he was there, I might as well have gone to meet him; it was either that or listen to Eve noisily chomp down on her third slice of watermelon.

Perhaps having an apparently sentient book should’ve been disconcerting- yet it was also intriguing to no end. Discord was clearly a powerful being, and while not appearing to be a thoroughly stand-up-guy, I was sure that he had the ability to teach me many things. Maybe the trick was to be picky about the services he offered.

Hence, the book. The book with the one-word cover. It gave little resistance to me opening it up, and the view inside suggested that there wasn’t much of a pulse within it. To be honest, it just looked like one of Twilight’s little spell books, wherever she may be…

She probably wouldn’t want me to read this.

But that’s when it happened: the page lit up while I was thinking of a reason to look away from it. Indeed, presumably serving as the introductory chapter of this little book, a small passage presented itself to me. I ruffled Eva’s hair with my free hand as I focused on the page:

Every now and then, we cross paths again,

Although, I did not expect you so soon.

Yet, as my last bond breaks, my heart cries as it aches,

And Another has sung along to its tune.

How ever should I put this, so you shan’t overlook this?

The feeling is never the same.

I sense a soul that has changed, arrangements rearranged,

I cannot even fathom your name.

So, let us begin this trial on a whim,

As through this, our bonds are made.

Yet, with time, we forget the people we have met,

Like how the setting sun removes the shade.

It is clear that you fear that this time will disappear,

Given all the times you have done wrong.

But if what they claim are lies appear before your eyes,

Then you are right where you belong.

It was nonsense, as was expected- clearly written by somebody who believed that they were smarter than they actually were. Unnecessarily jovial too. I didn’t want to be friends with this guy.

“What’s the point of this shit?” I softly mumbled to myself as I flicked a page. My frustration grew once I’d set my eyes on the words that awaited me on the following page, only to watch them disappear right in front of me, sinking back into the paper as if it was playfully waiting for next time.

In fact, I was so bewildered by this paragraph’s elusiveness, that I didn’t notice Eve’s approach until my vision was obscured by her left shoulder. At some point, she must’ve gotten bored of her dessert and had decided to pounce on me. Maybe I’d spoken a bit too loudly and had gotten her attention.

“What are you doing?” she plainly questioned. I would’ve loved to have seen her expression, but she hadn’t moved her shoulder out of my face yet.

“Just reading a book, littlun. It’s incredibly…not good.”

Riveting. Although, I didn’t really have much to say about it. I’m not one to read at the best of times, and when I do, I prefer my stories to be tangible. In fact, Eve probably showed more interest in the book than I did, asking, “Is that the book Twilight gave you?”

I tried to laugh- and I think I wanted to- but it all came out as little more than a cough. My chest hurt when I thought of her, of that night, when I said all those things that I shouldn’t have. I forced out a, “I wish. Twilight gives out better gifts than this,” but it clearly wasn’t delivered with the vigour that it deserved. Perhaps that’s why Eve continued the conversation in the way that she did.

“Where did Twilight go?”

The little girl granted me some freedom by pushing away from me while she spoke. In doing so, she revealed Eva, somehow still asleep, but that wasn’t important at that moment. No, the eye contact she initiated captivated me more. Although not exactly sparkling, her eyes showed a desire to learn more. She showed an interest.

“I was…I treated her badly, and now we’re having some time apart.”

Now, at this point, I was expecting a long-winded conversation full of uncomfortable questions- but Eve surprised me. “Did you say sorry?” she innocently requested of me, as if that would solve anything. “You need to say sorry.”

Her gaze remained focused on mine. She sat cross-legged a short distance from me and waited patiently for me to give my response. “You always tell me to say sorry,” she suddenly added, sounding slightly sour about it, maybe due to my lack of a reply.

“Yeah, but you never do,” I lightly fired back at the girl, hopefully softly enough so that it wouldn’t garner any reaction. I was half-successful in this regard, as she looked back at me with slight confusion, as if she had difficulty understanding what I was saying.

“You’re the grown-up.”

I sat still for a while, processing what Eve had said. Blunt as ever, she helped to remind me that this whole thing was a bit silly. Twilight’s always been a dozy mare, but she was gentle and honest with me that night. Blame the drink, blame Discord, blame bad timing…no, it was me. Of course. And I should be the one to fix it.

Twilight deserved as much; she deserved a proper apology from me- something actually raw and honest, just like herself. I couldn’t believe that I’d needed a four-year-old to shine that light upon me. “I think you might be right, sweetie,” I finally informed the little girl, whose face reflected a similar optimism.

At this point, I thought of a way to achieve this, quickly remembering that mobile phones technically still existed. I did my thing, poorly explained as it was, but I stopped. I thought of the best way to do this, wracking my brain with wild thoughts about how Twilight would react to it all.

Eventually, I decided that this way of speaking was never going to work- certainly not in this context. I gave Twilight one last thought before putting my phone down, letting it fall into the sand beneath me. Sadly, that moment of petulant neglect was insufficient, and I picked the thing up once more before throwing it as far as I could, hoping that it washed into the sea. It didn’t mean much to me anyway; the majority of technology doesn’t.

Naturally, Eve watched me do all this, waiting for me to stop before questioning what she’d seen. “What did you do?” she curiously enquired, sounding as if she was preparing to run after my phone more and more with every syllable that was pushed through her lips.

I didn’t reply to that. Rather, I lay back until I felt my head touch the sand, closing my eyes for good measure as I felt a wave of drowsiness overtake me. “I’ll go get it,” Eve informed me from outside of my vision, and it took a bit of effort to find the words necessary to stop her in her tracks.

“Littlun…it’s alright.”

I heard sand being kicked up next to me as Eve approached once more, kneeling next to me and casting her gaze down up me. I think she looked happy- I couldn’t really tell. I might’ve even closed my eyes at that point.

“Shall I get it?” she asked, hoping for some confirmation. I tried my best to give her my answer, stretching one of my arms out on the sand in a fruitless attempt at pulling the little one in.

“No…trust me: we don’t need it anymore.”

Chap 29- Lunch With the Griffons

At some point, I must’ve fallen asleep. If not that, then I’d found a unique way to disconnect from my body as I stood alone, in a place that was far too different to Flankerton beach to even exist on the same plane of reality. This stuff can’t be good for the mind.

What’s more, this place didn’t look like anything that Luna would create. There was nothing but blackness; I couldn’t see anything around me. I’d mentioned voids before, but this space around me (however large it was) was the textbook definition of a void- of nothingness.

In fact, the only sign of life was a glint of light from behind me. It may’ve only been a flicker, but due to the absence of anything at all, it may as well have been an inferno. It was enough to give me the motivation to move forward, and thankfully I was able to do so with little resistance.

With nowhere else to go, I headed towards where the flicker of light came from. As expected, once I approached its general area, the spark returned once more, before igniting into a small ball of fire that floated a few feet from my face. The flames were effortlessly captivating, lighting up my eyes with a lilac glare. Such a colour heavily hinted towards the identity of the pony who was keeping me here.

“Twilight?”

My voice echoed considerably while I spoke, although it did little to take away from how stifling the area felt, like being trapped in a cardboard box. This wasn’t helped by the inaction of the flames in front of me, which only crackled in a way that helped contribute towards the lonely feeling that this place gave me.

I reached out in an attempt to grab at the flames- perhaps just to feel their warmth. In doing so, I was hit with an unfortunate truth: I had no hands. No feet either. Given what was in front of me, it was entirely possible that I was just another ball of flames, which made me wonder if I’d actually spoken at all.

Just as I was beginning to fall into a state of crisis, the fire in front of me erupted again, letting out an even more brilliant surge of light. Again, I’m not sure if I had eyes, but I couldn’t stop myself from staring at it. It felt as if the fire was fighting for power, destroying itself before immediately beginning anew, slightly stronger each time.

Unfortunately, this cycle repeated itself an ungodly number of times. If I had arms, I would’ve passive-aggressively folded them while I waited for the flames to subside. It honestly felt like watching someone trying to use a really shit cigarette lighter.

Eventually though, we seemed to hit the sweet spot. With a noticeably stronger ignition, the lilac embers pulsed and flickered periodically, finally suggesting that there was a greater force controlling them, with an unsure voice to match.

“Please tell me it worked. Please tell me it worked…”

Yep, that was Twilight. I should’ve known that we would never be able to go more than a few days without doing something unnecessary. Still, I was with her now…I think, so I repeated her name, hoping that my voice would register this time.

It apparently did, if the reaction I received was any indication. “It worked? It worked! It worked, it worked, it worked!” the flames declared with increasing intensity. I was sure that if Twilight’s physical form was in front of me, she’d be dancing along to the rhythm of her own success.

That didn’t help me, though. “It’s good to see you too. Well, ‘see’…” I began, not too sure what to say given the circumstances. To add to this, I tried to reach out once again, only to be reminded that I’d need my body to do that.

Handily, the Twilight-ball carried on. “I’m really sorry about this! I felt you call out to me, but I couldn’t reach you,” she informed me. It was fairly humorous to watch the fire stay relatively static while Twilight nervously detailed her thought processes.

I should’ve known that this was Twilight’s doing. Big question though: “How did you do this?” I enquired, genuinely interested this time.

Twilight was quick to respond. “I didn’t want to. But I thought you might be in danger, so I brought your subconscious somewhere safe.”

“That’s…a fairly illegal-sounding spell you’ve got there.”

I genuinely don’t know what to add here- this was just a ‘talking heads’ scene, taken to its absolute limit. “It’s not like that,” Twilight retorted, shifting into a more clinical way of speaking. “Look at us- look around us; what would you even call this?”

“Impressive,” was my answer, quickly delivered too. So quick in fact, that it seemed to leave the mare at a loss for words. “Twilight?” I added, trying for the umpteenth time to use my non-existent arms to regain the mare’s attention. I love arms. Give them back.

And because of this, Twilight remained absent from the conversation. Her flame still flickered, so I wasn’t worried about her losing ‘connection’; she must’ve been taking a long time to think. “This is the part where I’d give you a shake or something,” I continued, hoping to keep the energy going. “Or a hug. You always liked those.”

“I lack the hooves to hug- and you lack a form to hold,” Twilight informed me, almost coldly so. She didn’t say anything else- no matter how much I willed and waited for her to do so. I had no choice, so I decided to try again.

“I missed you, sweetheart.”

I tried my best to sound sincere. I wanted to be. Either way, I minutely expressed my feelings to the blackness around me, only Twilight’s flame offering any respite from it. Truth be told, I was happy to wait in silence this time- to wait for those words to sink in, whatever reaction they would receive.

After a while, however, I could see which way the wind was blowing. “Come and find me- talk to me. I know that you know where I am,” I informed the ball of fire in front of me. “After all, this…thing? It’s not ideal. I feel like I don’t fully have a conscience here.”

“Yes, Flankerton Beach. I was expecting you to go somewhere quiet. I was sure that you’d go somewhere colder…”

Whether Twilight was purposely being so emotionless or not, this conversation was quickly petering out. “You should probably send me back now,” I reluctantly requested. It was less that I had nothing to say, and more that I didn’t want to bring attention to the obvious fact that Twilight was still upset about the whole thing.

The answer that I received from the ball of flames wasn’t exactly encouraging. “If that’s what you want…” was what I got, lacking the expected authority- for better or for worse. I wished that I had the ability to scratch at the back of my neck or something, just to take my focus away from this.

I…well, the word ‘stood’ may be too active for this situation. I merely existed in this place while I mulled over the correct way to phrase my answer. I talked a big game, but now that I was actually in the moment, I felt like it was best to bite my tongue. My feelings towards Twilight didn’t need to be so complex; leaving wasn’t what I wanted to do, and yet…

“Yes. It is.”

My answer didn’t warrant a response from Twilight, it seemed. Rather, I felt the space around me tighten as a familiar feeling of disconnect began to overwhelm me. Judging by the immediacy of this transition, I imagined how Twilight had internally reacted to the news- but there wasn’t any time to think about that anymore. A way out was approaching…

Well, it was warm again. The heat was the first thing I felt, quickly followed by the sensations given off by limbs once more. Even before I opened my eyes, as heavy and unresponsive as they initially were, I tried to move my legs, only to find that they too were difficult to move at first. However, before I began to panic at the threat of this turning into a body-horror, I heard a familiar voice that inadvertently eased the tension.

“Mr. Bayard! Why did you move?!”

Despite the short-sighted harshness of the admonishment I received, it was the best thing I could’ve heard. My time in the darkness (or whatever pretentious terms you want to use) wasn’t particularly long, but I kind of liked being in control of my body. It was a very low-level thought.

Opening my eyes, I was able to observe the reason for the grief that I’d caused- as well as the efforts taken to rectify the situation. My legs had been partially buried in the sand while I’d slept, courtesy of the usual suspects, and my heinous lapse in judgement had ruined what must’ve been many minutes’ worth of hard work.

Happily, though, I wasn’t that bothered. Gingerly and with little coordination, I lifted myself from the sand and stared at the ocean in the background. The shimmer it had originally so proudly displayed had lost much of its lustre, as the sun itself seemed to be showing the same sense of fatigue, threatening to slump over the horizon.

“It’s quite late now, girls,” I informed the pair of miscreants. Whether the little ones were at my beck and call was left to be seen as my vision stayed focused on the horizon; I was unsure if they’d even reacted to what I’d said. Nature is often captivating when you have nothing else to focus on, and I was sure that the three of us were to be blessed with a beautiful sunset soon enough. I wanted to share it with them.

“Are we going home now?” Eve quickly asked me, closing the distance between us until she waited within arms’ reach. I thought of an answer to the little one’s question. Her inference skills were remarkable.

“We’re going back to the house. If nothing else, we’re getting something to eat. It’s been a while.”

“I’m hungry,” Eva helpfully contributed. I hadn’t actually seen her since I’d woken up, so her ever-hesitant voice was refreshing to hear. This was especially true, given how she seemed insistent in staying directly behind me- even after introducing herself into the conversation.

I gave the little girl a quick glance over my shoulder, indeed confirming that she was still with us, dainty and fragile as she was, before returning myself back to Eve. I gave the inquisitor a point with my finger, gesturing to Eva behind me for emphasis as the two finally sought fit to reunite. Once together again, the pair only responded with a subtle lick of the lips.

So, dinner was on the cards then. “Then, let’s get going, littluns,” I declared to the pair, who were hopefully just as ready to leave as I was. In the traditional fashion, however, Eve took it upon herself to disappear behind me, leading the charge towards her imminent supper.

This was obviously nothing new, but we were in unfamiliar territory, regardless of how sun-kissed and laidback it all appeared to be. Free from the expanse of silky-soft sand was a small town that felt like little more than a large market. As expected, this consisted of many bars and restaurants of varying complexity and theming, offering anything that you could ask for- except for meat. It was a familiar backdrop to any seaside town that I’d experienced, and it was nice to know that some things never change.

More than that, the place was largely unoccupied; the streets were mostly clear at this hour, and the elderly ponies that remained paid us no mind. I inwardly thanked them for the peace, but it was possible that the entire population were too short-sighted to notice that we were any different.

Although, they’d soon get the chance to see us up close, if Eve kept on charging forwards into the dwindling daylight. She needed a jacket. It would’ve been difficult to chase her down, and I also wasn’t able to just abandon all our stuff on the beach, so I was thankful to see her come to a stop at the point where the sand ended and the stone pathway began, far in the distance.

“You’re going to get taken away if you’re not careful,” I warned the flighty little thing once I got closer, struggling with the combination of bags, buckets and a separate, needy child. Eva had stayed mercifully close for the entire journey up to her sister, who seemed uninterested in what I was suggesting. “If you run that far away from me, I can’t help you if something happens.”

There was still little to grasp at in terms of a reaction, so I let out a sigh and wearily pointed in the general direction of where we needed to go. Eve led the way, of course, and she took us a great distance before stopping suddenly, seemingly having noticed a change in the air. It was a scent long forbidden in a world such as this, yet it was also too tantalising for her to ignore.

Meat.

I smelled it too. It was pretty damn potent, which was a bit baffling given the herbivore-ish thing that these ponies liked to show off. Pescatarian, maybe. Still, if any meat was available (and not massively illegal), I wouldn’t have minded getting involved with something shady.

And judging by the direction that Eve was travelling in, she seemed to have made up her mind as well. She brought us to the correct place fairly succinctly, albeit with a few questions in-between. The enthusiasm that she showed, eventually coming back to drag me by the hand, suggested that she was excited for this too, so I felt more assured by the minute.

Eva didn’t give me quite the same level of confidence, although that wasn’t a bad thing. Granted, she gripped my arm ever-tighter with every step we took, coming to a crescendo once we reached the place. Yeah, the outside didn’t look that great, but she really didn’t need to be so clingy.

Especially if it meant that we could eat something. Sure, we stood outside what was essentially a small, white caravan (maybe even an RV if you were so inclined), smattered with dirt and grime and all that lovely stuff. I wouldn’t have gone in there if I wasn’t armed, but they say that if your establishment looks like a drug den, it probably has good food. Those dealers can cook.

And there he was. Reclined on a dreadfully tatty couch just in front of the caravan lay a male griffon. He was more interesting than that old bird Fairfeather at least, given this one’s colour palette of largely white with occasional streaks of brown that wrapped around his body. More exceptional than this was the way the feathers at the top of his head darkened considerably, blackening on the right side of his face as if he’d ended up on an open fire at some point along with his food.

Speaking off that, all that delicious-smelling meat was sizzling away in the background- and our griffon friend lethargically rose from his seat, probably to tend to his cooking. Doing so revealed his body that, while clearly muscular, had much more meat on it than the other…two griffons that I’d met before. This man knew how to eat good.

At some point, he must’ve seen us coming; while still moving away from us, he made his introduction. “About time you showed up,” he commented, sounding oddly chipper given his word choice. I assumed he was a ‘he’, of course, given the deepness of his voice, every word spoken like he had a mouth full of gravel. “Hope you like burnt ends.”

Naturally, a lot of questions came from this. The ones most notable for me were:

Who was this guy?

Why was he waiting for me?

Why hadn’t the town’s pony population had him arrested?

Where could I get some of what he was cooking?

I was at a loss. The girls were too; they didn’t move. “You were waiting for us?” I asked the stranger, hoping to move through my list of questions. Eva idled forwards while I spoke, as if my encroachment into the conversation had given her the courage to move inwards herself.

“I know you’ve got your questions,” the griffon reassured us before disappearing around a corner. “Maybe a bit of brisket will put your mind at ease.”

I watched the griffon disappear, my eyes instantly snapping to the girls once he had finally left. From the looks on their faces, they seemed to be wondering the same things that I was. I gave Eve’s hair a ruffle, as she was the closest to me, and Eva returned for the same treatment while we waited.

Soon enough, the griffon returned with a large tray of food balanced on his back. The laws of physics amused me, but the divine assault on my senses shut me up for a moment, as the meat upon that beloved tray made me weak from how self-fulfilling the whole scenario was.

“Change your mind?” the griffon smoothly enquired as he approached, voice so silky that I had more excitable thoughts in mind.

“Well, you’re very convincing,” I mindlessly replied, unable to look away. Looking back, I should’ve asked for permission from the little ones before committing to anything- but, still. “Yeah, we’ll stay. But if there’s anything in there that shouldn’t be…”

Finally having some clarity, albeit the wrong kind, I made an effort to summon my bow in my free hand. I kept the thing facing the floor, hoping that it conveyed a certain message without being overly threatening. I guess drawing a weapon is never the best idea. Do Americans walk into their local BBQ restaurant carrying a handgun? Probably.

“Don’t shoot me down like that. Monsters play with their food- they don’t serve it.”

In the midst of my moral grandstanding, my griffon friend had moved away from me once more, pushing his way through the front door to his…house? Establishment? Either way, he left us alone, all but daring us to follow him through, into the unknown.

“You okay, girls?” I questioned my pair of travellers, who had stayed unnervingly quiet. I expected that much from Eva, but even she was starting to worry me as she stared off into the floor, watching it intensely.

“She wants a burger,” Eve sought to remind me, rattling off this little fact likely out of obligation.

“Cheeseburger…” Eva sought to concur. As is tradition, this was all that the pair needed to proceed, making sure to grab me by the arm and show me what I was missing out on.

I was starting to like the subdued nature of this town. Now inside this little home-from-home, I was excited for what was to come next. “Make yourself at home,” our host had sensually told us while tending to something in the far corner, so I did just that, finding a comfortable seat and fighting off my hunger pains.

The suave gentleman had taken our ‘orders’ and then buggered off back outside to do his thing. It at least gave the little ones the freedom to move about and stretch their legs a tad, finding some joy in moving between the smattering of couches and coffee tables. At least they stayed in the ‘living’ room area of this unrealistically large space.

This whole area was incredibly homely- unkempt with cushions out of place, tea towels hanging over every mismatched chair, and some concerning stains on the purple carpet. Granted, the colours reminded me of a certain someone, and the haphazard nature of everything reminded me of that certain someone’s mind, but I was happy to ignore that for now.

And the little ones were a greater priority right now. Especially so, given how their rambunctious exploration came to a premature end with an, “Oh, it’s you,” from Eve. She sounded unenthused, and the lack of name suggested that this was an old acquaintance at best.

From Eve’s perspective, this was technically true, yet it also made perfect sense for him to be here. Fairfeather was among us, munching on a meal of his own in a distant dark corner. It took a moment to find him, such was his knack for blending in, but it was definitely him, crooked arm and all.

“Heyo!” he declared to me, uninterested in entertaining the children. He jumped out of his seat and made his way over to me. With a tangible awkwardness, he slumped into a seat opposite me, unbothered by the bewildered look I was giving him.

What’s more, the bastard didn’t even say anything, so it was up to me to salvage something from this. “So…what are you doing here? You here just for me?”

I found it hard to believe that this was a coincidence. Fairfeather didn’t strike me as the type to have much paid time off. “Hey, can’t I spend some time with my buddy?” he attempted to explain, sounding thoroughly unconvincing.

“No, you can’t,” I bluntly replied, gesturing for the girls to return to me. They chose to decline this request, and a gentle banging of miscellaneous objects lingered in the background throughout the rest of my conversation.

“I didn’t want to make it so obvious…” Fairfeather began with a high-pitched sigh. “…But somepony’s gotta keep you safe. You lose your mind when you’re out here too long.”

“So, I can never be left alone…” I lamented, wishing that I had a pint glass to slam into the table. The smell coming from the grill outside had made me hungry, and the mere sight of someone from this world was making my eyes heavy. “Come to stop me from shooting the locals?”

“More to…stop you from going crazy again,” Fairfeather reluctantly corrected, focusing more on the tabletop than any glare that I could send him.

“I don’t go crazy, mate- the world does.”

Fairfeather tried his hardest to stifle a laugh at this, further muddying the tone of this conversation. This wasn’t helped by a small voice beside me, compounding the misery with a resounding, “You have cried a lot,” spoken by a black-haired girl who was in no position to start making observations like that.

“I’m sorry sweetheart- but you cannot take the moral high ground here,” I rebuked with a smile that was harder to restrain than I’d imagined. Following on from that feeling, I lifted Eve onto my lap, where she silently pushed upwards until she stood on my thighs, wrapped her arms around my head, whispered something unintelligible, and then disappeared back into the corner.

I momentarily wondered if those events had actually happened, not helped by Fairfeather’s lack of a reaction. “You talk like a supervillain sometimes. Ponies are starting to take notice.”

“The princesses would love to see you in the best state of mind when you come back to Canterlot- so this is what we’re doing.”

‘This’ of course, being a meal and an awkward conversation in someone’s RV. None of this motivated me to speak any further, so I mostly kept quiet until the sensual griffon from earlier returned with a selection of meals that, again, I was no longer that arsed with trying.

Granted, I proved to be the only one with this mindset. The second that those plates hit the table, Eve and Eva were upon them, arguing and clambering over one another to find the most comfortable seat. Inevitably, this prize was whichever space was closest to me, and I was happy for this; I still wasn’t fully comfortable in a place like this.

I needn’t have been so worried by the griffons. They kept to themselves while they ate, and I at least found out the other guy’s name. Or his nickname at least, as I wasn’t sure if ‘Hasher’ was meant to be some sort of joke or not.

It didn’t matter what happened to the griffons or the ponies or whatever in that moment anyway: the kids were alright, showcased by the way that they chomped down on their food while having an at-times nonsensical, at-times surprisingly eloquent conversation. It was as if nothing had really changed. I don’t know why it made me so sad.

Fairfeather had alluded to a greater purpose of this. I guess it was to inspire, or whatever. A call to arms. It just left me feeling slightly withdrawn; I only spoke in response to a comment that one of the girls had made. Maybe that was progress, compared to everything else that had happened so far.

Now that I think about it, it was something new- something nice. I would’ve preferred to have shared it with only the children, but the griffons felt more serene in the way that they handled themselves. The room was quiet; the activity within was pedestrian. It was…away from everything else. Detached, perhaps.

So much so, that I wasn’t bothered about the nature of this ‘Hasher’ fella, or his meth-lab RV, or why the townsfolk weren’t in the process of lynching us for enjoying a meat-lovers’ sample platter on their doorstep. These guys were probably the most normal people I’d met so far- and that was likely because they just left me alone.

The girls were knackered after their hefty portions as well. I wasn’t doing much better, so getting the pair out of there was likely to be difficult. It would’ve been so easy to kick the three of us while we were down, but the griffons watched on, neither helping nor hindering. To me, that was a hell of a lot better than getting involved.

I felt very little when I left the griffons behind; I only wanted to put the girls to bed. Obviously, I’d given my regards to the chef, but there wasn’t anything else to say. The experience was a tepid one, and- guilt aside- those experiences were often some of the best.

Such a lack of enthusiasm was reflected in the quiet walk home. With full stomachs, the little ones had found little use in staying awake any longer, leaving me to precariously balance them on my upper body. I ached from the exertion, but I was delighted. In this world at least, I’d never felt more at peace.

And I’m sure that that was the point of this whole trip.

Chapter 1: Nice to See the Sun Out for a Change

“…Nice to see the sun out for a change.”

I’d never been a fan of awkward conversations- I feel like nobody is- but it’s not like they were anything new. Even so, the lack of anything interesting to say began to hang in the air around me as I adjusted the collar of my shirt and ran a hand through my hair for the umpteenth time that morning.

At least the view outside the window was nice: a school playground that had been coated with a fresh layer of frost. It glistened in the light of a low-hanging sun that looked just as unhappy with getting up at this time as I was.

It was just another Wednesday for me, albeit one with a beautiful sunrise. Indeed, the weather was far more striking than what I was used to, particularly for November. It almost made the cursed 5 a.m. alarm worthwhile. The low sun had begun to allow thin shafts of sunlight to break through the blinds of the classroom as well, so that offered me something to look at. Had to be better than continuing with my conversation.

Still, I should’ve been grateful for the opportunity that I was being given at Western Oak Primary. I’d been able to build on what I’d learned in my first year of university and get one step closer to becoming a teacher. The second year had been a drag so far, but these years are all just a means to an end anyway.

My name’s David, by the way; Mr. Bayard to everyone else. Or ‘short arse’. One of the two. ‘A man whose shortness of height was matched only by his shortness of temper’ or something similarly pretentious. Maybe it’s those remarks that make adults so much harder to work with when compared to children.

It's a strange thing to say out loud- may carry some unfortunate implications as well, unfortunately. Maybe it contributed to the awkwardness that I felt in that moment, and many moments before and after this one. Yes, in that colourful room full of numbers, books and hastily scribbled artwork, all I could do was stand there lifelessly and wait for the start of the school day so that I could do… something. Anything, really.

I’m sure that my classroom teacher, Mrs. Stuart- an older woman with grey hair and a sour disposition- knew about my discomfort, yet I suppose this happened so often that she saw it as part of her daily routine. “I know; I do love frosty days like this when the sun’s out but it’s still chilly,” she had replied, just as cold as the weather outside. Her voice had stayed in a neutral state for a while now, going through the motions in a scenario that was painfully frequent.

I was delighted when the late arrival of one of my colleagues gave me something else to think about. She was Ms. Johnson: a larger woman who seemed just as jaded as I was- the difference between me and her was that she could turn her cynicism on and off on the fly, and I’m still not sure how the hell she did it. Regardless of that, she often served as the bad cop in our little ‘good cop; bad cop’ partnership. Apparently, I was too soft for anything else.

“Where the hell have you been?” I casually asked her as she approached, taking off her bag and flinging it into a nearby cupboard.

“Caught in bloody traffic, love. You’d know if you could be arsed to learn to drive.”

Her answer was everything that I expected it to be; she even flashed her middle finger at me for good measure. I couldn’t stop myself from grinning in that moment as I flashed two of my own. I’m sure she saw it- her smile said that much.

A short silence passed us by, after which I asked, “So, what’s on the agenda today, then?” I gave myself a quick stretch in an attempt to get my mind and body into the groove that I’d need for the day ahead.

“Don’t ask me that- you already know what it is. It’s those bastard gingerbread men.”

“Is it actually? Fuck’s sake- I thought that was next week.”

“Language, you two,” came the voice of Mrs. Stuart, calm despite the circumstances. It was the first time I’d seen the old hag smile for… God knows how long. She was certainly happier when Ms. Johnson was around.

But she did have a point; the children were due to arrive any moment now. Surely enough, those who had eaten at the school’s breakfast club arrived moments after our unprofessional exchange. I was made particularly aware of this as the bottom of my vision became filled with the flailing arms of two young girls: Eve and Eva.

The two girls in question were sisters, both of the age of four. They were dressed in identical school uniforms, the frills on their skirts and their dainty socks reaffirming their young age. Over the top of their shirts lay oversized cardigans, haphazardly worn and barely held together, with numerous buttons done up incorrectly or not done up at all. I was all for children doing things themselves, but this wasn’t the first time that they’d looked like this, and it got to me a bit.

Now, as part of my tasks at school, I had to carry out observations of the children in my class. And, when I’d had the task of checking what those two were doing, it was very rare to see one child without the other. Their unusually strong bond and their similar names were the only indications that the pair were even sisters at all; they didn’t look particularly alike.

Eve was the more outgoing of the two, and her features did well to reflect this. Her hair was sleek and black in colour, falling enviously straight. It had a slight natural shine that made it seem thicker than it actually was, all tied together in an artfully messy ponytail that hung down to the base of her neck. Her sharp, blue eyes demanded attention and served to contrast with the onyx of her hair. The blackness of her hair drew in the light and the brightness in her eyes reflected it straight back, causing every shimmer and every shade to at some point pass straight through her.

Compared to the sharpness of her sister, Eva fit more into the category of ‘cute’. Her hair was a much more mellow brown in colour, collected in a relaxed bun that had a habit of falling clumsily over her face whenever she got upset. She seemed to be capable of styling the hair herself, embarrassingly better than I’d ever been able to achieve. The brown of her hair transferred over to her eyes as well. This gave Eva a more neutral colour palette that caused her to blend into the background behind her sister and her more contrasting features. Her amber irises had a magnificent depth to them; always watching- thoroughly observing. I always wondered what she was looking for.

“Morning, Mr. Bayard!” Eve called out to me as she approached. She stretched out her arms in front of her, wordlessly beckoning for a hug, which I happily reciprocated with a quick tender embrace. Eva had lagged behind her sister to the extent that I’d already let Eve go by the time she made it over to me. That didn’t matter to her, though, as she held out her hand expectantly upon reaching me anyway. Once again, I reciprocated and watched as she wordlessly pushed herself into me once her hand was in mine. She gave off a soft hum of presumable contentment as she found comfort in the slightly uncomfortable spot on my left thigh.

When preparing my reply, I knew better than to match Eve’s enthusiasm- certainly at this time of day. Still, I mustered a “Morning, you two,” towards the pair. I’d always envied the ways in which my fellow teachers were able to bring so much emotion into their voices, whereas I had to stick to monotone. It’s always allowed me to be more neutral, I suppose.

I gave Eva’s hair a quick ruffle as she continued to lean on me. She said nothing in return, but her light smile and relaxed posture suggested that she was in good spirits. Even as the other children in the class began to filter in and cause hell to descend around us, the three of us were wrapped in a brief, comfortable silence before Eve decided to interrupt.

“Are we making gingerbread men today?” she questioned. At the mention of this, I felt Eva push away from me, looking up at me with those large, brown eyes. I mean, I didn’t have a choice either way- biscuit making was part of the lesson plan- but I still haven’t worked up the courage to say ‘no’ to those eyes. Every time I look into them, a silent fear reflects back at me. It’s hard to explain.

It was one of those things that just makes you relent, even if you had no desire to do anything close to what they were begging you not to do. I’d always had an urge to look into Eva’s strange behaviours because they didn’t make sense, but that information probably wasn’t for me to know.

Either way, I always had no choice but to bend to their melancholic will. A quick glance to Ms. Johnson- my partner in crime for this activity- showed a woman who looked as if she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. I turned back to the girls before replying.

“How did you remember that and we didn’t?” I wondered aloud, not asking anyone in particular.

“Because I love gingerbread!” Eve answered with a large grin.

“I suppose we can…” I started, slapping one of my fingers against my cheek in an exaggerated display of deep thought. I suppressed a chuckle as I watched Eve lean forward in interest. “But only if me and Ms. Johnson get to eat them all.”

Eve jumped back, almost knocking into another child in the process.

“That’s not fair- they’re mine!”

“They’re everyone’s, Eve. What about your sister?”

“Oh yeah. Sorry, Eva.”

Eve dismissively waved an arm in Eva’s general direction. “Now, come on- let’s make gingerbread men!” She clasped her sister’s hands and began to jump on the spot in an attempt to either make herself more annoying or make her sister more excited. I’d argue that she achieved both, as Eva gave a few enthusiastic nods.

“Yeah,” was all Eva could muster, her voice soft yet resounding and her eyes never leaving her sister’s. From what I’d seen, Eve fulfilled her ‘big sister’ roll nicely. With a spring in her step and outgoing personality, she perfectly complimented Eva’s far more nervous and solitary way of thinking. Eva had a habit of following her sister in her antics when they were left to their own devices. That would be until Eve did something stupid, at which point Eva would often burst into tears and find the nearest adult, like a prisoner turning themselves in. Even though her sister consistently threw her under the bus, Eve continued to drag Eva along on her adventures, and I couldn’t have been happier about that.

Either way, they were a good match for each other. It was interesting how Eve would often refuse to play with any children besides Eva and, in a counterproductive way, I quite liked that. I would never discourage a child from making friends, but Eve had a high social intelligence, so I wasn’t too concerned about her. But more than that, it was clear to see that Eva struggled greatly without her big sister; her communication skills were very limited when her sister wasn’t around.

Still, I had bigger fish to fry, so I clapped my hands together in a bid to psyche myself up.

“Fantastic! We’ll get everybody settled down and then we’ll get started.”

With several sighs and some swearing behind closed doors, the day was quickly completed, and everyone was free to head home. Eve and Eva had moved off as well to their after-school club, the latter of the two needing to be peeled off me. I tried to speak to Ms. Johnson as she recovered from her post-baking daze.

“I don’t know why she still sticks to me like that,” I commented. I knew that it was unprofessional to pick favourites, but I would be lying if I said that my day wasn’t improved by Eva and her sister’s presence.

“You know why- they both adore you,” Ms. Johnson responded as she began collecting her things.

“But I don’t know why they ‘adore’ me, though. I don’t get it- what have I done that you haven’t?”

Ms. Johnson smiled and folded her arms, having seemingly recovered from the trauma of having to carry out the same, thirty-minute baking activity for seven hours. “It’s because you’re too soft with them, Dave. You let them get away with anything.”

I felt a warmth overtake my face as I looked away from my colleague. It took a moment for me to compose myself, but I managed it and turned back to Ms. Johnson to protest. “Have you seen those eyes? Tell me that you can say ‘no’ when you look into them.”

“I can.”

“Well, I bloody can’t.”

I left it at that. Looking back, I don’t know why I sounded so serious while I was explaining myself. But I had- and now I’d accidentally led the conversation into a more uncomfortable territory. Luckily, Ms. Johnson was happy to change the subject.

“You’re working tonight, yeah? Want a lift?”

“Yeah, cheers. There’s no way I’m missing out on £11 an hour.”

During the day, I worked with young children who needed guidance in order to learn how to be good people. During the evenings, however, I had to deal with those who did not learn how to be good people: customers. Specifically, the rude and the ignorant. The twin evils of ridiculous questions and self-entitlement often reared their ugly heads on the shop floor and that never failed to raise my blood pressure.

You would’ve thought that working with literal five-year-olds would’ve been more infuriating than my evening job, but something to remember is that some children just don’t know better. Upon working in a customer-oriented environment, however, it quickly becomes obvious that some people are just irredeemably dense.

Work was never particularly difficult, but people were infuriating to talk to; combine that with my day-job, and I don’t think I ever came home with any social energy left. I communicated with simple ‘hmm’s and ‘uh-huh’s as I moved through my dad’s house.

Even as I lethargically forced my way into the kitchen, my dad was still in pursuit, armed to the teeth with meagre small talk. I found the reason why my dad had persisted with trying to talk to me as I found the source of his pride: a group of yogurt pots that were haphazardly bound with clingfilm.

“I got those for 99p- did you see that?” my dad piped up once I’d closed the fridge. To be honest, I wasn’t interested in what he wanted to say in the slightest, but I decided to humour him and see what all the fuss was about.

“You sound like you’ve scored from the halfway line or summat. But all you’ve actually done is looked like an absolute arse and only saved a quid.”

“It wasn’t my fault. Some teenager who didn’t care about his job at the supermarket ruined a good pack of yogurt and I took advantage.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the genuine pride in my dad’s voice. He’s such an arse.

“…I don’t give a shit about my job either, to be honest-”

“-And it was the deaf woman serving me as well.”

My dad was really piling it on now.

“Were you trying to tell her the correct price?”

And I wasn’t helping.

“She was having a perfectly good conversation with the bloke in front of me, I’ll have you know.”

“Are you sure she’s deaf, then, if she can chat to everyone other than you?”

“She had no bloody clue about half of what he was saying.”

“Well, that’s not that bad if she got the other half of it. Maybe she doesn’t like talking to you.”

“I’m not that unapproachable.”

“Our family doesn’t really have anything to say anyway.”

We carried this mildly offensive conversation on for a short while until I’d had enough, with me announcing my desire to go to bed. My dad was working the following morning, so I wasn’t going to see him until I got back from school. So, I wished him goodnight and disappeared upstairs.

Life wasn’t anything to particularly shout about, but it was comfortable and I was finally getting to where I wanted to be. As I stood in front of my bathroom mirror that night, I stared intently at the man who looked back, noticing a faint shimmer of life and excitement in those blue eyes. Not too long ago I would’ve said something along the lines of ‘I haven’t felt like that for years’.

My thoughts moved from my class to my friends, and then to the advancement of my studies once I finished my second year of university. “One day I’ll stop playing catch-up,” I muttered to himself as I washed my face. I’d worked bloody hard to get to where I was, and I had no interest in making any unnecessary changes in my life. As it turned out, though, the changes in my life were now well outside of my control.

“…The sun’s out again today, isn’t it? We really have been blessed with its presence…”

It was just another Thursday that followed just another Wednesday. Thankfully, I didn’t work on Thursdays, so I was able to savour the sunlight and take a well-earned walk home. I used this extra time to consider my future. It may have been early to think about, but where would I end up going next year? Would the next school give me more opportunities to lead the class? How was I supposed to say goodbye to Eve and Eva? I pondered these questions before being distracted by something.

I hadn’t ventured that far from the school gates before a confrontation caught my eye. Next to a set of berry bushes, Eve was locked in a confrontation with someone who I didn’t recognise. Why she and Eva were on their own while talking to this person was a mystery, as was the identity of this woman. It couldn’t have been the girls’ mother- I knew that for certain- but she didn’t look particularly threatening. That didn’t mean much, though.

The instant my mind processed what was going on, I found an unnatural urge to intervene. Even then, though, I was worried that I was getting into a situation that I didn’t understand and that I was moments away from creating a problem that was far more trouble than it was worth.

In a way, I was right.

But I couldn’t have known that at the time. I approached the confrontation to try and defuse the situation and see what was going on. “Excuse me, madam?” I asked as I approached the trio. “Do you know these two girls?”. I gestured towards the two sisters, who turned in the direction of my voice. Once they saw that the voice belonged to me, they immediately made a retreat, with Eva adopting her usual place at my side.

I grew confused as to why there was a notable lack of any reactions from people in the general vicinity, as this situation began to look more and more like an attempted abduction. I mean, this was happening inches from a school- surely somebody would’ve noticed. Yet, there was no reaction, like it was taking place in front of blind eyes.

The woman before me initially said nothing. Instead, she offered a warm smile and locked eyes with me before simply stating:

“Of course not. I was merely searching for you, young one.”

Her word choice could’ve used some work, but her voice was warm and inviting in ways that I could never describe. As the warmth from her voice and her words washed over me, I became unable to focus on anything else- even as the ground beneath me began to open. It sounds bizarre- and it was. It should’ve been terrifying, even. But the woman’s voice was always there, soothing my mind with its gentle cadence.

I can barely recall the faint cries from those two sisters entering my headspace as we were all forcefully separated. I had no idea what they were saying or how long they spoke for. I’d forgotten their names at that point.

Their voices lingered, disappeared, then reappeared, then disappeared again- but they never fully left my mind- even as I disappeared into the warm light below.

Chapter 12: A Quick One While He's Away

Earlier that morning, as David tended to his wounds around a burned-out campfire, Twilight was on the move with a plan of action. Well, ‘plan’ may have been the wrong word to use. Rather, she stood at the doors of Canterlot Castle in a slight daze, catching her breath from a hurried journey that apparently required her ‘immediate input’.

This must have been to do with the human- Twilight was sure of it. It had to be; it was surely no coincidence that she received a letter from the princess the day after David had been sent away. And if the situation required her immediately…

Her mind span with a myriad of possible dire situations; problems that she would no doubt need to solve. She stayed like this for longer than she realised, to the point where the slight trembling in her legs was no longer from her abused muscles, but instead from a nervous anticipation.

She was like this from time-to-time, according to her assistant, Spike, who had decided against getting involved. A spa day was seemingly long overdue and the whereabouts of this random creature paled in comparison to his claw massage. Before he left, he made sure to give Twilight an earful about how she was likely overreacting again.

Still, that did not matter right now as Twilight entered Celestia’s throne room. All that mattered was what the princess had to say. Twilight knew this, yet, rather than allow the princess to explain the situation properly, she instead decided that the best course of action was to open with a bombardment of questions.

“What is it, Princess? Is he okay? Where is he? This is about him, isn’t it? Y’know: the human who-”

Well versed in her former student’s quirks, Celestia held up a single forehoof to signal the end of her questions. That understanding appeared to be mutual as Twilight brought an end to her interrogation and lowered herself onto her haunches in the centre of the throne room.

“I am sure that you have your questions, Twilight,” Celestia began, accompanied by a frantic nod from her former student. “But your friend is perfectly fine. He is making good progress and I would guess that he will be home by tonight. His reach is boundless; even from where he is, he is still able to comfort his foals in their dreams. I have no worries with his progress.”

“Dreams? Isn’t that Princess Luna’s job?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Indeed, it is. Even so, my sister has informed me that his intervention saved her a night of work. As helpful as he was, my sister noted how his foals struggled to function without a suitable guardian.”

Twilight stared at her superior, her face scrunched up in a slight frown as she caught on to where this conversation was likely headed.

“It reminded me of how his foals are likely suffering in his absence. So, I ask that you take care of them until he gets back.”

“Me?! But I don’t know anything about human foals!” Twilight replied in exasperation. Her previous bout of overthinking overtook her again as she looked back at Celestia as if she had just been told that the world was ending. “I’ve checked every book in my library eighteen times- not a single mention of humans anywhere!”

“I understand that you may have reservations about taking care of someone else’s foals, but this a good opportunity for you to learn more about human behaviour– and they would really benefit from having somepony to be with right now. Somepony more knowledgeable than most.”

As if to accentuate her point, Celestia pulled out a small book from behind her back and levitated it towards Twilight, who reached out for it desperately with her hooves. The purple alicorn gratefully accepted the gift, holding it tightly against her torso. “But why me?” she insisted. “Aren’t they happy here?”

“They lack somepony who they are comfortable with. But you know them- you have spent time with them before. I see nopony else who is more suited for this.”

This made sense on a surface level, although Twilight was unsure about whether her experiences with the children were indeed positive ones. She was sure that there must have been somepony else who was more qualified. She struggled to think of something to say as she found herself being drawn into the idea.

“It is in our best interests that his foals are kept as comfortable as possible.”

This final line seemed to be the killing blow to Twilight’s resistance. Never one to stand up to the princess, she averted her gaze and shifted in an agitated fashion.

“If you think it’ll help…”

“I knew that I could count on you, Twilight,” Celestia happily stated, rising from her seat and ushering her former student towards where Eve and Eva waited. Twilight could only hope that the two were in a kind mood once she reached them.

Twilight nearly missed the door to the girls’ bedroom due to the lack of activity behind it. She would have assumed that a room containing two unsupervised children would have been audible from miles away- yet she was clearly mistaken. The lifelessness was shown further upon entering the room, where the two girls sat wordlessly, looking through a small picture book.

They were hidden away in the corner that lay furthest from the door, easily missed and left alone. As Eve idly flicked one of the pages, she struggled to move her arm fully as her sister rested upon it, refusing to break physical contact. Even to a relative stranger, Twilight could feel the dour atmosphere as it seeped into her fur.

It was a pathetic sight, and Twilight felt great sympathy when gazing upon it. For these girls to be left alone in a world that they could never hope to understand…

Twilight thought to herself in that moment, reaching into her memories of raising Spike. Numerous occasions of the dragon’s difficulties in understanding the world around him forced themselves to the forefront of the mare’s mind, causing her to frown. She remembered how he had felt back then, finding motivation in her bittersweet reflection.

With her memories came her instincts as she stepped forward to greet the pair, invigorated by a new desire to help these girls- even if it was just for the day. Upon closing the distance between her and the pair significantly, Twilight looked down upon them and cleared her throat. “Hey girls,” she started with an uneasy grin.

“Shh. We’re reading,” Eve answered, placing a finger to her lips. Beside her, Eva responded by gripping her sister’s arm more tightly.

“You girls are probably really bored right now,” Twilight commented, undeterred. After she received no more than a stare in reply, the alicorn continued. “So… I thought that we could have some fun in Ponyville while we wait for David to come back.”

“Where is Mr. Bayard? Did he come back yet?!” Eve shouted excitedly as she forced herself upright. She did so at such a speed that Eva was caught off guard, falling over herself as she fought to keep hold of her sister.

“He’s doing great!” Twilight replied with forced gusto as she did her best to dodge the question. “I heard from the princess that he’ll be back later today.”

“But where is he?” Eve persisted. “Why isn’t he back yet?” She stood up as she asked, closing the distance between herself and Twilight. She put on a brave face, as she stared deeply into Twilight’s eyes, hoping to find answers within the purple orbs.

“Wherever he is, I’m sure that he misses you,” Twilight reassured, taking a step back from the girl’s forceful stare. At the mention of this, however, Eve’s expression noticeably softened as she also backed away.

“I miss him too…” the raven-haired girl lamented. Behind her, Eva nodded her head slightly, chewing on one of her fingers as she did so. “But we saw him last night! When we were asleep- didn’t we, Eva?” Eve pulled the girl in question into a hug, who nodded enthusiastically in response, allowing her face to show off a fragile smile. “And I kissed him!”

“You kissed him?” Twilight asked- more out of confusion than anything else. She dreaded to think of an occasion in which this could’ve occurred, silently cursing the girl for her overshare.

“Yeah- but he got angry. Said that I shouldn’t’ve done it. But it was funny!”

The throwaway comment left Twilight rather flustered as she lacked an appropriate response. She looked at the two sisters as they waited in an awkward silence.

“Are we going somewhere?” Eve asked after the silence became too difficult for her to bear. She grabbed her sister and moved towards their bags, much to Twilight’s relief. A light yet audible sigh was Twilight’s only response as phase 1 of the mare’s plan was complete.

“Are we using the train? Eva doesn’t like flying.”

It was all fine and good for Twilight to take the girls under her wing for the day. However, standing inside a small study near the entrance of her home, she became painfully aware that she hid simply swapped one castle with another.

“So… what are we supposed to do?” Eve asked Twilight, emphasising the mare’s point. “There’s nothing to do.” She set her and her sister’s bags down before heading back out into the hallway. She stared down the corridor, longing for some sort of person or event to capture her interest. This was unlikely to happen, not that she knew much about probability, as a tug on her arm reminded her whose company she was in at that moment.

“I think we should take it easy for a little while,” Twilight replied, releasing her magical grip on the little girl. She would have liked to have taken a moment to settle the girls in, although their apparent explorative nature made her believe that this was unlikely. “I’m here for you. What do you girls want to do?”

“Hmm…” Eve mused as she placed a finger on her cheek and looked back out into the hall. “I wanna go explore.”

It did not take Eve too long to come to a decision- and it took an even shorter amount of time to put that plan into motion. Without looking back, she jumped out into the hallway and set off in a random direction with her sister in tow.

“Wait- stop…!”

So, off they went. Tearing through the castle hallways, the two sisters darted from room to room in a search for something interesting. Unfortunately for the girls, Twilight never got around to decorating much of her castle, leaving each room in its bare (albeit, still aesthetically pleasing) state- fresh out of the box. There were still beds to clamber all over, at least.

“Don’t break anything!”

They moved at a breakneck pace that could never have ensured that they were able to adequately explore any room that they found themselves in. Scattershot, erratic; their movements were difficult for Twilight to track. The princess only caught up to the pair once they had worn themselves out and sought refuge in one of the castle’s many bedrooms.

“I… I’m tired… I need a moment,” Eve struggled to say in between ragged breaths. She placed her hands on her knees and forced down several gulps of air.

“Really?” Eva innocently asked. “You just need to run more. You don’t go that slow.” She placed her hands on her hips and looked down proudly upon her winded sister.

“Oh, yeah…? I’ll race you…” Eve struggled to strike back. Struggling to find her words alongside her breaths, she leaned on the more composed form of her sister, inverting the pair’s usual power dynamic.

“We just raced just then,” Eva reasoned, placing her hands on Eve’s shoulders. “But if you want to race again, we can-”

Eva would’ve continued speaking, but she stiffened up once she heard the door behind her open, revealing an only-mildly annoyed Twilight. The princess came through the door quietly, carrying the girl’s bags with her magic as she entered.

“You’re going to get hurt if you keep running around like that,” Twilight reasoned as she softly closed the door behind her. “And it was nice to hear your voice, too, Eva.”

Twilight approached the child and looked into her eyes whilst smiling warmly. Eva responded by staring back at the mare, the mare watching as the girl’s eyes grew ever more fearful throughout their prolonged eye contact.

Whilst that was happening, Eve took it upon herself to rummage through her bag for her trusty colouring set before lying down on one of the spare beds and getting to work. She tore a page out of one of her drawing books and lay down on a bed on the far side of the room, drawing over the picture that had been printed onto the page.

“Oh, you just want to draw?” Twilight asked after removing her eyes from Eva’s. Eva silently confirmed this as she moved to occupy the other side of the bed, wishing to join in with her sister’s drawing.

“I want to make a big drawing for Mr. Bayard,” Eve stated matter-of-factly as she looked up from her work. “I want him to be proud.” There was a certain fragility to that statement, as well as the smile behind it, but Twilight didn’t seem to mind. If anything, the so-so sense of compassion that the girl possessed gave Twilight a spark of her own.

“Girls, I can get you something bigger than that piece of paper,” the princess started. The two sisters looked up at her, unsure yet wishing to know more. “I’ve probably got some old scrolls lying around here somewhere for you to draw on.”

As she spoke, she levitated a large roll of paper from an unknown location. There was no time for the girls to wonder where the roll came from as they stared at the material that was placed in front of them. It felt grainy to the touch and was slightly discoloured, yet it offered much more space than what the girls were used to, offering up new possibilities for them to explore.

Eve snatched the scroll as it was levitated towards her, inspecting it more closely. She grabbed a crayon and gave the paper an experimental scribble. The colour wasn’t quite as prominent on this new surface, but it reminded Eve of using chalk on tarmac- which gave her an idea.

“Eva, Eva, Eva!” Eve exclaimed to the girl in question, waving her hand about in the girl’s face. “I’ve got a plan!”

A brief discussion between the pair followed, consisting of hushed whispers and occasional glances towards the mare on the fringes. Twilight, on her part, awkwardly stood to the side and waited for the discussion to end, even as both sisters snuck short, sneaky looks at the princess in order to check that she stayed a suitable distance away.

The huddle broke quickly and without warning as the pair set to work on their creation. They both separated sections of the scroll and got to work, crayons ablaze, creating a series of smaller pictures in their own, juvenile style.

With those two occupied, Twilight pulled herself to one side as the girls would work better if they were left to their own devices. At least, that’s what she told herself. “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything…” she softly called out as she closed the door behind her and headed down the castle stairs. Now that she had some time on her hooves, she was able to get to work and find out more about what humans actually were.

Twilight had always lamented the apparent sparseness of her castle’s library- and now, she may have had a reason to. She was regretting her lack of action with replacing the books that were destroyed alongside her previous home as the selection in front of her was far less expansive than she would have liked. Still, there was work to be done and there were always books to be found. Much more so, as she placed her present from Celestia on a desk in front of her.

“Now, what have we here?” the mare muttered to herself as her eyes hungrily scanned the book’s front cover. “‘Mythical Beasts and Where They Were Found’?”

The book before her resembled an encyclopaedia of sorts, showcasing a variety of creatures that she struggled to recognise. Some creatures she had heard of; some she thought were simply preposterous. She flipped through the pages until she found what she was looking for.

“Aha- humans! Let’s see here…”

It seemed that David was not the first human to have graced Equestria- or, at least, his kind had previously existed in some shape or form. Even if they had existed before, the information available now was as sparce as the humans no doubt were, and not all of it was to Twilight’s liking.

“Hmm… ‘a witless and uninspiring creature that practises self-loathing and immoral acts of perversion… quick to anger yet ultimately subservient to those it secretly wishes to dominate… territorial and violent to a worrying degree’? ‘Unappealing to those of us who are blessed with the gift of sight’?!”

Beside this block of text was a crude sketch that seemed to be a bastardised depiction of a human and its physical features, with dark overgrown hair, a jagged facial structure and a set of teeth that looked out of place on a creature with a conscience. Twilight looked down upon the image, wondering why this depiction was so negative and frankly distressing to look at. She could only imagine how David would have felt, had he been with her to see it.

The whole chapter was written in a slightly sardonic tone as if it was written by someone who just wanted to rush through it and finish it as soon as possible. The subjective delivery frustrated Twilight, who huffed slightly as she continued to read.

“There’s gotta be something better than this.”

She tossed the book to one side and made a mental note to ask Celestia if she had any other books that would be more helpful. Still, maybe it wasn’t worth discarding the information entirely; it must have had some relevance. With this in mind, she picked the book up again.

“Violent, witless, trading a conscience for bloodlust: what did humans do to you?” the aggrieved mare asked the book’s cover, looking for the name of the author. There was none, so she flung the book across the room, enjoying the loud smack it made when it hit the floor. Despite this minor feeling of satisfaction, she felt herself sigh as she turned back towards her pile of books.

“Well, that was a bust. Surely there’s something…”

If you were to ask Twilight how long she spent fixatedly searching through her library’s contents, she would likely be unable to give an answer. Worryingly dedicated to her research, she barely even noticed when a small voice floated through the library door.

“Um… Miss?” came the voice of Eve as she wearily stepped into the library, stumbling through the disorganised piles of books that surrounded the transfixed princess. Eventually, the girl’s words found space in Twilight’s mind as she raised her head and remembered her main responsibility.

“Sweet Celestia!”

Twilight jolted upright and charged her horn, teleporting onto Eve’s exact location. Her sudden appearance caused Eve to fall backwards before being caught and hoisted upright by the mare’s magic.

“I’m really sorry!” Twilight exclaimed as she hovered a few feet above the little girl. “I was just looking through some books and I lost track of time and-”

“-Can you help us with something? We need some help,” Eve interrupted, undeterred. Her deadpan delivery brought Twilight back down to Earth, and the princess felt her face grow red as she grew embarrassed of her outburst towards the child.

“Oh, uh, of course! What do you need?”

“Come,” was all that Eve said in response as she bounded back to where she came from, uninterested in menial conversation. Twilight sighed to herself; at least she knew where the girl was going this time.

David would have been proud with the ease at which Eve was able to manoeuvre her way around the pillars and up the stairs- but Twilight certainly was not. Eve may have lacked the speed of her sister, but she was still difficult to keep a hold of. Resultingly, Twilight found it necessary to teleport to the girl’s location, stopping the girl in her tracks and giving the mare a chance to reassert her authority.

“Please calm down,” the mare all-but beseeched the child before her. A pair of blue eyes stared back at her blankly, forming an expression that refused to reveal any enthusiasm.

“Come,” Eve said again, squirming underneath the mare and pushing through the door in front of her. Allowing Twilight to enter after her, she revealed a large drawing that stretched from one side of the bed to the other before spilling onto the floor. No part of the paper was left unmarked as it filled the room, threatening to stretch from wall to wall.

The girls had taken full advantage of the generous amount of scroll that they were given, several drawings being scruffily scribbled out and drawn over, only to be scribbled out again. Crude and haphazard in its execution, it all looked like a bit of a mess to Twilight, who struggled to piece together what she was looking at.

“I didn’t think I was gone for that long…” the mare muttered to herself as she gazed upon the artwork in confusion.

“What?” Eve replied bluntly, not having left the bewildered mare’s side. Her question startled Twilight slightly, causing her to jump back and fumble her words until she could form a complete sentence.

“Uh… how’s the picture coming along?”

Twilight looked over at Eva as she asked this, who, unlike her sister, remained on the bed, crayon still in hand. Even after the two had made eye contact, neither said anything, creating an unwelcome staring contest that neither side had the awareness to break.

“It’s to a certain quality…” Eve replied slowly as she thought of the correct words to say. “But it needs…something.” She walked back towards her work, tracing a finger over a likely more recent part of her picture. Behind her, Eva nodded slightly in approval, happy to no longer be the victim of Twilight’s stare.

“Like what?” the mare replied with a gentle smile. “I can help you find it if I have it.”

“Like, like, like…” Eve started, looking off to the side and occasionally sneaking glances up at the princess, looking to Twilight as if the correct words to say were shaved into the mare’s fur. With a loud gasp and a barely audible click of her fingers, Eve raised her head in her own little ‘light bulb’ moment.

“Berries!”

“Berries?”

“Berries!”

Eve’s enthusiasm was resounding; it had been so long since Twilight had heard her speak in such an animated way. It was a shame, then, that the little girl would need to be brought back down to Earth.

“We don’t have many berries,” Twilight admitted, much to the sisters’ disappointment. “Would any other fruit do?”

Such a simple question caused much discussion between the two sisters as they thought of an alternative. Admittedly, the majority of the ‘much discussion’ was dedicated to actually thinking of any fruits- let alone considering the suitability of them. But a decision was eventually made, and Eve cleared her throat and puffed her chest out as she addressed her audience.

“We have come to a decision,” the raven-haired girl began before pausing to build tension. “…Apples!”

“Apples?”

“Apples!”

It appeared that this minor setback had done little to dissuade Eve’s enthusiasm. This time, however, Twilight was able to reciprocate. “This one I can help you with!” she exclaimed. “There’s an apple orchard not too far from here. D’you wanna go get some apples?”

Eva gave a short nod while looking back at her sister, only responding when she had removed Twilight from her vision. The meekness of her reply did little to dissuade Eve, who showed an increasing level of enthusiasm as she turned back towards her pseudo-guardian.

“Okay!” Eve declared with a miniature salute. “Take me to the apples, Miss!”

“Okay- we’re going to Sweet Apples Acres!” Twilight announced as she reciprocated the call to arms with a hover. As emboldened as she was, Twilight allowed herself to drop back down as she lowered the tone. “Oh, and you don’t need to call me ‘Miss’. My name is Twilight Spark-”.

“-Let’s go!” Eve announced, now reconnected to her sister. They both headed for the door, now capable of finding their way back down to the castle’s entrance.

“Wait! You don’t even know where it is!” the princess called out to no avail. Two increasingly distant figures headed out towards the town, turning away from the general location of the apple orchard. She could not help but sigh at the sight.

“You girls are gonna kill me.”

Chapter 26: The Smartest Human in Equestria

The morning sun rose- but my mood didn’t. I’d made it back inside after my argument with Twilight, yet I’d found no comfort from the mattress below me; it was a different softness to which I was longing for. I’d forgotten about her departure in the darkness of my nightly slumber, but her absence prevented me from truly feeling the morning sun on my skin once I woke. Even that golden light felt muted and incapable of lighting any flame.

I’d tried to keep my emotions hidden from the little ones. They weren’t even here anyway; instead of being within their needy embrace, I was randomly sat in a random room with random-arse Prince Blueblood. It was just my luck; if there was ever a pony who could help ease this emotional burden, it was surely him.

And he’d started off strong. The room we were in wasn’t exactly large, but the prince mockingly grinned at me from the other side of it, making me feel as if he was miles away. “I cannot believe what kind of show you put on last night- and to Globe Trot, no less,” he had declared with his typical sardonic sheen.

I balled my right hand into a fist while the prince laid out his declaration. Luckily for both of us, I was too spent to even stand up, let alone actually swing at the guy, so I kept my head down. “How was I supposed to know that he was so important?” I questioned the prince, who sat himself further upright in the corner of my downturned vision.

“Because he was part of the Gala. They don’t just let anypony in there, you know.”

I snuck a quick peak at Blueblood as he gave his reasoning. As expected, he was as smug as can be, having decided to recline into his seat in a demonstration of the decadent royal that he was always doomed to be. Sadly though, he was the only pony in which I could confide. “How did all that happen last night?”

The prince took a moment, utilising the silence in an attempt to get me to raise my head. Once I did, he soon replied, “Because you’re violent, witless and you trade a conscience for bloodlust.”

“Yeah, how about you go fuck yourself? No one else around here will,” I immediately fired back. Despite the speed of my retort, there was no enthusiasm or quick wit involved, and my voice sunk to the floor moments before it reached the prince, my bitter protestations lifelessly pooling at his hooves.

From Blueblood’s reaction, it seemed that my own was disappointing to him. He said nothing, and the expression he chose to display was impossible for me to read. “You’re supposed to say, ‘I’m joking’ after something like that,” I commented to break the silence, only to find no reprieve once my coaxing ebbed away to nothing more than faint echoes. “…I don’t even remember doing it.”

“That’ll be the alcohol.”

Such a lacklustre summary was irritating to me. In truth, I hated it far more when the prince sat on the fence, and in the short time I’d known him, he regularly seemed reluctant to do so. If this was his version of a ‘softer side’, then he may even like me at this point.

“There must be something in the water around here,” I concluded with a large sigh, not that it contributed to anything. Realistically, I was just afraid of any more silence, given how suffocating those periods have been recently. Then again, my attempts at jovial conversation haven’t exactly been stellar either.

And all of this waiting wasn’t for my benefit. Rather than going on about my day in peace, I was forced to sit here and wait for Celestia to show up so that she could demonstrate how much of a bad little boy I’d been. Don’t look too heavily into that.

So, here we are. Blueblood wasn’t looking any less smug, though he hadn’t gone in on me as much as I’d expected. Actually, he hadn’t even moved, such was his relaxed nature at that moment. He must’ve felt very comfy in his little ivory tower.

“My advice next time would be to hit him harder. He deserves as much after last month’s summit,” the prince informed me, having suddenly taken extra interest in the conversation. It appeared that these two had history, and Blueblood must’ve been weak at the knees just thinking about that stallion’s nose being broken in three places.

I’ll admit: his enthusiasm was interesting to me. “And you think I’m going to do it again?” I bluntly enquired, although this appeared to douse the flames of violence rather than fan them.

“I would recommend against being so brash. You would have more to answer for if it weren’t for Celestia and I.”

This confused me. I hadn’t seen Blueblood at all last night, and he struck me as a stallion who was averse to doing anything without being at the centre of proceedings. “Then, what’s Celestia done about all this?”

“She’s the reason why you’re here today,” the prince succinctly answered, quickly losing his outward composure.

“And what the fuck have you done about it?”

“Enough.”

It seemed that I’d hit a nerve, demonstrated by Blueblood getting out of his seat and moving closer to me. Granted, all he did upon reaching his destination was sit his fat arse back down, but it was still something worth mentioning. To be honest, I couldn’t tell if the prince’s reply was him curtly answering my question or just telling me to shut up.

I had my suspicions that this was the case, yet it only took one amused scoff to reset the prince back to a more jovial setting. “You know that Aunty Tia will still give you a public dressing down for this,” he happily mentioned, as if I wasn’t perfectly aware of this inevitability.

“Better a public humiliation than a public execution. I’m sure you’ve done worse.”

“There may well have been an execution- if not for your marefriend last night,” the prince continued as he prattled on, surely aware of my disengagement from the conversation. “From the way you carry yourself, I imagine that you two aren’t on good terms?”

Whether he’d intended it or not- and on the basis of everything we know so far, he likely did- Blueblood’s discussion of a certain someone wore me down much more than I was expecting. So much so, that my eyes went back to being glued to the floor as I felt the urge to seep through the cracks between the tiles.

“Did you talk at all last night?” Blueblood continued, noticeably intrigued by my sustained silence. In the corner of my eye, I watched him examine my sorry state, before sitting back for the umpteenth time. “You really do deny her the opportunity of wading through the mud with you.”

I tried to see the brighter side of the prince’s comments. Honestly, I did. But this was too soon, and I subconsciously shifted everything down a more negative path. “Oh yeah. Let me get a moral lecture from Count Unspectacular: the sex-fiend-turned-user-and-abuser.”

“I’m not the one who exhibited a moral failing in the middle of the castle ballroom,” Blueblood coldly reminded me, having rediscovered some of the edge in his voice. Again, I probably should’ve seen this as a sign to stay away from the insults, but I found myself unable to stop.

“Yeah, your personality lights up any room once you walk out of it; I was bringing some sense of urgency to you rich arseholes…”

With this, I swung my arms in front of me and used the momentum from it to force myself to my feet. Having reached my limit with sitting around, I lethargically slumped over to the door and pressed my face against it. Unfortunately, there was even less comfort to be found there, so I slid down the wooden surface until I felt my knees touch the floor.

Once I’d reestablished myself as part of the floorboards, I heard Blueblood saunter over until he set himself down in the seat that I’d just occupied. Granted, I hadn’t moved very far, so this was likely just him closing the gap. Nevertheless, he had a lot to say.

“Just for one moment, throw away your assumptions about class or wealth or appearance. Cast aside all of those stereotypes that you’re using as a replacement for genuine dialogue and fucking talk to me like I mean something to you.”

I unenthusiastically glanced over my shoulder in light of Blueblood’s outburst. Naturally, I was unimpressed, but there was something more to his voice than there was usually. Perhaps. A quick scan of his face confirmed to me that this was the case, and that frown only increased as he carried on.

“Yes: I admit that I haven’t presented myself in the best light recently, but can you honestly say that the inverse is true for yourself? The way you came into this world doesn’t matter; you have been trusted by the princesses to do your duty, and yet, here you are throwing arrows and accusations at anypony who dares come too close. From that perspective, you’re far worse than I am.”

My immediate answer to this was a laboured sigh. When it’s convenient, I hate the ‘glass houses’ argument, so I fought the urge to scoff at the prince just as he’d done to me. Given everything that had happened in the last twelve hours, much of my energy was devoted to staying awake.

“You have no cynical comeback at-the-ready. This is progress,” Blueblood announced, loud enough to keep me awake for a little while longer.

Despite this apparent character progression, I was at a loss. “Well, what do I do then?”

“You take your punishment like a good colt and then you disappear for a few days,” the prince bluntly replied, as if the answer was slightly too obvious. “And take those two with you- they may as well see the sights.”

I chuckled slightly at this. “Well, if we compare our actual time in this place, I’m not that much more experienced with the world than they are,” I mused, having tuned the slovenly prince out of my conversation with myself.

Yet, this was never to be tolerated by Blueblood. “And with the same amount of emotional intelligence to-boot,” he cynically added. I glared at him for a moment, but the whole thing really wasn’t worth the energy.

“And now you’re silent once more. I swear, if humans couldn’t speak, then there’s a chance that you’d be the smartest human in Equestria.”

Celestia gave me a chewing- in front of an eager crowd, no less. She’d made a good show of it too, getting all fired up like that with accusations of besmirchment and whatever. She could’ve smiled less, though- it kinda took me out of the whole performance.

I was just happy that the little ones weren’t there to witness it. No, they’d been left to their own devices- which I really didn’t like, but I didn’t have much of a choice. There was little else that could be done without Twilight around, and I didn’t trust anybody else to be with them during the short time that I was gone.

But we’re all back where we should be- all safe and sound. Even before I’d re-entered the bedroom, miniature voices made themselves known to me, clearly excited about some unseen prize or treasure that had been recently discovered.

Upon entering, it was obvious as to what was the target of the girls’ enthusiasm: the white bag that Discord had left me with last night was on the floor, and its contents had been removed. More importantly, the two teddy bears previously within the bag seemed to be quite popular, as they were both being cradled by the pair of miscreants.

Instantly, my arrival was detected. “Mr. Bayard- look, look!” Eve proclaimed, charging into me and forcing one of the bears into my face. “Dale!”

What a bizarre name. “Dale?”

“Dale!” the little girl resoundingly confirmed with a small jump. “While you were gone, we looked in your bag-”

“-Which you shouldn’t’ve.”

“Which we shouldn’t’ve!” she repeated back to me in an instant, never losing her chipper attitude despite the slight admonishment. “And…an-an-and…”

It was clear that the little girl wanted to say a lot more than she did, but, given her level of excitement, speech was no longer the most efficient method of communication for her. Instead, she wordlessly thrust the bear into my face for a second time, which I accepted, hoping to give the girl’s mind some breathing room. “And you know this little guy?”

“He’s my best-friend-teddy-bear! How did you find him?”

“I…”

Now, this was a conundrum. I’d imagined that there were more convenient ways of explaining how I’d ‘found’ those bears rather than actually going through the night’s events, so something agreeable was probably best. “You know me- I never let you down,” I concluded, perhaps only sounding so smug in order to maintain a half-hearted attempt at being convincing. Discord, you dirty dog.

“An-a-a-an…”

I was brought away from my faux-self-assuredness by the sound of Eve’s words deserting her. Anyone looking upon her could easily discern just how hard she was trying to force her mind and her mouth to cooperate. The emergence of a pink tinge on her cheeks was the final straw for me, however, so I hoisted her up to inspect her further.

“Breathe, littlun,” I softly reminded my cargo before shifting my attention to the one in the background. “Ooh, and Eva- I see that you’ve got one of your own! Please take it out of your mouth, though; we don’t know where it’s been.”

With my free arm, I reached down and removed the second bear from Eva’s mouth and actively examined the one-eyed bundle of fluff. It wasn’t too dissimilar to the little ones in a way- ignoring the number of eyes: they were a little bit rough and unkempt, yet there was still a lot of love in there.

I would’ve liked to have remained so on-the-nose, but a pair of flailing arms preventing my thoughts from stretching any further. In any other circumstance, my reaction may’ve been more urgent, yet Eva’s stubby arms would never have been able to reach up to me anyway.

Still, it was clear what she wanted, so the bear was soon back within her control. She let out a loud hum of enjoyment when she could feel the fuzz again, so I wanted to keep that positivity train rolling. “I’m sure he’s got a name too, does- out your mouth, sweetie!”

Again, the bear was soon mine; I took special care to keep away from the obvious moisture on its left leg. Apart from that part, it seemed clean, but travelling between worlds was likely dirty business, so I felt justified in removing the thing once more- in spite of the distressed cries that I was receiving.

Eva was clearly upset by this, and I didn’t really know what to do next, so I took her sorrowful gaze as evidence enough that she’d adequately repented. Resultingly, the sodden bear was given back to its rightful owner, who gave me the answer I was longing for:

“Winter.”

“Well, Winter doesn’t want you sucking on his leg,” I calmly explained.

“She always does that,” Eve flatly informed me from her perch, thankfully not replicating her sister’s actions. I guess it was something- but my arms were getting tired.

“Look, we…” I began while placing Eve back onto the floor. “…Are going to Twilight’s parents’ house, and then-”

“-Why?”

“Because I need to ask some questions. But then…we’re going to the beach.”

My announcement proved to be very appealing to the duo, as a resulting screech of excitement filled the room. Granted, I would’ve been concerned by such a noise if I was listening in from another room, but it was all in good fun. I would’ve even allowed all the excited jumping about, had I not had a little bit more to say.

“Hey, hey, hey! But…only if we’re good at Twilight’s parents’ house. We go there, we come back, and then we go to the beach tomorrow- just so we have time to pack. Do we understand?”

I wasn’t expecting the best behaviour from the girls in the wake of their forthcoming excitement. In an upturn in fortune, however, I was delightfully surprised as they scampered back over to make themselves known, frantically nodding away in an apparent understanding. It was a sight that left me misty-eyed. I was so proud.

“Very quiet. I knew you two would get it.”

One final thing then. Frankly, the girls and I were ready to head out of town, but I needed something else first. As previously stated, I wanted to know what Twilight’s parents felt about all this- and perhaps if they were even willing to see me at all. There were a couple of loose ends there, after all.

Luckily for me, I had the memory of Twilight sniffing out her parents’ house burned into my psyche, so navigating there wasn’t too arduous. And so, with a couple of hardy smacks on Twilight’s mother’s front door, we were quickly in business as Mrs. Velvet soon appeared.

“Now, this is a surprise! I didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” the mare in question exclaimed, having far more pep in her step than I’d anticipated. I obviously couldn’t match it.

“Hi, Mrs. Velvet. I uh…can I come in for a quick chat?”

It brought me a great deal of shame to look upon the mare. Granted, I- hopefully- hadn’t disgraced the Sparkle family name (if there was one), but…I just cared about them, okay? You’re supposed to do that, aren’t you?

“Of course! How are things?”

And it was too late to back out now. The back-and-forth was underway- and the little ones were shuffling closer and closer to the door with every passing moment. “Yeah, I’ve just got a lot to think about,” I quietly answered, still failing to look anyone in the eye.

“No use doing it alone! Make yourself at home.”

Without missing a beat, Mrs. Velvet threw open her front door and ushered me inside. True to form, the girls lacked the need for such an invitation; they were already making themselves comfortable next to a selection of cushions in the corner by the time I was with them. I’d brought the bears, and the girls were happy to play with them, having helped themselves to a selection of cups and saucers in anticipation of a make-believe tea party.

I could feel my heartrate increase upon entering this somewhat familiar place. This was for nothing of course; the room was quiet in the absence of any extended family, and it should’ve been welcoming to me. I admired its simplicity, and the way it reminded me of the times when I used to visit my grandparents, but I wasn’t going to tell Mrs. Velvet that.

Speaking of which, the mare was waiting for me on the sofa with two cups of tea nearby; I pieced together that the second one was mine. “I’m surprised that you let me in,” I dully commented to her as I took my place at her side, only to be met with a blank expression that suggested that ‘pity’ was the wrong emotion to lead with. “Look, I’m sorry about last night…everything- all of it.”

My apology was met with the quiet sound of slurping as Mrs. Velvet slowly lay waste to her beverage. I decided to do the same as she replied, “The night got the best of all of us, dear. You weren’t the only pony to make some bad choices.”

Perhaps to reflect the mood, she sounded similarly subdued. It was strange to see her in this light, yet there was something else to her voice: that all-knowing, motherly charm, for lack of a better phrase. It brought me to immediate ease, although it also made my heart dully beat for the longing for my own mother.

From both this inner turmoil and the sense of shame that I just couldn’t shake, I kept my mouth shut. The tea was particularly handy in giving my mouth something to do while I processed things. Honestly, Mrs. Velvet’s ability to handwave (or the pony equivalent) such an ordeal was…I suppose the word ‘convenient’ would spring to mind, as it has done a few times now.

I was so preoccupied that I didn’t notice Night Light’s appearance. It was his voice that brought me back. “We didn’t see the incident in question,” the stallion thankfully noted, sinking into a chair just opposite from me. “But all of Canterlot knows of it now.”

“Yeah…”

I don’t know what I’d expected, but this felt like one of the worst-case scenarios. Given this, I was surprised that I hadn’t been confronted about it on the way here, but I was likely so tunnel visioned that I probably wouldn’t have even noticed.

“Aww, don’t feel too bad. Ponies get hurt sometimes- and you did it for your foal,” Mrs. Velvet reminded me while rubbing a hoof over my shoulder. The mention of Eve caused me to glance over at the little one, who gave me an eager grin and a wave before returning to her activity.

“Where’s your trademark bite? I miss it already.”

I was brought back to Mrs. Velvet in the wake of her remark. Turning back to her, I noticed that she was much closer than before, and the small signs of age on her face made her frown appear much more purposeful. “My ‘trademark bite’ caused me a bit of grief last night, after the whole ballroom thing,” I replied- only because I felt like I had to.

Having said my piece, I returned to my cup and saucer. There were only so many times that I could do this before I ran out tea, but the start is always harder than the end. At least it gave me the opportunity to wordlessly focus on Mrs. Velvet, as the realisation over what I’d said slowly dawned on her. “That explains why you’re here.”

“What did you say?” Night Light softly asked me. His question was far from an accusation, and the levelheadedness that both ponies displayed told me that they were in a much better state than I was.

“I didn’t say a lot, but I definitely gave off the impression that I’m uncaring about what she’s doing. What hurts is that she didn’t even do anything back; she just left.”

Despite how negative I was feeling, the pair of parents listened along, seemingly more relaxed. “That’s our babba. She’s never liked conflict,” Night Light proudly declared with a comforted smile, and my lips felt the urge to make the same shape.

“Just give her time to warm up again. She’ll come back to you,” Mrs. Velvet warmly explained while resuming her stroking of my shoulder.

The pampering brought me limited comfort, but I still felt somewhat underwhelmed with this closure. It was ironic in that sense: even here, I felt as if I hadn’t said enough. “But any anger towards me would’ve been easier to analyse,” I mumbled to myself. Despite its volume, Mrs. Velvet clearly heard it, as she let out a laugh that could only be made after years of experience.

“Oh, she’ll lose her rag with you someday, hun. All mares do it.”

The mare’s positivity was infectious; such simple words did wonders for coaxing me out. “Isn’t there anything I can do in the meantime?” I quickly asked, hoping for some sort of push in the right direction.

“Keep thinking of her, and think about what you’ll say when you see her again. I’ll bet my last bit that she’s thinking the same thing,” Night Light reassured me; I could imagine him with one of those old smoking pipes whenever he said stuff like that.

His answer was helpful in calming me down. Even so, I was still low, given how Twilight wasn’t actually here. “I really wanted to see her before I left. I had more hope than expectation that she’d be with you,” I concluded with a sigh.

My comment seemed to intrigue Night Light. “You’re leaving?”

“Not for good. Princess Celestia knows I’m at my wit’s end, so she’s given me the week off. She’s probably hoping that I just disappear.”

Further interest was aroused at this, shown by Mrs. Velvet reestablishing herself in the conversation. “Do you have anywhere in mind?” she enquired, having finally left my shoulder alone.

“Flankerton Beach. I hear it’s lovely this time of year,” I answered simply.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! Be sure to carry some sunscreen!”

The mare clapped her forehooves together in a juvenile expression of excitement as she sang her reply. As one parent showed jubilation on my behalf, Night Light remained more grounded, offering, “It should be quiet, too- if that’s important to you.”

It most certainly was. I could think of nothing worse than being on display for passers-by after what’d just transpired. In a slightly backwards sort of thinking, I needed an opportunity to pretend that these ponies weren’t even here, as much as I liked a select few of them.

“I really have been miserable for a while now, and we’re all feeling it,” I admitted before pointing to the teddy bears’ picnic in the corner. “Those two aren’t getting anything from this, being locked away as they are. They need to get out- and so do I. We’ll all be better for it.”

“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” Night Light softly yet resoundingly stated, looking me in the eyes with an intensity that I wasn’t accustomed to experiencing.

This was only for a moment, thankfully, as Mrs. Velvet fulfilled what must’ve been a daily tradition of groping her husband. “Don’t be so serious!” she playfully chastised the…poor stallion before pointing one of her tainted hooves back at me. “Just have fun, mister- forget about all this mess!”

The prevailing feeling that I had at that moment was that now was the time to go. “Thank you. I really do appreciate it,” I warmly stated to the couple, who dropped whatever they were doing in preparation of seeing me off. “I should probably go pack.”

I turned away from the married couple and focused on the little ones as they continued to play. There were so many words to use to describe the activity: complex, imaginative- maybe even compassionate- yet also temporary. I’d need to think of a way of telling them that they couldn’t do that all the time for much longer.

But not before a pair of hooves were gently shoved into my lower back. “Make haste, young man! And don’t fret about Twily; she’ll be begging for you to come home early,” Mrs. Velvet reassured me as she pushed me forwards.

Naturally, I found difficulty in carrying on a conversation like this, so I span around to meet the mare head-on. Granted, this caused her to fall forwards, but I was quick enough to stop her descent and support her until she found her balance. “I…would really like that. I’m sure that I’ll have it all figured out by the time I get back.”

And with the in-laws dealt with, I could finally get back to business. “You two: we’re going! Leave your tea and bring your bears!” I announced to the little ones, who immediately perked their heads up and sprang into life. “Thanks for just letting them play about,” I told Mrs. Velvet as the duo got themselves ready behind me.

The mare’s immediately reply was to lean against me and follow my gaze until my little ones were within her vision. “You forget that we had foals in here once. Sometimes you need all the help you can get,” she reminded me, sounding slightly wistful. I guess it’s never easy for the baby birds to leave the nest.

“I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. Twilight is lucky to have you two,” I reaffirmed as I fought the urge to stroke along the mare’s neck. Luckily, I wasn’t given much of a chance; I felt her leave my side soon after as she smirked up at me.

“You charmer! Now, go on- get your chubby keister outta here and into the sunshine!”

She led us to the door, occasionally glancing over her shoulder to check that the girls and I hadn’t inexplicably gotten lost along the way. Once she was at her destination, she waited for us all to catch up, with Night Light bringing up the rear.

At this time, I was ready to leave, and had already made many of my ‘goodbye’s. However, Eve had other ideas, as she awkwardly shuffled over to Mrs. Velvet to offer some gratitude of her own. “Thank you, Miss…” she began before faltering, likely not knowing where to go from there.

Luckily, the one she was addressing let out a little giggle before lightly rubbing the top of the girl’s head. “The pleasure’s all mine, cutie pie- and look at those pretty eyes!”

As she spoke, she tilted Eve’s head up so that their gazes could connect for what was likely the first time. “Why, they look just like your daddy’s!”

I swallowed hard after hearing this. It must’ve been audible too, as Eva looked up at me inquisitively before offering me her hand. “Let’s…let’s go, girls,” I hesitantly remarked, not wanting to hear myself speak, yet also unwilling to allow any more silence to settle around me.

Still, this was it. I’d finally said the last of my goodbyes to Twilight’s parents before heading back to the castle. I’d kept the girls close- and they hadn’t destroyed anything- so the day had been marginally successful. Things were surely looking better now.

“So, what do we do now?” Eve asked me after a short while. She stood furthest from me, being the outer layer of an Eva sandwich, but I surely felt whenever she brought our convoy to a halt.

However, there was no need for her to do so; the plan hadn’t changed. “I told you: we’re going to pack before going on our holiday,” I reminded her.

“For the beach?”

“For the beach.”

Having obviously felt a great deal of joy from my answer, the little girl broke away from our chain and looked up at me. Stood on her tiptoes, she firmly pointed to the ground, and I followed the gesture until our heads were level, fully aware of what she was likely asking for.

Sure enough, she planted a minute kiss on my left cheek- after which she recoiled away before warily watching me from a slight distance. Considering what I knew about the little girl, I slowly extended my arm outwards, creating a small nook in which she could seek refuge.

Sobbing followed this. A happy sobbing, I hope. I didn’t notice any other triggers, and I was perfectly happy to wait it out and see what the forlorn girl did next. “I guess this is a lot for you to understand,” I whispered to her, unsure if she could hear me over her own cries.

Sometime during this, I became aware of a curly-haired lump making her away onto my shoulders. I gave everyone time to settle before suddenly grabbing my shoulder-bound intruder by the arms and flipping her so that her face hung at the same level as mine, albeit upside down.

“And what’s up with you?!” I addressed Eva as she hung there. Given what I also knew about her, I was concerned about her possible reaction, but I was delighted to hear a laugh that I had seldom come across. With closed eyes, the previously-timid girl giggled and squealed away, beside herself with joy as she swung around in my grip.

Obviously, no answer came from her- but I didn’t need it. I was soon able to return her to her vantage point before coaxing back Eve into the fray. “You’ll get your sleeve wet if you do that much more. Let’s go back, littluns,” I offered, giving the girl another opportunity to hold my hand again.

The offer was too enticing to resist. It was a great deal more appealing than expected, as she lunged at it and attempted to use it as leverage to access my torso. Sadly, I had to shut this down, but the little girl didn’t seem too averse to simply playing with my fingers.

“I wish I had more space for you, kiddo. I’d carry you both back home if I could.”