Author's Note
My name is Fireflower and this is my seventh My Little Pony Fanfic, using normal canon characters that is rated T for Teen; therefore, it is no clopfic whatsoever but it is my first crackfic on this website, and a real person one at that: matter of fact, it took me about less than a day to make this because 'twas going to be a contest entry y'all know of so to speak.
Anyways, I just want to state for the record My Little Pony, or rather Friendship Is Magic along with its setting and characters belong to Lauren Faust and Hasbro: of course, you'd already know about it since you'd been reading my stories for a long time so to speak of; speaking of which, the dog character is Chilli Heeler whom belongs to Joe Brumm.
Enjoy it while you can 'cause this was inspired by a Cilvanis video, People who Overhype Chainsaw Man, I'd been watching a lot recently ever since I found it on YouTube: I'd used most of the dialogue for the story I had written alongside some references to other media; in addition, it's made me realize how much I'd wasted my life sleeping on treasures like it.
Chilli's Dog Rage
It was a warm sunny day in the neighborhood where Aaron Paul had resided, sitting upon a jet–black couch all by his lonesome: his bright baby blue eyes were staring off into the flatscreen where Twilight Sparkle was trotting onto the dirt road underneath her; unlike him, she was unaware of his presence in any shape or form whatsoever, not that he’d even care so to speak of.
Suddenly, a cloud of black smoke appeared before the man’s eyes, trapped firmly into the surface over the purple unicorn: although it gave him cause for alarm, the electronic in question was unharmed all the same, even with her almost out of sight as is; nevertheless, it’d dissipated in a matter of seconds, showing an orange dog with crème undersides and brown ears in place.
“I know you’re not in here watching My Little Poopy, sir…!” said the feral biped with a stoic soprano, catching him off–guard at the sight of the former blocking a large portion of the viewing area as the latter was at a loss for words, especially considering the sheer fact that Twilight was barely within the line of eyesight as were the other unicorns near her all the same.
Either way, Aaron didn’t like the startling event one bit, especially considering how the dog was staring back at him like it was nothing whatsoever, prompting him to force out a heavy reply, “bitch, who are you… what the fuck?! Get off the screen, dammit…!”
“This show had a good little run but, you know, now that Bluey is here, it’s gonna be the best: it’s taking over; turn this scrap off…” the feral biped spoke unfazed by the hostility expressed by the man whose white clean–shaven face was becoming tinted with red, “you don’t need to watch this rubbish anymore…”
“So, I could watch both; get off the screen, bitch: you’re covering the captions…!” he’d exclaimed as Twilight had remained unaware of what was going on between him and the orange dog nevertheless.
Irregardless of the angry Aaron’s attitude, the feral biped held firm and said to him without hesitation, “ape, Twilight’s story isn’t nowhere near as inspiring as Bluey’s, sir; turn this scrap off…”
“Bitch, it’s my only day off; what are you doing…?” the lonely man uttered aimlessly before grabbing onto a rectangular interface nearby himself, pointing at the flatscreen where the orange dog remained, “you’re wasting my time; I’m watching something else…!”
“This stuff don’t compare in anyway, sir: Bluey’s only dream is to have–––” was all that the feral biped could say before the surface became blackened, save for a white circle rotating about; soon, his eyes were treated to the sight of a duckling, turtle, and guinea pig traveling the sky in a red boat with wheels and thrusters, its off–white sail bearing the letter W inside a blue circle.
The trio began to sing to his heart’s content as he was ushered into to their upcoming adventure:
Wonder Pets, Wonder Pets
We’re on our way
To help a friend and save the day
We’re not too big
And we’re not too tough
But when we work together
We’ve got the right stuff
Go Wonder Pets, Yay!
“Oh, dear no… oh, dear no…!” the orange dog interjected after jumping into the frame before Aaron’s eyes, shocking him harder than a bolt of lightning no less, “you watching Blunder Pets…?”
“Bitch, why are you following me…?” barked the lonely man as he still had a hard time processing the imagery and its treachery no less.
In any case, he was also starting to notice the feral biped’s expression becoming stern, moreso compared to a wooden ship as the latter spoke, “what, you think their friendship is more inspiring than Bluey’s friends or something just ‘cause their vegans by default…? Ape, Bluey made friends with a Francophone…”
“Is this the Friendship Olympics, nagger; who cares…?” Aaron spat back at the orange dog dryly, growing more exasperated at the latter’s presence, “get off the screen, bitch; I fucking hate you…!”
“Ape, you’re probably watching this scrap with the animation anyway; Bluey’s better: let–––” the feral biped replied afore another black screen appeared, no doubt the work of the lonely man: at this point, he’d felt his grip onto the device hardening about as his eyes became more hotter; then, another dog appeared, this time quadrupedal with light uniform fur, amber devoid of alerts.
Intensity decreased when he’d seen it traversing about next to another biped, an anthropomorphic aardvark with glasses smiling freely as the latter’s attire consisted of a yellow shirt, blue pants, and a pair of red and white sneakers; at the same time, another song had played:
Everyday when you’re walking down the street
Everybody that you meet has an original point of view
“OH MY GOD, NO…!” cried Aaron as his eyes were being treated to the sight of the very same orange canine from before, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…!”
“You’re in here watching Arthur…?” the feral biped barked as the lonely man looked on in astonishment.
Rather than a straightforward answer, he’d yelled back at the orange dog almost instantaneously, “I worked a hundred twenty hours a week, bitch, performing in and out of Hollywood; I just want to watch some cartoons…!”
“You’ll get up for Arthur Mondays and not Bluey Tuesdays…?” the feral biped inquired while Aaron had simply tapped the buttons upon the remote firmly within his grasp no less, “are you daft…?”
“Man, fuck it, alright; you know what…?” the lonely man sighed as the orange dog stood in the way.
Before the black screen appeared once more, the feral biped said to him, “this rubbish pile show come out right next to Bluey, the future best–––”
“Cancel this bitch, I’m gonna go touch grass and visit my buddy Bryan…!” Aaron had now muttered fiercely before standing upright within seconds to spare so to speak of, “ABC can drown in toilet water for this and not just our ABC, Australia's too…!”
