I went hunting with that crossbow not too long ago, and I tell you- that thing was nice. Bagged us a fat friggin’ squirrel for dinner.

That said- I really miss having a proper gun. Yeah, the crossbow is deadly. It’s accurate. It’s even quiet- but it just doesn’t feel right to me. I’ve long gotten used to the feeling of my Guardian Angel not being in my back waistband- but I do yearn for it.

That was a beautiful piece- lemme tell ya. It was an old Smith and Wesson; It shot my own handloaded pissin’ hot .357 rounds that would clap just about anything you’d shoot at. Hell, sometimes I didn’t even need to shoot the thing- sometimes all it takes is staring down the barrel of a .357 held by a deranged lunatic to… convince someone to cooperate.

To say firearms were a hobby of mine would be an understatement. I love everything about them; the weight, the recoil, the smell of gunsmoke, the deafening roar of gunfire.

Crossbows just… aren’t the same. Although…

I do know how to make old fashioned black powder- after all, it’s only three ingredients, really. I used to make that shit for fun. I’d just need to figure out a steady source of saltpeter- but I do have a general idea.

A project for the future, perhaps? Eh, who knows. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me. That’s plenty of time to figure out how to open Pandora’s Box.

Anyway, it was a pretty chill night. Mamma and I set up camp and were currently just sitting by the fire. I was just leaning up against her side and she had a wing wrapped around me.

“Mamma?” I asked, and she hmm’d, “How much longer?” At this point we’ve been traveling for a month and a half and I was honestly sick of it at this point. On one hand, it’s awesome because I get to see all the varied subcultures, architecture, and all the beautiful scenery; but on the other hand, traveling does get tiring after a while. Not having constant access to fresh food, sometimes going days without running water, that sort of stuff. And aside from that, I’ve just overall been feeling homesick.

“Actually, we’re almost there. Beaksmouth is about a day's travel from here.” I couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief.

The plan had changed a little bit, apparently. We were still gonna sell off the wagon and whatever else we didn’t need in Beaksmouth- the part that changed is the fact that we’re moving to some town called Ponyville instead. I’d never heard of the place myself, but I trust Mamma knows what she’s doing. We’d take a train from Manehattan- which is much cheaper over there than it is here.

Let me explain why; Griffons use coal for everything. Equestrians basically just use it for trains. Apparently, all their stuff is powered by latent magic in the air, caused by having so many unicorns there and some crystal gem nonsense. I won’t even pretend to understand it- but that’s the nature of magic, isn’t it? By its very existence, it just doesn’t make sense! But apparently it works!

And speaking of Equestrian coal, those pastel fuckers are shafting us, too. They know damn well that they can name the price of coal whatever they want and ship it overseas. Of course, I can’t blame them for having good business sense.

Fucking diamond dogs.

Ah, but enough complaining. Right now? I was feeling pretty damn content with my life. Overall, things could be a lot worse.

I mean, I still got Mamma after all. Although, I did have something I’ve been meaning to ask her.

“Mamma? Is it alright to ask what happened to your parents?” As a response, she pulled me in tighter with her wing. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s totally fine.”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older…” she then let out a sigh. “Oh, hell with it. I think you understand the concept of death well enough to handle it.” Yeah, I am quite familiar with it.

“It was when I was young… young enough to not remember it, really. They were both still in college at the time.

“They… they made a suicide pact- and to this day, I’m not fully sure why. Gramma pretty much refused to talk about it and that ship’s well passed.” she began to look up at the sky towards the stars. “From what I gathered, they figured… something out- and for whatever reason, they just couldn’t take it. But that’s all just rumor and hearsay. Whatever messed them up so bad, is a secret they took to their graves.” I honestly couldn’t think of anything worth saying- so I wrapped one of my wings around her.

“Sweetie, I want you to promise me something.” I cocked an eyebrow. “If you’re ever feeling so bad as to consider… that… please, just… just tell me.” I saw a tear roll down her cheek, reflected off the moonlight. “You’re all I have in this world.” I just went in for a hug.

“I promise, Mamma.”

The next night, we finally, finally fucking made it to Beaksmouth. The place looked like a rough and tumble New-England style port town. If this story was written by Lovecraft, he would probably go into a long- winded description about gambrel roofs, steepled buildings, small paned windows, that sort of stuff. Then he’d probably start writing about a thinly-veiled allegory about either race-mixing, immigration, or a combination of the two.

Then again, if Lovecraft wrote a story like this, people would think he was hitting the opium too hard. I mean, seriously; Who could ever possibly make up a story as batshit crazy as a deranged lunatic getting reborn into magical bird-creature land where magic is real and two living Goddesses control the celestial bodies. I mean, that’s something that you’d come up with while in the middle of a sleepless amphetamine binge.

Wait. What?

Anyways, when we arrived that night, we stayed in a hotel. The plan was that in the morning, Mamma would take the wagon and sell off anything we didn’t need, like camping gear and the like; I’ll just have to get us tickets for a ship to Equestria. Simple as.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” The ticket man had a tired look in his eyes as though he’d had this conversation many times before.

“I’m sorry, Miss, but the prices went up in the last week since Equestria passed that new law.”

So apparently, what we didn’t account for was Equestria getting tired of the slew of immigrants, and enacting laws in an attempt to slow it. So, they made it fucking expensive. We could still technically afford it- but at the cost of 90% of our funds.

Honestly, we were fucked and I didn’t know what to do. Are we really gonna go broke just to jump ship? Dejectedly, I left the ticket office brooding terribly. So many things I wanted to do right now- many of which involved either arson or bloodshed.

As it turns out, salvation would come in the form of a cop nailing up a wanted poster.

“Hey mister!” I yelled, “What’s all that about?” The guard gave me a funny look.

“It’s a wanted poster. We’re looking to bring a real bad man to justice.” I took a look at the thing.

It had a sketch on it of an older looking griffon with an eyepatch over one eye and a scar over the other- named Amon, if the poster was anything to go by. Wanted dead or alive for a couple counts of murder and several counts of buggery. I looked at the cash reward and couldn’t help but grin- it’d be enough to get us overseas and then some.

“So let’s say someone does find him and brings him some frontier justice; will just his head be good enough to collect the bounty?” The guard tilted his head and looked at me funny.

“I… suppose,” he said slowly. “Uh, may I ask why you want to know?” My grin widened considerably.

“No reason.” I said, ripping down the poster and bolting back to my hotel room. This… promises to be fun.

I wasted no time in suiting up in my favorite gold-hemmed black cloak, throwing on a bandanna to cover my beak. The poster said that he was last spotted to the south, somewhere in the Manuxit swamps.

I then grabbed my tools- dagger, crossbow, a couple bolts, a burlap sack, binoculars, and a hacksaw.

Let the hunt begin.

I got several weird looks as I walked the streets of the town, but I paid them no mind as I flew due south. The swamp where I could potentially find my prey was a mere 20 minute flight- one which felt like hours from the anticipation.

I landed in one of the drier paths in the swamp. Immediately, I knew where to start looking- far in the distance, I saw a whole murder of crows flying away from something- which meant activity in the area. Slowly, I made my way to the commotion, my crossbow tucked under my wing for quick access.

Using the mud and undergrowth as camouflage, I kept my distance from the clearing where the commotion was heard. Once I was sure the path was clear, I made my way to the center- footprints. Griffon footprints- with something being dragged behind him. Unless some chucklefuck was out hunting in the hot swamps in the middle of the day, I had a lead on my quarry.

I was using my small size to my advantage well, being able to duck behind even the smallest bushes if I needed to. I also made sure to watch my step- the squelching of mud or the breaking of branches could easily alert my prey, putting my ass on the line.

I wasn’t gonna let that happen.

Eventually, I came across a rotting wooden shack, the door having fallen off long ago. From the bushes, I used my binoculars to get a closer look at the place- and there he was. Inside the window(or rather, cutout where a window would be) I saw my target, his eyepatch and scar as clear as day. He was moving back and forth, rhythmically- evidently, someone was having a good time. I could tell by the look on his face that he was well distracted.

So, I just casually waltzed up to the shack. The groaning and creaking of floorboards was easily audible from outside the building- I knew he wouldn’t hear a thing until it was too late. I just passed the threshold casually, not a care in the world and aimed my crossbow.

I cleared my throat as loud as I could- and he froze stiff. His body, that is- but the other thing was probably stiff too.

“Lucky you,” I said- and he had just enough time to turn around, eye widening like dinner plates. “Killed by the best!”

THWIP

The fucker screamed as the bolt pierced his chest- instantly downing him with a thud.

“No, really. Consider this your lucky day. Normally I’d watch you bleed, but I’m kinda busy today.” blood was leaking from the corners of his mouth as he writhed in agony on the floor. Swiftly, I drew my dagger and drove it right into his neck, severing his spinal cord.

I pulled a cigarette out and lit it, taking a deep drag.

“Nevermore.”

As for his… partner, she was long dead. She was… quite young. Terribly so. A shame, but what’s done is done.

It’s honestly nice, having plenty of time to deal with a corpse. I just sat leaning up against the wall, savoring my smoke.

Soon, I got to sawing, making a mental note of where to find this place.

I wasted no time in landing in front of the city jail. Then I opened the door and the bell dinged.

“What can I help… you…” his eyes widened- evidently he didn’t expect to see a little girl carrying a burlap sack soaked in blood. He was actually the same guy from earlier; I couldn’t help but smirk.

“I’d like to collect my bounty, please.” I tossed the sack to the ground before him. He just blinked, eyes widening. “You know, for that Amon fellow.” I pulled out the poster and handed it to him, and he just stared in disbelief. “Aren’t you gonna open the bag?” I asked, growing impatient.

Seriously, is it that rare of a sight to see a little girl carrying around a burlap sack with a severed head in it? He opened it slowly like he thought it was gonna explode- then he lifted it up and let the head fall with a splat. Despite all the blood, his distinctive scar and eyepatch were still there.

“Real piece of shit, that guy. Thankfully, I caught him with his pants down and his cock out. Literally.” He looked at the head. Then back to me. Then back to the head.

“There was another body there, if you’d like to know where I found him.” this made him blink and snap out of his stupor.

“Y-yes, very good. Uh, where is it?”

“You’re looking for a rotten old shack in the swamps. Head due south from here until the swamp starts getting thick, then start heading southwest. You’ll come across a clearing- just follow the footprints from there.” I gave a smug smirk. “You’re welcome.” Man, it felt good to be on the right side of the law for once. After a few moments of silence, he spoke up.

“Well, we… we thank you for your service, Miss…”

“Grimfeather.” I was stern in my voice- evidently the cop was a bit freaked out. “Can I have my check now?” He nodded slowly. “Make it out to Amelia, please.”

Way I figured it, we could just cash the check in Equestria when we opened that bank account. It’s probably easier than explaining where we got the massive pile of money from.

I was honestly feeling tired from all that adrenaline- So I decided to go back to the hotel and take a midday nap.

I think I’ve earned it.

You know, in all the excitement, I hadn’t really considered how my mother would feel about the whole situation.

I was in for a pretty rude awakening.

“LEONA GRIMFEATHER!” I awoke with a jolt, rolling over and falling off the bed with a thud.

“Huhwuh?” I was barely awake and feeling quite confused.

“I left you alone for five hours.” she stamped her foot down as to punctuate, “FIVE. HOURS.” she was pacing around the room and suddenly it clicked as to why she was upset.

“Look, I forgot to unthaw the turkey, I’m sorry. Just let it cook a little extra, it’ll be fine.” I yawned, stretching my back and wings like a cat would. I heard her facepalm hard, then she gave me a look that screamed are you fucking kidding me?

I blinked, confused. “Hold on, what’re we talking about? Can we start over?”

“Why… Just why in the name of Equus were you bounty hunting?” Ohhh, right. That.

“Well, shit. I didn’t think you’d find out about that.” I jumped up onto the nearby chair. She just looked at me, her eye twitching. She then sighed, rubbing her beak.

“Leona… You’re a very, very intelligent hen… but you’re an imbecile, Leona.” She took in a deep, exasperated breath, “Everyone was talking about it! Did you think people wouldn’t notice the little hen carrying a severed head in a burlap sack, then turning in a contract for a notorious murder-rapist?” I just shrugged.

“I don’t see what the big deal is. You pretty much said it yourself- the guy deserved it and you know it. Besides, what’s the big problem? It was totally legal!” More or less.

“Are you fu-” she facepalmed again. “WHAT IF HE HURT YOU?” I couldn’t help but cringe. That… was a fair point. “Then what would I have done!? I didn’t know where you went, didn’t know what you were doing, you didn’t even leave a note! This morning would’ve been the last I saw you!” That… hurt to think about.

“B-but, I-”

“Leona, for the love of fuck, there was a little girl there that was the same age as you! They had to bring in some poor widow to help identify the body!” her voice began to crack.

“Yeah, b-”

“What if that was me?” I tried to swallow the guilt. “What if that was me trying to identify your body!?” her voice was rising to a fever pitch, and I just wanted to crawl under the bed and die. I thought about that girl's corpse- I didn’t think much of it at the time, not really. But to imagine my mother seeing me in a state like that… I sniffled.

“I… I didn’t think about-”

“That’s the problem, Leona! You don’t think, you just act and let the potential consequences be damned!” She stopped her pacing and looked me in the eyes. “What you did was unfathomably stupid! Just because you wind up getting away with something, does not make it any less stupid!” Once again, I was about to start crying like a bitch, barely holding myself together. Mother walked up, lowering herself to my eye level.

Instead of a burning rage in her eyes, I saw… sadness. Pleading almost.

“Leona… one day this is gonna catch up to you. All it’s going to take is one wrong move, one wrong slip up for me to lose you forever. Please, just… stop going down this path, if not for your sake, then for mine.” And I couldn’t deny it, not one bit. She wrapped her arms around me, just quietly crying in my chest. I couldn’t help but join her.

What… What's wrong with me? Really? At no point did the idea that I could get hurt ever cross my mind… Is it because I’ve always accepted death as an inevitability, that it’ll happen whenever it happens? I’ve always had the philosophy that whenever I die doesn’t matter- after all, I’ll be dead- but even that’s not a certainty anymore.

I think the reason is… I’ve just never had anyone who actually gives a shit about me from a personal standpoint. Yeah, if I died the boss would have to find a new Caporegime to replace me, but I highly doubt anyone cried when I eventually croaked. But the idea that whenever someone finds my corpse, and even one person would genuinely be devastated by it…

It hurt more than anything else.

Mamma’s right. I can’t keep living like this. But the problem is… how the fuck do I stop? Earlier today was probably the most fun I’ve had in a while- the thrill of hunting the most dangerous game being unmatched. But now when I think about it, it disgusts me- not because I killed someone, but because I could’ve been killed- and in the process, hurt someone else.

“Mamma… how the fuck do I stop?” That line of work is all I’ve ever known. She sniffed and looked up with a small smile.

“You’re gonna like Ponyville, I think. It’s a real small town, population of less than 300. Lots of other kids to play with, too." Honestly, under normal circumstances I’d be appalled by the idea of moving to some barely-on-the-map backwater, but now… “We can settle down there, have a more normal life. Away from all the troubles happening over here.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Okay, Mamma.” I think… Maybe it is time to finally settle down. Just chill- not worrying about money, being able to afford food on a regular basis… “That sounds lovely.” Not worrying about the country possibly falling into anarchy is also nice.

And so, we purchased our tickets and crossed the sea- belongings packed and a check of blood money to our name. Things couldn’t be more ideal for starting over.

Manehattan… was literally fucking New York. I didn’t think architecture like that was even possible currently, to be honest. There was even a pony Statue of Liberty. But we weren’t there for long- we cashed in our check and took a train down to Ponyville.

Let me tell ya- after a month and a half of walking, it was nice to just… sit and relax. As we often do, I was sitting next to Mamma and she had a wing wrapped around me.

Honestly? Ponyville sounded fantastic. The nearby Whitetail Woods provided ample hunting opportunities, rent was cheap… that’s all I can think of, but shit, what more do you need?

I had a good feeling about this place.

Author's Note

DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!
TEN CHAPTERS, THAT IS TEN CHAPTERS IT TOOK TO GET TO THE SETTING IN WHICH THE SHOW IS ACTUALLY BASED ON!
Finally, Leona actually learned something! I don't think it'll be on a friendship report, though.
"Dear Princess Sunbutt, after two successful murders have I finally realized why I keep hurting my Mamma!"
Who knows? Maybe it's time for Leona to actually settle down. Maybe she'll make friends. Maybe she'll find love. Maybe she'll even get around to smashing Pandora's Box open in the name of science? Only time will tell!
One more thing- every time Leona has a "Wait. What?" moment, this plays in my head. Make of this what you will.
As always, thank you for reading! Likes and comments are encouraged and appreciated greatly :3